1
00:00:03,202 --> 00:00:05,329
Every afternoon,
I've been going to Luke's campus

2
00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:07,673
to help him train for rugby tryouts.

3
00:00:07,708 --> 00:00:09,910
What do you say we practice
that lineout lift one last time?

4
00:00:09,979 --> 00:00:11,380
- And...
- I got to go.

5
00:00:11,482 --> 00:00:12,883
I don't want to be late
for women's studies.

6
00:00:12,985 --> 00:00:14,386
That's what I call my lunch break.

7
00:00:14,488 --> 00:00:17,292
All right. Good luck at tryouts.

8
00:00:17,394 --> 00:00:18,761
The other day,

9
00:00:18,797 --> 00:00:21,834
something pretty interesting
caught my eye.

10
00:00:23,907 --> 00:00:25,909
modifications must be made

11
00:00:25,978 --> 00:00:28,214
to standard microeconomic procedures

12
00:00:28,283 --> 00:00:31,821
to apply supply and demand analysis.

13
00:00:33,259 --> 00:00:36,230
First, we construct a utility function,

14
00:00:36,332 --> 00:00:38,166
where Y equals income

15
00:00:38,269 --> 00:00:40,338
and X equals the cost of services.

16
00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:41,474
Well...

17
00:00:42,544 --> 00:00:44,780
Next, we vary either X...

18
00:00:44,882 --> 00:00:46,383
Pffffbbbbb.

19
00:00:46,486 --> 00:00:48,888
What... What's on your mind?

20
00:00:48,990 --> 00:00:51,527
Well, um, with all due respect,

21
00:00:51,596 --> 00:00:54,266
you have a roomful
of aspiring Realtors here,

22
00:00:54,368 --> 00:00:56,670
and I worry that you might
be turning them off

23
00:00:56,772 --> 00:00:59,108
with all those numbers and formulas.

24
00:00:59,211 --> 00:01:01,747
It's actually a very exciting business.

25
00:01:01,849 --> 00:01:04,753
It's about people
and... and emotional connections

26
00:01:04,855 --> 00:01:06,757
and magnets with your face on them.

27
00:01:06,826 --> 00:01:08,661
You think you can just walk in here

28
00:01:08,763 --> 00:01:10,398
and start teaching this class?

29
00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:11,834
I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have...

30
00:01:11,936 --> 00:01:13,871
No, I'm asking...
can you teach this class for me?

31
00:01:13,973 --> 00:01:16,377
If I leave now, I won't have to
pay the all-day parking rate.

32
00:01:20,635 --> 00:01:21,636
10 minutes with the dean,

33
00:01:21,737 --> 00:01:24,139
who, it turns out, I'd sold a house to,

34
00:01:24,242 --> 00:01:26,043
and I was official.

35
00:01:26,145 --> 00:01:27,980
Imagine Phil Dunphy shaping minds

36
00:01:28,083 --> 00:01:30,419
in the hallowed halls
of Sequoia Community College,

37
00:01:30,488 --> 00:01:32,957
established 2016.

38
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:39,266
As you can see from this graph,
it's not about X's and Y's.

39
00:01:39,473 --> 00:01:43,412
It's about oohs and ahs.

40
00:01:46,553 --> 00:01:47,754
Okay.

41
00:01:47,856 --> 00:01:50,626
So, what does real estate equal?

42
00:01:50,728 --> 00:01:54,032
80%...

43
00:01:54,135 --> 00:01:56,036
eye contact.

44
00:02:01,149 --> 00:02:06,154
Synced and corrected by BLuk
www.addic7ed.com

45
00:02:10,866 --> 00:02:12,601
All right. Your breakfast
is almost ready.

46
00:02:12,703 --> 00:02:14,939
You're gonna need all your
energy for the courtroom today

47
00:02:15,041 --> 00:02:16,376
in case you have to yell,
"I'm out of order?

48
00:02:16,478 --> 00:02:19,181
You're out of order.
The whole damn system's out of order!"

49
00:02:19,284 --> 00:02:20,517
Might not do that.

50
00:02:20,619 --> 00:02:22,254
I think I'm winning, so big fan
of the system right now.

51
00:02:22,356 --> 00:02:23,623
- Anyway, it can't hurt
- Cam.

52
00:02:23,725 --> 00:02:26,262
to have some experienced eyes
take a look at this police work.

53
00:02:26,364 --> 00:02:28,233
Sloppy. Sloppy, sloppy.

54
00:02:28,335 --> 00:02:31,104
Okay, I know you fancy yourself
some sort of detective.

55
00:02:31,207 --> 00:02:33,977
You know, I was quite
the amateur sleuth as a boy,

56
00:02:34,046 --> 00:02:35,547
a real-life Encyclopedia Brown.

57
00:02:35,649 --> 00:02:37,050
They called me Thesaurus Jones.

58
00:02:37,152 --> 00:02:39,221
What I really need right now is
just a few minutes of silence,

59
00:02:39,324 --> 00:02:40,924
- just like...
- I would say my toughest case

60
00:02:41,026 --> 00:02:43,563
was "The Case of the Missing Snowman."

61
00:02:43,665 --> 00:02:45,767
You know, at first,
I thought he'd come to life,

62
00:02:45,836 --> 00:02:47,237
- but turns out...
- Shh! My trial!

63
00:02:47,340 --> 00:02:48,540
Today marks the fourth day

64
00:02:48,642 --> 00:02:50,344
of witness questioning
by the DA's office.

