1 00:00:05,255 --> 00:00:07,880 Good morning, sunshine. 2 00:00:05,255 --> 00:00:07,880 How was your night in the yard? 3 00:00:07,963 --> 00:00:10,005 Perfect. 4 00:00:07,963 --> 00:00:10,005 I like sleeping outside. 5 00:00:10,088 --> 00:00:11,921 Mm-hmm. 6 00:00:12,005 --> 00:00:13,255 Haley lost her keys again. 7 00:00:13,338 --> 00:00:15,546 She's been going through 8 00:00:13,338 --> 00:00:15,546 this irresponsible phase. 9 00:00:15,630 --> 00:00:18,671 Yeah, for 25 years. 10 00:00:15,630 --> 00:00:18,671 I'm not gonna let her get to 26. 11 00:00:18,755 --> 00:00:21,588 Just to be clear, 12 00:00:18,755 --> 00:00:21,588 Claire's not going to kill her. 13 00:00:24,171 --> 00:00:26,171 Let me in! 14 00:00:24,171 --> 00:00:26,171 Please! 15 00:00:26,255 --> 00:00:27,421 - No. 16 00:00:26,255 --> 00:00:27,421 - Please? 17 00:00:27,505 --> 00:00:29,880 This is just like when we 18 00:00:27,505 --> 00:00:29,880 Ferberized her as a baby. 19 00:00:29,963 --> 00:00:32,421 Let her cry it out. 20 00:00:29,963 --> 00:00:32,421 She'll settle down. 21 00:00:32,505 --> 00:00:34,213 Why? 22 00:00:34,296 --> 00:00:36,213 What if I just throw 23 00:00:34,296 --> 00:00:36,213 a blanket out there? 24 00:00:36,296 --> 00:00:37,630 Something that smells 25 00:00:36,296 --> 00:00:37,630 like us. 26 00:00:37,713 --> 00:00:41,088 You can't leave me out here! 27 00:00:37,713 --> 00:00:41,088 It's 2:00 in the morning! 28 00:00:41,171 --> 00:00:43,046 I have to change 29 00:00:41,171 --> 00:00:43,046 for a party. 30 00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:44,838 Good night, honey. 31 00:00:59,921 --> 00:01:01,963 - Morning, Phil. 32 00:00:59,921 --> 00:01:01,963 - No! 33 00:01:02,046 --> 00:01:02,963 It's not a ... 34 00:01:03,046 --> 00:01:04,171 It's not a good morning. 35 00:01:04,255 --> 00:01:05,630 It's gonna be an even worse day. 36 00:01:05,713 --> 00:01:08,338 Every morning, before I shower, 37 00:01:05,713 --> 00:01:08,338 I kick off my underwear. 38 00:01:08,421 --> 00:01:10,838 If I catch it, 39 00:01:08,421 --> 00:01:10,838 it's gonna be a great day. 40 00:01:10,921 --> 00:01:12,046 If I don't... 41 00:01:12,130 --> 00:01:13,130 No! 42 00:01:13,213 --> 00:01:14,130 disaster. 43 00:01:14,213 --> 00:01:16,255 I know that sounds crazy, 44 00:01:14,213 --> 00:01:16,255 but it's an old family ritual 45 00:01:16,338 --> 00:01:18,713 my grandfather did 46 00:01:16,338 --> 00:01:18,713 until the day he died ... 47 00:01:18,796 --> 00:01:22,838 a day ... you guessed it ... 48 00:01:18,796 --> 00:01:22,838 that he dropped his underwear. 49 00:01:22,921 --> 00:01:24,130 I don't know what happened. 50 00:01:24,213 --> 00:01:25,213 It was a strong kick, 51 00:01:25,296 --> 00:01:26,463 ankle flick was on point. 52 00:01:26,546 --> 00:01:28,505 It is just a ridiculous 53 00:01:26,546 --> 00:01:28,505 superstition. 54 00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:29,921 Ridiculous? Let's review. 55 00:01:30,005 --> 00:01:31,546 They day I Rollerbladed 56 00:01:30,005 --> 00:01:31,546 into bees ... 57 00:01:31,630 --> 00:01:33,005 I dropped my underwear. 58 00:01:31,630 --> 00:01:33,005 Mm. 59 00:01:33,088 --> 00:01:34,838 The night I Rollerbladed 60 00:01:33,088 --> 00:01:34,838 into that campfire ... 61 00:01:34,921 --> 00:01:36,255 How about you stop 62 00:01:34,921 --> 00:01:36,255 Rollerblading? 63 00:01:36,338 --> 00:01:37,671 How about I stop breathing? 64 00:01:38,630 --> 00:01:40,171 When I miss my catch, 65 00:01:38,630 --> 00:01:40,171 the best thing I can do 66 00:01:40,255 --> 00:01:41,713 is just wait it out 67 00:01:40,255 --> 00:01:41,713 in a safe place. 68 00:01:41,796 --> 00:01:43,255 Unh-unh. Not today. 69 00:01:41,796 --> 00:01:43,255 No, no, no. 70 00:01:43,338 --> 00:01:44,463 We have a ton of errands 71 00:01:43,338 --> 00:01:44,463 to get done 72 00:01:44,546 --> 00:01:45,880 before we go see 73 00:01:44,546 --> 00:01:45,880 Steely Dan this afternoon. 74 00:01:45,963 --> 00:01:47,255 What time is that? 75 00:01:45,963 --> 00:01:47,255 3:00 p.m. 76 00:01:47,338 --> 00:01:48,255 Why is it so ... 77 00:01:48,338 --> 00:01:50,046 They are not young men, 78 00:01:48,338 --> 00:01:50,046 Phil. 79 00:01:50,130 --> 00:01:52,671 Great. My phone is broken, 80 00:01:50,130 --> 00:01:52,671 and it's your fault. 81 00:01:52,755 --> 00:01:53,796 How do you figure that? 82 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:55,505 Because I had to throw it 83 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:55,505 at some squirrels last night 84 00:01:55,588 --> 00:01:56,880 to keep them from attacking me. 85 00:01:56,963 --> 00:01:58,338 You guys have to buy me 86 00:01:56,963 --> 00:01:58,338 a new one. 87 00:01:58,421 --> 00:02:00,005 Costing me money. 88 00:01:58,421 --> 00:02:00,005 It's already happening. 89 00:02:00,088 --> 00:02:01,213 No, it's not 90 00:02:00,088 --> 00:02:01,213 costing you money 91 00:02:01,296 --> 00:02:02,630 because we are not 92 00:02:01,296 --> 00:02:02,630 buying her a new phone. 93 00:02:02,713 --> 00:02:03,630 What? 94 00:02:03,713 --> 00:02:04,921 But I need it for work. 95 00:02:05,005 --> 00:02:06,546 I sit on a stupid 96 00:02:05,005 --> 00:02:06,546 golf course all day. 97 00:02:06,630 --> 00:02:07,880 What else am I 98 00:02:06,630 --> 00:02:07,880 supposed to look at? 99 00:02:07,963 --> 00:02:09,088 You can have a new phone 100 00:02:09,171 --> 00:02:10,588 when you can afford a new phone. 101 00:02:10,671 --> 00:02:12,338 Phil, would you cut 102 00:02:10,671 --> 00:02:12,338 and toast those bagels? 103 00:02:12,421 --> 00:02:13,880 With the knife? 104 00:02:13,963 --> 00:02:16,046 Sweetie, here are 105 00:02:13,963 --> 00:02:16,046 the spare keys. 106 00:02:16,130 --> 00:02:17,546 I would like you to make 107 00:02:16,130 --> 00:02:17,546 yourself a copy. 108 00:02:17,630 --> 00:02:19,255 I can't wait to find out 109 00:02:19,338 --> 00:02:20,880 how you lose those. 110 00:02:20,963 --> 00:02:23,130 No wonder the neighbors think 111 00:02:20,963 --> 00:02:23,130 you're so mean. 112 00:02:23,213 --> 00:02:24,963 You hear everything 113 00:02:23,213 --> 00:02:24,963 when you sleep outside. 114 00:02:31,130 --> 00:02:33,213 Gloria! 115 00:02:36,046 --> 00:02:37,213 I was just out in the garage. 116 00:02:37,296 --> 00:02:38,171 Is there anything 117 00:02:38,255 --> 00:02:39,130 you want to tell me? 118 00:02:39,213 --> 00:02:40,088 Ah, yes. 119 00:02:40,171 --> 00:02:41,046 I got rid of 120 00:02:41,130 --> 00:02:42,005 your exercise machine. 121 00:02:42,088 --> 00:02:43,380 It was a piece of junk. 122 00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:45,255 You owe me and Chuck Norris 123 00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:45,255 an apology. 124 00:02:45,338 --> 00:02:48,046 But I'm talking about 125 00:02:45,338 --> 00:02:48,046 the dent in your car. 126 00:02:48,130 --> 00:02:49,046 Did you hit something 127 00:02:49,130 --> 00:02:50,005 we can talk about, 128 00:02:50,088 --> 00:02:51,046 or should I hose the front 129 00:02:51,130 --> 00:02:52,046 and find a body shop 130 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:53,005 that doesn't ask questions? 