1
00:00:02,975 --> 00:00:05,245
Question. I need to hire an assistant.

2
00:00:05,297 --> 00:00:06,431
Do you think it would be unethical

3
00:00:06,533 --> 00:00:07,967
to hire the second most
qualified candidate?

4
00:00:08,036 --> 00:00:09,336
What's wrong with the most qualified?

5
00:00:09,439 --> 00:00:10,473
Well...

6
00:00:10,791 --> 00:00:12,727
And after graduating
Stanford engineering,

7
00:00:12,829 --> 00:00:14,464
I was offered a Rhodes Scholarship.

8
00:00:15,860 --> 00:00:16,901
Do you have any questions for me?

9
00:00:18,306 --> 00:00:20,308
I definitely have to carve out
some extra time for giggling.

10
00:00:20,378 --> 00:00:21,711
You can't discriminate
against the poor guy

11
00:00:21,780 --> 00:00:23,415
just because he's a smoke show.

12
00:00:23,433 --> 00:00:25,769
I've been battling
hot-shaming my entire life.

13
00:00:25,838 --> 00:00:27,038
Please don't say "hot lives matter."

14
00:00:28,309 --> 00:00:29,810
Hey, Grandpa. What's up?

15
00:00:29,829 --> 00:00:31,497
Returning this to your mom.

16
00:00:31,599 --> 00:00:32,666
Who's the beefcake?

17
00:00:32,735 --> 00:00:33,754
Oh...

18
00:00:33,837 --> 00:00:35,170
I need to hire an assistant,

19
00:00:35,239 --> 00:00:37,141
and this gentleman is
currently the frontrunner.

20
00:00:37,210 --> 00:00:38,411
Does he get a normal paycheck,

21
00:00:38,480 --> 00:00:40,482
or are you just gonna stuff
ones down his G-string?

22
00:00:40,550 --> 00:00:42,452
I do have some trepidation
about the optics.

23
00:00:42,521 --> 00:00:45,090
Well, you should.
These are sensitive times.

24
00:00:45,158 --> 00:00:46,493
Perception is everything.

25
00:00:46,562 --> 00:00:48,764
I didn't care about any of that crap.

26
00:00:48,833 --> 00:00:51,102
I don't have enough work
for my assistant, Margaret.

27
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Been with me 40 years.

28
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I can't just put her out to pasture

29
00:00:54,243 --> 00:00:55,845
like some worn-out plow horse.

30
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The old broad deserves a little respect.

31
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No offense, Grandpa, but I need someone

32
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who can hit the ground running.

33
00:01:02,092 --> 00:01:03,894
Margaret's more someone
who would hit a pedestrian

34
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and not even realize it.

35
00:01:05,031 --> 00:01:06,666
Just because she's no Christie Brinkley,

36
00:01:06,768 --> 00:01:08,302
who, by the way,
is a year older than Margaret,

37
00:01:08,372 --> 00:01:10,106
doesn't mean we throw
her on the scrap heap.

38
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Well, she'd have to start tomorrow.

39
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Is she okay working on a Saturday?

40
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That's the advantage of hiring somebody

41
00:01:14,584 --> 00:01:15,751
with a few miles on her...

42
00:01:15,819 --> 00:01:17,955
By 6:00 a.m.,
she will have had two soft-boiled eggs

43
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and be raring to go.

44
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Cam, come on, let's go.

45
00:01:34,424 --> 00:01:36,593
No, hold on just a second.
I need to finish this.

46
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Please tell me this isn't
another letter-writing campaign.

47
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They're not going to rename our street.

48
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Okay, Mary Kay Place would be

49
00:01:42,105 --> 00:01:44,207
a very fun tribute to
an American treasure,

50
00:01:44,309 --> 00:01:45,477
but, no, that's not what this is.

51
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Cam, come on. I want to go.

52
00:01:46,848 --> 00:01:48,683
The store opens in a half-hour, okay?

53
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You know I get all my pants for
the entire year at this sale,

54
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and 32 is a very, very common pant size.

55
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It'd be great if we could go a day

56
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without you mentioning
your 32-inch waist size.

57
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No, this is urgent.

58
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Señor Kaplan cut my
"Wind Beneath My Wings" number

59
00:02:00,742 --> 00:02:02,944
at the faculty follies "for time."

60
00:02:03,047 --> 00:02:05,583
So I'm turning him in to the IRS

61
00:02:05,686 --> 00:02:06,986
for deducting his breakfast burritos.

62
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You're wasting your life
with these rivalries.

63
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There is a guy at work who
always eats my peanut butter,

64
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but I just let it go
because life's too short

65
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and so is he,
and maybe the peanut butter

66
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is just his creamy substitute
for human affection.

67
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Okay? Can we go? Could we please go?

68
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- Yes.
- Thank you.

69
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- Oh! Ah!
- Oh, my gosh.

70
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I'm s... Uh... C-Can we help you?

71
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Name's Murray Clark.

72
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I grew up in this house.

73
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- Oh! Hi!
- Oh!

74
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Well, my name is Cameron.
This is my husband, Mitchell.

75
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Well, that's funny.

76
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Okay.

77
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Uh, so, we were just about to leave.
See, I get all my pants...

78
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I haven't seen this house
since I went off to war.

79
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Oh, and you'd like to come in

80
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and take a look around a little bit?

81
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No, nothing like that.

82
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I just came here to die.

83
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- Uh, excuse me?
- I'm sorry?

84
00:02:50,842 --> 00:02:54,414
Oh, it's nothing sad.
I'll just be a minute.

85
00:02:57,848 --> 00:03:00,771
Actually, could I get a juice first?

86
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Oh, of course.

87
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- Why not?
- Sure, yeah.

88
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- What are you doing?
- Being a gracious host.

