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During your weekend here,

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you will explore ways,

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through yoga, breathing,

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and other mindful practices,

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to reconnect with yourself

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and your partner.

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Also, for a small donation,

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we have an on-site shaman

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who can heal your chakras.

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Small donation?

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Sounds like a "chakra con."

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Oh.

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You're supposed

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to turn that off.

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I'm sorry.

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It's work.

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Okay,

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so is a marriage.

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You know, we traveled all this

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way. The least you could do

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is take this

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seriously.

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I'm sorry.

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You're right.

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Oh, my God, that ... that

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crappy breakfast was $55.

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For flax

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and berries.

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Yeah.

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I thought this was supposed to

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be one fee up front, all in.

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I wish you were all in,

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Mitchell.

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I'm sor... I am.

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Starting... now.

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Okay?

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Okay.

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That wasn't me.

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I have invited the Tibetan

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Singing Bowl to ring,

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reminding us to all

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turn down the volume

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and find the beauty

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in silence.

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That was unfortunate.

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My apologies. We happen to be

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next door to the Royals.

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Oh, my God,

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we just binged The Crown.

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W-W-Which royals?

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William and Kate?

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Harry and

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the Suits girl?

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Actually, it's the Kansas City

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Royals. Spring training,

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their practice field

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is next door.

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Growing up a Royals fan,

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it was always my dream

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to see them at

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spring training.

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So, I just decided,

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after the retreat was over,

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I'm just gonna swing by,

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you know, grab an autograph,

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maybe whisper an opinion

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in the manager's ear,

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be discovered as

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a great baseball mind.

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Then the Yankees

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would come calling,

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and I'd have to choose

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between the team I love

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and the ... the big payout.

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But I'm getting ahead

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of myself.

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Not to worry. This is

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their last day of training,

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and they leave tonight.

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Excuse me,

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question.

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Yes.

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Yes, hi. Will we have

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an opportunity to explore

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these ... these beautiful

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grounds on our own?

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Absolutely.

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Tomorrow at sunset.

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After goat yoga.

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Oh, my God!

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Can it get any worse?

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Arrgh! Ughh!

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What are you doing?

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I grunted less

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when I was giving birth

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to Joe.

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You were pushing six and a half

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pounds, I'm pushing 220.

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You're dressing younger.

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You're exercising.

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You only had one breakfast

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this morning.

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Who is she, Jay?

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I'll kill her.

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Relax, would you?

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I'm just trying to get in shape.

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Okay, but hurry,

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because we have to go

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and pick up Joe

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at the birthday party.

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Wait a minute.

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Is that what this

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is all about ...

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Henry's father?

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I don't understand

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why you're so insecure

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just because

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he's younger,

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stronger, and more rugged

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than you are.

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Go easy. I'm working on

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only one breakfast.

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Joe won't shut up about

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his new friend's dad.

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"Henry's dad is so tough."

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Who cares?

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He was a stunt double in

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a couple of Bourne movies.

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From the first time

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Joe went over there,

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that guy's been trying

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to prove how cool he is.

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Joe! Let's go!

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Heads up!

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What the hell?

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- Yeah!

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He's Jason Bourne!

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That's make-believe.

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Matt Damon's Jason Bourne.

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Growing up, I thought

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my dad was the coolest.

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And that made me feel

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good about myself.

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I mean,

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I try to stay with it.

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Exactly! Look at you,

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you even have a smart watch.

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Yeah, the damn thing tells me

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when to stand up,

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when to breathe.

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Your body mass

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index is ...

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Nobody asked!

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Which have more chromosomes,

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potatoes or humans?

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Humans, right?

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Potatoes?

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Oh, Krazy Kups,

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what can't you teach us?

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Are you doing all this to

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impress Haley's boyfriend?

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Haley's dating this genius

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astrophysics professor

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who's somehow

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making her smarter

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because, last week,

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I called Pluto a planet

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and Haley

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laughed at me.

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In pity.

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Haley.

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Haley.

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Haley.

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Do we think that Haley

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is suited to a professor,

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because I more saw her

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with a Gilligan type?

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Come on, now.

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Lots of happy couples

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aren't the exact same

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level of smart.

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That's true.

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We work.

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Yeah.

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Wait.

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When you say, "We work,"

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do you think you're smarter

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than me or I'm smarter than you?

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I think I'm smart enough

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not to have this conversation.

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Oh, my God!

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You do! You think

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you're smarter than me!

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Okay, hotshot.

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How many patents do you have?

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Headscratcher TM,

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Aspirin Gun,

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Polite Car Horn that'll

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put an end to road rage.

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Excuse me,

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excuse me, excuse me.

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Can we just not get into a whole

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thing before this lunch?

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What lunch?

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I just ate a pie.

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Your sister is dating

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a professor of astrophysics,

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and he's coming here

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today to meet us.

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Oh, good,

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someone to talk to.

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I'm tired of dumbing it down

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for you chuckle-heads.

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Bill, are you on your way?

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Stay in the car.

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I'll meet you outside.

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It was hard for me when Haley

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started dating Arvin,

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my professor

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and science hero and...

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okay, fine, crush.

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I was so upset, I went home,

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and I may have overindulged...

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on Bagel Bites.

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Hey.

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- Aah!

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- It's okay. You're safe.

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But I'm gonna need you

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to come with me.

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I don't really

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think you need ...

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Okay.

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He was like a superhero.

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Is that your dad?

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A beautiful...

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not-so-smart superhero.

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The last thing I wanted

238
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was Professor Fennerman

239
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finding out

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I was dating a dummy.

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A sweet, chiseled dummy.

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00:05:09,775 --> 00:05:14,191
Alex, you didn't mention you've

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got a firefighter boyfriend.

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Yeah! It's great.

245
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"Take that, you fire."

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We gotta go.

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Oh, but your parents just

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invited me to stay for lunch.

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Score!

250
00:05:20,483 --> 00:05:22,900
By the way, you look way younger

251
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than your poster.

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We really should

253
00:05:22,983 --> 00:05:25,358
get going before we ...

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we miss our ... our plans

255
00:05:25,441 --> 00:05:27,275
and stuff, right?

256
00:05:25,441 --> 00:05:27,275
Oh.

257
00:05:27,358 --> 00:05:29,025
Yeah.

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00:05:27,358 --> 00:05:29,025
Uh, yeah...

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Alex! I didn't know you were

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joining us for lunch.

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00:05:31,191 --> 00:05:32,691
Oh! No, no.

262
00:05:32,775 --> 00:05:34,650
My ... My friend and I

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have some plans

264
00:05:34,733 --> 00:05:36,233
we really

265
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can't get out of.

266
00:05:36,316 --> 00:05:39,025
Oh, no, I could totally just

267
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show you Backdraft later.

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It's my brother's DVD.

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He doesn't even know I took it.

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00:05:41,733 --> 00:05:44,025
So...

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00:05:41,733 --> 00:05:44,025
Mom, Dad,

272
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this is Arvin.

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00:05:44,108 --> 00:05:46,400
Hello, Arvin.

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It's a pleasure to meet you.

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Yes, you are the first

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TED Talkin' science superstar

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we've ever had

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in our house.

