1 00:00:02,581 --> 00:00:05,305 No, Margaret, I want you to triple check 2 00:00:05,373 --> 00:00:07,175 with the compliance officer about that. 3 00:00:07,277 --> 00:00:09,277 - What are you doing? - I'm working on a little something. 4 00:00:09,282 --> 00:00:11,016 You know how when you're making pancakes, 5 00:00:11,118 --> 00:00:12,285 - your hands are always full? - No. 6 00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:13,989 Well, this'll solve that. 7 00:00:15,193 --> 00:00:16,527 Did you take the batteries 8 00:00:16,629 --> 00:00:18,030 out of the smoke detector for this? 9 00:00:18,099 --> 00:00:19,700 No, no, still here. Still here. 10 00:00:19,802 --> 00:00:21,136 Yeah, no, I want to read the investor statement 11 00:00:21,239 --> 00:00:22,339 this afternoon, 12 00:00:22,341 --> 00:00:23,774 but, Dom, you're gonna have to resend it. 13 00:00:23,876 --> 00:00:25,311 You accidentally e-mailed me 14 00:00:25,380 --> 00:00:26,948 the first chapter of your novel, 15 00:00:27,017 --> 00:00:28,718 and just a tiny little note, 16 00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:31,190 maybe not all bosoms are heaving. 17 00:00:31,292 --> 00:00:32,689 Thanks, guys. 18 00:00:33,846 --> 00:00:35,698 Work call on a Saturday morning? What's going on? 19 00:00:36,902 --> 00:00:38,104 Honey. 20 00:00:38,789 --> 00:00:40,041 You probably don't want to get into this right now, 21 00:00:40,110 --> 00:00:42,846 but is this a bald spot or the center of your swirl? 22 00:00:44,184 --> 00:00:46,453 My job has been miserable. 23 00:00:46,555 --> 00:00:48,791 I'm always working, I never sleep, 24 00:00:48,859 --> 00:00:50,996 and all I do is clean up other people's messes 25 00:00:51,031 --> 00:00:53,567 because I'm the only adult in the room. 26 00:00:53,669 --> 00:00:54,836 Oh, my God. 27 00:00:54,939 --> 00:00:58,377 I'm a mom again, but to people I don't love. 28 00:00:58,839 --> 00:00:59,872 Sweetheart, listen. 29 00:00:59,942 --> 00:01:01,142 For years, you supported me 30 00:01:01,244 --> 00:01:04,160 while I juggled realtoring and... and juggling. 31 00:01:04,195 --> 00:01:05,684 And now it's my turn to support you. 32 00:01:05,753 --> 00:01:07,956 Anything that's not work, I'm your guy. 33 00:01:08,058 --> 00:01:09,225 Oh, God! 34 00:01:22,037 --> 00:01:24,722 Hey, look at you guys. So playful. 35 00:01:24,824 --> 00:01:26,759 When I get married, I hope my wife and I 36 00:01:26,862 --> 00:01:28,563 never lose that sense of whimsy. 37 00:01:28,565 --> 00:01:29,665 - Thank you, Luke. - What do you want? 38 00:01:29,667 --> 00:01:30,868 Okay, here's the deal. 39 00:01:30,971 --> 00:01:32,037 My buddy Scooter and I 40 00:01:32,106 --> 00:01:33,707 came up with this really cool business idea. 41 00:01:33,809 --> 00:01:34,977 We think it's gonna be huge. 42 00:01:35,045 --> 00:01:36,412 That's great, pal! 43 00:01:36,515 --> 00:01:37,681 We are so proud of you. 44 00:01:37,783 --> 00:01:40,087 - Get to the bad part. - There is no bad part. 45 00:01:40,189 --> 00:01:42,358 Actually, you guys are gonna make money. 46 00:01:42,460 --> 00:01:44,061 Because I have to drop out of school to do it. 47 00:01:44,718 --> 00:01:45,898 You're not dropping out of school. 48 00:01:46,001 --> 00:01:47,034 - Honey... - No. 49 00:01:47,103 --> 00:01:48,203 I... I got this. 50 00:01:48,205 --> 00:01:49,338 But we should've seen it coming. 51 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:50,607 After all, his dad is the creator 52 00:01:50,709 --> 00:01:53,246 of the Hey Batter, Batter. 53 00:01:53,348 --> 00:01:54,515 The name's a placeholder. 54 00:01:54,617 --> 00:01:55,884 But probably still available. 55 00:01:55,954 --> 00:01:58,456 Dad, I want you to know I love your pancake shooter. 56 00:01:58,559 --> 00:02:03,867 Have you seen the updates... to... 57 00:02:03,970 --> 00:02:05,904 the Insta-Cold straw? 58 00:02:06,007 --> 00:02:07,341 You should be on a stamp. 59 00:02:07,410 --> 00:02:09,579 Has that ever not electrocuted someone? 60 00:02:09,681 --> 00:02:11,616 Sometimes you have to shock a few people 61 00:02:11,718 --> 00:02:13,086 before you shock the world. 62 00:02:13,188 --> 00:02:14,923 - Huh. - That should go on your stamp. 63 00:02:15,025 --> 00:02:17,035 Okay, stop flattering your dad. 64 00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:18,096 You're not dropping out of school. 65 00:02:18,098 --> 00:02:19,432 You're almost done! 66 00:02:19,500 --> 00:02:21,035 And more importantly, 67 00:02:21,137 --> 00:02:22,605 we don't quit things in this family. 68 00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:23,907 Haley quit college. 69 00:02:24,010 --> 00:02:26,012 And Alex quit her job in Antarctica. 70 00:02:26,114 --> 00:02:28,149 And Dad has never finished a Sudoku. 