89
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To a stranger who wants to die here?

90
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Oh, come on, Mitchell,
nothing's going to happen.

91
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It's just a cry for help.

92
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Okay, if I can't get a pair of
slim-cut chinos in French Blue,

93
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you're gonna die here.

94
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- Marvin? Milton?
- No, it's Murray.

95
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- Murray? Murray!
- Murray!

96
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Oh, my God. Did he actually die?

97
00:03:22,304 --> 00:03:23,739
Calm down!
I'm... I'm first aid certified!

98
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Murray? Murray!

99
00:03:25,912 --> 00:03:27,980
Who taught you first aid,
a nanny on death row?

100
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- Wake up!
- Damn it!

101
00:03:29,804 --> 00:03:32,121
- Oh!
- I flew coach all the way from Florida

102
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to die in this house, and you ruined it!

103
00:03:34,679 --> 00:03:35,979
Oh, my God. That's insane.

104
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You knew you were going
to die and you flew coach?

105
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What are you doing?

106
00:03:40,189 --> 00:03:42,426
Oh, I'm trying to spruce up my résumé.

107
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This job hunt is killing me.

108
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I'm sorry, Mom, but if those companies

109
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aren't smart enough to hire you,

110
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you don't want to work with them anyway.

111
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That's what I used to
tell Alex about boys.

112
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Just don't jump at the first offer.

113
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That's what I used to
tell you about boys.

114
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He's here! He's here!

115
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Today, our old
neighbor-turned-tech-titan,

116
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Kenneth, is coming to visit.

117
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And he says he has a
"big surprise" for me.

118
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I don't know if the super rich
have access to time travel,

119
00:04:05,173 --> 00:04:06,975
but if they do,
I'm going back to the '90s.

120
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Ooh, to buy a whole bunch
of Amazon stock?

121
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No!

122
00:04:11,486 --> 00:04:14,390
I'm going to tell Felicity
not to cut her hair.

123
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Yeah!

124
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Hi.

125
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Okay.

126
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- Haley, get in here!
- Nah, I'm good.

127
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We're not letting go of each
other until you get in here.

128
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Haley, get in the hug!

129
00:04:28,052 --> 00:04:31,491
- Oh!
- Oh, this feels so good!

130
00:04:31,593 --> 00:04:33,661
Sure, but who needs hugs when you can...

131
00:04:33,764 --> 00:04:35,499
- man-shake!
- Man-shake!

132
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Uh-oh. You're gonna want to
give them some space for this.

133
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- Mm, mm, mm.
- Mm, mm, mm.

134
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- Pew!
- Pew!

135
00:04:42,681 --> 00:04:44,115
Ooh, what are the cameras for?

136
00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:45,719
Huh? Oh!

137
00:04:45,821 --> 00:04:48,357
This is for a documentary
about tech visionaries

138
00:04:48,460 --> 00:04:50,829
going back to thank the
people who inspired them.

139
00:04:50,931 --> 00:04:53,501
Elon Musk got his math
teacher an island.

140
00:04:53,603 --> 00:04:54,670
What am I getting?

141
00:04:54,672 --> 00:04:56,006
Assuming it's... me.

142
00:04:56,108 --> 00:04:58,277
- Well, are the cameras rolling?
- Yes.

143
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What is the one thing

144
00:05:00,216 --> 00:05:01,984
that we've always dreamed
of doing together?

145
00:05:02,087 --> 00:05:03,655
Going to college in
New York with Felicity?

146
00:05:03,757 --> 00:05:04,957
No.

147
00:05:05,059 --> 00:05:06,828
This man right here,

148
00:05:06,930 --> 00:05:09,533
he taught me to always dream big

149
00:05:09,635 --> 00:05:11,471
and reach for the stars.

150
00:05:11,573 --> 00:05:14,008
And as a thank-you, Phil,

151
00:05:14,111 --> 00:05:17,181
would you make me the
happiest man on Earth

152
00:05:17,283 --> 00:05:19,820
and leave Earth with me?

153
00:05:19,922 --> 00:05:21,591
W-W-What?

154
00:05:21,693 --> 00:05:26,166
I just got us two tickets
on the next Russian flight

155
00:05:26,268 --> 00:05:29,773
to the International Space Station!

156
00:05:29,876 --> 00:05:31,744
This is the most amazing thing
that's ever happened to me!

157
00:05:31,846 --> 00:05:33,448
Except of... of course,

158
00:05:35,153 --> 00:05:38,157
winning two non-consecutive
Realtor of the Year Awards.

159
00:05:38,259 --> 00:05:40,094
I'm... I'm going to cry.

160
00:05:40,196 --> 00:05:42,165
Uh, don't cry yet. I'm so sorry.
We had a sound issue.

161
00:05:42,267 --> 00:05:43,300
Can we do all that again?

162
00:05:43,403 --> 00:05:45,839
Yeah! Should we take it back to the hug?

163
00:05:49,446 --> 00:05:51,684
So, tickets for my show
today are at will call.

164
00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:53,721
And good news...
I was able to get you comps.

165
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I'm sure it'll cost me in other ways.

166
00:05:56,667 --> 00:05:58,029
It's from Dad. "I'm almost there."

167
00:05:58,132 --> 00:06:01,269
If "almost there" was a place,
Javier would be the mayor.

168
00:06:02,003 --> 00:06:04,075
Please stop taking pot shots
at his expense.

169
00:06:04,143 --> 00:06:05,343
Pot shots are the only thing

170
00:06:05,413 --> 00:06:07,347
that we can take at his expense.

171
00:06:07,970 --> 00:06:10,220
I mean it, Mom.
You've even poisoned Joe.

172
00:06:10,322 --> 00:06:12,492
You mean with her cooking?

