1 00:00:01,916 --> 00:00:03,166 Didn't you 2 00:00:01,916 --> 00:00:03,166 just cut his hair? 3 00:00:03,250 --> 00:00:06,708 Yes, but it's his kindergarten 4 00:00:03,250 --> 00:00:06,708 graduation party today. 5 00:00:06,791 --> 00:00:09,375 Okay, no messy goodbyes, 6 00:00:06,791 --> 00:00:09,375 I'm out of here. 7 00:00:09,458 --> 00:00:10,875 Ay, papi, 8 00:00:09,458 --> 00:00:10,875 I'm going to miss you. 9 00:00:10,958 --> 00:00:14,791 Can you at least stay for the 10 00:00:10,958 --> 00:00:14,791 party that I'm making for Joe? 11 00:00:14,875 --> 00:00:16,416 Mom, 12 00:00:14,875 --> 00:00:16,416 Mrs. Nussbaum is paying me 13 00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:18,333 to get her car to Delaware 14 00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:18,333 by Friday at noon. 15 00:00:18,416 --> 00:00:20,208 I already lost an hour 16 00:00:18,416 --> 00:00:20,208 looking for my driving gloves. 17 00:00:20,291 --> 00:00:21,708 You're plowing through 18 00:00:20,291 --> 00:00:21,708 the heartlands 19 00:00:21,791 --> 00:00:23,250 in an inchworm-green Camry 20 00:00:23,333 --> 00:00:25,500 with a bumper sticker that says 21 00:00:23,333 --> 00:00:25,500 "Meat is Murder." 22 00:00:25,583 --> 00:00:27,458 I hid these gloves 23 00:00:25,583 --> 00:00:27,458 for a reason. 24 00:00:27,541 --> 00:00:31,625 Listen, uh, we weren't kidding 25 00:00:27,541 --> 00:00:31,625 about you being careful. 26 00:00:31,708 --> 00:00:35,708 And, uh, not to get dramatic, 27 00:00:31,708 --> 00:00:35,708 keep your wits about you. 28 00:00:35,791 --> 00:00:38,083 Here. 29 00:00:35,791 --> 00:00:38,083 What the hell is that? 30 00:00:38,166 --> 00:00:39,875 It's an air freshener. 31 00:00:38,166 --> 00:00:39,875 What does it look like? 32 00:00:39,958 --> 00:00:41,416 I'm going on 33 00:00:39,958 --> 00:00:41,416 the Martha Stewart 34 00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:42,791 bed-and-breakfast 35 00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:42,791 tour of America, 36 00:00:42,875 --> 00:00:44,500 not an Aboriginal 37 00:00:42,875 --> 00:00:44,500 manhood quest. 38 00:00:44,583 --> 00:00:45,791 I'm not saying 39 00:00:44,583 --> 00:00:45,791 you're gonna need it, 40 00:00:45,875 --> 00:00:47,208 just better safe 41 00:00:45,875 --> 00:00:47,208 than sorry. 42 00:00:47,291 --> 00:00:48,916 Slash, don't stab. 43 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:49,958 Uh ... 44 00:00:50,041 --> 00:00:53,083 Stop wiggling. 45 00:00:50,041 --> 00:00:53,083 I'm almost done. 46 00:00:55,458 --> 00:00:56,875 Why'd you gasp? 47 00:00:57,833 --> 00:01:01,041 Ah! 48 00:00:57,833 --> 00:01:01,041 My hair is my identity! 49 00:01:15,750 --> 00:01:18,458 Uh, Cam? Uh, turns out I have to 50 00:01:15,750 --> 00:01:18,458 do that work thing after all. 51 00:01:18,541 --> 00:01:19,791 I'll meet you 52 00:01:18,541 --> 00:01:19,791 at Joe's party? 53 00:01:19,875 --> 00:01:22,291 Oh, okay. Cal, come give your 54 00:01:19,875 --> 00:01:22,291 Uncle Mitchell a hug. 55 00:01:22,375 --> 00:01:23,375 Hug! 56 00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:24,541 No. No, no hug. 57 00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:24,541 No ... where is he? 58 00:01:24,625 --> 00:01:26,125 Which way is he coming from? 59 00:01:24,625 --> 00:01:26,125 Coming from? 60 00:01:26,208 --> 00:01:28,416 Ahhh! 61 00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:31,083 Cam's sister's son 62 00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:31,083 is staying with us 63 00:01:31,166 --> 00:01:32,541 because, well, you know, 64 00:01:31,166 --> 00:01:32,541 she's back in jail. 65 00:01:32,625 --> 00:01:34,458 But she didn't do 66 00:01:32,625 --> 00:01:34,458 anything terrible. 67 00:01:34,541 --> 00:01:35,958 She just didn't understand 68 00:01:36,041 --> 00:01:37,541 the rules of her probation 69 00:01:36,041 --> 00:01:37,541 from last time, when ... 70 00:01:37,625 --> 00:01:39,250 When she did something 71 00:01:37,625 --> 00:01:39,250 a little terrible. 72 00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:40,458 But we're taking 73 00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:40,458 baby Cal 74 00:01:40,541 --> 00:01:42,500 back to live with my parents 75 00:01:40,541 --> 00:01:42,500 on the farm. 76 00:01:42,583 --> 00:01:44,791 Which is a good thing 77 00:01:42,583 --> 00:01:44,791 because he's not really a ... 78 00:01:44,875 --> 00:01:46,166 a house baby. 79 00:01:46,250 --> 00:01:49,000 No, no, he's freakishly strong 80 00:01:46,250 --> 00:01:49,000 and off the charts size-wise. 81 00:01:49,083 --> 00:01:51,125 On the charts. 82 00:01:49,083 --> 00:01:51,125 99th percentile. 83 00:01:51,208 --> 00:01:54,166 He has two teeth and I've seen 84 00:01:51,208 --> 00:01:54,166 him eat a whole chicken. 85 00:01:54,250 --> 00:01:55,208 Mm-hmm. 86 00:01:55,291 --> 00:01:56,458 All right, I got to go. 87 00:01:56,541 --> 00:01:57,708 Wait, where's my hug? 88 00:01:57,791 --> 00:02:01,041 - Hug! 89 00:01:57,791 --> 00:02:01,041 - Go! Go! Save yourself! 90 00:02:01,125 --> 00:02:02,541 Ohh. Yep. 91 00:02:01,125 --> 00:02:02,541 Okay. 92 00:02:02,625 --> 00:02:04,166 - Hey. 93 00:02:02,625 --> 00:02:04,166 - Hey! 94 00:02:04,250 --> 00:02:06,541 Our costumes are in the back. 95 00:02:06,625 --> 00:02:07,875 Phil and I 96 00:02:06,625 --> 00:02:07,875 are going to Hero-Con 97 00:02:07,958 --> 00:02:10,666 to indulge in our love 98 00:02:07,958 --> 00:02:10,666 of fantasy fiction. 99 00:02:10,750 --> 00:02:12,000 Um, I-I've always 100 00:02:10,750 --> 00:02:12,000 wanted to go, 101 00:02:12,083 --> 00:02:13,416 but I-it's a little 102 00:02:12,083 --> 00:02:13,416 nerd-forward, 103 00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:15,791 and I was always afraid 104 00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:15,791 my family would make fun of me. 105 00:02:15,875 --> 00:02:17,500 So I've asked Phil 106 00:02:15,875 --> 00:02:17,500 to keep it between us. 107 00:02:17,583 --> 00:02:19,708 That's why we chose 108 00:02:17,583 --> 00:02:19,708 our secret warrior signal. 109 00:02:19,791 --> 00:02:21,583 My first suggestion 110 00:02:19,791 --> 00:02:21,583 was to blow a Viking horn. 111 00:02:21,666 --> 00:02:23,250 Don't ever Google that, 112 00:02:21,666 --> 00:02:23,250 by the way. 113 00:02:21,666 --> 00:02:23,250 I already did. 114 00:02:23,333 --> 00:02:26,083 This year, there's a panel, 115 00:02:23,333 --> 00:02:26,083 um, on our favorite show, 116 00:02:26,166 --> 00:02:27,458 Clash of Swords. 117 00:02:27,541 --> 00:02:30,333 It's got a lot of graphic 118 00:02:27,541 --> 00:02:30,333 violence and female nudity, 119 00:02:30,416 --> 00:02:31,791 but that's 120 00:02:30,416 --> 00:02:31,791 part of its appeal 121 00:02:31,916 --> 00:02:35,333 to the fierce warrior 122 00:02:31,916 --> 00:02:35,333 inside every man. 123 00:02:35,416 --> 00:02:36,833 My eyeliner 124 00:02:35,416 --> 00:02:36,833 keeps smudging. 125 00:02:36,916 --> 00:02:38,666 Thanks a lot, 126 00:02:36,916 --> 00:02:38,666 gal at the MAC counter. 127 00:02:38,750 --> 00:02:40,166 Who cares? 128 00:02:38,750 --> 00:02:40,166 We look great. 