71 00:02:28,218 --> 00:02:29,385 They are hard. 72 00:02:29,487 --> 00:02:30,854 Mom, this isn't some goof. 73 00:02:30,957 --> 00:02:33,026 Scooter and I really believe in this idea. 74 00:02:33,128 --> 00:02:34,228 Can we at least show you 75 00:02:34,330 --> 00:02:35,932 in the investor presentation this afternoon? 76 00:02:36,034 --> 00:02:37,434 We'd love to hear it, wouldn't we? 77 00:02:37,536 --> 00:02:39,105 Of course. 78 00:02:39,173 --> 00:02:41,142 Yes! You guys aren't gonna be disappointed. 79 00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:42,544 I'm gonna call Scooter now. 80 00:02:44,183 --> 00:02:45,966 He's not dropping out of school. 81 00:02:46,001 --> 00:02:48,193 You have got to listen with an open mind. 82 00:02:48,228 --> 00:02:49,792 After all, what kind of world would we live in 83 00:02:49,894 --> 00:02:51,429 if all parents forced their kids to stay in school 84 00:02:51,498 --> 00:02:52,665 and not pursue their dreams? 85 00:02:52,767 --> 00:02:56,572 No Steve Jobs, no Mark Zuckerberg, no Cindy Crawford. 86 00:02:56,574 --> 00:02:58,978 Steve Jobs put a computer in everyone's pocket. 87 00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:01,783 Luke almost died taking off a hoodie on an escalator. 88 00:03:01,851 --> 00:03:04,522 My point is, dreams need to be fostered. 89 00:03:04,624 --> 00:03:06,025 And if I'm being honest, 90 00:03:06,127 --> 00:03:07,795 I kind of love the idea of being a mentor 91 00:03:07,897 --> 00:03:08,964 to these two young minds. 92 00:03:10,669 --> 00:03:12,004 Wooden spoon! 93 00:03:12,039 --> 00:03:13,707 Knock it away with a wooden spoon! 94 00:03:13,775 --> 00:03:15,043 Thank you. 95 00:03:18,939 --> 00:03:20,206 Oh, this is amazing! 96 00:03:20,208 --> 00:03:21,275 - Oh, my God. - Oh. 97 00:03:21,277 --> 00:03:22,611 Daddy so walks like that! 98 00:03:23,949 --> 00:03:25,985 Why are you guys laughing? 99 00:03:25,987 --> 00:03:27,087 We... We were happy? 100 00:03:27,089 --> 00:03:28,322 Since when? 101 00:03:28,424 --> 00:03:29,792 Were you watching that video again? 102 00:03:29,894 --> 00:03:31,963 Recently, the high school dolphin mascot 103 00:03:32,065 --> 00:03:34,635 has been, uh, mocking Cam during football games. 104 00:03:34,737 --> 00:03:36,973 He's... and I don't use this word lightly... 105 00:03:37,075 --> 00:03:38,709 a genius. 106 00:03:38,812 --> 00:03:40,880 How about we get our heads in the game? 107 00:03:46,327 --> 00:03:47,594 Rick, you're gonna be streaking through. 108 00:03:47,663 --> 00:03:49,765 So it's gonna be boom, boom. You got it? 109 00:03:51,270 --> 00:03:52,904 I'm surprised you can't see the humor 110 00:03:53,007 --> 00:03:54,641 in what the mascot is doing. 111 00:03:54,743 --> 00:03:56,212 Isn't it a lot like clowning? 112 00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:58,082 - What did you just say? - Are you insane? 113 00:03:58,184 --> 00:04:00,220 Mascot-ing is nothing like clowning! 114 00:04:00,288 --> 00:04:02,657 Clowns are descendants of the court jester, 115 00:04:02,759 --> 00:04:04,761 truth-teller to the king. 116 00:04:04,864 --> 00:04:07,067 Mascots know nothing of veritas and beauty. 117 00:04:07,169 --> 00:04:09,204 Don't you just make wiener dogs out of balloons? 118 00:04:09,306 --> 00:04:11,742 You are just jealous because no kid ever said, 119 00:04:11,811 --> 00:04:13,246 "Hey, Mom, this year for my birthday, 120 00:04:13,348 --> 00:04:14,748 can we get a narc?" 121 00:04:14,850 --> 00:04:16,185 Okay, look, I'm... I'm sorry. 122 00:04:16,287 --> 00:04:17,955 I'm just stressed out. This mascot is under my skin! 123 00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:21,595 I can't have him making me look like a fool today. 124 00:04:21,697 --> 00:04:22,797 I just found out a recruiter 125 00:04:22,900 --> 00:04:24,534 from the University of North Central Missouri 126 00:04:24,637 --> 00:04:26,138 is coming to watch me coach. 127 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:27,440 A recruiter? 128 00:04:27,542 --> 00:04:29,077 Did you apply for a job in Missouri? 129 00:04:29,179 --> 00:04:30,380 I just said I was available. 130 00:04:30,482 --> 00:04:32,317 W-Without consulting me? 131 00:04:32,345 --> 00:04:33,386 Well, you always said you were okay 132 00:04:33,488 --> 00:04:35,056 with moving back to Missouri at some point, 133 00:04:35,158 --> 00:04:37,294 turning our little family into a "farmily." 134 00:04:37,396 --> 00:04:38,462 You know I hate that word. 135 00:04:38,464 --> 00:04:39,598 Why? It's descriptive and fun. 136 00:04:39,700 --> 00:04:41,168 And you know what? Look, if I got this job, 137 00:04:41,270 --> 00:04:44,943 I would be the first openly gay college football coach in history, 138 00:04:45,045 --> 00:04:47,647 and I would think you'd support that. 139 00:04:47,749 --> 00:04:49,751 And I would think that you would ask me 140 00:04:49,853 --> 00:04:52,129 before uprooting our whole farmily... 