173
00:06:12,561 --> 00:06:14,028
Hey, we're only making fun of Javier!

174
00:06:14,944 --> 00:06:16,165
No, we're not.

175
00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:18,280
- Promise me.
- Okay, fine, I promise.

176
00:06:18,315 --> 00:06:20,408
If my good-natured ribbing
is making you uncomfortable,

177
00:06:20,477 --> 00:06:22,512
I will refrain.

178
00:06:23,404 --> 00:06:24,649
I've got her on Word a Day cards.

179
00:06:24,752 --> 00:06:26,252
We'll see how long it holds.

180
00:06:28,274 --> 00:06:29,575
Hola, Gloria.

181
00:06:29,644 --> 00:06:31,345
Oh, Javier, h... Eeeee.

182
00:06:31,448 --> 00:06:32,748
Nice teeth.

183
00:06:32,817 --> 00:06:35,821
Did you get them at the
dentist or at the piano store?

184
00:06:35,923 --> 00:06:38,158
I haven't seen anything
so white and square

185
00:06:38,261 --> 00:06:40,329
since the Mormons knocked on my door.

186
00:06:40,432 --> 00:06:42,935
And those were just
off the top of my head,

187
00:06:43,037 --> 00:06:44,839
but I promised Manny, so... Pbht!

188
00:06:44,941 --> 00:06:46,509
Nice to see you. Come in.

189
00:06:46,611 --> 00:06:49,114
- Hey, Dad!
- There's my boy!

190
00:06:50,753 --> 00:06:52,053
Whee!

191
00:06:52,155 --> 00:06:55,994
Someone has been wearing
my custom-made cologne...

192
00:06:56,096 --> 00:06:57,398
Javier!

193
00:06:57,500 --> 00:07:00,169
For the man who wants to smell
a little bit like a woman.

194
00:07:00,271 --> 00:07:01,406
Thanks for coming to my show, Dad.

195
00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:02,741
Of course. I wouldn't miss it.

196
00:07:02,843 --> 00:07:05,447
But, hey, that is not
the only reason I am in town.

197
00:07:05,549 --> 00:07:07,851
I, um... I have a proposition...

198
00:07:07,954 --> 00:07:10,724
something for you to chew on.

199
00:07:10,826 --> 00:07:12,361
Couldn't you chew on it for us

200
00:07:12,430 --> 00:07:14,799
with your giant, new beaver mouth?

201
00:07:15,539 --> 00:07:17,303
I don't know why
I made that stupid promise.

202
00:07:17,373 --> 00:07:18,707
I am on fire!

203
00:07:18,775 --> 00:07:22,381
I was in a high-stakes poker
game with a King-high Flush.

204
00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:23,617
So I bet my house.

205
00:07:23,719 --> 00:07:24,785
No, no, no, no, no.

206
00:07:24,854 --> 00:07:26,221
You're not living in Manny's room.

207
00:07:26,323 --> 00:07:29,895
I won a year-long
cruise around the world.

208
00:07:29,998 --> 00:07:32,701
I want you to set sail with
me for the entire voyage!

209
00:07:32,803 --> 00:07:34,605
- What?
- Absolutely not.

210
00:07:34,707 --> 00:07:36,208
I should ask my gal at Nordstrom

211
00:07:36,310 --> 00:07:37,678
to pull some cruise looks for me.

212
00:07:37,780 --> 00:07:39,615
Look at him, he's chomping at the bit.

213
00:07:39,717 --> 00:07:41,386
Stop setting me up!

214
00:07:43,371 --> 00:07:46,577
Here you go.
A cup of joe, the old-fashioned way.

215
00:07:46,645 --> 00:07:48,313
- Oh, thanks, Margaret.
- Mm-hmm.

216
00:07:49,864 --> 00:07:53,189
Mnh! Oh, God.
I-Is there bourbon in this?

217
00:07:53,241 --> 00:07:54,542
When you asked for coffee,

218
00:07:54,644 --> 00:07:56,913
didn't you give me a "wink-wink"?

219
00:07:57,015 --> 00:07:58,817
No. It's the morning.

220
00:07:58,886 --> 00:08:00,888
Well, that's why there's coffee in it.

221
00:08:02,159 --> 00:08:04,462
Could you just make me a
lunch reservation, please?

222
00:08:04,514 --> 00:08:07,016
Oh. No problem.

223
00:08:07,118 --> 00:08:08,285
What's that thing?

224
00:08:08,354 --> 00:08:10,624
Oh, these are all the great restaurants

225
00:08:10,693 --> 00:08:12,126
that Jay used to go to.

226
00:08:12,228 --> 00:08:15,199
Oh. Do you like Steak Diane?

227
00:08:16,236 --> 00:08:19,675
It took her 12 tries to find
a place that had a salad.

228
00:08:20,679 --> 00:08:22,848
Uh, w-what are you doing?

229
00:08:22,950 --> 00:08:24,785
Oh, I was just getting the couch ready

230
00:08:24,854 --> 00:08:26,522
for your afternoon "meeting."

231
00:08:26,591 --> 00:08:28,893
Why are you saying "meeting"
like it's not really a meeting?

232
00:08:29,989 --> 00:08:30,880
Just so you know,

233
00:08:30,915 --> 00:08:33,635
when I say something,
that's exactly what I mean.

234
00:08:33,688 --> 00:08:35,355
Also, when you called me from your car,

235
00:08:35,458 --> 00:08:36,758
I couldn't really understand you.

236
00:08:36,860 --> 00:08:38,395
You may want to fix your Bluetooth.

237
00:08:38,497 --> 00:08:40,298
Oh. You noticed?

238
00:08:40,401 --> 00:08:42,904
The nerve died a few years ago.

239
00:08:42,972 --> 00:08:45,843
But if it bothers you,
I'll have it yanked.