131 00:02:53,088 --> 00:02:54,463 I didn't hit anything. 132 00:02:54,546 --> 00:02:56,338 Someone must have hit me when 133 00:02:56,421 --> 00:02:58,380 I was inside the store with Joe. 134 00:02:58,463 --> 00:02:59,838 But talking about accidents, 135 00:02:59,921 --> 00:03:02,338 if your dog pees one more time 136 00:03:02,421 --> 00:03:03,755 in one of my slippers, 137 00:03:03,838 --> 00:03:05,005 I may accidentally 138 00:03:05,088 --> 00:03:06,005 leave her at the beach. 139 00:03:06,088 --> 00:03:07,171 I would never let that happen. 140 00:03:07,255 --> 00:03:09,171 And don't lash out at her. 141 00:03:09,255 --> 00:03:10,296 If you crashed the car, 142 00:03:10,380 --> 00:03:11,296 just tell me. 143 00:03:11,380 --> 00:03:12,546 I didn't. 144 00:03:12,630 --> 00:03:14,505 And I don't appreciate 145 00:03:12,630 --> 00:03:14,505 being called a liar. 146 00:03:14,588 --> 00:03:15,505 Are you kidding? 147 00:03:15,588 --> 00:03:16,505 You can never admit 148 00:03:16,588 --> 00:03:17,505 to making a mistake, 149 00:03:17,588 --> 00:03:18,505 and it drives me crazy. 150 00:03:18,588 --> 00:03:19,838 Remember that romantic trip 151 00:03:19,921 --> 00:03:21,546 we took to Rome, Indiana? 152 00:03:21,630 --> 00:03:22,880 That's where I wanted to go. 153 00:03:22,963 --> 00:03:24,213 I meant to buy those tickets. 154 00:03:24,296 --> 00:03:25,463 Then why did you learn Italian? 155 00:03:25,546 --> 00:03:26,588 Mamma mia, Jay. 156 00:03:26,671 --> 00:03:28,213 If I had been in an accident, 157 00:03:28,296 --> 00:03:29,671 I will admit it. 158 00:03:29,755 --> 00:03:31,255 Now, I have to go 159 00:03:31,338 --> 00:03:33,671 and buy more slippers online. 160 00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:35,338 Try not to crash the computer. 161 00:03:35,421 --> 00:03:36,463 Hey, Cam. 162 00:03:36,546 --> 00:03:38,338 So, the towel girl at the gym 163 00:03:38,421 --> 00:03:39,796 said that I look like 164 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:41,213 an old Prince Harry. 165 00:03:41,296 --> 00:03:42,213 Shh! Shh! 166 00:03:42,296 --> 00:03:43,171 Oh, come on. 167 00:03:43,255 --> 00:03:44,463 Are you eavesdropping on Pam 168 00:03:43,255 --> 00:03:44,463 again? 169 00:03:44,546 --> 00:03:46,380 Yes. I'm trying to, 170 00:03:44,546 --> 00:03:46,380 but you keep talking. 171 00:03:46,463 --> 00:03:47,671 She's on the phone. 172 00:03:47,755 --> 00:03:49,921 Oh, baby, I miss you, too. 173 00:03:50,005 --> 00:03:52,130 If you were here, 174 00:03:50,005 --> 00:03:52,130 you can't believe... 175 00:03:52,213 --> 00:03:53,463 No. No. Okay, 176 00:03:52,213 --> 00:03:53,463 that's just gross. 177 00:03:53,546 --> 00:03:54,713 That's your sister. 178 00:03:53,546 --> 00:03:54,713 Shh. 179 00:03:54,796 --> 00:03:56,380 things I'd do to you. 180 00:03:56,463 --> 00:03:59,213 I know you only got 181 00:03:56,463 --> 00:03:59,213 10 minutes... 182 00:03:59,296 --> 00:04:01,088 10 minutes? 183 00:03:59,296 --> 00:04:01,088 He's on a time limit? 184 00:04:01,171 --> 00:04:02,088 let me get 185 00:04:01,171 --> 00:04:02,088 to the dirty parts... 186 00:04:02,171 --> 00:04:03,463 She's talking 187 00:04:02,171 --> 00:04:03,463 to Bo in jail. 188 00:04:03,546 --> 00:04:04,671 Bo is Pam's baby daddy ... 189 00:04:04,755 --> 00:04:05,713 currently incarcerated 190 00:04:05,796 --> 00:04:07,130 back in Grasshopper, Missouri, 191 00:04:07,213 --> 00:04:08,213 for punching a police horse. 192 00:04:08,296 --> 00:04:09,171 And now, I'm worried 193 00:04:09,255 --> 00:04:10,130 she's just gonna 194 00:04:10,213 --> 00:04:11,171 throw her future away by 195 00:04:11,255 --> 00:04:12,380 getting back together with him. 196 00:04:12,463 --> 00:04:14,380 It's crazy how weak she is 197 00:04:14,463 --> 00:04:17,088 with him when she's so strong 198 00:04:14,463 --> 00:04:17,088 in other ways. 199 00:04:17,171 --> 00:04:18,921 I mean, she is 200 00:04:17,171 --> 00:04:18,921 the three-time winner 201 00:04:19,005 --> 00:04:20,588 of the country-fair mule drag. 202 00:04:20,671 --> 00:04:22,796 Step away 203 00:04:20,671 --> 00:04:22,796 from the pipe, Cam. 204 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:23,838 Come on. 205 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:23,838 You're better than that. 206 00:04:23,921 --> 00:04:25,463 No, I'm not, 207 00:04:23,921 --> 00:04:25,463 and neither are you. 208 00:04:25,546 --> 00:04:26,796 You eavesdropped 209 00:04:25,546 --> 00:04:26,796 on that couple 210 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:28,213 behind us 211 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:28,213 at "Bridget Jones's Baby." 212 00:04:28,296 --> 00:04:29,171 Oh, no, that wasn't 213 00:04:28,296 --> 00:04:29,171 eavesdropping. 214 00:04:29,255 --> 00:04:30,338 We were in public. 215 00:04:30,421 --> 00:04:31,463 And do you think 216 00:04:30,421 --> 00:04:31,463 I really wanted to hear 217 00:04:31,546 --> 00:04:33,713 that moron's recap 218 00:04:31,546 --> 00:04:33,713 of the first movie? 219 00:04:33,796 --> 00:04:35,588 Half those details 220 00:04:33,796 --> 00:04:35,588 were from "Love Actually." 221 00:04:35,671 --> 00:04:37,755 Do you think I'm happy 222 00:04:35,671 --> 00:04:37,755 about this situation? 223 00:04:37,838 --> 00:04:40,088 I wish I couldn't even 224 00:04:37,838 --> 00:04:40,088 hear her at all! 225 00:04:40,171 --> 00:04:42,713 Hey, Boss, are you done 226 00:04:40,171 --> 00:04:42,713 listening to your sister? 227 00:04:42,796 --> 00:04:44,713 The boys are asking if they can 228 00:04:42,796 --> 00:04:44,713 use the table saw again. 229 00:04:44,796 --> 00:04:46,796 Okay, well, 230 00:04:44,796 --> 00:04:46,796 he's joking. 231 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:48,421 Before Francisco 232 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:48,421 was a contractor, 233 00:04:48,505 --> 00:04:50,296 he did stand-up comedy 234 00:04:48,505 --> 00:04:50,296 in Guatemala. 235 00:04:50,380 --> 00:04:51,755 Not just in Guatemala. 236 00:04:51,838 --> 00:04:53,505 Actually, I'm doing 10 minutes 237 00:04:51,838 --> 00:04:53,505 this Friday night at the ... 238 00:04:53,588 --> 00:04:54,588 Oh, we have 239 00:04:53,588 --> 00:04:54,588 dinner reservations. 240 00:04:54,671 --> 00:04:56,213 Oh, gay holiday. 241 00:04:54,671 --> 00:04:56,213 Yeah, um... 242 00:04:54,671 --> 00:04:56,213 Yeah. 243 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:59,046 So, look, but I do want to talk 244 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:59,046 about the sink before you leave. 245 00:04:59,130 --> 00:05:00,463 Sorry, Mitch. 246 00:04:59,130 --> 00:05:00,463 That ship has sailed. 247 00:05:00,546 --> 00:05:03,588 Oh, also, did you bring the 248 00:05:00,546 --> 00:05:03,588 new tiles for the backsplash? 249 00:05:03,671 --> 00:05:05,380 Yes, they're in my truck. 250 00:05:03,671 --> 00:05:05,380 I'll be right back, Boss. 251 00:05:05,463 --> 00:05:06,880 Great. Okay. Yeah. 252 00:05:05,463 --> 00:05:06,880 Go get those. 253 00:05:06,963 --> 00:05:08,921 Hey, um, I-I don't want to 254 00:05:06,963 --> 00:05:08,921 make a big deal about this, 255 00:05:09,005 --> 00:05:12,171 but do you notice how he calls 256 00:05:09,005 --> 00:05:12,171 you "Boss" and me "Mitch"? 