141 00:04:52,164 --> 00:04:53,258 Gah. 142 00:04:53,261 --> 00:04:54,861 Damn it, it's in there now! 143 00:04:58,709 --> 00:04:59,771 - Hi. - Hi. 144 00:04:59,873 --> 00:05:01,809 Hello, mis ni?os. 145 00:05:01,911 --> 00:05:03,212 Thank you so much for watching the babies 146 00:05:03,314 --> 00:05:04,381 for a few hours. 147 00:05:04,450 --> 00:05:06,085 If you have trouble telling them apart, 148 00:05:06,187 --> 00:05:07,454 just take off their diapers. 149 00:05:07,556 --> 00:05:08,991 I wrote George's name inside his. 150 00:05:09,093 --> 00:05:10,560 There's my great-grandchildren. 151 00:05:10,662 --> 00:05:11,695 Do they recognize faces? 152 00:05:11,797 --> 00:05:13,499 Do I need to start slipping them cash 153 00:05:13,601 --> 00:05:14,969 to let them know who's in charge? 154 00:05:15,071 --> 00:05:17,240 Grandpa, you don't need to buy their love. 155 00:05:17,342 --> 00:05:19,077 Buy mine, and I'll talk you up. 156 00:05:19,179 --> 00:05:21,348 Are we babysitting? Should I cancel golf? 157 00:05:21,450 --> 00:05:22,851 No, no, no, no, I know how important it is 158 00:05:22,954 --> 00:05:24,421 for you and your friends to complain about 159 00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:26,625 how young people today 160 00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:28,596 are slightly different than your generation. 161 00:05:28,698 --> 00:05:30,968 Vin Diesel is just Telly Savalas 162 00:05:31,070 --> 00:05:33,773 without the lollipop and a great catchphrase. 163 00:05:34,357 --> 00:05:37,213 Okay, and you two, I know how precious alone time is 164 00:05:37,315 --> 00:05:38,582 for new parents, 165 00:05:38,684 --> 00:05:40,186 - so everybody go. - Bye-bye! 166 00:05:40,288 --> 00:05:42,657 Have a great afternoon! 167 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:44,795 Okay, mis ni?os, Gloria has planned 168 00:05:44,897 --> 00:05:47,467 a very exciting afternoon for you. 169 00:05:48,801 --> 00:05:50,339 Let's see. 170 00:05:50,442 --> 00:05:53,813 Who is ready to reject Satan 171 00:05:53,915 --> 00:05:57,554 and all his empty promises? 172 00:05:57,656 --> 00:06:00,493 Today, I'm having the babies secretly baptized, 173 00:06:00,562 --> 00:06:03,466 both into Catholicism and into the crazy things 174 00:06:03,568 --> 00:06:05,917 we do to each other in this family. 175 00:06:06,588 --> 00:06:10,708 - Absolutely not! - Okay, be reasonable, Tashi. 176 00:06:10,777 --> 00:06:12,412 I... Tonight's a big game for me. 177 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:14,449 I... I need to project authority, 178 00:06:14,484 --> 00:06:16,219 and your antics undermine me. 179 00:06:16,322 --> 00:06:17,422 Well, buckle up, Coach, 180 00:06:17,457 --> 00:06:19,192 'cause I'm taking it up a giant notch 181 00:06:19,261 --> 00:06:21,296 and taping today's game for my college apps. 182 00:06:21,398 --> 00:06:23,033 Okay, you're gonna get into college. 183 00:06:23,135 --> 00:06:24,436 You have fantastic grades. 184 00:06:24,504 --> 00:06:27,575 Oh, you're right... an Asian kid with great grades. That's fresh. 185 00:06:27,644 --> 00:06:29,012 I need to guarantee a spot. 186 00:06:29,114 --> 00:06:30,481 Mascot-ing sets me apart. 187 00:06:30,583 --> 00:06:31,951 Listen, you little punk. 188 00:06:32,053 --> 00:06:33,220 I could suspend you. 189 00:06:33,322 --> 00:06:34,389 How would your fancy colleges 190 00:06:34,491 --> 00:06:36,422 like to see that on your record, huh? 191 00:06:36,938 --> 00:06:39,173 Nice try, but, uh, my free expression 192 00:06:39,208 --> 00:06:40,460 is protected by the Supreme Court ruling 193 00:06:40,495 --> 00:06:42,249 in North Dakota vs. Bandito. 194 00:06:42,284 --> 00:06:45,424 Oh, you... you halftime hacks. 195 00:06:45,579 --> 00:06:47,481 No scruples, no honor. 196 00:06:48,551 --> 00:06:50,453 Is this a clown thing again? 197 00:06:50,522 --> 00:06:52,357 We clowns have more humanity 198 00:06:52,426 --> 00:06:55,730 in one of our whimsically oversized pinkies, 199 00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:58,669 more than you do in your entire stinky costume. 200 00:06:59,907 --> 00:07:01,108 You powder-faced elitists, 201 00:07:01,177 --> 00:07:03,179 looking down your red noses at everybody! 202 00:07:03,281 --> 00:07:05,717 Wipe the pie out of your eyes. 203 00:07:05,819 --> 00:07:07,621 The revolution is coming! 204 00:07:11,248 --> 00:07:14,301 - Do we really need to do this on a Saturday? - I'm sorry. 205 00:07:14,399 --> 00:07:15,566 Nick was supposed to sign these 206 00:07:15,635 --> 00:07:17,036 - before he left for Fiji... - Mm. 207 00:07:17,105 --> 00:07:19,141 and people need to get paid. 208 00:07:19,243 --> 00:07:22,380 We don't all live in mansions. 209 00:07:22,482 --> 00:07:24,417 This is hardly a mansion, Margaret. 