240
00:08:46,980 --> 00:08:49,651
So, Manny, what is your show about?

241
00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:52,189
Will there be pirates
and tasteful nudity?

242
00:08:52,257 --> 00:08:53,792
It'll be different from my last one.

243
00:08:54,161 --> 00:08:55,496
This is a one-man play

244
00:08:55,598 --> 00:08:57,666
in which I portray four
characters in a café

245
00:08:57,769 --> 00:08:59,135
from different walks of life.

246
00:08:59,154 --> 00:09:00,187
When the Internet goes out,

247
00:09:00,256 --> 00:09:01,991
they're forced to talk to each other.

248
00:09:02,093 --> 00:09:05,532
I call it "Who, What,
When, Where, Wi-Fi."

249
00:09:05,634 --> 00:09:06,701
I'd throw in a pirate.

250
00:09:07,358 --> 00:09:08,905
I should go get into characters.

251
00:09:10,761 --> 00:09:12,496
Manny's not going on that trip.

252
00:09:12,598 --> 00:09:15,167
I know what an adventure with you means.

253
00:09:15,269 --> 00:09:17,038
Seedy bars, con men,

254
00:09:17,106 --> 00:09:18,942
souvenir pens that when you flip them,

255
00:09:19,044 --> 00:09:20,679
the lady's clothes come off.

256
00:09:20,747 --> 00:09:22,749
If my son wants to
spend some time with me,

257
00:09:22,851 --> 00:09:23,868
he should be able to.

258
00:09:23,887 --> 00:09:25,755
Jay... back me up.

259
00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:27,024
He's not gonna back you up.

260
00:09:27,093 --> 00:09:28,995
Gloria, let Manny go on the trip.
He'll be fine.

261
00:09:29,064 --> 00:09:31,299
He's been 40 since he was 10.

262
00:09:31,368 --> 00:09:33,269
And he's been 10 for 40 years.

263
00:09:33,372 --> 00:09:34,473
It's not happening.

264
00:09:34,541 --> 00:09:36,376
Look, I understand your concern,

265
00:09:36,445 --> 00:09:38,747
but I want to bond with
Manny before it's too late.

266
00:09:39,852 --> 00:09:42,187
I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.

267
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,809
You probably didn't notice,
but I got veneers.

268
00:09:44,911 --> 00:09:46,413
Oh, that's what that is!

269
00:09:47,617 --> 00:09:49,386
Please don't die in our house.

270
00:09:49,488 --> 00:09:50,621
What the hell do you care?

271
00:09:50,690 --> 00:09:52,625
For starters,
if we ever want to sell this place,

272
00:09:52,694 --> 00:09:54,227
we'll have to disclose
that someone died here.

273
00:09:54,296 --> 00:09:55,731
Why? The last owners didn't.

274
00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:57,768
For the millionth time,
I moved that chair.

275
00:09:57,870 --> 00:10:00,541
My wife passed years ago.
I don't have any other family.

276
00:10:00,609 --> 00:10:03,212
I just want to close
my eyes and drift off.

277
00:10:03,281 --> 00:10:05,750
There are lots of reasons
to want to continue to live.

278
00:10:05,803 --> 00:10:07,371
I know you miss your missus,

279
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:08,973
but living alone is underrated.

280
00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:11,211
For one, you can have
whatever you want for dinner.

281
00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:13,650
- Huh.
- Two, you can move the couch wherever you'd like.

282
00:10:13,718 --> 00:10:14,919
It's been 10 years.

283
00:10:14,987 --> 00:10:16,354
Where...
Where would the couch look better?

284
00:10:16,458 --> 00:10:19,294
I appreciate what you
think passes for support.

285
00:10:19,397 --> 00:10:21,231
I'm just not interested.

286
00:10:21,249 --> 00:10:23,118
I think you need a more
positive outlook on life.

287
00:10:23,220 --> 00:10:25,222
Our neighbor Herschel,
he's about your age.

288
00:10:25,324 --> 00:10:27,059
- Herschel Braverman?
- Yeah.

289
00:10:27,128 --> 00:10:29,163
- We grew up together.
- We love Herschel!

290
00:10:29,232 --> 00:10:31,502
We... We bring him a corned beef
sandwich every time we go to the deli.

291
00:10:31,604 --> 00:10:33,740
Yeah, see?
There's something to live for.

292
00:10:33,775 --> 00:10:35,792
- Yeah.
- You should go reunite with your old friend.

293
00:10:35,827 --> 00:10:36,945
- Right now.
- Okay, you know what?

294
00:10:36,947 --> 00:10:38,716
Don't be rude. We'll walk him over.

295
00:10:38,785 --> 00:10:40,486
He's just in a hurry
to get to a pants sale

296
00:10:40,555 --> 00:10:41,755
that started 30 minutes ago.

297
00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:43,681
What are you, a 32?

298
00:10:43,716 --> 00:10:44,728
I am.

299
00:10:45,030 --> 00:10:47,767
All the good stuff's already gone.

300
00:10:49,573 --> 00:10:51,273
If you guys want to keep
up with the Russians,

301
00:10:51,342 --> 00:10:53,211
- you're gonna have to train.
- Oh.

302
00:10:53,279 --> 00:10:54,414
I'll get the vodka!

303
00:10:56,486 --> 00:10:58,087
If I could build a fembot
with lifelike skin,

304
00:10:58,189 --> 00:10:59,424
it would be just like her.

305
00:10:59,526 --> 00:11:01,361
Did you get a weird vibe from Claire?

306
00:11:01,463 --> 00:11:03,632
No, she seemed
super positive and supportive.

307
00:11:03,734 --> 00:11:05,001
That's exactly what I mean.

