1
00:00:02,284 --> 00:00:04,898
Okay, we still need wine,
cheese, flowers...

2
00:00:04,906 --> 00:00:06,238
Oh, we have to stop by the bakery.

3
00:00:06,242 --> 00:00:07,709
Yeah, and we need a hostess gift

4
00:00:07,778 --> 00:00:09,513
for Longinus' Friendsgiving party.

5
00:00:09,615 --> 00:00:11,817
You know, she does not look
kindly on an empty-handed guest.

6
00:00:12,295 --> 00:00:13,654
- It's too much.
- I know.

7
00:00:13,756 --> 00:00:15,258
But what do you expect from
somebody who changed their name

8
00:00:15,327 --> 00:00:17,529
from Larry Jones to
Longinus St. Germaine?

9
00:00:17,598 --> 00:00:19,132
No, I mean this list.

10
00:00:19,201 --> 00:00:20,635
Okay, we're only making it
to my dad's by 4:00

11
00:00:20,704 --> 00:00:22,772
if we blow off the hostess
formerly known as Larry.

12
00:00:22,841 --> 00:00:24,977
No! His party's my favorite
thing about Thanksgiving!

13
00:00:25,045 --> 00:00:26,079
Like, when we all go around the table

14
00:00:26,182 --> 00:00:28,550
and say one thing we're thankful
for not wearing this year.

15
00:00:28,569 --> 00:00:30,036
No. No, I'm sorry. Sorry.

16
00:00:30,072 --> 00:00:32,308
Even skipping the party,
we're barely gonna make it in time.

17
00:00:32,377 --> 00:00:34,512
Alright. Here. Let's divvy these up
and meet back here.

18
00:00:34,614 --> 00:00:35,648
Okay, fine.

19
00:00:35,650 --> 00:00:37,118
Um...

20
00:00:37,220 --> 00:00:38,721
- Oh, hi, Mitch!
- Oh! Hi, Ronaldo.

21
00:00:38,789 --> 00:00:40,858
What... Let me guess.
Those are for Longinus?

22
00:00:40,927 --> 00:00:43,630
Oh, I would never get something
this shabby for that judgy queen.

23
00:00:43,699 --> 00:00:45,801
- No, my mom is in the hospital.
- Oh, my God.

24
00:00:45,870 --> 00:00:47,304
Will I see you guys at the party?

25
00:00:47,373 --> 00:00:48,573
Oh, unfortunately no.

26
00:00:48,642 --> 00:00:50,711
Uh, this day has turned into
something of a nightmare.

27
00:00:50,813 --> 00:00:51,880
Oh. Where's Cam?

28
00:00:52,082 --> 00:00:53,116
We just split up.

29
00:00:53,118 --> 00:00:54,418
We just needed so many different things,

30
00:00:54,521 --> 00:00:55,587
it was easier to separate.

31
00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:57,090
So, anyway, happy Thanksgiving.

32
00:00:57,159 --> 00:00:58,493
Tell everyone I said hi.

33
00:01:01,801 --> 00:01:03,370
Super sad news.

34
00:01:03,472 --> 00:01:05,207
Guess who just broke up.

35
00:01:05,716 --> 00:01:07,444
Hint... you owe me 50 bucks.

36
00:01:22,343 --> 00:01:23,877
Luke, stop eating all the marshmallows.

37
00:01:23,979 --> 00:01:25,447
Those yams need all the
help that they can get.

38
00:01:25,549 --> 00:01:27,184
Alex, how's the stuffing?

39
00:01:27,286 --> 00:01:28,953
You tell me.

40
00:01:29,055 --> 00:01:31,259
Why do we even have this stupid holiday?

41
00:01:31,361 --> 00:01:33,530
Mom and Dad have been incredible...

42
00:01:33,632 --> 00:01:35,801
letting me, Dylan,
and the twins live with them,

43
00:01:35,903 --> 00:01:38,840
helping with midnight feedings,
bedtime stories.

44
00:01:38,942 --> 00:01:41,345
Dylan loves it when my
dad does the voices.

45
00:01:41,447 --> 00:01:42,981
So, I'm giving my mom a break

46
00:01:43,083 --> 00:01:44,318
from cooking Thanksgiving dinner.

47
00:01:44,420 --> 00:01:45,620
I wanted to do something special

48
00:01:45,722 --> 00:01:48,359
to thank them for being there for me.

49
00:01:48,461 --> 00:01:51,232
I'm sorry. I've just, um...

50
00:01:51,334 --> 00:01:54,271
I've become such a beautiful person.

51
00:01:55,776 --> 00:01:57,244
Happy Thanksgiving, Jay.

52
00:01:57,346 --> 00:01:59,215
Oh, I can slide over if you
want to watch this with me.

53
00:01:59,317 --> 00:02:02,387
Nah. I never saw the point
of a parade without tanks.

54
00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:03,957
I'm gonna take the plane out for a spin.

55
00:02:04,059 --> 00:02:05,126
You want to come with?

56
00:02:05,229 --> 00:02:06,462
Me?

57
00:02:06,564 --> 00:02:09,201
Go... fly?

58
00:02:09,303 --> 00:02:11,806
I played it cool,
but I was pretty jazzed.

59
00:02:13,545 --> 00:02:15,413
It's been 10 years since Jay asked me

60
00:02:15,515 --> 00:02:19,488
to go model-plane flying with him,
and I was, uh...

61
00:02:19,590 --> 00:02:21,292
I was eager to replace that memory

62
00:02:21,394 --> 00:02:23,563
with a... a be... a better one.

63
00:02:23,665 --> 00:02:25,901
Okay, let's do it!

64
00:02:25,993 --> 00:02:27,003
Whoo!

65
00:02:34,117 --> 00:02:35,153
Where are you guys going?

66
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,722
Oh, nowhere special.

67
00:02:36,824 --> 00:02:39,361
Let's just say that Jay's asked
me to join his mile high club.

68
00:02:39,463 --> 00:02:40,497
Let's not say that.

69
00:02:40,499 --> 00:02:41,499
Cool!