210 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:27,557 Whoa, why are we writing a huge check to a shaman? 211 00:07:27,592 --> 00:07:30,596 Oh, Nick took the interns on a vision quest. 212 00:07:30,698 --> 00:07:32,567 Well, the female ones. 213 00:07:32,769 --> 00:07:33,902 - Gross. - Mm. 214 00:07:33,972 --> 00:07:35,673 Hey, guys. Scooter's here. 215 00:07:35,741 --> 00:07:36,976 Great. 216 00:07:37,078 --> 00:07:39,480 Can't wait to hear this amazing idea. 217 00:07:39,549 --> 00:07:41,051 Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. 218 00:07:41,119 --> 00:07:43,188 Can we just remember we're on the same team 219 00:07:43,257 --> 00:07:44,424 and Luke can't drop out of school? 220 00:07:44,459 --> 00:07:45,693 So please don't make me the bad guy. 221 00:07:45,795 --> 00:07:47,931 Honey, they're kids. I don't want to crush their spirit. 222 00:07:48,033 --> 00:07:49,043 They're just... 223 00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:50,269 They're just looking for a little guidance. 224 00:07:50,338 --> 00:07:52,873 Oh, we're gonna guide them right back into college. 225 00:07:52,926 --> 00:07:54,460 Margaret, this is gonna take a few minutes. 226 00:07:54,529 --> 00:07:56,064 Do you mind hanging here while we're in the living room? 227 00:07:56,099 --> 00:07:59,303 I'll just wait here in this other living room. 228 00:07:59,405 --> 00:08:01,841 My God, the waste. 229 00:08:02,304 --> 00:08:05,248 - Hey! - Mom, Dad, this is Scooter Rivael. 230 00:08:05,317 --> 00:08:07,552 - Phil, Claire, nice to meet you. - Hi. 231 00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,423 Luke said such wonderful things. 232 00:08:09,525 --> 00:08:11,594 Wait. Um, you're... you're Scooter? 233 00:08:11,662 --> 00:08:12,964 I-I was expecting someone younger, 234 00:08:13,033 --> 00:08:15,568 maybe wearing Heelys and a backpack. 235 00:08:16,639 --> 00:08:18,141 Uh, well, my real name's Scott, 236 00:08:18,209 --> 00:08:19,676 but Luke and I met at the club 237 00:08:19,745 --> 00:08:21,547 where everyone calls me Scooter. 238 00:08:21,649 --> 00:08:22,716 Or worse. 239 00:08:24,221 --> 00:08:26,323 So, let's hear this big idea, huh? 240 00:08:26,392 --> 00:08:29,262 Okay. Well, just like we rehearsed it. 241 00:08:29,365 --> 00:08:30,798 You got this, buddy. 242 00:08:32,504 --> 00:08:34,806 Remember when I took nighttime medicine in the daytime 243 00:08:34,908 --> 00:08:36,176 and fell down the stairs? 244 00:08:36,699 --> 00:08:37,412 - Remember? - Yeah. 245 00:08:37,481 --> 00:08:39,449 I bent all your fingers back into their sockets. 246 00:08:39,518 --> 00:08:41,453 Well, I had to go to three different doctors, 247 00:08:41,522 --> 00:08:43,858 and every one of them made me fill out the same forms. 248 00:08:44,327 --> 00:08:46,096 Introducing FormFiller Med, 249 00:08:46,198 --> 00:08:47,665 a secure encrypted mobile app 250 00:08:47,734 --> 00:08:49,702 that transfers your medical and insurance info 251 00:08:49,704 --> 00:08:51,640 to your doctor's office with a tap of your phone. 252 00:08:51,675 --> 00:08:53,610 No more filling out the same boring forms 253 00:08:53,712 --> 00:08:54,980 over and over again. 254 00:08:55,049 --> 00:08:56,716 I ran the idea by a couple old guys at the club, 255 00:08:56,819 --> 00:08:59,022 - and they loved it. - Yeah, and we weren't even drunk yet. 256 00:09:02,190 --> 00:09:05,060 Alcoholism kills millions of people a day. 257 00:09:06,031 --> 00:09:07,364 I know what you're thinking... 258 00:09:07,433 --> 00:09:08,935 Will doctors go for this? 259 00:09:09,003 --> 00:09:11,739 We polled over 200 doctors and medical personnel, 260 00:09:11,808 --> 00:09:15,147 and 93% said that they would happily pay our monthly fee 261 00:09:15,249 --> 00:09:16,849 to reduce their administrative load. 262 00:09:17,273 --> 00:09:18,506 But don't, uh, doctor's offices 263 00:09:18,608 --> 00:09:20,443 all use, like, different systems? 264 00:09:20,546 --> 00:09:21,712 Great question, Claire. 265 00:09:21,814 --> 00:09:23,483 The top two medical software systems 266 00:09:23,585 --> 00:09:25,020 have 90% market share, 267 00:09:25,122 --> 00:09:26,322 and we're compatible with both. 268 00:09:26,925 --> 00:09:28,859 Wow. And, uh, what do you do, Scooter? 269 00:09:28,929 --> 00:09:30,463 Other than befriend children, I mean. 270 00:09:30,498 --> 00:09:32,067 I'm a venture capitalist. 271 00:09:32,135 --> 00:09:35,640 I've invested in 22 companies over the last 30 years 272 00:09:35,708 --> 00:09:36,875 and personally led three of them 273 00:09:36,945 --> 00:09:38,579 from initial concept through IPO. 274 00:09:38,681 --> 00:09:39,748 Fascinating. 275 00:09:39,750 --> 00:09:41,018 You ever thought about starting a business 276 00:09:41,087 --> 00:09:43,055 with, um, I don't know, your... your own son? 277 00:09:45,528 --> 00:09:46,548 Okay. 278 00:09:46,597 --> 00:09:49,468 Let me show you the device itself. 