1
00:00:01,877 --> 00:00:03,683
You know,
that thing was perfect for Dede...

2
00:00:03,787 --> 00:00:05,285
loud, pulled way to the left,

3
00:00:05,390 --> 00:00:07,877
and constantly broke down in public.

4
00:00:07,948 --> 00:00:10,638
My ex-wife, Dede, died two months ago,

5
00:00:10,710 --> 00:00:13,128
and her husband, Jerry,
drove down with a bunch of junk

6
00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:14,595
she wanted us to have.

7
00:00:14,698 --> 00:00:15,959
I always liked Jerry.

8
00:00:16,030 --> 00:00:18,279
Then why did you always
look at him funny?

9
00:00:18,347 --> 00:00:19,949
Because I knew what he was in for.

10
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,280
Same way I look at the footage

11
00:00:21,349 --> 00:00:23,632
of those people boarding the Titanic.

12
00:00:23,701 --> 00:00:26,054
Jay, this is for you.

13
00:00:26,158 --> 00:00:27,246
Oh, God. Is that her?

14
00:00:27,350 --> 00:00:29,156
No, no, no.
Apparently this is a jar of sand

15
00:00:29,227 --> 00:00:30,656
from your honeymoon in Miami Beach.

16
00:00:30,762 --> 00:00:32,770
Oh, yeah.
We stayed at the Fontainebleau.

17
00:00:32,841 --> 00:00:35,090
- Hmm.
- Guess who we took an elevator with?

18
00:00:35,159 --> 00:00:36,420
Jackie Gleason.

19
00:00:36,489 --> 00:00:37,818
I told him we were the honeymooners,

20
00:00:37,888 --> 00:00:40,036
and, as a joke,
he threatened to punch Dede to the moon.

21
00:00:40,992 --> 00:00:41,945
Why is that funny?

22
00:00:42,014 --> 00:00:43,376
Well, that's my point. It wasn't right.

23
00:00:43,481 --> 00:00:46,616
Claire, your mom wanted you
to have her old sports car.

24
00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:47,810
Oh, great.

25
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:51,287
And Mitchell,
you get to keep her jewelry.

26
00:00:51,393 --> 00:00:52,345
Oh, so Claire gets a car,

27
00:00:52,415 --> 00:00:54,733
and I get a, uh, box of turquoise.

28
00:00:54,802 --> 00:00:55,790
Want to trade?

29
00:00:55,860 --> 00:00:56,914
No. No, it's fine.

30
00:00:57,019 --> 00:00:59,266
I have a preteen girl at home,
and she likes to play dress-up.

31
00:00:59,338 --> 00:01:00,905
And, you know, Lily might like it, too.

32
00:01:00,974 --> 00:01:03,769
Mitchell and Claire,
Dede wanted you two to decide

33
00:01:03,873 --> 00:01:05,167
who gets to keep her.

34
00:01:05,237 --> 00:01:07,008
Sorry, Jay.
She left you out of this one.

35
00:01:07,078 --> 00:01:09,122
No worries, Jerr.
I'm good with the sand.

36
00:01:09,226 --> 00:01:11,748
Hang on. Uh, what do you mean,
"gets to keep her"?

37
00:01:12,757 --> 00:01:14,032
That's Dede.

38
00:01:14,104 --> 00:01:16,555
We had her ashes organically
fused with the root ball.

39
00:01:16,659 --> 00:01:18,092
That is so Mom.

40
00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:21,227
I know. Setting up one last
thing for us to fight over,

41
00:01:21,299 --> 00:01:23,445
- because neither of us want that tree.
- Because both of us want the tree.

42
00:01:23,549 --> 00:01:24,433
What?

43
00:01:24,537 --> 00:01:25,934
That was easy.

44
00:01:35,245 --> 00:01:37,561
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com

45
00:01:39,746 --> 00:01:41,109
Oh, cool.

46
00:01:41,214 --> 00:01:43,632
Look. Nana left us her old
toy box from her house.

47
00:01:43,736 --> 00:01:46,020
Aww, bless her hoarding heart.

48
00:01:46,124 --> 00:01:50,519
Remember how I used to hide in here
and pop out like a scary monster?

49
00:01:50,625 --> 00:01:52,702
I had so much promise back then.

50
00:01:54,820 --> 00:01:56,898
A stick horse that vibrates?

51
00:01:57,002 --> 00:01:57,853
I never got the point.

52
00:01:57,957 --> 00:01:59,079
I don't know,

53
00:01:59,185 --> 00:02:01,706
but I remember spending
hours riding on it.

54
00:02:01,810 --> 00:02:02,763
Same.

55
00:02:02,868 --> 00:02:03,888
Hm.

56
00:02:03,992 --> 00:02:06,649
Oh. Lookie here, Alex.

57
00:02:06,756 --> 00:02:09,207
The source of your greatest shame...

58
00:02:09,311 --> 00:02:12,140
the puzzle that I solved
but you never did.

59
00:02:12,798 --> 00:02:13,744
Who cares?

60
00:02:13,848 --> 00:02:15,107
We were just dumb kids.

61
00:02:15,211 --> 00:02:16,232
Uh, no.

62
00:02:16,336 --> 00:02:18,142
We were dumb kids,

63
00:02:18,246 --> 00:02:20,018
and you were the genius.

64
00:02:20,123 --> 00:02:21,483
That must eat away at you.

65
00:02:21,918 --> 00:02:22,711
Please.

66
00:02:22,816 --> 00:02:25,200
I'm top of my class at a
prestigious university,

67
00:02:25,304 --> 00:02:27,383
and I co-invented a technology

68
00:02:27,487 --> 00:02:30,010
that has applications to
astrophysics and medicine.

69
00:02:30,114 --> 00:02:31,033
And give me that damn puzzle!

70
00:02:32,661 --> 00:02:35,055
Oh, my God, it's Lulu!

71
00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:36,747
She was my favorite toy.

72
00:02:37,650 --> 00:02:39,488
Mm.