70
00:02:41,501 --> 00:02:42,868
You know, years ago, I almost joined

71
00:02:42,970 --> 00:02:45,674
the female-dominated world
of flight attendants.

72
00:02:45,776 --> 00:02:47,744
My fellow nurses still
needle me about it.

73
00:02:48,632 --> 00:02:49,681
Can I come?

74
00:02:49,684 --> 00:02:50,817
Uh, actually,
Jay's pretty particular about...

75
00:02:50,919 --> 00:02:52,554
Sure, why not?

76
00:02:52,656 --> 00:02:54,090
Looks like we're having a threesome!

77
00:02:54,193 --> 00:02:55,927
You're embarrassing yourself.

78
00:02:58,435 --> 00:03:00,570
The turkey is still
frozen in the middle!

79
00:03:00,672 --> 00:03:02,908
Hot on the outside,
cold on the inside...

80
00:03:03,010 --> 00:03:04,678
reminds me of a certain someone.

81
00:03:04,780 --> 00:03:06,615
- Please don't ask.
- Sure.

82
00:03:06,718 --> 00:03:08,252
Ugh, this pie filling is so sour.

83
00:03:08,617 --> 00:03:09,621
Yeah, it's devastating

84
00:03:09,724 --> 00:03:10,991
when you expect something to be sweet

85
00:03:11,093 --> 00:03:14,631
but ends up being intense
psychosexual torture.

86
00:03:14,734 --> 00:03:15,834
I don't want to talk about it.

87
00:03:15,936 --> 00:03:17,304
- Cool, cool.
- Don't worry.

88
00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:20,343
Luke's famous Jell-O mold is
here to save your sorry butts.

89
00:03:21,314 --> 00:03:22,647
Aah!

90
00:03:22,750 --> 00:03:25,085
I can't have the one
nice thing I've done

91
00:03:25,188 --> 00:03:26,455
for Mom and Dad be a disaster!

92
00:03:26,557 --> 00:03:28,593
Alex, um, call you please call
that chef that you're dating?

93
00:03:28,695 --> 00:03:30,296
That pompous weirdo?

94
00:03:30,399 --> 00:03:32,534
I purposely broke up with
him before the holidays.

95
00:03:32,636 --> 00:03:35,607
If I call him now, I will be
stuck with him until New Year's.

96
00:03:35,709 --> 00:03:36,776
There's a school of thought

97
00:03:36,878 --> 00:03:38,880
it can even stretch
out to Valentine's Day.

98
00:03:38,982 --> 00:03:40,583
Once you pass Thanksgiving,
it's the Wild West.

99
00:03:41,224 --> 00:03:43,456
Okay! Her name is Jessica.

100
00:03:43,558 --> 00:03:45,193
We met during a Santa Ana wind,

101
00:03:45,295 --> 00:03:46,896
and we all know what
Raymond Chandler said...

102
00:03:46,998 --> 00:03:48,132
So no need to repeat it.

103
00:03:48,234 --> 00:03:50,970
Alex, please.
How weird can your chef be?

104
00:03:52,142 --> 00:03:53,843
I don't know if it's 'cause he's a chef

105
00:03:53,945 --> 00:03:55,213
and they can be controlling,

106
00:03:55,315 --> 00:03:58,252
and I know there's lots of different
"love languages,"

107
00:03:58,354 --> 00:03:59,488
but...

108
00:03:59,590 --> 00:04:01,358
he puppets me.

109
00:04:02,381 --> 00:04:05,300
You want them to be super
thin and uniform, like this.

110
00:04:06,904 --> 00:04:08,873
You're tearing up from the onions.

111
00:04:11,314 --> 00:04:12,647
Mnh? Unh?

112
00:04:12,749 --> 00:04:13,916
And blow.

113
00:04:14,018 --> 00:04:15,720
You know, maybe I'll just go
to the bathroom and do this.

114
00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:17,390
Okay. Sure. Let's go.

115
00:04:20,866 --> 00:04:23,269
Oh, Joe! You're doing place cards?

116
00:04:23,371 --> 00:04:25,072
Doesn't Manny usually
take care of seating?

117
00:04:25,175 --> 00:04:26,976
He's "going through something."

118
00:04:27,078 --> 00:04:28,212
- Ah.
- I'm sure

119
00:04:28,314 --> 00:04:30,316
we'll hear a spoken word
about it soon enough.

120
00:04:30,418 --> 00:04:33,088
You really are turning into
a 4-foot version of my dad.

121
00:04:33,191 --> 00:04:34,224
Our dad.

122
00:04:34,326 --> 00:04:36,529
That will never not be weird.

123
00:04:37,466 --> 00:04:39,601
Gloria, you do laundry?

124
00:04:39,703 --> 00:04:42,207
Or are you hiding a pregnancy?

125
00:04:42,309 --> 00:04:43,776
No. The housekeeper quit.

126
00:04:43,878 --> 00:04:45,050
Ohh!

127
00:04:45,315 --> 00:04:49,755
I really love working for Phil
full-time for very little money,

128
00:04:49,857 --> 00:04:52,460
but I didn't realize how
hard it was going to be

129
00:04:52,563 --> 00:04:53,930
balancing everything.

130
00:04:54,032 --> 00:04:56,302
I know. That's why I love not working.

131
00:04:56,404 --> 00:04:59,141
Finally, enough time
to get everything done.

132
00:04:59,243 --> 00:05:00,543
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

133
00:05:00,645 --> 00:05:03,349
You don't miss facing new challenges,

134
00:05:03,451 --> 00:05:05,253
the fire of competition,

135
00:05:05,355 --> 00:05:07,924
that sense of accomplishment?

136
00:05:08,828 --> 00:05:09,928
No. No.

137
00:05:10,030 --> 00:05:12,667
I mean, of course,
I worried I was the type of person

138
00:05:12,769 --> 00:05:15,607
who needed to be busy all the time,
but it's like a drug...

139
00:05:15,709 --> 00:05:18,246
After a couple of weeks of withdrawal,

140
00:05:18,348 --> 00:05:21,385
I am finally comfortable doing nothing.

141
00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:22,988
Hmm.