257 00:05:12,255 --> 00:05:13,588 No, but I did notice... 258 00:05:12,255 --> 00:05:13,588 Yeah. 259 00:05:13,671 --> 00:05:15,713 how one of his little pouches 260 00:05:13,671 --> 00:05:15,713 on his tool belt 261 00:05:15,796 --> 00:05:18,005 is filled with jelly beans. 262 00:05:15,796 --> 00:05:18,005 How cute is that? 263 00:05:18,088 --> 00:05:20,630 The point is, he treats you 264 00:05:18,088 --> 00:05:20,630 like the actual boss 265 00:05:20,713 --> 00:05:23,338 and me like I'm some, you know, 266 00:05:20,713 --> 00:05:23,338 ditzy trophy wife. 267 00:05:23,421 --> 00:05:24,588 First of all, 268 00:05:23,421 --> 00:05:24,588 I thought we agreed 269 00:05:24,671 --> 00:05:26,713 we had the rare 270 00:05:24,671 --> 00:05:26,713 dual-trophy-wife situation. 271 00:05:26,796 --> 00:05:28,421 Yeah. 272 00:05:26,796 --> 00:05:28,421 And aside from that, 273 00:05:28,505 --> 00:05:31,546 maybe it's because I'm a little 274 00:05:28,505 --> 00:05:31,546 more, you know, assertive. 275 00:05:31,630 --> 00:05:33,588 Do you think so? Because 276 00:05:31,630 --> 00:05:33,588 I actually have thought that. 277 00:05:33,671 --> 00:05:35,338 I mean, 278 00:05:33,671 --> 00:05:35,338 maybe I'm too passive, 279 00:05:35,421 --> 00:05:37,796 which could be why 280 00:05:35,421 --> 00:05:37,796 my career has stalled... 281 00:05:35,421 --> 00:05:37,796 No. 282 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:41,255 or I agreed to have sex with 283 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:41,255 all three women who asked me. 284 00:05:41,338 --> 00:05:43,338 Okay. 285 00:05:41,338 --> 00:05:43,338 Oh, it was so gentle... 286 00:05:43,421 --> 00:05:44,671 Mm-hmm. 287 00:05:43,421 --> 00:05:44,671 and gross. 288 00:05:44,755 --> 00:05:46,213 You know what? 289 00:05:44,755 --> 00:05:46,213 Well, now's your chance. 290 00:05:46,296 --> 00:05:48,921 You can show Francisco 291 00:05:46,296 --> 00:05:48,921 that you're the big dog. 292 00:05:49,005 --> 00:05:51,005 It's all about 293 00:05:49,005 --> 00:05:51,005 body language, okay? 294 00:05:51,088 --> 00:05:52,213 Show him you can 295 00:05:51,088 --> 00:05:52,213 lead the pack. 296 00:05:52,296 --> 00:05:53,421 Here you go, Boss. 297 00:05:53,505 --> 00:05:55,088 Let me know which one 298 00:05:53,505 --> 00:05:55,088 you like best, all right? 299 00:05:55,213 --> 00:05:58,088 Well, when we decide, 300 00:05:55,213 --> 00:05:58,088 we will let you know. 301 00:05:58,171 --> 00:06:01,088 But first, I wanted to talk 302 00:05:58,171 --> 00:06:01,088 about the, uh ... the dishwasher. 303 00:06:01,171 --> 00:06:03,088 Uh, I wanted it over here 304 00:06:01,171 --> 00:06:03,088 on the left, 305 00:06:03,171 --> 00:06:05,255 but now, for some reason, 306 00:06:03,171 --> 00:06:05,255 it's on the right. 307 00:06:05,338 --> 00:06:07,963 I would like it on the left 308 00:06:05,338 --> 00:06:07,963 like I asked. 309 00:06:08,046 --> 00:06:09,130 Asserted? 310 00:06:09,213 --> 00:06:10,505 Um... 311 00:06:09,213 --> 00:06:10,505 No, no, no, no. 312 00:06:10,588 --> 00:06:12,713 Eyes ... Eyes over here, okay? 313 00:06:10,588 --> 00:06:12,713 This ... This is my thing. 314 00:06:12,796 --> 00:06:13,921 Well, let me 315 00:06:12,796 --> 00:06:13,921 show you something. 316 00:06:14,005 --> 00:06:14,921 Yeah. 317 00:06:14,005 --> 00:06:14,921 All right, 318 00:06:14,005 --> 00:06:14,921 look under the sink. 319 00:06:15,005 --> 00:06:16,171 Will do. 320 00:06:16,255 --> 00:06:18,796 Go down. 321 00:06:16,255 --> 00:06:18,796 All the way. 322 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:20,546 Okay, now, 323 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:20,546 get in there. 324 00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:22,671 Look up. Do you see 325 00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:22,671 that post on your left? 326 00:06:22,755 --> 00:06:23,796 Wait. Ho... Okay. 327 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:25,046 I can't move that, 328 00:06:25,130 --> 00:06:27,171 which is why the dishwasher 329 00:06:25,130 --> 00:06:27,171 needs to stay where it is. 330 00:06:27,255 --> 00:06:29,505 Anything else? 331 00:06:29,588 --> 00:06:31,380 No, I'm good. 332 00:06:31,463 --> 00:06:32,963 Got some sawdust 333 00:06:31,463 --> 00:06:32,963 on your shirt. 334 00:06:33,046 --> 00:06:36,255 It tickles. 335 00:06:41,963 --> 00:06:43,588 Hey, kid. 336 00:06:41,963 --> 00:06:43,588 Wake up. 337 00:06:43,671 --> 00:06:45,255 We need to talk. 338 00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:46,213 What? 339 00:06:46,296 --> 00:06:49,088 Your mom's car 340 00:06:46,296 --> 00:06:49,088 got a big dent in it. 341 00:06:49,171 --> 00:06:51,046 Now, I know you were 342 00:06:49,171 --> 00:06:51,046 with her. 343 00:06:51,130 --> 00:06:52,880 Did you see 344 00:06:51,130 --> 00:06:52,880 how that happened? 345 00:06:52,963 --> 00:06:56,546 Someone must have hit the car 346 00:06:52,963 --> 00:06:56,546 when we were in the store. 347 00:06:56,630 --> 00:06:57,921 That's what your mom said, 348 00:06:58,005 --> 00:07:00,963 but if it was something else, 349 00:06:58,005 --> 00:07:00,963 like, I don't know, 350 00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:03,838 she got into a little fender 351 00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:03,838 bender, you could tell me. 352 00:07:03,921 --> 00:07:07,171 Someone must have hit the car 353 00:07:03,921 --> 00:07:07,171 when we were in the store. 354 00:07:07,255 --> 00:07:09,380 I know she got to you, 355 00:07:07,255 --> 00:07:09,380 but, uh... 356 00:07:09,463 --> 00:07:11,713 I need you to tell me 357 00:07:09,463 --> 00:07:11,713 the truth. 358 00:07:11,796 --> 00:07:13,421 Is that ice cream 359 00:07:11,796 --> 00:07:13,421 for me? 360 00:07:13,505 --> 00:07:14,463 Could be. 361 00:07:14,546 --> 00:07:16,505 What happened to 362 00:07:14,546 --> 00:07:16,505 your mom's car? 363 00:07:16,588 --> 00:07:18,880 Mmmmm... 364 00:07:18,963 --> 00:07:20,588 I can wait all day, 365 00:07:20,671 --> 00:07:23,255 but the trouble with ice cream 366 00:07:20,671 --> 00:07:23,255 is, it melts. 367 00:07:23,338 --> 00:07:24,755 I like it when it melts. 368 00:07:24,838 --> 00:07:25,963 What do you mean you like it 369 00:07:24,838 --> 00:07:25,963 when it melts? 370 00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:27,755 Nobody likes ice cream 371 00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:27,755 when it melts. 372 00:07:27,838 --> 00:07:28,755 It's like soup. 373 00:07:28,838 --> 00:07:29,755 You hate soup. 374 00:07:29,838 --> 00:07:30,880 Not chocolate soup. 375 00:07:30,963 --> 00:07:32,546 Look, we're getting 376 00:07:30,963 --> 00:07:32,546 off track here. 377 00:07:32,630 --> 00:07:34,463 Tell me what happened 378 00:07:32,630 --> 00:07:34,463 to your mom's car, 379 00:07:34,546 --> 00:07:36,046 and you can have 380 00:07:34,546 --> 00:07:36,046 your ice cream. 381 00:07:36,130 --> 00:07:37,588 Hello, Jay. 382 00:07:37,671 --> 00:07:38,588 Gloria, I... 383 00:07:38,671 --> 00:07:39,588 Look at you, 384 00:07:39,671 --> 00:07:41,546 trying to bribe 385 00:07:39,671 --> 00:07:41,546 a five-year-old. 386 00:07:41,630 --> 00:07:42,963 You should be ashamed. 