73
00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:46,514
I guess I... I just really miss Nana.

74
00:02:46,618 --> 00:02:48,016
Also I'm pregnant.

75
00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:49,549
Dylan and I haven't told anyone

76
00:02:49,652 --> 00:02:51,423
because I'm still trying
to get my head around it,

77
00:02:51,528 --> 00:02:56,472
but holding Lulu made it so real.

78
00:02:56,575 --> 00:02:59,745
I'm gonna have an actual baby.

79
00:02:59,850 --> 00:03:01,075
Aah, I'm so stressed!

80
00:03:01,427 --> 00:03:02,337
I wish it was the '50s

81
00:03:02,441 --> 00:03:03,838
when it was still healthy
to drink and smoke

82
00:03:03,942 --> 00:03:05,372
when you're pregnant.

83
00:03:06,704 --> 00:03:08,712
Wow.

84
00:03:08,817 --> 00:03:10,794
I cannot wait to restore this baby.

85
00:03:10,898 --> 00:03:12,465
My high school bully had one.

86
00:03:12,570 --> 00:03:15,090
You'd be surprised how
fast this thing can go.

87
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,955
No problem catching up
with a kid on a bike

88
00:03:18,059 --> 00:03:19,762
who left school 10 minutes early.

89
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,944
I don't know if I want
another half-finished project

90
00:03:22,049 --> 00:03:23,410
rusting away in the garage.

91
00:03:23,514 --> 00:03:25,491
The only reason I stopped
working on robot lawnmower

92
00:03:25,595 --> 00:03:27,400
was 'cause he started getting too smart.

93
00:03:27,504 --> 00:03:29,925
Come on, honey. Let's keep it.

94
00:03:30,029 --> 00:03:32,891
It reminds me of how
crazy my mom could be.

95
00:03:32,996 --> 00:03:35,448
I mean, what mother has a car like this?

96
00:03:35,553 --> 00:03:38,143
How's this? We take it for one drive.

97
00:03:38,247 --> 00:03:39,951
If you're not smiling by
the time we come back,

98
00:03:40,055 --> 00:03:41,007
we get rid of it.

99
00:03:42,315 --> 00:03:43,189
- One drive?
- One drive.

100
00:03:43,294 --> 00:03:44,518
- One drive.
- One drive.

101
00:03:44,623 --> 00:03:46,838
Ugh, she used to double-buckle
me and Mitchell

102
00:03:46,942 --> 00:03:48,134
into the front seat.

103
00:03:48,238 --> 00:03:50,213
Between that and the
homemade electric blankets,

104
00:03:50,318 --> 00:03:52,124
it's a wonder we're still alive.

105
00:03:54,616 --> 00:03:55,669
What's with the plumber?

106
00:03:55,774 --> 00:03:57,743
Did Joe flush his Aquaman
down the toilet again?

107
00:03:57,753 --> 00:03:59,729
No. When my cousins left,

108
00:03:59,833 --> 00:04:02,082
they said that the hot
water in the guest bedroom

109
00:04:02,185 --> 00:04:03,410
was not working.

110
00:04:03,515 --> 00:04:05,287
The plumber just said that
there's nothing wrong.

111
00:04:05,391 --> 00:04:07,777
Someone turned it off.

112
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:09,140
Probably Joe.

113
00:04:09,244 --> 00:04:11,187
So, what are we thinking?
No play dates for a week?

114
00:04:11,291 --> 00:04:12,789
I know it was you.

115
00:04:12,893 --> 00:04:15,347
You wanted them gone,
and you froze them out.

116
00:04:15,451 --> 00:04:17,325
I'm admitting nothing,

117
00:04:17,429 --> 00:04:20,257
but you said one cousin
would be here for one day,

118
00:04:20,362 --> 00:04:21,654
and there were three here for a week.

119
00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:23,122
I never said that.

120
00:04:24,555 --> 00:04:26,089
Why is Jerry still here?

121
00:04:26,192 --> 00:04:28,407
I know. Something must be wrong.

122
00:04:28,511 --> 00:04:32,022
He's sitting in the car
like a sad little man.

123
00:04:32,126 --> 00:04:33,692
We have to go and invite him in.

124
00:04:33,798 --> 00:04:35,669
No, no, no, no.
He'll move off eventually.

125
00:04:35,774 --> 00:04:38,296
Glor... Street sweeping is Thursday.

126
00:04:39,866 --> 00:04:42,013
Jerry, is everything okay?

127
00:04:42,117 --> 00:04:43,581
Yeah, does your truck need a push?

128
00:04:43,686 --> 00:04:45,389
It's the darnedest thing.

129
00:04:45,494 --> 00:04:47,401
I can't seem to drive away.

130
00:04:47,504 --> 00:04:50,196
Dropping off Dede's stuff was
the last check on the ol' list.

131
00:04:50,302 --> 00:04:51,868
Heck if I'm not feeling pretty lost.

132
00:04:51,973 --> 00:04:54,562
Yeah, I get it.
Listen, you just drive down this street,

133
00:04:54,665 --> 00:04:56,233
turn right, and you'll hit the freeway.

134
00:04:56,337 --> 00:04:57,904
Jerry, just come inside.

135
00:04:58,009 --> 00:04:59,029
No, I couldn't.

136
00:04:59,134 --> 00:05:00,633
Yeah, got to love a man with pride.

137
00:05:00,737 --> 00:05:02,985
That's the thing that'll
serve you well on the freeway.

138
00:05:03,090 --> 00:05:05,236
Just come inside,
I'll make you something to eat,

139
00:05:05,340 --> 00:05:06,771
and you can stay as long as you want.

140
00:05:06,876 --> 00:05:07,760
Right, Jay?

141
00:05:07,863 --> 00:05:09,430
One of these days, Gloria.

142
00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:10,794
One of these days what?

143
00:05:10,866 --> 00:05:13,079
Nothing. Just one of these days.

144
00:05:14,241 --> 00:05:16,216
All right. Where should we put Mom?