308
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:09,810
Oh, while I'm here,
I'm gonna see if we have any Tang!

309
00:11:09,814 --> 00:11:12,215
I don't want to go to space, Claire!
I'm terrified!

310
00:11:12,233 --> 00:11:14,335
What happens if I break
something and we can't breathe?

311
00:11:14,439 --> 00:11:16,574
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
I can't breathe right now.

312
00:11:16,643 --> 00:11:19,547
Honey, calm down!
The Russians know what they're doing!

313
00:11:19,615 --> 00:11:21,249
I'm going to die up there!

314
00:11:21,318 --> 00:11:22,953
Just tell him you don't want to go.

315
00:11:23,055 --> 00:11:25,024
This is such an amazing gift,
it'll crush him.

316
00:11:25,126 --> 00:11:27,161
Plus, I'll look like a
coward in that documentary.

317
00:11:27,263 --> 00:11:28,732
You're right,
we don't want to see this on film.

318
00:11:28,834 --> 00:11:30,769
I'm taping over it already in my mind.

319
00:11:30,838 --> 00:11:32,806
- You've gotta shut this down.
- What?

320
00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:34,826
Help me, Claire. You're my only hope.

321
00:11:34,929 --> 00:11:36,129
Fine.

322
00:11:36,231 --> 00:11:37,532
But if I do this, you're not allowed

323
00:11:37,634 --> 00:11:38,901
to quote "Star Wars" to me anymore.

324
00:11:39,003 --> 00:11:40,772
- I love you.
- I know.

325
00:11:43,580 --> 00:11:45,381
Hey... Kenneth.

326
00:11:45,483 --> 00:11:47,485
I was just talking to
Buzz-kill Aldrin over here...

327
00:11:47,588 --> 00:11:48,955
Claire,
I-I hope you don't mind terribly,

328
00:11:49,023 --> 00:11:50,692
but I was just taking a
peek at your résumé.

329
00:11:50,794 --> 00:11:52,762
It is very impressive.

330
00:11:52,864 --> 00:11:54,097
Have you landed anywhere?

331
00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:55,568
Uh, not yet, no.

332
00:11:55,636 --> 00:11:58,368
- You know, speaking of landings, unfortunately...
- Wow, really?

333
00:11:58,443 --> 00:12:01,145
Well, we should talk about a
really interesting job opportunity

334
00:12:01,247 --> 00:12:02,548
that just opened up at my company.

335
00:12:02,650 --> 00:12:03,917
I would love that.

336
00:12:04,019 --> 00:12:07,157
I'm looking for a bold candidate
who loves to take chances.

337
00:12:07,259 --> 00:12:09,729
No, you are looking at a bold candidate

338
00:12:09,831 --> 00:12:11,399
who loves to take chances.

339
00:12:12,537 --> 00:12:14,572
I know, but, still, um, Claire has...

340
00:12:14,674 --> 00:12:16,509
Claire has some concerns.

341
00:12:17,619 --> 00:12:20,183
If I'm working for you,
do I still get hugs?

342
00:12:20,285 --> 00:12:21,553
- No, not in this climate.
- Oh.

343
00:12:21,655 --> 00:12:23,891
Best I can offer is a wo-man shake!

344
00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:25,226
Ha! What?

345
00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:26,930
Uh, uh, pew!

346
00:12:27,032 --> 00:12:28,266
- Whoa!
- What?

347
00:12:28,369 --> 00:12:29,802
- Wow, you are a quick study.
- How am I doing this?

348
00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:33,658
Remember, shred this, don't fax it.

349
00:12:33,727 --> 00:12:35,996
- Hey, honey.
- Hi, Jay. - Grandpa.

350
00:12:36,098 --> 00:12:37,224
Cup of coffee, Margaret?

351
00:12:38,403 --> 00:12:39,624
Grandpa, what are you doing here?

352
00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:42,169
A terrible thing happened today
at Manny's one-man show...

353
00:12:42,204 --> 00:12:43,547
He got me a ticket.

354
00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:46,550
No, I just stopped in to see
how Margaret's working out.

355
00:12:46,602 --> 00:12:47,608
She's not.

356
00:12:47,637 --> 00:12:49,038
As much as I enjoyed her pairing

357
00:12:49,106 --> 00:12:51,910
the glass of Chablis with
my surprise shrimp cocktail,

358
00:12:51,979 --> 00:12:54,214
that's not a skill I
need in an assistant.

359
00:12:54,317 --> 00:12:55,551
You have to fire her.

360
00:12:55,620 --> 00:12:57,722
I can't.
She worked for me her whole life.

361
00:12:57,790 --> 00:13:00,527
She slept on the sidewalk to
get me Nancy Sinatra tickets.

362
00:13:00,596 --> 00:13:02,030
Fine. I'll do it.

363
00:13:02,065 --> 00:13:03,633
Margaret,
could you come in here, please?

364
00:13:03,702 --> 00:13:05,671
This is the second thing
today I can't watch.

365
00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:08,342
I did everything I could for you.

366
00:13:08,411 --> 00:13:09,511
She's a cold one.

367
00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:11,849
What's going on here?

368
00:13:11,918 --> 00:13:13,252
Am I fired?

369
00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:14,488
I'm afraid so.

370
00:13:14,590 --> 00:13:16,224
Oh, thank God!

371
00:13:16,293 --> 00:13:18,328
I've been wanting to
retire for years now,

372
00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:20,467
but I could never let Jay down.

373
00:13:20,535 --> 00:13:23,706
I just want to sleep,
tend my cannabis garden,

374
00:13:23,775 --> 00:13:25,744
and never work again.

375
00:13:26,246 --> 00:13:28,315
Margaret, I want you back at Dog Beds.

376
00:13:28,418 --> 00:13:30,753
Oh, whatever you say, Jay.

