1 00:00:04,913 --> 00:00:07,408 Okay, folks, you might want to put on some sunscreen. 2 00:00:07,451 --> 00:00:10,539 Up this high, the trees start to thin out. 3 00:00:10,582 --> 00:00:12,062 Oh, this might be a good place for a picture. 4 00:00:12,104 --> 00:00:13,161 Oh, let me go behind that rock. 5 00:00:13,204 --> 00:00:14,558 I'll change into my next look. 6 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:15,616 Another one? 7 00:00:15,657 --> 00:00:17,942 He has to. His Instagram follower demands it. 8 00:00:17,984 --> 00:00:18,788 Eagle! 9 00:00:18,830 --> 00:00:20,269 Oh, wait, false alarm. 10 00:00:20,311 --> 00:00:21,792 It's just a plastic bag in a tree. 11 00:00:21,833 --> 00:00:22,553 Eagle! 12 00:00:22,595 --> 00:00:24,033 Nope. Sorry. 13 00:00:24,076 --> 00:00:25,092 Bag fell. 14 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:27,460 Every winter, 15 00:00:27,502 --> 00:00:29,786 I take a bird-watching trip with my buddies... 16 00:00:29,829 --> 00:00:31,732 specifically to see a bald eagle. 17 00:00:31,775 --> 00:00:33,509 So far, no luck. 18 00:00:33,552 --> 00:00:36,852 This year, my buddies bailed... back spasm, cracked hip. 19 00:00:36,894 --> 00:00:39,728 And I'm the idiot for installing a shower chair. 20 00:00:39,771 --> 00:00:41,462 I was all set to go solo, 21 00:00:41,505 --> 00:00:44,170 when those three tagalongs invited themselves. 22 00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:45,735 They invaded my territory 23 00:00:45,778 --> 00:00:48,273 like a bunch of bay-breasted warblers. 24 00:00:48,315 --> 00:00:50,473 Darned if I didn't feel like a bay-breasted warbler 25 00:00:50,515 --> 00:00:53,941 horning in on Jay's trip, but Gloria made us go. 26 00:00:53,984 --> 00:00:55,423 She was worried about my dad 27 00:00:55,464 --> 00:00:57,326 being out in the woods alone at his age, 28 00:00:57,369 --> 00:00:59,948 so she... she gently nudged us to join him. 29 00:00:59,991 --> 00:01:02,529 Gloria, if my dad doesn't want us t... 30 00:01:02,572 --> 00:01:04,504 Hey, Dad, uh, whatcha doin' this weekend? 31 00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:07,183 - Ah, little nature trip. - Oh! Sounds like fun. 32 00:01:07,225 --> 00:01:08,071 - Count us in! - Yes. 33 00:01:08,113 --> 00:01:09,974 Actually, I was looking for a little alone time... 34 00:01:10,017 --> 00:01:13,528 Hey! Am I the only one with bald eagles on the brain? 35 00:01:14,353 --> 00:01:15,855 You know what? I think in about 10 minutes, 36 00:01:15,897 --> 00:01:19,069 the light's gonna be perfect for my "Afternoon Adventurer" look. 37 00:01:19,112 --> 00:01:21,143 Okay, uh, before we head deeper into the woods, 38 00:01:21,184 --> 00:01:24,527 I should warn you folks that there's been several bear sightings in the area. 39 00:01:24,569 --> 00:01:26,811 - So if you happen to have any food with you... - Got it! 40 00:01:29,646 --> 00:01:33,241 I was going to say you can store it in this bear box... here. 41 00:01:33,284 --> 00:01:34,257 Oh. Um, okay. 42 00:01:34,298 --> 00:01:35,822 Well, then, talk amongst yourselves. 43 00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:37,260 It could take me a while 44 00:01:37,302 --> 00:01:39,332 to find where my manly heave sent that heavy... 45 00:01:39,375 --> 00:01:41,490 Ah! Here it is. Someone must've heaved it back. 46 00:01:41,532 --> 00:01:42,880 Thank you! 47 00:01:57,447 --> 00:01:58,662 Hello! 48 00:01:58,740 --> 00:02:01,190 Oh, hey, Gloria. Thanks for coming. 49 00:02:01,233 --> 00:02:02,496 It's gonna be such a fun girls' night... 50 00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:05,237 drinking wine, planning the nursery. 51 00:02:05,281 --> 00:02:06,543 Okay, I was going to surprise you, 52 00:02:06,587 --> 00:02:09,459 but I can't wait anymore. 53 00:02:09,503 --> 00:02:13,376 It's a handmade mobile of great women in history! 54 00:02:13,420 --> 00:02:14,943 Eleanor Roosevelt, 55 00:02:14,986 --> 00:02:15,813 Rosa Parks! 56 00:02:15,857 --> 00:02:16,858 Ohh! 57 00:02:16,901 --> 00:02:19,513 I just hope it goes with the theme that Dylan wants for the room. 58 00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:21,297 Are any of these women important in the fields 59 00:02:21,341 --> 00:02:23,255 of fire trucks or unicorns? 60 00:02:23,299 --> 00:02:24,100 Oh! 61 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,102 How perfect is this? 62 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:30,889 They delivered the crib, and I know just the crew of handy honeys 63 00:02:30,933 --> 00:02:32,282 to help me put it together. 64 00:02:32,326 --> 00:02:34,197 Uh, not now, Mom. I've had the worst day. 65 00:02:34,241 --> 00:02:35,198 Me, too. 66 00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:36,417 Quick, start crying. 