1 00:00:23,269 --> 00:00:25,370 No mail. Again. 2 00:00:26,388 --> 00:00:28,284 Hey, Portal, call Dad. 3 00:00:38,216 --> 00:00:40,621 George, please! 4 00:00:40,725 --> 00:00:42,791 Why are they still crying? 5 00:00:42,860 --> 00:00:44,554 Do you think they know they're chubby? 6 00:00:45,273 --> 00:00:47,705 It took us a while, but we finally named our babies. 7 00:00:47,809 --> 00:00:48,816 This is Poppy, 8 00:00:48,826 --> 00:00:50,518 because that's my favorite flower. 9 00:00:50,588 --> 00:00:51,603 And this is George, 10 00:00:51,673 --> 00:00:53,637 because he came out looking curious. 11 00:00:53,707 --> 00:00:55,229 You know, like Boy George. 12 00:00:56,824 --> 00:00:59,491 Oh, hey, Portal, answer. 13 00:00:59,603 --> 00:01:00,721 Hi, Alex! 14 00:01:00,790 --> 00:01:02,917 How's my little ice queen? 15 00:01:02,987 --> 00:01:04,273 Didn't love being called that in high school, 16 00:01:04,377 --> 00:01:05,390 don't love it now. 17 00:01:05,394 --> 00:01:07,255 Hey, honey. Um, people keep asking... 18 00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:08,679 Tell me again what you're doing? 19 00:01:08,749 --> 00:01:09,797 Detecting the presence of neutrinos 20 00:01:09,900 --> 00:01:11,254 beneath the South Pole. 21 00:01:11,325 --> 00:01:13,254 Yeah, you... you can stop. I'm just gonna keep telling them 22 00:01:13,359 --> 00:01:15,729 you're searching for the snow monster. 23 00:01:15,833 --> 00:01:17,016 Seriously, Alex? 24 00:01:17,086 --> 00:01:18,779 You can't come downstairs to talk to us? 25 00:01:18,883 --> 00:01:20,202 I've been gone for a month. 26 00:01:20,272 --> 00:01:22,744 Wait. So, that's my hair in the drain? 27 00:01:22,814 --> 00:01:24,643 Honey, is everything okay? 28 00:01:24,746 --> 00:01:26,372 You look a little sad. 29 00:01:26,441 --> 00:01:27,727 Oh, no, no. 30 00:01:27,797 --> 00:01:30,167 I was sad earlier, and my face froze that way. 31 00:01:30,236 --> 00:01:32,405 But no regrets about turning down 32 00:01:32,475 --> 00:01:34,370 that cushy tech job in L.A. 33 00:01:35,491 --> 00:01:37,522 I mean, yeah, I miss Bill 34 00:01:37,592 --> 00:01:41,216 and the safety of other women around, 35 00:01:41,286 --> 00:01:42,505 but Grandpa was right. 36 00:01:42,575 --> 00:01:45,113 This is the time of life to have an adventure. 37 00:01:46,026 --> 00:01:47,317 Is this a bad time? 38 00:01:47,352 --> 00:01:49,917 Oh, no. No, this is our new normal. 39 00:01:49,952 --> 00:01:51,486 - Yeah. - We never sleep. 40 00:01:51,556 --> 00:01:53,385 Well, I know all about sleep deprivation. 41 00:01:53,455 --> 00:01:54,909 - Uh-huh. - The sun never sets here, 42 00:01:54,979 --> 00:01:56,435 - so I've been up for days. - Yeah, that's fun. 43 00:01:56,505 --> 00:01:57,858 - Really nice, honey. - I dream awake now. 44 00:01:57,961 --> 00:02:00,469 Hang on a second. Haley. 45 00:02:00,809 --> 00:02:03,441 Haley, I know that you are committed to breastfeeding 46 00:02:03,525 --> 00:02:04,676 and the book, 47 00:02:04,746 --> 00:02:06,980 but I think it's time that you considered formula. 48 00:02:07,084 --> 00:02:08,743 It will help the babies sleep, 49 00:02:08,813 --> 00:02:11,013 and the pediatrician said it is perfectly healthy. 50 00:02:11,116 --> 00:02:13,013 I'm living proof. I was a formula baby... 51 00:02:13,083 --> 00:02:14,877 - Had a full set of teeth at six months. - Yeah. 52 00:02:14,980 --> 00:02:16,063 But the book says... 53 00:02:16,167 --> 00:02:17,318 Uch, the book. 54 00:02:17,422 --> 00:02:19,248 What do you have against my book? 55 00:02:19,354 --> 00:02:21,893 It is called "Your Parents Did Everything Wrong." 56 00:02:21,963 --> 00:02:24,740 Dr. Goode is a celebrated pediatric life coach. 57 00:02:24,844 --> 00:02:26,604 And can you tone down the negativity? 58 00:02:26,674 --> 00:02:29,281 Chapter six says that it can cause an allergy to peanuts. 59 00:02:29,386 --> 00:02:30,537 Uh-huh. 60 00:02:30,606 --> 00:02:32,027 Oh, man, no kid should grow up without Snoopy. 61 00:02:32,096 --> 00:02:34,960 Sounds like a crazy morning. 62 00:02:34,995 --> 00:02:35,820 I miss those. 63 00:02:35,855 --> 00:02:38,195 My research partner, Yngvar, doesn't speak English. 64 00:02:39,486 --> 00:02:40,907 Is me who did that? 65 00:02:41,011 --> 00:02:42,704 Hmm. 66 00:02:42,774 --> 00:02:45,517 Except for what he learned from reruns of "Family Matters." 