387 00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:44,963 Let's go, Joe. 388 00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:44,963 Now that you're awake, 389 00:07:45,005 --> 00:07:47,505 Mommy's gonna fix you 390 00:07:45,005 --> 00:07:47,505 a healthy snack. 391 00:07:53,338 --> 00:07:54,338 Check her phone. 392 00:07:54,421 --> 00:07:56,213 Huh? 393 00:07:54,421 --> 00:07:56,213 Check her phone. 394 00:07:56,296 --> 00:07:57,671 And leave the ice cream. 395 00:07:57,755 --> 00:07:59,630 It'll be nice and warm 396 00:07:57,755 --> 00:07:59,630 when I get back. 397 00:08:03,671 --> 00:08:05,630 Oh, Phil, could you change the 398 00:08:03,671 --> 00:08:05,630 lightbulb down in the kitchen? 399 00:08:05,713 --> 00:08:07,130 First you ask me to help clean 400 00:08:05,713 --> 00:08:07,130 the window screens. 401 00:08:07,213 --> 00:08:09,338 Now you want me to do something 402 00:08:07,213 --> 00:08:09,338 with a ladder and electricity? 403 00:08:09,421 --> 00:08:11,088 Have you forgotten about 404 00:08:09,421 --> 00:08:11,088 my underwear, Claire? 405 00:08:11,171 --> 00:08:13,463 Look, I have friends 406 00:08:11,171 --> 00:08:13,463 whose husbands are mean 407 00:08:13,546 --> 00:08:15,630 or drink too much 408 00:08:13,546 --> 00:08:15,630 or don't come home at all. 409 00:08:15,713 --> 00:08:18,505 And in that moment, 410 00:08:15,713 --> 00:08:18,505 I envied those friends. 411 00:08:18,588 --> 00:08:20,963 Fine. I will change 412 00:08:18,588 --> 00:08:20,963 the lightbulb in the kitchen. 413 00:08:21,046 --> 00:08:24,838 You can put away this nice, 414 00:08:21,046 --> 00:08:24,838 soft, fluffy laundry. 415 00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:26,380 All right. 416 00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:26,380 Don't worry. 417 00:08:26,463 --> 00:08:28,588 There's not even 418 00:08:26,463 --> 00:08:28,588 any zippers or buttons. 419 00:08:28,671 --> 00:08:30,088 Nothing sharp in there. 420 00:08:30,171 --> 00:08:31,588 Wouldn't want you 421 00:08:30,171 --> 00:08:31,588 to lose a finger 422 00:08:31,671 --> 00:08:33,921 in a tragic 423 00:08:31,671 --> 00:08:33,921 folding incident. 424 00:08:36,713 --> 00:08:38,296 Oh, hey. 425 00:08:38,380 --> 00:08:40,338 I was putting away 426 00:08:38,380 --> 00:08:40,338 that harmless laundry 427 00:08:40,421 --> 00:08:41,713 when I stepped 428 00:08:40,421 --> 00:08:41,713 on Luke's skateboard, 429 00:08:41,796 --> 00:08:43,171 rolled out 430 00:08:41,796 --> 00:08:43,171 the screenless window, 431 00:08:43,255 --> 00:08:44,296 and landed in the hedge. 432 00:08:44,380 --> 00:08:45,630 But you're right. 433 00:08:45,713 --> 00:08:48,171 I'm sure it had nothing to do 434 00:08:45,713 --> 00:08:48,171 with the underwear. 435 00:08:48,255 --> 00:08:49,380 It's self-fulfilling. 436 00:08:49,463 --> 00:08:51,421 Phil believes something bad 437 00:08:49,463 --> 00:08:51,421 is gonna happen, 438 00:08:51,505 --> 00:08:53,880 so he makes it happen. 439 00:08:53,963 --> 00:08:56,130 Ow! Paper cut. 440 00:08:56,213 --> 00:08:57,588 Of course, today. 441 00:08:57,671 --> 00:08:58,713 Seriously? 442 00:08:58,796 --> 00:09:00,421 Is this part of 443 00:08:58,796 --> 00:09:00,421 the underwear prophecy? 444 00:09:00,505 --> 00:09:02,380 Aren't you being 445 00:09:00,505 --> 00:09:02,380 a little dramatic? 446 00:09:05,588 --> 00:09:07,088 Phil? 447 00:09:07,171 --> 00:09:09,296 Little bit harder 448 00:09:07,171 --> 00:09:09,296 to connect the dots on that one. 449 00:09:09,380 --> 00:09:12,338 But coincidences do happen. 450 00:09:12,421 --> 00:09:13,380 Honey, it's fine. 451 00:09:13,463 --> 00:09:14,921 We'll just finish 452 00:09:13,463 --> 00:09:14,921 our errands on a day 453 00:09:15,005 --> 00:09:16,380 when you catch 454 00:09:15,005 --> 00:09:16,380 your underwear. 455 00:09:16,463 --> 00:09:17,463 Oh, do you have 456 00:09:16,463 --> 00:09:17,463 the tickets? 457 00:09:17,546 --> 00:09:20,130 They're in the car, but I don't 458 00:09:17,546 --> 00:09:20,130 think I should drive. 459 00:09:20,213 --> 00:09:22,130 Fine, but you are 460 00:09:20,213 --> 00:09:22,130 driving home, 461 00:09:22,213 --> 00:09:24,671 because today, 462 00:09:22,213 --> 00:09:24,671 I'm reelin' in the wine. 463 00:09:24,755 --> 00:09:26,671 Oh, you've got the keys. 464 00:09:24,755 --> 00:09:26,671 Can you toss them to me? 465 00:09:26,755 --> 00:09:28,380 Yeah, here. 466 00:09:26,755 --> 00:09:28,380 No! 467 00:09:32,421 --> 00:09:35,213 No! 468 00:09:32,421 --> 00:09:35,213 Those are our keys! Stop! 469 00:09:35,296 --> 00:09:37,713 Man plans to go to Steely Dan. 470 00:09:37,796 --> 00:09:39,588 God laughs. 471 00:09:40,713 --> 00:09:42,755 Damn it. Haley has 472 00:09:40,713 --> 00:09:42,755 our other set of keys. 473 00:09:42,838 --> 00:09:46,505 Yes, Claire, 474 00:09:42,838 --> 00:09:46,505 I do think it bit me a little! 475 00:09:46,588 --> 00:09:48,005 Gloria, I'm sorry. 476 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,671 You're my wife. 477 00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:51,130 I love you, 478 00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:51,130 and I trust you. 479 00:09:51,213 --> 00:09:52,880 You can't reason 480 00:09:51,213 --> 00:09:52,880 with a sociopath. 481 00:09:52,963 --> 00:09:54,546 You lure them with kindness. 482 00:09:54,630 --> 00:09:57,338 You lull them into thinking 483 00:09:54,630 --> 00:09:57,338 you're on the same side, 484 00:09:57,421 --> 00:10:00,546 and then nail them with 485 00:09:57,421 --> 00:10:00,546 incontrovertible evidence, 486 00:10:00,630 --> 00:10:02,713 which I had. 487 00:10:02,796 --> 00:10:04,755 I also found out 488 00:10:02,796 --> 00:10:04,755 I'm still listed in her phone 489 00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:07,588 as "Jay, Red Tracksuit." 490 00:10:07,671 --> 00:10:10,213 And if you say you weren't in 491 00:10:07,671 --> 00:10:10,213 an accident, I believe you. 492 00:10:10,296 --> 00:10:12,088 Thank you, baby. 493 00:10:12,171 --> 00:10:15,088 There is just... 494 00:10:12,171 --> 00:10:15,088 one more thing. 495 00:10:15,171 --> 00:10:16,755 Is that my phone? 496 00:10:16,838 --> 00:10:18,296 Yeah. You've got a lot of 497 00:10:16,838 --> 00:10:18,296 interesting pictures here, 498 00:10:18,380 --> 00:10:20,005 but especially this one. 499 00:10:20,088 --> 00:10:22,088 It looks like the front end 500 00:10:20,088 --> 00:10:22,088 of your car 501 00:10:22,171 --> 00:10:24,588 is rammed into the back end 502 00:10:22,171 --> 00:10:24,588 of this car. 503 00:10:24,671 --> 00:10:26,505 Now, I'm not 504 00:10:24,671 --> 00:10:26,505 an insurance adjuster, 505 00:10:26,588 --> 00:10:28,921 but I would say 506 00:10:26,588 --> 00:10:28,921 that that's pretty solid proof 507 00:10:29,005 --> 00:10:30,380 you were in an accident. 508 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:31,421 That's not my car. 509 00:10:31,505 --> 00:10:33,630 But why would you take a picture 510 00:10:31,505 --> 00:10:33,630 of some random accident? 