377
00:13:30,855 --> 00:13:31,889
See you tomorrow.

378
00:13:31,957 --> 00:13:34,628
No! Grandpa, Margaret wants to retire.

379
00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:37,600
It's not what I want.
It's what Jay needs.

380
00:13:37,669 --> 00:13:39,471
Ugh, what is wrong with you two?

381
00:13:39,540 --> 00:13:40,873
You don't need an assistant,

382
00:13:40,942 --> 00:13:42,176
and she doesn't want to work anymore.

383
00:13:42,244 --> 00:13:44,346
Is this true?
Do you really want to hang it up?

384
00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:46,968
There are some things
I wouldn't mind trying.

385
00:13:47,037 --> 00:13:49,139
Well, then you should do it.
I'll manage.

386
00:13:49,141 --> 00:13:50,341
It's going to be weird, though.

387
00:13:50,411 --> 00:13:53,047
I mean, you're the longest
relationship I've ever had.

388
00:13:53,115 --> 00:13:55,452
Four husbands, three heart attacks,

389
00:13:55,554 --> 00:13:57,222
countless lovers,

390
00:13:57,290 --> 00:14:00,362
and you stood by me through it all.

391
00:14:00,731 --> 00:14:02,064
I love you, Jay.

392
00:14:04,037 --> 00:14:05,472
I love you, too, Margaret.

393
00:14:06,643 --> 00:14:07,709
It's been a great run.

394
00:14:07,778 --> 00:14:09,279
And we'll always have Mitchell.

395
00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:11,817
- What?
- She's messing with you.

396
00:14:13,754 --> 00:14:15,625
No, our kid moved away a long time ago.

397
00:14:19,134 --> 00:14:20,936
Hey, forget what I told you earlier.

398
00:14:21,004 --> 00:14:22,539
It's okay to hire the hot one.

399
00:14:22,641 --> 00:14:24,309
You may make a friend for life.

400
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,703
Hey, fellas!

401
00:14:29,771 --> 00:14:31,673
- Hey, Herschel!
- You bring me a sandwich?

402
00:14:31,742 --> 00:14:33,611
Oh, no, we didn't go to the deli today.

403
00:14:33,679 --> 00:14:35,681
- Eh...
- No, no, no! Wait, wait, wait!

404
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:38,454
But how about a trip
down memory lane instead?

405
00:14:38,556 --> 00:14:40,658
- Eh...
- W-Wait, wait, wait.

406
00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:42,662
Herschel, look, we have your old friend

407
00:14:42,764 --> 00:14:45,300
- Murray Clark!
- Clark!

408
00:14:45,703 --> 00:14:47,237
Well, what do you know?

409
00:14:47,306 --> 00:14:48,407
Hello, Hersch.

410
00:14:48,475 --> 00:14:49,976
It's been a lifetime.

411
00:14:50,646 --> 00:14:54,184
Don't give me that,
you smug sonuvabitch.

412
00:14:54,252 --> 00:14:55,487
What... W-What's happening?

413
00:14:55,589 --> 00:14:58,960
This bastard told our football
coach I was a communist.

414
00:14:59,029 --> 00:15:00,697
Got me kicked off the team.

415
00:15:00,799 --> 00:15:01,933
I could've gone pro!

416
00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:05,172
I only did that
'cause he stole my paper route!

417
00:15:05,274 --> 00:15:08,078
I had to deliver ice
to support my family.

418
00:15:08,147 --> 00:15:09,615
Deliver ice? How old are you guys?

419
00:15:09,717 --> 00:15:11,652
- You're a snake!
- You're a rat!

420
00:15:12,021 --> 00:15:14,123
He stole my girl when I went to war,

421
00:15:14,192 --> 00:15:16,160
and he stayed home with a fake limp.

422
00:15:16,229 --> 00:15:17,564
You should be grateful!

423
00:15:17,633 --> 00:15:19,100
That woman gave me the clap!

424
00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:21,104
That was a little gift from me!

425
00:15:21,206 --> 00:15:22,306
Eh!

426
00:15:22,376 --> 00:15:23,676
Murray, what the heck was that?

427
00:15:23,778 --> 00:15:24,912
Just the beginning.

428
00:15:24,980 --> 00:15:26,247
The beg... the beginning?

429
00:15:27,619 --> 00:15:30,456
Oh... Murray.
Uh, what are you doing, buddy?

430
00:15:30,925 --> 00:15:32,527
Nobody talks to me like that.

431
00:15:34,298 --> 00:15:35,533
Oh.

432
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:36,636
Fine.

433
00:15:36,704 --> 00:15:38,237
I'm taking it.

434
00:15:38,306 --> 00:15:40,710
And when I get home,
I'm going to sign him up

435
00:15:40,778 --> 00:15:42,513
for a bunch of those fringe religions.

436
00:15:42,582 --> 00:15:45,486
Let's see how he likes getting
all those singing visitors

437
00:15:45,555 --> 00:15:47,490
and all those free Bibles.

438
00:15:47,558 --> 00:15:49,627
I'm going to ruin the rest of his life.

439
00:15:49,729 --> 00:15:51,698
See, Mitchell,
he's making plans for the future.

440
00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:54,002
That's why you have rivals.
It's something to live for.

441
00:15:54,071 --> 00:15:56,206
Okay, you're just
justifying bad behavior.

442
00:15:56,275 --> 00:15:58,110
Okay, Murray, Mitchell has somebody at work
that keeps stealing his peanut butter,

443
00:15:58,179 --> 00:15:59,514
and he won't do anything about it.

444
00:15:59,616 --> 00:16:02,653
You want to stop it?
Try mixing in some laxatives.