65
00:02:50,446 --> 00:02:52,381
- My God.
- Is that you?

66
00:02:52,483 --> 00:02:53,516
I look like an elf that just walked

67
00:02:53,618 --> 00:02:54,785
into his own surprise party.

68
00:02:54,854 --> 00:02:56,322
No, it's like the time we tried
to microwave a squash.

69
00:02:56,424 --> 00:02:58,994
I... Okay, this is my first big trial,

70
00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:00,964
a-a chance to make a name for myself.

71
00:03:01,066 --> 00:03:03,837
All anyone's gonna be talking
about is that awful picture!

72
00:03:03,939 --> 00:03:05,407
Okay, this is a disaster.

73
00:03:05,509 --> 00:03:07,845
Th... There's a place downtown
where all the lawyers go to drink.

74
00:03:07,947 --> 00:03:09,114
It's called The Side Bar.

75
00:03:09,217 --> 00:03:11,084
They put courtroom sketches on the wall

76
00:03:11,187 --> 00:03:12,621
of everyone's first big trial.

77
00:03:12,723 --> 00:03:13,757
Maybe nobody saw it.

78
00:03:15,061 --> 00:03:16,295
Um...

79
00:03:16,398 --> 00:03:18,800
Don't assume the worst.
It could just be an Amber Alert.

80
00:03:20,172 --> 00:03:21,973
- Hey, Dad.
- Yo.

81
00:03:22,042 --> 00:03:23,843
Since it's our first day
with our new partners,

82
00:03:23,945 --> 00:03:25,247
I thought maybe you could get to work

83
00:03:25,349 --> 00:03:27,451
as close to on time as poss...

84
00:03:27,553 --> 00:03:29,188
I will try my best.

85
00:03:30,158 --> 00:03:31,793
Hi.

86
00:03:31,895 --> 00:03:33,530
I'm sorry. Am I late?

87
00:03:33,598 --> 00:03:34,765
No, no, no, no.

88
00:03:34,867 --> 00:03:36,402
And we're not real time sticklers here.

89
00:03:36,504 --> 00:03:38,005
We've found that team members
really excel

90
00:03:38,107 --> 00:03:39,375
when they follow
their own energy rhythms.

91
00:03:39,477 --> 00:03:40,744
Interesting, 'cause I've found

92
00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:42,146
team members are happiest

93
00:03:42,216 --> 00:03:44,084
when the company stays in business,

94
00:03:44,187 --> 00:03:46,689
which means asses in chairs by 9:00.

95
00:03:48,027 --> 00:03:49,862
Dad, could I just have
a quick... quick sec with you?

96
00:03:49,964 --> 00:03:51,098
Sure.

97
00:03:51,201 --> 00:03:53,903
Um... so, Dad, look,

98
00:03:53,972 --> 00:03:56,209
the culture is just different here.

99
00:03:56,311 --> 00:03:58,413
And you just can't
come in with a sledgehammer,

100
00:03:58,515 --> 00:03:59,782
or it's gonna create tension.

101
00:03:59,884 --> 00:04:01,619
You don't want to alienate people.

102
00:04:01,721 --> 00:04:03,523
- So you want me to change who I am?
- No.

103
00:04:03,625 --> 00:04:06,195
I just want you to hide who you are.

104
00:04:06,297 --> 00:04:08,733
I mean, come on. Just a little bit.
Let's get rid of this.

105
00:04:08,835 --> 00:04:10,102
Look at that. That's better already.

106
00:04:10,205 --> 00:04:13,041
Who is this 50-something?

107
00:04:13,110 --> 00:04:15,213
- Fine. I will be on my best behavior.
- Thanks, Dad.

108
00:04:16,885 --> 00:04:19,922
- So sorry about that.
- Well, it's no problem.

109
00:04:20,024 --> 00:04:21,659
Family time is so important.

110
00:04:21,728 --> 00:04:23,930
That's why we offer 14 months
paid paternity leave.

111
00:04:24,032 --> 00:04:25,233
Kay.

112
00:04:25,302 --> 00:04:27,638
Let's see an update
on that Thinfinity model.

113
00:04:27,740 --> 00:04:29,808
Ooh. Cool design.

114
00:04:29,911 --> 00:04:31,679
- Who do I high-five for that?
- Everybody.

115
00:04:31,781 --> 00:04:34,351
Our design meetings
are organized around burstiness,

116
00:04:34,453 --> 00:04:36,355
which is a rapid-fire creative process

117
00:04:36,457 --> 00:04:38,693
that really just unlocks
the unconscious.

118
00:04:39,897 --> 00:04:41,832
Does anybody else find that distracting?

119
00:04:41,935 --> 00:04:44,371
Actually, it's great
for left-brain stimulation.

120
00:04:44,407 --> 00:04:45,408
I got winner!

121
00:04:45,442 --> 00:04:46,909
We don't keep score.

122
00:04:46,978 --> 00:04:48,813
- No?
- Watch out!

123
00:04:48,882 --> 00:04:49,949
What the hell?

124
00:04:50,017 --> 00:04:51,485
You don't know about Zorbing?

125
00:04:51,588 --> 00:04:52,988
It promotes mind/body balance.

126
00:04:53,057 --> 00:04:55,125
It's kind of like
the German version of Flerming.

127
00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:56,196
Okay, that's it.

128
00:04:56,264 --> 00:04:57,998
Now, I'm about to introduce you squids

129
00:04:58,100 --> 00:04:59,268
to a little thing called back-breaking,

130
00:04:59,337 --> 00:05:03,107
soul-crushing hard work.

