1 00:00:01,296 --> 00:00:02,546 Hey, Phil. 2 00:00:02,630 --> 00:00:04,296 Jay, where are you? 3 00:00:02,630 --> 00:00:04,296 What are you doing? 4 00:00:04,380 --> 00:00:05,546 I'm just walking 5 00:00:04,380 --> 00:00:05,546 into my house. 6 00:00:05,630 --> 00:00:07,546 Stop! Don't you take 7 00:00:05,630 --> 00:00:07,546 another step! 8 00:00:07,630 --> 00:00:09,046 What the hell are you 9 00:00:07,630 --> 00:00:09,046 talking about? 10 00:00:09,130 --> 00:00:10,838 Claire just told me your 11 00:00:09,130 --> 00:00:10,838 Valentine's plans for Gloria. 12 00:00:10,921 --> 00:00:12,671 You're walking 13 00:00:10,921 --> 00:00:12,671 into a buzz saw! 14 00:00:15,921 --> 00:00:17,171 Get in. 15 00:00:20,588 --> 00:00:22,046 What am I looking 16 00:00:20,588 --> 00:00:22,046 at here? 17 00:00:22,130 --> 00:00:23,588 Nothing. 18 00:00:22,130 --> 00:00:23,588 Oh, it's a role-playing thing 19 00:00:22,130 --> 00:00:23,588 we do on Valentine's. 20 00:00:23,671 --> 00:00:25,880 It bumps the lovemaking up 21 00:00:23,671 --> 00:00:25,880 a notch. 22 00:00:23,671 --> 00:00:25,880 Phil, why? 23 00:00:25,963 --> 00:00:27,421 Gloria is mad at you. 24 00:00:27,505 --> 00:00:28,921 If you walk in there 25 00:00:27,505 --> 00:00:28,921 with some lame gift, 26 00:00:29,005 --> 00:00:31,171 she will bite your head 27 00:00:29,005 --> 00:00:31,171 right off, mister. 28 00:00:31,255 --> 00:00:32,255 Well, you worried 29 00:00:31,255 --> 00:00:32,255 for nothing. 30 00:00:32,338 --> 00:00:33,588 I bought her 31 00:00:32,338 --> 00:00:33,588 a nice cookie, 32 00:00:33,671 --> 00:00:36,255 and the biggest Mylar balloon 33 00:00:33,671 --> 00:00:36,255 they sold at the grocery store. 34 00:00:36,338 --> 00:00:38,171 Wake up, man! 35 00:00:36,338 --> 00:00:38,171 You're losing her! 36 00:00:38,255 --> 00:00:39,588 When did you talk 37 00:00:38,255 --> 00:00:39,588 to Gloria? 38 00:00:39,671 --> 00:00:41,005 This afternoon. 39 00:00:41,088 --> 00:00:43,088 I'm just taking Claire up 40 00:00:41,088 --> 00:00:43,088 to the overlook on Mulholland 41 00:00:43,171 --> 00:00:45,171 for a little old-school 42 00:00:43,171 --> 00:00:45,171 make-out sesh. 43 00:00:45,255 --> 00:00:46,713 Oh, Phil. 44 00:00:46,796 --> 00:00:48,796 You're so good 45 00:00:46,796 --> 00:00:48,796 at Valentine things... 46 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:52,296 unlike some ungrateful, 47 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:52,296 selfish men 48 00:00:52,380 --> 00:00:56,213 that don't 49 00:00:52,380 --> 00:00:56,213 appreciate women! 50 00:00:56,296 --> 00:00:57,630 You need to step it up 51 00:00:56,296 --> 00:00:57,630 tonight. 52 00:00:57,713 --> 00:00:58,630 How? 53 00:00:58,713 --> 00:01:00,546 By dressing up in costumes 54 00:00:58,713 --> 00:01:00,546 like weirdos? 55 00:01:00,630 --> 00:01:02,213 It's not weird, Dad. 56 00:01:00,630 --> 00:01:02,213 It's fun. 57 00:01:02,296 --> 00:01:04,380 Yeah. Tonight, 58 00:01:02,296 --> 00:01:04,380 we get to be 17 again, 59 00:01:04,463 --> 00:01:05,755 when we were just 60 00:01:04,463 --> 00:01:05,755 a couple of innocent, 61 00:01:05,838 --> 00:01:08,130 wide-eyed virgins. 62 00:01:08,213 --> 00:01:09,671 Shut up. 63 00:01:09,755 --> 00:01:10,880 I'm not doing it. 64 00:01:10,963 --> 00:01:12,463 Today, when Gloria found out 65 00:01:10,963 --> 00:01:12,463 what we were doing, 66 00:01:12,546 --> 00:01:13,963 she said, 67 00:01:12,546 --> 00:01:13,963 "Damn it, Phil. 68 00:01:14,046 --> 00:01:15,213 You are so good 69 00:01:14,046 --> 00:01:15,213 at Valentine's. 70 00:01:15,296 --> 00:01:17,296 I wish Jay 71 00:01:15,296 --> 00:01:17,296 was as sexy as you." 72 00:01:17,380 --> 00:01:18,296 She never said that. 73 00:01:18,380 --> 00:01:19,296 I'm paraphrasing. 74 00:01:19,380 --> 00:01:20,296 Okay, call Gloria, 75 00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:21,505 tell her to meet you 76 00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:21,505 at a hotel bar, 77 00:01:21,588 --> 00:01:24,505 and then you show up 78 00:01:21,588 --> 00:01:24,505 as some romantic character. 79 00:01:24,588 --> 00:01:25,921 Who would I be? 80 00:01:24,588 --> 00:01:25,921 Anybody. 81 00:01:26,005 --> 00:01:27,838 Think of the most exotic person 82 00:01:26,005 --> 00:01:27,838 you can. 83 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:28,963 General Eisenhower, 84 00:01:29,005 --> 00:01:30,380 the father 85 00:01:29,005 --> 00:01:30,380 of the American freeway. 86 00:01:30,463 --> 00:01:32,921 You're gonna want to think 87 00:01:30,463 --> 00:01:32,921 a little sexier than that. 88 00:01:33,005 --> 00:01:34,963 You have not 89 00:01:33,005 --> 00:01:34,963 seen the right photos. 90 00:01:48,713 --> 00:01:51,088 What are you doing? 91 00:01:48,713 --> 00:01:51,088 I thought he was taking 92 00:01:48,713 --> 00:01:51,088 you out to dinner. 93 00:01:51,171 --> 00:01:53,046 I'm pre-eating 94 00:01:51,171 --> 00:01:53,046 so I don't look like a pig. 95 00:01:53,130 --> 00:01:54,921 Oh, please tell me 96 00:01:53,130 --> 00:01:54,921 you don't eat on dates. 97 00:01:55,005 --> 00:01:56,380 Who's the lucky guy? 98 00:01:56,463 --> 00:01:59,171 Oh, this professor 99 00:01:56,463 --> 00:01:59,171 from Alex's college. 100 00:01:59,255 --> 00:02:01,171 Normally, I wouldn't go out 101 00:01:59,255 --> 00:02:01,171 with a guy like that, 102 00:02:01,255 --> 00:02:03,046 but there's something 103 00:02:01,255 --> 00:02:03,046 about him. 104 00:02:03,130 --> 00:02:05,505 "Something about him"? 105 00:02:03,130 --> 00:02:05,505 He's a genius. 106 00:02:05,588 --> 00:02:07,796 He's one of the most respected 107 00:02:05,588 --> 00:02:07,796 minds on campus, 108 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:09,505 who also happens to look like 109 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:09,505 the protagonist 110 00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:10,671 from a Jane Austen novel. 111 00:02:10,755 --> 00:02:12,755 He's totally 112 00:02:10,755 --> 00:02:12,755 out of your league. 113 00:02:12,838 --> 00:02:14,588 Oh, well, now 114 00:02:12,838 --> 00:02:14,588 you're being crazy. 115 00:02:14,671 --> 00:02:15,838 Are you into him 116 00:02:14,671 --> 00:02:15,838 or something? 117 00:02:15,921 --> 00:02:17,130 No! I'm just 118 00:02:15,921 --> 00:02:17,130 genuinely concerned 119 00:02:17,213 --> 00:02:18,921 you're going to embarrass 120 00:02:17,213 --> 00:02:18,921 yourself or me. 121 00:02:19,005 --> 00:02:21,880 At least look up the difference 122 00:02:19,005 --> 00:02:21,880 between astrology and astronomy. 123 00:02:21,963 --> 00:02:23,088 Okay, alls I know is, 124 00:02:23,171 --> 00:02:25,505 is that you're being 125 00:02:23,171 --> 00:02:25,505 a real Capricorn right now. 126 00:02:25,588 --> 00:02:27,130 The sun revolves 127 00:02:25,588 --> 00:02:27,130 around the Earth, 128 00:02:27,213 --> 00:02:28,213 and not you. 129 00:02:29,088 --> 00:02:31,630 I cannot believe we got 130 00:02:29,088 --> 00:02:31,630 into this restaurant. 