445
00:16:02,722 --> 00:16:04,156
And then put an
"under construction" sign

446
00:16:04,258 --> 00:16:05,626
on the bathroom door.

447
00:16:05,694 --> 00:16:07,663
And if you really want
to ruin his day...

448
00:16:07,765 --> 00:16:09,708
Okay, now, hold on, hold on.
Let me write these down.

449
00:16:09,743 --> 00:16:11,805
- Alright.
- You call his wife...

450
00:16:12,608 --> 00:16:15,077
Hey, the Wi-Fi's out.

451
00:16:17,451 --> 00:16:18,885
Huge bummer, man.

452
00:16:18,953 --> 00:16:21,524
I was just about to
finish writing my poem.

453
00:16:22,928 --> 00:16:26,266
You're a writer, too?
Well, knock me over with a feather.

454
00:16:26,334 --> 00:16:28,738
Blaine Lemarque, playwright.

455
00:16:28,806 --> 00:16:31,042
Power used to go out all
the time in the bayou.

456
00:16:31,949 --> 00:16:34,281
So crazy, I'm writing a movie

457
00:16:34,300 --> 00:16:36,536
set in the bayou called "Swamp Cops."

458
00:16:36,572 --> 00:16:40,043
I'm in film school, but soon,
everyone's gonna know my name...

459
00:16:40,112 --> 00:16:41,710
Keith Fank!

460
00:16:41,745 --> 00:16:43,617
I couldn't help overhearing.

461
00:16:43,653 --> 00:16:46,808
I'm Rhonda Jamowitz,
gossip columnist for the local rag.

462
00:16:46,843 --> 00:16:49,094
You'll never guess which
starlet was in here yesterday

463
00:16:49,163 --> 00:16:51,967
with a new man and a newer nose.

464
00:16:53,505 --> 00:16:56,108
I was hoping that the
play was gonna get better.

465
00:16:56,176 --> 00:16:58,780
With maybe a little less Rhonda.

466
00:16:58,882 --> 00:17:01,250
I know I'm going on and on,

467
00:17:01,269 --> 00:17:03,472
but for the first time
since Mother passed,

468
00:17:03,541 --> 00:17:04,641
I don't feel alone.

469
00:17:04,743 --> 00:17:06,110
Brilliant.

470
00:17:06,179 --> 00:17:08,048
I don't miss the nudity at all.

471
00:17:08,116 --> 00:17:10,218
We're so worried about
staying connected,

472
00:17:10,287 --> 00:17:12,524
ignoring the walls
that are being erected.

473
00:17:12,592 --> 00:17:14,795
We let the information confound us,

474
00:17:14,863 --> 00:17:17,901
when there's so much
love swirling around us,

475
00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:19,571
that all we need to do is...

476
00:17:20,809 --> 00:17:22,242
Wi-Fi's back on!

477
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,536
I blame myself.

478
00:17:35,605 --> 00:17:36,938
"You got an A? Have a hat."

479
00:17:37,007 --> 00:17:39,209
"You skinned your knee? Have a hat."

480
00:17:40,105 --> 00:17:41,581
Sorry for making you guys wait.

481
00:17:41,683 --> 00:17:43,084
It took me a little
longer than I thought

482
00:17:43,186 --> 00:17:44,454
to find my way back to Manny.

483
00:17:44,556 --> 00:17:45,823
Bravo, bravo!

484
00:17:45,925 --> 00:17:47,125
Another triumph, eh?

485
00:17:47,227 --> 00:17:48,294
Thanks.

486
00:17:48,364 --> 00:17:50,365
You know,
I really think I have something here.

487
00:17:50,384 --> 00:17:51,784
Maybe instead of going on that cruise,

488
00:17:51,853 --> 00:17:53,053
I should stay home and work on...

489
00:17:53,122 --> 00:17:54,790
You are going on that cruise!

490
00:17:55,394 --> 00:17:56,761
It's gonna be good for you.

491
00:17:56,830 --> 00:17:58,465
It's so important for your father.

492
00:17:58,533 --> 00:18:00,334
He planned a whole adventure!

493
00:18:00,404 --> 00:18:02,572
We'll drink tequila in Honduras.

494
00:18:02,774 --> 00:18:04,308
We'll swim with the dolphins in Bali.

495
00:18:04,378 --> 00:18:06,447
But when we travel
through the Panama Canal,

496
00:18:06,482 --> 00:18:08,183
we'll be required to do
some light housekeeping.

497
00:18:08,251 --> 00:18:09,285
It's part of the deal.

498
00:18:10,027 --> 00:18:11,957
Okay, then. I'll just go grab my stuff

499
00:18:12,026 --> 00:18:14,028
and take some selfies with my fan.

500
00:18:15,366 --> 00:18:16,934
Gloria, dime...

501
00:18:17,002 --> 00:18:19,205
why are you suddenly so
on board with this trip?

502
00:18:19,273 --> 00:18:21,075
I've sheltered him for too long.

503
00:18:21,445 --> 00:18:25,083
He needs something real
that he can write about.

504
00:18:25,152 --> 00:18:27,455
Take him to the seediest bars,

505
00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:29,592
introduce him to con men.

506
00:18:29,661 --> 00:18:32,064
Let him taste danger.

507
00:18:32,132 --> 00:18:36,373
But not shrimp,
because it makes his eyelid feel funny.

508
00:18:37,376 --> 00:18:38,576
No, señor!

509
00:18:38,645 --> 00:18:41,181
The cycle ends here!

510
00:18:44,093 --> 00:18:46,085
Really? You just sold me out for a job?

511
00:18:46,093 --> 00:18:48,562
Honey, he wants a risk-taker.

512
00:18:48,632 --> 00:18:51,001
How's it going to look if
I squash your boys' trip?

513
00:18:51,103 --> 00:18:53,973
Boys' trip? We're leaving the planet!