131
00:05:03,148 --> 00:05:05,318
How many heart attacks have you
had here in the last five years?

132
00:05:05,420 --> 00:05:07,389
Zero? Where am I?

133
00:05:07,457 --> 00:05:09,226
America loves closets,

134
00:05:09,295 --> 00:05:11,530
and I'm here to build them, damn it!

135
00:05:12,567 --> 00:05:15,939
And you get this back when I see
people pull up in the morning

136
00:05:16,007 --> 00:05:17,575
crying in their cars.

137
00:05:19,748 --> 00:05:21,283
Yeah.

138
00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:26,060
Okay, must you?

139
00:05:26,129 --> 00:05:27,864
You know what, we are gonna make sure

140
00:05:27,932 --> 00:05:30,369
that sketch artist sees the best
possible version of you.

141
00:05:30,438 --> 00:05:32,240
Let's get those apples a-shining!

142
00:05:32,342 --> 00:05:33,709
Okay, okay, stop. Don't!

143
00:05:33,778 --> 00:05:35,746
Okay, your face gets weird
when you make that "O" sound,

144
00:05:35,848 --> 00:05:37,316
so avoid that.

145
00:05:37,385 --> 00:05:38,386
A-Are you serious?

146
00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:40,021
The defendant runs the Orange County

147
00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:42,560
Oceanic and Ornithological Organization.

148
00:05:42,674 --> 00:05:44,041
- That was hard to watch.
- Wha...

149
00:05:44,143 --> 00:05:45,612
All rise.

150
00:05:45,714 --> 00:05:47,114
Last looks.

151
00:05:48,219 --> 00:05:49,653
Be seated.

152
00:05:49,722 --> 00:05:53,227
Mr. Pritchett, you may resume
your questioning of the witness.

153
00:05:53,296 --> 00:05:54,830
Okay.

154
00:05:54,932 --> 00:05:56,800
Mitchell. Mitchell. He's here.

155
00:05:56,869 --> 00:05:58,804
Only give him your best side.

156
00:05:58,873 --> 00:06:00,608
Avoid the fluorescent lights, no O's,

157
00:06:00,677 --> 00:06:02,845
and whatever you do, do not
stand next to the bailiff.

158
00:06:02,849 --> 00:06:04,550
He is breathtaking!

159
00:06:04,619 --> 00:06:05,819
My God.

160
00:06:05,921 --> 00:06:07,122
Counselor?

161
00:06:07,191 --> 00:06:09,327
Sorry, Your Honor. Um...

162
00:06:09,396 --> 00:06:10,763
- Miss Carpenter...
- Bad side!

163
00:06:10,831 --> 00:06:16,040
do you recall seeing this man
on the night in question?

164
00:06:16,142 --> 00:06:17,809
Yes, sir.

165
00:06:17,858 --> 00:06:20,829
And is he,
to your knowledge, the C.E.O...

166
00:06:20,897 --> 00:06:24,270
of the Orange County Oceanic
and Ornithological Organization?

167
00:06:24,338 --> 00:06:25,772
Counselor, you're mumbling.

168
00:06:25,874 --> 00:06:27,008
Can you repeat that, please?

169
00:06:27,110 --> 00:06:29,078
Does he run the bird and water place?

170
00:06:29,181 --> 00:06:32,819
- He does.
- And is he here today in this...

171
00:06:35,094 --> 00:06:37,330
As I was saying... Little further.

172
00:06:37,399 --> 00:06:42,307
is he here today in this,
in this courtroom?

173
00:06:42,409 --> 00:06:43,576
That's him.

174
00:06:43,644 --> 00:06:45,613
Let the court note that I am pretty sure

175
00:06:45,715 --> 00:06:48,686
that the witness has identified
the defendant.

176
00:06:55,845 --> 00:06:56,911
Elbow patches?

177
00:06:57,013 --> 00:06:59,116
Did you burn through
another blazer at Benihana's?

178
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:01,254
Actually, it is for my new position

179
00:07:01,356 --> 00:07:04,125
teaching real estate at your school.

180
00:07:04,205 --> 00:07:05,305
What are you talking about?

181
00:07:05,407 --> 00:07:06,541
They offered me a job.

182
00:07:06,610 --> 00:07:08,110
But hey, listen... listen to me.

183
00:07:08,213 --> 00:07:09,780
Lifelong dreams aside,

184
00:07:09,816 --> 00:07:11,284
I'm not taking this
unless you're on board.

185
00:07:11,386 --> 00:07:12,486
I'm definitely not.

186
00:07:14,091 --> 00:07:15,359
I get it.

187
00:07:15,427 --> 00:07:17,028
Don't want your old Pops
cramping your style,

188
00:07:17,097 --> 00:07:18,365
so I'm... I'm out.

189
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:19,600
It's just funny.

190
00:07:19,702 --> 00:07:21,771
Can't remember the last time
I was this excited.

191
00:07:21,878 --> 00:07:22,978
But it wouldn't...
wouldn't make any sense

192
00:07:23,047 --> 00:07:24,248
unless you were excited, too.

193
00:07:24,350 --> 00:07:26,753
Not even a little bit.

194
00:07:26,855 --> 00:07:28,089
Right.

195
00:07:28,192 --> 00:07:31,262
Those poor kids, though?
I have so much to offer.

196
00:07:31,364 --> 00:07:32,531
For example,

197
00:07:32,633 --> 00:07:36,138
which house styles are sold
by which cookie type?