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Mm-hmm.

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00:05:51,108 --> 00:05:54,358
Well, as long as I'm a

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"superstar" and not a supernova.

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You don't even know what

283
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you're laughing at.

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I get it.

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I got it more.

286
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I don't get it, but, uh, you

287
00:06:02,316 --> 00:06:05,733
sound like Austin Powers, man.

288
00:06:09,941 --> 00:06:12,525
Wow. Henry's dad

289
00:06:09,941 --> 00:06:12,525
did such a great job

290
00:06:12,608 --> 00:06:14,066
with the birthday party

291
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for the kids, huh?

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"Henry's dad."

293
00:06:14,150 --> 00:06:15,650
"Henry's dad."

294
00:06:15,733 --> 00:06:16,733
I took Joe

295
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to see African Queen

296
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in CinemaScope.

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Oh, hey.

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00:06:18,983 --> 00:06:20,525
Good to see you again, Jay.

299
00:06:20,608 --> 00:06:21,983
Hi.

300
00:06:20,608 --> 00:06:21,983
Hi, I'm Clay.

301
00:06:22,066 --> 00:06:23,733
I'd shake your hand,

302
00:06:22,066 --> 00:06:23,733
but I'm a little banged up.

303
00:06:23,816 --> 00:06:25,816
I feel out of a five-story

304
00:06:23,816 --> 00:06:25,816
building this morning,

305
00:06:25,900 --> 00:06:26,900
into a net.

306
00:06:26,983 --> 00:06:28,650
He fell out of bed

307
00:06:26,983 --> 00:06:28,650
this morning.

308
00:06:28,733 --> 00:06:30,066
Ah. Hey, honey.

309
00:06:30,150 --> 00:06:31,108
Come down and meet

310
00:06:30,150 --> 00:06:31,108
these guys.

311
00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:35,150
- Oh, hey!

312
00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:35,150
Wow.

313
00:06:35,233 --> 00:06:38,191
Welcome.

314
00:06:35,233 --> 00:06:38,191
I'm Jenny, Henry's mom.

315
00:06:38,275 --> 00:06:39,441
Joe's parents ...

316
00:06:38,275 --> 00:06:39,441
Jay, Gloria.

317
00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:40,816
Hi.

318
00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:40,816
Gloria.

319
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:43,733
Mama! Henry's mom just did

320
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:43,733
the wall so fast!

321
00:06:43,816 --> 00:06:44,900
You try it.

322
00:06:44,983 --> 00:06:47,441
Oh, I climb already into

323
00:06:44,983 --> 00:06:47,441
these heels this morning.

324
00:06:47,525 --> 00:06:49,358
It's too much

325
00:06:47,525 --> 00:06:49,358
for me today.

326
00:06:49,441 --> 00:06:51,150
I'm going up again!

327
00:06:51,233 --> 00:06:52,941
Okay.

328
00:06:53,025 --> 00:06:54,316
Oh, I used to love

329
00:06:53,025 --> 00:06:54,316
wearing shoes like that.

330
00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:56,650
But after marching around in

331
00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:56,650
combat boots for two years,

332
00:06:56,733 --> 00:06:59,483
I made a deal with my feet

333
00:06:56,733 --> 00:06:59,483
I would never hurt them again.

334
00:06:59,566 --> 00:07:02,191
My beautiful wife

335
00:06:59,566 --> 00:07:02,191
did two tours in Iraq.

336
00:07:02,275 --> 00:07:04,650
Oh.

337
00:07:02,275 --> 00:07:04,650
Wow, Gloria, you're not

338
00:07:02,275 --> 00:07:04,650
that different.

339
00:07:04,733 --> 00:07:08,108
Yesterday, she did

340
00:07:04,733 --> 00:07:08,108
two tours of a sales rack.

341
00:07:09,191 --> 00:07:12,025
Help! I'm too high!

342
00:07:12,108 --> 00:07:14,650
Oh.

343
00:07:12,108 --> 00:07:14,650
Go ahead, just jump,

344
00:07:12,108 --> 00:07:14,650
buddy. I'll catch ya.

345
00:07:14,733 --> 00:07:16,108
But your sciatica!

346
00:07:16,191 --> 00:07:17,900
I'm on it.

347
00:07:17,983 --> 00:07:20,900
What is the hurry?

348
00:07:17,983 --> 00:07:20,900
He's on a rope.

349
00:07:22,191 --> 00:07:25,150
She's making quite

350
00:07:22,191 --> 00:07:25,150
a meal out of this.

351
00:07:22,191 --> 00:07:25,150
Yeah.

352
00:07:29,066 --> 00:07:30,566
Attaboy.

353
00:07:30,650 --> 00:07:33,358
Thank you, Jenny.

354
00:07:30,650 --> 00:07:33,358
You're so cool.

355
00:07:33,441 --> 00:07:36,233
Ah, look at that, Gloria.

356
00:07:33,441 --> 00:07:36,233
She saved him.

357
00:07:36,316 --> 00:07:38,816
Just like she

358
00:07:36,316 --> 00:07:38,816
saved America.

359
00:07:38,900 --> 00:07:41,816
Can I have some more cake?

360
00:07:38,900 --> 00:07:41,816
Jenny made it.

361
00:07:41,900 --> 00:07:43,358
I used to cook

362
00:07:41,900 --> 00:07:43,358
for my squadron.

363
00:07:43,441 --> 00:07:44,525
You've done so

364
00:07:43,441 --> 00:07:44,525
many great things

365
00:07:44,608 --> 00:07:46,108
that you keep

366
00:07:44,608 --> 00:07:46,108
telling us about.

367
00:07:47,608 --> 00:07:50,525
Here we are ...

368
00:07:47,608 --> 00:07:50,525
our sensory deprivation tanks

369
00:07:50,608 --> 00:07:51,983
will disconnect you

370
00:07:50,608 --> 00:07:51,983
from the world

371
00:07:52,066 --> 00:07:53,983
and connect you

372
00:07:52,066 --> 00:07:53,983
with yourselves.

373
00:07:54,066 --> 00:07:55,858
Okay, so, this looks

374
00:07:54,066 --> 00:07:55,858
a little coffin-y.

375
00:07:55,941 --> 00:07:58,900
So, I'm not so sure.

376
00:07:55,941 --> 00:07:58,900
About my husband.

377
00:07:58,983 --> 00:08:01,775
He had an MRI last year,

378
00:07:58,983 --> 00:08:01,775
and he sort of freaked out.

379
00:08:01,858 --> 00:08:03,316
So, do you have

380
00:08:01,858 --> 00:08:03,316
anything bigger,

381
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,775
like, an indoor pool

382
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,775
or a ... a family tank?

383
00:08:05,858 --> 00:08:07,191
Okay, Mitchell,

384
00:08:05,858 --> 00:08:07,191
I'm ... I'm fine.

385
00:08:07,275 --> 00:08:09,733
We're here to evolve

386
00:08:07,275 --> 00:08:09,733
and grow...

387
00:08:07,275 --> 00:08:09,733
Well...