67 00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:38,419 We need to derail her enthusiasm before she's... 68 00:02:38,462 --> 00:02:40,203 Unh! Too late. 69 00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:41,465 She's dancing. 70 00:02:41,509 --> 00:02:43,728 Way to rock it, girlfriend! 71 00:02:44,686 --> 00:02:46,601 I cannot deny it anymore. 72 00:02:46,644 --> 00:02:49,430 I am turning into a white woman. 73 00:02:52,052 --> 00:02:54,086 Is there a problem, girlfriends? 74 00:02:54,130 --> 00:02:55,566 Spin class was canceled! 75 00:02:56,178 --> 00:02:57,002 No! 76 00:02:57,046 --> 00:02:58,830 What are we gonna do with our day? 77 00:02:58,874 --> 00:03:00,310 "When In Doubt... 78 00:03:00,354 --> 00:03:01,355 Brunch." 79 00:03:01,398 --> 00:03:02,921 Where's the nearest place that serves kale 80 00:03:02,965 --> 00:03:04,836 and also has a pun in its name? 81 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:07,143 There's an Underground Kale-Road down the street! 82 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,493 - Let's go! - Thank God. 83 00:03:09,537 --> 00:03:11,365 I've gotten soft lately. 84 00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:13,671 I think I've lost my Colombian edge. 85 00:03:13,715 --> 00:03:16,239 I think we'll all feel better if we accomplish something. 86 00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:17,414 Yes. Unlike Jay. 87 00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:21,244 He's been going on these hunting trips for 20 years, 88 00:03:21,288 --> 00:03:24,595 and not once has he brought home a bald eagle! 89 00:03:29,426 --> 00:03:30,253 Oh, God. 90 00:03:30,297 --> 00:03:31,820 Hendrix couldn't read music, 91 00:03:31,863 --> 00:03:33,517 Shaq couldn't make free throws, 92 00:03:33,561 --> 00:03:36,346 and I have a little trouble visualizing space and scale. 93 00:03:36,390 --> 00:03:38,696 So, I think this closet design gives us everything we need 94 00:03:38,740 --> 00:03:40,307 in a tight, residential space. 95 00:03:40,350 --> 00:03:41,308 Yeah. Very clever. 96 00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:42,526 Take a walk-through. 97 00:03:42,570 --> 00:03:44,485 Does the flow make sense? 98 00:03:44,528 --> 00:03:45,442 Well, um... 99 00:03:45,983 --> 00:03:47,923 I would get out of the shower 100 00:03:47,966 --> 00:03:50,534 and throw my clothes in the hamper here, 101 00:03:50,578 --> 00:03:52,101 pick out an outfit, and then get dressed right here. 102 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:54,973 You just threw your clothes in the fireplace 103 00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:56,671 and got dressed in front of the picture window. 104 00:03:56,714 --> 00:03:59,978 Well, you have your morning routine, Mia. 105 00:04:00,022 --> 00:04:01,937 I have mine. 106 00:04:02,775 --> 00:04:04,853 All right, let's get this over with. 107 00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:06,420 Mom, where do we start? 108 00:04:06,463 --> 00:04:07,373 Um... 109 00:04:07,403 --> 00:04:10,511 Maybe Mommy just needs some cougar juice! 110 00:04:11,655 --> 00:04:13,470 What's wrong with me? 111 00:04:14,890 --> 00:04:16,166 Watch your step, folks. 112 00:04:16,204 --> 00:04:19,128 Some of the terrain gets a little tricky on this part of the hike. 113 00:04:19,171 --> 00:04:20,303 - Oh. Good. - I thought I'd changed 114 00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:23,088 into my "Remote Trailhead" look too soon. 115 00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:25,090 You okay, Dad? Want to stop and take a break? 116 00:04:25,134 --> 00:04:27,484 No, no. I just want to stop and maybe see an eagle. 117 00:04:27,528 --> 00:04:28,833 Everybody look. 118 00:04:31,699 --> 00:04:33,751 You've been doing this for 20 years and never seen one, huh? 119 00:04:33,795 --> 00:04:35,449 Correct. Shh. 120 00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:36,928 Oh. 121 00:04:38,582 --> 00:04:40,454 Yeah. Mother Nature can be a real... 122 00:04:40,497 --> 00:04:42,543 Phil, stop talking! 123 00:04:42,586 --> 00:04:44,153 You're scaring the eagles! 124 00:04:44,196 --> 00:04:46,547 I'm sorry. My bad. My bad. 125 00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:49,376 - Also sorry in my head. - Oh, my God! 126 00:04:49,419 --> 00:04:51,682 Since we're talking again, uh, we should start heading back. 127 00:04:51,726 --> 00:04:53,162 It'll be dark soon. 128 00:04:53,205 --> 00:04:55,512 Or, if you'd like, there's a cabin just up this trail. 129 00:04:55,556 --> 00:04:56,687 It's pretty run-down, but, uh, 130 00:04:56,731 --> 00:04:57,775 you're welcome to spend the night. 131 00:04:57,819 --> 00:04:59,560 - I'll do it. - Oh. 132 00:04:59,603 --> 00:05:01,126 Are... Are we sure that's a good idea? 133 00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:03,390 Um... wasn't there... wasn't there mention of bears? 