198
00:07:36,208 --> 00:07:38,243
French Revival...
French accent] macaroons.

199
00:07:38,312 --> 00:07:39,645
English Tudor...

200
00:07:39,714 --> 00:07:40,914
shortbread.

201
00:07:42,286 --> 00:07:44,755
But...
we both know what you want,

202
00:07:44,873 --> 00:07:47,276
so, I'll resign and go back

203
00:07:47,312 --> 00:07:50,416
to trying to figure out
what to do with my final years.

204
00:07:50,518 --> 00:07:51,584
Okay.

205
00:07:56,793 --> 00:07:58,227
I need a place to stay
for a couple of days.

206
00:07:58,296 --> 00:07:59,430
Can't go home, can't go to school,

207
00:07:59,532 --> 00:08:00,699
don't want to talk about it.

208
00:08:00,767 --> 00:08:01,934
Got it.

209
00:08:02,003 --> 00:08:04,273
I knew that Alex wanted
to talk about it,

210
00:08:04,341 --> 00:08:06,477
but I had a lot on my mind.

211
00:08:06,579 --> 00:08:08,614
I had a rough morning with Joe.

212
00:08:08,717 --> 00:08:11,320
Have a great first day.

213
00:08:11,389 --> 00:08:13,458
Aren't you gonna walk me in?

214
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,430
No. In first grade, you have drop-off.

215
00:08:16,524 --> 00:08:19,026
No one said anything about drop-off.

216
00:08:19,095 --> 00:08:20,863
What if I can't find my cubby?

217
00:08:20,932 --> 00:08:23,134
They don't have cubbies.
They have lockers here.

218
00:08:23,171 --> 00:08:25,974
Wait. Wait a second.
Where's my lunchbox?

219
00:08:26,042 --> 00:08:28,512
I signed you up
for the hot-lunch program.

220
00:08:28,581 --> 00:08:31,117
What is this place?

221
00:08:31,650 --> 00:08:33,185
Okay, I've been feeling some pressure

222
00:08:33,287 --> 00:08:35,088
about what to do
after I graduate this year,

223
00:08:35,156 --> 00:08:37,092
and my parents are constantly
asking me about it.

224
00:08:37,195 --> 00:08:39,096
I thought that you were going to work.

225
00:08:39,131 --> 00:08:42,903
So did I, but lately, I've been
questioning everything.

226
00:08:42,972 --> 00:08:44,607
I even thought about becoming a fellow.

227
00:08:44,709 --> 00:08:47,145
Ay, Alex, that's a big change.

228
00:08:47,215 --> 00:08:49,283
But at least you get
to keep the same name.

229
00:08:49,385 --> 00:08:50,919
I'm not even sure
it's what I really want.

230
00:08:50,955 --> 00:08:52,122
Okay, you have to be very sure,

231
00:08:52,191 --> 00:08:55,295
because I heard
it's even harder to reverse it.

232
00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:56,887
Can we talk about anything else?
Where's Joe?

233
00:08:56,956 --> 00:08:58,591
He started school today.

234
00:08:58,659 --> 00:09:01,296
He was so panicky
when I dropped him off.

235
00:09:01,365 --> 00:09:03,200
I don't know why. It's just first grade.

236
00:09:03,236 --> 00:09:04,469
Just first grade?

237
00:09:04,538 --> 00:09:05,671
That's when the pressure starts!

238
00:09:05,773 --> 00:09:07,742
Ay! You're freaking me out!

239
00:09:07,811 --> 00:09:11,115
Alex is going to be a very nervous man.

240
00:09:12,787 --> 00:09:14,823
E-excuse me, sketch man.

241
00:09:14,892 --> 00:09:16,940
We'd like a word with you
about your little drawings.

242
00:09:16,975 --> 00:09:18,697
- Yes.
- You don't remember me, do you?

243
00:09:18,766 --> 00:09:21,770
It's... Um...

244
00:09:21,985 --> 00:09:24,355
Well, obviously,
we have offended you somehow.

245
00:09:24,424 --> 00:09:26,793
Were you the barista we had fired?

246
00:09:26,862 --> 00:09:29,833
Here's a hint... I once stayed
in your upstairs rental.

247
00:09:31,174 --> 00:09:32,775
Who consumes an entire welcome basket?

248
00:09:32,844 --> 00:09:34,812
We usually reuse half this stuff.

249
00:09:34,881 --> 00:09:36,416
All the Altoids. He was here one night.

250
00:09:36,518 --> 00:09:38,553
He... He even ate
the horseradish mustard.

251
00:09:38,622 --> 00:09:39,756
What did he put it on?

252
00:09:39,824 --> 00:09:41,934
We purposely don't give crackers.

253
00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:46,436
- Hey.
- Hey.

254
00:09:47,012 --> 00:09:49,047
We are so sorry we offended you, but...

255
00:09:49,149 --> 00:09:50,751
Ooh, too late.

256
00:09:50,853 --> 00:09:51,886
I own you two.

257
00:09:51,955 --> 00:09:54,225
And I haven't even gotten
to my best stuff yet.

258
00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:55,928
I can go redder.

259
00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:57,264
You wouldn't.

260
00:09:57,366 --> 00:09:59,000
Just wait till I connect the brows.

261
00:09:59,102 --> 00:10:01,439
Please. We have a child.

262
00:10:03,044 --> 00:10:04,879
Fun... a reporter from CNN.

263
00:10:04,948 --> 00:10:08,186
Looks like this pretty little
portrait's about to go national.