67 00:02:46,265 --> 00:02:48,330 - Guys! - So that can be a little annoying 68 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:49,788 having a research partner not speak your language, 69 00:02:49,858 --> 00:02:51,347 but I could also try and learn his language, 70 00:02:51,416 --> 00:02:52,573 which I have. 71 00:02:55,144 --> 00:02:57,481 Wake them, and I kill you. 72 00:02:57,551 --> 00:02:58,871 Uh-oh. 73 00:02:58,974 --> 00:03:00,430 Ah... Ah... 74 00:03:00,534 --> 00:03:01,685 Ah... 75 00:03:01,788 --> 00:03:04,158 Ah... 76 00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:25,159 - Ruff! - More Spanish. 77 00:03:25,229 --> 00:03:26,347 R-R-R-Ruff! 78 00:03:26,416 --> 00:03:27,837 If this is role-playing, 79 00:03:27,907 --> 00:03:30,175 I'd like to play the part of disgusted son. 80 00:03:30,245 --> 00:03:32,887 I'm making a promo video for my dog-bed company. 81 00:03:32,957 --> 00:03:34,853 And Stella's the star, of course. 82 00:03:34,957 --> 00:03:36,819 Today we're recording her voice. 83 00:03:36,889 --> 00:03:39,022 And I am doing the Spanish version. 84 00:03:39,125 --> 00:03:41,361 - Who's directing it? - I don't know. Me, I guess. 85 00:03:41,464 --> 00:03:43,055 Wow, that's a punch in the gut. 86 00:03:43,125 --> 00:03:44,885 Why, Manny? Do you want to direct it? 87 00:03:44,989 --> 00:03:46,173 Why not? 88 00:03:46,276 --> 00:03:48,411 Some of our best artists started out making commercials. 89 00:03:48,514 --> 00:03:51,461 Am I better than Spike Jonze or Guillermo del Toro? 90 00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:52,682 Nope. 91 00:03:52,785 --> 00:03:54,850 Listen, normally I would just 92 00:03:54,954 --> 00:03:57,393 cook up some fake reason why you couldn't direct it, 93 00:03:57,497 --> 00:03:59,731 but in this case, I have a real excuse. 94 00:03:59,835 --> 00:04:01,562 Your old girlfriend, Sherry, 95 00:04:01,665 --> 00:04:03,119 is the voice of Stella. 96 00:04:03,224 --> 00:04:04,849 Jay, how could you? 97 00:04:04,952 --> 00:04:08,068 After she broke his heart when she got repulsed 98 00:04:08,172 --> 00:04:10,102 by the idea of getting married to him? 99 00:04:10,205 --> 00:04:12,415 More overwhelmed than repulsed, as I remember it. 100 00:04:12,489 --> 00:04:14,080 She's already on our website 101 00:04:14,183 --> 00:04:15,266 as Stella's voice. 102 00:04:15,370 --> 00:04:16,419 Changing that now 103 00:04:16,522 --> 00:04:18,215 could be jarring for our fans. 104 00:04:18,319 --> 00:04:20,757 Like when they made my GPS lady British. 105 00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:21,943 I'd rather be lost 106 00:04:22,046 --> 00:04:23,739 than talked down to by a snob! 107 00:04:23,809 --> 00:04:24,857 Please, Jay. 108 00:04:24,927 --> 00:04:27,027 I need to prove to myself that I'm over her, 109 00:04:27,097 --> 00:04:28,775 that I can rise above it and be professional. 110 00:04:28,871 --> 00:04:30,823 Fine, but if your emotions 111 00:04:30,927 --> 00:04:32,383 get in the way of this production, 112 00:04:32,453 --> 00:04:35,365 you will never work in dog-bed commercials again. 113 00:04:35,469 --> 00:04:36,483 Don't worry. 114 00:04:36,587 --> 00:04:37,635 My only passion 115 00:04:37,638 --> 00:04:39,873 is helping you realize your creative vision. 116 00:04:39,943 --> 00:04:42,652 By day's end, Sherry will be mine. 117 00:04:45,907 --> 00:04:47,600 Oh, no, which icon's birthday 118 00:04:47,705 --> 00:04:49,227 are we celebrating today? 119 00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:50,414 Uh, Lauren Bacall's. 120 00:04:50,517 --> 00:04:51,600 We're dropping tulips by her grave later, 121 00:04:51,704 --> 00:04:52,786 but that's not what this is. 122 00:04:52,890 --> 00:04:54,651 No, I'm having some at-risk students over. 123 00:04:54,754 --> 00:04:55,802 - Why, you ask? - I'm good. 124 00:04:55,906 --> 00:04:57,768 Well, 'cause I want to bond with these kids. 125 00:04:57,872 --> 00:04:59,396 I want them to know that even though 126 00:04:59,499 --> 00:05:01,281 the rest of the world's given up on them, I haven't. 127 00:05:01,308 --> 00:05:03,937 I don't want to just be their Vice Principal. 128 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:06,072 I want to be their nice principal. 129 00:05:07,125 --> 00:05:09,733 - I can't believe you let this happen. - I didn't know there'd be wordplay. 130 00:05:09,836 --> 00:05:12,682 Cam asked me to speak to his students as an Assistant DA, 131 00:05:12,785 --> 00:05:15,121 give them the perspective of law enforcement. 132 00:05:15,225 --> 00:05:17,364 Truth is, I have been looking for an opportunity 133 00:05:17,368 --> 00:05:18,619 to show off my new badge. 134 00:05:18,722 --> 00:05:20,279 Even the most hardened criminals 135 00:05:20,384 --> 00:05:22,822 shudder when they get a gander at... Ohh! 136 00:05:22,926 --> 00:05:24,245 Please don't be scratched! 