511 00:10:33,713 --> 00:10:36,171 To remind me 512 00:10:33,713 --> 00:10:36,171 of how precious life is. 513 00:10:36,255 --> 00:10:37,171 That's your license plate. 514 00:10:37,255 --> 00:10:39,713 Do you even know who makes 515 00:10:37,255 --> 00:10:39,713 license plates, Jay? 516 00:10:39,796 --> 00:10:40,838 Prisoners! 517 00:10:40,921 --> 00:10:43,630 Are you gonna take the word 518 00:10:40,921 --> 00:10:43,630 of a convicted felon 519 00:10:43,713 --> 00:10:45,171 over your wife's? 520 00:10:45,255 --> 00:10:46,755 Makes no sense. 521 00:10:45,255 --> 00:10:46,755 Exactly. 522 00:10:46,838 --> 00:10:48,130 What is your problem? 523 00:10:48,213 --> 00:10:49,588 Don't you see 524 00:10:48,213 --> 00:10:49,588 what this is doing to me? 525 00:10:49,671 --> 00:10:52,213 I need to know that you can 526 00:10:49,671 --> 00:10:52,213 admit when you made a mistake. 527 00:10:52,296 --> 00:10:54,671 I know there's good in you, 528 00:10:52,296 --> 00:10:54,671 Gloria! 529 00:10:54,755 --> 00:10:56,713 Here you go. 530 00:10:58,921 --> 00:11:01,255 I ... I am so sorry. 531 00:11:01,338 --> 00:11:02,838 Cherish this. 532 00:11:02,921 --> 00:11:05,588 It was the longest I've been 533 00:11:02,921 --> 00:11:05,588 without a phone since phones. 534 00:11:05,671 --> 00:11:08,130 It was hard at first ... 535 00:11:05,671 --> 00:11:08,130 the twitching thumbs, 536 00:11:08,213 --> 00:11:11,630 the phantom vibrations, 537 00:11:08,213 --> 00:11:11,630 salads left un-Instagrammed. 538 00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:13,588 But then the strangest thing 539 00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:13,588 happened. 540 00:11:16,046 --> 00:11:17,838 Have you ever stopped 541 00:11:16,046 --> 00:11:17,838 to smell these things? 542 00:11:21,088 --> 00:11:24,921 It's been years 543 00:11:21,088 --> 00:11:24,921 since I LOL'd IRL. 544 00:11:25,005 --> 00:11:27,588 I even found an old book in the 545 00:11:25,005 --> 00:11:27,588 truck and started reading it. 546 00:11:27,671 --> 00:11:30,255 The only problem was, 547 00:11:27,671 --> 00:11:30,255 people kept interrupting. 548 00:11:34,463 --> 00:11:35,838 I didn't need a phone anymore. 549 00:11:35,921 --> 00:11:37,796 I just needed a quiet place 550 00:11:35,921 --> 00:11:37,796 to find out 551 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:40,296 how they kill 552 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:40,296 that mockingbird. 553 00:11:41,588 --> 00:11:43,213 Hey, excuse me. 554 00:11:43,296 --> 00:11:44,838 Excuse me! 555 00:11:44,921 --> 00:11:47,505 S-Sorry to bother you 556 00:11:44,921 --> 00:11:47,505 while you sand, Francisco, um ... 557 00:11:47,588 --> 00:11:48,921 Oh, that's cute. 558 00:11:49,005 --> 00:11:51,130 I just want to revisit the paint 559 00:11:49,005 --> 00:11:51,130 color we chose for the cabinets. 560 00:11:51,213 --> 00:11:52,630 Do you still have 561 00:11:51,213 --> 00:11:52,630 the old sample? 562 00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:54,421 Uh, maybe. 563 00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:54,421 I'll go look. 564 00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:54,421 Okay. 565 00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:56,546 Did you discuss this 566 00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:56,546 with, uh ... with the boss? 567 00:11:56,630 --> 00:11:58,671 I don't have to 568 00:11:56,630 --> 00:11:58,671 discuss it with ... 569 00:11:56,630 --> 00:11:58,671 Daddy, where's Daddy? 570 00:11:58,755 --> 00:12:00,088 Oh. 571 00:11:58,755 --> 00:12:00,088 Yeah, what do you need? 572 00:12:00,171 --> 00:12:01,505 My suitcase. 573 00:12:00,171 --> 00:12:01,505 Why? 574 00:12:01,588 --> 00:12:03,546 I'm going to Disneyland 575 00:12:01,588 --> 00:12:03,546 with Tricia's family. 576 00:12:03,630 --> 00:12:05,255 Sweetie, I already 577 00:12:03,630 --> 00:12:05,255 packed your suitcase. 578 00:12:05,338 --> 00:12:07,546 Ugh, there's gonna be 579 00:12:05,338 --> 00:12:07,546 too many shoes. 580 00:12:07,630 --> 00:12:09,338 When did we decide that Lily 581 00:12:07,630 --> 00:12:09,338 could go to Disneyland? 582 00:12:09,421 --> 00:12:11,296 I thought we were gonna 583 00:12:09,421 --> 00:12:11,296 talk about this. 584 00:12:11,380 --> 00:12:12,463 She's missing 585 00:12:11,380 --> 00:12:12,463 one day of school. 586 00:12:12,546 --> 00:12:14,171 I missed half of the fifth grade 587 00:12:12,546 --> 00:12:14,171 because of a pig bite, 588 00:12:14,255 --> 00:12:16,171 and I'm just as educated 589 00:12:14,255 --> 00:12:16,171 as anyone else. 590 00:12:16,255 --> 00:12:19,005 Really? When we met, you thought 591 00:12:16,255 --> 00:12:19,005 you grew up in Central America. 592 00:12:19,088 --> 00:12:21,505 Missouri is in 593 00:12:19,088 --> 00:12:21,505 the center of America. 594 00:12:21,588 --> 00:12:24,005 Okay. You also thought 595 00:12:21,588 --> 00:12:24,005 that the cavemen killed 596 00:12:21,588 --> 00:12:24,005 all the dinosaurs. 597 00:12:24,088 --> 00:12:26,046 Were you there? 598 00:12:24,088 --> 00:12:26,046 Okay, t-the point is, 599 00:12:26,130 --> 00:12:28,171 we should be making 600 00:12:26,130 --> 00:12:28,171 these decisions together. 601 00:12:28,255 --> 00:12:29,755 Is this the one 602 00:12:28,255 --> 00:12:29,755 you wanted? 603 00:12:29,838 --> 00:12:31,671 Yes. 604 00:12:29,838 --> 00:12:31,671 What's that doing 605 00:12:29,838 --> 00:12:31,671 back in here? 606 00:12:31,755 --> 00:12:34,505 I just wanted to revisit 607 00:12:31,755 --> 00:12:34,505 the original paint color. 608 00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:36,171 Oh, okay. 609 00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:37,338 Asserting. 610 00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:37,338 Good. 611 00:12:37,421 --> 00:12:39,171 Asserting. 612 00:12:43,380 --> 00:12:44,588 Okay. 613 00:12:44,671 --> 00:12:46,505 Can I talk to you 614 00:12:44,671 --> 00:12:46,505 for a second? 615 00:12:46,588 --> 00:12:49,046 Uh, what's up with the 616 00:12:46,588 --> 00:12:49,046 whispering and the laughing? 617 00:12:49,130 --> 00:12:50,171 He just made a joke. 618 00:12:50,255 --> 00:12:51,213 At my expense? 619 00:12:51,296 --> 00:12:53,088 No, it was about 620 00:12:51,296 --> 00:12:53,088 his wife's cooking, 621 00:12:53,171 --> 00:12:55,463 which can't be as stale 622 00:12:53,171 --> 00:12:55,463 as his material. 623 00:12:55,546 --> 00:12:56,546 What's this about? 624 00:12:56,630 --> 00:12:58,088 You undermined me 625 00:12:56,630 --> 00:12:58,088 with Lily, 626 00:12:58,171 --> 00:13:00,671 and now I'm worried that 627 00:12:58,171 --> 00:13:00,671 you're doing the same 628 00:12:58,171 --> 00:13:00,671 thing with Francisco. 629 00:13:00,755 --> 00:13:03,213 Mitchell, we are on 630 00:13:00,755 --> 00:13:03,213 the same team here. 631 00:13:03,296 --> 00:13:04,671 We both want 632 00:13:03,296 --> 00:13:04,671 a beautiful kitchen, 633 00:13:04,755 --> 00:13:08,046 and we both want it done 634 00:13:04,755 --> 00:13:08,046 as soon as possible. 635 00:13:04,755 --> 00:13:08,046 Yes. 636 00:13:08,130 --> 00:13:09,755 Stop working! 