388
00:08:09,816 --> 00:08:11,191
So, the float lasts

389
00:08:09,816 --> 00:08:11,191
for one hour,

390
00:08:11,275 --> 00:08:14,233
during which most people

391
00:08:11,275 --> 00:08:14,233
simply experience

392
00:08:14,316 --> 00:08:15,983
a deep, relaxed state.

393
00:08:16,066 --> 00:08:17,150
Most people?

394
00:08:16,066 --> 00:08:17,150
What ... What about the rest?

395
00:08:17,233 --> 00:08:18,816
What ... What do

396
00:08:17,233 --> 00:08:18,816
they experience?

397
00:08:18,900 --> 00:08:21,233
Okay, a-are these scratches

398
00:08:18,900 --> 00:08:21,233
on this lid here?

399
00:08:18,900 --> 00:08:21,233
Oh, come on, Mitchell.

400
00:08:21,316 --> 00:08:23,566
The flower that blooms

401
00:08:21,316 --> 00:08:23,566
in adversity

402
00:08:23,650 --> 00:08:25,941
is the most rare

403
00:08:23,650 --> 00:08:25,941
and beautiful of all.

404
00:08:26,025 --> 00:08:27,900
Very well put.

405
00:08:27,983 --> 00:08:29,191
He didn't make that up.

406
00:08:27,983 --> 00:08:29,191
It's from Mulan.

407
00:08:29,275 --> 00:08:30,941
Our daughter made us

408
00:08:29,275 --> 00:08:30,941
watch it a thousand times.

409
00:08:31,025 --> 00:08:32,525
Well, I ...

410
00:08:31,025 --> 00:08:32,525
Well, I'm lashing!

411
00:08:32,608 --> 00:08:34,566
Okay,

412
00:08:32,608 --> 00:08:34,566
maybe we should just float.

413
00:08:34,650 --> 00:08:38,316
Yeah,

414
00:08:34,650 --> 00:08:38,316
let's just float.

415
00:08:34,650 --> 00:08:38,316
Yeah, okay.

416
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:40,441
Okay.

417
00:08:47,941 --> 00:08:50,400
I tried to relax in there,

418
00:08:47,941 --> 00:08:50,400
I really did.

419
00:08:50,483 --> 00:08:51,483
But it was difficult.

420
00:08:51,566 --> 00:08:53,941
I-I guess because I felt

421
00:08:51,566 --> 00:08:53,941
like I was, um ...

422
00:08:54,025 --> 00:08:55,233
Oh, what's the word?

423
00:08:55,316 --> 00:08:56,483
Dying.

424
00:08:56,566 --> 00:08:57,983
But I got past that,

425
00:08:58,066 --> 00:09:00,941
only to start reliving every

426
00:08:58,066 --> 00:09:00,941
mistake I have ever made,

427
00:09:01,025 --> 00:09:03,400
like when I went to

428
00:09:01,025 --> 00:09:03,400
an Oscar party and I said

429
00:09:03,483 --> 00:09:06,608
"Bett" Davis in front of a room

430
00:09:03,483 --> 00:09:06,608
full of vicious gays.

431
00:09:06,691 --> 00:09:08,525
Honestly, the only thing

432
00:09:06,691 --> 00:09:08,525
that kept me in there

433
00:09:08,608 --> 00:09:10,691
was the knowledge that Cam

434
00:09:08,608 --> 00:09:10,691
was right next door.

435
00:09:10,775 --> 00:09:13,400
Go Royals! I-I love you!

436
00:09:13,483 --> 00:09:14,566
It was a solid plan ...

437
00:09:14,650 --> 00:09:16,525
just go for a quick peek,

438
00:09:14,650 --> 00:09:16,525
take some pictures,

439
00:09:16,608 --> 00:09:18,108
run back, splash some water

440
00:09:16,608 --> 00:09:18,108
in my hair,

441
00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:21,941
"Oh, Mitchell, isn't floating

442
00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:21,941
so relaxing?"

443
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,150
Got it!

444
00:09:28,233 --> 00:09:29,233
Nice catch.

445
00:09:29,316 --> 00:09:30,608
Oh.

446
00:09:29,316 --> 00:09:30,608
That was good.

447
00:09:30,691 --> 00:09:33,483
Oh, my gosh. Uh, M-Mr. Brett.

448
00:09:30,691 --> 00:09:33,483
I didn't know you would be here.

449
00:09:33,566 --> 00:09:34,983
Hi. Call me George.

450
00:09:33,566 --> 00:09:34,983
Oh, George.

451
00:09:35,066 --> 00:09:37,150
Yeah, how are ya?

452
00:09:35,066 --> 00:09:37,150
Uh, good.

453
00:09:35,066 --> 00:09:37,150
My name's Cameron.

454
00:09:37,233 --> 00:09:38,233
Nice to meet you, Cam.

455
00:09:38,316 --> 00:09:39,483
Nice to meet you.

456
00:09:38,316 --> 00:09:39,483
Been a fan for ...

457
00:09:39,566 --> 00:09:41,066
Hey, do you mind if

458
00:09:39,566 --> 00:09:41,066
I get a picture?

459
00:09:41,150 --> 00:09:41,983
Not at all. Not at all.

460
00:09:42,066 --> 00:09:43,483
300 bucks,

461
00:09:42,066 --> 00:09:43,483
how's that sound?

462
00:09:43,566 --> 00:09:45,108
I'm retired.

463
00:09:45,191 --> 00:09:46,483
300?

464
00:09:45,191 --> 00:09:46,483
I'm just kidding.

465
00:09:46,566 --> 00:09:48,191
Oh.

466
00:09:48,275 --> 00:09:49,316
Come on, it's free.

467
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:50,358
Okay ... Ow!

468
00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:53,483
Alright.

469
00:09:53,566 --> 00:09:55,483
There it is.

470
00:09:53,566 --> 00:09:55,483
There they are! Oh, my God!

471
00:09:53,566 --> 00:09:55,483
There ya go! There ya go!

472
00:09:55,566 --> 00:09:56,816
Well, listen, I don't want to

473
00:09:55,566 --> 00:09:56,816
take up too much of your time.

474
00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:57,775
Thank you s...

475
00:09:57,858 --> 00:09:58,983
I got all the time

476
00:09:57,858 --> 00:09:58,983
in the world.

477
00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:00,150
I'm not playing.

478
00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:00,150
I'm just coaching.

479
00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:00,150
Ohh.

480
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:01,400
Okay.

481
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:01,400
Yeah. Come here.

482
00:10:01,483 --> 00:10:02,900
Let me tell you the story

483
00:10:01,483 --> 00:10:02,900
about the Pine Tar game.

484
00:10:02,983 --> 00:10:04,608
Oh, wow!

485
00:10:02,983 --> 00:10:04,608
You wanna

486
00:10:02,983 --> 00:10:04,608
hear that?

487
00:10:04,691 --> 00:10:05,983
Sure.

488
00:10:04,691 --> 00:10:05,983
Come on.

489
00:10:06,066 --> 00:10:07,483
Okay.

490
00:10:06,066 --> 00:10:07,483
But first, let me

491
00:10:06,066 --> 00:10:07,483
tell you about ...