134 00:05:03,433 --> 00:05:05,696 No, you go home. I'll stay by myself. 135 00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:07,560 We... We can't let him stay by himself. 136 00:05:07,590 --> 00:05:09,044 We told Gloria we'd keep him safe. 137 00:05:09,113 --> 00:05:10,723 Yeah, if he's staying, we're staying. 138 00:05:10,817 --> 00:05:13,472 Yeah. Yeah. What... What's the worst that could happen? 139 00:05:13,515 --> 00:05:15,169 I mean, in the movies, when city folk stay overnight 140 00:05:15,213 --> 00:05:18,042 in abandoned cabins, things usually pan out okay. 141 00:05:18,085 --> 00:05:20,087 Anyway, I'm gonna run ahead, see if they have any postcards 142 00:05:20,131 --> 00:05:22,742 up at this poorly guarded mental institution. 143 00:05:24,526 --> 00:05:26,398 Damn it, I'm starving. 144 00:05:26,441 --> 00:05:28,530 Nothing in here but an old bottle of whiskey. 145 00:05:28,574 --> 00:05:30,532 Well, just try not to think about how hungry you are 146 00:05:30,576 --> 00:05:32,143 or that Mitchell left the food in the bear box. 147 00:05:32,186 --> 00:05:34,145 We all left the food in the... 148 00:05:34,188 --> 00:05:34,972 Did you change again? 149 00:05:36,016 --> 00:05:37,409 Yeah, I just threw a few things together 150 00:05:37,452 --> 00:05:39,193 to create a "Rustic Cabin" look. 151 00:05:39,237 --> 00:05:41,804 Well, at least the bears won't be a concern. 152 00:05:41,848 --> 00:05:43,154 Take it from a Realtor. 153 00:05:43,197 --> 00:05:45,373 This Smith & Wiley lock is the gold standard. 154 00:05:53,483 --> 00:05:55,171 All right, I think we are now ready 155 00:05:55,214 --> 00:05:59,709 to put together our beautiful, L-shaped crib. 156 00:05:59,752 --> 00:06:02,134 I-I... This can't be right. One's way bigger. 157 00:06:02,176 --> 00:06:04,601 And what, my babies are supposed to come and go as they please, 158 00:06:04,644 --> 00:06:06,132 like they're in a halfway house? 159 00:06:06,174 --> 00:06:09,493 Um, so, a minor misreading of the diagram. 160 00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:12,556 I think we're just gonna need to swap a short side for a long side. 161 00:06:12,598 --> 00:06:13,831 And in the meantime, we bent that bracket. 162 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,256 Alex, would you mind running down to the hardware store? 163 00:06:16,299 --> 00:06:17,574 No way. 164 00:06:17,617 --> 00:06:19,489 I don't trust myself to drive anymore. 165 00:06:19,531 --> 00:06:21,446 I signed up to be the student liaison 166 00:06:21,488 --> 00:06:22,976 for a visiting scholar on campus... 167 00:06:23,019 --> 00:06:24,508 Sir Kenneth Penrose. 168 00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:26,890 Yes, that Sir Kenneth Penrose. 169 00:06:26,933 --> 00:06:28,975 Rock star of the microbiology world. 170 00:06:29,018 --> 00:06:30,591 I know you must hear this a lot, 171 00:06:30,633 --> 00:06:32,335 but you're the reason I took up snooker. 172 00:06:32,378 --> 00:06:33,398 Do you still play? 173 00:06:33,441 --> 00:06:35,355 I've had to lay down my cue lately. 174 00:06:35,398 --> 00:06:37,993 I've been working for months on an Ebola vaccine. 175 00:06:38,035 --> 00:06:39,652 Just moments ago, I had a breakthrough. 176 00:06:39,694 --> 00:06:41,565 I can't wait to get to the lab and jot... 177 00:06:41,608 --> 00:06:42,885 - Hey! - Aah! 178 00:06:44,033 --> 00:06:45,947 Whoa! That was my chemistry advisor. 179 00:06:45,990 --> 00:06:48,074 I would not want to be known as the girl who... 180 00:06:49,095 --> 00:06:50,056 Sir Kenneth? 181 00:06:51,307 --> 00:06:52,710 W-Where am I? 182 00:06:52,753 --> 00:06:54,540 You don't know the shame. 183 00:06:54,582 --> 00:06:55,816 Now they won't let me drive around 184 00:06:55,859 --> 00:06:58,491 anyone smarter than a sociology professor. 185 00:06:58,534 --> 00:07:00,533 You know what else hit the ground today? Me. 186 00:07:00,576 --> 00:07:03,936 While I was bending over to pickup a doughnut off the floor! 187 00:07:03,979 --> 00:07:05,637 It was covered in dust balls, but I didn't care, 188 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:07,169 'cause I'm a disgusting pig monster. 189 00:07:07,211 --> 00:07:08,147 Oh, honey, please. 190 00:07:08,189 --> 00:07:09,551 You're as... 191 00:07:09,594 --> 00:07:10,869 as beautiful as ever. 192 00:07:10,912 --> 00:07:12,699 Tell that to MugScan. 193 00:07:12,741 --> 00:07:16,399 MugScan is a face-recognition program we use at work. 194 00:07:16,442 --> 00:07:18,186 It was really mean to me. 195 00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:21,419 Good morning, Wayne. 196 00:07:21,461 --> 00:07:22,398 Wayne? 197 00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:24,226 I'm not Wayne, you jerk! 198 00:07:25,248 --> 00:07:27,033 Gosh! 199 00:07:35,243 --> 00:07:36,010 You all right, Haley? 200 00:07:37,030 --> 00:07:39,072 I'm fine, Wayne. 