145
00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:17,786
Uh, not too close to the window.

146
00:05:17,855 --> 00:05:19,421
Don't want to spend the
next 20 years whispering.

147
00:05:19,491 --> 00:05:23,274
Okay, so, your mom can be a tree,
but when I told you my Uncle Honus

148
00:05:23,345 --> 00:05:25,117
fell into a thresher
and the next spring,

149
00:05:25,220 --> 00:05:28,526
an owl appeared with his exact face
and pocket watch, you poo-pooed it.

150
00:05:28,631 --> 00:05:30,094
Why are you being so difficult?

151
00:05:30,165 --> 00:05:32,074
Because when we first got together,

152
00:05:32,177 --> 00:05:34,153
you promised that someday
we would move back

153
00:05:34,224 --> 00:05:36,233
to my family farm, and every year,

154
00:05:36,337 --> 00:05:38,279
the someday gets kicked
further down the road

155
00:05:38,383 --> 00:05:39,371
like a nosy census taker.

156
00:05:39,474 --> 00:05:42,133
And... And once you plant your mom here,

157
00:05:42,203 --> 00:05:43,157
we're never gonna leave.

158
00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:44,213
That's crazy.

159
00:05:44,284 --> 00:05:47,485
And I-I-I don't think you want to
talk about promises we made back then.

160
00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:48,578
What are you suggesting?

161
00:05:48,647 --> 00:05:50,999
- I've kept every promise I've made.
- Really?

162
00:05:51,104 --> 00:05:54,136
You promised me a rose a
month for the rest of my life,

163
00:05:54,241 --> 00:05:56,489
so I guess I dropped dead 15 years ago.

164
00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:58,194
I read an article that said
it was environmentally ins...

165
00:05:58,265 --> 00:05:59,831
I've never seen you read an article.

166
00:06:00,542 --> 00:06:03,002
Also, you said
you'd finally watch "E.T.,"

167
00:06:03,106 --> 00:06:04,367
my all-time favorite movie.

168
00:06:04,471 --> 00:06:05,833
Oh, it just seems so stupid.

169
00:06:05,938 --> 00:06:07,299
What am I caring about?

170
00:06:07,404 --> 00:06:10,460
A wrinkly puppet with a Christmas
light at the end of his creepy finger?

171
00:06:10,472 --> 00:06:14,357
And really? Me saying I would watch
some pandering sap-fest is the same

172
00:06:14,462 --> 00:06:17,768
as you saying I would someday
be reunited with my family?

173
00:06:17,873 --> 00:06:19,268
A promise is a promise.

174
00:06:19,373 --> 00:06:22,064
I couldn't agree more.

175
00:06:22,169 --> 00:06:23,292
I couldn't agree more.

176
00:06:26,223 --> 00:06:30,517
So, anyway,
you haven't missed much around here.

177
00:06:34,048 --> 00:06:35,751
I'm sorry to be such a burden.

178
00:06:35,822 --> 00:06:38,001
It's just I don't know how to move on.

179
00:06:38,072 --> 00:06:40,252
I've been going through
incense like crazy.

180
00:06:40,357 --> 00:06:41,718
Oh, poor man.

181
00:06:41,824 --> 00:06:43,116
Here. Eat something.

182
00:06:43,187 --> 00:06:46,000
I know you're a vegetarian,
so I made you tomato soup.

183
00:06:46,036 --> 00:06:46,560
Hey, hey, hey, hey.

184
00:06:46,630 --> 00:06:48,471
That looks pretty good.
You have any left over for me?

185
00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:50,005
Aw, I threw it out.

186
00:06:50,075 --> 00:06:53,244
I know that you don't like
things staying around too long.

187
00:06:53,349 --> 00:06:54,507
Mmm.

188
00:06:54,610 --> 00:06:56,281
She's mad at me.

189
00:06:56,350 --> 00:06:58,394
Her family overstayed their welcome,

190
00:06:58,464 --> 00:07:00,031
and I turned off the hot water,

191
00:07:00,136 --> 00:07:01,189
took a few bulbs out of the room.

192
00:07:01,295 --> 00:07:02,521
You know how it is when you're married.

193
00:07:02,624 --> 00:07:04,395
Dede and I never had a cross word.

194
00:07:04,499 --> 00:07:05,555
What?

195
00:07:05,660 --> 00:07:06,987
That is not possible.

196
00:07:07,059 --> 00:07:09,000
Yep. If things ever got heated,

197
00:07:09,069 --> 00:07:10,500
I'd come up behind her,

198
00:07:10,604 --> 00:07:11,557
put my hands on her neck...

199
00:07:11,660 --> 00:07:12,886
I'm with you so far.

200
00:07:12,958 --> 00:07:15,036
then massage her and
tell her she was right.

201
00:07:15,139 --> 00:07:16,876
But what if she wasn't right?

202
00:07:17,950 --> 00:07:19,502
That's ego talking.

203
00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:21,991
In Buddhism, we believe it's
better to conquer yourself

204
00:07:22,096 --> 00:07:23,356
than win a thousand battles.

205
00:07:23,391 --> 00:07:26,015
That's why Nepal is always
crushing it at the Olympics.

206
00:07:26,086 --> 00:07:27,959
Jay, an enlightened man
would go over there

207
00:07:28,064 --> 00:07:30,346
and say, "Gloria,
I love and respect you,

208
00:07:30,417 --> 00:07:32,393
"so of course I love
and respect your family.

209
00:07:32,463 --> 00:07:33,926
I am sorry."

210
00:07:33,997 --> 00:07:35,291
But it was all her fault.

211
00:07:35,394 --> 00:07:37,372
She wouldn't admit it, but she told me

212
00:07:37,441 --> 00:07:40,269
one person was staying
with us for one day.

213
00:07:40,340 --> 00:07:43,678
That's her text,
but what was her subtext?

214
00:07:44,961 --> 00:07:46,475
Jerry, you're a genius.

215
00:07:46,580 --> 00:07:48,556
She sent me a text.