514
00:18:54,075 --> 00:18:55,910
You know the scariest
part of a roller coaster?

515
00:18:56,013 --> 00:18:57,046
It's a month of that!

516
00:18:57,115 --> 00:18:58,783
Dad, you don't want to go to space?

517
00:18:58,885 --> 00:19:00,820
No, I do. I-I just... I worry

518
00:19:00,922 --> 00:19:02,624
that it might be too
traumatic for you...

519
00:19:02,693 --> 00:19:04,193
Oh, no, it'll be fun to tell the kids

520
00:19:04,262 --> 00:19:05,630
their Pop-Pop is an astronaut.

521
00:19:05,732 --> 00:19:08,035
Pop-Pop might be the last sound I make.

522
00:19:08,137 --> 00:19:09,671
Claire, if it's not too much trouble,

523
00:19:09,740 --> 00:19:12,343
would you please, um,
pick out a family photo for me to clutch

524
00:19:12,413 --> 00:19:13,746
after my tether snaps

525
00:19:13,815 --> 00:19:16,117
and I tumble endlessly through the void?

526
00:19:16,169 --> 00:19:18,338
It is much more likely

527
00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:21,010
that you will just
incinerate upon re-entry.

528
00:19:21,079 --> 00:19:22,279
You guys talking about space?

529
00:19:22,717 --> 00:19:25,486
Yeah. Um... look, buddy,

530
00:19:25,588 --> 00:19:28,157
I appreciate all this,
but I don't want to go.

531
00:19:28,729 --> 00:19:31,732
- What?
- I'm sorry. I'm just so scared.

532
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:32,867
But y-you're my rock.

533
00:19:32,936 --> 00:19:34,871
I-I can't...
I can't do this without you.

534
00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:35,946
I'm your rock?

535
00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:38,846
What did I get us into?

536
00:19:38,948 --> 00:19:41,518
I didn't even want to go.

537
00:19:41,987 --> 00:19:44,624
I just wanted to look
cool in front of Bezos

538
00:19:44,692 --> 00:19:47,863
and Elon and Zuck-Zuck.

539
00:19:47,932 --> 00:19:50,669
That's the reason why you're going?

540
00:19:50,671 --> 00:19:52,973
I'm sorry, but launching
white dudes into space

541
00:19:53,075 --> 00:19:54,242
hasn't been cool for years.

542
00:19:54,311 --> 00:19:55,645
But the cameras.

543
00:19:55,714 --> 00:19:57,248
How am I going to get out of this?

544
00:19:57,350 --> 00:19:58,918
Well, if you're trying to look cool,

545
00:19:58,987 --> 00:20:00,522
just throw some splashy event

546
00:20:00,624 --> 00:20:02,224
and auction off the
space trip to charity.

547
00:20:02,327 --> 00:20:03,928
That could work.

548
00:20:03,997 --> 00:20:06,032
- What kind of charity?
- Wolves are hot right now.

549
00:20:06,134 --> 00:20:09,138
I love that.
I'm going to save the wolves!

550
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:10,809
- We're saving them, right?
- Yeah.

551
00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:13,514
I like the way you
think outside the box.

552
00:20:13,617 --> 00:20:16,019
I may have a really interesting
job opportunity for you.

553
00:20:16,121 --> 00:20:18,123
Haley, we could be working together!

554
00:20:18,225 --> 00:20:20,160
No, it's really just the one job.

555
00:20:20,262 --> 00:20:23,668
And, Phil,
while it's not a trip to space,

556
00:20:23,770 --> 00:20:27,041
I hope that the Phil
Dunphy Center for Wolves

557
00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:29,680
will be a fitting honor for
the man who changed my life.

558
00:20:29,782 --> 00:20:32,653
We'll have a big opening ceremony.

559
00:20:32,755 --> 00:20:33,888
You'll meet all the wolves!

560
00:20:33,990 --> 00:20:35,892
Now let's go do this again
in front of the cameras!

561
00:20:40,136 --> 00:20:42,472
I'm terrified of wolves!

562
00:20:44,492 --> 00:20:45,996
Oh, good, you're here.

563
00:20:46,020 --> 00:20:48,957
Manny's about to model his
new cruise wear for me.

564
00:20:49,059 --> 00:20:50,159
This should be good.

565
00:20:50,261 --> 00:20:52,196
Jay, don't make him self-conscious.

566
00:20:52,298 --> 00:20:53,766
Promise you're going to be nice.

567
00:20:55,137 --> 00:20:56,506
Very smart.

568
00:20:56,607 --> 00:20:57,608
Thanks, Mom.

569
00:20:57,610 --> 00:20:59,177
Jay, what do you think?

570
00:21:00,248 --> 00:21:02,016
Hey, El Capitán Kangaroo.

571
00:21:02,118 --> 00:21:03,953
What are you, the Untalented Mr. Ripley?

572
00:21:04,055 --> 00:21:06,191
You should be directing
traffic in the Bahamas.

573
00:21:06,283 --> 00:21:07,293
Tennille called...

574
00:21:07,295 --> 00:21:08,630
D-Did I do that one yet?

575
00:21:08,732 --> 00:21:10,534
Anyway, she thinks you look like the kid

576
00:21:10,636 --> 00:21:13,238
in an '80s movie we're supposed to hate.

577
00:21:14,390 --> 00:21:15,477
You look amazing.

578
00:21:15,479 --> 00:21:19,117
Amazing-ly like the last Kennedy
picked in a touch football game.

579
00:21:19,219 --> 00:21:21,389
These are too good.
I gotta tell him.

580
00:21:21,491 --> 00:21:23,560
Manny, put the outfit back on!

581
00:21:29,177 --> 00:21:31,227
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
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