201 00:07:39,115 --> 00:07:41,412 One of my shoes flew off in the fall, 202 00:07:41,454 --> 00:07:43,921 and I couldn't put it back on because my feet were so swollen. 203 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:46,814 You know who makes a great shoe? New Balance. 204 00:07:46,857 --> 00:07:48,940 I wear them when I power-walk to Neil Diamond. 205 00:07:49,919 --> 00:07:52,812 Hey, Mom, is this divider a little too high? 206 00:07:52,854 --> 00:07:54,470 No. No, it's supposed to be that way. 207 00:07:54,513 --> 00:07:56,852 That way, if one twin wants to visit the other, 208 00:07:56,895 --> 00:08:00,212 he can just go, "Ah, doot, doot, doot. Hi!" 209 00:08:00,255 --> 00:08:02,084 - Aaaah! - Hey! 210 00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:05,572 Couple thoughts. 211 00:08:06,594 --> 00:08:08,465 - Pair of 7s. - Ace high. 212 00:08:08,507 --> 00:08:11,315 Everyone, I'd like you to meet Don Lemon and RuPaul, 213 00:08:11,358 --> 00:08:12,743 a pair of black queens. 214 00:08:13,187 --> 00:08:15,229 Mitchell, that's the third time you've wandered over there. 215 00:08:15,271 --> 00:08:16,419 What are you doing? 216 00:08:16,462 --> 00:08:18,504 - Nothing. - He's got something in his mouth. 217 00:08:18,546 --> 00:08:20,121 - Get him! - No. No, I don't. - Come here! 218 00:08:20,163 --> 00:08:22,630 - No, no, no! - Don't... Don't fight. Don't... 219 00:08:22,673 --> 00:08:23,693 He has beef jerky! 220 00:08:23,736 --> 00:08:24,816 That's the last of it. I swear. 221 00:08:24,877 --> 00:08:26,548 - He's lying. Check his pockets. - No, I... 222 00:08:27,011 --> 00:08:29,156 - Stop it, stop it, stop it! - It's a family pack! 223 00:08:29,247 --> 00:08:31,416 I hope the jerky was as delicious as the irony. 224 00:08:31,458 --> 00:08:33,330 - Give it! - No, stop it! Stop it... 225 00:08:33,373 --> 00:08:34,905 No! 226 00:08:34,947 --> 00:08:35,925 Great. 227 00:08:35,968 --> 00:08:37,627 We're sending beef smoke signals 228 00:08:37,670 --> 00:08:39,200 to a forest full of bears. 229 00:08:39,243 --> 00:08:40,987 I'm sorry! I should've shared! 230 00:08:41,030 --> 00:08:43,327 Meanwhile, there is a sack full of hiking snacks 231 00:08:43,370 --> 00:08:44,305 just up the road! 232 00:08:44,348 --> 00:08:45,283 Brie, prosciutto, 233 00:08:45,326 --> 00:08:47,878 not to mention a wonderful maple-walnut butter 234 00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:50,175 that Gloria recommended on her Pinterest board. 235 00:08:50,218 --> 00:08:51,154 That's it. I'm going out there. 236 00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:52,132 Jay, wait! 237 00:08:52,175 --> 00:08:54,727 If you see a bear, remember... 238 00:08:54,769 --> 00:08:56,300 blind it with the flash on your phone, 239 00:08:56,343 --> 00:08:58,385 then lie on your back in a submissive pose. 240 00:08:58,427 --> 00:09:00,512 I'm not doing that. If I come face-to-face with a bear, 241 00:09:00,554 --> 00:09:01,532 he better run! 242 00:09:06,765 --> 00:09:08,254 It's darker out there... 243 00:09:08,296 --> 00:09:09,785 Aaaaaaaah! 244 00:09:11,443 --> 00:09:13,231 Are you sure it was the best idea 245 00:09:13,273 --> 00:09:14,889 to attach these before moving them upstairs? 246 00:09:14,932 --> 00:09:18,122 Yeah, I eyeballed the space. It really should fit easily. 247 00:09:18,165 --> 00:09:19,082 Ow! 248 00:09:19,781 --> 00:09:22,036 Except Alex apparently has steered us into a jam. 249 00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:25,183 Oh, that must be the pizza guy. Coming, Carl! 250 00:09:25,226 --> 00:09:27,055 You know the pizza guy's name? 251 00:09:27,098 --> 00:09:28,246 No! 252 00:09:30,713 --> 00:09:32,500 - Hi. - Hey, Haley. 253 00:09:32,543 --> 00:09:34,882 Surprised to get an order from you before midnight. 254 00:09:34,925 --> 00:09:37,350 By the way, how'd you like that custom shrimp and potato pizza? 255 00:09:37,392 --> 00:09:40,412 I don't even know what you're talking about. 256 00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:41,815 Loved it. Love you. 257 00:09:41,858 --> 00:09:43,007 Gonna go get my wallet! 258 00:09:46,608 --> 00:09:47,728 Mom? 259 00:09:47,770 --> 00:09:48,539 Okay. 260 00:09:48,596 --> 00:09:50,962 Alex, run downstairs and get a screwdriver. 261 00:09:51,004 --> 00:09:53,003 This whole thing will fit easily once we take the cribs apart. 262 00:09:53,045 --> 00:09:53,939 We don't even know 263 00:09:53,982 --> 00:09:56,491 if this thing is gonna fit through the bedroom door. 264 00:09:56,534 --> 00:09:57,937 Of course it will. 265 00:09:57,980 --> 00:10:00,745 But if it makes you happy, I will measure again. 266 00:10:00,787 --> 00:10:02,149 Hmm. 267 00:10:02,191 --> 00:10:03,722 Hmm? 268 00:10:06,402 --> 00:10:07,381 See? 269 00:10:10,486 --> 00:10:12,144 You always record over my programs... 