142
00:05:29,975 --> 00:05:31,080
Oh, what kind of pie did you get,

143
00:05:31,169 --> 00:05:33,070
pun'kin, pee-can, sweet pataytuh?

144
00:05:33,140 --> 00:05:34,340
Flourless chocolate cake.

145
00:05:34,409 --> 00:05:35,742
Let's see you try and country that up.

146
00:05:36,041 --> 00:05:37,112
Oh. My phone's in my pocket.

147
00:05:37,214 --> 00:05:38,481
Here, would you grab it? I can't get it.

148
00:05:38,550 --> 00:05:39,784
Yep. Alright.

149
00:05:39,852 --> 00:05:41,721
- Who is it?
- Oh, it's from Jotham.

150
00:05:41,790 --> 00:05:44,393
"Just heard. I'm so sorry.
How are you doing?"

151
00:05:44,462 --> 00:05:46,063
- What's that about?
- I have no idea.

152
00:05:46,283 --> 00:05:47,332
Oh, L'Michael.

153
00:05:47,401 --> 00:05:48,801
"Sending all my love, Camembert.

154
00:05:48,870 --> 00:05:49,880
- Call me."
- What?

155
00:05:50,743 --> 00:05:51,674
Artemis.

156
00:05:51,692 --> 00:05:53,761
"Ronaldo told me about you and Mitchell.

157
00:05:53,830 --> 00:05:55,732
"Broken-heart emoji, tear emoji,

158
00:05:55,834 --> 00:05:57,335
Tammy Faye Bakker crying GIF."

159
00:05:57,404 --> 00:05:59,106
What did Ronaldo tell him?

160
00:05:59,175 --> 00:06:02,758
No clue. I-I just saw him here,
and he asked where you were,

161
00:06:02,793 --> 00:06:04,683
and I told him that we
split up to shop and that...

162
00:06:05,253 --> 00:06:07,121
Oh, my God.
He thinks we actually split up.

163
00:06:07,223 --> 00:06:09,192
Oh, and it's gone viral.

164
00:06:09,261 --> 00:06:11,196
Well, there are two things
a gay can't sit on...

165
00:06:11,265 --> 00:06:13,534
a plastic patio chair and
a juicy bit of gossip.

166
00:06:13,602 --> 00:06:14,903
Well, it's nice to see

167
00:06:14,971 --> 00:06:16,598
how supportive our friends are being.

168
00:06:16,633 --> 00:06:19,212
Yeah. It's nice how quickly
they reached out to...

169
00:06:19,264 --> 00:06:20,270
to you.

170
00:06:20,299 --> 00:06:21,533
I got nothing.

171
00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:23,570
It's like it's mocking me.

172
00:06:23,639 --> 00:06:25,755
I-I'm sure the texts were
meant for both of us.

173
00:06:25,790 --> 00:06:27,010
That's not how it works, okay?

174
00:06:27,078 --> 00:06:28,526
They're not thanking us for brunch.

175
00:06:28,561 --> 00:06:29,715
We're getting a divorce!

176
00:06:29,817 --> 00:06:31,385
Why is no one calling me?

177
00:06:31,454 --> 00:06:32,988
Well, maybe because
they think you're the...

178
00:06:33,090 --> 00:06:34,758
the stronger, less emotional one.

179
00:06:34,827 --> 00:06:36,798
That's crazy. Just because I'm strong

180
00:06:36,833 --> 00:06:38,433
doesn't mean I don't need my
friends at a time like this!

181
00:06:38,535 --> 00:06:39,635
A time like what?

182
00:06:39,670 --> 00:06:42,340
Y-You realizing this isn't
actually happening, right?

183
00:06:42,342 --> 00:06:43,576
Oh, come on. If the shoe

184
00:06:43,611 --> 00:06:45,413
was on the other foot,
you would be freaking out.

185
00:06:45,482 --> 00:06:47,317
Yes... which is why
I'm getting all the texts.

186
00:06:47,386 --> 00:06:48,953
Okay, well, here.

187
00:06:49,022 --> 00:06:50,790
Ohh, from Steven and Stefan in Capri.

188
00:06:50,859 --> 00:06:53,529
Oh. Text back, uh, "Do not fly home.

189
00:06:53,598 --> 00:06:54,604
I'm doing okay."

190
00:06:54,633 --> 00:06:57,303
I thought this wasn't really happening!

191
00:07:00,103 --> 00:07:02,714
Barrel roll into an S-turn...

192
00:07:03,384 --> 00:07:05,552
and a little thing I
call Pritchett-Switch-It.

193
00:07:06,623 --> 00:07:07,990
That just looks like a right-hand turn.

194
00:07:08,059 --> 00:07:09,494
It would to an amateur.

195
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:10,963
You're an artist, Jay.

196
00:07:11,032 --> 00:07:12,133
The sky's your canvas.

197
00:07:12,201 --> 00:07:13,235
Oh, should we do the hoop?

198
00:07:13,337 --> 00:07:14,470
Great idea.

199
00:07:14,539 --> 00:07:17,510
Hey, champ, take this out to the middle
of the field and hold it up.

200
00:07:17,578 --> 00:07:18,779
Awesome!

201
00:07:20,701 --> 00:07:21,801
Guess it's "champ's" turn.

202
00:07:21,870 --> 00:07:24,507
Are... Are we sure champ doesn't need
to see how it's done properly first?

203
00:07:24,575 --> 00:07:25,842
I mean, it's not just standing there.

204
00:07:25,944 --> 00:07:27,713
Dylan, just stand there!

205
00:07:33,893 --> 00:07:34,900
Yes!

206
00:07:34,929 --> 00:07:37,299
What a wonderful shared experience!

207
00:07:37,401 --> 00:07:38,601
Now, stay out there.

208
00:07:38,703 --> 00:07:39,937
We'll do it again.

209
00:07:40,506 --> 00:07:42,675
Kid's a natural. He didn't even flinch.

210
00:07:42,744 --> 00:07:45,648
Bravery or a sluggish brain...
guess we'll never know.

211
00:07:47,052 --> 00:07:48,120
Sorry.