637 00:13:09,838 --> 00:13:11,630 Drills down! Drills down! 638 00:13:09,838 --> 00:13:11,630 I want you so bad. 639 00:13:11,713 --> 00:13:14,421 If only I could reach out 640 00:13:11,713 --> 00:13:14,421 and touch you. 641 00:13:14,505 --> 00:13:15,921 Enough 642 00:13:14,505 --> 00:13:15,921 with the eavesdropping. 643 00:13:16,005 --> 00:13:17,296 Come on. 644 00:13:16,005 --> 00:13:17,296 Yeah. You know what? 645 00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:18,921 If that little train wreck's 646 00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:18,921 getting back together with Bo, 647 00:13:19,005 --> 00:13:20,338 I need to deal 648 00:13:19,005 --> 00:13:20,338 with this directly. 649 00:13:20,421 --> 00:13:21,963 No, you have to stay here ... 650 00:13:20,421 --> 00:13:21,963 Ugh. 651 00:13:24,171 --> 00:13:25,713 Pameron Jessica Tucker, 652 00:13:24,171 --> 00:13:25,713 listen to me. 653 00:13:25,796 --> 00:13:28,546 You need to stop those 654 00:13:25,796 --> 00:13:28,546 dirty jailbird phone calls 655 00:13:25,796 --> 00:13:28,546 right this second with Bo, 656 00:13:28,630 --> 00:13:29,838 or I am ... 657 00:13:28,630 --> 00:13:29,838 Oh, my God! 658 00:13:29,921 --> 00:13:32,338 You've been listening in 659 00:13:29,921 --> 00:13:32,338 on my private conversation? 660 00:13:32,421 --> 00:13:33,880 You should be ashamed 661 00:13:32,421 --> 00:13:33,880 of yourself. 662 00:13:33,963 --> 00:13:35,588 Talking like a girl 663 00:13:33,963 --> 00:13:35,588 from Cricketsville ... 664 00:13:35,671 --> 00:13:37,213 you were raised 665 00:13:35,671 --> 00:13:37,213 better than that. 666 00:13:37,296 --> 00:13:39,421 You stay the hell 667 00:13:37,296 --> 00:13:39,421 out of my business. 668 00:13:39,505 --> 00:13:42,130 And stop looking down your nose 669 00:13:39,505 --> 00:13:42,130 at Cricketsville. 670 00:13:42,213 --> 00:13:45,005 They got a Target now with 671 00:13:42,213 --> 00:13:45,005 a Banksy on the side of it. 672 00:13:45,088 --> 00:13:49,130 Yeah, right. I'm sure Banksy 673 00:13:45,088 --> 00:13:49,130 drove to Cricketsville 674 00:13:45,088 --> 00:13:49,130 and painted on the s... 675 00:13:49,213 --> 00:13:50,630 Oh, you mean the ATM. 676 00:13:50,713 --> 00:13:53,671 Well, what the hell else 677 00:13:50,713 --> 00:13:53,671 would I be talking about? 678 00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:57,796 Hi, my name 679 00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:57,796 is Cameron Tucker, 680 00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:00,671 and I would like to speak 681 00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:00,671 to one of your inmates. 682 00:14:00,755 --> 00:14:03,880 His name is Bo Johnson. 683 00:14:03,963 --> 00:14:05,588 Sally Mae Jenkins? 684 00:14:05,671 --> 00:14:08,255 Oh, of course 685 00:14:05,671 --> 00:14:08,255 I remember you! 686 00:14:08,338 --> 00:14:09,588 Oh, wait, but ... 687 00:14:09,671 --> 00:14:11,421 I'm not surprised you're 688 00:14:09,671 --> 00:14:11,421 answering phones at a prison. 689 00:14:11,505 --> 00:14:14,088 You always had the prettiest 690 00:14:11,505 --> 00:14:14,088 voice in Central America. 691 00:14:17,046 --> 00:14:20,171 You called Bo, you ginormous 692 00:14:17,046 --> 00:14:20,171 mountain of stupid? 693 00:14:20,255 --> 00:14:21,380 Yeah, that's right, 694 00:14:20,255 --> 00:14:21,380 I did. 695 00:14:21,463 --> 00:14:23,130 And I told him you were getting 696 00:14:21,463 --> 00:14:23,130 your life together here 697 00:14:23,213 --> 00:14:25,005 with your baby 698 00:14:23,213 --> 00:14:25,005 and he needed to back off. 699 00:14:25,088 --> 00:14:26,963 He didn't even know 700 00:14:25,088 --> 00:14:26,963 I had his baby. 701 00:14:27,046 --> 00:14:28,213 What? 702 00:14:27,046 --> 00:14:28,213 Now he knows where I am. 703 00:14:28,296 --> 00:14:30,838 He's gonna come looking for me 704 00:14:28,296 --> 00:14:30,838 when he gets out! 705 00:14:30,921 --> 00:14:34,046 You ruined everything, 706 00:14:30,921 --> 00:14:34,046 you giant, horse-faced dummy. 707 00:14:34,130 --> 00:14:35,796 I'm not sure why every insult 708 00:14:34,130 --> 00:14:35,796 needs a size component. 709 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:36,838 Look, I'm really sorry. 710 00:14:36,921 --> 00:14:39,130 I had no idea that wasn't Bo 711 00:14:36,921 --> 00:14:39,130 on the phone. 712 00:14:39,213 --> 00:14:42,213 Who else would you be so... 713 00:14:39,213 --> 00:14:42,213 intimate with? 714 00:14:42,296 --> 00:14:44,880 Anybody who can pay three bucks 715 00:14:42,296 --> 00:14:44,880 a minute for nasty talk. 716 00:14:44,963 --> 00:14:47,880 Okay, you're 717 00:14:44,963 --> 00:14:47,880 a phone-sex operator? 718 00:14:47,963 --> 00:14:50,380 My real-person modeling gigs 719 00:14:47,963 --> 00:14:50,380 haven't been paying the bills. 720 00:14:50,463 --> 00:14:53,005 And I needed a job where I could 721 00:14:50,463 --> 00:14:53,005 stay at home with the baby. 722 00:14:53,088 --> 00:14:54,296 I didn't even know 723 00:14:53,088 --> 00:14:54,296 that still existed. 724 00:14:54,380 --> 00:14:56,255 Like, I thought it was all apps 725 00:14:54,380 --> 00:14:56,255 and the Internet now. 726 00:14:56,338 --> 00:14:59,755 Not everyone leads your 727 00:14:56,338 --> 00:14:59,755 coastal-elite lifestyle, Cam. 728 00:14:59,838 --> 00:15:03,296 There's a whole country full of 729 00:14:59,838 --> 00:15:03,296 decent, hardworking Americans 730 00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:05,921 who still want to torque 731 00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:05,921 their doolies on the phone, 732 00:15:06,005 --> 00:15:08,088 you gargantuan snob! 733 00:15:08,171 --> 00:15:09,380 Just could've said "snob." 734 00:15:16,421 --> 00:15:19,255 Oh, get over yourself. 735 00:15:16,421 --> 00:15:19,255 I'm drawing the tree. 736 00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:23,171 Jay? 737 00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:23,171 I tried to call you. 738 00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:24,171 Where's your phone? 739 00:15:24,255 --> 00:15:25,380 It's in my room. 740 00:15:25,463 --> 00:15:27,005 I'm in a creative space 741 00:15:25,463 --> 00:15:27,005 right now. 742 00:15:27,088 --> 00:15:28,671 She's cute. 743 00:15:31,255 --> 00:15:33,171 I'm going through a little 744 00:15:31,255 --> 00:15:33,171 something with your mom. 745 00:15:33,255 --> 00:15:34,463 I need your take on it. 746 00:15:34,546 --> 00:15:36,588 Hm. I'm excited to see 747 00:15:34,546 --> 00:15:36,588 what boundaries we cross here. 748 00:15:36,671 --> 00:15:38,171 She had a little 749 00:15:36,671 --> 00:15:38,171 fender bender. 750 00:15:38,255 --> 00:15:39,463 I've got her 751 00:15:38,255 --> 00:15:39,463 dead to rights ... 752 00:15:39,546 --> 00:15:41,005 And she won't admit it. 753 00:15:39,546 --> 00:15:41,005 Yes. 754 00:15:41,088 --> 00:15:42,380 She never admits 755 00:15:41,088 --> 00:15:42,380 when she's wrong. 756 00:15:42,463 --> 00:15:44,838 Thank you. I was beginning 757 00:15:42,463 --> 00:15:44,838 to think I was the crazy one. 758 00:15:44,921 --> 00:15:46,255 Yeah, she'll 759 00:15:44,921 --> 00:15:46,255 do that to you. 760 00:15:46,338 --> 00:15:47,921 I got IBS when she refused 761 00:15:46,338 --> 00:15:47,921 to admit 762 00:15:48,005 --> 00:15:49,921 that she threw out 763 00:15:48,005 --> 00:15:49,921 my collection of Playbills. 