492
00:10:07,566 --> 00:10:09,858
I'm gonna tell you about dinner

493
00:10:07,566 --> 00:10:09,858
the night before.

494
00:10:07,566 --> 00:10:09,858
Oh.

495
00:10:12,608 --> 00:10:14,775
You must be

496
00:10:12,608 --> 00:10:14,775
the genius boyfriend.

497
00:10:14,858 --> 00:10:16,191
That is what

498
00:10:14,858 --> 00:10:16,191
the guys call me.

499
00:10:16,275 --> 00:10:17,900
They're always,

500
00:10:16,275 --> 00:10:17,900
like, you know,

501
00:10:17,983 --> 00:10:21,275
"Hey, genius."

502
00:10:17,983 --> 00:10:21,275
I'm like, "Hey, guys."

503
00:10:21,358 --> 00:10:23,566
So, tell me,

504
00:10:21,358 --> 00:10:23,566
are there aliens?

505
00:10:23,650 --> 00:10:24,733
You kidding? 100%.

506
00:10:24,816 --> 00:10:27,858
Oh, I knew it. Wait,

507
00:10:24,816 --> 00:10:27,858
and the zombiepocalypse?

508
00:10:27,941 --> 00:10:29,066
Dude, I tell everyone,

509
00:10:29,150 --> 00:10:32,483
"Start building up an immunity

510
00:10:29,150 --> 00:10:32,483
to zombie bites. Now."

511
00:10:32,566 --> 00:10:34,900
I'm so glad we talked.

512
00:10:34,983 --> 00:10:37,816
Um. Sorry for

513
00:10:34,983 --> 00:10:37,816
the interruption.

514
00:10:37,900 --> 00:10:38,816
Everything okay?

515
00:10:38,900 --> 00:10:40,066
Well, the short story

516
00:10:38,900 --> 00:10:40,066
is, yes.

517
00:10:40,150 --> 00:10:41,150
The ... The long story is,

518
00:10:41,233 --> 00:10:43,316
the theory

519
00:10:41,233 --> 00:10:43,316
on which I've based

520
00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:45,733
much of my career

521
00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:45,733
has just been disproven.

522
00:10:45,816 --> 00:10:49,233
What? Your Vacuum

523
00:10:45,816 --> 00:10:49,233
Energy Density Theory?

524
00:10:45,816 --> 00:10:49,233
I'm ... I'm so sorry.

525
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:50,525
Me, too.

526
00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:53,150
That was the density theory

527
00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:53,150
I thought really worked.

528
00:10:53,233 --> 00:10:55,150
Really, Phil, what

529
00:10:53,233 --> 00:10:55,150
was your second choice?

530
00:10:55,233 --> 00:10:57,691
Well, that's all part

531
00:10:55,233 --> 00:10:57,691
of the process, isn't it?

532
00:10:57,775 --> 00:11:00,816
My theory actually invalidated

533
00:10:57,775 --> 00:11:00,816
someone else's.

534
00:10:57,775 --> 00:11:00,816
Mm.

535
00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:03,400
He jumped off a building ...

536
00:11:03,483 --> 00:11:05,441
just very dramatic.

537
00:11:05,525 --> 00:11:08,900
But, well, I'm British.

538
00:11:05,525 --> 00:11:08,900
So, no worries.

539
00:11:10,358 --> 00:11:12,691
What smells so good?

540
00:11:10,358 --> 00:11:12,691
Uh. Uh, it's the chicken!

541
00:11:12,775 --> 00:11:15,483
So, Bill,

542
00:11:12,775 --> 00:11:15,483
you are a firefighter?

543
00:11:15,566 --> 00:11:17,858
Yeah, my three favorite things

544
00:11:15,566 --> 00:11:17,858
are helping people,

545
00:11:17,941 --> 00:11:20,358
sliding down poles,

546
00:11:17,941 --> 00:11:20,358
and hanging off trucks,

547
00:11:20,441 --> 00:11:22,733
so I figured might as well

548
00:11:20,441 --> 00:11:22,733
make a career out of it.

549
00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:23,983
Well, it's good that

550
00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:23,983
your favorite things

551
00:11:24,066 --> 00:11:27,566
weren't chloroform, duct tape,

552
00:11:24,066 --> 00:11:27,566
and windowless vans.

553
00:11:29,275 --> 00:11:32,900
Claire, the joke is

554
00:11:29,275 --> 00:11:32,900
he'd be a kidnapper.

555
00:11:32,983 --> 00:11:34,108
I got it.

556
00:11:34,191 --> 00:11:36,775
You know, Phil used to think

557
00:11:34,191 --> 00:11:36,775
it was "duck" tape.

558
00:11:36,858 --> 00:11:38,441
Like, duck.

559
00:11:38,525 --> 00:11:40,941
Claire didn't understand

560
00:11:38,525 --> 00:11:40,941
the ending of La La Land.

561
00:11:41,025 --> 00:11:43,566
Sorry. They're not

562
00:11:41,025 --> 00:11:43,566
normally like this.

563
00:11:43,650 --> 00:11:44,775
Clearly, they're

564
00:11:43,650 --> 00:11:44,775
going through something

565
00:11:44,858 --> 00:11:47,150
they can't even drop

566
00:11:44,858 --> 00:11:47,150
for one important lunch.

567
00:11:47,233 --> 00:11:48,275
They're arguing over

568
00:11:47,233 --> 00:11:48,275
who's smarter,

569
00:11:48,358 --> 00:11:49,650
and there's only one way

570
00:11:48,358 --> 00:11:49,650
to settle it.

571
00:11:49,733 --> 00:11:51,775
Another time, in the presence

572
00:11:49,733 --> 00:11:51,775
of a marriage counselor?

573
00:11:51,858 --> 00:11:52,941
Nope. Brain Battle.

574
00:11:53,025 --> 00:11:54,108
No. No, we're not doing

575
00:11:53,025 --> 00:11:54,108
that right now.

576
00:11:54,191 --> 00:11:57,066
I'm so sorry, Arvin.

577
00:11:54,191 --> 00:11:57,066
We're being silly.

578
00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:58,608
"How many presidents

579
00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:58,608
died in office?"

580
00:11:58,691 --> 00:11:59,941
- Eight.

581
00:11:58,691 --> 00:11:59,941
- Six.

582
00:12:00,025 --> 00:12:01,150
The correct answer

583
00:12:00,025 --> 00:12:01,150
is eight.

584
00:12:01,233 --> 00:12:03,400
Ha! Ha!

585
00:12:01,233 --> 00:12:03,400
Damn it.

586
00:12:01,233 --> 00:12:03,400
Give me another one.

587
00:12:03,483 --> 00:12:05,316
Why was six afraid of seven?

588
00:12:06,483 --> 00:12:08,733
'Cause seven, eight, nine.

589
00:12:10,483 --> 00:12:11,483
You know,

590
00:12:10,483 --> 00:12:11,483
like he "ate" it.

591
00:12:11,566 --> 00:12:12,983
"Who wrote Moby-Dick?"

592
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,816
Herman Munster.

593
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,816
Herman Munster.