129 00:02:40,250 --> 00:02:41,458 Let's do this! 130 00:02:41,541 --> 00:02:45,041 Just remember we left our trusty 131 00:02:41,541 --> 00:02:45,041 steed in section 22B. 132 00:02:45,125 --> 00:02:45,958 I can't do it, Phil. 133 00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:47,208 Oh, okay. 134 00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:47,208 I can write it down. 135 00:02:47,291 --> 00:02:50,208 No, no. I-I-I thought 136 00:02:47,291 --> 00:02:50,208 I was ready, but I'm not. 137 00:02:50,291 --> 00:02:52,666 I'm not. I-I've fantasized 138 00:02:50,291 --> 00:02:52,666 so long about coming, 139 00:02:52,750 --> 00:02:54,958 and now that ... that we're here, 140 00:02:52,750 --> 00:02:54,958 I am... 141 00:02:55,041 --> 00:02:58,000 I'm mortified, okay? 142 00:02:55,041 --> 00:02:58,000 I'm a 40-year-old man. 143 00:02:58,083 --> 00:02:59,208 No, you're not. 144 00:02:59,291 --> 00:03:01,458 You're a 390-year-old 145 00:02:59,291 --> 00:03:01,458 Highland Norph, 146 00:03:01,541 --> 00:03:03,541 and you're walking in 147 00:03:01,541 --> 00:03:03,541 with a lifer. 148 00:03:03,625 --> 00:03:07,625 This baby gets us all-access 149 00:03:03,625 --> 00:03:07,625 and two free yards of mead. 150 00:03:07,708 --> 00:03:10,958 Through those doors 151 00:03:07,708 --> 00:03:10,958 lies your destiny. 152 00:03:11,041 --> 00:03:13,041 What's the Galderean word 153 00:03:11,041 --> 00:03:13,041 for "bravery"? 154 00:03:13,125 --> 00:03:14,125 Lochtani. 155 00:03:14,208 --> 00:03:15,875 - Again! 156 00:03:14,208 --> 00:03:15,875 - Lochtani. 157 00:03:15,958 --> 00:03:19,041 Namu oponggi su-whi-gorth! 158 00:03:19,125 --> 00:03:20,291 Have you seen Margaret? 159 00:03:20,375 --> 00:03:21,500 I need her to 160 00:03:20,375 --> 00:03:21,500 clear my day. 161 00:03:21,583 --> 00:03:24,333 I just found out you can get 162 00:03:21,583 --> 00:03:24,333 the Golf Channel online. 163 00:03:24,416 --> 00:03:25,625 Nope, 164 00:03:24,416 --> 00:03:25,625 she's out sick again. 165 00:03:25,708 --> 00:03:26,958 Oh, Dad, don't forget 166 00:03:25,708 --> 00:03:26,958 we're about to meet with 167 00:03:27,041 --> 00:03:28,625 those guys 168 00:03:27,041 --> 00:03:28,625 from that start-up. 169 00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:30,791 Oh, right, 170 00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:30,791 aspiring closeteers 171 00:03:30,875 --> 00:03:33,000 seeking advice from 172 00:03:30,875 --> 00:03:33,000 an industry legend. 173 00:03:33,083 --> 00:03:34,916 Yeah, just skip 174 00:03:33,083 --> 00:03:34,916 that part of your speech 175 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:36,750 where you say 176 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:36,750 "I didn't choose closets ..." 177 00:03:36,833 --> 00:03:38,333 They chose me! 178 00:03:38,416 --> 00:03:39,583 - Hey... 179 00:03:38,416 --> 00:03:39,583 - Oh. 180 00:03:39,666 --> 00:03:41,375 we didn't know where 181 00:03:39,666 --> 00:03:41,375 to hang up our puffer vests, 182 00:03:41,458 --> 00:03:44,083 so we just dropped them 183 00:03:41,458 --> 00:03:44,083 on some rando's desk. 184 00:03:44,166 --> 00:03:46,208 Hi. You must be the guys 185 00:03:44,166 --> 00:03:46,208 from EzraVision. 186 00:03:46,291 --> 00:03:48,291 Yes, I am Nick. 187 00:03:46,291 --> 00:03:48,291 And these are my guys. 188 00:03:48,375 --> 00:03:49,583 Jay Pritchett, 189 00:03:48,375 --> 00:03:49,583 obviously. 190 00:03:49,666 --> 00:03:52,125 Fellas, take a seat. 191 00:03:49,666 --> 00:03:52,125 Make yourself comfortable. 192 00:03:52,208 --> 00:03:54,083 Which one is gonna be holding 193 00:03:52,208 --> 00:03:54,083 the tape recorder? 194 00:03:54,166 --> 00:03:55,500 You know what? Why don't we just 195 00:03:54,166 --> 00:03:55,500 make this quick? 196 00:03:55,583 --> 00:03:57,208 We actually have to go hang out 197 00:03:55,583 --> 00:03:57,208 in a bike shop 198 00:03:57,291 --> 00:03:59,166 that only plays Drake. 199 00:03:59,250 --> 00:04:02,750 So here's our offer, 200 00:03:59,250 --> 00:04:02,750 best and final. 201 00:04:02,833 --> 00:04:03,958 Offer for what? 202 00:04:04,041 --> 00:04:05,833 For your company. 203 00:04:05,916 --> 00:04:07,000 We want to buy you out. 204 00:04:07,083 --> 00:04:08,750 I'm sorry, we thought 205 00:04:07,083 --> 00:04:08,750 that you were here to just, 206 00:04:08,833 --> 00:04:09,916 you know, get information. 207 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,000 Get out of here! 208 00:04:12,083 --> 00:04:13,291 Dad, if you would just 209 00:04:12,083 --> 00:04:13,291 let me speak ... 210 00:04:13,375 --> 00:04:14,666 Who do you think you are, 211 00:04:14,750 --> 00:04:16,250 marching in here like 212 00:04:14,750 --> 00:04:16,250 a bunch of hotshots? 213 00:04:16,333 --> 00:04:17,708 And why is nobody 214 00:04:16,333 --> 00:04:17,708 wearing socks? 215 00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,333 Ooh, lower the B.P., 216 00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,333 O.G. 217 00:04:19,416 --> 00:04:21,791 We're actually trying to 218 00:04:19,416 --> 00:04:21,791 do you a favor. 219 00:04:21,875 --> 00:04:24,291 Okay, I think 220 00:04:21,875 --> 00:04:24,291 you have this twisted. 221 00:04:24,375 --> 00:04:27,041 This company has been around 222 00:04:24,375 --> 00:04:27,041 since before you all were born. 223 00:04:27,125 --> 00:04:29,625 Except for maybe him. 224 00:04:27,125 --> 00:04:29,625 How is he part of this? 225 00:04:29,708 --> 00:04:30,791 This guy? 226 00:04:30,875 --> 00:04:32,500 That's our over-40 227 00:04:30,875 --> 00:04:32,500 diversity hire. 228 00:04:30,875 --> 00:04:32,500 Ah. 229 00:04:32,583 --> 00:04:35,750 Listen, we have developed 230 00:04:32,583 --> 00:04:35,750 smart-closet technology 231 00:04:35,833 --> 00:04:38,541 that's gonna make 232 00:04:35,833 --> 00:04:38,541 places like this obsolete. 233 00:04:38,625 --> 00:04:39,750 We are giving you 234 00:04:38,625 --> 00:04:39,750 a chance 235 00:04:39,833 --> 00:04:41,250 to get out 236 00:04:39,833 --> 00:04:41,250 while you're still ahead. 237 00:04:41,333 --> 00:04:44,375 Speaking of which ... 238 00:04:41,333 --> 00:04:44,375 Get out of here! 239 00:04:44,458 --> 00:04:46,875 Okay. 240 00:04:44,458 --> 00:04:46,875 Offer's good for 48 hours. 241 00:04:46,958 --> 00:04:48,083 Two get out of heres? 242 00:04:48,166 --> 00:04:49,375 - Do you believe these punks? 243 00:04:49,458 --> 00:04:51,375 I mean, and what was with 244 00:04:49,458 --> 00:04:51,375 all this eye contact? 245 00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:55,041 In my day, nerds had the decency 246 00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:55,041 to stare at their shoes! 247 00:04:55,125 --> 00:04:57,041 Their website 248 00:04:55,125 --> 00:04:57,041 looks legitimate. 249 00:04:57,125 --> 00:04:58,916 I mean, they've got 250 00:04:57,125 --> 00:04:58,916 some pretty great clients. 251 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,500 Wait a second, 252 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,500 is that Margaret? 253 00:05:00,583 --> 00:05:02,916 She's working there. 254 00:05:00,583 --> 00:05:02,916 They must have poached her. 255 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:04,250 Brainwashed her, 256 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:04,250 is what they did. 257 00:05:04,333 --> 00:05:05,333 Margaret is very vulnerable. 