216
00:07:48,661 --> 00:07:49,580
I have the proof.

217
00:07:49,683 --> 00:07:50,567
Gloria?

218
00:07:50,673 --> 00:07:52,172
- What?
- Right here.

219
00:07:52,275 --> 00:07:54,660
You don't have to walk over here.

220
00:07:54,730 --> 00:07:56,946
I can read your giant
font from across the room.

221
00:07:57,049 --> 00:07:59,127
"Jay, don't call the police
when you come home.

222
00:07:59,198 --> 00:08:00,253
"It's my cousin.

223
00:08:00,358 --> 00:08:03,356
He's staying with us for one day."

224
00:08:03,426 --> 00:08:05,096
Let me see.

225
00:08:13,348 --> 00:08:15,665
Walk me through that
Buddhist nonsense again.

226
00:08:15,738 --> 00:08:17,850
Whoo-hoo!

227
00:08:17,953 --> 00:08:20,576
Fun, huh?
Feel that wind and smell that air.

228
00:08:20,681 --> 00:08:22,384
Yeah, it's so bumpy.

229
00:08:22,488 --> 00:08:24,771
Sports suspension.
Nothing between me and the road

230
00:08:24,841 --> 00:08:26,340
except my knuckle-less gloves.

231
00:08:26,443 --> 00:08:27,977
Why do you even have those?

232
00:08:28,082 --> 00:08:29,067
Oh, a quirk of the Dunphys.

233
00:08:29,139 --> 00:08:30,774
My fingers get cold,
but my knuckles get hot.

234
00:08:30,878 --> 00:08:31,797
Ah.

235
00:08:31,866 --> 00:08:33,160
Check it out!

236
00:08:33,231 --> 00:08:34,558
There's an 8-track player. I love it.

237
00:08:34,628 --> 00:08:36,093
Let's crank something.

238
00:08:36,196 --> 00:08:38,754
Never heard of this band...
Head Cleaner.

239
00:08:38,857 --> 00:08:41,106
Yeah, why don't we just
listen to whatever's in there?

240
00:08:42,744 --> 00:08:44,276
Oh, my God.

241
00:08:44,380 --> 00:08:47,447
- Oh, this takes me back.
- Yeah, I love it.

242
00:08:59,862 --> 00:09:01,224
So fun!

243
00:09:01,296 --> 00:09:03,100
You're smiling. You love the car.

244
00:09:03,204 --> 00:09:04,533
Ah, I just remembered something.

245
00:09:04,603 --> 00:09:05,556
What? Tell me.

246
00:09:05,626 --> 00:09:07,432
It's a... It's a thing from high school.

247
00:09:07,502 --> 00:09:09,546
Come on.
There are no secrets on the open road.

248
00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:12,716
I just remembered that I lost
my virginity in this car.

249
00:09:13,193 --> 00:09:14,252
What's that now?

250
00:09:14,322 --> 00:09:16,878
Yeah, my boyfriend
snuck the car out at night

251
00:09:16,982 --> 00:09:18,106
and then, you know...

252
00:09:22,267 --> 00:09:23,492
Oh, my knuckles are overheating.

253
00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:25,062
This isn't bothering you, is it, Phil?

254
00:09:25,167 --> 00:09:26,630
I mean,
you told me about your first time.

255
00:09:26,699 --> 00:09:28,847
I told you about that to
explain why I hate bees so much.

256
00:09:28,950 --> 00:09:30,074
Let's just not talk about this anymore.

257
00:09:30,179 --> 00:09:31,131
Okay.

258
00:09:35,430 --> 00:09:37,269
This is the song that was playing,
isn't it?

259
00:09:37,339 --> 00:09:38,292
It's one of them.

260
00:09:41,587 --> 00:09:42,862
I'm gonna fix lunch. Want some?

261
00:09:42,933 --> 00:09:44,264
You're eating lunch?

262
00:09:44,296 --> 00:09:46,238
Is there some new Internet
challenge I'm not aware of?

263
00:09:46,309 --> 00:09:47,978
And why is your doll in bandages?

264
00:09:48,048 --> 00:09:50,807
You know me.
I always loved playing doctor.

265
00:09:50,878 --> 00:09:53,093
The truth is,
I accidentally ran her over

266
00:09:53,163 --> 00:09:55,036
and ripped her arm off,
which might have been fine

267
00:09:55,105 --> 00:09:58,718
if that was the only
baby-mangling issue I had today.

268
00:10:02,780 --> 00:10:03,834
Oh, my God!

269
00:10:03,939 --> 00:10:05,299
Oh, uh, uh...

270
00:10:05,404 --> 00:10:07,824
Oh, my God.

271
00:10:07,928 --> 00:10:09,461
I'm not cut out to be a mother.

272
00:10:09,564 --> 00:10:12,802
Then again, a real baby
is easier than a doll, right?

273
00:10:13,153 --> 00:10:16,042
Like, a real baby would let you know

274
00:10:16,147 --> 00:10:18,224
if it was on fire.

275
00:10:19,317 --> 00:10:21,907
Oh, God, why are you crying?

276
00:10:22,012 --> 00:10:24,329
Did you just win the
weirdest beauty pageant ever?

277
00:10:24,399 --> 00:10:27,228
Promises kept, Mitchell...
180 months of roses,

278
00:10:27,332 --> 00:10:30,364
and I just watched the
most beautiful love story

279
00:10:30,469 --> 00:10:32,546
between boy and alien.

280
00:10:32,617 --> 00:10:35,513
Why can't the world have
the hearts of children?

281
00:10:35,617 --> 00:10:36,981
Uh-huh.

282
00:10:37,555 --> 00:10:38,957
You know, I think the thing
that touched me the most

283
00:10:39,061 --> 00:10:44,039
was how we were really rooting
for E.T. to find his way home.

284
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,800
I bet you were pretty thrilled
to stumble upon that coincidence.

285
00:10:46,905 --> 00:10:47,762
I didn't hate it.