764 00:15:50,005 --> 00:15:52,963 I'm gonna pretend you said "the 765 00:15:50,005 --> 00:15:52,963 flu" and Playboys and move on. 766 00:15:54,463 --> 00:15:56,171 Eh... 767 00:15:56,255 --> 00:15:58,380 I guess I... 768 00:15:56,255 --> 00:15:58,380 miss you being around 769 00:15:58,463 --> 00:16:01,130 to share that eye roll 770 00:15:58,463 --> 00:16:01,130 when she gets kooky. 771 00:16:01,213 --> 00:16:02,796 I always thought you were 772 00:16:01,213 --> 00:16:02,796 rolling your eyes at me. 773 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:04,713 Well, that, too. 774 00:16:04,796 --> 00:16:06,338 At least she's 775 00:16:04,796 --> 00:16:06,338 worth it, right? 776 00:16:06,421 --> 00:16:08,921 Definitely. 777 00:16:09,005 --> 00:16:11,088 So, did she ever cop 778 00:16:09,005 --> 00:16:11,088 to the Playbills? 779 00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:12,380 You know what? 780 00:16:12,463 --> 00:16:15,046 Yeah, eventually, but only 781 00:16:12,463 --> 00:16:15,046 because she did something worse. 782 00:16:15,130 --> 00:16:16,838 Wow. 783 00:16:15,130 --> 00:16:16,838 It's actually a good thing. 784 00:16:16,921 --> 00:16:18,505 As long as she's 785 00:16:16,921 --> 00:16:18,505 denying the accident, 786 00:16:18,588 --> 00:16:20,463 you know that's 787 00:16:18,588 --> 00:16:20,463 the worst thing she's done. 788 00:16:20,546 --> 00:16:22,713 Thanks, kiddo. 789 00:16:22,796 --> 00:16:24,963 Hey, while you're here, I 790 00:16:22,796 --> 00:16:24,963 wouldn't mind picking your brain 791 00:16:25,046 --> 00:16:26,421 about a little problem 792 00:16:25,046 --> 00:16:26,421 I'm having ... 793 00:16:26,505 --> 00:16:27,921 well, 794 00:16:26,505 --> 00:16:27,921 one of my characters. 795 00:16:28,005 --> 00:16:29,546 He finds himself 796 00:16:28,005 --> 00:16:29,546 at a crossroads ... 797 00:16:29,630 --> 00:16:31,546 Let's keep this special. 798 00:16:34,505 --> 00:16:36,171 Gloria, 799 00:16:34,505 --> 00:16:36,171 I've been thinking. 800 00:16:36,255 --> 00:16:38,630 That whole accident thing? 801 00:16:36,255 --> 00:16:38,630 I'm dropping it. 802 00:16:38,713 --> 00:16:40,421 You say it didn't happen, 803 00:16:38,713 --> 00:16:40,421 it didn't happen. 804 00:16:40,505 --> 00:16:41,463 It happened. 805 00:16:41,546 --> 00:16:42,463 What, are you 806 00:16:41,546 --> 00:16:42,463 admitting it? 807 00:16:42,546 --> 00:16:45,630 Yes. The accident ... 808 00:16:42,546 --> 00:16:45,630 it was my fault. 809 00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:47,463 Please forgive me, 810 00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:47,463 mi amor. 811 00:16:47,546 --> 00:16:49,838 Uh-oh. 812 00:16:49,921 --> 00:16:51,005 Where's Stella? 813 00:16:51,088 --> 00:16:52,838 - And, Francisco... 814 00:16:51,088 --> 00:16:52,838 - Yeah, Boss? 815 00:16:52,921 --> 00:16:54,505 I guess we should take 816 00:16:52,921 --> 00:16:54,505 another look 817 00:16:54,588 --> 00:16:56,296 at this cabinet color Mitchell 818 00:16:54,588 --> 00:16:56,296 revived from the dead. 819 00:16:56,380 --> 00:16:59,171 To be fair, let's look at it 820 00:16:56,380 --> 00:16:59,171 in the kitchen light. 821 00:16:59,255 --> 00:17:01,213 So, imagine 822 00:16:59,255 --> 00:17:01,213 I'm entertaining. 823 00:17:01,296 --> 00:17:03,921 I'm cooking. I'm throwing out 824 00:17:01,296 --> 00:17:03,921 delightful quips to my guests. 825 00:17:04,005 --> 00:17:04,963 Be honest ... 826 00:17:04,005 --> 00:17:04,963 does it wash me out? 827 00:17:05,046 --> 00:17:06,046 It washes me out. 828 00:17:06,130 --> 00:17:07,255 These are the kind 829 00:17:06,130 --> 00:17:07,255 of conversations 830 00:17:07,338 --> 00:17:08,921 I snuck under 831 00:17:07,338 --> 00:17:08,921 the fence for? 832 00:17:09,005 --> 00:17:10,005 Hm? 833 00:17:09,005 --> 00:17:10,005 Is that funny? 834 00:17:10,088 --> 00:17:11,380 Oh. 835 00:17:10,088 --> 00:17:11,380 It's in my act. 836 00:17:11,463 --> 00:17:12,796 It's... 837 00:17:11,463 --> 00:17:12,796 I also do this bit, though, 838 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:14,921 where I go to a lumberyard and 839 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:14,921 I meet this hot girl and ... 840 00:17:15,005 --> 00:17:16,255 Okay. I'm gonna stop you 841 00:17:15,005 --> 00:17:16,255 right there. 842 00:17:16,338 --> 00:17:18,463 If the punch line has anything 843 00:17:16,338 --> 00:17:18,463 to do with wood, 844 00:17:18,546 --> 00:17:19,796 you're better than that. 845 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,171 Yes, I chose to be 846 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,171 entombed in a wall 847 00:17:22,255 --> 00:17:25,463 rather than admit to Cam 848 00:17:22,255 --> 00:17:25,463 that I was eavesdropping. 849 00:17:25,546 --> 00:17:26,880 And, yes, I realize 850 00:17:25,546 --> 00:17:26,880 couple's counseling 851 00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,171 should be back on the table. 852 00:17:28,255 --> 00:17:29,921 This color 853 00:17:28,255 --> 00:17:29,921 Mitchell wants... 854 00:17:30,005 --> 00:17:31,380 You don't seem 855 00:17:30,005 --> 00:17:31,380 to like it. 856 00:17:31,463 --> 00:17:35,421 I don't love it. But he does, 857 00:17:31,463 --> 00:17:35,421 and let's just go with it, 858 00:17:35,505 --> 00:17:37,463 'cause it ... 859 00:17:35,505 --> 00:17:37,463 I want to make him happy. 860 00:17:37,546 --> 00:17:39,255 Wow. My wife 861 00:17:37,546 --> 00:17:39,255 wouldn't even ask me. 862 00:17:39,338 --> 00:17:40,921 You're very nice. 863 00:17:39,338 --> 00:17:40,921 He's lucky to have you. 864 00:17:41,005 --> 00:17:42,505 I'm the lucky one, 865 00:17:41,005 --> 00:17:42,505 trust me. 866 00:17:42,588 --> 00:17:45,213 You know, we start every morning 867 00:17:42,588 --> 00:17:45,213 off in this kitchen, and I ... 868 00:17:45,296 --> 00:17:47,921 I want us both to walk in here 869 00:17:45,296 --> 00:17:47,921 and see something we each love. 870 00:17:48,005 --> 00:17:51,838 I do! 871 00:17:48,005 --> 00:17:51,838 I-I do see something I love! 872 00:17:51,921 --> 00:17:53,088 And it's you. 873 00:17:53,171 --> 00:17:54,255 Mitchell! 874 00:17:53,171 --> 00:17:54,255 Oh. 875 00:17:54,338 --> 00:17:55,963 What in the he... 876 00:17:56,046 --> 00:17:57,296 You were eavesdropping. 877 00:17:57,380 --> 00:17:59,546 I'm sorry. 878 00:17:57,380 --> 00:17:59,546 I-I stand by what I said. 879 00:17:59,630 --> 00:18:01,213 Eavesdropping is wrong. 880 00:18:01,296 --> 00:18:04,088 I-I should have just asked, 881 00:18:01,296 --> 00:18:04,088 uh, Francisco myself. 882 00:18:04,171 --> 00:18:07,130 W-Why is it you call him 883 00:18:04,171 --> 00:18:07,130 "Boss" and me "Mitch"? 884 00:18:07,213 --> 00:18:08,630 Oh, uh, uh... 885 00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:10,546 It's okay. You can tell me. 886 00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:10,546 I-I can take it. 887 00:18:10,630 --> 00:18:12,630 Well, uh, I can't remember 888 00:18:10,630 --> 00:18:12,630 his name. 889 00:18:12,713 --> 00:18:14,421 What? 890 00:18:12,713 --> 00:18:14,421 Really? 