212
00:07:48,189 --> 00:07:49,556
Just, uh, I'm... I'm a little annoyed

213
00:07:49,624 --> 00:07:52,729
that Dylan's horning in on our thing.

214
00:07:52,797 --> 00:07:54,466
Hey, you know what,
my hands are cramping up.

215
00:07:54,568 --> 00:07:55,601
You want to take over for me here?

216
00:07:55,660 --> 00:07:56,663
- Really?
- Yeah.

217
00:07:56,672 --> 00:07:57,805
Thanks.

218
00:07:57,874 --> 00:08:00,211
Listen, I-is it possible
that you're angry at Dylan

219
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,080
for something more than today?

220
00:08:02,150 --> 00:08:04,319
Well, he did take
the last waffle this morning.

221
00:08:04,421 --> 00:08:07,858
I think it's more about...
he took your firstborn.

222
00:08:07,927 --> 00:08:10,029
Now, I've been there.
It's only natural, you know.

223
00:08:10,098 --> 00:08:13,603
Us dads, we're very protective
of our daughters, but, uh...

224
00:08:13,672 --> 00:08:15,674
In fact, you may get
a very strong impulse

225
00:08:15,776 --> 00:08:17,144
to fly that plane right into the guy,

226
00:08:17,246 --> 00:08:18,346
but don't do it.

227
00:08:18,348 --> 00:08:20,150
What? I-I would...
I would never hurt Dylan.

228
00:08:20,218 --> 00:08:21,786
Why would you even think
I'd have that impulse?

229
00:08:21,854 --> 00:08:23,523
I don't know. I thought...

230
00:08:23,625 --> 00:08:25,092
you know, the way
you were looking at him...

231
00:08:25,195 --> 00:08:26,462
Wait.

232
00:08:26,531 --> 00:08:28,466
Is that what you were
thinking 10 years ago?

233
00:08:28,568 --> 00:08:30,737
A-All this time,
I thought it was my fault!

234
00:08:30,806 --> 00:08:32,541
I-I moved my head at the last second.

235
00:08:32,609 --> 00:08:34,277
But you hit me on purpose!

236
00:08:34,296 --> 00:08:35,830
Don't be ridiculous! I just...

237
00:08:35,899 --> 00:08:37,267
You just what, Jay?

238
00:08:37,336 --> 00:08:39,604
Thought it'd be fun to
fly a plane into my face?

239
00:08:39,673 --> 00:08:41,942
What kind of monster does
that to another human be...

240
00:08:45,151 --> 00:08:47,420
Aw, no.

241
00:08:51,663 --> 00:08:52,997
Look at this.

242
00:08:56,473 --> 00:08:58,208
Okay, I think it's good for now.

243
00:08:58,310 --> 00:09:00,646
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You need to enjoy your "me" time.

244
00:09:00,748 --> 00:09:04,854
Yeah. Yesterday,
I had three open houses.

245
00:09:04,872 --> 00:09:06,741
I was running around all day,

246
00:09:06,810 --> 00:09:08,645
solving problems, creating value...

247
00:09:08,747 --> 00:09:11,198
Ay, it was exhausting.

248
00:09:11,233 --> 00:09:12,586
Yeah. Don't miss that.

249
00:09:12,688 --> 00:09:13,748
Mm-hmm.

250
00:09:14,259 --> 00:09:17,363
- Oh, and one of the houses was filthy!
- Oh.

251
00:09:17,431 --> 00:09:19,533
All the windows needed to be washed.

252
00:09:19,636 --> 00:09:20,702
- Oh.
- Euggh!

253
00:09:20,804 --> 00:09:22,506
But I am one to talk.

254
00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:32,876
Follow my instructions,
and we can save this meal.

255
00:09:32,945 --> 00:09:34,179
- Who are you?
- Manny.

256
00:09:34,281 --> 00:09:37,017
Wrong. In this kitchen,
you don't have a name. Stir.

257
00:09:37,019 --> 00:09:38,086
Well, this is a fun energy.

258
00:09:38,189 --> 00:09:39,389
Do you happen to have a cousin

259
00:09:39,458 --> 00:09:41,360
partial to Western skirts
and terrifying mood swings?

260
00:09:41,428 --> 00:09:42,829
We need him. Just do it.

261
00:09:42,931 --> 00:09:44,399
Those carrots are a mess.

262
00:09:44,468 --> 00:09:46,436
- It's like this.
- Wait, what...

263
00:09:46,438 --> 00:09:47,445
Oh, man.

264
00:09:47,474 --> 00:09:48,574
You really know what you want.

265
00:09:48,643 --> 00:09:49,709
I feel so safe.

266
00:09:51,215 --> 00:09:52,382
That needs more salt.

267
00:09:52,484 --> 00:09:53,517
That needs more cream.

268
00:09:53,619 --> 00:09:56,055
And, Alex,
I have a soufflé in that oven

269
00:09:56,158 --> 00:09:57,458
valiantly trying to rise.

270
00:09:57,527 --> 00:09:59,562
Would you mind not
pounding those walnuts

271
00:09:59,631 --> 00:10:02,268
like you're Quasimodo
just going at his bell?

272
00:10:02,336 --> 00:10:04,439
You know what, Neil? I don't know how...

273
00:10:04,541 --> 00:10:06,109
Are these too hot?

274
00:10:09,884 --> 00:10:12,254
Claire? Why are you washing our windows?

275
00:10:12,356 --> 00:10:13,423
I don't know.

276
00:10:13,458 --> 00:10:16,462
They were really dirty,
and your mom found a pole.

277
00:10:16,531 --> 00:10:18,133
You know, funny coincidence...

278
00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:20,035
last week, I was offered the top job

279
00:10:20,105 --> 00:10:21,372
at a company that makes poles.

280
00:10:21,859 --> 00:10:23,443
Yeah, I'm going through something, too.

281
00:10:23,545 --> 00:10:25,380
Anyway, I turned the job down,

282
00:10:25,482 --> 00:10:27,450
but I think I'm reconsidering it.