286
00:10:47,860 --> 00:10:50,449
Anyway, I'm all caught up
in the promises department.

287
00:10:50,519 --> 00:10:51,540
Your serve.

288
00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:53,688
Cam, I just started
at the D.A.'s office.

289
00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:55,598
I... I can't move anytime soon.

290
00:10:55,668 --> 00:10:57,201
Plus, what about Lily's school?

291
00:10:57,271 --> 00:10:58,838
They have schools in Grasshopper.

292
00:10:58,944 --> 00:11:00,032
Do they?

293
00:11:00,101 --> 00:11:02,692
- Plus, Lily has so many friends here.
- Does she?

294
00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:04,739
Did I hear my name?

295
00:11:04,808 --> 00:11:07,126
What are you two yentas gabbing about?

296
00:11:07,195 --> 00:11:10,262
We were just talking about moving
to Grandma and Grandpa's farm

297
00:11:10,367 --> 00:11:12,069
in... in the heart of Tornado Alley.

298
00:11:12,140 --> 00:11:15,175
Oh, God. Cam... Cam.
Look, she's clearly terrified.

299
00:11:15,212 --> 00:11:17,526
Yeah, well, don't worry, sweetie,
because it's already been determined.

300
00:11:17,630 --> 00:11:19,026
We're staying here forever,

301
00:11:19,130 --> 00:11:23,289
because other daddy is planting
dead Nana in the backyard.

302
00:11:23,393 --> 00:11:24,278
I'm out.

303
00:11:24,382 --> 00:11:26,152
Okay, it was my mother's last wish

304
00:11:26,258 --> 00:11:28,336
that one of us take her,
and Claire doesn't want her.

305
00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:29,393
What do you want me to do?

306
00:11:29,497 --> 00:11:30,621
Well, what do you want me to do?

307
00:11:30,726 --> 00:11:32,770
The farm has been in my
family for 100 years.

308
00:11:32,873 --> 00:11:34,847
You know, I'm next in line,
and you know Daddy.

309
00:11:34,882 --> 00:11:36,111
H-He's slowing down.

310
00:11:36,215 --> 00:11:39,964
Your mother just sent us a video of
him winning a log-rolling contest.

311
00:11:40,069 --> 00:11:42,828
Only in his age group,
and he was so spent the next day,

312
00:11:42,934 --> 00:11:44,398
he slept through his first rooster crow

313
00:11:44,502 --> 00:11:46,374
and his snooze rooster crow.

314
00:11:46,478 --> 00:11:48,148
Just admit it... you have no intention

315
00:11:48,149 --> 00:11:49,853
of keeping your promise
of moving to Missouri.

316
00:11:49,854 --> 00:11:51,099
You know what? You're right.

317
00:11:51,100 --> 00:11:54,407
I... I can't ever imagine myself
living on that farm. I'm sorry.

318
00:11:54,408 --> 00:11:55,430
Well, there it is.

319
00:11:57,159 --> 00:11:59,638
I'm just glad E.T. didn't
land at your house.

320
00:12:01,528 --> 00:12:03,070
Okay, don't give me that look.

321
00:12:03,170 --> 00:12:04,426
You'll get to go back to Missouri

322
00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:07,260
when your mom gets released from pris...
uh, princess camp.

323
00:12:07,329 --> 00:12:09,783
You're really hitting the
gum pretty hard, aren't you?

324
00:12:09,818 --> 00:12:12,375
How do I do this?
Do I... Do I just push down?

325
00:12:12,444 --> 00:12:13,363
I don't know.

326
00:12:13,885 --> 00:12:15,205
Nope.

327
00:12:16,297 --> 00:12:17,490
I got off to a slow start,

328
00:12:17,559 --> 00:12:19,398
but eventually I... I found my rhythm.

329
00:12:19,470 --> 00:12:21,036
And...
And once I broke that sprinkler line,

330
00:12:21,106 --> 00:12:22,980
the... the water
did most of the digging for me.

331
00:12:23,049 --> 00:12:26,355
All right, let's go. Just one last pull.

332
00:12:26,459 --> 00:12:28,640
Ah! Ah, okay, that's my ankle.

333
00:12:28,826 --> 00:12:30,051
I'm stuck.

334
00:12:30,144 --> 00:12:33,141
Cal, so, what I'm gonna
need you to do is go insi...

335
00:12:33,213 --> 00:12:36,006
Cal. Cal!

336
00:12:38,771 --> 00:12:40,030
What? What is it, boy?

337
00:12:41,282 --> 00:12:43,031
Mitchell? H-He's in trouble?

338
00:12:43,101 --> 00:12:45,930
Trapped in a hole? Show me.

339
00:12:48,182 --> 00:12:50,634
- Oh, my God, you're cheating.
- No.

340
00:12:50,706 --> 00:12:52,170
You're looking at ways
to solve the puzzle.

341
00:12:52,274 --> 00:12:54,796
How'd you do it, you pea-brain?

342
00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:55,921
Aah!

343
00:12:57,150 --> 00:12:58,547
What is wrong with me?

344
00:12:58,651 --> 00:13:00,353
Maybe Dr. Johnson is right.

345
00:13:00,424 --> 00:13:02,331
Maybe I don't have what
it takes to live on Mars.

346
00:13:03,629 --> 00:13:05,367
Stop! Stop.

347
00:13:05,437 --> 00:13:06,424
It's not you.

348
00:13:06,493 --> 00:13:07,754
After I solved the puzzle,

349
00:13:07,825 --> 00:13:09,458
I wanted to make sure you couldn't,

350
00:13:09,529 --> 00:13:11,130
so I broke a few pieces,

351
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:12,255
glued some others together.

352
00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:13,415
It can't be solved.

353
00:13:14,587 --> 00:13:16,551
I've had nightmares over that puzzle!

354
00:13:16,621 --> 00:13:17,780
I cried about it in therapy!

355
00:13:17,850 --> 00:13:18,802
Stop! Not the hair!
You're gonna fizz it.