264
00:10:08,221 --> 00:10:10,490
What... What are we gonna do?

265
00:10:10,575 --> 00:10:12,042
Okay, is it just me, or does this sound

266
00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:13,612
like a job for Thesaurus Jones?

267
00:10:13,681 --> 00:10:15,483
- It's just you.
- No. Blackmail, Mitchell!

268
00:10:15,551 --> 00:10:18,021
We just have to dig
something up on this guy.

269
00:10:18,123 --> 00:10:21,261
Shouldn't be a problem, because
everyone's hiding something.

270
00:10:21,363 --> 00:10:22,563
Everyone.

271
00:10:22,632 --> 00:10:24,934
I feel like you're sitting
on one more...

272
00:10:25,037 --> 00:10:26,471
- Everyone.
- Yep.

273
00:10:30,762 --> 00:10:32,731
Shh! Shh! Shh!

274
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:35,570
Just as I feared,
my dad had crushed the spirit

275
00:10:35,639 --> 00:10:37,741
of everyone in that office.

276
00:10:37,843 --> 00:10:39,077
I had to do something to prove

277
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:41,081
we weren't some stuffy killjoys.

278
00:10:41,149 --> 00:10:43,219
It was time to bust out Party Claire.

279
00:10:44,457 --> 00:10:46,526
She'd retired after spring break '89.

280
00:10:46,628 --> 00:10:49,198
And again in '92.

281
00:10:50,235 --> 00:10:51,636
Hey, do you have a second?

282
00:10:51,738 --> 00:10:53,740
If this is about
my respecting your process...

283
00:10:53,842 --> 00:10:56,312
Actually, we want to thank you
for laying down the law before.

284
00:10:56,381 --> 00:10:58,216
Because we have gone soft as a company,

285
00:10:58,318 --> 00:10:59,818
we needed a couple grown-ups to come in

286
00:10:59,921 --> 00:11:02,056
and put us back on track.
You know, thanks to you,

287
00:11:02,158 --> 00:11:03,326
we've gotten rid
of all the distractions...

288
00:11:03,428 --> 00:11:05,397
no more ping-pong tables, squirt guns.

289
00:11:05,499 --> 00:11:07,401
The only thing we couldn't find
was that giant...

290
00:11:07,503 --> 00:11:09,037
Break time, bitches!

291
00:11:10,909 --> 00:11:12,377
It turns out this is a little...

292
00:11:12,446 --> 00:11:13,846
My God! The Thinfinity!

293
00:11:13,949 --> 00:11:14,982
I'm so sorry!

294
00:11:15,084 --> 00:11:16,752
My God! I'm so sorry!

295
00:11:16,854 --> 00:11:18,289
I...!

296
00:11:21,364 --> 00:11:22,464
Sorry.

297
00:11:28,298 --> 00:11:30,900
Sketch boy was unusually well-groomed

298
00:11:30,935 --> 00:11:33,906
for somebody coming out
of a government-subsidized gym.

299
00:11:33,975 --> 00:11:35,576
Something wasn't right.

300
00:11:35,678 --> 00:11:38,315
I was getting
that old Thesaurus Jones tingle.

301
00:11:38,384 --> 00:11:39,818
I decided to do some sniffing around.

302
00:11:41,323 --> 00:11:43,559
Sketch guy's face had a kind of glow

303
00:11:43,594 --> 00:11:46,398
that can only be achieved with
expensive creams and unguents,

304
00:11:46,500 --> 00:11:49,504
yet all I found were packets
of cut-rate all-purpose lotions.

305
00:11:50,508 --> 00:11:53,144
According to my sources,
the gym had an executive level

306
00:11:53,214 --> 00:11:55,883
that provides all manner
of fancy spa products,

307
00:11:55,918 --> 00:11:58,154
but it's for judges and attorneys only.

308
00:11:59,235 --> 00:12:00,768
I created a diversion

309
00:12:00,837 --> 00:12:02,339
by convincing the security detail

310
00:12:02,407 --> 00:12:03,774
there was a towel emergency...

311
00:12:03,843 --> 00:12:05,745
There's a towel emergency.

312
00:12:09,622 --> 00:12:11,991
and hacked
into the gym's computer system.

313
00:12:12,026 --> 00:12:15,265
Turns out Jonah's been accessing
the executive level

314
00:12:15,333 --> 00:12:18,103
by swiping the ID of one Victor Graham,

315
00:12:18,206 --> 00:12:19,773
a retired judge.

316
00:12:22,636 --> 00:12:23,870
Members of the jury,

317
00:12:23,905 --> 00:12:26,242
the defendant, Mr. Kane,
would have you believe

318
00:12:26,311 --> 00:12:28,913
that he was working
at the time of the crime.

319
00:12:29,016 --> 00:12:30,250
Bald?

320
00:12:32,022 --> 00:12:33,122
faced lies!

321
00:12:33,191 --> 00:12:34,992
Counselor?

322
00:12:36,063 --> 00:12:38,400
Because evidence would clearly suggest

323
00:12:38,502 --> 00:12:40,937
that, um...

324
00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:43,943
That while James Kane

325
00:12:44,220 --> 00:12:48,091
does have an office on
his company's executive floor,

326
00:12:48,194 --> 00:12:50,263
he was nowhere near it that night.

327
00:12:50,365 --> 00:12:53,736
Nice try, executive-level Jim.

328
00:12:55,074 --> 00:12:56,375
Kane...