131 00:02:31,713 --> 00:02:33,046 I know. 132 00:02:31,713 --> 00:02:33,046 Oh, you know what? 133 00:02:33,130 --> 00:02:34,755 Let's take a picture 134 00:02:33,130 --> 00:02:34,755 and use Facebook the 135 00:02:33,130 --> 00:02:34,755 way it was intended. 136 00:02:34,838 --> 00:02:37,005 Oh, to find out how racist 137 00:02:34,838 --> 00:02:37,005 our high-school friends are? 138 00:02:37,088 --> 00:02:39,963 No, to make people in our lives 139 00:02:37,088 --> 00:02:39,963 feel worse about their lives. 140 00:02:40,046 --> 00:02:41,546 Hey! 141 00:02:41,630 --> 00:02:42,755 Gentlemen. 142 00:02:42,838 --> 00:02:44,463 Your table's being set up 143 00:02:42,838 --> 00:02:44,463 right now. 144 00:02:44,546 --> 00:02:45,880 Okay. 145 00:02:45,963 --> 00:02:47,338 Oh, my G... No. 146 00:02:45,963 --> 00:02:47,338 What? 147 00:02:47,421 --> 00:02:48,796 Th-That's Luke. 148 00:02:47,421 --> 00:02:48,796 No. We ca... 149 00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:50,380 No, we can't sit next to ... 150 00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:50,380 We can't sit there. 151 00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:50,380 I'm s... 152 00:02:50,463 --> 00:02:52,088 Can we have a ... 153 00:02:50,463 --> 00:02:52,088 Can we have a different table? 154 00:02:52,171 --> 00:02:53,463 I'm sorry, not tonight. 155 00:02:52,171 --> 00:02:53,463 Um... 156 00:02:53,546 --> 00:02:56,671 If you guys don't want it, 157 00:02:53,546 --> 00:02:56,671 I have 10 other people who do. 158 00:02:56,755 --> 00:02:58,338 Okay. 159 00:02:56,755 --> 00:02:58,338 You know what? 160 00:02:58,421 --> 00:03:00,088 Tonight was supposed to be 161 00:02:58,421 --> 00:03:00,088 a romantic night. 162 00:03:00,171 --> 00:03:01,380 I-I don't want to watch him 163 00:03:01,463 --> 00:03:04,671 make his sweaty moves 164 00:03:01,463 --> 00:03:04,671 on his conquest of the week. 165 00:03:04,755 --> 00:03:05,588 And some of them buy it. 166 00:03:05,671 --> 00:03:06,630 Under what gas leak is 167 00:03:06,713 --> 00:03:08,546 he finding these 168 00:03:06,713 --> 00:03:08,546 brain-dead bimbos? 169 00:03:08,630 --> 00:03:10,463 And have you heard 170 00:03:08,630 --> 00:03:10,463 how mean he's gotten? 171 00:03:10,546 --> 00:03:11,796 The other day, 172 00:03:10,546 --> 00:03:11,796 he called us "catty." 173 00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:13,088 He called us catty? 174 00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:13,088 Yeah. 175 00:03:13,171 --> 00:03:14,755 You sure he wasn't talking 176 00:03:13,171 --> 00:03:14,755 about the dead cat on his head 177 00:03:14,838 --> 00:03:16,630 he calls a haircut? 178 00:03:14,838 --> 00:03:16,630 Oh, my ... 179 00:03:16,713 --> 00:03:17,796 Hey, guys! 180 00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:19,796 Hi! 181 00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:19,796 Hey, Luke! 182 00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:19,796 What a coincidence. 183 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:22,463 I think it's nice that 184 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:22,463 we're helping out 185 00:03:22,546 --> 00:03:23,671 Dad and Gloria tonight. 186 00:03:23,755 --> 00:03:25,088 I know. I'm just 187 00:03:23,755 --> 00:03:25,088 a little bummed 188 00:03:25,171 --> 00:03:26,588 that we're stuck here, 189 00:03:25,171 --> 00:03:26,588 watching Joe, 190 00:03:26,671 --> 00:03:29,213 when we could be messing around 191 00:03:26,671 --> 00:03:29,213 in a Trans Am. 192 00:03:29,296 --> 00:03:31,005 Or... did we just 193 00:03:31,088 --> 00:03:33,005 take it up 194 00:03:31,088 --> 00:03:33,005 a notch, huh? 195 00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:35,880 I'm the foxy babysitter. 196 00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:35,880 The kid's asleep. 197 00:03:35,963 --> 00:03:37,213 You are the foxy bad boy 198 00:03:37,296 --> 00:03:39,588 who sneaks over 199 00:03:37,296 --> 00:03:39,588 with some wine coolers... 200 00:03:39,671 --> 00:03:41,713 Oh, radical. 201 00:03:41,796 --> 00:03:44,130 Now that I'm six, 202 00:03:41,796 --> 00:03:44,130 I like girls, 203 00:03:44,213 --> 00:03:46,880 but I love two girls ... 204 00:03:46,963 --> 00:03:49,505 The Little Mermaid 205 00:03:46,963 --> 00:03:49,505 and Claire. 206 00:03:51,921 --> 00:03:54,755 Oh. Joe. 207 00:03:51,921 --> 00:03:54,755 W-What are you doing up? 208 00:03:54,838 --> 00:03:57,963 Hello, Claire. 209 00:03:54,838 --> 00:03:57,963 I made this for you. 210 00:03:58,046 --> 00:03:59,130 Oh, my goodness. 211 00:03:59,213 --> 00:04:01,505 Look, 212 00:03:59,213 --> 00:04:01,505 it's a Valentine. 213 00:04:01,588 --> 00:04:03,796 It's two love bugs. 214 00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:05,171 Aww. 215 00:04:05,255 --> 00:04:06,671 Two love bugs. 216 00:04:06,755 --> 00:04:08,296 Three's a crowd. 217 00:04:08,380 --> 00:04:09,338 Hmm. 218 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:16,005 Hey, how can I help you? 219 00:04:16,088 --> 00:04:18,463 I am Gigi DeLaroca, 220 00:04:16,088 --> 00:04:18,463 businesswoman. 221 00:04:18,546 --> 00:04:22,796 Life has tried to break me, 222 00:04:18,546 --> 00:04:22,796 but it has only teach me. 223 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:24,255 So, you want a drink? 224 00:04:24,338 --> 00:04:27,546 The lady will 225 00:04:24,338 --> 00:04:27,546 have Campari and soda. 226 00:04:27,630 --> 00:04:28,838 Hello, sir. 227 00:04:28,921 --> 00:04:30,921 I have never had 228 00:04:28,921 --> 00:04:30,921 that drink. 229 00:04:31,005 --> 00:04:33,546 Well, no one "Camparis" 230 00:04:31,005 --> 00:04:33,546 to you. 231 00:04:33,630 --> 00:04:35,088 Very clever. 232 00:04:35,171 --> 00:04:37,671 I am Gigi DeLaroca, 233 00:04:35,171 --> 00:04:37,671 businesswoman. 234 00:04:37,755 --> 00:04:39,505 I am Raoul Matadoré. 235 00:04:39,588 --> 00:04:41,421 I own this hotel. 236 00:04:39,588 --> 00:04:41,421 May I? 237 00:04:41,505 --> 00:04:42,838 Of course, Mr. Matadoré. 238 00:04:42,921 --> 00:04:44,838 Like Andy Garcia in 239 00:04:42,921 --> 00:04:44,838 "Ocean's Eleven." 240 00:04:44,921 --> 00:04:46,463 I don't think 241 00:04:44,921 --> 00:04:46,463 you have to explain. 242 00:04:46,546 --> 00:04:47,546 Right. Um, you talk. 243 00:04:47,630 --> 00:04:49,005 No, I mean, um... 244 00:04:47,630 --> 00:04:49,005 Thank you. 245 00:04:49,088 --> 00:04:50,838 Tell me about you. 246 00:04:50,921 --> 00:04:52,963 What business are you in? 247 00:04:50,921 --> 00:04:52,963 Bueno. 248 00:04:53,046 --> 00:04:54,338 Well, let's just say, 249 00:04:54,421 --> 00:04:57,005 I'm just a lady that works 250 00:04:54,421 --> 00:04:57,005 in the evening. 251 00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:59,296 But I am not available 252 00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:59,296 to any man. 253 00:04:59,380 --> 00:05:02,130 So charm me, Mr. Matadoré. 254 00:05:02,213 --> 00:05:03,505 This hotel... 255 00:05:03,588 --> 00:05:06,046 has the finest closets 256 00:05:03,588 --> 00:05:06,046 in all the land. 257 00:05:06,130 --> 00:05:09,880 We have lighted rods 258 00:05:06,130 --> 00:05:09,880 and soft-close doors. 