283
00:10:27,519 --> 00:10:28,986
Her name is Jessica.

284
00:10:29,055 --> 00:10:32,059
I know that poles aren't
as sexy as closets.

285
00:10:32,129 --> 00:10:34,598
But people really seem to like them,

286
00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:37,203
and they are famously recession-proof.

287
00:10:37,272 --> 00:10:39,006
Oh, God.
I think I made a terrible mistake.

288
00:10:39,075 --> 00:10:41,579
I got to call those people and
get that job before it goes away.

289
00:10:41,647 --> 00:10:42,681
Because...

290
00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:44,083
Don't do it, Claire! It's beneath you!

291
00:10:44,186 --> 00:10:46,188
Whoa! Manny, show some respect!

292
00:10:46,207 --> 00:10:47,373
If it weren't for poles,

293
00:10:47,442 --> 00:10:49,076
you would be pledging
allegiance to a floor mat!

294
00:10:49,146 --> 00:10:50,379
- Now, give me my phone!
- No!

295
00:10:50,448 --> 00:10:52,250
You can't take a job on the rebound.

296
00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:53,619
It'll feel good for a minute,

297
00:10:53,688 --> 00:10:57,193
but then you're plummeting down
a K-hole of paranoia and regret.

298
00:10:57,262 --> 00:10:59,930
Huh. How was your week?

299
00:10:59,999 --> 00:11:02,569
Fine. I'll tell you why
I'm wearing a turtleneck.

300
00:11:02,638 --> 00:11:03,872
After Sherry dumped me,

301
00:11:03,940 --> 00:11:05,809
I dated the first girl
who would have me...

302
00:11:05,878 --> 00:11:09,116
ironically, the leading
rebounder on our basketball team.

303
00:11:09,185 --> 00:11:10,952
That's where she hit me
with her mouth guard.

304
00:11:11,021 --> 00:11:12,189
I've tried to leave her,

305
00:11:12,258 --> 00:11:14,560
but she just palms my head,
and I run in place.

306
00:11:14,629 --> 00:11:16,397
Well, I'm sorry this is happening
to you, Manny,

307
00:11:16,499 --> 00:11:17,733
but what does this have to do with...

308
00:11:17,802 --> 00:11:19,970
She's the pole company, Claire.

309
00:11:20,340 --> 00:11:21,440
Learn from my mistake...

310
00:11:21,542 --> 00:11:23,478
unless you want a
compromising Polaroid of you

311
00:11:23,513 --> 00:11:25,582
hung up very high in
the women's locker room.

312
00:11:25,650 --> 00:11:27,552
I might need to borrow
that ladder later.

313
00:11:34,651 --> 00:11:36,353
- Claire!
- Hmm?

314
00:11:36,422 --> 00:11:38,357
Do you want to help me shop online later

315
00:11:38,459 --> 00:11:40,328
for some power suits?

316
00:11:40,396 --> 00:11:43,434
Oh, God, I miss
wearing comfortable clothes

317
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,104
all the time, like you do.

318
00:11:45,173 --> 00:11:47,007
Yep. It sounds like a lot of fun.

319
00:11:47,110 --> 00:11:48,210
I...

320
00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:50,107
What am I doing?

321
00:11:50,115 --> 00:11:52,184
A terrific job. Keep going!

322
00:11:52,286 --> 00:11:53,319
N-No!

323
00:11:53,322 --> 00:11:55,557
I have been sweating
ever since I got here.

324
00:11:55,626 --> 00:11:58,830
Did you trick me into
doing your housework?

325
00:11:58,932 --> 00:11:59,965
No.

326
00:12:04,610 --> 00:12:06,011
Unh-unh! That phone did not ring!

327
00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:08,216
You're walking away because
you know you're guilty!

328
00:12:08,285 --> 00:12:10,921
And take those shoes off!
I just did the floors!

329
00:12:11,458 --> 00:12:14,795
My friends' reaction to our
"divorce" really bothered me.

330
00:12:14,897 --> 00:12:16,699
So I made an excuse to Cam

331
00:12:16,768 --> 00:12:18,903
and went over to Longinus' party.

332
00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:20,273
I wanted the friends to know

333
00:12:20,375 --> 00:12:23,312
that I am just as
emotionally needy as Cam!

334
00:12:27,989 --> 00:12:29,291
Hey, girl, hey!

335
00:12:29,393 --> 00:12:30,459
I can't believe you came.

336
00:12:30,562 --> 00:12:31,568
Oh, my God. How's Cam?

337
00:12:31,597 --> 00:12:32,664
Yes, how is he?

338
00:12:32,666 --> 00:12:34,301
Cam's fine. He's fine.

339
00:12:34,369 --> 00:12:36,872
It was just a big misunderstanding.
We're not getting a divorce.

340
00:12:39,580 --> 00:12:40,746
Well, girl, come on in.

341
00:12:40,815 --> 00:12:42,250
Let's get you two drinks...

342
00:12:42,319 --> 00:12:44,554
one for each empty hand you
showed up to the party with.

343
00:12:44,976 --> 00:12:46,692
Well, I-I could use it.

344
00:12:46,794 --> 00:12:49,864
I mean, even though it's...
it's not true about the divorce,

345
00:12:49,967 --> 00:12:52,068
it could be... you know, someday.

346
00:12:52,138 --> 00:12:54,707
And that just...
that just makes me so, so...

347
00:12:56,380 --> 00:12:57,446
Confused?

348
00:12:57,448 --> 00:12:59,250
Angry? Furious.

349
00:12:59,319 --> 00:13:00,352
"The Fast and the Furious"!

350
00:13:00,354 --> 00:13:01,364
Okay, this isn't charades.

351
00:13:01,446 --> 00:13:02,456
I'm sad.

352
00:13:02,458 --> 00:13:04,160
- That's your sad?
- Yes.

353
00:13:04,502 --> 00:13:05,512
That's your sad?

354
00:13:05,514 --> 00:13:06,647
Yeah.

355
00:13:06,749 --> 00:13:08,985
And I-I really need
your support right now.

356
00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:12,593
Wait, something new is happening.