356
00:13:18,907 --> 00:13:21,700
Hey, what the hell? Break it up.

357
00:13:21,805 --> 00:13:22,998
Luke's not playing fair.

358
00:13:23,067 --> 00:13:24,873
Yeah, well, you make him feel dumb,

359
00:13:24,943 --> 00:13:26,236
and he acts like it doesn't bother him,

360
00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:28,283
but it does. And, Luke,

361
00:13:28,352 --> 00:13:30,465
you know better than to mess
with someone so uptight.

362
00:13:30,534 --> 00:13:31,760
What do we always say?

363
00:13:31,832 --> 00:13:34,046
Don't break Alex. She's our safety net.

364
00:13:34,116 --> 00:13:35,887
Now, you both need to calm down.

365
00:13:35,957 --> 00:13:37,012
Luke, walk it off.

366
00:13:38,686 --> 00:13:39,536
Oh, no.

367
00:13:39,639 --> 00:13:40,731
Where's Lulu?

368
00:13:40,834 --> 00:13:42,195
Wh... Huh?

369
00:13:42,299 --> 00:13:43,252
The doll?

370
00:13:43,357 --> 00:13:45,333
Who cares?

371
00:13:49,389 --> 00:13:51,334
Haley, what's going on with you today?

372
00:13:51,404 --> 00:13:52,357
Are you okay?

373
00:13:53,064 --> 00:13:54,881
Okay, um...

374
00:13:54,950 --> 00:13:58,086
So, no one else knows,
especially Mom and Dad,

375
00:13:58,157 --> 00:14:01,804
so you can't tell anybody, but...

376
00:14:01,874 --> 00:14:03,371
I'm pregnant.

377
00:14:03,475 --> 00:14:04,463
You're pregnant?

378
00:14:04,567 --> 00:14:06,679
Damn it, Luke!

379
00:14:08,147 --> 00:14:09,101
Wow.

380
00:14:09,205 --> 00:14:11,829
Guys, don't look at me like that, okay?

381
00:14:11,933 --> 00:14:15,273
You must think I'm some
irresponsible idiot, don't you?

382
00:14:15,344 --> 00:14:18,786
Um, uh, it's a... Wow, that's...

383
00:14:18,856 --> 00:14:20,731
You got... That's a lot to process.

384
00:14:20,835 --> 00:14:22,638
I...

385
00:14:22,709 --> 00:14:24,651
D-Do you know who's the...

386
00:14:24,755 --> 00:14:25,708
It's Dylan's.

387
00:14:25,812 --> 00:14:27,242
Oh. What a joyous...

388
00:14:27,312 --> 00:14:28,299
Oh, save it.

389
00:14:28,404 --> 00:14:30,174
He's been great, actually.

390
00:14:30,245 --> 00:14:33,448
I'm the disaster. I mean, look at Lulu.

391
00:14:33,554 --> 00:14:35,236
I'm gonna be a horrible mother.

392
00:14:35,807 --> 00:14:39,997
Okay, first, it's just a doll.

393
00:14:40,100 --> 00:14:42,752
And you've been taking
care of us our whole lives.

394
00:14:42,865 --> 00:14:45,964
Yeah. Remember how you used to pick out

395
00:14:46,035 --> 00:14:48,521
my first day of school outfit
so I wouldn't get beat up?

396
00:14:48,590 --> 00:14:52,000
Or how you'd hold the book while
I read myself a bedtime story?

397
00:14:52,070 --> 00:14:53,774
And you're still doing it.

398
00:14:53,877 --> 00:14:57,320
You just swooped in and
handled our fight like a pro.

399
00:14:57,390 --> 00:15:00,900
And you're understanding and
loving and a total badass.

400
00:15:01,005 --> 00:15:02,401
She's right.

401
00:15:02,470 --> 00:15:04,617
You're the kind of person
that can patch things up

402
00:15:04,686 --> 00:15:07,140
if, say, Alex ever found out

403
00:15:07,177 --> 00:15:09,424
that I re-arranged the
stickers on her Rubik's Cube.

404
00:15:09,529 --> 00:15:12,221
You son of a...

405
00:15:12,326 --> 00:15:14,438
Aah! Hair, hair! Haley, help!

406
00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:18,121
Oh. Well, I'm smiling,

407
00:15:18,225 --> 00:15:19,894
so I guess we're keeping the car.

408
00:15:19,998 --> 00:15:21,496
No, you know what? You're right.

409
00:15:21,567 --> 00:15:23,849
It's not safe,
and it's just gonna take up space.

410
00:15:24,416 --> 00:15:26,306
Honey, did I say something wrong?

411
00:15:26,409 --> 00:15:27,362
Are you feeling bad?

412
00:15:27,432 --> 00:15:29,407
Well, I-I guess if I'm being honest,

413
00:15:29,479 --> 00:15:31,249
I'm a-a little worried that
every time I get in the car,

414
00:15:31,321 --> 00:15:33,636
I'll picture you and, uh...

415
00:15:33,741 --> 00:15:34,624
Todd.

416
00:15:34,730 --> 00:15:35,956
- Todd?
- Todd.

417
00:15:36,025 --> 00:15:37,558
Todd was the name of my bully.

418
00:15:37,629 --> 00:15:38,683
It's getting realer.

419
00:15:38,754 --> 00:15:40,252
I mean, how would you feel

420
00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:43,184
about driving around in the
sweet ride I lost my virginy in?

421
00:15:43,288 --> 00:15:46,800
Do you really think you can track down
the ox cart from the Renaissance fair?

422
00:15:46,870 --> 00:15:49,493
I only got to second
base in the ox cart.

423
00:15:49,564 --> 00:15:51,984
If it makes you uncomfortable,
we can sell the car.

424
00:15:52,053 --> 00:15:53,859
- Really?
- Yeah.

425
00:15:53,963 --> 00:15:54,780
Thank you.

426
00:15:54,850 --> 00:15:57,201
But for what it's worth,

427
00:15:57,270 --> 00:16:00,031
I don't want to keep it because
I had so much great sex in it.