259 00:05:09,963 --> 00:05:11,380 I was once married 260 00:05:09,963 --> 00:05:11,380 to a man 261 00:05:11,463 --> 00:05:14,130 that endlessly talked 262 00:05:11,463 --> 00:05:14,130 about closet. 263 00:05:14,213 --> 00:05:16,046 You're boring me 264 00:05:14,213 --> 00:05:16,046 very much. 265 00:05:16,130 --> 00:05:17,630 Okay, well, um... 266 00:05:17,713 --> 00:05:19,255 Um... 267 00:05:19,338 --> 00:05:22,005 I need one secondo, huh? 268 00:05:22,088 --> 00:05:24,796 Hotel businesso, huh? 269 00:05:22,088 --> 00:05:24,796 Bueno. 270 00:05:30,713 --> 00:05:31,671 Oh, my goodness. 271 00:05:31,755 --> 00:05:33,130 The waitress ... 272 00:05:31,755 --> 00:05:33,130 She left a menu here. 273 00:05:33,213 --> 00:05:34,213 Now, I'm wondering 274 00:05:33,213 --> 00:05:34,213 if we should have got ... 275 00:05:34,296 --> 00:05:35,963 Oh, my God! 276 00:05:34,296 --> 00:05:35,963 Where's his date? 277 00:05:36,046 --> 00:05:37,296 Do you think 278 00:05:36,046 --> 00:05:37,296 he got stood up? 279 00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:39,005 Let me see that. 280 00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:39,005 Right here. 281 00:05:39,088 --> 00:05:41,213 It's so embarrassing. 282 00:05:39,088 --> 00:05:41,213 What do we even say? 283 00:05:41,296 --> 00:05:43,005 They're not 284 00:05:41,296 --> 00:05:43,005 soundproof menus. 285 00:05:43,088 --> 00:05:44,505 Yeah. 286 00:05:43,088 --> 00:05:44,505 She's standing me up. 287 00:05:44,588 --> 00:05:45,838 Women are impossible, 288 00:05:44,588 --> 00:05:45,838 you know? 289 00:05:45,921 --> 00:05:46,838 For us, they are. 290 00:05:46,921 --> 00:05:48,838 Well, now, 291 00:05:46,921 --> 00:05:48,838 I made it work once, 292 00:05:48,921 --> 00:05:51,630 although there was a Rob Lowe 293 00:05:48,921 --> 00:05:51,630 poster behind her. 294 00:05:51,713 --> 00:05:53,671 You know what? 295 00:05:51,713 --> 00:05:53,671 I say to heck with this gal. 296 00:05:53,755 --> 00:05:55,880 Mm-hmm. 297 00:05:53,755 --> 00:05:55,880 Get back out there, 298 00:05:53,755 --> 00:05:55,880 go to a bar! 299 00:05:55,963 --> 00:05:57,463 Yes! 300 00:05:55,963 --> 00:05:57,463 I hear that. 301 00:05:57,546 --> 00:06:00,213 A guy like you, 302 00:05:57,546 --> 00:06:00,213 great head of hair... 303 00:05:57,546 --> 00:06:00,213 Yep. 304 00:06:00,296 --> 00:06:01,546 Nah, I'm too depressed. 305 00:06:01,630 --> 00:06:04,338 Besides, I prepaid for my meal. 306 00:06:01,630 --> 00:06:04,338 I guess I'll order. 307 00:06:04,421 --> 00:06:06,088 Just forget I'm here. 308 00:06:06,171 --> 00:06:09,421 Anyway... 309 00:06:06,171 --> 00:06:09,421 happy Valentine's Day. 310 00:06:09,505 --> 00:06:10,921 Thanks. 311 00:06:09,505 --> 00:06:10,921 You look so handsome. 312 00:06:11,005 --> 00:06:13,088 Ugh! This sucks. 313 00:06:16,338 --> 00:06:18,755 I can't believe I let you 314 00:06:16,338 --> 00:06:18,755 talk me into doing this crap. 315 00:06:18,838 --> 00:06:21,046 I need help! 316 00:06:18,838 --> 00:06:21,046 It's okay. 317 00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:23,296 Underneath it all, 318 00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:23,296 it's just you and your wife. 319 00:06:23,380 --> 00:06:24,421 That's the problem. 320 00:06:24,505 --> 00:06:25,880 I don't know how I got her 321 00:06:24,505 --> 00:06:25,880 to begin with. 322 00:06:25,963 --> 00:06:28,088 And I'm starting to feel 323 00:06:25,963 --> 00:06:28,088 if I can't pull this off, 324 00:06:28,171 --> 00:06:30,421 she's gonna figure out 325 00:06:28,171 --> 00:06:30,421 she got duped the first time. 326 00:06:30,505 --> 00:06:31,880 Let me start by saying 327 00:06:30,505 --> 00:06:31,880 "thank you" 328 00:06:31,963 --> 00:06:33,505 for being so vulnerable 329 00:06:31,963 --> 00:06:33,505 with me. 330 00:06:33,588 --> 00:06:34,921 I hate you. 331 00:06:35,005 --> 00:06:36,255 Also, I'm no expert 332 00:06:35,005 --> 00:06:36,255 at this, 333 00:06:36,338 --> 00:06:39,255 but I have a friend 334 00:06:36,338 --> 00:06:39,255 here who is. 335 00:06:39,338 --> 00:06:40,546 Clive Bixby here. 336 00:06:40,630 --> 00:06:42,421 How can I make your night 337 00:06:40,630 --> 00:06:42,421 sexier? 338 00:06:42,505 --> 00:06:44,671 If I can't role-play with her, 339 00:06:42,505 --> 00:06:44,671 I'm not doin' it with you. 340 00:06:44,755 --> 00:06:45,755 Whatevs, Daddio. 341 00:06:45,838 --> 00:06:47,088 I'm gonna give the phone 342 00:06:45,838 --> 00:06:47,088 back to Philip. 343 00:06:47,171 --> 00:06:48,338 Phil here. 344 00:06:48,421 --> 00:06:50,755 Listen, it's all about 345 00:06:48,421 --> 00:06:50,755 commitment and confidence. 346 00:06:50,838 --> 00:06:52,046 What's ... 347 00:06:50,838 --> 00:06:52,046 What's your character? 348 00:06:52,130 --> 00:06:54,796 Raoul Matadoré, hotel owner, 349 00:06:52,130 --> 00:06:54,796 like Andy Garcia ... 350 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:57,296 In "Ocean's Eleven" ... 351 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:57,296 I love this for you! 352 00:06:57,380 --> 00:06:59,421 Did you go 353 00:06:57,380 --> 00:06:59,421 with the timepiece? 354 00:06:59,505 --> 00:07:00,963 Yeah, I thought at some moment, 355 00:06:59,505 --> 00:07:00,963 I'd pull it out, 356 00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:02,380 smash it on the bar, 357 00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:02,380 and say, 358 00:07:02,463 --> 00:07:05,338 "I want to remember the 359 00:07:02,463 --> 00:07:05,338 exact moment I fell in love." 360 00:07:06,505 --> 00:07:07,880 I'm an idiot! 361 00:07:06,505 --> 00:07:07,880 No. 362 00:07:07,963 --> 00:07:10,171 That silence is me picking 363 00:07:07,963 --> 00:07:10,171 my jaw up off the floor. 364 00:07:10,255 --> 00:07:12,255 We're all walking, 365 00:07:10,255 --> 00:07:12,255 and you're flying, mister. 366 00:07:12,338 --> 00:07:13,630 Seriously? 367 00:07:12,338 --> 00:07:13,630 You think so? 368 00:07:13,713 --> 00:07:16,380 1,000%! 369 00:07:13,713 --> 00:07:16,380 But don't take it from me. 370 00:07:16,463 --> 00:07:17,755 Clive again. 371 00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:20,546 Mr. Matadoré, 372 00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:20,546 I tip my turtleneck to ya. 373 00:07:21,671 --> 00:07:22,546 Hello? 374 00:07:22,630 --> 00:07:24,088 All right, no peeking. 375 00:07:24,171 --> 00:07:25,505 Oh, no peeking. 376 00:07:25,588 --> 00:07:27,546 I hope you're not 377 00:07:25,588 --> 00:07:27,546 disappointed. 378 00:07:27,630 --> 00:07:30,671 Wow! 379 00:07:27,630 --> 00:07:30,671 It's so pretty! 380 00:07:30,755 --> 00:07:32,171 You know what else 381 00:07:30,755 --> 00:07:32,171 is pretty? 382 00:07:32,255 --> 00:07:33,838 Oh! Stop. 383 00:07:33,921 --> 00:07:34,838 Oh. 384 00:07:34,921 --> 00:07:36,505 Well, I was going to 385 00:07:34,921 --> 00:07:36,505 say "Venus." 