357
00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:18,471
Oh, my God! How can you not see
how emotionally raw I am right now?

358
00:13:18,573 --> 00:13:19,673
Huh?

359
00:13:19,775 --> 00:13:21,344
Nothing lasts forever.

360
00:13:21,446 --> 00:13:22,846
What happens when it's over?

361
00:13:22,948 --> 00:13:24,984
Poor Cam. He is so fragile.

362
00:13:25,086 --> 00:13:26,187
He's gonna need us.

363
00:13:26,289 --> 00:13:27,556
We'll be there for him.

364
00:13:27,658 --> 00:13:29,894
Who will be there to dry these tears?

365
00:13:31,499 --> 00:13:32,533
What tears?

366
00:13:33,059 --> 00:13:34,537
Where they at?

367
00:13:38,014 --> 00:13:39,449
Ay, no, not again!

368
00:13:39,518 --> 00:13:41,854
It wasn't me this time.
He did it to himself.

369
00:13:41,922 --> 00:13:43,224
Unlike last time,

370
00:13:43,292 --> 00:13:46,028
when you purposely flew
that plane into my face.

371
00:13:46,132 --> 00:13:47,298
You're a monster, Jay.

372
00:13:47,401 --> 00:13:48,768
Who are you calling a monster?

373
00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:50,705
Um, he just said... Jay.

374
00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:54,179
This isn't worth it!
Why do I do anything with people?

375
00:13:54,281 --> 00:13:56,150
I'm pretty sure you
don't have a concussion,

376
00:13:56,218 --> 00:13:57,919
but I'm gonna stay here just in case,

377
00:13:57,988 --> 00:13:59,456
so you don't fall asleep.

378
00:14:00,494 --> 00:14:02,762
Gloria, should you go get Mrs. D?

379
00:14:02,830 --> 00:14:04,899
Oh, yeah, sure.
I'll see if I can find her.

380
00:14:07,173 --> 00:14:09,375
Claire?

381
00:14:13,084 --> 00:14:14,485
Oh, hey. Seen Cam?

382
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:16,789
And a Happy Thanksgiving to you.

383
00:14:16,858 --> 00:14:18,893
Oh, that's a lot of attitude.
You sound like my dad.

384
00:14:18,995 --> 00:14:20,062
Our dad!

385
00:14:20,132 --> 00:14:21,666
- Uch.
- There you are.

386
00:14:21,768 --> 00:14:24,772
So, I just, uh,
got a text message from Longinus.

387
00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:27,277
Said you left your sunglasses
at his Friendsgiving party...

388
00:14:27,346 --> 00:14:30,048
the one you decreed we didn't
have enough time to go to.

389
00:14:30,118 --> 00:14:31,852
Mitchell, you owe me an apology.

390
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:34,191
I owe you an apology?

391
00:14:34,772 --> 00:14:36,729
I may not have brought a
gift to Longinus' party,

392
00:14:36,797 --> 00:14:38,733
but I sure left with one.

393
00:14:39,352 --> 00:14:42,590
It's like he's never
seen someone cry before.

394
00:14:42,659 --> 00:14:43,959
Just think of something sad.

395
00:14:44,061 --> 00:14:45,796
Like when a pet died,

396
00:14:45,865 --> 00:14:48,302
or when L'Michael was a seat
filler at the Golden Globes

397
00:14:48,404 --> 00:14:50,306
and got to sit next to Nicole Kidman.

398
00:14:50,408 --> 00:14:51,508
Why him?

399
00:14:52,645 --> 00:14:54,747
Ptolemy, you must get over that.

400
00:14:54,816 --> 00:14:57,286
Look, the only reason we
all rallied around Cam was,

401
00:14:57,388 --> 00:14:58,755
last time y'all broke up,

402
00:14:58,824 --> 00:15:00,960
he was shattered and you seemed fine.

403
00:15:02,581 --> 00:15:03,982
What last time?

404
00:15:05,554 --> 00:15:06,788
Apparently, years ago,

405
00:15:06,856 --> 00:15:09,627
Cam invented a breakup
that never really happened,

406
00:15:09,662 --> 00:15:12,299
just so he could gauge how
much support he could count on

407
00:15:12,401 --> 00:15:14,337
in the event of the real thing.

408
00:15:14,719 --> 00:15:15,722
Normal.

409
00:15:15,791 --> 00:15:17,959
It's my fault for loving him too much!

410
00:15:18,028 --> 00:15:19,363
- No! No!
- No! No!

411
00:15:19,432 --> 00:15:21,167
- You can do so much better.
- Don't do this to yourself.

412
00:15:21,269 --> 00:15:22,602
- Honey.
- Yes.

413
00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:24,707
You turned everyone against me!

414
00:15:25,414 --> 00:15:27,412
Because in a breakup,
friends choose a side,

415
00:15:27,481 --> 00:15:31,186
and I'm... I'm more fragile,
and I would need them more.

416
00:15:31,188 --> 00:15:33,056
I was just preparing for an emergency.

417
00:15:33,126 --> 00:15:35,728
I didn't yell at you when you
bought that, uh, earthquake kit.

418
00:15:35,797 --> 00:15:38,718
You told them I disappear
for days at a time.

419
00:15:38,753 --> 00:15:39,536
Which you wouldn't know about

420
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:41,773
had you not gone to the
party behind my back.

421
00:15:41,792 --> 00:15:43,394
Where's the trust, Mitchell?

422
00:15:46,201 --> 00:15:47,969
Looks like a good place
to hide from the drama.

423
00:15:48,038 --> 00:15:50,474
Dad, I am so mad at your wife right now.

424
00:15:50,543 --> 00:15:52,245
- I need a guest house.
- No, no, no.

425
00:15:52,514 --> 00:15:54,816
She... She has completely taken
advantage of my restlessness

426
00:15:54,885 --> 00:15:56,686
and basically turned me
into her housekeeper.

427
00:15:56,788 --> 00:15:58,423
How? By doing something the wrong way,

428
00:15:58,492 --> 00:16:00,327
knowing you'll jump in
and do it the right way?