270 00:10:12,187 --> 00:10:13,464 Whoa! 271 00:10:13,506 --> 00:10:14,952 Gah! Aah! 272 00:10:14,994 --> 00:10:17,079 - Oh! - Ow! 273 00:10:19,504 --> 00:10:21,163 Okay, no, how about this? 274 00:10:21,206 --> 00:10:24,080 We all band together to form one big man 275 00:10:24,114 --> 00:10:24,863 to go get the food. 276 00:10:24,906 --> 00:10:26,183 - No! - How's that supposed to work? 277 00:10:26,225 --> 00:10:28,092 Okay, back to back, um, and... and then link arms. 278 00:10:28,177 --> 00:10:30,028 - Okay. - Turn around, give me your arm. 279 00:10:30,119 --> 00:10:31,778 See, look? Like this, all right? 280 00:10:31,821 --> 00:10:34,500 - Do we look big and scary? - Well, I think so. 281 00:10:34,543 --> 00:10:36,287 Let's move towards the door. 282 00:10:38,423 --> 00:10:40,158 Okay. 283 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:42,327 Nice and easy. 284 00:10:42,370 --> 00:10:47,219 We're just one big man out for a walk in the woods. 285 00:10:47,262 --> 00:10:48,453 Scatter! 286 00:10:48,495 --> 00:10:50,069 Aah! 287 00:10:51,515 --> 00:10:53,174 We made it. Oh! 288 00:10:53,217 --> 00:10:54,740 Wait! Where's Mitchell? 289 00:10:54,783 --> 00:10:55,761 He didn't make it! 290 00:10:55,804 --> 00:10:56,952 One of you two need to go get him! 291 00:10:56,994 --> 00:10:58,824 I'm better staying here as a bear decoy. 292 00:10:58,866 --> 00:11:00,100 I give off a natural musk. 293 00:11:00,143 --> 00:11:02,695 Birds land on me all the time. Squirrels eat out of my hand. 294 00:11:02,738 --> 00:11:04,651 Well, I can't go! Lily needs at least one living parent! 295 00:11:06,651 --> 00:11:07,629 Wait! 296 00:11:07,671 --> 00:11:08,905 How do we know it's not the bear? 297 00:11:08,948 --> 00:11:11,179 It's me! 298 00:11:11,330 --> 00:11:12,691 You just left me! 299 00:11:12,733 --> 00:11:14,440 Oh, you weren't out there that long. 300 00:11:14,482 --> 00:11:15,715 You didn't get the food? 301 00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:16,992 I almost was food! 302 00:11:17,035 --> 00:11:19,714 Okay, I-I wish I never even came on this stupid trip! 303 00:11:19,757 --> 00:11:20,735 Well, who forced you? 304 00:11:20,777 --> 00:11:21,857 Gloria! 305 00:11:26,886 --> 00:11:28,413 It's my delivery ankle. 306 00:11:28,456 --> 00:11:29,942 It's really bad, dudes. 307 00:11:29,984 --> 00:11:32,618 It was already weak from your paintball injury, Carl. 308 00:11:32,660 --> 00:11:34,147 I told you to get it checked out, 309 00:11:34,189 --> 00:11:35,379 but you and doctors. 310 00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:39,158 Okay, fine, I know him a little. 311 00:11:39,201 --> 00:11:40,857 When it rains, it pours, huh? 312 00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:42,047 - Margaret-Anne left me this morning. - Aw! 313 00:11:42,089 --> 00:11:44,764 Then my dad called me "Craig" on the phone again. 314 00:11:44,807 --> 00:11:46,294 That's the name of his new son. 315 00:11:46,336 --> 00:11:48,459 Oh, God. Carl, can we at least drive you home? 316 00:11:48,961 --> 00:11:49,776 Not now. 317 00:11:49,818 --> 00:11:52,622 I have 10 pizzas going to my enemies, the Sigmas. 318 00:11:52,664 --> 00:11:55,382 Those rich kids get their kicks taking advantage 319 00:11:55,425 --> 00:11:56,614 of our "30 Minutes or it's Free" policy... 320 00:11:56,656 --> 00:11:58,568 use every trick in the book to slow me down. 321 00:11:58,610 --> 00:12:00,606 Well, not tonight, Chad and Chip. 322 00:12:00,648 --> 00:12:01,753 Not to... Aaaah! 323 00:12:01,795 --> 00:12:03,707 The bone's got to be sticking out, right? 324 00:12:03,748 --> 00:12:06,254 No, it's not even swollen. 325 00:12:06,297 --> 00:12:08,251 Look, Carl, we've all had rough days. 326 00:12:08,293 --> 00:12:10,162 Why don't you let us finish this delivery for you? 327 00:12:10,205 --> 00:12:12,158 Okay, but we've only got, like, 10 minutes. 328 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:13,220 Let's go, then! Come here. 329 00:12:13,262 --> 00:12:14,494 - Okay. - Come on! 330 00:12:14,536 --> 00:12:17,042 It'll feel good to get something right today. 331 00:12:17,084 --> 00:12:19,505 Plus, I wouldn't mind sticking it to some preppy, white jerks. 332 00:12:19,547 --> 00:12:22,691 Hey! That life comes with its own problems! 333 00:12:27,619 --> 00:12:28,849 Don't be mad, Dad. 334 00:12:28,891 --> 00:12:30,335 Gloria was just worried about you. 335 00:12:30,377 --> 00:12:31,695 I don't want to talk about it. 336 00:12:31,737 --> 00:12:33,478 Let's just have a drink and be quiet. 337 00:12:36,366 --> 00:12:38,744 Lot of colors in that fire, huh? 338 00:12:38,787 --> 00:12:41,122 Red, green... 339 00:12:41,165 --> 00:12:42,779 - yellow, blue... - Geez. Okay. 340 00:12:42,821 --> 00:12:45,497 What is this yammering with you? Seriously! 341 00:12:45,540 --> 00:12:46,729 I don't know. 342 00:12:48,173 --> 00:12:51,146 I guess I just don't like being alone with my own thoughts. 