386 00:07:36,588 --> 00:07:39,171 But sure, 387 00:07:36,588 --> 00:07:39,171 let's go with you. 388 00:07:39,255 --> 00:07:40,671 Come on, have a look. 389 00:07:40,755 --> 00:07:43,463 Ooh! 390 00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:45,005 Nope. 391 00:07:45,046 --> 00:07:46,963 Oh! Okay. 392 00:07:45,046 --> 00:07:46,963 Yep. 393 00:07:47,046 --> 00:07:48,296 Wow! 394 00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:50,130 Yeah, there's a new moon, 395 00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:50,130 so it's the perfect night 396 00:07:50,213 --> 00:07:52,380 to observe 397 00:07:50,213 --> 00:07:52,380 faint star clusters. 398 00:07:52,463 --> 00:07:53,630 And ... 399 00:07:52,463 --> 00:07:53,630 And right in the middle, 400 00:07:53,713 --> 00:07:56,338 there's a variable star 401 00:07:53,713 --> 00:07:56,338 that I discovered. 402 00:07:56,421 --> 00:07:58,005 It's right next 403 00:07:56,421 --> 00:07:58,005 to a white dwarf. 404 00:07:58,088 --> 00:07:59,380 Oh, I don't think 405 00:07:58,088 --> 00:07:59,380 you're allowed 406 00:07:59,463 --> 00:08:01,171 to say that anymore. 407 00:08:01,255 --> 00:08:03,130 Yes, tricky times 408 00:08:01,255 --> 00:08:03,130 we live in. 409 00:08:03,213 --> 00:08:04,505 Wow, this is so cool. 410 00:08:04,588 --> 00:08:06,213 Right. Have a ... 411 00:08:04,588 --> 00:08:06,213 Have a think about this ... 412 00:08:06,296 --> 00:08:10,588 There is a theory that suggests 413 00:08:06,296 --> 00:08:10,588 the universe is so large 414 00:08:10,671 --> 00:08:15,255 that everything that can happen 415 00:08:10,671 --> 00:08:15,255 is happening all the time. 416 00:08:15,338 --> 00:08:17,171 Do you smoke weed? 417 00:08:17,255 --> 00:08:18,713 Oh. No. 418 00:08:18,796 --> 00:08:21,171 Sor... Sorry, I'm a little 419 00:08:18,796 --> 00:08:21,171 obsessed with space. 420 00:08:21,255 --> 00:08:23,838 I-I built my first 421 00:08:21,255 --> 00:08:23,838 Dobsonian telescope 422 00:08:23,921 --> 00:08:25,046 when I was 10. 423 00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:27,338 You made a telescope? 424 00:08:27,421 --> 00:08:30,005 The only thing I've ever made 425 00:08:27,421 --> 00:08:30,005 was an ashtray for my mom 426 00:08:30,088 --> 00:08:32,255 that says, 427 00:08:30,088 --> 00:08:32,255 "Rub your butt here." 428 00:08:32,338 --> 00:08:34,088 Oh, like cigarette butt. 429 00:08:34,171 --> 00:08:35,130 Yeah. 430 00:08:35,213 --> 00:08:37,796 What are you doing 431 00:08:35,213 --> 00:08:37,796 next August 27th 432 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:39,671 at, uh, 8:00 p.m.? 433 00:08:39,755 --> 00:08:41,546 I have no idea. 434 00:08:39,755 --> 00:08:41,546 Why? 435 00:08:41,630 --> 00:08:44,588 NASA is giving me an award 436 00:08:41,630 --> 00:08:44,588 for a radiation shield, 437 00:08:44,671 --> 00:08:47,088 and ... 438 00:08:44,671 --> 00:08:47,088 NASA's giving you 439 00:08:44,671 --> 00:08:47,088 an award? 440 00:08:47,171 --> 00:08:48,838 I need a date. 441 00:08:47,171 --> 00:08:48,838 There's no pressure. 442 00:08:48,921 --> 00:08:52,296 But it saved the lives 443 00:08:48,921 --> 00:08:52,296 of a bunch of astronauts. 444 00:08:52,380 --> 00:08:54,338 Wow, you've done a lot. 445 00:08:54,421 --> 00:08:55,755 Well, I'm ... 446 00:08:54,421 --> 00:08:55,755 I'm sure you've had 447 00:08:55,838 --> 00:08:57,880 your share 448 00:08:55,838 --> 00:08:57,880 of accomplishments. 449 00:08:57,963 --> 00:09:00,088 Oh, yeah! 450 00:08:57,963 --> 00:09:00,088 Yeah, of course. 451 00:09:00,171 --> 00:09:02,463 Let's see. 452 00:09:00,171 --> 00:09:02,463 There was, um... 453 00:09:02,546 --> 00:09:04,088 college... 454 00:09:04,171 --> 00:09:05,088 Uh-huh. 455 00:09:05,171 --> 00:09:07,005 Nope. Nope. 456 00:09:05,171 --> 00:09:07,005 That is a ... 457 00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:08,338 That is a bad road. 458 00:09:08,421 --> 00:09:10,213 Well, uh, uh, okay, 459 00:09:08,421 --> 00:09:10,213 so professionally, 460 00:09:10,296 --> 00:09:12,588 I've been kind of sort of 461 00:09:10,296 --> 00:09:12,588 dabbling in, like, 462 00:09:12,671 --> 00:09:13,880 a lot of different ... 463 00:09:12,671 --> 00:09:13,880 Pass. 464 00:09:13,963 --> 00:09:16,671 Um... I-I-I-I once flew 465 00:09:16,755 --> 00:09:18,255 next to the bass player 466 00:09:16,755 --> 00:09:18,255 of The Killers. 467 00:09:18,338 --> 00:09:20,338 Uh, you know, it just kind of 468 00:09:18,338 --> 00:09:20,338 looked like him. 469 00:09:20,421 --> 00:09:21,338 Is there a bathroom? 470 00:09:21,421 --> 00:09:22,380 Here, I'm just gonna 471 00:09:21,421 --> 00:09:22,380 find it myself. 472 00:09:22,463 --> 00:09:23,921 No big deal. I'm fine. 473 00:09:22,463 --> 00:09:23,921 I'm ... I'm great. 474 00:09:24,005 --> 00:09:25,630 I... 475 00:09:27,671 --> 00:09:29,630 So, are you seeing 476 00:09:27,671 --> 00:09:29,630 anybody new? 477 00:09:29,713 --> 00:09:33,171 No, I didn't even make my mom 478 00:09:29,713 --> 00:09:33,171 a Valentine's card this year. 479 00:09:33,255 --> 00:09:34,671 It's alarming that 480 00:09:33,255 --> 00:09:34,671 I asked about dating, 481 00:09:34,755 --> 00:09:36,088 and you went right 482 00:09:34,755 --> 00:09:36,088 to your mother. 483 00:09:38,755 --> 00:09:40,630 Hello? 484 00:09:40,713 --> 00:09:42,796 Alex, 485 00:09:40,713 --> 00:09:42,796 it's Professor Fennerman. 486 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:44,921 I'm sorry to bother you 487 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:44,921 on Valentine's. 488 00:09:45,005 --> 00:09:46,588 Uh, it's okay. Uh... 489 00:09:46,671 --> 00:09:48,255 Have you heard 490 00:09:46,671 --> 00:09:48,255 from Haley? 491 00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:49,421 Isn't she with you? 492 00:09:49,505 --> 00:09:51,755 She was, and... 493 00:09:49,505 --> 00:09:51,755 then she suddenly ran off. 494 00:09:51,838 --> 00:09:53,755 I think ... I think 495 00:09:51,838 --> 00:09:53,755 I may have bored her 496 00:09:53,838 --> 00:09:55,088 to the point of fleeing. 497 00:09:55,171 --> 00:09:56,796 You could never 498 00:09:55,171 --> 00:09:56,796 bore anyone. 499 00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:58,671 You know who's boring? 500 00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:58,671 Professor Schaeffer. 501 00:09:58,755 --> 00:10:00,296 Agreed. 502 00:09:58,755 --> 00:10:00,296 He's insufferable. 503 00:10:00,380 --> 00:10:01,588 He never stops 504 00:10:00,380 --> 00:10:01,588 droning on. 505 00:10:01,671 --> 00:10:04,255 He's like the cosmic 506 00:10:01,671 --> 00:10:04,255 microwave background radiation. 507 00:10:06,546 --> 00:10:09,380 Because he's the constant noise 508 00:10:06,546 --> 00:10:09,380 you can't get rid of! 509 00:10:09,463 --> 00:10:11,213 Thank God somebody 510 00:10:09,463 --> 00:10:11,213 gets me tonight. 511 00:10:12,588 --> 00:10:14,505 You know, I think 512 00:10:12,588 --> 00:10:14,505 it might have been a bad idea, 513 00:10:14,588 --> 00:10:16,171 bringing her 514 00:10:14,588 --> 00:10:16,171 to the observatory. 