279 00:09:49,570 --> 00:09:51,171 All a doctor's office has to do 280 00:09:51,273 --> 00:09:53,442 is plug this into the USB slot 281 00:09:53,511 --> 00:09:54,878 of their reception room computer. 282 00:09:56,820 --> 00:09:58,923 A patient opens the app on their phone 283 00:09:58,992 --> 00:10:00,893 and taps it against the device. 284 00:10:00,996 --> 00:10:02,830 And just like that, 285 00:10:02,899 --> 00:10:04,233 all of your encrypted and pertinent 286 00:10:04,302 --> 00:10:05,603 medical and insurance information 287 00:10:05,671 --> 00:10:07,673 is instantly in your doctor's database. 288 00:10:07,742 --> 00:10:09,477 Well, I am so sorry, guys, 289 00:10:09,546 --> 00:10:11,753 but I like filling out medical forms, 290 00:10:11,788 --> 00:10:14,053 and I think there are millions of hardworking Americans just like me, 291 00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:15,889 so this Shark is out. 292 00:10:15,892 --> 00:10:16,992 Uh, Mom? 293 00:10:16,995 --> 00:10:18,161 Oh, good luck with that one. 294 00:10:18,230 --> 00:10:19,364 She's a lot tougher than me. 295 00:10:19,466 --> 00:10:22,169 Well, it brings me absolutely no joy to say this. 296 00:10:22,271 --> 00:10:23,739 Luke, I'm impressed. 297 00:10:23,841 --> 00:10:25,643 - But...? - But nothing. 298 00:10:26,202 --> 00:10:27,012 Do you have any idea 299 00:10:27,068 --> 00:10:28,936 how much I hate filling out those medical forms? 300 00:10:29,005 --> 00:10:31,074 It seems like you have really done your homework, 301 00:10:31,176 --> 00:10:34,480 and most importantly, you got a great partner here. 302 00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:36,650 I say go for it. 303 00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:38,221 - Seriously? - Mm-hmm. 304 00:10:38,289 --> 00:10:39,556 Psst, Claire? 305 00:10:39,625 --> 00:10:41,794 Um, I have Nick on the phone from Fiji. 306 00:10:41,896 --> 00:10:42,997 We're in the middle of something, Margaret. 307 00:10:43,099 --> 00:10:45,735 - He says it's an emergency. - Ugh. 308 00:10:45,837 --> 00:10:47,038 He's on my phone. 309 00:10:47,107 --> 00:10:48,574 It's in the solarium. 310 00:10:48,643 --> 00:10:49,910 It's a bay window, Margaret. 311 00:10:50,013 --> 00:10:51,080 We did it, buddy! 312 00:10:51,149 --> 00:10:52,749 Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. 313 00:10:52,851 --> 00:10:53,952 It's not settled yet. 314 00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:55,355 Well, I thought we heard a yes. 315 00:10:55,424 --> 00:10:57,859 No, I'm... I'm still having a conversation with my wife. 316 00:10:57,929 --> 00:10:59,796 Please, make yourself comfortable. 317 00:10:59,832 --> 00:11:02,068 Maybe kick off those rubber-soled shoes 318 00:11:02,137 --> 00:11:04,606 while I grab you an instantly cold beverage. 319 00:11:04,708 --> 00:11:06,910 "I'm just your husband." "Oh, your husband?" 320 00:11:07,013 --> 00:11:08,114 "You're gossiping. That's what I do." 321 00:11:08,182 --> 00:11:09,916 Looks like someone had a fight. 322 00:11:10,488 --> 00:11:11,921 Hey, um, Mrs. Pasternack. 323 00:11:11,990 --> 00:11:13,557 Um, was it that obvious? 324 00:11:13,659 --> 00:11:15,461 Eh. I say that to everyone. 325 00:11:15,530 --> 00:11:17,198 More often than not, I'm right. 326 00:11:17,300 --> 00:11:19,335 - Martini? - No thanks, I'm... I'm good. 327 00:11:19,438 --> 00:11:20,738 No, you're not. 328 00:11:21,208 --> 00:11:22,275 Marriage is hard. 329 00:11:22,377 --> 00:11:23,710 I know! 330 00:11:23,746 --> 00:11:26,483 Everyone's always trying to change each other. 331 00:11:26,552 --> 00:11:28,720 It's like, I'm an adult film director 332 00:11:28,823 --> 00:11:31,043 who collects Precious Moments Dolls. 333 00:11:31,078 --> 00:11:32,127 Let me be me! 334 00:11:33,299 --> 00:11:34,499 So, what's up with you two? 335 00:11:34,601 --> 00:11:37,371 Uh, Cam started looking for a job out of state 336 00:11:37,473 --> 00:11:38,674 with... without consulting me. 337 00:11:38,776 --> 00:11:40,979 Don't worry. You'll meet someone else. 338 00:11:41,048 --> 00:11:42,214 No, he wants me to go with him. 339 00:11:42,317 --> 00:11:44,618 Ah, that's the Cam I know. 340 00:11:44,670 --> 00:11:46,739 He's always going on about you. 341 00:11:46,841 --> 00:11:47,976 He is? 342 00:11:48,044 --> 00:11:50,113 Haven't you ever seen his Facebook page? 343 00:11:50,215 --> 00:11:51,616 He's obsessed with you. 344 00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:54,655 "How gorgeous does Mitchell look in this picture?" 345 00:11:55,332 --> 00:11:58,663 Aww. "Proud to be married to a man who fights for justice." 346 00:11:58,732 --> 00:12:00,700 Aww. "Mitchell over his cold. 347 00:12:00,769 --> 00:12:03,006 Hope my hubby brings the love tonight." 