329
00:12:56,477 --> 00:12:57,811
but we're onto you.

330
00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:02,487
Ladies and gentlemen,
before you've retired, judge...

331
00:13:03,123 --> 00:13:08,566
for yourself
and draw a more accurate conclusion

332
00:13:08,635 --> 00:13:11,405
than the one Mr. Kane
would have you believe...

333
00:13:11,661 --> 00:13:14,030
Counselor, you're speaking weirdly.

334
00:13:14,066 --> 00:13:16,603
I'm sure you will find
the defendant's alibi

335
00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:18,038
to be thin.

336
00:13:19,844 --> 00:13:20,911
Even thinner.

337
00:13:27,938 --> 00:13:30,775
Good afternoon, young Realtors.

338
00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:32,779
I have a very important announcement

339
00:13:32,848 --> 00:13:34,149
to make after class,

340
00:13:34,185 --> 00:13:36,821
but in the meantime,
if you would be so kind

341
00:13:36,890 --> 00:13:38,758
as to open your books...

342
00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:41,531
Boy. I can't do this.

343
00:13:41,599 --> 00:13:45,639
Students, today is
our last day together.

344
00:13:45,707 --> 00:13:47,709
Shh, shh.

345
00:13:48,236 --> 00:13:50,505
I've treasured our time together.

346
00:13:50,541 --> 00:13:52,610
Brett, I know we got off
to a rough start,

347
00:13:52,712 --> 00:13:54,280
but once we broke down those walls,

348
00:13:54,349 --> 00:13:55,782
I'm not sure who was teaching who.

349
00:13:56,820 --> 00:14:00,057
Whitney, you're the toughest
single mother I know.

350
00:14:00,206 --> 00:14:01,773
Lucy, you be good to your mom.

351
00:14:03,111 --> 00:14:05,781
Bob, amazing how you battle
that dyslexia.

352
00:14:05,816 --> 00:14:08,052
Maybe ease off on the anger
toward your parents, though.

353
00:14:08,087 --> 00:14:09,756
They did you a solid
giving you that name.

354
00:14:09,824 --> 00:14:11,526
We're gonna miss you, Mr. Nudphy.

355
00:14:11,562 --> 00:14:13,931
It's... You... You...
You flipped it, but...

356
00:14:13,999 --> 00:14:15,427
I'm gonna miss you guys, too.

357
00:14:16,505 --> 00:14:20,009
Location. Location. Location.

358
00:14:20,078 --> 00:14:21,346
You memorized it.

359
00:14:22,450 --> 00:14:26,256
Now, for the second and last time...

360
00:14:26,325 --> 00:14:28,327
class dismissed.

361
00:14:31,343 --> 00:14:32,344
Dad.

362
00:14:32,447 --> 00:14:34,147
Luke?

363
00:14:34,217 --> 00:14:35,784
How long have you been back there?

364
00:14:35,853 --> 00:14:37,053
I pretty much saw the whole thing.

365
00:14:38,759 --> 00:14:40,761
- Hey, Dad?
- Yeah?

366
00:14:41,865 --> 00:14:43,266
Don't forget your coffee mug.

367
00:14:43,368 --> 00:14:44,435
O-

368
00:14:47,319 --> 00:14:49,254
I'm sure this all worked out
for the best.

369
00:14:49,323 --> 00:14:50,790
I'll, probably miss

370
00:14:50,892 --> 00:14:53,562
a few spontaneous
Frisbee opportunities and...

371
00:14:53,664 --> 00:14:55,700
apparently,
a tumbling exchange program...

372
00:14:55,768 --> 00:14:58,739
well...
and an Amateur Inventors Association.

373
00:14:58,808 --> 00:15:00,810
How much fun could it be
changing the world, anyway?

374
00:15:05,455 --> 00:15:08,425
A Hall and Oates Magic Show."

375
00:15:11,384 --> 00:15:13,453
- Dad, wait.
- Yes, Luke?

376
00:15:13,521 --> 00:15:14,855
Don't forget your mug again.

377
00:15:14,957 --> 00:15:16,459
Come on!

378
00:15:16,527 --> 00:15:18,529
Can't you see I'm meant to be here?

379
00:15:18,565 --> 00:15:21,167
I'm sorry, but I've never
had a school to myself.

380
00:15:21,237 --> 00:15:24,140
I was always Alex's dumb brother
or Manny's hot nephew.

381
00:15:24,210 --> 00:15:27,113
Now I can finally be my own person.

382
00:15:27,216 --> 00:15:28,716
I'm sorry. I get it.

383
00:15:28,818 --> 00:15:30,587
I-I r... I-I really do.

384
00:15:30,622 --> 00:15:32,123
I think I was just getting
a little overexcited.

385
00:15:32,226 --> 00:15:34,093
I'll...

386
00:15:34,196 --> 00:15:35,330
I'll see you at home.

387
00:15:38,232 --> 00:15:39,398
Dunphy.

388
00:15:39,467 --> 00:15:41,936
Glad I ran into you so I can
congratulate you personally.

389
00:15:42,038 --> 00:15:43,807
- Wait. I made the team?
- First string.

390
00:15:43,876 --> 00:15:45,878
I got to say, your form
on that lineout lift

391
00:15:45,946 --> 00:15:47,615
was impeccable.

392
00:15:47,717 --> 00:15:49,017
- Thanks.
- Yeah.

393
00:15:54,797 --> 00:15:56,399
Hey, Dad. I made the team.

394
00:15:56,501 --> 00:16:00,039
That's amazing!
I knew you would. You're a natural.