137 00:05:28,111 --> 00:05:29,702 I don't care what these kids did. 138 00:05:29,806 --> 00:05:30,956 - This is cruel. - I know. 139 00:05:31,060 --> 00:05:33,566 A vice principal that plays rock 'n' roll. 140 00:05:33,670 --> 00:05:35,803 Am I a little different? Yes, I am. 141 00:05:35,906 --> 00:05:37,701 I'm not like the other adults in your life 142 00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:39,532 that are just waiting for you to mess up 143 00:05:39,636 --> 00:05:40,724 so they can point the finger at you. 144 00:05:40,848 --> 00:05:42,778 I don't want to finger a bunch of kids. 145 00:05:42,881 --> 00:05:44,710 That's not how I get my jollies. 146 00:05:44,813 --> 00:05:45,860 Cam. Cam. 147 00:05:45,864 --> 00:05:46,945 I know what it's like. 148 00:05:46,949 --> 00:05:48,370 I had issues in school, 149 00:05:48,474 --> 00:05:50,166 and I was fingered left and right. 150 00:05:50,270 --> 00:05:52,810 And let me tell you, it did not feel good. 151 00:05:52,913 --> 00:05:54,437 Oh, Mitchell, should we be recording this? 152 00:05:54,541 --> 00:05:56,438 Oh, yes, no one's gonna believe me. 153 00:05:56,541 --> 00:05:58,233 How long is this gonna take, Mr. Tucker? 154 00:05:58,337 --> 00:06:00,775 Oh, now, Mr. Tucker's the cool vice principal at school. 155 00:06:00,879 --> 00:06:02,605 Here at my house 156 00:06:02,709 --> 00:06:03,757 call me Cam. 157 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:04,844 Okay? 158 00:06:04,848 --> 00:06:05,997 And this is Mitchell. 159 00:06:06,101 --> 00:06:08,336 He's an Assistant District Attorney, 160 00:06:08,441 --> 00:06:10,166 and he is our guest speaker. 161 00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:11,756 He's so white he's see-through. 162 00:06:12,799 --> 00:06:14,540 Thank you. 163 00:06:14,643 --> 00:06:16,911 We live in a society bound by laws. 164 00:06:17,015 --> 00:06:18,097 Okay? 165 00:06:18,201 --> 00:06:21,488 They're all that stand between order and chaos. 166 00:06:21,591 --> 00:06:24,301 And those who violate those laws 167 00:06:24,404 --> 00:06:27,758 wind up staring at the business end of... 168 00:06:28,519 --> 00:06:29,558 It's gone! 169 00:06:29,652 --> 00:06:31,006 What, the spotlight on you? 170 00:06:31,109 --> 00:06:32,735 No, my porcelain clown figurine. 171 00:06:32,838 --> 00:06:34,090 It's supposed to be on this table. 172 00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:35,955 It's always on this table. 173 00:06:37,082 --> 00:06:39,860 One of you stole it! 174 00:06:41,217 --> 00:06:43,148 And on Lauren Bacall's birthday? 175 00:06:43,251 --> 00:06:44,436 Cam. Cam. R-Relax. 176 00:06:44,540 --> 00:06:46,808 Uh, isn't the whole point of today not to prejudge them? 177 00:06:46,912 --> 00:06:48,503 Oh, please, Mitchell. They're trash. 178 00:06:48,607 --> 00:06:50,028 I know it. They know it. 179 00:06:50,131 --> 00:06:52,368 Everybody knows it. 180 00:06:58,740 --> 00:06:59,959 Please don't sing that song. 181 00:07:00,028 --> 00:07:02,602 Sorry, it's better than "Pop Goes the Appraisal." 182 00:07:02,706 --> 00:07:05,008 - Aw. Shh. - Mom, what are you doing? 183 00:07:05,112 --> 00:07:06,873 Stop it. The book says you're not supposed to 184 00:07:06,977 --> 00:07:08,873 make eye contact during nap time. 185 00:07:08,943 --> 00:07:11,855 They're babies, not Johnny Depp on a film set. 186 00:07:23,450 --> 00:07:24,802 H-o-ow's it going? 187 00:07:24,907 --> 00:07:26,158 Still crying. 188 00:07:26,262 --> 00:07:28,225 You didn't make eye contact, did you? 189 00:07:28,295 --> 00:07:30,328 That can't be a thing, Phil. 190 00:07:30,431 --> 00:07:32,022 And I'm getting a little sick 191 00:07:32,091 --> 00:07:34,463 of Haley insinuating that we don't know how to raise kids. 192 00:07:34,566 --> 00:07:35,987 She can't be saying that about me. 193 00:07:36,092 --> 00:07:39,002 I spent half my 30s in blanket forts with those kids. 194 00:07:39,037 --> 00:07:42,021 You know what? You need to get her to go to sleep 195 00:07:42,124 --> 00:07:45,579 so I can put those babies down the right way. Our way. 196 00:07:45,683 --> 00:07:47,851 She's crazed right now. How am I supposed to get her to sleep? 197 00:07:47,921 --> 00:07:49,579 I don't know. How did you do it when she was a kid? 198 00:07:55,294 --> 00:07:56,690 Dad, isn't the drugstore that way? 199 00:07:56,740 --> 00:07:58,569 It is, but there's construction, 200 00:07:58,672 --> 00:08:01,143 so I got to... got to go around. 201 00:08:01,606 --> 00:08:02,839 Is it warm in here? 202 00:08:02,942 --> 00:08:04,127 I feel fine. 203 00:08:04,230 --> 00:08:06,194 You know, uh, I just discovered this new station 204 00:08:06,297 --> 00:08:07,685 called "Winds of the World." 