594
00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:16,858
Herman Melville.

595
00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:16,858
Melville!

596
00:12:16,941 --> 00:12:19,483
"How many moons

597
00:12:16,941 --> 00:12:19,483
does Jupiter have?"

598
00:12:20,025 --> 00:12:23,650
Oh, is it alright

599
00:12:20,025 --> 00:12:23,650
if I take this one?

600
00:12:20,025 --> 00:12:23,650
Mm-hmm.

601
00:12:23,733 --> 00:12:25,816
27.

602
00:12:23,733 --> 00:12:25,816
67.

603
00:12:25,900 --> 00:12:28,108
Hmm? No, that's ...

604
00:12:25,900 --> 00:12:28,108
that's wrong.

605
00:12:28,191 --> 00:12:32,525
67 is Uranus and Jupiter's 27,

606
00:12:28,191 --> 00:12:32,525
right, Alex?

607
00:12:32,608 --> 00:12:33,650
Actually, no.

608
00:12:33,733 --> 00:12:36,066
But it's

609
00:12:33,733 --> 00:12:36,066
a simple mistake, though.

610
00:12:36,150 --> 00:12:37,483
You just flipped them.

611
00:12:37,566 --> 00:12:38,941
Well, this is mortifying,

612
00:12:37,566 --> 00:12:38,941
isn't it?

613
00:12:39,025 --> 00:12:42,483
I have a doctorate

614
00:12:39,025 --> 00:12:42,483
in astrophysics. Idiot.

615
00:12:42,566 --> 00:12:46,650
First, some puffed-up Swedes

616
00:12:42,566 --> 00:12:46,650
invalidate my life's work.

617
00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:50,233
And then I'm bested by

618
00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:50,233
a little bedtime gurgle cup!

619
00:12:50,316 --> 00:12:53,358
I'm sorry.

620
00:12:50,316 --> 00:12:53,358
I'm going to need a moment.

621
00:12:53,441 --> 00:12:55,566
67 moons.

622
00:12:53,441 --> 00:12:55,566
What an idiot.

623
00:12:57,150 --> 00:12:59,025
Well, all's I know is

624
00:12:59,108 --> 00:13:00,775
the Earth only has one moon

625
00:13:00,858 --> 00:13:02,025
and I saw a documentary

626
00:13:02,108 --> 00:13:04,108
and, uh, we didn't even

627
00:13:02,108 --> 00:13:04,108
land on it.

628
00:13:04,191 --> 00:13:06,108
Oh, my God,

629
00:13:04,191 --> 00:13:06,108
stop talking.

630
00:13:06,816 --> 00:13:09,775
You know,

631
00:13:06,816 --> 00:13:09,775
you're being kind of mean.

632
00:13:09,858 --> 00:13:11,275
I'm gonna need

633
00:13:09,858 --> 00:13:11,275
a moment, too.

634
00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:12,733
This is why I don't bring

635
00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:12,733
boyfriends home.

636
00:13:12,816 --> 00:13:15,858
Why didn't you ask me before

637
00:13:12,816 --> 00:13:15,858
inviting him to lunch?

638
00:13:18,358 --> 00:13:20,816
"This Paul Newman character

639
00:13:18,358 --> 00:13:20,816
had a 'cool hand'?"

640
00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:22,816
Luke!

641
00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:22,816
Yep.

642
00:13:22,900 --> 00:13:24,233
Counts! Counts.

643
00:13:24,316 --> 00:13:29,400
Henry's dad climbed the wall

644
00:13:24,316 --> 00:13:29,400
with one hand! It was awesome!

645
00:13:29,483 --> 00:13:31,525
Yeah, well, his career

646
00:13:29,483 --> 00:13:31,525
rides on Matt Damon

647
00:13:31,608 --> 00:13:33,858
not doing any artsy,

648
00:13:31,608 --> 00:13:33,858
think-y movies,

649
00:13:33,941 --> 00:13:35,150
so I wouldn't

650
00:13:33,941 --> 00:13:35,150
count on Henry

651
00:13:35,233 --> 00:13:37,066
going to your school

652
00:13:35,233 --> 00:13:37,066
much longer.

653
00:13:39,733 --> 00:13:42,358
What the hell?

654
00:13:39,733 --> 00:13:42,358
I made that light.

655
00:13:42,441 --> 00:13:43,983
Oh, geez.

656
00:13:42,441 --> 00:13:43,983
Another ticket.

657
00:13:44,066 --> 00:13:46,275
Henry's mom drove a tank!

658
00:13:46,358 --> 00:13:48,983
Henry's mom!

659
00:13:46,358 --> 00:13:48,983
Henry's mom!

660
00:13:49,066 --> 00:13:50,775
What are you doing,

661
00:13:49,066 --> 00:13:50,775
Gloria?

662
00:13:50,858 --> 00:13:52,733
I want to see

663
00:13:50,858 --> 00:13:52,733
Henry's mom do this!

664
00:13:57,025 --> 00:13:59,233
Yay! He's chasing us!

665
00:13:59,316 --> 00:14:00,400
This feels like

666
00:13:59,316 --> 00:14:00,400
a bad idea.

667
00:14:00,483 --> 00:14:02,025
Okay, too late, because

668
00:14:00,483 --> 00:14:02,025
I'm already committed!

669
00:14:02,108 --> 00:14:03,400
Heart rate ... high.

670
00:14:03,483 --> 00:14:05,566
Heart rate ... high.

671
00:14:03,483 --> 00:14:05,566
What is the plan,

672
00:14:03,483 --> 00:14:05,566
Gloria?

673
00:14:05,650 --> 00:14:06,691
We're going to the mall!

674
00:14:06,775 --> 00:14:08,191
You know I tease you

675
00:14:06,775 --> 00:14:08,191
about your shopping,

676
00:14:08,275 --> 00:14:10,650
but you do

677
00:14:08,275 --> 00:14:10,650
have a problem.

678
00:14:13,775 --> 00:14:16,691
Okay. Get down

679
00:14:13,775 --> 00:14:16,691
and don't move.

680
00:14:16,775 --> 00:14:20,191
That's gonna be tough.

681
00:14:16,775 --> 00:14:20,191
I can smell Cinnabon.

682
00:14:23,858 --> 00:14:25,066
Hey!

683
00:14:25,150 --> 00:14:26,650
Where have you been?

684
00:14:25,150 --> 00:14:26,650
Oh, hey.

685
00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:28,316
I just stayed in the tank

686
00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:28,316
a little ... a little extra.

687
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:29,358
How ... What a great

688
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:29,358
experience.

689
00:14:29,441 --> 00:14:31,233
Just being alone

690
00:14:29,441 --> 00:14:31,233
with yourself ... Oh!

691
00:14:31,316 --> 00:14:32,566
Oh, I was never alone.

692
00:14:32,650 --> 00:14:33,900
I-I saw the face

693
00:14:32,650 --> 00:14:33,900
of every bully,

694
00:14:33,983 --> 00:14:36,275
I replayed every

695
00:14:33,983 --> 00:14:36,275
humiliation ...

696
00:14:36,358 --> 00:14:37,441
Okay. Is this about

697
00:14:36,358 --> 00:14:37,441
"Bett" Davis again?