258 00:05:05,416 --> 00:05:07,041 I've had to rescue her 259 00:05:05,416 --> 00:05:07,041 a bunch of times 260 00:05:07,125 --> 00:05:08,916 from cults 261 00:05:07,125 --> 00:05:08,916 and an Amway pyramid. 262 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,250 Come on. 263 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,250 Let's get our girl back! 264 00:05:11,333 --> 00:05:13,375 You were all the way 265 00:05:11,333 --> 00:05:13,375 out of the Grand Canyon 266 00:05:13,458 --> 00:05:15,416 before you realized 267 00:05:13,458 --> 00:05:15,416 no one was on my donkey. 268 00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:17,875 But, sure, 269 00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:17,875 let's go save Margaret. 270 00:05:17,958 --> 00:05:19,458 Oh, wow! 271 00:05:19,541 --> 00:05:23,000 Mom, my dinosaur party 272 00:05:19,541 --> 00:05:23,000 looks amazing! 273 00:05:23,083 --> 00:05:24,416 But we're in that room. 274 00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:28,416 Somebody must've done another 275 00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:28,416 dinosaur party right next to us. 276 00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:29,916 Gloria? 277 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,750 Doctor Donna Duncan. 278 00:05:31,833 --> 00:05:34,250 You remember my stepson, 279 00:05:31,833 --> 00:05:34,250 Digby. 280 00:05:35,333 --> 00:05:37,791 He prefers nonverbal 281 00:05:35,333 --> 00:05:37,791 communication. 282 00:05:37,875 --> 00:05:39,250 This is your party? 283 00:05:39,333 --> 00:05:40,958 You see, I saw that 284 00:05:39,333 --> 00:05:40,958 you had signed up 285 00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:42,333 to throw a party 286 00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:42,333 for Miss Jessica's class, 287 00:05:42,416 --> 00:05:45,375 so I thought I'd throw 288 00:05:42,416 --> 00:05:45,375 a little party for Miss Elaine. 289 00:05:45,458 --> 00:05:49,250 It belches fire and then shoots 290 00:05:45,458 --> 00:05:49,250 candy all over the room. 291 00:05:53,083 --> 00:05:55,458 Hey, girl, hey! 292 00:05:55,541 --> 00:05:56,791 I'm not going 293 00:05:55,541 --> 00:05:56,791 on your road trip. 294 00:05:56,875 --> 00:05:58,625 What? 295 00:05:56,875 --> 00:05:58,625 Luke told me that 296 00:05:56,875 --> 00:05:58,625 you've been hounding him 297 00:05:58,708 --> 00:06:00,416 because you don't want to 298 00:05:58,708 --> 00:06:00,416 drive cross-country alone. 299 00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:01,916 Oh, I'm just trying to 300 00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:01,916 do you a favor. 301 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,625 You're going to a conference 302 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,625 in Memphis. 303 00:06:03,708 --> 00:06:05,125 It's only 12 hours 304 00:06:03,708 --> 00:06:05,125 out of my way. 305 00:06:05,208 --> 00:06:07,583 Hey, no need 306 00:06:05,208 --> 00:06:07,583 to be afraid. 307 00:06:07,666 --> 00:06:09,291 Afraid? 308 00:06:09,375 --> 00:06:12,416 Manny, I'm a pretty girl 309 00:06:09,375 --> 00:06:12,416 who wears low-cut tops. 310 00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:14,708 I know what a scared 311 00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:14,708 19-year-old boy looks like. 312 00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:18,833 Dude, you brought a pan flute 313 00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:18,833 to the fifth grade. 314 00:06:18,916 --> 00:06:21,333 You serenade girls who are 315 00:06:18,916 --> 00:06:21,333 way out of your league. 316 00:06:21,416 --> 00:06:23,750 You're a baller. 317 00:06:21,416 --> 00:06:23,750 You got this. 318 00:06:23,833 --> 00:06:25,375 Thanks. 319 00:06:25,458 --> 00:06:27,541 Anytime. 320 00:06:32,166 --> 00:06:34,958 Manny. 321 00:06:32,166 --> 00:06:34,958 Manny, this is kidnapping. 322 00:06:35,041 --> 00:06:37,291 Wow, 323 00:06:35,041 --> 00:06:37,291 this office is huge. 324 00:06:37,375 --> 00:06:38,583 Just placed it. 325 00:06:38,666 --> 00:06:40,583 This used to be 326 00:06:38,666 --> 00:06:40,583 Schweinberg's department store. 327 00:06:40,666 --> 00:06:42,375 Wall of TVs over there. 328 00:06:42,458 --> 00:06:44,666 I almost knocked down 329 00:06:42,458 --> 00:06:44,666 the display of fondue pots 330 00:06:44,750 --> 00:06:47,750 when I saw they were letting 331 00:06:44,750 --> 00:06:47,750 Barbara Walters anchor the news. 332 00:06:47,833 --> 00:06:49,541 Look who's here! 333 00:06:49,625 --> 00:06:52,166 You are not gonna regret 334 00:06:49,625 --> 00:06:52,166 taking our offer. 335 00:06:52,250 --> 00:06:53,208 Let's celebrate. 336 00:06:53,291 --> 00:06:54,458 We're not here to sell. 337 00:06:54,541 --> 00:06:56,125 We're here to 338 00:06:54,541 --> 00:06:56,125 bring Margaret home. 339 00:06:56,208 --> 00:06:57,625 Who's Margaret? 340 00:06:57,708 --> 00:06:58,791 Margie! 341 00:06:58,875 --> 00:07:00,791 Margie-Marge! 342 00:07:01,833 --> 00:07:02,958 How did they get you? 343 00:07:03,041 --> 00:07:05,291 Are you still wandering around 344 00:07:03,041 --> 00:07:05,291 alone in pet stores? 345 00:07:05,375 --> 00:07:08,958 I've told you, that's the kind 346 00:07:05,375 --> 00:07:08,958 of person these cults target! 347 00:07:09,041 --> 00:07:10,708 I like it here. 348 00:07:10,791 --> 00:07:14,625 They have one of those machines 349 00:07:10,791 --> 00:07:14,625 that makes every kind of soda. 350 00:07:14,708 --> 00:07:16,791 But you're diabetic. 351 00:07:14,708 --> 00:07:16,791 And a grown-up. 352 00:07:16,875 --> 00:07:19,583 You know, since you're here, why 353 00:07:16,875 --> 00:07:19,583 don't I show you the new model? 354 00:07:19,666 --> 00:07:20,750 Come here. 355 00:07:19,666 --> 00:07:20,750 Come over here. 356 00:07:20,833 --> 00:07:24,791 Come here. 357 00:07:20,833 --> 00:07:24,791 This is the EzraVision Elitist. 358 00:07:24,875 --> 00:07:25,875 - Ohhh. 359 00:07:24,875 --> 00:07:25,875 - Yeah. 360 00:07:25,958 --> 00:07:27,083 Stand right over there. 361 00:07:27,166 --> 00:07:28,500 Face forward. 362 00:07:28,583 --> 00:07:29,791 Good afternoon, Ezra. 363 00:07:29,875 --> 00:07:31,625 Good afternoon. 364 00:07:29,875 --> 00:07:31,625 How may I help you? 365 00:07:31,708 --> 00:07:32,708 What is that? 366 00:07:32,791 --> 00:07:35,166 Ezra, full body scan. 367 00:07:35,250 --> 00:07:36,541 Here we go. 368 00:07:36,625 --> 00:07:38,208 Scan complete. 369 00:07:36,625 --> 00:07:38,208 Searching wardrobe. 370 00:07:36,625 --> 00:07:38,208 Ha! 371 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,291 Based on today's 372 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,291 weather forecast, 373 00:07:40,375 --> 00:07:42,125 here's your optimal outfit. 374 00:07:42,208 --> 00:07:43,625 Check the label. 375 00:07:45,791 --> 00:07:47,166 - Just my size. 376 00:07:45,791 --> 00:07:47,166 - Yes, it is. 377 00:07:47,250 --> 00:07:49,250 See, this is the future 378 00:07:47,250 --> 00:07:49,250 of closets ... 379 00:07:49,333 --> 00:07:50,666 automated, intelligent ... 