428
00:16:00,100 --> 00:16:03,407
- So much?
- No, it's because of what happened the next day.

429
00:16:03,476 --> 00:16:07,533
My mom, ugh,
she found the condom wrapper

430
00:16:07,603 --> 00:16:11,181
under the seat,
and it must have freaked her out.

431
00:16:11,251 --> 00:16:14,729
But instead of shaming me

432
00:16:14,764 --> 00:16:19,706
or... or embarrassing me with some long,
awful lecture,

433
00:16:19,778 --> 00:16:22,162
she was cool.

434
00:16:22,198 --> 00:16:24,686
She wanted to make sure that
I was okay with everything

435
00:16:24,756 --> 00:16:27,140
and that it had all
been a good experience.

436
00:16:27,245 --> 00:16:28,120
But...

437
00:16:29,462 --> 00:16:31,199
Wow.

438
00:16:31,268 --> 00:16:34,711
That must be why she
wanted me to have the car.

439
00:16:34,781 --> 00:16:37,882
That talk meant as much
to my mom as it did to me.

440
00:16:37,988 --> 00:16:40,337
That's incredibly sweet,

441
00:16:40,373 --> 00:16:43,134
and, if it means that much to you,
you should keep it.

442
00:16:43,205 --> 00:16:45,044
But I doubt I'll ever
feel comfortable in it.

443
00:16:45,959 --> 00:16:47,840
We can fix that.

444
00:16:51,831 --> 00:16:53,263
I like where this is going.

445
00:16:53,333 --> 00:16:56,502
I'm gonna make you the best
sex I ever had in this car.

446
00:16:56,570 --> 00:16:58,241
That's a lot of pressure.
Let's aim for top three.

447
00:16:58,345 --> 00:16:59,366
Mm.

448
00:17:03,818 --> 00:17:06,800
Gloria. I have something to say.

449
00:17:06,905 --> 00:17:10,757
My approach cost me a phone and
a second visit from the plumber,

450
00:17:10,826 --> 00:17:13,381
so I decided to try Jerry's advice

451
00:17:13,416 --> 00:17:16,825
and give Gloria a heartfelt,
sincere apology.

452
00:17:16,929 --> 00:17:18,361
How hard could that be to fake?

453
00:17:18,430 --> 00:17:22,009
I was wrong to chase off your cousins.

454
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:24,840
I'm sorry that I didn't...

455
00:17:24,910 --> 00:17:27,158
take your feelings into consideration.

456
00:17:27,722 --> 00:17:31,148
You deserve to be respected.

457
00:17:31,219 --> 00:17:33,263
What I should've said was I love you,

458
00:17:33,333 --> 00:17:35,070
so I love your family.

459
00:17:35,173 --> 00:17:38,139
Please forgive me for my rude behavior.

460
00:17:38,208 --> 00:17:41,207
Jay, this is all I ever wanted.

461
00:17:41,774 --> 00:17:45,096
For you to come to me like this,
it means the world to me.

462
00:17:45,199 --> 00:17:46,424
I'm sorry.

463
00:17:46,494 --> 00:17:49,597
I should've been more forward
about my cousin's visit.

464
00:17:49,701 --> 00:17:53,280
And I was wrong for
crushing your cellphone.

465
00:17:53,383 --> 00:17:54,643
Can you ever forgive me?

466
00:17:54,748 --> 00:17:57,029
Well, it may take a little while,
but sure,

467
00:17:57,101 --> 00:17:58,052
I guess I can.

468
00:17:58,158 --> 00:17:59,588
You know what I'm going to do?

469
00:17:59,658 --> 00:18:03,271
I'm gonna go to that
butcher shop that you like.

470
00:18:04,057 --> 00:18:06,373
And, if Jerry doesn't mind,

471
00:18:06,478 --> 00:18:09,340
I'm gonna buy you
a beautiful steak for dinner.

472
00:18:09,445 --> 00:18:11,352
Hey, it's your house.
You do what's best for you.

473
00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:12,956
Come to my house, I'm going to be nude.

474
00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:15,173
We're never going to go
to your house, Jerry.

475
00:18:15,276 --> 00:18:16,808
Did you hear that, Stella?

476
00:18:16,879 --> 00:18:18,003
We're gonna have a steak.

477
00:18:18,073 --> 00:18:19,229
Jerry, you're a genius.

478
00:18:19,301 --> 00:18:21,004
- This is life-changing.
- What did I tell you?

479
00:18:21,073 --> 00:18:22,776
I wish I had tried this years ago.

480
00:18:22,881 --> 00:18:25,880
This would've made my life
with Dede downright tolerable.

481
00:18:25,949 --> 00:18:26,903
Who knows?

482
00:18:26,972 --> 00:18:28,233
Maybe we even could've been happy.

483
00:18:28,303 --> 00:18:29,324
I'm glad you think so.

484
00:18:29,394 --> 00:18:31,745
But I'm not the one you need to tell.

485
00:18:31,815 --> 00:18:35,461
Hey, Dede, it's me, Jay.
Just wondering how you're doing.

486
00:18:35,567 --> 00:18:36,519
Dad?

487
00:18:36,622 --> 00:18:38,395
Uh, it's Saturday here.

488
00:18:38,465 --> 00:18:40,610
You're not leaving a voicemail.

489
00:18:40,681 --> 00:18:41,633
- From the heart.
- Yeah.

490
00:18:41,739 --> 00:18:43,783
What I wanted to say is

491
00:18:43,887 --> 00:18:47,262
I could've handled a lot of
things better in our relationship.

492
00:18:47,366 --> 00:18:48,284
Mm.

493
00:18:48,389 --> 00:18:49,886
I guess I wasn't a very good partner.

494
00:18:49,957 --> 00:18:51,147
I dug in a lot.

495
00:18:51,251 --> 00:18:54,082
I never thought of things
from your point of view.

496
00:18:54,151 --> 00:18:57,524
I guess I always needed
to get my own way.