515 00:10:16,255 --> 00:10:18,338 I probably should have set 516 00:10:16,255 --> 00:10:18,338 my sights on someone 517 00:10:18,421 --> 00:10:20,171 with whom I have 518 00:10:18,421 --> 00:10:20,171 more in common. 519 00:10:20,255 --> 00:10:21,463 Do you know what I mean? 520 00:10:21,546 --> 00:10:23,213 I... think I do. 521 00:10:23,296 --> 00:10:25,005 Anyway, I think I'll wait here 522 00:10:23,296 --> 00:10:25,005 a little longer, 523 00:10:25,088 --> 00:10:28,796 take in the stars, 524 00:10:25,088 --> 00:10:28,796 just in case she shows up. 525 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:30,046 Maybe she will. 526 00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,088 Thanks, Alex. 527 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:34,880 Oh, my God. 528 00:10:34,963 --> 00:10:36,630 What? 529 00:10:34,963 --> 00:10:36,630 Haley blew him off. 530 00:10:36,713 --> 00:10:38,296 I think he wants me to come 531 00:10:36,713 --> 00:10:38,296 to the observatory 532 00:10:38,380 --> 00:10:39,296 to be with him. 533 00:10:39,380 --> 00:10:40,963 You have feelings 534 00:10:39,380 --> 00:10:40,963 for this guy! 535 00:10:41,046 --> 00:10:41,963 Who wouldn't? 536 00:10:42,046 --> 00:10:43,130 I mean, do you know 537 00:10:42,046 --> 00:10:43,130 how hard it is 538 00:10:43,213 --> 00:10:44,588 to find 539 00:10:43,213 --> 00:10:44,588 a good-looking genius? 540 00:10:44,671 --> 00:10:46,921 There's him, and when I put in 541 00:10:44,671 --> 00:10:46,921 a little effort, me! 542 00:10:47,005 --> 00:10:48,671 Then go. 543 00:10:48,755 --> 00:10:50,255 I will. 544 00:10:48,755 --> 00:10:50,255 Yeah, you will. 545 00:10:50,338 --> 00:10:51,755 a-and I'm gonna make 546 00:10:50,338 --> 00:10:51,755 a Valentine for my mom. 547 00:10:51,838 --> 00:10:54,171 They're not the same! 548 00:10:54,255 --> 00:10:55,880 Okay, open ... 549 00:10:54,255 --> 00:10:55,880 open mine first. 550 00:10:55,963 --> 00:10:57,213 Oh. 551 00:10:55,963 --> 00:10:57,213 It's ... It's a kimono. 552 00:10:57,296 --> 00:10:59,671 I took an online 553 00:10:57,296 --> 00:10:59,671 origami class. 554 00:10:59,755 --> 00:11:01,546 Okay. 555 00:10:59,755 --> 00:11:01,546 It's a haiku. 556 00:11:01,630 --> 00:11:03,463 Oh! 557 00:11:01,630 --> 00:11:03,463 "Friend, lover, husband. 558 00:11:03,546 --> 00:11:05,880 My life started 559 00:11:03,546 --> 00:11:05,880 when we met. 560 00:11:05,963 --> 00:11:07,296 You're my everything." 561 00:11:07,380 --> 00:11:08,421 Aww. 562 00:11:07,380 --> 00:11:08,421 You are. 563 00:11:08,505 --> 00:11:10,588 Ooh, let's see what you wrote 564 00:11:08,505 --> 00:11:10,588 in yours. 565 00:11:10,671 --> 00:11:12,630 Aww. 566 00:11:10,671 --> 00:11:12,630 It's a tandem bicycle. 567 00:11:12,713 --> 00:11:14,255 Yeah. 568 00:11:12,713 --> 00:11:14,255 It's so cute. 569 00:11:14,338 --> 00:11:16,171 "Happy V-Day. 570 00:11:16,255 --> 00:11:17,588 Love, M." 571 00:11:17,671 --> 00:11:18,921 And I thought my date 572 00:11:17,671 --> 00:11:18,921 was cold. 573 00:11:19,005 --> 00:11:21,671 What? No. 574 00:11:19,005 --> 00:11:21,671 Cam knows what I mean. 575 00:11:21,755 --> 00:11:23,505 Cam knows 576 00:11:21,755 --> 00:11:23,505 you are mean? 577 00:11:23,588 --> 00:11:25,171 You were more effusive 578 00:11:23,588 --> 00:11:25,171 about tonight's menu 579 00:11:25,255 --> 00:11:26,505 than you were 580 00:11:25,255 --> 00:11:26,505 in my card. 581 00:11:26,588 --> 00:11:28,880 "The molten chocolate cake looks 582 00:11:26,588 --> 00:11:28,880 slutty and delicious." 583 00:11:28,963 --> 00:11:30,588 Would it kill you 584 00:11:28,963 --> 00:11:30,588 to say that about me? 585 00:11:30,671 --> 00:11:32,546 What the hell? 586 00:11:30,671 --> 00:11:32,546 Amanda was here. 587 00:11:32,630 --> 00:11:34,338 This picture you posted 588 00:11:32,630 --> 00:11:34,338 on Facebook ... 589 00:11:34,421 --> 00:11:37,921 She's right behind you. 590 00:11:34,421 --> 00:11:37,921 Why would she just leave? 591 00:11:39,338 --> 00:11:40,921 Tonight was supposed to be 592 00:11:39,338 --> 00:11:40,921 a romantic night. 593 00:11:41,005 --> 00:11:42,796 I don't want to watch Luke 594 00:11:41,005 --> 00:11:42,796 make his sweaty moves 595 00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:44,088 on his conquest 596 00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:44,088 of the week. 597 00:11:44,171 --> 00:11:45,546 Yeah, 598 00:11:44,171 --> 00:11:45,546 and some of them buy it. 599 00:11:45,630 --> 00:11:46,755 Under what gas leak is 600 00:11:46,838 --> 00:11:48,671 he finding these 601 00:11:46,838 --> 00:11:48,671 brain-dead bimbos? 602 00:11:49,338 --> 00:11:50,755 I know what happened. 603 00:11:50,838 --> 00:11:53,088 She walked in, 604 00:11:50,838 --> 00:11:53,088 saw me for the first time, 605 00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:54,380 and thought I was hideous. 606 00:11:54,463 --> 00:11:56,380 I've really been struggling 607 00:11:54,463 --> 00:11:56,380 with my hair lately. 608 00:11:56,463 --> 00:11:58,546 No, no, stop it. 609 00:11:56,463 --> 00:11:58,546 You have great hair. 610 00:11:58,630 --> 00:12:00,921 If it worked for Sheena Easton, 611 00:11:58,630 --> 00:12:00,921 it can work for you. 612 00:12:01,005 --> 00:12:02,713 We spent 613 00:12:01,005 --> 00:12:02,713 all this time texting. 614 00:12:02,796 --> 00:12:04,046 I thought we had 615 00:12:02,796 --> 00:12:04,046 a real connection, 616 00:12:04,130 --> 00:12:06,213 like, we really got 617 00:12:04,130 --> 00:12:06,213 each other. 618 00:12:07,046 --> 00:12:08,838 We couldn't let him 619 00:12:07,046 --> 00:12:08,838 blame himself. 620 00:12:08,921 --> 00:12:10,921 But, uh... he took it 621 00:12:08,921 --> 00:12:10,921 pretty well. 622 00:12:11,005 --> 00:12:12,421 You catty bitches! 623 00:12:12,505 --> 00:12:15,921 Luke, we love you, 624 00:12:12,505 --> 00:12:15,921 but ever since you hit puberty, 625 00:12:16,046 --> 00:12:18,296 you've been... 626 00:12:16,046 --> 00:12:18,296 a little disgusting. 627 00:12:16,046 --> 00:12:18,296 A little disgusting. 628 00:12:18,380 --> 00:12:20,130 Don't you think 629 00:12:18,380 --> 00:12:20,130 I know that? 630 00:12:20,213 --> 00:12:21,921 She was my chance 631 00:12:20,213 --> 00:12:21,921 to turn it around. 632 00:12:22,005 --> 00:12:23,296 Okay, you know what? 633 00:12:22,005 --> 00:12:23,296 Call her. 634 00:12:23,380 --> 00:12:25,046 We'll get on the phone, 635 00:12:23,380 --> 00:12:25,046 we'll clear the whole thing up. 636 00:12:25,130 --> 00:12:26,963 I called her. 637 00:12:25,130 --> 00:12:26,963 She's not picking up. 638 00:12:27,046 --> 00:12:28,588 We're going 639 00:12:27,046 --> 00:12:28,588 to her apartment. 640 00:12:28,671 --> 00:12:30,463 We messed this up, 641 00:12:28,671 --> 00:12:30,463 we'll fix it. 642 00:12:30,546 --> 00:12:31,755 Before the cake arrives? 