380 00:07:50,750 --> 00:07:52,333 That's what they said about 381 00:07:50,750 --> 00:07:52,333 the "mood closet" in the '70s, 382 00:07:52,416 --> 00:07:54,250 and I buried them. 383 00:07:52,416 --> 00:07:54,250 - Very cranky. 384 00:07:54,333 --> 00:07:56,666 Yes, but he has earned 385 00:07:54,333 --> 00:07:56,666 the right to be cranky, 386 00:07:56,750 --> 00:07:59,416 because my father is a giant 387 00:07:56,750 --> 00:07:59,416 in this industry, 388 00:07:59,500 --> 00:08:02,250 and he had to skip his ice-cream 389 00:07:59,500 --> 00:08:02,250 sandwich today to come here. 390 00:08:02,333 --> 00:08:05,166 Nick, 391 00:08:02,333 --> 00:08:05,166 it's time for laser tag. 392 00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:07,125 Yes! 393 00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:07,125 You know what? 394 00:08:07,208 --> 00:08:09,416 No matter how it shakes out, 395 00:08:07,208 --> 00:08:09,416 you can keep the pants. 396 00:08:09,500 --> 00:08:11,041 Those are on me. 397 00:08:09,500 --> 00:08:11,041 Let's go! 398 00:08:11,125 --> 00:08:12,208 Let's get the hell 399 00:08:11,125 --> 00:08:12,208 out of here. 400 00:08:12,291 --> 00:08:13,750 Hang on, Dad. 401 00:08:12,291 --> 00:08:13,750 I... 402 00:08:13,833 --> 00:08:15,541 I don't like these dorks 403 00:08:13,833 --> 00:08:15,541 any more than you do, 404 00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:17,416 but they might be 405 00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:17,416 onto something. 406 00:08:17,500 --> 00:08:18,833 What are you saying? 407 00:08:17,500 --> 00:08:18,833 Do you want to sell? 408 00:08:18,916 --> 00:08:21,625 No, I was thinking 409 00:08:18,916 --> 00:08:21,625 more of a merger. 410 00:08:21,708 --> 00:08:22,833 I did some digging, 411 00:08:22,916 --> 00:08:24,916 and they are two years behind 412 00:08:22,916 --> 00:08:24,916 on production. 413 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,416 They need 414 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,416 our manufacturing, 415 00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:29,875 and frankly, 416 00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:29,875 we need their technology. 417 00:08:29,958 --> 00:08:32,208 Nope, not gonna happen. 418 00:08:29,958 --> 00:08:32,208 End of conversation. 419 00:08:32,291 --> 00:08:33,541 Really? 420 00:08:32,291 --> 00:08:33,541 Oh. 421 00:08:33,625 --> 00:08:35,166 I-I'm having 422 00:08:33,625 --> 00:08:35,166 a business discussion. 423 00:08:35,250 --> 00:08:37,291 I am not negotiating 424 00:08:35,250 --> 00:08:37,291 a new bedtime. 425 00:08:37,375 --> 00:08:39,083 I'm not taking on 426 00:08:37,375 --> 00:08:39,083 an outside partner. 427 00:08:39,166 --> 00:08:41,166 Oh, I get it, 'cause you're not 428 00:08:39,166 --> 00:08:41,166 very good with partners. 429 00:08:41,250 --> 00:08:43,625 I mean, you put me in charge, 430 00:08:41,250 --> 00:08:43,625 like, nine times, 431 00:08:43,708 --> 00:08:45,250 but if it's 432 00:08:43,708 --> 00:08:45,250 an important decision, 433 00:08:45,333 --> 00:08:46,583 I should just shut up. 434 00:08:46,666 --> 00:08:47,833 Well, I can't help it 435 00:08:47,916 --> 00:08:49,791 if I have a sixth sense 436 00:08:47,916 --> 00:08:49,791 about this business. 437 00:08:49,875 --> 00:08:51,583 Closets chose me! 438 00:08:53,041 --> 00:08:55,125 Oh, my gosh! 439 00:08:53,041 --> 00:08:55,125 Hey! 440 00:08:55,208 --> 00:08:57,250 It's going great 441 00:08:55,208 --> 00:08:57,250 over there, huh? 442 00:08:57,333 --> 00:08:58,750 What's this? 443 00:08:57,333 --> 00:08:58,750 Are these kids in trouble? 444 00:08:58,833 --> 00:09:01,708 That's a different, 445 00:08:58,833 --> 00:09:01,708 fancier party than this. 446 00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:04,750 The only fun thing I have is 447 00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:04,750 that pyramid made out of ... 448 00:09:04,833 --> 00:09:08,416 Ay, Cam, look what your 449 00:09:04,833 --> 00:09:08,416 giant baby nephew did! 450 00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:10,083 Yeah, but you know, 451 00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:10,083 it's not his fault. 452 00:09:10,166 --> 00:09:12,458 He's three times the size 453 00:09:10,166 --> 00:09:12,458 of a child his age. 454 00:09:12,541 --> 00:09:14,250 And you know what, 455 00:09:12,541 --> 00:09:14,250 some Tucker boys 456 00:09:14,333 --> 00:09:16,875 have a young growth spurt 457 00:09:14,333 --> 00:09:16,875 that's no picnic. 458 00:09:16,958 --> 00:09:18,791 I had to go to court 459 00:09:16,958 --> 00:09:18,791 to play Little League. 460 00:09:18,875 --> 00:09:21,166 Cameron, sweetie! 461 00:09:21,250 --> 00:09:22,500 I thought 462 00:09:21,250 --> 00:09:22,500 I heard your voice 463 00:09:22,583 --> 00:09:25,791 cutting through the joyless 464 00:09:22,583 --> 00:09:25,791 silence of this... 465 00:09:25,875 --> 00:09:27,166 I want to say party, 466 00:09:27,250 --> 00:09:29,083 but I'm afraid 467 00:09:27,250 --> 00:09:29,083 it will sound sarcastic. 468 00:09:29,166 --> 00:09:30,333 You guys are friends? 469 00:09:30,416 --> 00:09:32,375 Uh, well, we go to 470 00:09:30,416 --> 00:09:32,375 the same blowout parlor, yeah. 471 00:09:32,458 --> 00:09:34,208 Wait a minute, did you 472 00:09:32,458 --> 00:09:34,208 pay for my Belizian blowout 473 00:09:34,291 --> 00:09:36,708 just so I would shout 474 00:09:34,291 --> 00:09:36,708 the details of Gloria's party 475 00:09:36,791 --> 00:09:38,041 so you could outdo her? 476 00:09:38,125 --> 00:09:40,125 Oh, look at you 477 00:09:38,125 --> 00:09:40,125 catching on. 478 00:09:40,208 --> 00:09:42,500 Kids, 479 00:09:40,208 --> 00:09:42,500 sorry to wake you. 480 00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:44,500 But I'm gonna leave 481 00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:44,500 these wristbands here 482 00:09:44,583 --> 00:09:48,125 in case any of you want to 483 00:09:44,583 --> 00:09:48,125 come ride our roller coaster. 484 00:09:48,208 --> 00:09:49,750 The mechanical kind, 485 00:09:49,833 --> 00:09:51,291 not the emotional one 486 00:09:49,833 --> 00:09:51,291 you've been on 487 00:09:51,375 --> 00:09:52,958 since you came through 488 00:09:51,375 --> 00:09:52,958 these doors. 489 00:09:53,041 --> 00:09:54,791 Get out of here! 490 00:09:54,875 --> 00:09:56,666 Not you, not you, 491 00:09:54,875 --> 00:09:56,666 not you. 492 00:09:56,750 --> 00:09:58,583 Oh, God, this is worse 493 00:09:56,750 --> 00:09:58,583 than I thought. 494 00:09:58,666 --> 00:09:59,958 There are 495 00:09:58,666 --> 00:09:59,958 so many eyes on me. 496 00:10:00,041 --> 00:10:01,208 I mean, yes, sure, 497 00:10:01,291 --> 00:10:03,125 less because of all 498 00:10:01,291 --> 00:10:03,125 the cyclopses, but still. 499 00:10:03,208 --> 00:10:04,875 You can do this. 500 00:10:03,208 --> 00:10:04,875 Elf up. 501 00:10:04,958 --> 00:10:08,416 My two favorite Rhine maidens! 502 00:10:04,958 --> 00:10:08,416 Linda! Karen! 503 00:10:08,500 --> 00:10:10,500 Sold them a duplex. 504 00:10:10,583 --> 00:10:13,458 Sweet home Alduzzarna, 505 00:10:13,541 --> 00:10:16,375 it's The Foolmaker from 506 00:10:13,541 --> 00:10:16,375 Clash of Swords season five! 507 00:10:16,458 --> 00:10:18,458 I'm only on season three. 