429
00:16:00,796 --> 00:16:03,233
What's wrong with me?
Why can't I get these clean?

430
00:16:03,335 --> 00:16:04,435
Not gonna happen.

431
00:16:05,439 --> 00:16:07,006
I am partly to blame.

432
00:16:07,075 --> 00:16:11,115
I'm not good at doing nothing.

433
00:16:11,184 --> 00:16:13,987
How did they get fingerprints
on the inside of the glass?

434
00:16:14,089 --> 00:16:15,157
It's crazy.

435
00:16:15,159 --> 00:16:16,526
You know, I had a similar experience

436
00:16:16,628 --> 00:16:18,028
when I turned the company over to you.

437
00:16:18,097 --> 00:16:20,667
It wasn't the activity that I missed.

438
00:16:21,086 --> 00:16:22,287
I missed being the boss.

439
00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:24,358
Oh! Yeah. I hear you there.

440
00:16:24,460 --> 00:16:26,729
- Giving orders, people scared of you.
- Yeah.

441
00:16:26,831 --> 00:16:27,841
I like day drinking,

442
00:16:27,900 --> 00:16:29,601
but nothing beats
being drunk with power.

443
00:16:29,803 --> 00:16:33,576
Yeah. Do you know how many unfunny
jokes I told at the office?

444
00:16:33,645 --> 00:16:35,146
- None?
- Exactly.

445
00:16:35,238 --> 00:16:36,248
- Knock knock.
- "Ha ha ha ha!

446
00:16:36,250 --> 00:16:37,651
"Good one, boss! Ha ha ha ha!

447
00:16:37,719 --> 00:16:39,053
How do you keep coming up with them?"

448
00:16:39,156 --> 00:16:40,223
Spineless bootlickers.

449
00:16:40,325 --> 00:16:42,026
God, I miss them.

450
00:16:42,799 --> 00:16:43,896
How did you get over it?

451
00:16:43,965 --> 00:16:46,234
I didn't wait around for someone
to put me in charge again.

452
00:16:46,303 --> 00:16:47,971
I made my own opportunity.

453
00:16:48,073 --> 00:16:49,441
Dad, dog beds?

454
00:16:49,543 --> 00:16:51,144
Better than poles.

455
00:16:53,150 --> 00:16:54,918
Oh, yeah. I hear things.

456
00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:58,792
Alright.
Dylan is on twin duty,

457
00:16:58,894 --> 00:17:01,498
so I'm gonna make sure
you don't fall asleep.

458
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:04,002
I've been asleep for the last 10 years.

459
00:17:04,405 --> 00:17:05,439
Imagine finding out

460
00:17:05,541 --> 00:17:07,409
the plane crash you
were in was no accident.

461
00:17:07,478 --> 00:17:08,878
Well, you're not alone.

462
00:17:08,947 --> 00:17:10,182
Jay did something very similar to me

463
00:17:10,284 --> 00:17:11,618
when Mitchell and I first got together.

464
00:17:11,686 --> 00:17:14,022
He "accidentally"
bumped me with his car...

465
00:17:14,091 --> 00:17:16,093
a real car, not a... not a toy.

466
00:17:17,681 --> 00:17:18,748
I was pretty bruised up.

467
00:17:18,850 --> 00:17:20,352
I just... I just assumed it was because

468
00:17:20,420 --> 00:17:22,021
he didn't want his son with a boyfriend,

469
00:17:22,090 --> 00:17:24,360
but he thought Mitchell could do better.

470
00:17:24,428 --> 00:17:26,197
It was a-a bit of a shock.

471
00:17:26,299 --> 00:17:28,066
Uhp...

472
00:17:28,486 --> 00:17:30,188
But then, once I became a father,

473
00:17:30,257 --> 00:17:32,826
I realized how protective
you can be over your kid.

474
00:17:32,895 --> 00:17:35,063
There was a little boy on Lily's
soccer team always teasing her,

475
00:17:35,133 --> 00:17:36,600
so at the end-of-the-season party,

476
00:17:36,669 --> 00:17:39,239
I may have nudged him face-first

477
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,310
into a freshly fried funnel cake.

478
00:17:43,860 --> 00:17:47,188
It is possible that
I have more in common

479
00:17:47,257 --> 00:17:50,628
with dads like Jay than
I would like to admit.

480
00:17:52,233 --> 00:17:54,269
Sorry I ate the last waffle, Mr. D.

481
00:17:54,338 --> 00:17:56,005
I've been so hungry lately.

482
00:17:56,074 --> 00:17:57,175
Mm.

483
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:59,412
I wonder if that means
we're pregnant again.

484
00:18:02,161 --> 00:18:03,749
Oh, shoot!

485
00:18:03,784 --> 00:18:06,025
Shoot! Shoot, shoot, shoot.

486
00:18:07,497 --> 00:18:09,532
Ohhhhhh.

487
00:18:10,778 --> 00:18:12,371
Congratulations, Alex.

488
00:18:12,373 --> 00:18:14,575
A warren of starving rabbits
wouldn't eat these carrots.

489
00:18:14,644 --> 00:18:17,114
I'm starting to wonder if our
relationship should just be sexual.

490
00:18:17,133 --> 00:18:18,366
Okay, Neil, honestly...

491
00:18:18,435 --> 00:18:20,971
Hey, hey, hey, you lovebirds!
Time for that later.

492
00:18:21,073 --> 00:18:22,241
We got a meal to finish.

493
00:18:22,343 --> 00:18:25,380
Can somebody call FEMA?
This meringue is a disaster.

494
00:18:25,449 --> 00:18:26,582
I just did what you told me.

495
00:18:26,651 --> 00:18:28,520
Oh, really? I told you
to underbeat the egg whites?

496
00:18:28,622 --> 00:18:29,755
I really think...

497
00:18:29,857 --> 00:18:31,359
I think. You do.

498
00:18:31,461 --> 00:18:33,496
Oh, Neil. Are you done with Alex?

499
00:18:33,565 --> 00:18:36,469
'Cause I'm having trouble
slivering these almonds.

500
00:18:36,571 --> 00:18:37,771
Be one with me.