205 00:08:07,755 --> 00:08:09,415 Ooh, this is... this is a good one. 206 00:08:09,518 --> 00:08:10,533 If you close your eyes, 207 00:08:10,603 --> 00:08:12,160 it feels like you're right there in, um... 208 00:08:12,229 --> 00:08:13,922 "Open Prairie." 209 00:08:13,991 --> 00:08:15,549 Try it. You should get some rest back there. 210 00:08:15,652 --> 00:08:16,905 I'm not sleepy. 211 00:08:17,008 --> 00:08:18,396 Well, you don't have to sleep. 212 00:08:18,500 --> 00:08:21,073 Just, uh... Just rest your eyes. 213 00:08:21,109 --> 00:08:22,259 Uch. I don't wanna. 214 00:08:22,364 --> 00:08:24,565 You are just grumpy 'cause you're overtired. 215 00:08:24,668 --> 00:08:26,564 Stop saying I'm tired! 216 00:08:26,669 --> 00:08:28,259 Okay. 217 00:08:28,363 --> 00:08:29,411 I know. 218 00:08:29,515 --> 00:08:30,598 Let's make a list 219 00:08:30,701 --> 00:08:32,395 of all the things we want to do tomorrow. 220 00:08:32,498 --> 00:08:35,343 I am, uh... I'm gonna have some waffles, 221 00:08:35,447 --> 00:08:37,037 uh, go outside, 222 00:08:37,141 --> 00:08:40,088 uh, make a list of all my friends' names. 223 00:08:40,191 --> 00:08:45,849 There's, uh, the mailman... 224 00:08:45,953 --> 00:08:50,460 the lady with the ice cream... house... 225 00:08:56,603 --> 00:08:59,677 Cuando te acuestas en una cama de perro por Stella, 226 00:08:59,745 --> 00:09:03,685 sabes que eres amado. 227 00:09:05,122 --> 00:09:07,526 It's perfect, honey. We got it. 228 00:09:07,594 --> 00:09:08,795 She's never gonna get there. 229 00:09:08,863 --> 00:09:10,565 I'll ask one of the nannies in the park to do it 230 00:09:10,667 --> 00:09:12,803 next time I take Joe. They love me. 231 00:09:12,871 --> 00:09:15,709 I can never get out of there without a bag of tamales. 232 00:09:15,777 --> 00:09:17,011 Well, there's our star! 233 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:19,450 Hey, Jay. Love the script, so fun! 234 00:09:19,518 --> 00:09:20,585 Manny. 235 00:09:20,654 --> 00:09:22,355 I didn't know you'd be here. 236 00:09:22,458 --> 00:09:23,491 I'm your director. 237 00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:24,860 No reason it has to be awkward. 238 00:09:24,962 --> 00:09:26,430 As long as you do everything I say 239 00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:27,666 between "action" and "cut." 240 00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:28,801 Speaking of which, 241 00:09:28,870 --> 00:09:30,237 I've been getting quite a bit of action. 242 00:09:30,307 --> 00:09:32,817 And cut. Look, I'm renting this joint by the hour. 243 00:09:32,852 --> 00:09:34,078 Can we just do this? 244 00:09:35,493 --> 00:09:36,493 Hi, Gloria. 245 00:09:36,495 --> 00:09:38,296 Hi, Sherry. Break your legs. 246 00:09:40,055 --> 00:09:41,756 Okay, Sherry, whenever you're ready. 247 00:09:41,825 --> 00:09:46,231 Boy, am I tired after a day of playing fetch, digging, 248 00:09:46,334 --> 00:09:48,169 and sniffing other dogs at the park. 249 00:09:48,237 --> 00:09:51,309 If only there were an American-made bed... 250 00:09:51,378 --> 00:09:53,212 Ugh, I'm so sorry. That was terrible. 251 00:09:53,281 --> 00:09:54,915 Manny, can we start over? 252 00:09:55,419 --> 00:09:57,253 I never stopped. Oh. 253 00:09:57,356 --> 00:09:59,123 You mean the commercial. Yes. 254 00:09:59,192 --> 00:10:02,096 Although, that was exquisite. 255 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,570 I believed that you're a dog. 256 00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:07,206 It's Gloria. 257 00:10:07,309 --> 00:10:09,645 And you, you're embarrassing yourself. 258 00:10:09,713 --> 00:10:12,082 - What are you talking about? - You're trying to win her back. 259 00:10:12,151 --> 00:10:14,020 The unbuttoned shirt, the cologne, 260 00:10:14,122 --> 00:10:16,625 the praising of her pedestrian performance. 261 00:10:16,727 --> 00:10:18,762 - It's not gonna work, Manny. - Why not? 262 00:10:18,781 --> 00:10:20,650 Because if you want someone to like you, 263 00:10:20,718 --> 00:10:22,620 you need to make them want your approval. 264 00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:25,225 Mom, that's a tired, old way of thinking that doesn't work. 265 00:10:25,328 --> 00:10:26,862 Here you go. 266 00:10:26,931 --> 00:10:28,966 What do you think is wrong with this? 267 00:10:29,035 --> 00:10:31,371 Damn it, the lemon! I'm sorry, baby. 268 00:10:33,444 --> 00:10:35,245 L-Let's start from the top. 269 00:10:35,315 --> 00:10:37,115 And this time, not so slow. 270 00:10:37,217 --> 00:10:40,155 Stronger. Assert yourself, Manuel. 