343 00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:54,543 Maybe it's because I have a couple of grandkids on the way, 344 00:12:54,586 --> 00:12:56,200 but now, if... if things get too quiet, 345 00:12:56,242 --> 00:12:58,578 my mind goes to a dark place fast. 346 00:12:58,620 --> 00:13:01,084 I start to worry about the people that I love 347 00:13:01,126 --> 00:13:02,953 and all the bad things that could happen to them. 348 00:13:04,142 --> 00:13:07,157 I suppose talking... pushes those thoughts out 349 00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:08,984 and helps me feel okay. 350 00:13:09,026 --> 00:13:10,427 I get it. 351 00:13:10,470 --> 00:13:11,914 We can all spiral. 352 00:13:11,956 --> 00:13:13,655 But you can't talk your way out of it. 353 00:13:13,698 --> 00:13:16,246 You got to think your way out of it. 354 00:13:16,288 --> 00:13:18,326 You know, find a happy place. 355 00:13:18,369 --> 00:13:19,856 Try this. 356 00:13:19,898 --> 00:13:22,064 30 seconds, no talking. Go. 357 00:13:38,350 --> 00:13:40,006 - Buddy, where are you? - I'm back. Yep. 358 00:13:40,049 --> 00:13:42,087 You know, I think we can learn a lot from this guy, 359 00:13:42,129 --> 00:13:43,276 because it's not the... 360 00:13:43,319 --> 00:13:46,291 the bears out there that we're afraid of. 361 00:13:46,334 --> 00:13:47,481 It's the bears in our lives... 362 00:13:47,523 --> 00:13:49,902 the fear that keeps us up at night. 363 00:13:49,944 --> 00:13:52,790 And I think that's an interesting topic we can return to 364 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:55,211 once I change into my "Fireside Chat" look. 365 00:13:55,253 --> 00:13:56,527 Another wardrobe change? 366 00:13:56,570 --> 00:13:58,820 You're like a sultan's bride on her wedding day. 367 00:13:58,863 --> 00:14:00,732 Go ahead... make fun of me. 368 00:14:00,774 --> 00:14:02,175 I like my outfits. 369 00:14:02,218 --> 00:14:03,493 Why so many? 370 00:14:03,535 --> 00:14:04,894 Yeah, I guess when I was a kid, 371 00:14:04,936 --> 00:14:06,720 I realized I wasn't ever gonna fit in, 372 00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:08,588 so I decided to stand out. 373 00:14:08,631 --> 00:14:10,500 I embraced my flamboyance 374 00:14:10,542 --> 00:14:12,835 to let the world know their insults won't hurt me. 375 00:14:12,878 --> 00:14:15,171 Want to make a joke about me? Go ahead, 'cause I'm in on it. 376 00:14:16,531 --> 00:14:18,569 That's really beautiful, Cam. 377 00:14:18,611 --> 00:14:20,820 And you're not alone. 378 00:14:20,863 --> 00:14:24,133 Growing up, we were all insecure nerds in our own way. 379 00:14:26,086 --> 00:14:27,531 I was cool. 380 00:14:30,206 --> 00:14:32,330 What? I thought we were sharing. 381 00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:35,006 That's very brave, Cam. That's good stuff. 382 00:14:39,209 --> 00:14:41,121 Are you crazy? I shouldn't be the one driving! 383 00:14:41,163 --> 00:14:43,075 There is no time to argue! Just go! Come on! 384 00:14:45,307 --> 00:14:47,254 Thanks so much for making me part of your group. 385 00:14:47,296 --> 00:14:49,759 It's not every day you make four new best friends. 386 00:14:51,418 --> 00:14:52,860 Why are they going so slow? 387 00:14:52,902 --> 00:14:54,219 I can't get past them! 388 00:14:54,262 --> 00:14:56,003 This is one of Sigma's tactics. 389 00:14:56,046 --> 00:14:57,149 They track my location on the app 390 00:14:57,192 --> 00:14:58,976 and send pledges to try to slow me down. 391 00:14:59,018 --> 00:15:00,123 Ugh! What am I gonna do? 392 00:15:00,580 --> 00:15:01,694 I'll handle this. 393 00:15:01,736 --> 00:15:03,732 Carl, I'm taking your paintball guns! 394 00:15:04,286 --> 00:15:06,876 Move! Or I move you! 395 00:15:11,334 --> 00:15:12,652 I do still have my edge! 396 00:15:12,694 --> 00:15:13,628 Yes! 397 00:15:14,945 --> 00:15:16,729 Will you join my paintball team? 398 00:15:18,002 --> 00:15:18,921 What is that? 399 00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:20,763 Field of Minions. Classic Sigmas. 400 00:15:20,806 --> 00:15:22,929 Don't get distracted by the cuteness. We only have five minutes. 401 00:15:22,971 --> 00:15:24,246 Just go around them. 402 00:15:29,771 --> 00:15:31,130 Oh, my God, I did it! 403 00:15:31,173 --> 00:15:32,405 And you're all still in the car! 404 00:15:32,447 --> 00:15:34,019 Okay, now, we can't give them any reason to say 405 00:15:34,061 --> 00:15:35,122 that we didn't fill the order perfectly, 406 00:15:35,165 --> 00:15:36,736 so check the pizzas, make sure they didn't shift. 407 00:15:36,779 --> 00:15:38,818 Oh, Haley, I'm sure you're worrying about nothing... 408 00:15:39,262 --> 00:15:40,602 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 409 00:15:44,933 --> 00:15:46,674 Carl, do you have a pizza slicer? 