348 00:12:03,108 --> 00:12:05,177 Ew, my dad liked that. Euch. 349 00:12:05,245 --> 00:12:06,612 All right, Lily, I'm on my way to the game. 350 00:12:06,714 --> 00:12:07,781 How bad is it? 351 00:12:07,883 --> 00:12:09,785 The dolphin is eviscerating Dad. 352 00:12:11,174 --> 00:12:12,874 Oh! Aah! Aah. 353 00:12:13,745 --> 00:12:16,015 Oh, if it was me, he would totally do something. 354 00:12:16,117 --> 00:12:17,952 But what? Ah, just give me a sign! 355 00:12:22,095 --> 00:12:24,732 Is there any way I could just throw money at it? 356 00:12:27,270 --> 00:12:29,541 Ay. Ay. 357 00:12:40,933 --> 00:12:42,634 Except for Father Ramirez, 358 00:12:42,702 --> 00:12:43,836 all the priests I asked 359 00:12:43,939 --> 00:12:47,677 were "uncomfortable" with my secret baptism. 360 00:12:47,746 --> 00:12:51,051 They said it was "borderline kidnapping," 361 00:12:51,153 --> 00:12:53,656 that they found my trickery "devilish." 362 00:12:53,724 --> 00:12:58,265 It's like, when did Catholics become so judgmental? 363 00:13:30,764 --> 00:13:32,800 Jay, you're back! 364 00:13:32,902 --> 00:13:33,936 Why do you sound surprised? 365 00:13:34,038 --> 00:13:35,172 You cut my brakes or something? 366 00:13:36,409 --> 00:13:38,311 What the hell's a priest doing here? 367 00:13:38,380 --> 00:13:40,315 Oh, it's just a check-up. 368 00:13:40,417 --> 00:13:43,655 One of the babies maybe is... possessed. 369 00:13:43,757 --> 00:13:45,158 Wait, are you baptizing them 370 00:13:45,260 --> 00:13:47,129 behind Haley and what's-his-name's back? 371 00:13:47,231 --> 00:13:48,966 You can't do that to other people's kids! 372 00:13:48,968 --> 00:13:50,068 It's not a big deal. 373 00:13:50,070 --> 00:13:52,539 If it works, the babies are protected, 374 00:13:52,641 --> 00:13:53,976 their souls are safe, 375 00:13:54,078 --> 00:13:56,013 and they're gonna spend eternity in Heaven. 376 00:13:56,115 --> 00:13:57,215 If it doesn't, 377 00:13:57,218 --> 00:13:58,953 it's just like I gave them a little bath. 378 00:14:03,630 --> 00:14:05,933 - "Viejo." I know that word. - Hmm? 379 00:14:06,035 --> 00:14:07,903 Did Father Time here just call me old? 380 00:14:08,006 --> 00:14:09,540 Okay, let's all calm down. 381 00:14:09,642 --> 00:14:12,179 Let's introduce the babies to the one true God, 382 00:14:12,281 --> 00:14:14,283 then we'll have some coffee cake. 383 00:14:14,352 --> 00:14:15,719 You know you're crossing a line here. 384 00:14:15,821 --> 00:14:18,191 Haley and Dylan doesn't even have to know. 385 00:14:18,293 --> 00:14:19,894 Know what? 386 00:14:19,997 --> 00:14:21,564 Why is there a priest here? 387 00:14:21,666 --> 00:14:23,735 I told you, Poppy's possessed! 388 00:14:23,837 --> 00:14:25,171 Everybody can see it but you. 389 00:14:26,915 --> 00:14:29,030 Why didn't you just ask us? 390 00:14:31,703 --> 00:14:33,205 I did. I did ask you. 391 00:14:33,274 --> 00:14:35,376 You said yes. I think you were very drunk. 392 00:14:35,478 --> 00:14:37,713 Haley, New-Phil, 393 00:14:37,782 --> 00:14:39,250 do you really want this baptism? 394 00:14:39,669 --> 00:14:42,740 I don't know. We've barely thought about it. 395 00:14:42,809 --> 00:14:45,712 Dylan did say that he was going to research some religions. 396 00:14:45,781 --> 00:14:48,318 I'm halfway through this Jim Jones documentary. 397 00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:50,255 So far, that religion seems pretty cool. 398 00:14:50,357 --> 00:14:52,526 I'm sorry that I didn't ask you before. 399 00:14:52,595 --> 00:14:55,232 I really wanted to do this for George and Poppy. 400 00:14:55,301 --> 00:14:58,071 Baptism is gonna allow their souls 401 00:14:58,173 --> 00:15:00,075 to find eternal peace. 402 00:15:00,077 --> 00:15:01,110 What's the catch? 403 00:15:01,212 --> 00:15:02,981 Well, there's a lot of donations 404 00:15:03,016 --> 00:15:04,450 and some shame around sex, 405 00:15:04,519 --> 00:15:05,852 but Christmas is fun. 406 00:15:05,955 --> 00:15:08,258 Ugh. I don't even know how I can decide, 407 00:15:08,326 --> 00:15:10,629 but I guess it can't hurt. 408 00:15:10,731 --> 00:15:11,864 Yahoo! 409 00:15:12,001 --> 00:15:13,902 You're going to the kingdom of Heaven. 410 00:15:14,005 --> 00:15:16,674 And there, you're going to join the souls 411 00:15:16,776 --> 00:15:18,077 of some of our greats, 412 00:15:18,179 --> 00:15:20,649 like Joan of Arc, Mother Theresa, 413 00:15:20,751 --> 00:15:22,886 Danny DeVito when he dies. 414 00:15:23,341 --> 00:15:24,523 Go. 415 00:15:24,717 --> 00:15:25,792 Yes. 416 00:15:29,835 --> 00:15:32,272 - Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. - What now? 417 00:15:32,274 --> 00:15:33,341 Well, I'm sorry. 