643 00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:34,088 I've been wanting to bury 644 00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:34,088 my face in that all night long. 645 00:12:34,171 --> 00:12:36,296 How can you not 646 00:12:34,171 --> 00:12:36,296 hear this? 647 00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:38,505 Okay, Joey, 648 00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:38,505 it's getting late. 649 00:12:38,588 --> 00:12:40,380 It's time to get you 650 00:12:38,588 --> 00:12:40,380 up to bed. 651 00:12:40,463 --> 00:12:43,421 Can you do a quick 652 00:12:40,463 --> 00:12:43,421 monster check first? 653 00:12:43,505 --> 00:12:45,880 Yes, I can. 654 00:12:48,046 --> 00:12:50,630 Phil, I can't sleep 655 00:12:48,046 --> 00:12:50,630 without my teddy bear, 656 00:12:50,713 --> 00:12:52,671 and I left him 657 00:12:50,713 --> 00:12:52,671 in my wagon. 658 00:12:52,755 --> 00:12:55,130 Can you get him? 659 00:12:52,755 --> 00:12:55,130 I'm afraid of the dark. 660 00:12:55,213 --> 00:12:58,088 You got it, buddy. 661 00:13:00,713 --> 00:13:03,130 Joe? 662 00:13:00,713 --> 00:13:03,130 What are you doing? 663 00:13:03,213 --> 00:13:04,921 Open the door. 664 00:13:05,005 --> 00:13:06,921 Fulgencio Joseph 665 00:13:05,005 --> 00:13:06,921 Pritchett! 666 00:13:07,005 --> 00:13:08,046 Open the door! 667 00:13:10,255 --> 00:13:12,421 You let me in right now, 668 00:13:10,255 --> 00:13:12,421 young man. 669 00:13:12,505 --> 00:13:14,380 Hey. 670 00:13:12,505 --> 00:13:14,380 Not cool, Joe! 671 00:13:19,171 --> 00:13:23,088 Joe, what is going on 672 00:13:19,171 --> 00:13:23,088 with this music? 673 00:13:23,171 --> 00:13:24,296 My God. 674 00:13:24,380 --> 00:13:25,671 Oh. 675 00:13:24,380 --> 00:13:25,671 Where's Phil? 676 00:13:25,755 --> 00:13:28,296 Who knows 677 00:13:25,755 --> 00:13:28,296 with that guy? 678 00:13:30,838 --> 00:13:32,171 Honey, what happened? 679 00:13:32,255 --> 00:13:34,255 Mini Casanova 680 00:13:32,255 --> 00:13:34,255 locked me out. 681 00:13:34,338 --> 00:13:36,463 What? 682 00:13:34,338 --> 00:13:36,463 That is enough. 683 00:13:36,546 --> 00:13:38,338 Joe, you are 684 00:13:36,546 --> 00:13:38,338 a little boy, 685 00:13:38,421 --> 00:13:40,713 and you're going to bed 686 00:13:38,421 --> 00:13:40,713 right now. 687 00:13:40,796 --> 00:13:43,505 You're a bad Valentine! 688 00:13:45,463 --> 00:13:47,046 Oh, no. 689 00:13:47,130 --> 00:13:48,630 I feel like the rest 690 00:13:47,130 --> 00:13:48,630 of the Breakfast Club 691 00:13:48,713 --> 00:13:50,296 when they realized 692 00:13:48,713 --> 00:13:50,296 Judd Nelson was 693 00:13:50,380 --> 00:13:53,005 more vulnerable 694 00:13:50,380 --> 00:13:53,005 than they thought. 695 00:13:50,380 --> 00:13:53,005 I... 696 00:13:53,088 --> 00:13:56,130 My hotel 697 00:13:53,088 --> 00:13:56,130 in Ibiza was my favorite. 698 00:13:56,213 --> 00:13:58,005 I used to hang out 699 00:13:56,213 --> 00:13:58,005 with Telly Savalas, 700 00:13:58,088 --> 00:13:59,463 Lyle Waggoner, 701 00:13:59,546 --> 00:14:01,338 but the scenery here 702 00:14:01,421 --> 00:14:03,671 makes me like this one 703 00:14:01,421 --> 00:14:03,671 mucho moré. 704 00:14:03,755 --> 00:14:06,171 You don't have to impress me 705 00:14:03,755 --> 00:14:06,171 with money 706 00:14:06,255 --> 00:14:08,796 or name-dropping, 707 00:14:06,255 --> 00:14:08,796 I think. 708 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:10,046 I like you. 709 00:14:10,130 --> 00:14:11,338 Don't tell this 710 00:14:10,130 --> 00:14:11,338 to my madam, 711 00:14:11,421 --> 00:14:14,671 but I cannot accept 712 00:14:11,421 --> 00:14:14,671 any money from you. 713 00:14:14,755 --> 00:14:15,671 Excuse me, ma'am. 714 00:14:15,755 --> 00:14:17,046 Can I talk with you 715 00:14:15,755 --> 00:14:17,046 for a moment? 716 00:14:20,463 --> 00:14:21,838 Yes? 717 00:14:21,921 --> 00:14:23,588 I'm gonna have to ask you 718 00:14:21,921 --> 00:14:23,588 to leave now. 719 00:14:23,671 --> 00:14:24,713 Huh? 720 00:14:24,796 --> 00:14:26,338 The hotel owner 721 00:14:24,796 --> 00:14:26,338 is very strict about... 722 00:14:26,421 --> 00:14:28,338 women who 723 00:14:26,421 --> 00:14:28,338 do what you do. 724 00:14:28,421 --> 00:14:30,921 Ooh, you're gonna 725 00:14:28,421 --> 00:14:30,921 take me to a room 726 00:14:31,005 --> 00:14:33,213 where the hotel owner 727 00:14:31,005 --> 00:14:33,213 is going to give me 728 00:14:33,296 --> 00:14:35,880 a very tough, 729 00:14:33,296 --> 00:14:35,880 sexy talking to? 730 00:14:35,963 --> 00:14:38,463 No, you're gonna leave, 731 00:14:35,963 --> 00:14:38,463 or we're gonna call the police. 732 00:14:38,546 --> 00:14:39,880 Yes, call the police. 733 00:14:38,546 --> 00:14:39,880 Gloria ... 734 00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:42,463 I've been a very, very 735 00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:42,463 bad girl. 736 00:14:42,546 --> 00:14:44,046 This is not a part of it. 737 00:14:44,130 --> 00:14:47,505 Sir, she is not 738 00:14:44,130 --> 00:14:47,505 a prostitute. 739 00:14:47,588 --> 00:14:48,713 This is my wife. 740 00:14:48,796 --> 00:14:50,505 That's what 741 00:14:48,796 --> 00:14:50,505 they all say. 742 00:14:50,588 --> 00:14:51,630 Please. 743 00:14:52,463 --> 00:14:54,796 Yep, that's probably what 744 00:14:52,463 --> 00:14:54,796 I would've said. 745 00:14:56,671 --> 00:14:58,588 Here she is. 746 00:14:56,671 --> 00:14:58,588 Ciconi. 747 00:15:00,088 --> 00:15:01,171 What do you want? 748 00:15:01,255 --> 00:15:02,255 - Oh, hi! 749 00:15:01,255 --> 00:15:02,255 - Here she is. 750 00:15:02,338 --> 00:15:03,796 Hey! Wow. 751 00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:05,255 You're actually hotter 752 00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:05,255 than your picture. 753 00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:07,713 You know, let us talk. 754 00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:07,713 Hi! So, we're ... 755 00:15:07,796 --> 00:15:09,130 we're Luke's uncles. 756 00:15:07,796 --> 00:15:09,130 We're Luke's uncles. 757 00:15:09,213 --> 00:15:10,838 You're his uncles? 758 00:15:09,213 --> 00:15:10,838 Uh-huh. 759 00:15:10,921 --> 00:15:13,630 And you said he puts sweaty 760 00:15:10,921 --> 00:15:13,630 moves on brain-dead bimbos? 761 00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:15,255 Okay, hadn't heard 762 00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:15,255 the specifics. 763 00:15:15,338 --> 00:15:16,630 Okay, you know ... 764 00:15:15,338 --> 00:15:16,630 you know what? 765 00:15:16,713 --> 00:15:18,088 We d... We didn't mean 766 00:15:16,713 --> 00:15:18,088 any of that. 767 00:15:18,171 --> 00:15:20,296 We're gay, 768 00:15:18,171 --> 00:15:20,296 and gays are snarky. 769 00:15:20,380 --> 00:15:21,380 It's a cultural thing. 770 00:15:21,463 --> 00:15:22,838 You know how, like, 771 00:15:21,463 --> 00:15:22,838 you're Italian? 772 00:15:22,921 --> 00:15:24,838 Italians talk 773 00:15:22,921 --> 00:15:24,838 a lot with their hands, right? 774 00:15:24,921 --> 00:15:25,921 And are much looser 775 00:15:26,005 --> 00:15:27,213 than one would imagine 776 00:15:26,005 --> 00:15:27,213 for Catholics. 