508 00:10:16,458 --> 00:10:18,458 I-I feel lost. Help me. 509 00:10:18,541 --> 00:10:20,000 Oh, okay. 510 00:10:18,541 --> 00:10:20,000 During the Feast of Figs, 511 00:10:20,083 --> 00:10:22,041 the Forest Prince 512 00:10:20,083 --> 00:10:22,041 banished Migolaf the Wanderer 513 00:10:22,125 --> 00:10:23,833 to the outer reaches 514 00:10:22,125 --> 00:10:23,833 of The Forsaken Realm. 515 00:10:23,916 --> 00:10:26,750 Migolaf waylaid 516 00:10:23,916 --> 00:10:26,750 the Iguodalan Dwarves 517 00:10:26,833 --> 00:10:29,375 and cursed the high cleric to 518 00:10:26,833 --> 00:10:29,375 an eternity of feeble-mindedness 519 00:10:29,458 --> 00:10:31,500 using the mighty scepter 520 00:10:29,458 --> 00:10:31,500 known as... 521 00:10:31,583 --> 00:10:34,541 Oh, my God. 522 00:10:31,583 --> 00:10:34,541 The Foolmaker. 523 00:10:31,583 --> 00:10:34,541 I got to get a selfie. 524 00:10:36,208 --> 00:10:37,875 H'oww! 525 00:10:36,208 --> 00:10:37,875 - Ooh, careful! Careful! 526 00:10:37,958 --> 00:10:39,291 Oh, boy. Okay. 527 00:10:39,375 --> 00:10:40,458 Good thing 528 00:10:39,375 --> 00:10:40,458 it's not the real one 529 00:10:40,541 --> 00:10:42,166 or I'd be cursed to 530 00:10:40,541 --> 00:10:42,166 spend the rest of my days 531 00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:43,333 as a bumbling idiot. 532 00:10:43,416 --> 00:10:46,166 Aw, are you gonna have 533 00:10:43,416 --> 00:10:46,166 a little porridge maiden 534 00:10:46,250 --> 00:10:47,208 or a little warrior? 535 00:10:47,291 --> 00:10:49,416 I'm not pregnant, 536 00:10:47,291 --> 00:10:49,416 dipwad. 537 00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:50,875 Phil, 538 00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:50,875 why would you say that? 539 00:10:50,958 --> 00:10:52,750 I don't know, 540 00:10:50,958 --> 00:10:52,750 it just came out. 541 00:10:52,833 --> 00:10:54,750 I mean, The Foolmaker ... 542 00:10:54,833 --> 00:10:56,916 You're not cursed, okay? 543 00:10:54,833 --> 00:10:56,916 It's a prop. It's not real. 544 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,041 All right. 545 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,041 The panel's this way. 546 00:10:59,125 --> 00:11:01,250 Hey, man. 547 00:10:59,125 --> 00:11:01,250 Sick scale armor! 548 00:11:01,333 --> 00:11:03,583 Oh, really? You think so? 549 00:11:01,333 --> 00:11:03,583 It's not too much with the cape? 550 00:11:03,666 --> 00:11:06,000 I wanted something that would 551 00:11:03,666 --> 00:11:06,000 go from feast to battle. 552 00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:07,375 - Crushed it. 553 00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:07,375 - Yes! 554 00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:08,875 Oh, we're about to take our 555 00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:08,875 annual Norph group photo. 556 00:11:08,958 --> 00:11:10,291 You coming? 557 00:11:08,958 --> 00:11:10,291 - Yes, yes! 558 00:11:10,375 --> 00:11:11,333 Phil, 559 00:11:10,375 --> 00:11:11,333 we're taking a pic... 560 00:11:11,416 --> 00:11:12,708 Oh, I'm sorry. 561 00:11:11,416 --> 00:11:12,708 I lost my friend. 562 00:11:12,791 --> 00:11:15,750 Hey, most of us come alone. 563 00:11:12,791 --> 00:11:15,750 You don't have to pretend. 564 00:11:15,833 --> 00:11:17,041 I ... Th... 565 00:11:17,125 --> 00:11:19,458 Oh, great, 566 00:11:17,125 --> 00:11:19,458 the Q&A's just starting. 567 00:11:19,541 --> 00:11:20,625 Mitch? 568 00:11:20,708 --> 00:11:21,708 That's a very, 569 00:11:20,708 --> 00:11:21,708 very good question... 570 00:11:21,791 --> 00:11:23,916 - Mitchell? 571 00:11:21,791 --> 00:11:23,916 - ... and the answer to that is... 572 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,166 Scary ogre teeth. 573 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,166 Where'd you get those? 574 00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:28,666 I'm guessing 575 00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:28,666 my birth parents. 576 00:11:28,750 --> 00:11:30,583 I'm so sorry. 577 00:11:30,666 --> 00:11:33,083 Why can't I just 578 00:11:30,666 --> 00:11:33,083 shut up? 579 00:11:34,208 --> 00:11:35,833 Sorry, 580 00:11:34,208 --> 00:11:35,833 was I going on too long? 581 00:11:35,916 --> 00:11:37,958 I didn't ... 582 00:11:39,583 --> 00:11:41,000 You're Joel L.L. Logan. 583 00:11:42,833 --> 00:11:44,208 What's your question, 584 00:11:42,833 --> 00:11:44,208 friend? 585 00:11:44,291 --> 00:11:45,958 - Oh, uh... 586 00:11:44,291 --> 00:11:45,958 - Don't be shy. 587 00:11:46,041 --> 00:11:47,333 I may have 588 00:11:46,041 --> 00:11:47,333 created this kingdom, 589 00:11:47,416 --> 00:11:49,416 but we're all 590 00:11:47,416 --> 00:11:49,416 fellow heirs to it. 591 00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:50,375 Isn't that right? 592 00:11:53,500 --> 00:11:56,083 In that case, 593 00:11:53,500 --> 00:11:56,083 Mr. Logan... 594 00:11:56,166 --> 00:11:57,750 Uh, I read on a fan page 595 00:11:57,833 --> 00:12:00,458 there's gonna be a Mozgovian 596 00:11:57,833 --> 00:12:00,458 uprising in the season finale 597 00:12:00,541 --> 00:12:02,583 that'll wipe out 598 00:12:00,541 --> 00:12:02,583 the entire ruling class, 599 00:12:02,666 --> 00:12:06,666 including the gruesome beheading 600 00:12:02,666 --> 00:12:06,666 of Adebayo the Righteous. 601 00:12:06,750 --> 00:12:09,000 Um... 602 00:12:09,083 --> 00:12:11,750 Wait, a-are you ... 603 00:12:09,083 --> 00:12:11,750 are you gonna kill Adebayo? 604 00:12:11,833 --> 00:12:13,708 What? 605 00:12:11,833 --> 00:12:13,708 No, no. 606 00:12:13,791 --> 00:12:16,125 Who's ... Who ... Who's Adebayo? 607 00:12:16,208 --> 00:12:18,041 Oh, dear lord. 608 00:12:16,208 --> 00:12:18,041 It is true. 609 00:12:18,125 --> 00:12:21,166 You fool! 610 00:12:18,125 --> 00:12:21,166 Why would you ask him that? 611 00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:23,583 We all stay off of spoiler sites 612 00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:23,583 for a reason! 613 00:12:23,666 --> 00:12:26,958 This show is the only thing I've 614 00:12:23,666 --> 00:12:26,958 got going on, and you ruined it! 615 00:12:28,416 --> 00:12:29,333 Ohh! Ow! 616 00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:31,166 They let you bring 617 00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:31,166 your spheres? 618 00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:33,375 They took away my tweezers! 619 00:12:36,750 --> 00:12:38,125 Manny? 620 00:12:38,208 --> 00:12:39,958 This is the check 621 00:12:38,208 --> 00:12:39,958 Mrs. Nussbaum gave me 622 00:12:40,041 --> 00:12:41,500 to drive her car 623 00:12:40,041 --> 00:12:41,500 to Delaware. 