698
00:14:37,525 --> 00:14:39,691
Okay, we had just watched

699
00:14:37,525 --> 00:14:39,691
Ruthless People.

700
00:14:39,775 --> 00:14:41,983
You're thinking Midler.

701
00:14:39,775 --> 00:14:41,983
You gotta let it go.

702
00:14:42,025 --> 00:14:43,066
I know.

703
00:14:42,025 --> 00:14:43,066
I'm ... I'm gonna try.

704
00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:44,900
But as scared

705
00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:44,900
as I was in there,

706
00:14:44,983 --> 00:14:46,400
I kept thinking

707
00:14:44,983 --> 00:14:46,400
about how

708
00:14:46,483 --> 00:14:48,233
you're the one person

709
00:14:46,483 --> 00:14:48,233
who makes me feel safe.

710
00:14:48,316 --> 00:14:51,316
And it ... it made me want to be

711
00:14:48,316 --> 00:14:51,316
a better husband...

712
00:14:48,316 --> 00:14:51,316
Aww.

713
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:52,400
to be more present,

714
00:14:52,483 --> 00:14:54,066
to be more understanding,

715
00:14:52,483 --> 00:14:54,066
to ...

716
00:14:54,150 --> 00:14:57,275
Why's ...

717
00:14:54,150 --> 00:14:57,275
Why's your face red?

718
00:14:54,150 --> 00:14:57,275
Oh, is it?

719
00:14:57,358 --> 00:14:58,441
Yeah.

720
00:14:57,358 --> 00:14:58,441
Is it?

721
00:14:58,525 --> 00:14:59,608
Oh, just probably 'cause

722
00:14:58,525 --> 00:14:59,608
of the toxins, you know ...

723
00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:00,775
And your arms, too,

724
00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:00,775
but only up to the ...

725
00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:03,108
You have a farmer's tan.

726
00:15:03,191 --> 00:15:05,025
What have I told you

727
00:15:03,191 --> 00:15:05,025
about that expression?

728
00:15:03,191 --> 00:15:05,025
I can say it, but ...

729
00:15:05,108 --> 00:15:07,816
Oh, my ...

730
00:15:05,108 --> 00:15:07,816
T-That's why you're burned.

731
00:15:07,900 --> 00:15:09,233
You went Royal watching!

732
00:15:09,316 --> 00:15:10,858
I was only gonna stay for

733
00:15:09,316 --> 00:15:10,858
a second, but George Brett ...

734
00:15:10,941 --> 00:15:12,358
George ... George Brett

735
00:15:10,941 --> 00:15:12,358
cornered me.

736
00:15:12,441 --> 00:15:13,650
Who?

737
00:15:12,441 --> 00:15:13,650
And you know how I am

738
00:15:12,441 --> 00:15:13,650
with famous people.

739
00:15:13,733 --> 00:15:14,816
I can't say "No."

740
00:15:14,900 --> 00:15:16,983
Remember when I spent

741
00:15:14,900 --> 00:15:16,983
the entire day at the pool

742
00:15:17,066 --> 00:15:18,400
with Downtown Julie Brown?

743
00:15:18,483 --> 00:15:19,775
You shamed me

744
00:15:18,483 --> 00:15:19,775
into coming here

745
00:15:19,858 --> 00:15:22,733
only to leave me soaking in a ...

746
00:15:19,858 --> 00:15:22,733
in a bowl of trauma soup?

747
00:15:22,816 --> 00:15:23,941
Okay, whoa, whoa.

748
00:15:22,816 --> 00:15:23,941
W-What happened about be...

749
00:15:24,025 --> 00:15:25,400
being more understanding?

750
00:15:25,483 --> 00:15:26,941
I-I can't believe you're turning

751
00:15:25,483 --> 00:15:26,941
this into my fault.

752
00:15:27,025 --> 00:15:28,275
This is so like you, Cam.

753
00:15:27,025 --> 00:15:28,275
This ...

754
00:15:28,358 --> 00:15:29,566
Hello, again.

755
00:15:29,650 --> 00:15:32,441
Please follow me to

756
00:15:29,650 --> 00:15:32,441
your guided silent meditation.

757
00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:35,233
Before we begin,

758
00:15:35,316 --> 00:15:37,858
the chef has asked me

759
00:15:35,316 --> 00:15:37,858
to reassure everyone

760
00:15:37,941 --> 00:15:39,983
that there's nothing wrong

761
00:15:37,941 --> 00:15:39,983
with the tempeh.

762
00:15:40,066 --> 00:15:42,941
It's supposed to

763
00:15:40,066 --> 00:15:42,941
taste that way.

764
00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:43,941
Alright.

765
00:15:44,066 --> 00:15:47,233
Deep breath.

766
00:15:44,066 --> 00:15:47,233
In through the nose.

767
00:15:47,316 --> 00:15:48,566
Out through the mouth.

768
00:15:48,650 --> 00:15:52,191
Only in silence can we

769
00:15:48,650 --> 00:15:52,191
be truly present.

770
00:15:52,275 --> 00:15:53,691
But be prepared ...

771
00:15:53,775 --> 00:15:55,900
errant feelings may arise.

772
00:15:55,983 --> 00:15:59,691
Anxiety, doubt, anger...

773
00:15:59,775 --> 00:16:01,025
Now, take a breath

774
00:16:01,108 --> 00:16:05,025
and let those feelings pass

775
00:16:01,108 --> 00:16:05,025
like clouds in the sky.

776
00:16:05,108 --> 00:16:08,191
The tension is melting away.

777
00:16:08,275 --> 00:16:09,691
That's it.

778
00:16:09,775 --> 00:16:15,858
Live in this moment of serenity

779
00:16:09,775 --> 00:16:15,858
and stillness.

780
00:16:15,941 --> 00:16:19,275
We're so accustomed to

781
00:16:15,941 --> 00:16:19,275
going, going, going.

782
00:16:19,358 --> 00:16:23,191
But we need to just stop.

783
00:16:23,275 --> 00:16:25,025
Ask yourself

784
00:16:23,275 --> 00:16:25,025
the important questions.

785
00:16:25,108 --> 00:16:29,400
Are you running away

786
00:16:25,108 --> 00:16:29,400
from difficult feelings?

787
00:16:30,983 --> 00:16:33,775
Are you holding on

788
00:16:30,983 --> 00:16:33,775
to petty grievances?

789
00:16:35,941 --> 00:16:38,525
Are you being the best you?

790
00:16:39,316 --> 00:16:42,191
It's not too late

791
00:16:39,316 --> 00:16:42,191
to find your way back.

792
00:16:42,275 --> 00:16:44,441
To the light,

793
00:16:44,525 --> 00:16:46,983
to forgiveness,

794
00:16:47,025 --> 00:16:50,191
to love.

795
00:16:50,275 --> 00:16:51,191
It was amazing.

796
00:16:51,275 --> 00:16:52,400
There were no words,

797
00:16:52,483 --> 00:16:53,900
but I could feel Cam

798
00:16:53,983 --> 00:16:56,400
taking full responsibility

799
00:16:53,983 --> 00:16:56,400
for our fight.