891 00:18:14,505 --> 00:18:16,130 You know, I keep 892 00:18:14,505 --> 00:18:16,130 wanting to say "Krang," 893 00:18:16,213 --> 00:18:17,630 but I know that 894 00:18:16,213 --> 00:18:17,630 that's not right. 895 00:18:17,713 --> 00:18:18,671 Unless it is? 896 00:18:18,755 --> 00:18:20,130 It's Cam. 897 00:18:18,755 --> 00:18:20,130 It's Cam. 898 00:18:20,213 --> 00:18:23,255 Okay. We have spent every day 899 00:18:20,213 --> 00:18:23,255 together, Francisco. 900 00:18:23,338 --> 00:18:24,546 I'm a little offended. 901 00:18:24,630 --> 00:18:26,421 Oh. Well, if it makes you 902 00:18:24,630 --> 00:18:26,421 feel any better, 903 00:18:26,505 --> 00:18:28,505 my name's 904 00:18:26,505 --> 00:18:28,505 actually Fernando. 905 00:18:28,588 --> 00:18:30,171 Oh. 906 00:18:28,588 --> 00:18:30,171 It does help. 907 00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:34,255 Ah! 908 00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:34,255 There she is. 909 00:18:34,338 --> 00:18:35,255 Haley! 910 00:18:35,338 --> 00:18:36,838 Haley! 911 00:18:36,921 --> 00:18:38,755 - Haley! 912 00:18:36,921 --> 00:18:38,755 - Oh, my God! 913 00:18:38,838 --> 00:18:40,213 What is going on? 914 00:18:40,296 --> 00:18:42,546 Damn it! 915 00:18:40,296 --> 00:18:42,546 We need those keys! 916 00:18:42,630 --> 00:18:44,046 Got to get to the concert 917 00:18:42,630 --> 00:18:44,046 before the roadies 918 00:18:44,130 --> 00:18:46,338 pick all the hot chicks 919 00:18:44,130 --> 00:18:46,338 that get to party backstage. 920 00:18:46,421 --> 00:18:47,713 I'm confused. 921 00:18:47,796 --> 00:18:50,880 Even back in the day, 922 00:18:47,796 --> 00:18:50,880 they weren't exactly ... 923 00:18:47,796 --> 00:18:50,880 Haley! 924 00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:53,296 You know what? 925 00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:53,296 I'll go get them. 926 00:18:53,380 --> 00:18:54,546 No. No. 927 00:18:53,380 --> 00:18:54,546 You can't. 928 00:18:54,630 --> 00:18:56,713 Um, not today. 929 00:18:56,796 --> 00:18:58,130 You believe in the curse, 930 00:18:56,796 --> 00:18:58,130 don't you? 931 00:18:58,213 --> 00:18:59,546 I don't understand it. 932 00:18:59,630 --> 00:19:01,505 Bad things have been happening 933 00:18:59,630 --> 00:19:01,505 to you all day. 934 00:19:01,588 --> 00:19:02,671 Maybe... 935 00:19:02,755 --> 00:19:03,713 Maybe it's the underwear. 936 00:19:03,796 --> 00:19:05,505 I just ... 937 00:19:03,796 --> 00:19:05,505 I can't take a chance. 938 00:19:05,588 --> 00:19:07,380 You stay here. 939 00:19:05,588 --> 00:19:07,380 No, no, no, no, no. 940 00:19:07,463 --> 00:19:09,630 You getting hurt 941 00:19:07,463 --> 00:19:09,630 is the worst possible thing 942 00:19:09,713 --> 00:19:11,463 that could happen 943 00:19:09,713 --> 00:19:11,463 to me. 944 00:19:11,546 --> 00:19:13,171 Tell the kids 945 00:19:11,546 --> 00:19:13,171 I love them. 946 00:19:13,255 --> 00:19:14,296 Oh, honey. 947 00:19:14,380 --> 00:19:15,838 Are you, uh ... 948 00:19:14,380 --> 00:19:15,838 Are you not wearing a bra? 949 00:19:15,921 --> 00:19:17,338 Eh. 950 00:19:15,921 --> 00:19:17,338 Oh. 951 00:19:17,421 --> 00:19:18,671 All right, be safe. 952 00:19:23,046 --> 00:19:25,338 Oh, my God. 953 00:19:25,421 --> 00:19:26,671 That's Dunphy. 954 00:19:26,755 --> 00:19:28,463 50 bucks to the first guy 955 00:19:26,755 --> 00:19:28,463 who hits him, huh? 956 00:19:28,546 --> 00:19:29,671 Go. 957 00:19:31,421 --> 00:19:32,546 Haley! 958 00:19:33,838 --> 00:19:35,838 Oh, Dad? 959 00:19:35,921 --> 00:19:37,671 Okay, listen. 960 00:19:37,755 --> 00:19:39,755 I lost my car keys. 961 00:19:37,755 --> 00:19:39,755 I need the spare set. 962 00:19:39,838 --> 00:19:41,963 I know that makes me 963 00:19:39,838 --> 00:19:41,963 a hypocrite. 964 00:19:42,046 --> 00:19:44,171 But you have every right 965 00:19:42,046 --> 00:19:44,171 to be angry with me. 966 00:19:44,255 --> 00:19:45,796 How could I be angry 967 00:19:44,255 --> 00:19:45,796 when there's so much 968 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:47,755 to be grateful for? 969 00:19:47,838 --> 00:19:49,338 Is that a ... a book? 970 00:19:49,421 --> 00:19:52,588 I never would have 971 00:19:49,421 --> 00:19:52,588 picked it up if you had 972 00:19:49,421 --> 00:19:52,588 bought me a new phone. 973 00:19:52,671 --> 00:19:55,921 You've gotten a little gray. 974 00:19:52,671 --> 00:19:55,921 I like it. 975 00:19:58,463 --> 00:20:00,088 Honey... the keys? 976 00:20:00,171 --> 00:20:02,671 Sorry. I was distracted 977 00:20:00,171 --> 00:20:02,671 by those bumblebees. 978 00:20:02,755 --> 00:20:05,713 Shh, listen ... They're 979 00:20:02,755 --> 00:20:05,713 talking to each other. 980 00:20:10,546 --> 00:20:11,546 Hm. 981 00:20:13,505 --> 00:20:14,505 Huh. 982 00:20:16,588 --> 00:20:17,963 - Ow! 983 00:20:16,588 --> 00:20:17,963 - Yeah! 984 00:20:19,255 --> 00:20:20,838 Is that freakin' Gil? 985 00:20:20,921 --> 00:20:23,421 Yes! 986 00:20:20,921 --> 00:20:23,421 Yes, yes, yes! 987 00:20:23,505 --> 00:20:26,005 Well, that could happen 988 00:20:23,505 --> 00:20:26,005 any day. 989 00:20:29,046 --> 00:20:30,921 He's still moving! 990 00:20:29,046 --> 00:20:30,921 Machine-gun him! 991 00:20:31,005 --> 00:20:32,213 Just hit as fast 992 00:20:31,005 --> 00:20:32,213 as you can! 993 00:20:32,296 --> 00:20:35,505 Dear God! 994 00:20:32,296 --> 00:20:35,505 He's got me dialed in! 995 00:20:38,921 --> 00:20:41,838 Oh, morning, guys. 996 00:20:38,921 --> 00:20:41,838 You missed a beautiful sunrise. 997 00:20:41,921 --> 00:20:44,505 You know, living without a phone 998 00:20:41,921 --> 00:20:44,505 these past few days 999 00:20:44,588 --> 00:20:46,255 has been such a gift. 1000 00:20:46,338 --> 00:20:49,380 Colors are brighter. 1001 00:20:46,338 --> 00:20:49,380 Tastes are tastier. 1002 00:20:49,463 --> 00:20:51,046 Have you ever eaten a peach? 1003 00:20:51,130 --> 00:20:53,380 I mean, really eaten a peach? 1004 00:20:53,463 --> 00:20:55,463 Well, most of this 1005 00:20:53,463 --> 00:20:55,463 is in my short story. 1006 00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:57,005 The best part, though, has been 1007 00:20:57,046 --> 00:20:58,421 really getting to know you two. 1008 00:20:58,505 --> 00:21:00,505 Dad, you are so funny. 1009 00:21:00,588 --> 00:21:02,296 And you have such kind eyes. 1010 00:21:02,380 --> 00:21:03,338 And, Mom ... 1011 00:21:03,421 --> 00:21:05,505 president of a closet company? 1012 00:21:05,588 --> 00:21:08,130 Way to go! 1013 00:21:08,213 --> 00:21:10,380 I guess that's why it makes it 1014 00:21:08,213 --> 00:21:10,380 so hard to say goodbye. 1015 00:21:12,338 --> 00:21:14,338 Came in this morning. 1016 00:21:12,338 --> 00:21:14,338 Luke set it up for me. 1017 00:21:14,421 --> 00:21:16,588 He really shot up, huh? 1018 00:21:16,671 --> 00:21:19,171 Anyway, in the weeks to come, 1019 00:21:19,255 --> 00:21:21,213 try and remember that, uh... 1020 00:21:21,296 --> 00:21:24,505 Wh... That skank ... No way! 1021 00:21:29,421 --> 00:21:32,213 Captions by VITAC :