271 00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:42,493 And I couldn't understand a word you were saying. 272 00:10:42,562 --> 00:10:44,497 Try to get the marbles out of your mouth. 273 00:10:45,149 --> 00:10:46,183 Oh, sorry. 274 00:10:46,285 --> 00:10:48,655 Yeah, whatever you need. 275 00:10:48,757 --> 00:10:51,494 Wow, maybe this could work. 276 00:10:53,065 --> 00:10:54,867 While you're up, my shoulders are a little tight. 277 00:10:54,969 --> 00:10:56,203 You mind getting in there? 278 00:10:56,238 --> 00:10:59,276 I don't think you want my hands that close to your neck. 279 00:11:00,581 --> 00:11:03,418 I invite you into my home, 280 00:11:03,487 --> 00:11:05,589 and this is how you repay me? 281 00:11:06,359 --> 00:11:07,926 Oh, I know what you were thinking. 282 00:11:08,028 --> 00:11:10,531 "He'll never miss it. He lives like a king." 283 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:12,602 We didn't take your stupid clown! 284 00:11:12,671 --> 00:11:15,341 Interesting you know it's a clown, Suzie! 285 00:11:15,443 --> 00:11:18,280 You said it three times, Cameron. 286 00:11:18,383 --> 00:11:19,683 It's Vice Principal Tucker! 287 00:11:19,752 --> 00:11:21,987 Show some respect. I'm not your mom's pimp. 288 00:11:22,089 --> 00:11:23,557 Oh. Okay, Cam. 289 00:11:24,676 --> 00:11:25,976 Cam, I-I know you like your tchotchkes, 290 00:11:26,031 --> 00:11:27,732 but aren't these kids here so you can bond? 291 00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:29,936 Um... 292 00:11:30,439 --> 00:11:32,575 Hey, Alex. Everything okay? 293 00:11:32,644 --> 00:11:35,046 Yeah, yeah. I-I'm probably overreacting. 294 00:11:35,115 --> 00:11:37,017 It's just I tried to make friends 295 00:11:37,085 --> 00:11:39,689 with one of the scientists, but there's a language gap. 296 00:11:39,791 --> 00:11:41,826 He misunderstood and kissed me. 297 00:11:41,895 --> 00:11:43,830 So it's a little awkward now. 298 00:11:45,235 --> 00:11:46,670 Uh-huh, that sounds fun. 299 00:11:46,738 --> 00:11:48,272 - What? It's not. - Oh. 300 00:11:48,342 --> 00:11:50,076 I kind of want to come home, 301 00:11:50,145 --> 00:11:52,147 but Grandpa was so excited about me doing this, 302 00:11:52,249 --> 00:11:54,352 and I don't want to disappoint him. 303 00:11:55,004 --> 00:11:57,139 Hey, you've disappointed him a lot. 304 00:11:57,242 --> 00:11:58,275 What was that like? 305 00:11:58,345 --> 00:12:00,547 Ohh, Alex, I struggled with this for years, 306 00:12:00,616 --> 00:12:01,949 but I-I finally learned 307 00:12:02,018 --> 00:12:04,187 that the most important thing is... 308 00:12:04,256 --> 00:12:06,692 Hey, Alex! Say "Hi" to Santa Claus. 309 00:12:06,794 --> 00:12:08,429 - Bye! - I'm at the South Po... 310 00:12:09,083 --> 00:12:11,001 - Okay. - Alright, I've decided what I'm gonna do. 311 00:12:11,103 --> 00:12:12,905 I'm gonna turn the heat up on one of the kids. 312 00:12:12,973 --> 00:12:14,708 If they did it, they'll confess. 313 00:12:14,777 --> 00:12:17,146 - If not, the actual criminal... - Mm-hmm? 314 00:12:17,248 --> 00:12:19,852 will feel guilty and step forward. 315 00:12:20,455 --> 00:12:22,657 So, this is gonna be our whole Saturday? 316 00:12:22,759 --> 00:12:25,329 Okay. Why... Why did we even buy bikes? 317 00:12:25,904 --> 00:12:28,001 You took his stupid, little clown, didn't you? 318 00:12:28,070 --> 00:12:29,571 I find it sad that your generation 319 00:12:29,673 --> 00:12:31,375 is so damaged and cynical. 320 00:12:31,477 --> 00:12:32,844 It happened a few days ago. 321 00:12:33,742 --> 00:12:36,752 I hated that thing. It had to go. 322 00:12:36,821 --> 00:12:39,991 I mean, that's how collections start. 323 00:12:43,267 --> 00:12:46,305 I wasn't crazy about the cat cozy, either. 324 00:12:47,022 --> 00:12:48,108 But I never intended 325 00:12:48,176 --> 00:12:50,813 for Cam to blame it on one of those poor kids. 326 00:12:51,353 --> 00:12:54,222 I mean, I was just gonna pin it on the cleaning lady. 327 00:12:54,291 --> 00:12:55,693 Where's it at, Wonderbread? 328 00:12:55,761 --> 00:12:57,663 Uh, I don't know what you're talking about, Mr. Tucker. I-I swear. 329 00:12:57,732 --> 00:12:58,799 Okay. Okay. 330 00:12:58,867 --> 00:13:00,369 Let's just, uh... Let's all take a breath 331 00:13:00,471 --> 00:13:02,540 and just remember some of the basics of the law, okay? 332 00:13:02,609 --> 00:13:05,044 We're all innocent until proven guilty. 333 00:13:05,113 --> 00:13:07,950 Take it from someone who is packing one of... 334 00:13:08,018 --> 00:13:09,920 Oh, dang it. Ooh, I left it in the kitchen. 