624 00:12:41,583 --> 00:12:42,875 It's yours 625 00:12:41,583 --> 00:12:42,875 if you come with me. 626 00:12:42,958 --> 00:12:44,958 - Okay. 627 00:12:42,958 --> 00:12:44,958 - Wait, what? 628 00:12:45,041 --> 00:12:46,958 Well, Haley already warned me 629 00:12:45,041 --> 00:12:46,958 you'd be asking, 630 00:12:47,041 --> 00:12:48,250 and I thought, "Sure." 631 00:12:48,333 --> 00:12:49,958 My favorite research institute 632 00:12:48,333 --> 00:12:49,958 is on the way. 633 00:12:50,041 --> 00:12:52,791 And I could bring my windsock 634 00:12:50,041 --> 00:12:52,791 and barometer 635 00:12:52,875 --> 00:12:55,333 for that new weather modeling 636 00:12:52,875 --> 00:12:55,333 project I've been noodling with. 637 00:12:55,416 --> 00:12:57,041 Huh. 638 00:12:57,125 --> 00:13:00,250 I couldn't help noticing a lot 639 00:12:57,125 --> 00:13:00,250 of loose hairs on your pillow 640 00:13:00,333 --> 00:13:04,541 and a stack of 641 00:13:00,333 --> 00:13:04,541 fully completed Sudoku books. 642 00:13:04,625 --> 00:13:06,833 Weren't you supposed to be 643 00:13:04,625 --> 00:13:06,833 taking it easy this summer? 644 00:13:06,916 --> 00:13:08,333 No school, 645 00:13:06,916 --> 00:13:08,333 no projects ... 646 00:13:08,416 --> 00:13:09,500 Yeah, I'm loving it. 647 00:13:09,583 --> 00:13:10,958 What are the chances 648 00:13:09,583 --> 00:13:10,958 I open your dresser 649 00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:12,708 and find a calendar 650 00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:12,708 with three X'd out days 651 00:13:12,791 --> 00:13:15,375 and a giant red circle around 652 00:13:12,791 --> 00:13:15,375 the date school starts again? 653 00:13:15,458 --> 00:13:17,541 You don't know me. 654 00:13:17,625 --> 00:13:20,833 Look, you're facing a challenge 655 00:13:17,625 --> 00:13:20,833 that scares you, 656 00:13:20,916 --> 00:13:23,166 but you know in your heart 657 00:13:20,916 --> 00:13:23,166 you need to take it on 658 00:13:23,250 --> 00:13:25,333 because 659 00:13:23,250 --> 00:13:25,333 it'll help you grow 660 00:13:25,416 --> 00:13:29,333 and become a stronger, 661 00:13:25,416 --> 00:13:29,333 more balanced person. 662 00:13:29,416 --> 00:13:30,500 Ugh. 663 00:13:30,583 --> 00:13:33,166 Of course I know you're right, 664 00:13:30,583 --> 00:13:33,166 but it's hard! 665 00:13:33,250 --> 00:13:35,208 People are out there 666 00:13:33,250 --> 00:13:35,208 discovering planets, 667 00:13:35,291 --> 00:13:36,916 and I'm in here 668 00:13:35,291 --> 00:13:36,916 doing BuzzFeed quizzes. 669 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,500 Like if I were to be a Beatle, 670 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,500 who would I be? 671 00:13:38,583 --> 00:13:41,291 I'd be Ringo. 672 00:13:38,583 --> 00:13:41,291 Who cares, Manny? 673 00:13:41,375 --> 00:13:43,250 Manny? 674 00:13:43,333 --> 00:13:45,583 Whoo-hoo! 675 00:13:48,083 --> 00:13:50,875 I may have lost Phil, 676 00:13:48,083 --> 00:13:50,875 but I found my people. 677 00:13:50,958 --> 00:13:52,458 And the choreography was a snap. 678 00:13:52,541 --> 00:13:56,208 It's basically a river dance, 679 00:13:52,541 --> 00:13:56,208 uh, crossed with the hora. 680 00:13:56,291 --> 00:13:58,791 I bring news 681 00:13:56,291 --> 00:13:58,791 from the Catalina Room! 682 00:13:58,875 --> 00:14:01,458 A dark shadow has fallen 683 00:13:58,875 --> 00:14:01,458 upon the kingdom. 684 00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:03,541 The gods will not 685 00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:03,541 be pleased by this ... 686 00:14:03,625 --> 00:14:04,708 Just get to it, Gary! 687 00:14:04,791 --> 00:14:06,375 Some dingus 688 00:14:04,791 --> 00:14:06,375 just spoiled the finale! 689 00:14:07,416 --> 00:14:09,000 This shall not 690 00:14:07,416 --> 00:14:09,000 go unpunished! 691 00:14:09,083 --> 00:14:10,583 Let's get him! 692 00:14:15,458 --> 00:14:17,916 Where have you been? 693 00:14:15,458 --> 00:14:17,916 I've been waiting forever. 694 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,458 I was angry. 695 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,458 I needed to take a walk 696 00:14:19,541 --> 00:14:21,666 so I could forget 697 00:14:19,541 --> 00:14:21,666 how pigheaded you can be. 698 00:14:21,750 --> 00:14:22,875 You want to 699 00:14:21,750 --> 00:14:22,875 take another lap? 700 00:14:22,958 --> 00:14:25,458 Dad, I am right 701 00:14:22,958 --> 00:14:25,458 about this. 702 00:14:25,541 --> 00:14:28,291 Eventually Nick is gonna figure 703 00:14:25,541 --> 00:14:28,291 out how to keep up with demand, 704 00:14:28,375 --> 00:14:29,958 and then 705 00:14:28,375 --> 00:14:29,958 where are we gonna be? 706 00:14:30,041 --> 00:14:32,625 I know your style has 707 00:14:30,041 --> 00:14:32,625 always been just tough it out 708 00:14:32,708 --> 00:14:34,791 and ... 709 00:14:32,708 --> 00:14:34,791 and beat back every threat ... 710 00:14:34,875 --> 00:14:35,791 That's not it, Claire. 711 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,083 You're right. 712 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,083 We can't beat these guys. 713 00:14:37,166 --> 00:14:40,083 A merger's the only 714 00:14:37,166 --> 00:14:40,083 long-term play. 715 00:14:41,041 --> 00:14:44,583 I just don't know 716 00:14:41,041 --> 00:14:44,583 who I am in there. 717 00:14:44,666 --> 00:14:48,250 What? 718 00:14:44,666 --> 00:14:48,250 They're all 25, 719 00:14:44,666 --> 00:14:48,250 zippin' around on their... 720 00:14:48,333 --> 00:14:49,250 The hoverboards? 721 00:14:49,333 --> 00:14:51,208 What's that make me, 722 00:14:49,333 --> 00:14:51,208 the cute old guy? 723 00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:52,416 The mascot? 724 00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:54,083 "Old man Pritchett's 725 00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:54,083 in the men's room. 726 00:14:54,166 --> 00:14:57,458 Let's go watch him cuss out 727 00:14:54,166 --> 00:14:57,458 the automatic faucets again." 728 00:14:57,541 --> 00:14:59,125 Aw, Dad. 729 00:14:59,208 --> 00:15:00,458 I can't promise that 730 00:15:00,541 --> 00:15:03,000 you wouldn't feel old 731 00:15:00,541 --> 00:15:03,000 in that building, 732 00:15:03,083 --> 00:15:05,625 but from the outside 733 00:15:03,083 --> 00:15:05,625 looking in, 734 00:15:05,708 --> 00:15:07,083 I mean, you're the guy 735 00:15:07,166 --> 00:15:09,541 who's holding his own 736 00:15:07,166 --> 00:15:09,541 with kids a third his age. 737 00:15:09,625 --> 00:15:13,875 That makes you like the... 738 00:15:09,625 --> 00:15:13,875 the Tony Bennett of closets. 739 00:15:13,958 --> 00:15:16,750 I told you I took an elevator 740 00:15:13,958 --> 00:15:16,750 with him in Rome, right? 741 00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:18,416 Yeah, you did. 742 00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:18,416 And you know what, 743 00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:19,666 in that building, 744 00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:19,666 there's a bunch of people 745 00:15:19,750 --> 00:15:21,541 who have never 746 00:15:19,750 --> 00:15:21,541 heard that story. 747 00:15:21,625 --> 00:15:24,250 Did he have 748 00:15:21,625 --> 00:15:24,250 a Chihuahua with him? 749 00:15:24,333 --> 00:15:25,416 - A mink. 750 00:15:24,333 --> 00:15:25,416 - A mink? 751 00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:26,958 - A live mink. 752 00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:26,958 - Yeah. 753 00:15:27,041 --> 00:15:29,125 - All class. 754 00:15:27,041 --> 00:15:29,125 - Yeah. 755 00:15:29,208 --> 00:15:31,125 It's just a little 756 00:15:29,208 --> 00:15:31,125 intimidating. 