501
00:18:41,581 --> 00:18:44,651
Hey, Jay, um...

502
00:18:44,753 --> 00:18:46,922
I think I overreacted earlier.

503
00:18:47,024 --> 00:18:48,125
I want to apologize.

504
00:18:48,194 --> 00:18:49,227
Forget it.

505
00:18:50,265 --> 00:18:54,036
If I'm being honest,
maybe on some level...

506
00:18:54,106 --> 00:18:55,873
I really did want to
hit you with that plane.

507
00:18:57,245 --> 00:18:59,114
I'm sorry, Phil.

508
00:18:59,683 --> 00:19:00,783
Thank you.

509
00:19:01,262 --> 00:19:02,954
Maybe I, uh, understand better

510
00:19:03,022 --> 00:19:05,058
why a father might want
to protect a daughter.

511
00:19:05,128 --> 00:19:06,294
Or a son.

512
00:19:06,363 --> 00:19:09,167
I banged Cam up pretty good
before I gave him the nod.

513
00:19:09,269 --> 00:19:10,703
He never figured it out.

514
00:19:13,144 --> 00:19:16,144
I get the impulse.
I'm... I'm guilty of it myself.

515
00:19:16,179 --> 00:19:17,483
But there's got to be a
better way of handling anger

516
00:19:17,552 --> 00:19:18,819
than hurting someone, right?

517
00:19:20,758 --> 00:19:22,193
Disgusting!

518
00:19:22,361 --> 00:19:23,795
If this was the first Thanksgiving,

519
00:19:23,864 --> 00:19:25,265
your gravy would be the worst thing

520
00:19:25,367 --> 00:19:27,169
this country has done
to Native Americans!

521
00:19:27,271 --> 00:19:29,140
- Hey, buddy.
- Yeah?

522
00:19:30,344 --> 00:19:31,511
Ohh!

523
00:19:33,917 --> 00:19:35,017
Oops.

524
00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:36,921
What a senseless accident.

525
00:19:37,023 --> 00:19:38,992
What the hell?

526
00:19:39,495 --> 00:19:41,263
It's not the end of the world.

527
00:19:41,366 --> 00:19:43,334
Chefs don't need to smell things.

528
00:19:43,403 --> 00:19:45,905
You people are crazy.
I'm getting out of here.

529
00:19:46,008 --> 00:19:47,909
What a splendid idea.

530
00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:51,183
Enjoy the soufflé.

531
00:19:53,713 --> 00:19:54,723
You're the best.

532
00:19:54,792 --> 00:19:57,596
Whoa. What's going on?
Did I just hear the chef leave?

533
00:19:57,698 --> 00:19:59,900
It's hopeless.
I can't even tell what this was.

534
00:19:59,969 --> 00:20:02,757
Well, I'll see if there's a
restaurant that can take us.

535
00:20:02,970 --> 00:20:04,109
- I'm just going home.
- Yeah.

536
00:20:04,178 --> 00:20:05,745
No. No, no, no, no!
Whoa, whoa, whoa! No!

537
00:20:05,814 --> 00:20:07,615
No one is going anywhere.

538
00:20:07,668 --> 00:20:10,271
Listen, you know what?
We can salvage this Thanksgiving.

539
00:20:10,323 --> 00:20:11,890
Phil, you get the salad started.

540
00:20:11,992 --> 00:20:13,761
Luke, anything you don't need

541
00:20:13,863 --> 00:20:15,932
dental records to identify, save.

542
00:20:16,034 --> 00:20:19,439
Alex, that guy was an idiot.
Pick better boyfriends.

543
00:20:19,541 --> 00:20:22,111
I'm sorry, Mom.
I so wanted to do this for you.

544
00:20:22,213 --> 00:20:23,514
Oh, honey, no.

545
00:20:23,616 --> 00:20:25,451
You gave me the best gift ever.

546
00:20:25,553 --> 00:20:27,355
I'm bossing people around again!

547
00:20:30,095 --> 00:20:31,363
Look, I guess I just...

548
00:20:31,465 --> 00:20:34,903
I didn't think I would be able
to survive if you ever left me.

549
00:20:35,005 --> 00:20:36,373
And I still don't.

550
00:20:36,475 --> 00:20:37,709
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.

551
00:20:37,811 --> 00:20:40,147
And the party wasn't that fun.

552
00:20:40,249 --> 00:20:41,583
Something was missing.

553
00:20:41,685 --> 00:20:45,925
Oh, I love when you say things
without really saying them.

554
00:20:47,364 --> 00:20:49,098
You meant me, right?

555
00:20:50,134 --> 00:20:52,936
Um... um, "Man Without A Face."

556
00:20:53,038 --> 00:20:54,048
"The Mummy."

557
00:20:54,131 --> 00:20:55,141
"Coma"!

558
00:20:55,143 --> 00:20:56,644
"I, Robot"?

559
00:20:56,736 --> 00:20:57,746
"Frozen"?

560
00:20:58,202 --> 00:20:59,617
"The Crying Game"!

561
00:20:59,719 --> 00:21:00,785
Ohhhh.

562
00:21:00,787 --> 00:21:02,389
What is wrong with you people?

563
00:21:02,491 --> 00:21:05,295
If he wants to see crying,
he should come and see me

564
00:21:05,397 --> 00:21:07,432
in the kitchen with
all these dirty dishes.

565
00:21:07,534 --> 00:21:08,568
Fine.

566
00:21:08,570 --> 00:21:10,572
I will do plates and
I will do silverware,

567
00:21:10,674 --> 00:21:12,976
but nothing that requires soaking!

568
00:21:13,367 --> 00:21:15,382
Oh, you guys are so cute!

569
00:21:15,484 --> 00:21:16,517
Well, George is.

570
00:21:16,519 --> 00:21:18,254
Poppy's gonna need a personality.

571
00:21:18,729 --> 00:21:21,227
- Ooh!
- Sorry, dude. Total accident.

572
00:21:21,329 --> 00:21:23,798
Oh. He's gonna be a good dad.

573
00:21:28,477 --> 00:21:30,621
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
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