410 00:15:46,717 --> 00:15:48,883 Only the commemorative one I got for 10 years of service. 411 00:15:48,926 --> 00:15:50,497 Give it to me. I have a vision. 412 00:15:51,339 --> 00:15:53,555 Shaq and Hendrix never got past their blind spots. 413 00:15:53,597 --> 00:15:55,509 Maybe they didn't want it enough. 414 00:15:55,551 --> 00:15:58,100 Turning 9 pizzas into 10 was a simple matter 415 00:15:58,134 --> 00:16:00,062 of removing one slice from each pie, 416 00:16:00,096 --> 00:16:01,709 then trimming off a V-shaped portion of pizza 417 00:16:01,751 --> 00:16:03,323 from each of the remaining slices, 418 00:16:03,365 --> 00:16:05,234 turning them from 36-degree angles to 40-degree angles, 419 00:16:05,277 --> 00:16:06,933 then putting together the 40-degree angles 420 00:16:06,976 --> 00:16:08,802 into nine slightly smaller pies. 421 00:16:08,844 --> 00:16:11,180 After that, one had only to repurpose 422 00:16:11,223 --> 00:16:13,133 the nine previously removed slices 423 00:16:13,176 --> 00:16:14,110 into a 10th pie. 424 00:16:15,045 --> 00:16:16,914 And... 10! 425 00:16:16,956 --> 00:16:18,102 It worked! 426 00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:19,164 It really did. 427 00:16:19,207 --> 00:16:20,948 I do have a visual brain. 428 00:16:20,991 --> 00:16:21,798 That was your thing? 429 00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:24,048 I do not miss having white-people problems. 430 00:16:25,261 --> 00:16:26,866 We're here! I did it! 431 00:16:26,900 --> 00:16:29,272 We only have a minute to get the pizzas inside. Let's go! 432 00:16:29,315 --> 00:16:31,523 Oh, wait, wait, wait! Uh, the frat has a video doorbell. 433 00:16:31,566 --> 00:16:33,732 If they see it's a delivery, they try to run out the clock. 434 00:16:33,774 --> 00:16:35,770 I'll handle this. 435 00:16:37,427 --> 00:16:38,743 Stay on that side. 436 00:16:40,315 --> 00:16:41,419 Yeah? 437 00:16:41,461 --> 00:16:43,171 Hi. Um... 438 00:16:43,543 --> 00:16:46,303 I go to U of A, and I'm super drunk. 439 00:16:46,345 --> 00:16:49,234 Is there a place where I can sober up for the night? 440 00:16:51,018 --> 00:16:53,990 At least my looks can still get me into a frat house. 441 00:16:54,033 --> 00:16:55,052 Okay, guys, go, go! 442 00:16:56,029 --> 00:16:58,450 10 pizzas on time. 443 00:16:58,492 --> 00:16:59,342 Pay up! 444 00:16:59,384 --> 00:17:00,743 You guys with Carl? 445 00:17:00,786 --> 00:17:02,781 We are Carl. 446 00:17:05,033 --> 00:17:06,817 Come on, hurry up! A bet's a bet! 447 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:09,110 I told you I could stand on one leg longer than you! 448 00:17:09,152 --> 00:17:11,488 You're the only one whose balance gets better 449 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,272 after drinking a jug of whiskey. 450 00:17:13,314 --> 00:17:15,650 All right. My follower is gonna love this! 451 00:17:15,693 --> 00:17:16,712 Everybody say "Cheese!" 452 00:17:16,755 --> 00:17:17,901 - Cheese. - Yes. 453 00:17:17,943 --> 00:17:19,642 Okay, now, that is how you build a brand. 454 00:17:19,685 --> 00:17:22,233 Well, I guess we should kill the rest of this whiskey. 455 00:17:22,276 --> 00:17:23,549 But then we'll have nothing to serve the murderers 456 00:17:23,592 --> 00:17:24,611 when they arrive. 457 00:17:24,654 --> 00:17:26,140 You know, you joke, 458 00:17:26,183 --> 00:17:28,943 but you have a certain paranoia about you. 459 00:17:28,986 --> 00:17:30,047 What... What's behind that? 460 00:17:30,090 --> 00:17:31,024 Well... 461 00:17:31,067 --> 00:17:33,318 Ooh! Are we about to hear about Mitchell's bear? 462 00:17:33,360 --> 00:17:35,569 Uh, okay. It... It's, um... 463 00:17:35,611 --> 00:17:37,438 I've never told anyone this, but, uh, 464 00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:39,901 a fortune teller once predicted 465 00:17:39,944 --> 00:17:42,237 that I would not live to see my 46th winter. 466 00:17:42,279 --> 00:17:45,082 Was that that kook that used to live next door to us? 467 00:17:45,124 --> 00:17:45,931 She's nuts. 468 00:17:45,974 --> 00:17:48,777 She told your mother she was gonna win a Tony one day. 469 00:17:48,820 --> 00:17:51,155 But she was right about a lot of other things. 470 00:17:51,198 --> 00:17:53,619 She said that I'd become a lawyer. 471 00:17:53,661 --> 00:17:56,082 She said that I would marry a clown one day. 472 00:17:56,124 --> 00:17:57,951 Laughed a long time about that one. 473 00:17:57,993 --> 00:17:58,843 Why? 474 00:17:58,885 --> 00:18:00,966 Anyway, I-I guess my "bear" 475 00:18:01,008 --> 00:18:02,325 is the fear of dying young. 476 00:18:02,367 --> 00:18:04,789 Uh, I mean, if that fortune teller's right, 477 00:18:04,830 --> 00:18:06,954 I only have three more years to live. 478 00:18:06,997 --> 00:18:08,611 Well, y-you know what? The way I see it, 479 00:18:08,653 --> 00:18:10,649 this little curse is actually a gift... 480 00:18:10,691 --> 00:18:13,495 a reason to live life to the fullest. 