757 00:15:31,208 --> 00:15:33,000 You don't think 758 00:15:31,208 --> 00:15:33,000 they're gonna be scared of you? 759 00:15:33,083 --> 00:15:35,750 Come on. 760 00:15:33,083 --> 00:15:35,750 Dad, look at them. 761 00:15:35,833 --> 00:15:39,666 I don't care what ironic T-shirt 762 00:15:35,833 --> 00:15:39,666 their closets pick out for them. 763 00:15:39,750 --> 00:15:42,500 Underneath, 764 00:15:39,750 --> 00:15:42,500 they're still nerds. 765 00:15:47,125 --> 00:15:49,041 I can't. 766 00:15:49,125 --> 00:15:50,541 Yeah, this might be okay. 767 00:15:53,708 --> 00:15:54,916 I want to see him. 768 00:15:53,708 --> 00:15:54,916 Let me through, let me through! 769 00:15:56,291 --> 00:15:57,458 You're the spoiler? 770 00:15:57,541 --> 00:15:58,875 I didn't do it on purpose! 771 00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,250 It was The Foolmaker! 772 00:16:00,333 --> 00:16:01,708 The scepter is a prop, 773 00:16:00,333 --> 00:16:01,708 okay? 774 00:16:01,791 --> 00:16:03,208 It's just 775 00:16:01,791 --> 00:16:03,208 the power of suggestion. 776 00:16:03,291 --> 00:16:05,916 Mitchell, they want to take away 777 00:16:03,291 --> 00:16:05,916 my all-access pass. 778 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,750 You've got to help me. 779 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,750 - You know this scoundrel? 780 00:16:07,833 --> 00:16:09,166 Uh, yeah, I think our kids 781 00:16:07,833 --> 00:16:09,166 go to school with one ... 782 00:16:09,250 --> 00:16:11,166 Mitchell! 783 00:16:09,250 --> 00:16:11,166 Okay yes, yes ... 784 00:16:09,250 --> 00:16:11,166 yes, I know him. 785 00:16:11,250 --> 00:16:12,333 I know him! 786 00:16:11,250 --> 00:16:12,333 - They're monsters. 787 00:16:12,416 --> 00:16:14,875 They've been pelting me with 788 00:16:12,416 --> 00:16:14,875 Chobani flail spheres. 789 00:16:14,958 --> 00:16:16,166 Wait ... Ch-Chobani, 790 00:16:14,958 --> 00:16:16,166 like the yoghurt? 791 00:16:16,250 --> 00:16:18,458 The show took on corporate 792 00:16:16,250 --> 00:16:18,458 sponsors in season four. 793 00:16:18,541 --> 00:16:19,833 Oh. 794 00:16:20,875 --> 00:16:22,541 Seriously, Gary? 795 00:16:22,625 --> 00:16:23,791 I helped you build a deck! 796 00:16:23,875 --> 00:16:26,083 Okay, stop, stop it! 797 00:16:23,875 --> 00:16:26,083 What are we doing, huh? 798 00:16:26,166 --> 00:16:27,750 Is this how Norphs behave? 799 00:16:27,833 --> 00:16:29,000 Actually, 800 00:16:27,833 --> 00:16:29,000 we're quite war-like. 801 00:16:29,083 --> 00:16:32,833 Okay, well... look, look, 802 00:16:29,083 --> 00:16:32,833 this man, he made a mistake, 803 00:16:32,916 --> 00:16:34,458 but if we banish him, 804 00:16:34,541 --> 00:16:38,041 we're no better than the people 805 00:16:34,541 --> 00:16:38,041 who shamed us all these years, 806 00:16:38,125 --> 00:16:40,833 who ... who picked us last 807 00:16:38,125 --> 00:16:40,833 for team sports, 808 00:16:40,916 --> 00:16:44,291 who left us off of group e-mails 809 00:16:40,916 --> 00:16:44,291 about bar association dances. 810 00:16:44,375 --> 00:16:48,375 We're all oddballs and misfits 811 00:16:44,375 --> 00:16:48,375 and weirdos, 812 00:16:48,458 --> 00:16:52,250 but the great thing about 813 00:16:48,458 --> 00:16:52,250 this place is we all belong, 814 00:16:52,333 --> 00:16:53,791 especially this good man, 815 00:16:53,875 --> 00:16:57,291 who gave me the courage 816 00:16:53,875 --> 00:16:57,291 to conquer my fear 817 00:16:57,375 --> 00:17:00,083 and become part 818 00:16:57,375 --> 00:17:00,083 of this community. 819 00:17:00,166 --> 00:17:01,541 Let's welcome him back. 820 00:17:01,625 --> 00:17:03,583 The red one, Gary! 821 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,500 Where is that dinosaur? 822 00:17:07,583 --> 00:17:08,958 I certainly hope I don't 823 00:17:09,041 --> 00:17:10,625 accidentally 824 00:17:09,041 --> 00:17:10,625 turn off the lights. 825 00:17:10,708 --> 00:17:13,500 As a gay man, I know 826 00:17:10,708 --> 00:17:13,500 every party planner in town. 827 00:17:13,583 --> 00:17:15,958 So I sent out a group text, 828 00:17:13,583 --> 00:17:15,958 and as luck would have it, 829 00:17:16,041 --> 00:17:18,583 my friend Ronaldo was wrapping 830 00:17:16,041 --> 00:17:18,583 up a kid's Peter Pan party. 831 00:17:18,666 --> 00:17:21,208 And I said, 832 00:17:18,666 --> 00:17:21,208 "Send me whatever you got." 833 00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:23,708 I think I hear some music! 834 00:17:23,791 --> 00:17:26,958 Where my Lost Boys at? 835 00:17:27,041 --> 00:17:28,375 What the hell is this? 836 00:17:28,458 --> 00:17:31,166 I thought you said you were at 837 00:17:28,458 --> 00:17:31,166 a kid's Peter Pan party. 838 00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:34,291 No, no, no. 839 00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:34,291 I said, "Kit's Peter Pan party." 840 00:17:34,375 --> 00:17:36,208 It's his 11th time 841 00:17:34,375 --> 00:17:36,208 turning 50. 842 00:17:36,291 --> 00:17:38,833 Close your eyes! 843 00:17:36,291 --> 00:17:38,833 No! Don't look at that! 844 00:17:38,916 --> 00:17:40,166 Please, I'm so sorry! 845 00:17:40,250 --> 00:17:42,208 Enough! 846 00:17:40,250 --> 00:17:42,208 Enough! 847 00:17:42,291 --> 00:17:44,458 Everybody out! 848 00:17:42,291 --> 00:17:44,458 Even the kids! 849 00:17:44,541 --> 00:17:47,500 I can't fight this anymore. 850 00:17:44,541 --> 00:17:47,500 Go to the nice party! 851 00:17:47,583 --> 00:17:49,375 Just follow the fairy! 852 00:17:50,416 --> 00:17:53,041 She meant me. 853 00:17:50,416 --> 00:17:53,041 Everybody calm down. 854 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,291 Thank you so much 855 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,291 for today. 856 00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:56,666 I-I never would've 857 00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:56,666 gone through with it 858 00:17:56,750 --> 00:17:58,291 if you hadn't inspired me. 859 00:17:58,375 --> 00:18:00,041 I inspired you? 860 00:17:58,375 --> 00:18:00,041 Mm. 861 00:18:00,125 --> 00:18:01,500 Wait. 862 00:18:01,583 --> 00:18:03,041 In book the third, 863 00:18:01,583 --> 00:18:03,041 the high cleric 864 00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:05,166 overcomes the curse 865 00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:05,166 of The Foolmaker 866 00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:06,583 by being pure of heart 867 00:18:06,666 --> 00:18:08,750 and goes on to be 868 00:18:06,666 --> 00:18:08,750 a great inspirer of people. 869 00:18:08,833 --> 00:18:10,041 Do you think ... 870 00:18:14,541 --> 00:18:16,250 You seem glum. 871 00:18:16,333 --> 00:18:20,916 Perhaps you should be 872 00:18:16,333 --> 00:18:20,916 turning your passions elsewhere. 873 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,458 You're right. 874 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,458 I'm going back to vet school. 875 00:18:23,541 --> 00:18:25,750 It's about time I grew up. 876 00:18:27,083 --> 00:18:28,666 I'm sorry, Gloria. 877 00:18:28,750 --> 00:18:30,416 It's okay. 878 00:18:28,750 --> 00:18:30,416 I'm not mad. 879 00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:31,666 What happened 880 00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:31,666 to the party? 