335 00:13:10,022 --> 00:13:11,289 Okay, stay right there. 336 00:13:11,359 --> 00:13:13,293 - This is lame. Let's bounce. - Okay, no. 337 00:13:13,363 --> 00:13:17,074 No one is bouncing until I get my figurine. 338 00:13:17,109 --> 00:13:18,270 But I have to get home soon. 339 00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:21,143 I've read your file, Belinda. No one knows or cares where you are. 340 00:13:23,566 --> 00:13:25,000 And... 341 00:13:27,970 --> 00:13:29,008 done! 342 00:13:31,448 --> 00:13:33,851 Oh, why? Why? 343 00:13:33,953 --> 00:13:36,747 What is going on? 344 00:13:36,782 --> 00:13:38,159 How are they still awake? 345 00:13:38,261 --> 00:13:40,565 I tried the vacuum. I tried formula. 346 00:13:40,667 --> 00:13:41,834 I tried everything. 347 00:13:41,936 --> 00:13:42,969 Not quite. 348 00:13:42,971 --> 00:13:45,842 It is time to break out... 349 00:13:46,747 --> 00:13:48,614 the big guns. Hmm? 350 00:13:48,716 --> 00:13:49,950 I know Haley banned pacifiers, 351 00:13:50,052 --> 00:13:51,062 but I bought these 352 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:52,455 when I thought she was gonna be a fun mom. 353 00:13:52,557 --> 00:13:54,191 Let's do it. 354 00:13:57,434 --> 00:13:58,467 Look at that. 355 00:13:58,469 --> 00:13:59,536 It's working already. 356 00:13:59,605 --> 00:14:02,074 Old-school parenting for the win. 357 00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:03,577 They'll be asleep in no time, 358 00:14:03,646 --> 00:14:04,913 unless they see each other. 359 00:14:04,982 --> 00:14:06,783 - Then they won't be able to stop laughing. - Yes. 360 00:14:25,556 --> 00:14:27,223 What the hell? 361 00:14:27,326 --> 00:14:28,927 Formula? Pacifiers? 362 00:14:29,029 --> 00:14:30,162 Are you kidding me? 363 00:14:30,215 --> 00:14:32,918 This is a very weird way of saying, "Thank you, Mother, 364 00:14:33,020 --> 00:14:34,689 "for settling down my babies. 365 00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:36,626 I have a lot to learn from you." 366 00:14:36,728 --> 00:14:38,797 You ignored everything I asked of you! 367 00:14:38,899 --> 00:14:40,868 Haley, don't be so hard on your mom. 368 00:14:40,970 --> 00:14:42,036 Ohh, you! 369 00:14:42,138 --> 00:14:44,241 Those pacifiers have you written all over them. 370 00:14:45,513 --> 00:14:46,546 Hmm. 371 00:14:49,253 --> 00:14:51,489 Babies aren't supposed to smoke! 372 00:14:59,381 --> 00:15:00,849 How could you sneak behind my back like that? 373 00:15:00,917 --> 00:15:02,218 Honey, we were just trying to help. 374 00:15:02,321 --> 00:15:03,331 Well, you didn't. 375 00:15:03,389 --> 00:15:05,458 The book says 85% of pacifier users 376 00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:06,894 grow up to be cat people. 377 00:15:06,963 --> 00:15:09,900 I can't believe I'm saying this, but you need to stop reading. 378 00:15:10,002 --> 00:15:11,035 And do what? 379 00:15:11,037 --> 00:15:12,939 Do what? Rely on my instincts? 380 00:15:13,041 --> 00:15:15,511 I don't have any. That is the problem! 381 00:15:15,580 --> 00:15:17,081 Honey, everybody has instincts. 382 00:15:17,149 --> 00:15:18,159 Oh, do I? 383 00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:19,753 Because I keep waiting for them to kick in, 384 00:15:19,755 --> 00:15:20,755 and they haven't. 385 00:15:20,757 --> 00:15:22,825 And I don't think that they ever will. I just... 386 00:15:22,894 --> 00:15:24,629 Maybe I'm just not meant to be a mom. 387 00:15:24,697 --> 00:15:26,633 Sweetie, of course you're meant to be a mom. 388 00:15:26,735 --> 00:15:30,440 Listen, it is normal to feel overwhelmed. Really. 389 00:15:30,509 --> 00:15:32,611 It... The best parents are the ones who worry 390 00:15:32,713 --> 00:15:34,982 - they're doing it wrong. - Same goes for lovers. 391 00:15:36,388 --> 00:15:38,356 Wait, are the babies still on the couch? 392 00:15:38,458 --> 00:15:39,926 Oh, I'm sure they're fine. 393 00:15:40,495 --> 00:15:42,664 It's locked. Babies start rolling over at this age. 394 00:15:42,766 --> 00:15:44,133 - Oh. - Do you have a key? 395 00:15:44,202 --> 00:15:45,937 Uh, it's inside, but I hid one out here years ago. 396 00:15:46,039 --> 00:15:47,474 It's in, um... 397 00:15:47,543 --> 00:15:49,611 It's in a fake rock. 398 00:15:49,714 --> 00:15:50,980 Can't... Can't find it. 399 00:15:51,083 --> 00:15:52,149 It's... It's too realistic. 400 00:15:52,218 --> 00:15:53,653 Why did I spring for the good one? 401 00:15:53,722 --> 00:15:54,822 I have to get in there. 402 00:15:55,959 --> 00:15:57,694 Haley! Haley, what are you doing? 