395
00:16:00,255 --> 00:16:01,622
Well, I had a great teacher.

396
00:16:01,724 --> 00:16:02,858
Aww!

397
00:16:03,929 --> 00:16:05,330
So, listen.

398
00:16:05,399 --> 00:16:06,966
This is a big campus.

399
00:16:07,035 --> 00:16:08,536
Maybe we could both be here

400
00:16:08,605 --> 00:16:11,342
if we promise to stay
out of each other's way.

401
00:16:13,032 --> 00:16:14,767
Well, I'd hate to step on your toes.

402
00:16:14,836 --> 00:16:16,604
No, no, y-you wouldn't.

403
00:16:16,673 --> 00:16:17,740
I would hate to stop you

404
00:16:17,775 --> 00:16:19,109
from doing something you're so good at.

405
00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:20,646
I guess I could think about it.

406
00:16:20,714 --> 00:16:23,451
I mean, it's not like
I'd be there all the time.

407
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:26,491
I, have class and office hours,

408
00:16:26,526 --> 00:16:28,929
and I have the 11:00 a.m.
to 2:00 p.m. Slot

409
00:16:28,997 --> 00:16:32,703
at the campus radio station
on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

410
00:16:32,772 --> 00:16:34,941
Hey, if you want to be my sidekick...

411
00:16:35,945 --> 00:16:37,011
- Dad?
- You're right.

412
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:38,481
It's better if I do all the voices.

413
00:16:38,584 --> 00:16:39,717
What's up?

414
00:16:43,287 --> 00:16:44,387
What's all this?

415
00:16:44,456 --> 00:16:47,426
Well, you got me so nervous
about Joe's terrible day

416
00:16:47,495 --> 00:16:49,964
that I put all this out
to cheer him up...

417
00:16:50,033 --> 00:16:52,001
sundae, video game.

418
00:16:52,108 --> 00:16:54,578
I even wrote him a little pep talk.

419
00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:56,482
We're lucky to live
in the golden age of medicines.

420
00:16:56,551 --> 00:16:58,286
Hey, Grandpa, I'm staying here
for a couple of days,

421
00:16:58,355 --> 00:16:59,555
and I do not want to talk about it.

422
00:16:59,623 --> 00:17:00,624
Cool.

423
00:17:00,726 --> 00:17:03,028
That's Joe.

424
00:17:05,836 --> 00:17:07,971
Hey, is my dad home?

425
00:17:08,074 --> 00:17:09,575
Crap. What is my mom doing here?

426
00:17:09,677 --> 00:17:11,111
Come with me.

427
00:17:11,214 --> 00:17:12,514
I owe him an apology.

428
00:17:12,583 --> 00:17:14,852
I made a huge scene at work.

429
00:17:14,921 --> 00:17:17,991
Well, sometimes
the best way to say "I'm sorry"

430
00:17:18,094 --> 00:17:19,295
is in an e-mail.

431
00:17:19,363 --> 00:17:23,970
Why don't you write him
at JaysComputerMail@aol.com?

432
00:17:24,575 --> 00:17:27,812
I plowed over a bunch
of people in a giant hamster ball.

433
00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:29,316
And then I tried to impress the foodies

434
00:17:29,385 --> 00:17:31,018
by ordering Indian for lunch.

435
00:17:31,389 --> 00:17:32,489
And then I chewed some gum

436
00:17:32,558 --> 00:17:34,058
to get rid of my coriander breath,

437
00:17:34,127 --> 00:17:35,795
and I'm pretty sure some's in my hair.

438
00:17:35,897 --> 00:17:37,632
And then I...

439
00:17:37,701 --> 00:17:39,870
tripped and fell and skinned my knee,

440
00:17:39,939 --> 00:17:41,674
and everybody saw my underwear.

441
00:17:41,742 --> 00:17:43,845
Crushed it!

442
00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:45,715
First days are easy when you're cool.

443
00:17:45,817 --> 00:17:48,654
I do feel bad for Conner B.

444
00:17:48,723 --> 00:17:51,393
He brought stinky egg salad for lunch.

445
00:17:51,462 --> 00:17:53,998
He's gonna have to eat with the nurse.

446
00:17:54,100 --> 00:17:55,368
- God!
- Ay.

447
00:17:55,403 --> 00:17:57,639
Joe, why don't you go upstairs?

448
00:17:59,251 --> 00:18:00,685
I just want to go back to my old office,

449
00:18:00,787 --> 00:18:02,054
where I had friends.

450
00:18:02,156 --> 00:18:03,591
I know.

451
00:18:03,660 --> 00:18:04,860
Sometimes...

452
00:18:04,929 --> 00:18:07,666
you know, we all have bad days.

453
00:18:09,514 --> 00:18:11,148
And...

454
00:18:11,185 --> 00:18:15,791
And sometimes, we have to...
to deal with mean boys.

455
00:18:15,860 --> 00:18:17,093
Boys are mean.

456
00:18:17,162 --> 00:18:18,697
You're right, Gloria.

457
00:18:18,766 --> 00:18:21,068
I am right?

458
00:18:21,137 --> 00:18:23,540
You know what I love
about this family?

459
00:18:23,609 --> 00:18:28,015
Mnh-mnh.
We're not quitters... especially you.

460
00:18:28,773 --> 00:18:33,079
Remember how hard it was
for you to learn how to swim?

461
00:18:33,182 --> 00:18:34,483
It was hard.