481 00:18:13,537 --> 00:18:15,194 And have no regrets. 482 00:18:15,236 --> 00:18:18,676 Okay, so we're all just accepting this 46-year thing as true? 483 00:18:18,719 --> 00:18:20,248 We've made our peace with it. 484 00:18:20,290 --> 00:18:21,394 And so should you. 485 00:18:21,436 --> 00:18:24,155 Why not just live your limited days 486 00:18:24,197 --> 00:18:26,109 with leaving nothing unsaid? 487 00:18:26,151 --> 00:18:28,657 Tell the people who matter the most how you feel. 488 00:18:28,700 --> 00:18:31,264 I tell you and Lily I love you every single day. 489 00:18:31,354 --> 00:18:33,413 True. What about Phil? 490 00:18:33,456 --> 00:18:36,258 He did text me with a "Love ya" this morning. 491 00:18:36,301 --> 00:18:37,235 Close enough. 492 00:18:37,278 --> 00:18:38,680 And your dad? 493 00:18:42,926 --> 00:18:43,988 Seriously? 494 00:18:44,031 --> 00:18:45,857 I just have a hard time saying that word to him. 495 00:18:45,900 --> 00:18:47,471 Which is fine for the both of us. 496 00:18:47,514 --> 00:18:48,618 Okay, well, it sounds like 497 00:18:48,660 --> 00:18:50,515 you might be uncomfortable with that word, too. 498 00:18:50,581 --> 00:18:52,864 No! I don't have a problem with it. I use it all the time. 499 00:18:52,907 --> 00:18:54,182 I'm always saying I love things. I... 500 00:18:54,224 --> 00:18:57,197 I love the feel of toasty socks out of the microwave. 501 00:18:57,239 --> 00:19:00,043 I love the far-off sound of a train whistle. 502 00:19:00,085 --> 00:19:02,888 You know, "Ooh! What adventure have they gotten off to?" 503 00:19:02,930 --> 00:19:04,974 I l... I love watching a baby stretch. 504 00:19:05,016 --> 00:19:08,244 Those are all good things in your life, Jay, but... 505 00:19:08,286 --> 00:19:09,603 what's your "bear"? 506 00:19:09,645 --> 00:19:10,367 I don't have one. 507 00:19:10,410 --> 00:19:11,938 Oh, come on! We all told you ours. 508 00:19:11,981 --> 00:19:13,977 Now, when you get to my age, 509 00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:16,822 there are less things that you're afraid of. 510 00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:18,606 Except maybe... 511 00:19:18,649 --> 00:19:20,220 being a burden to your family. 512 00:19:20,858 --> 00:19:22,132 Which is starting already, 513 00:19:22,174 --> 00:19:24,935 because Gloria forced you guys to babysit me, 514 00:19:24,977 --> 00:19:27,950 which is why I wanted to spend the night here 515 00:19:27,993 --> 00:19:32,027 so I could prove I'm not some... frail old man. 516 00:19:32,877 --> 00:19:34,150 But, if I'm being honest, 517 00:19:34,193 --> 00:19:37,761 that hike gets tougher for me every year. 518 00:19:37,803 --> 00:19:41,116 And I was relieved that I didn't have to do it alone. 519 00:19:41,158 --> 00:19:42,389 Oh, Dad. 520 00:19:42,432 --> 00:19:43,919 You could never be a burden. 521 00:19:43,962 --> 00:19:46,425 Yeah, you're the one who's always taking care of all of us. 522 00:19:46,468 --> 00:19:49,270 We'd love the chance to return the favor. 523 00:19:50,714 --> 00:19:52,370 All right. It's getting late. 524 00:19:52,413 --> 00:19:54,452 This mountain pimp outfit's making me sweat. 525 00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:55,640 Let's... Let's get some rest. 526 00:19:56,811 --> 00:19:58,231 - Good night. - Good night. 527 00:19:58,274 --> 00:19:59,972 I'll take the sofa. 528 00:20:00,015 --> 00:20:01,205 Sure you're gonna be okay out here? 529 00:20:01,247 --> 00:20:02,776 - Yeah, I'll be fine. - Okay. 530 00:20:04,687 --> 00:20:06,810 Do... Do you want me to grab you an extra blanket or something? 531 00:20:06,853 --> 00:20:09,347 No, no. I'll get something if I need it. 532 00:20:09,444 --> 00:20:11,992 Okay. Well... 533 00:20:12,951 --> 00:20:14,380 Good night. 534 00:20:19,283 --> 00:20:20,643 I know. 535 00:20:37,501 --> 00:20:39,301 All right, Dad. We're ready to go. 536 00:20:39,336 --> 00:20:40,178 Yeah, Jay. 537 00:20:40,214 --> 00:20:42,790 I'm sorry you didn't see a bald eagle this time around. 538 00:20:42,833 --> 00:20:44,443 Y-Yeah. It's too bad. 539 00:20:44,487 --> 00:20:46,881 I guess we'll all have to come back here again next year. 540 00:20:46,924 --> 00:20:48,143 Yeah. 541 00:20:48,186 --> 00:20:49,927 I don't know about you guys, but I slept great. 542 00:20:49,971 --> 00:20:52,930 That cot was so soft. I'm not always a sound sleeper. 543 00:20:52,974 --> 00:20:55,890 Been meaning to try that melatonin. I hear it's a real game-changer. 544 00:20:55,933 --> 00:20:57,674 And you can get it anywhere nowadays. 545 00:20:57,718 --> 00:20:59,023 Has it always been over-the-counter? 546 00:20:59,067 --> 00:21:00,895 Kind of a funny phrase, isn't it... "over-the-counter"? 547 00:21:04,222 --> 00:21:06,752 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com