403 00:15:57,796 --> 00:15:59,130 Honey. Honey, be careful. 404 00:15:59,232 --> 00:16:02,002 It's impossible not to fall off of that roof! 405 00:16:03,908 --> 00:16:05,844 Poppy! George! Mommy's coming! 406 00:16:05,946 --> 00:16:08,449 Those sure look like mom instincts to me! 407 00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:10,586 You're a natural! 408 00:16:10,655 --> 00:16:12,957 Now we know how she used to sneak in after curfew. 409 00:16:13,026 --> 00:16:15,295 And who's hanging the Christmas lights this year. 410 00:16:15,364 --> 00:16:16,965 - Yeah. - Babies are up. 411 00:16:17,067 --> 00:16:18,167 Somebody gonna take care of that? 412 00:16:21,210 --> 00:16:23,745 When you lie down in a Dog Bed by Stella, 413 00:16:23,814 --> 00:16:25,916 you know you're loved. 414 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,285 Was that any better? 415 00:16:28,449 --> 00:16:30,326 Where to begin, where to begin... 416 00:16:31,346 --> 00:16:32,730 You've met a dog, right? 417 00:16:32,832 --> 00:16:36,170 - Yes. - And I know you've felt loved before. 418 00:16:36,570 --> 00:16:39,206 So let's link those two ideas and try to get it this time. 419 00:16:39,309 --> 00:16:40,642 Can I get some water first? 420 00:16:40,744 --> 00:16:42,212 I suppose. 421 00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:44,282 You should make her drink it out of a dog bowl. 422 00:16:44,352 --> 00:16:46,688 That seems over-the-line, but you were right. 423 00:16:46,790 --> 00:16:47,823 This is working. 424 00:16:49,696 --> 00:16:51,965 Hey, Alex. Kinda in the middle of something. 425 00:16:52,033 --> 00:16:54,002 Okay. It's just that things are spiraling 426 00:16:54,104 --> 00:16:55,238 a little bit down here. 427 00:16:55,341 --> 00:16:57,421 This guy, Yngvar, keeps trying to woo me 428 00:16:57,456 --> 00:16:59,279 with things he's killed. 429 00:16:59,961 --> 00:17:01,596 Oh. 430 00:17:01,631 --> 00:17:02,632 Another fish. Thanks. 431 00:17:02,651 --> 00:17:03,751 I'll... put it with the others. 432 00:17:03,820 --> 00:17:05,822 We're still at this? Meter's running. 433 00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:08,461 And... action. 434 00:17:08,563 --> 00:17:11,166 When you lie down in a Dog Bed by Stella, 435 00:17:11,234 --> 00:17:13,638 you know you're loved. 436 00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:15,741 Wow. 437 00:17:15,810 --> 00:17:18,246 You have her right where you want her. 438 00:17:18,349 --> 00:17:21,753 Now, go in there, give her a little praise, 439 00:17:21,855 --> 00:17:23,924 and then reel her in. 440 00:17:24,026 --> 00:17:25,126 It won't be hard. 441 00:17:25,228 --> 00:17:26,530 This is her best performance 442 00:17:26,598 --> 00:17:29,402 since that improv audience suggested "Jackée O." 443 00:17:29,471 --> 00:17:31,138 Yngvar does seem sweet. 444 00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:33,810 I read the suicide rate here has plateaued. 445 00:17:33,872 --> 00:17:35,440 Okay, that's enough. Wrap it up, kid. 446 00:17:35,543 --> 00:17:36,643 Time to go home. 447 00:17:36,645 --> 00:17:38,012 Oh. Thank you. 448 00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:39,715 This has not been working out. 449 00:17:39,817 --> 00:17:41,586 I mean, I just needed your permission to admit it 450 00:17:41,655 --> 00:17:43,957 because part of me came down here to impress you. 451 00:17:44,026 --> 00:17:45,961 See you soon, Grandpa. Love you. 452 00:17:47,930 --> 00:17:49,030 So? 453 00:17:49,032 --> 00:17:50,098 That was really good. 454 00:17:50,101 --> 00:17:51,435 Oh, thank God. 455 00:17:51,537 --> 00:17:53,138 I mean, it's all you. 456 00:17:53,207 --> 00:17:56,277 I've never had a director with such a sure hand. 457 00:17:56,347 --> 00:17:57,881 It's so electric. 458 00:17:58,818 --> 00:17:59,985 It is, isn't it? 459 00:18:00,054 --> 00:18:03,659 What do you say we get a drink, Brown Eyes? 460 00:18:03,728 --> 00:18:04,995 It was all happening. 461 00:18:05,064 --> 00:18:07,634 I was on the brink of a directorial masterpiece. 462 00:18:07,703 --> 00:18:09,036 This was the kind of thing that could launch me 463 00:18:09,139 --> 00:18:11,207 straight into an unpaid internship. 464 00:18:12,321 --> 00:18:13,713 Let's put a pin in that drink. 465 00:18:13,782 --> 00:18:14,848 I wanna go again. 466 00:18:17,656 --> 00:18:20,158 It took 63 more takes, but I got it. 467 00:18:20,260 --> 00:18:22,730 When you lie down in a Dog Bed by Stella, 468 00:18:22,832 --> 00:18:24,467 you know you're loved. 469 00:18:24,536 --> 00:18:27,181 You're a purebred. Stop acting like a mutt. 470 00:18:27,216 --> 00:18:28,372 Again! 