462
00:18:35,453 --> 00:18:38,357
But now it's your favorite thing
in the world

463
00:18:38,426 --> 00:18:41,964
because it reminds you
of how strong you are.

464
00:18:42,033 --> 00:18:43,668
I mean, I like to swim...

465
00:18:43,770 --> 00:18:45,638
Tomorrow can only be better.

466
00:18:46,809 --> 00:18:48,511
But just in case, I'll come at lunch,

467
00:18:48,546 --> 00:18:51,082
and I will kiss you through the fence.

468
00:18:52,684 --> 00:18:54,352
How about I text you around 11:00

469
00:18:54,421 --> 00:18:55,721
and let you know how I'm doing?

470
00:18:55,790 --> 00:18:58,527
So, you want to tell me
why you're avoiding your mom?

471
00:18:58,629 --> 00:19:01,131
I'm not avoiding her.
Hey, what's... what's all this?

472
00:19:01,201 --> 00:19:03,904
Danger O'Shea memorabilia.
I'm a big collector.

473
00:19:04,006 --> 00:19:06,243
- Who's Danger O'Shea?
- Legendary daredevil.

474
00:19:06,311 --> 00:19:09,415
Got famous for jumping over
a school bus on his motorcycle.

475
00:19:09,473 --> 00:19:10,840
Get over here! Talk to me.

476
00:19:10,909 --> 00:19:12,544
Tell me why you're avoiding your mom.

477
00:19:12,646 --> 00:19:13,846
Okay.

478
00:19:13,881 --> 00:19:16,218
Well, I've been on
a science track my whole life,

479
00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:18,856
which my parents love...
"Alex the scientist."

480
00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:22,196
But... lately, I've been
having second thoughts.

481
00:19:22,564 --> 00:19:25,268
I've always loved singing,
and... and I've been doing

482
00:19:25,370 --> 00:19:26,970
some open-mic nights recently,

483
00:19:27,039 --> 00:19:28,708
and it's been going really well.

484
00:19:28,776 --> 00:19:30,845
I see where this is going. Sing for me.

485
00:19:30,947 --> 00:19:32,782
What, like... right now?

486
00:19:32,851 --> 00:19:34,151
Just sing.

487
00:19:44,006 --> 00:19:45,742
That was great.

488
00:19:47,314 --> 00:19:48,547
Stick to science.

489
00:19:48,649 --> 00:19:51,587
Wow. You really got a knack
for pep talks in this house.

490
00:19:51,689 --> 00:19:53,724
I'm not saying it's impossible.

491
00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:55,026
I'm saying play the odds.

492
00:19:55,129 --> 00:19:57,232
For example, you take this O'Shea guy.

493
00:19:57,300 --> 00:19:58,334
Good. We're back to him.

494
00:19:58,436 --> 00:20:02,107
But he was smart.
He started a business, got established.

495
00:20:02,210 --> 00:20:03,844
And when he couldn't kick
the daredevil dream,

496
00:20:03,946 --> 00:20:05,113
he went for it.

497
00:20:05,183 --> 00:20:06,884
And he was good... real good...

498
00:20:06,986 --> 00:20:08,521
until that fateful day he tried to jump

499
00:20:08,656 --> 00:20:11,393
over a motorcycle in a school bus.

500
00:20:11,495 --> 00:20:13,798
Fortunately for him, unlike his act,

501
00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:15,000
he had a safety net.

502
00:20:15,102 --> 00:20:16,870
- His business.
- Jumped right back in.

503
00:20:16,972 --> 00:20:18,374
Within a year, it was bigger than ever.

504
00:20:18,476 --> 00:20:21,413
The point is, you've been on
the science track for 15 years.

505
00:20:21,515 --> 00:20:23,984
See it through. Build a foundation.

506
00:20:24,086 --> 00:20:27,258
If in a couple of years, you still
have the singing bug, go for it!

507
00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:29,128
I guess you're right.

508
00:20:29,198 --> 00:20:30,565
It would be pretty dumb of me

509
00:20:30,667 --> 00:20:32,435
to give up on the career path I'm on.

510
00:20:32,537 --> 00:20:34,806
I could make half a mil
my first year out of school.

511
00:20:34,908 --> 00:20:36,543
Wow! What do they pay men?

512
00:20:39,218 --> 00:20:41,954
So, Danger never did
another stunt again?

513
00:20:42,056 --> 00:20:44,793
He still brings that maverick
spirit to everything he does,

514
00:20:44,862 --> 00:20:46,763
which is why he got
to the top of his industry.

515
00:20:46,866 --> 00:20:49,803
Some people think it's the greatest
stunt he ever pulled off.

516
00:20:51,242 --> 00:20:53,477
Thanks for the talk...

517
00:20:53,579 --> 00:20:55,080
Danger.

518
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:59,715
So, I won my case, and even better,

519
00:20:59,817 --> 00:21:02,086
- this is going up at The Side Bar.
- Yeah.

520
00:21:02,189 --> 00:21:03,690
And now maybe you'll have some respect

521
00:21:03,792 --> 00:21:04,992
for my investigative skills.

522
00:21:05,094 --> 00:21:07,631
It was a pretty simple case,
because, as I've said,

523
00:21:07,733 --> 00:21:10,154
everyone has something to hide.

524
00:21:10,477 --> 00:21:12,236
Everyone.

525
00:21:22,078 --> 00:21:23,937
- You know...
- Everyone.

526
00:21:23,962 --> 00:21:28,967
Synced and corrected by BLuk
www.addic7ed.com