418 00:15:33,409 --> 00:15:35,144 It just... It suddenly just got very real, 419 00:15:35,213 --> 00:15:36,847 and it does not feel right, 420 00:15:36,916 --> 00:15:38,084 and I don't know why, 421 00:15:38,186 --> 00:15:39,853 Grandpa, am I making too much of this? I... 422 00:15:39,956 --> 00:15:42,592 Don't ask him because he doesn't even believe in God. 423 00:15:42,661 --> 00:15:43,728 I just don't think 424 00:15:43,796 --> 00:15:46,066 you need church, costumes, all that stuff 425 00:15:46,168 --> 00:15:47,669 to feel a higher power. 426 00:15:48,501 --> 00:15:49,873 But you think there is one? 427 00:15:49,976 --> 00:15:51,776 Yeah, I felt it when my kids were born, 428 00:15:51,879 --> 00:15:53,647 and, um, when I met this crazy woman here 429 00:15:53,749 --> 00:15:55,718 that I want to spend the rest of my life with, 430 00:15:55,820 --> 00:15:58,090 but, you know, it can be just a normal everyday thing, too. 431 00:15:58,158 --> 00:15:59,559 You know, like the way it makes me feel 432 00:15:59,628 --> 00:16:01,830 when I hear a baseball thump into a mitt 433 00:16:01,933 --> 00:16:03,935 or the way Tom Waits' voice 434 00:16:04,004 --> 00:16:07,742 can somehow be ugly and beautiful at the same time. 435 00:16:07,810 --> 00:16:09,112 Am I making any sense? 436 00:16:09,846 --> 00:16:10,881 You know, last year, 437 00:16:10,883 --> 00:16:12,551 Dylan and I went to Yosemite, 438 00:16:12,653 --> 00:16:14,856 and we woke up really early one morning, 439 00:16:14,959 --> 00:16:17,628 and it was just us and those gorgeous mountains, 440 00:16:17,730 --> 00:16:21,035 a bunch of huge trees, and a family of deer. 441 00:16:21,973 --> 00:16:23,540 It was so beautiful, 442 00:16:23,609 --> 00:16:26,079 and it made me feel like I was connected 443 00:16:26,181 --> 00:16:28,450 to something bigger than myself. 444 00:16:28,885 --> 00:16:30,086 You know what, maybe one day 445 00:16:30,188 --> 00:16:31,689 we can get them baptized in a church, 446 00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:33,192 but for now, 447 00:16:33,261 --> 00:16:35,630 why don't we take them up to Yosemite 448 00:16:35,732 --> 00:16:38,503 and look up and say thank you? 449 00:16:39,955 --> 00:16:42,110 That sounds like a great plan, Haley. 450 00:16:42,497 --> 00:16:45,350 Yeah. And maybe roast some marshmallows while you're there 451 00:16:45,452 --> 00:16:48,189 so that they get used to being around fire. 452 00:16:48,488 --> 00:16:50,623 No, Nick, you can't keep taking money from marketing. 453 00:16:50,725 --> 00:16:51,792 They need... 454 00:16:51,894 --> 00:16:52,929 What? 455 00:16:52,997 --> 00:16:54,498 No, I will not stay on the phone 456 00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:56,035 while you moon a cruise ship. 457 00:16:56,037 --> 00:16:57,103 Are you... 458 00:16:57,105 --> 00:16:58,039 - Claire? - Hang on. 459 00:16:58,107 --> 00:17:00,076 Claire. What was that out there? 460 00:17:00,145 --> 00:17:02,080 I thought we were supposed to be on the same team. 461 00:17:02,082 --> 00:17:03,449 We are. I... 462 00:17:03,518 --> 00:17:04,618 They've got a great idea. 463 00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:07,290 You're just jealous because Luke went to Scooter and not to you. 464 00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:08,927 That is not true. 465 00:17:09,029 --> 00:17:10,530 Really? You don't think they're on to something? 466 00:17:10,632 --> 00:17:12,133 - It's an amazing idea. - Okay. 467 00:17:12,235 --> 00:17:14,571 But why didn't he come to me? 468 00:17:14,673 --> 00:17:17,343 Because you love everything I do. 469 00:17:17,362 --> 00:17:19,564 I wanted to make sure this was actually a good idea. 470 00:17:19,666 --> 00:17:21,168 That is so smart. 471 00:17:21,236 --> 00:17:23,172 How is someone this handsome... 472 00:17:23,274 --> 00:17:25,609 Okay, this is what I'm talking about. 473 00:17:25,678 --> 00:17:28,449 I love inventing with you, but this is a business. 474 00:17:28,551 --> 00:17:30,553 And Scooter has a lot of experience. 475 00:17:30,655 --> 00:17:31,788 That doesn't take away from 476 00:17:31,890 --> 00:17:33,759 all of the things that we've made together. 477 00:17:33,777 --> 00:17:35,512 All of that stuff brought me here. 478 00:17:35,614 --> 00:17:38,452 - Really? - You can't spell FormFiller without Phil. 479 00:17:38,554 --> 00:17:40,122 But you know you can, right? 480 00:17:40,191 --> 00:17:41,858 The man's hurting. I'm throwing him a bone. 481 00:17:41,928 --> 00:17:43,672 I'm proud of you, Luke. 482 00:17:43,797 --> 00:17:46,067 Damn it, I'm proud of Scooter, too. 483 00:17:47,031 --> 00:17:48,071 Wow. 484 00:17:48,273 --> 00:17:50,742 You know, seeing your guys' pitch, 485 00:17:50,844 --> 00:17:54,683 and the... the passion, that sparkle in your eye, 486 00:17:54,752 --> 00:17:57,723 I... I don't remember the last time 487 00:17:57,825 --> 00:17:59,560 I saw you care about anything that much. 488 00:18:01,399 --> 00:18:02,866 I don't remember the last time I did. 489 00:18:02,936 --> 00:18:04,036 That's super hurtful. 