777 00:15:27,296 --> 00:15:28,380 Okay, okay. 778 00:15:27,296 --> 00:15:28,380 Let me talk right now. 779 00:15:28,463 --> 00:15:31,421 Okay, Amanda, 780 00:15:28,463 --> 00:15:31,421 Luke's an amazing guy. 781 00:15:31,505 --> 00:15:32,630 Why would I believe 782 00:15:31,505 --> 00:15:32,630 what you're saying now 783 00:15:32,713 --> 00:15:34,380 and not what 784 00:15:32,713 --> 00:15:34,380 you said before? 785 00:15:34,463 --> 00:15:35,546 I don't know. 786 00:15:34,463 --> 00:15:35,546 I don't know. 787 00:15:35,630 --> 00:15:37,046 You know, maybe we were 788 00:15:35,630 --> 00:15:37,046 just being snarky 789 00:15:37,130 --> 00:15:38,838 because we were jealous 790 00:15:37,130 --> 00:15:38,838 of you guys. 791 00:15:37,130 --> 00:15:38,838 Yeah. 792 00:15:38,921 --> 00:15:40,630 I mean, seeing Luke 793 00:15:38,921 --> 00:15:40,630 all dressed up, 794 00:15:40,713 --> 00:15:42,463 getting ready 795 00:15:40,713 --> 00:15:42,463 for a first date, the ... 796 00:15:42,546 --> 00:15:45,171 the excitement of being 797 00:15:42,546 --> 00:15:45,171 young and in love. 798 00:15:45,255 --> 00:15:46,921 Mm. 799 00:15:45,255 --> 00:15:46,921 Easy. 800 00:15:47,005 --> 00:15:49,005 I-I remember when 801 00:15:47,005 --> 00:15:49,005 I first met Cam ... 802 00:15:49,088 --> 00:15:50,296 I'm Cam. 803 00:15:49,088 --> 00:15:50,296 This is Cam. 804 00:15:50,380 --> 00:15:52,005 I knew I had met 805 00:15:50,380 --> 00:15:52,005 the person 806 00:15:52,088 --> 00:15:54,171 I was gonna spend 807 00:15:52,088 --> 00:15:54,171 the rest of my life with. 808 00:15:54,255 --> 00:15:57,088 That's what I want, too ... 809 00:15:54,255 --> 00:15:57,088 a relationship, 810 00:15:57,171 --> 00:15:58,671 someone who's gonna 811 00:15:57,171 --> 00:15:58,671 be there for me. 812 00:15:58,755 --> 00:15:59,880 Luke feels 813 00:15:58,755 --> 00:15:59,880 the same way. 814 00:15:59,963 --> 00:16:02,921 I mean, this is a guy 815 00:15:59,963 --> 00:16:02,921 who is ready for commitment. 816 00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:04,380 We've really 817 00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:04,380 only texted. 818 00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:05,546 Okay, well, 819 00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:05,546 when I say ... 820 00:16:05,630 --> 00:16:06,880 when I say 821 00:16:05,630 --> 00:16:06,880 to give Luke a chance, 822 00:16:06,963 --> 00:16:09,546 it's because I-I know 823 00:16:06,963 --> 00:16:09,546 what's at stake for you. 824 00:16:09,630 --> 00:16:11,796 I-I mean, you think 825 00:16:09,630 --> 00:16:11,796 it's amazing now? 826 00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:14,963 You can't even imagine 827 00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:14,963 what it could grow into. 828 00:16:15,046 --> 00:16:17,296 If you guys have 829 00:16:15,046 --> 00:16:17,296 even the smallest chance 830 00:16:17,380 --> 00:16:20,630 of having what we have... 831 00:16:17,380 --> 00:16:20,630 you have to go for it. 832 00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:21,963 Oh, my God, Mitchell. 833 00:16:22,046 --> 00:16:24,296 That is the Valentine's Day card 834 00:16:22,046 --> 00:16:24,296 I've always wanted. 835 00:16:24,380 --> 00:16:26,088 Aww. 836 00:16:26,171 --> 00:16:28,005 That was sweet. 837 00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:29,213 But Luke's gone. 838 00:16:29,296 --> 00:16:31,046 Drive until 839 00:16:29,296 --> 00:16:31,046 you hear a party. 840 00:16:31,130 --> 00:16:32,713 Okay. Well, you know what? 841 00:16:31,130 --> 00:16:32,713 Good luck, honey. 842 00:16:32,796 --> 00:16:33,880 Bye, then. 843 00:16:32,796 --> 00:16:33,880 Yeah, take care. 844 00:16:33,963 --> 00:16:34,880 Okay. 845 00:16:34,963 --> 00:16:37,380 You see? We have 846 00:16:34,963 --> 00:16:37,380 the same address 847 00:16:37,463 --> 00:16:39,130 and the same last name. 848 00:16:39,213 --> 00:16:41,005 I was just pretending 849 00:16:39,213 --> 00:16:41,005 to be a prostitute 850 00:16:41,088 --> 00:16:44,171 because my husband has a thing 851 00:16:41,088 --> 00:16:44,171 for Jane Fonda in "Klute." 852 00:16:44,255 --> 00:16:45,213 The body was crazy, 853 00:16:45,296 --> 00:16:47,171 unfortunately, 854 00:16:45,296 --> 00:16:47,171 so were the politics. 855 00:16:47,255 --> 00:16:49,213 Well, I guess you didn't do 856 00:16:47,255 --> 00:16:49,213 anything wrong by hotel rules, 857 00:16:49,296 --> 00:16:51,963 but based on my personal 858 00:16:49,296 --> 00:16:51,963 belief system ... 859 00:16:52,046 --> 00:16:53,838 We're not looking for any input. 860 00:16:52,046 --> 00:16:53,838 Thank you. 861 00:16:53,921 --> 00:16:56,171 I can't believe I took 862 00:16:53,921 --> 00:16:56,171 romantic advice from Phil, 863 00:16:56,255 --> 00:17:00,588 a grown man I've seen in 864 00:16:56,255 --> 00:17:00,588 lederhosen at least three times. 865 00:17:00,671 --> 00:17:03,255 Phil told you to do 866 00:17:00,671 --> 00:17:03,255 the role play? 867 00:17:03,338 --> 00:17:05,255 Yeah, he said you were mad 868 00:17:03,338 --> 00:17:05,255 this morning 869 00:17:05,338 --> 00:17:08,046 because I always drop the ball 870 00:17:05,338 --> 00:17:08,046 on days like this. 871 00:17:08,130 --> 00:17:09,213 I wasn't mad at you. 872 00:17:09,296 --> 00:17:10,255 I was mad at Joe 873 00:17:10,338 --> 00:17:12,088 because he didn't make me 874 00:17:10,338 --> 00:17:12,088 a Valentine. 875 00:17:12,171 --> 00:17:14,630 So, your 6-year-old kid 876 00:17:12,171 --> 00:17:14,630 doesn't give you a card, 877 00:17:14,713 --> 00:17:16,088 you get so mad, 878 00:17:14,713 --> 00:17:16,088 you throw a tire iron 879 00:17:16,171 --> 00:17:17,255 through the windshield. 880 00:17:17,338 --> 00:17:18,880 It's got to be deeper 881 00:17:17,338 --> 00:17:18,880 than that. 882 00:17:18,963 --> 00:17:20,380 Manny, 883 00:17:18,963 --> 00:17:20,380 for the first time ever, 884 00:17:20,463 --> 00:17:22,421 didn't make me 885 00:17:20,463 --> 00:17:22,421 a Valentine's, either. 886 00:17:22,505 --> 00:17:23,713 That's not deeper. 887 00:17:23,796 --> 00:17:27,171 That's just doubling down 888 00:17:23,796 --> 00:17:27,171 on the same disturbing thing. 889 00:17:27,255 --> 00:17:28,380 Disturbing? 890 00:17:28,463 --> 00:17:29,755 When Manny was 891 00:17:28,463 --> 00:17:29,755 5 years old, 892 00:17:29,838 --> 00:17:32,421 he told me that he would 893 00:17:29,838 --> 00:17:32,421 forever be my Valentine's. 894 00:17:32,505 --> 00:17:35,838 Promises were made. 895 00:17:32,505 --> 00:17:35,838 I will not be ignored! 896 00:17:36,838 --> 00:17:39,505 Okay, yeah. 897 00:17:36,838 --> 00:17:39,505 That sounded weird. 898 00:17:39,588 --> 00:17:41,963 But the point is 899 00:17:39,588 --> 00:17:41,963 that I know 900 00:17:42,046 --> 00:17:44,088 that you're not good 901 00:17:42,046 --> 00:17:44,088 at romantic things, 902 00:17:44,213 --> 00:17:45,255 and I'm fine with it. 903 00:17:45,338 --> 00:17:47,088 Don't let me off the hook. 904 00:17:45,338 --> 00:17:47,088 If I did more, 905 00:17:47,171 --> 00:17:49,588 you won't depend on your kids 906 00:17:47,171 --> 00:17:49,588 for those things. 