497
00:18:57,596 --> 00:18:59,060
Anyway, you were a good woman,

498
00:18:59,130 --> 00:19:00,423
and we had some fun times,

499
00:19:00,528 --> 00:19:02,435
especially in the sack.

500
00:19:02,540 --> 00:19:04,038
Never had a problem there.

501
00:19:04,108 --> 00:19:05,982
Careful.
That's my wife you're talking to.

502
00:19:06,087 --> 00:19:07,858
- Oh, sorry, Jerr, yeah.
- Okay.

503
00:19:07,928 --> 00:19:10,210
I hope you grow up into a nice,
big tree,

504
00:19:10,315 --> 00:19:12,496
a-and I hope you don't
get any of those beetles

505
00:19:12,599 --> 00:19:13,587
that are killing everything.

506
00:19:13,656 --> 00:19:15,564
And when you settle
in in a little while,

507
00:19:15,634 --> 00:19:17,746
maybe I'll bring Joe over
and he can climb you.

508
00:19:17,817 --> 00:19:20,202
- Mm.
- Amen.

509
00:19:20,908 --> 00:19:22,111
You done?

510
00:19:22,182 --> 00:19:23,374
Yeah, I think so.

511
00:19:23,444 --> 00:19:24,805
Mind if I say a word?

512
00:19:24,909 --> 00:19:26,749
She's all yours.

513
00:19:26,854 --> 00:19:28,999
Jay was a big man.

514
00:19:29,104 --> 00:19:31,251
He apologized to his wife.

515
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:33,193
And do you know what she did?

516
00:19:33,264 --> 00:19:34,832
She apologized back!

517
00:19:35,393 --> 00:19:37,558
Did you ever do that even once?

518
00:19:37,663 --> 00:19:41,822
I apologized to you a thousand times,
and you let me just eat it.

519
00:19:41,927 --> 00:19:43,356
Well, I'm tired of telling
you you're always right,

520
00:19:43,461 --> 00:19:44,652
'cause guess what?

521
00:19:44,722 --> 00:19:47,209
That dolphin did not recognize you.

522
00:19:47,281 --> 00:19:49,017
Your haikus had too many syllables.

523
00:19:49,122 --> 00:19:51,575
And trust me, vegans do need deodorant!

524
00:19:51,678 --> 00:19:54,609
All right. Come on.

525
00:19:54,713 --> 00:19:56,178
Come on, kid.
Let me buy you a nice steak.

526
00:19:56,283 --> 00:19:57,236
Yeah.

527
00:19:57,306 --> 00:19:59,315
Hey. Here.

528
00:19:59,385 --> 00:20:00,919
I-I want you to eat something.

529
00:20:01,023 --> 00:20:02,045
Be careful.

530
00:20:02,113 --> 00:20:04,021
Thank you for taking
such good care of me,

531
00:20:04,126 --> 00:20:05,079
even when you're mad.

532
00:20:05,149 --> 00:20:07,262
No. My gosh, I am not mad.

533
00:20:07,365 --> 00:20:08,658
And I shouldn't have pushed.

534
00:20:08,765 --> 00:20:12,104
I-I'm sorry, but, you know,
if we learn one thing today,

535
00:20:12,207 --> 00:20:15,105
it's that you couldn't
survive on a farm.

536
00:20:15,209 --> 00:20:16,673
I'll be fine,

537
00:20:16,777 --> 00:20:19,127
- because I'll be with you.
- What?

538
00:20:19,231 --> 00:20:22,163
I guess w-when I look at
things from your point of view,

539
00:20:22,268 --> 00:20:24,755
I... I made a promise.

540
00:20:24,860 --> 00:20:27,311
When your dad needs you
to take over the farm,

541
00:20:27,416 --> 00:20:28,370
I'm in.

542
00:20:28,473 --> 00:20:30,689
Mitchell, that means so much to me,

543
00:20:30,793 --> 00:20:32,735
and you're gonna love it.

544
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:35,019
The fresh air, and there's no traffic.

545
00:20:35,123 --> 00:20:38,190
Oh, and with a second lawyer in town,
we could reopen the courthouse.

546
00:20:38,295 --> 00:20:40,339
H-Have you ever milked a goat?

547
00:20:40,444 --> 00:20:42,737
Have you ever had fresh
milk right from the spigot?

548
00:20:42,831 --> 00:20:44,397
Oh, unbelievable.

549
00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:46,204
You do have to be careful
of snakes and mice and rats.

550
00:20:46,308 --> 00:20:48,318
There's a ton of field mice.

551
00:20:48,422 --> 00:20:50,995
They scare me. One ran up my
sleeve one time when I was a kid.

552
00:20:52,938 --> 00:20:56,115
This car is smaller than I remember.
I think I'm just less flexible?

553
00:20:56,220 --> 00:20:58,296
- I think I threw out my lap.
- Oh.

554
00:20:58,792 --> 00:21:00,821
We were, um,
just cleaning out the garage.

555
00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:02,286
Mm, nice try. We heard everything.

556
00:21:02,391 --> 00:21:03,513
Yeah, although around the finish line,

557
00:21:03,620 --> 00:21:05,800
we kind of lost track of who was who.

558
00:21:05,903 --> 00:21:09,175
I can't believe Mom caught you
having sex in her car again.

559
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:11,767
You're calling the tree Mom? Okay.

560
00:21:11,872 --> 00:21:13,711
So, listen, after some reflection,

561
00:21:13,815 --> 00:21:16,247
we decided that she
might be better off here.

562
00:21:16,282 --> 00:21:17,394
Now, before you say no...

563
00:21:17,429 --> 00:21:18,690
I'd actually really like that.

564
00:21:19,370 --> 00:21:20,361
Hey!

565
00:21:20,464 --> 00:21:22,354
What was all that
screeching in the garage?

566
00:21:22,390 --> 00:21:23,293
Are the raccoons back?

567
00:21:23,294 --> 00:21:24,486
Damn it!

568
00:21:28,676 --> 00:21:30,761
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