800
00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:59,358
Total silence,

801
00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:59,358
but Mitchell's eyes said,

802
00:16:59,441 --> 00:17:00,691
"It's all on me."

803
00:17:00,775 --> 00:17:03,900
You know, "I was wrong.

804
00:17:00,775 --> 00:17:03,900
What would I do without you?"

805
00:17:03,983 --> 00:17:05,650
It was a beautiful weekend.

806
00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:07,233
Plus, George Brett

807
00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:07,233
signed my ball.

808
00:17:08,525 --> 00:17:10,775
Oh, "To Cam, all my best wishes,

809
00:17:08,525 --> 00:17:10,775
George Brett.

810
00:17:10,858 --> 00:17:13,858
P.S. We are not done with this"?

811
00:17:13,941 --> 00:17:15,358
Mitchell!

812
00:17:15,441 --> 00:17:17,608
Did you write on my ball?

813
00:17:18,483 --> 00:17:21,275
Hey, where's Bill?

814
00:17:21,358 --> 00:17:22,691
I don't know.

815
00:17:21,358 --> 00:17:22,691
He's probably outside.

816
00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:24,941
When he gets agitated,

817
00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:24,941
he likes to climb stuff.

818
00:17:25,025 --> 00:17:27,983
That lunch was insane.

819
00:17:25,025 --> 00:17:27,983
Can you believe Mom and Dad?

820
00:17:28,025 --> 00:17:30,608
No, and, uh,

821
00:17:28,025 --> 00:17:30,608
I can't believe you, either.

822
00:17:30,691 --> 00:17:32,191
You're so mean to Bill.

823
00:17:32,275 --> 00:17:33,441
What do you have

824
00:17:32,275 --> 00:17:33,441
against hot people?

825
00:17:33,525 --> 00:17:35,566
What did we ever

826
00:17:33,525 --> 00:17:35,566
do to you?

827
00:17:33,525 --> 00:17:35,566
You lost me.

828
00:17:35,650 --> 00:17:36,941
You're gonna blow it

829
00:17:35,650 --> 00:17:36,941
with that guy,

830
00:17:37,025 --> 00:17:38,358
and he's really nice.

831
00:17:38,441 --> 00:17:40,400
Why do you have to

832
00:17:38,441 --> 00:17:40,400
make him feel so dumb?

833
00:17:40,483 --> 00:17:41,858
Okay, you don't know

834
00:17:40,483 --> 00:17:41,858
what you're talking about.

835
00:17:41,941 --> 00:17:43,066
Oh, yes, I do.

836
00:17:43,150 --> 00:17:45,191
Because it's the same way

837
00:17:43,150 --> 00:17:45,191
you've always treated me.

838
00:17:45,275 --> 00:17:46,650
It sucks.

839
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:49,233
You know what Arvin

840
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:49,233
never does?

841
00:17:49,316 --> 00:17:50,483
Makes me feel

842
00:17:49,316 --> 00:17:50,483
less smart than him.

843
00:17:50,566 --> 00:17:53,316
So, who cares if Bill's

844
00:17:50,566 --> 00:17:53,316
not a member of Menses?

845
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,691
Look, this is the first

846
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,691
boyfriend you've ever had

847
00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:57,941
that is age appropriate,

848
00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:57,941
employed,

849
00:17:58,025 --> 00:18:00,150
and doesn't look like

850
00:17:58,025 --> 00:18:00,150
he's dying on a ship.

851
00:18:00,233 --> 00:18:01,316
I wouldn't say

852
00:18:00,233 --> 00:18:01,316
"boyfriend."

853
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:03,650
He's more like

854
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:03,650
a guilty pleasure.

855
00:18:03,733 --> 00:18:05,608
Guilty or not, that's the first

856
00:18:03,733 --> 00:18:05,608
time I've ever heard you

857
00:18:05,691 --> 00:18:07,566
describe a guy

858
00:18:05,691 --> 00:18:07,566
as a "pleasure."

859
00:18:15,025 --> 00:18:16,900
Bill, I'm sorry!

860
00:18:16,983 --> 00:18:18,066
All good, babe.

861
00:18:18,150 --> 00:18:20,858
You're the one fire

862
00:18:18,150 --> 00:18:20,858
I can't put out.

863
00:18:20,941 --> 00:18:23,441
Well, also grease

864
00:18:20,941 --> 00:18:23,441
is pretty tricky.

865
00:18:25,191 --> 00:18:27,733
Arvin?

866
00:18:27,816 --> 00:18:29,483
Oh.

867
00:18:29,566 --> 00:18:31,275
Arvin, hi.

868
00:18:29,566 --> 00:18:31,275
Are you okay?

869
00:18:31,358 --> 00:18:32,608
Yeah. Oh, yes. Yes.

870
00:18:32,691 --> 00:18:33,691
Um... yes.

871
00:18:33,775 --> 00:18:37,025
I-I'm ... I'm just

872
00:18:33,775 --> 00:18:37,025
a-a little embarrassed.

873
00:18:37,108 --> 00:18:38,191
We're the ones who should

874
00:18:37,108 --> 00:18:38,191
be embarrassed.

875
00:18:38,275 --> 00:18:40,983
We just made lunch

876
00:18:38,275 --> 00:18:40,983
so tense and weird.

877
00:18:41,066 --> 00:18:42,025
Yeah.

878
00:18:41,066 --> 00:18:42,025
Well, I'm ...

879
00:18:42,108 --> 00:18:45,400
I'm not terribly adept

880
00:18:42,108 --> 00:18:45,400
at handling failure.

881
00:18:45,483 --> 00:18:49,025
My parents are both

882
00:18:45,483 --> 00:18:49,025
overachieving academics ...

883
00:18:49,108 --> 00:18:51,650
a doctor of philosophy and a ...

884
00:18:49,108 --> 00:18:51,650
a doctor of mathematics.

885
00:18:51,733 --> 00:18:52,733
Oh.

886
00:18:51,733 --> 00:18:52,733
Wow!

887
00:18:52,816 --> 00:18:54,275
And Father is

888
00:18:52,816 --> 00:18:54,275
a doctor of medicine

889
00:18:54,358 --> 00:18:56,483
and a doctor of economics.

890
00:18:56,566 --> 00:18:59,150
Yeah. I'm sorry.

891
00:18:56,566 --> 00:18:59,150
I-I just need to shake it off.

892
00:18:59,233 --> 00:19:00,816
You know,

893
00:18:59,233 --> 00:19:00,816
stiff-upper-lip it.

894
00:19:00,900 --> 00:19:02,316
Yeah, it's fine.

895
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:04,025
Can we just pretend

896
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:04,025
it never happened?

897
00:19:04,108 --> 00:19:05,150
No.

898
00:19:05,233 --> 00:19:07,191
No, failure sucks.

899
00:19:07,275 --> 00:19:09,566
It's okay to feel bad.

900
00:19:09,650 --> 00:19:11,441
Yeah, wallow a little.

901
00:19:09,650 --> 00:19:11,441
Eat some ice cream.