490 00:18:04,138 --> 00:18:06,107 No, sweetie, I'm talking about work. 491 00:18:06,209 --> 00:18:08,812 I... Honestly, I used to get up in the morning, 492 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:11,317 and I couldn't wait to get to the office. 493 00:18:11,419 --> 00:18:13,221 And now I dread it. 494 00:18:13,946 --> 00:18:19,533 I do. I miss loving my job or even liking it. 495 00:18:19,569 --> 00:18:23,007 Now all I do is put out fires and manage complaints 496 00:18:23,076 --> 00:18:25,345 and... and lose sleep over stuff 497 00:18:25,447 --> 00:18:28,151 that really doesn't matter. 498 00:18:30,157 --> 00:18:32,025 Yeah. I think I'm... 499 00:18:32,127 --> 00:18:34,430 I think I'm gonna quit my job. 500 00:18:34,532 --> 00:18:35,632 Are you serious? 501 00:18:36,328 --> 00:18:37,402 Yeah. 502 00:18:37,504 --> 00:18:39,072 Is that... Is that crazy? 503 00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:42,512 Uh, no. No, not necessarily. 504 00:18:42,648 --> 00:18:44,249 I mean, crazy is sticking with something 505 00:18:44,301 --> 00:18:46,370 that's been making you miserable for months 506 00:18:46,472 --> 00:18:48,107 when there are so many companies out there 507 00:18:48,209 --> 00:18:50,178 who would want someone with your skills. 508 00:18:51,329 --> 00:18:52,730 Hey, Nick, you still there? 509 00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:55,221 I told my son this morning that he should never quit. 510 00:18:55,290 --> 00:18:57,092 Well, I was wrong. 511 00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:58,227 I'm out. 512 00:19:01,568 --> 00:19:03,437 Aah! That felt so good! 513 00:19:03,506 --> 00:19:05,207 It was so scary, but it was so good. 514 00:19:05,309 --> 00:19:07,145 I'm so proud of you, too! 515 00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:09,149 - Ohh! - Hear, hear! 516 00:19:09,251 --> 00:19:11,186 To our next adventure! 517 00:19:11,288 --> 00:19:13,557 Oh, I found this in the wine cellar. 518 00:19:13,659 --> 00:19:15,528 It's a basement, Margaret. 519 00:19:15,596 --> 00:19:16,830 No, no, close the gap! 520 00:19:16,899 --> 00:19:18,901 Ball, ball, ball, ball, ball! 521 00:19:19,004 --> 00:19:20,147 Oh! 522 00:19:21,542 --> 00:19:22,976 It was a nightmare. 523 00:19:23,078 --> 00:19:25,014 The biggest opportunity of my career, 524 00:19:25,116 --> 00:19:26,583 and I couldn't focus. 525 00:19:26,685 --> 00:19:28,988 I tried not to make any mockable movements. 526 00:19:30,105 --> 00:19:33,330 David Tashi was just operating at too high a level. 527 00:19:33,432 --> 00:19:35,367 But then something wonderful happened. 528 00:19:39,744 --> 00:19:41,646 Oh. You hurt me. 529 00:19:42,952 --> 00:19:45,187 That's when I realized I knew that chicken... 530 00:19:45,289 --> 00:19:46,389 Those weak punches, 531 00:19:46,491 --> 00:19:48,928 a run that said "Pick me last" in gym class. 532 00:19:49,030 --> 00:19:50,297 It was my Mitchell. 533 00:19:50,399 --> 00:19:52,602 Okay, guys, come on! Let's huddle up. Huddle up. 534 00:19:52,704 --> 00:19:53,737 Let's get out there and play our hearts out. 535 00:19:53,839 --> 00:19:55,774 Let's go, let's go! Bring it in! 536 00:19:56,106 --> 00:19:57,111 Pitkowski, come on. 537 00:19:57,113 --> 00:19:58,580 Something more interesting going on over there? 538 00:19:58,682 --> 00:19:59,692 Yeah, does anybody else 539 00:19:59,751 --> 00:20:01,686 see the dolphin fighting the chicken? 540 00:20:01,788 --> 00:20:03,490 'Cause I got hit pretty hard in the head earlier. 541 00:20:04,594 --> 00:20:05,661 All right, let's go. 542 00:20:05,763 --> 00:20:06,998 All right, so this is what we're gonna do. 543 00:20:07,100 --> 00:20:09,202 We're gonna go up, right, you're gonna be cutting... 544 00:20:14,499 --> 00:20:15,591 Where's Daddy? 545 00:20:15,663 --> 00:20:17,265 He went to go return the chicken costume. 546 00:20:17,367 --> 00:20:19,402 That was like two hours ago. 547 00:20:19,504 --> 00:20:21,106 You don't think... 548 00:20:21,575 --> 00:20:23,477 Okay, Mitchell? 549 00:20:23,579 --> 00:20:25,180 Is that you in the mascot costume? 550 00:20:27,787 --> 00:20:29,756 Is someone forcing you to do that? 551 00:20:30,393 --> 00:20:32,528 Okay, then get in the car now. 552 00:20:32,630 --> 00:20:33,730 I stayed in California. 553 00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:35,334 I married outside of my religion. 554 00:20:35,403 --> 00:20:38,173 I spend every waking moment with your family. 555 00:20:38,275 --> 00:20:40,516 But my love is not unconditional. 556 00:20:42,595 --> 00:20:43,695 O-Okay. 557 00:20:43,797 --> 00:20:45,632 Alright. 558 00:20:45,734 --> 00:20:48,204 I love it when they honk for me. 559 00:20:51,271 --> 00:20:53,314 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com