907 00:17:49,671 --> 00:17:51,171 And if I learned anything 908 00:17:51,255 --> 00:17:52,505 from trying to pick you up 909 00:17:51,255 --> 00:17:52,505 tonight, 910 00:17:52,588 --> 00:17:54,588 it's how lucky I was to get you 911 00:17:52,588 --> 00:17:54,588 in the first place. 912 00:17:54,671 --> 00:17:56,046 I've got to do better. 913 00:17:56,130 --> 00:17:57,963 And I didn't think anyone 914 00:17:58,046 --> 00:18:02,421 could get any sexier 915 00:17:58,046 --> 00:18:02,421 than Raoul Matadoré. 916 00:18:04,296 --> 00:18:06,963 I want to remember 917 00:18:04,296 --> 00:18:06,963 the exact moment 918 00:18:07,046 --> 00:18:09,463 I fell in love with you 919 00:18:07,046 --> 00:18:09,463 all over again. 920 00:18:12,088 --> 00:18:14,296 What the hell 921 00:18:12,088 --> 00:18:14,296 have you done? 922 00:18:14,380 --> 00:18:16,755 That was 923 00:18:14,380 --> 00:18:16,755 my father's watch! 924 00:18:18,338 --> 00:18:20,421 Poor little Joe. 925 00:18:20,505 --> 00:18:22,713 You don't think I led him on, 926 00:18:20,505 --> 00:18:22,713 do you? 927 00:18:22,796 --> 00:18:24,380 No, no. 928 00:18:24,463 --> 00:18:25,588 I am not doing this. 929 00:18:25,671 --> 00:18:27,463 Women always blame 930 00:18:25,671 --> 00:18:27,463 themselves. 931 00:18:27,546 --> 00:18:29,713 Well, I'm sorry, Joe. 932 00:18:27,546 --> 00:18:29,713 I don't owe you anything. 933 00:18:29,796 --> 00:18:32,921 You know what? 934 00:18:29,796 --> 00:18:32,921 I-I think I'll handle this. 935 00:18:35,463 --> 00:18:36,463 Hey, buddy. 936 00:18:36,546 --> 00:18:38,838 Are you gonna yell 937 00:18:36,546 --> 00:18:38,838 at me, too? 938 00:18:38,921 --> 00:18:40,088 Listen. 939 00:18:40,171 --> 00:18:41,921 The reason Claire 940 00:18:40,171 --> 00:18:41,921 was yelling at you 941 00:18:42,005 --> 00:18:43,630 was to protect 942 00:18:42,005 --> 00:18:43,630 my feelings. 943 00:18:43,713 --> 00:18:46,088 She knows I can't 944 00:18:43,713 --> 00:18:46,088 compete with you, 945 00:18:46,171 --> 00:18:47,671 which is, um... 946 00:18:47,755 --> 00:18:51,005 which is why I have to ask you 947 00:18:47,755 --> 00:18:51,005 a really big favor. 948 00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:52,880 Can you pick 949 00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:52,880 another girl? 950 00:18:52,963 --> 00:18:54,755 I mean, you can have 951 00:18:52,963 --> 00:18:54,755 anyone you want, 952 00:18:54,838 --> 00:18:56,838 but... 953 00:18:54,838 --> 00:18:56,838 Claire's all I've got. 954 00:18:56,921 --> 00:18:58,463 I'd be lost without her. 955 00:18:58,546 --> 00:19:00,463 I don't even know how I got her 956 00:18:58,546 --> 00:19:00,463 in the first place. 957 00:19:00,546 --> 00:19:02,546 You are pretty silly. 958 00:19:02,630 --> 00:19:03,463 What do you say? 959 00:19:03,546 --> 00:19:06,463 Dude to dude, 960 00:19:03,546 --> 00:19:06,463 will you back off? 961 00:19:08,338 --> 00:19:09,963 Okay. 962 00:19:11,130 --> 00:19:12,546 Is Haley seeing anyone? 963 00:19:12,630 --> 00:19:13,713 Easy. 964 00:19:25,630 --> 00:19:28,046 How'd I get back to Arvin? 965 00:19:25,630 --> 00:19:28,046 I don't know. 966 00:19:28,130 --> 00:19:29,755 I was just looking 967 00:19:28,130 --> 00:19:29,755 for the parking lot 968 00:19:29,838 --> 00:19:31,671 when I came to a fork 969 00:19:29,838 --> 00:19:31,671 in the path. 970 00:19:31,755 --> 00:19:33,046 Had I taken the other path, 971 00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:36,546 I would've just gotten in my car 972 00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:36,546 and gone home. 973 00:19:36,630 --> 00:19:38,171 Instead... 974 00:19:39,713 --> 00:19:41,380 You came back! 975 00:19:41,463 --> 00:19:43,171 Damn it, I did! 976 00:19:43,255 --> 00:19:46,463 Why did you run off? 977 00:19:43,255 --> 00:19:46,463 What did I do? 978 00:19:46,546 --> 00:19:48,755 Everything. 979 00:19:46,546 --> 00:19:48,755 And I've done nothing. 980 00:19:48,838 --> 00:19:50,838 I-I feel like a loser. 981 00:19:50,921 --> 00:19:52,296 You feel like a loser? 982 00:19:52,380 --> 00:19:55,755 Why do you think I went on 983 00:19:52,380 --> 00:19:55,755 about myself so appallingly? 984 00:19:55,838 --> 00:19:57,296 Ooh, look at me. 985 00:19:57,380 --> 00:19:58,963 I won 986 00:19:57,380 --> 00:19:58,963 the Von Snootington Award 987 00:19:59,046 --> 00:20:01,171 for Applied 988 00:19:59,046 --> 00:20:01,171 Astro-Doofinomics. 989 00:20:01,255 --> 00:20:04,088 You won another award? 990 00:20:01,255 --> 00:20:04,088 How is this helping? 991 00:20:04,171 --> 00:20:06,755 Haley... I like you. 992 00:20:06,838 --> 00:20:11,213 You are formidable 993 00:20:06,838 --> 00:20:11,213 in a way that's... 994 00:20:11,296 --> 00:20:14,880 that's different 995 00:20:11,296 --> 00:20:14,880 and exciting to me. 996 00:20:14,963 --> 00:20:16,380 Yeah, well, same, 997 00:20:16,463 --> 00:20:18,755 but it just doesn't 998 00:20:16,463 --> 00:20:18,755 make sense. 999 00:20:18,838 --> 00:20:20,713 I love things that 1000 00:20:18,838 --> 00:20:20,713 don't make sense. 1001 00:20:20,796 --> 00:20:22,838 That's my gig. 1002 00:20:22,921 --> 00:20:24,338 Let's figure this out 1003 00:20:22,921 --> 00:20:24,338 together. 1004 00:20:24,421 --> 00:20:25,796 Come on. 1005 00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:27,213 What can I do? 1006 00:20:33,838 --> 00:20:35,921 That helps. 1007 00:20:40,463 --> 00:20:43,880 Oh, it's so weird to think that 1008 00:20:40,463 --> 00:20:43,880 if I had taken another path, 1009 00:20:43,963 --> 00:20:45,421 I could be heading home 1010 00:20:43,963 --> 00:20:45,421 right now. 1011 00:20:45,505 --> 00:20:48,130 Wait a minute. 1012 00:20:45,505 --> 00:20:48,130 It's like what you said before. 1013 00:20:48,213 --> 00:20:51,963 In a different universe, 1014 00:20:48,213 --> 00:20:51,963 you could be with someone else. 1015 00:21:02,171 --> 00:21:05,005 Um, uh, could we ... 1016 00:21:02,171 --> 00:21:05,005 could we change this song? 1017 00:21:05,088 --> 00:21:06,505 The poppy cadence 1018 00:21:05,088 --> 00:21:06,505 is throwing off 1019 00:21:06,588 --> 00:21:09,338 my more bluesy 1020 00:21:06,588 --> 00:21:09,338 lovemaking style. 1021 00:21:09,421 --> 00:21:10,421 Oh! 1022 00:21:10,505 --> 00:21:11,963 Aw, geez! 1023 00:21:10,505 --> 00:21:11,963 Dios mio! 1024 00:21:12,046 --> 00:21:14,005 Don't you ever knock? 1025 00:21:12,046 --> 00:21:14,005 This is my bedroom! 1026 00:21:14,088 --> 00:21:16,296 I can't believe this is 1027 00:21:14,088 --> 00:21:16,296 happening again! 1028 00:21:16,380 --> 00:21:17,796 Again? 1029 00:21:16,380 --> 00:21:17,796 Oh. 1030 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:19,130 I wish I had 1031 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:19,130 gotten arrested! 1032 00:21:19,213 --> 00:21:21,838 Mom, where are you? 1033 00:21:19,213 --> 00:21:21,838 I made you a Valen... 1034 00:21:23,755 --> 00:21:25,671 Okay, what kind of freak show 1035 00:21:23,755 --> 00:21:25,671 goes on here 1036 00:21:25,755 --> 00:21:27,171 when I'm not around? 1037 00:21:30,171 --> 00:21:33,046 Captions by VITAC :