902
00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:13,858
Day drink, that's how you

903
00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:13,858
come out the other side.

904
00:19:15,066 --> 00:19:17,733
You're ... You're like

905
00:19:15,066 --> 00:19:17,733
the inverse of my parents.

906
00:19:17,816 --> 00:19:19,150
Except the drinking.

907
00:19:19,233 --> 00:19:20,858
They're pickled

908
00:19:19,233 --> 00:19:20,858
most of the day.

909
00:19:20,941 --> 00:19:23,525
Well, you're not

910
00:19:20,941 --> 00:19:23,525
in their house.

911
00:19:23,608 --> 00:19:26,233
This is House Dunphy ...

912
00:19:23,608 --> 00:19:26,233
We fail here.

913
00:19:26,316 --> 00:19:27,816
Right. I mean,

914
00:19:26,316 --> 00:19:27,816
today our whole goal

915
00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:29,858
was to impress you.

916
00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:29,858
We made fools of ourselves.

917
00:19:29,941 --> 00:19:32,400
I have a magic shop that's

918
00:19:29,941 --> 00:19:32,400
bleeding money ... thousands.

919
00:19:32,483 --> 00:19:34,108
What?

920
00:19:32,483 --> 00:19:34,108
It's fine.

921
00:19:34,191 --> 00:19:35,650
Hey, what's all this, then?

922
00:19:34,191 --> 00:19:35,650
Oh, whoa.

923
00:19:35,733 --> 00:19:37,983
Did I get that from you?

924
00:19:35,733 --> 00:19:37,983
Am I becoming Madonna?

925
00:19:38,066 --> 00:19:40,608
Your parents were actually

926
00:19:38,066 --> 00:19:40,608
being quite lovely.

927
00:19:40,691 --> 00:19:42,733
Thank you for

928
00:19:40,691 --> 00:19:42,733
taking the time.

929
00:19:43,566 --> 00:19:46,900
Oh, and my parents' walls

930
00:19:43,566 --> 00:19:46,900
may be adorned

931
00:19:46,983 --> 00:19:48,650
with nothing

932
00:19:46,983 --> 00:19:48,650
but degrees and awards,

933
00:19:48,733 --> 00:19:53,691
but they don't have one tenth

934
00:19:48,733 --> 00:19:53,691
of your emotional intelligence.

935
00:19:53,775 --> 00:19:55,816
Aww!

936
00:19:53,775 --> 00:19:55,816
Thank you.

937
00:19:55,900 --> 00:19:58,858
But would you say it's an

938
00:19:55,900 --> 00:19:58,858
absolutely equal emotional...

939
00:19:55,900 --> 00:19:58,858
If you had to

940
00:19:55,900 --> 00:19:58,858
pick a winner ...

941
00:19:58,941 --> 00:20:00,025
Okay, stop it.

942
00:19:58,941 --> 00:20:00,025
intelligence.

943
00:19:58,941 --> 00:20:00,025
Just ...

944
00:20:02,025 --> 00:20:04,483
That was so fun.

945
00:20:04,566 --> 00:20:05,816
My heart is racing.

946
00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:08,441
You? My watch dialed

947
00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:08,441
my cardiologist.

948
00:20:08,525 --> 00:20:10,608
I've never run

949
00:20:08,525 --> 00:20:10,608
from the cops before.

950
00:20:10,691 --> 00:20:12,108
Me either.

951
00:20:12,191 --> 00:20:14,441
Lights!

952
00:20:14,525 --> 00:20:17,733
I can't wait to tell everyone

953
00:20:14,525 --> 00:20:17,733
how cool you guys are!

954
00:20:17,816 --> 00:20:19,358
We're not cool, Joe.

955
00:20:19,441 --> 00:20:20,733
That's not

956
00:20:19,441 --> 00:20:20,733
what people do

957
00:20:20,816 --> 00:20:21,983
when a policeman

958
00:20:20,816 --> 00:20:21,983
pulls them over.

959
00:20:22,066 --> 00:20:23,900
In fact, there's nothing

960
00:20:22,066 --> 00:20:23,900
cool about us.

961
00:20:23,983 --> 00:20:25,983
Well, I don't think

962
00:20:23,983 --> 00:20:25,983
we should be lumped into ...

963
00:20:26,066 --> 00:20:27,983
Lights!

964
00:20:28,066 --> 00:20:30,233
Joe, there are more important

965
00:20:28,066 --> 00:20:30,233
things than being cool.

966
00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:32,066
Uh, like what?

967
00:20:32,150 --> 00:20:33,608
Look, the point is, Joe,

968
00:20:32,150 --> 00:20:33,608
we love you too much

969
00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:37,025
to let you think dumb moves

970
00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:37,025
like this are okay.

971
00:20:37,108 --> 00:20:39,941
So, what do we do now?

972
00:20:40,025 --> 00:20:41,650
We're gonna do

973
00:20:40,025 --> 00:20:41,650
the right thing.

974
00:20:47,275 --> 00:20:48,941
Officer!

975
00:20:49,025 --> 00:20:50,108
Uh...

976
00:20:54,608 --> 00:20:56,608
Where's Cinnabon?

977
00:20:58,525 --> 00:21:01,275
Sure enough, they call me out

978
00:20:58,525 --> 00:21:01,275
for using too much pine tar.

979
00:21:01,358 --> 00:21:04,816
I run out there and just go

980
00:21:01,358 --> 00:21:04,816
berserk on these umpires.

981
00:21:04,900 --> 00:21:06,191
But everybody

982
00:21:04,900 --> 00:21:06,191
remembers ...

983
00:21:04,900 --> 00:21:06,191
Ugh!

984
00:21:06,275 --> 00:21:07,650
Watch out.

985
00:21:06,275 --> 00:21:07,650
That's a base.

986
00:21:06,275 --> 00:21:07,650
Yeah. Yeah.

987
00:21:07,733 --> 00:21:08,941
That's third base.

988
00:21:07,733 --> 00:21:08,941
Third base.

989
00:21:09,025 --> 00:21:10,233
That's where I used to play.

990
00:21:09,025 --> 00:21:10,233
You remember that?

991
00:21:10,316 --> 00:21:11,941
Yeah. Yeah.

992
00:21:10,316 --> 00:21:11,941
Should we do ...

993
00:21:12,025 --> 00:21:13,775
So, when you would

994
00:21:12,025 --> 00:21:13,775
stand here,

995
00:21:13,858 --> 00:21:15,691
you would just kind of basically

996
00:21:13,858 --> 00:21:15,691
be in an athletic ...

997
00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:17,025
I played college

998
00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:17,025
football ...

999
00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:17,025
You would get here.

1000
00:21:17,108 --> 00:21:18,733
You would get

1001
00:21:17,108 --> 00:21:18,733
right here like this and say,

1002
00:21:18,816 --> 00:21:20,025
"Please don't

1003
00:21:18,816 --> 00:21:20,025
hit it to me."

1004
00:21:21,108 --> 00:21:22,525
That's how I feel!

1005
00:21:22,608 --> 00:21:23,858
I'm gonna get you back!

1006
00:21:28,358 --> 00:21:31,066
Captions by VITAC :