881 00:18:31,750 --> 00:18:33,666 Cam ruined it two ways. 882 00:18:33,750 --> 00:18:36,958 I just wanted 883 00:18:33,750 --> 00:18:36,958 a nice party for Joe. 884 00:18:37,041 --> 00:18:38,166 There's only so long 885 00:18:38,250 --> 00:18:40,708 that you can make things 886 00:18:38,250 --> 00:18:40,708 perfect for them. 887 00:18:40,791 --> 00:18:42,458 Suddenly, they move on. 888 00:18:42,541 --> 00:18:43,625 They wake up one morning 889 00:18:43,708 --> 00:18:46,875 and they want to drive 890 00:18:43,708 --> 00:18:46,875 cross-country all alone. 891 00:18:46,958 --> 00:18:48,083 Oh, right, Manny. 892 00:18:48,166 --> 00:18:51,333 I know you're scared, 893 00:18:48,166 --> 00:18:51,333 but your should feel proud. 894 00:18:51,416 --> 00:18:53,000 You took kind of a... 895 00:18:53,083 --> 00:18:54,583 You can say it ... 896 00:18:53,083 --> 00:18:54,583 a weird kid. 897 00:18:54,666 --> 00:18:56,708 A weird kid, 898 00:18:54,666 --> 00:18:56,708 and turned him into somebody 899 00:18:56,791 --> 00:18:58,125 so comfortable with himself 900 00:18:58,208 --> 00:19:02,000 that he's willing to take on 901 00:18:58,208 --> 00:19:02,000 a pretty big adventure. 902 00:19:02,083 --> 00:19:03,291 Thank you, Cam. 903 00:19:03,375 --> 00:19:04,500 I wish I had that. 904 00:19:04,583 --> 00:19:05,666 I mean, I was a weird kid 905 00:19:05,750 --> 00:19:07,500 whose family only made him 906 00:19:05,750 --> 00:19:07,500 feel weirder. 907 00:19:07,583 --> 00:19:09,708 I mean, it took until today 908 00:19:07,583 --> 00:19:09,708 to do an adventure 909 00:19:09,791 --> 00:19:12,250 that I have wanted to do 910 00:19:09,791 --> 00:19:12,250 since I was Manny's age. 911 00:19:12,333 --> 00:19:14,375 I-I went to Hero-Con. 912 00:19:14,458 --> 00:19:15,583 Not in costume? 913 00:19:15,666 --> 00:19:16,625 Affirmative, Fizbo. 914 00:19:16,708 --> 00:19:17,833 Okay, if this is 915 00:19:16,708 --> 00:19:17,833 something you're into, 916 00:19:17,916 --> 00:19:19,166 why haven't you 917 00:19:17,916 --> 00:19:19,166 ever told me? 918 00:19:19,250 --> 00:19:20,416 I haven't told anyone. 919 00:19:20,500 --> 00:19:22,250 I mean, I tried 920 00:19:20,500 --> 00:19:22,250 with my mom once, 921 00:19:22,333 --> 00:19:25,000 but I chickened out 922 00:19:22,333 --> 00:19:25,000 and told her I was gay instead. 923 00:19:25,083 --> 00:19:26,833 And I-I wasn't even sure 924 00:19:25,083 --> 00:19:26,833 at that point. 925 00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:30,500 Why are there so many ways 926 00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:30,500 for a parent to break a kid? 927 00:19:30,583 --> 00:19:31,541 Ugh. 928 00:19:31,625 --> 00:19:32,500 Hug! 929 00:19:32,583 --> 00:19:35,250 No, no, no! 930 00:19:35,333 --> 00:19:36,458 Oh. 931 00:19:36,541 --> 00:19:37,958 Oh. 932 00:19:38,041 --> 00:19:41,375 Aw, you know, it makes me 933 00:19:38,041 --> 00:19:41,375 worried for this little guy. 934 00:19:41,458 --> 00:19:43,208 I love my parents, 935 00:19:43,291 --> 00:19:47,125 but they weren't exactly 936 00:19:43,291 --> 00:19:47,125 the best when I was... 937 00:19:47,208 --> 00:19:49,791 when I was this. 938 00:19:52,333 --> 00:19:53,458 Go play. 939 00:19:53,541 --> 00:19:58,000 Mitchell, I'm, uh, proud of 940 00:19:53,541 --> 00:19:58,000 the risk you took today 941 00:19:58,083 --> 00:19:59,500 following your heart. 942 00:19:59,583 --> 00:20:01,333 You should do more of that. 943 00:20:01,416 --> 00:20:03,708 Cam, 944 00:20:01,416 --> 00:20:03,708 should Cal live with us? 945 00:20:03,791 --> 00:20:05,791 He ... He should. 946 00:20:05,875 --> 00:20:07,541 - Yeah. 947 00:20:05,875 --> 00:20:07,541 - Very well. 948 00:20:07,625 --> 00:20:09,666 Sorry we're late. 949 00:20:07,625 --> 00:20:09,666 Traffic, you know. 950 00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,291 I keep telling you 951 00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,291 to try Waze, 952 00:20:11,375 --> 00:20:14,625 but you're scared of technology, 953 00:20:11,375 --> 00:20:14,625 and you shouldn't be. 954 00:20:14,708 --> 00:20:17,125 We're merging Pritchett's with 955 00:20:14,708 --> 00:20:17,125 a high-tech closet company. 956 00:20:17,208 --> 00:20:18,541 Excellent. 957 00:20:18,625 --> 00:20:23,125 And, Gloria, you speak often of 958 00:20:18,625 --> 00:20:23,125 your passion for ventriloquism. 959 00:20:23,208 --> 00:20:25,625 It's been a long day, 960 00:20:23,208 --> 00:20:25,625 Phil. 961 00:20:25,708 --> 00:20:27,958 This one 962 00:20:25,708 --> 00:20:27,958 needs more time. 963 00:20:28,041 --> 00:20:29,250 Notes from the road. 964 00:20:29,333 --> 00:20:31,416 Alternate title, 965 00:20:29,333 --> 00:20:31,416 The United States of Me. 966 00:20:31,500 --> 00:20:33,750 Fear ... Friend or Foe? 967 00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:37,416 As children, we're taught 968 00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:37,416 to fear what can hurt us. 969 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,916 But as adults, 970 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,916 we're expected to conquer 971 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,625 what we're afraid of. 972 00:20:44,333 --> 00:20:46,166 So what are fears? 973 00:20:46,250 --> 00:20:47,666 Do they keep us alive? 974 00:20:47,750 --> 00:20:49,250 Or do they keep us 975 00:20:47,750 --> 00:20:49,250 from living? 976 00:20:49,333 --> 00:20:50,583 Hey! 977 00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:52,708 You're blocking the driveway. 978 00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:52,708 Hit the road already. 979 00:20:52,791 --> 00:20:54,666 Okay, I'm going. 980 00:20:56,166 --> 00:20:59,458 Jay, hurry up, 981 00:20:56,166 --> 00:20:59,458 we want to go home! 982 00:20:59,541 --> 00:21:01,541 I can't get this damn thing 983 00:20:59,541 --> 00:21:01,541 to work! 984 00:21:01,625 --> 00:21:03,958 Oh, no, is it one of those 985 00:21:01,625 --> 00:21:03,958 automatic sinks? 986 00:21:04,041 --> 00:21:05,791 You know what, 987 00:21:04,041 --> 00:21:05,791 he should do a hard reboot ... 988 00:21:05,875 --> 00:21:07,375 go back to the urinal 989 00:21:05,875 --> 00:21:07,375 and re-approach. 990 00:21:07,458 --> 00:21:08,583 What's going on 991 00:21:07,458 --> 00:21:08,583 in there? 992 00:21:08,666 --> 00:21:11,125 I can't even get a trickle 993 00:21:08,666 --> 00:21:11,125 out of this thing! 994 00:21:11,208 --> 00:21:13,750 Oh, I find 995 00:21:11,208 --> 00:21:13,750 not thinking about it helps! 996 00:21:13,833 --> 00:21:15,208 - No, it's the sink. 997 00:21:13,833 --> 00:21:15,208 - It's the sink. 998 00:21:15,291 --> 00:21:16,833 Makes no sense! 999 00:21:16,916 --> 00:21:19,000 I'm waving my arms like I'm 1000 00:21:16,916 --> 00:21:19,000 directing a plane into a gate! 1001 00:21:19,083 --> 00:21:22,166 He's gonna break it like 1002 00:21:19,083 --> 00:21:22,166 he broke the remote control. 1003 00:21:22,250 --> 00:21:24,958 Let's just go! The paper towel 1004 00:21:22,250 --> 00:21:24,958 thing is automatic, too! 1005 00:21:25,041 --> 00:21:26,541 Oh, Dad. 1006 00:21:29,375 --> 00:21:32,500 Captions by VITAC :