471 00:18:28,407 --> 00:18:30,580 When you lie down in a Dog Bed by Stella, 472 00:18:30,682 --> 00:18:32,650 you know you're loved. 473 00:18:32,752 --> 00:18:34,086 There's pain behind this. 474 00:18:34,155 --> 00:18:35,856 They spayed you without your permission! 475 00:18:35,925 --> 00:18:38,796 It's your body! Who decided? Again! 476 00:18:40,351 --> 00:18:42,753 When you lie down in a Dog Bed by Stella, 477 00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:44,424 you know you're loved. 478 00:18:44,526 --> 00:18:47,463 - Again! - When you lie down in a Dog Bed by Stella, 479 00:18:47,565 --> 00:18:49,534 you know you're loved. 480 00:18:50,016 --> 00:18:52,051 And cut! We're good in here. 481 00:18:52,153 --> 00:18:53,455 Anything you wanna try? 482 00:18:53,557 --> 00:18:55,157 Not with you! 483 00:18:57,698 --> 00:19:00,402 Garbage. That's what I'm looking at here. 484 00:19:00,504 --> 00:19:01,971 Human garbage. 485 00:19:02,073 --> 00:19:03,408 Yeah, you're right. 486 00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:05,445 It's just like my mom says... I'm nothin'. 487 00:19:05,944 --> 00:19:08,748 I'm gonna join a gang, get a face tattoo. 488 00:19:08,817 --> 00:19:10,885 I'm gonna sell my hair for nose drugs. 489 00:19:10,987 --> 00:19:13,290 No, okay, stop! I-I can't take it anymore. 490 00:19:13,359 --> 00:19:15,328 I'm sorry. I threw away the statue. 491 00:19:15,430 --> 00:19:17,999 It was... It was just so tacky. 492 00:19:18,068 --> 00:19:20,605 You guys, please don't give up on yourselves, okay? 493 00:19:20,707 --> 00:19:21,807 You have very bright futures. 494 00:19:21,909 --> 00:19:22,976 Yeah, you're right. 495 00:19:22,978 --> 00:19:25,715 They sure do... in theater. 496 00:19:25,817 --> 00:19:27,719 Because this is the theater group from school, 497 00:19:27,788 --> 00:19:29,222 The Emotivations! 498 00:19:29,325 --> 00:19:31,694 Bravo! Brava! 499 00:19:32,116 --> 00:19:33,317 I found this in the trash the other day. 500 00:19:33,386 --> 00:19:34,619 I knew you put it there and wouldn't admit it. 501 00:19:34,688 --> 00:19:38,494 So I brought some very talented young thespians over 502 00:19:38,596 --> 00:19:41,199 to portray at-risk youth. 503 00:19:41,302 --> 00:19:42,916 He got you, girl! 504 00:19:43,205 --> 00:19:44,706 You know, I said I wanted to bond with these kids, 505 00:19:44,808 --> 00:19:45,975 and I sure did. 506 00:19:46,044 --> 00:19:47,879 We had some hard-core bondage. 507 00:19:47,948 --> 00:19:49,382 You're gonna get fired. 508 00:19:51,744 --> 00:19:52,655 Ahh! 509 00:19:52,724 --> 00:19:56,229 This bed feels good on my weary bones. 510 00:19:56,332 --> 00:19:57,732 Mmm! 511 00:19:57,834 --> 00:19:59,302 Bones. 512 00:20:00,792 --> 00:20:02,675 - I'm gonna need money for reshoots. - Not gonna happen. 513 00:20:03,227 --> 00:20:05,831 Sometimes in life, you've got to know when to call it quits. 514 00:20:05,933 --> 00:20:07,702 It's not always easy. 515 00:20:07,804 --> 00:20:10,941 It takes a lot of courage to admit your mistakes. 516 00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:13,480 The only thing you can do is try to learn from them 517 00:20:13,582 --> 00:20:15,283 and keep moving forward. 518 00:20:18,325 --> 00:20:20,694 Anyways, the helicopter will be here soon. 519 00:20:20,796 --> 00:20:23,165 So, I guess this is goodbye. 520 00:20:29,246 --> 00:20:30,647 Aw! 521 00:20:30,750 --> 00:20:33,387 I'll miss you, too. 522 00:20:42,125 --> 00:20:43,783 Do you hear that? 523 00:20:43,885 --> 00:20:46,722 There is no sound better than babies not crying. 524 00:20:47,284 --> 00:20:49,528 Mm, we're gonna get so much sleep. 525 00:20:49,630 --> 00:20:51,732 Or... 526 00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:52,867 Again? 527 00:20:52,869 --> 00:20:54,371 I just feel like I could do better. 528 00:20:54,473 --> 00:20:55,707 Oh, you were fine. 529 00:20:55,809 --> 00:20:56,942 - Really? - Mm. 530 00:20:57,044 --> 00:20:58,379 Yes! 531 00:20:58,481 --> 00:21:00,115 Mm. Good night. 532 00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:01,318 Good night. 533 00:21:02,195 --> 00:21:04,324 - Hey! - What? What is that? What is it? 534 00:21:04,426 --> 00:21:06,160 Haley! What are you doing? 535 00:21:06,262 --> 00:21:07,797 I locked myself out again. 536 00:21:07,899 --> 00:21:09,139 Oh. 537 00:21:09,503 --> 00:21:10,703 Great. Thanks for screaming. 538 00:21:10,805 --> 00:21:12,674 Ohh. 539 00:21:12,776 --> 00:21:15,913 Well... as long as we're both awake... 540 00:21:21,380 --> 00:21:23,387 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com