1 00:00:02,924 --> 00:00:04,926 - Jess. - Yeah. 2 00:00:05,010 --> 00:00:06,136 Can I ask you something? 3 00:00:06,219 --> 00:00:07,471 You want my help? 4 00:00:07,554 --> 00:00:08,597 Sure. 5 00:00:09,473 --> 00:00:11,099 You consider me a sexy man, correct? 6 00:00:11,516 --> 00:00:13,602 I don't know how to answer that question. 7 00:00:13,685 --> 00:00:15,228 I'm meeting a girl for drinks tonight, 8 00:00:15,312 --> 00:00:17,189 and I'll probably bring her back here for sex. 9 00:00:17,272 --> 00:00:19,274 I have to get to school 'cause it's Astronomy Day 10 00:00:19,358 --> 00:00:22,444 and I'm dressing up like Galileo, so I have to put on my beard. 11 00:00:22,527 --> 00:00:25,739 I get that, but as a lady, where in the room do I look sexiest? 12 00:00:25,822 --> 00:00:28,325 You know, like… Like, where am I best on display? 13 00:00:28,408 --> 00:00:29,409 Here? 14 00:00:32,287 --> 00:00:34,164 Here or… 15 00:00:35,791 --> 00:00:36,792 Here? 16 00:00:36,875 --> 00:00:38,126 Hey, what is going on? 17 00:00:38,210 --> 00:00:41,964 Um, Schmidt wants to know where in his room he looks the sexiest. 18 00:00:42,381 --> 00:00:44,591 Well, it's a big room. What are your choices? 19 00:00:44,675 --> 00:00:46,802 Okay, I'm glad you asked. All right… 20 00:00:48,011 --> 00:00:49,388 - Here… - Mmm. 21 00:00:52,265 --> 00:00:53,266 Here… 22 00:00:53,892 --> 00:00:56,436 Or here, you know, maybe just reading a book or… 23 00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:59,272 That's a lot of options. Could you do 'em again really fast? 24 00:00:59,356 --> 00:01:01,076 - You want to see 'em again? Okay. - Please. 25 00:01:01,108 --> 00:01:03,318 Here, here… 26 00:01:04,361 --> 00:01:05,362 Here. 27 00:01:05,445 --> 00:01:07,906 - Wait, what was the first one again? - Yeah. 28 00:01:07,990 --> 00:01:10,784 Okay, I get it. All laugh at Schmidt, great. 29 00:01:10,867 --> 00:01:13,662 Here, here… 30 00:01:14,121 --> 00:01:19,543 Hey, girl, whatcha doing? 31 00:01:19,626 --> 00:01:24,798 Hey girl, where you going? 32 00:01:24,881 --> 00:01:25,966 Who's that girl? 33 00:01:26,049 --> 00:01:27,426 Who's that girl? 34 00:01:27,509 --> 00:01:28,885 Who's that girl? 35 00:01:28,969 --> 00:01:31,346 - Who's that girl? - It's Jess! 36 00:01:36,018 --> 00:01:37,936 I'm so excited to meet him. 37 00:01:38,020 --> 00:01:39,730 No, Jess, he's sleeping. 38 00:01:39,813 --> 00:01:42,399 He flew in late last night. We took him straight to the bar. 39 00:01:42,482 --> 00:01:45,444 Took a bunch of shots, got drunk, screamed "I love America," 40 00:01:45,527 --> 00:01:47,237 now he's happily passed out. 41 00:01:47,946 --> 00:01:50,782 - Let's let him sleep. - Guess I'm not the new kid anymore. 42 00:01:50,866 --> 00:01:52,909 - Just one of the guys. - You're still the new kid. 43 00:01:52,993 --> 00:01:54,433 Winston lived here before Coach did. 44 00:01:54,494 --> 00:01:57,414 So Coach said they used to play basketball together in college, 45 00:01:57,497 --> 00:01:59,374 but then Winston went pro? 46 00:01:59,458 --> 00:02:01,835 In Latvia, okay? He went… Went pro in Latvia. 47 00:02:01,918 --> 00:02:03,045 It's a big difference. 48 00:02:03,128 --> 00:02:06,798 Well, the team logo is a fig, just a… Just one single fig. 49 00:02:06,882 --> 00:02:08,967 Oh, you're jealous. That's so cute. 50 00:02:09,051 --> 00:02:10,802 Of Winston? No, no, no. 51 00:02:10,886 --> 00:02:12,262 It's been two years. 52 00:02:12,346 --> 00:02:14,097 He's gonna have to recognize. 53 00:02:14,181 --> 00:02:16,183 I'm a lot flyer now. Want to see me flex my base? 54 00:02:16,266 --> 00:02:18,143 No, no, no, no, no, no. Put your shirt on. 55 00:02:18,226 --> 00:02:19,906 - Let me flex my base. - Put your shirt on. 56 00:02:19,936 --> 00:02:20,997 - Ba-boom. - It's the morning. 57 00:02:21,021 --> 00:02:22,648 He's gonna love it. 58 00:02:22,731 --> 00:02:24,483 Jess, what are you doing? 59 00:02:24,566 --> 00:02:25,942 What is… What is she doing? 60 00:02:31,406 --> 00:02:33,325 Who… Wh… 61 00:02:33,408 --> 00:02:34,409 I'm Jess. 62 00:02:34,493 --> 00:02:36,453 I'm Je… 63 00:02:36,828 --> 00:02:38,580 What's happening? 64 00:02:38,664 --> 00:02:40,540 Why are you doing that? 65 00:02:40,624 --> 00:02:42,668 …ess. 66 00:02:42,751 --> 00:02:44,795 I can't believe you didn't tell me he was hungover. 67 00:02:44,878 --> 00:02:46,922 I totally told you he was hungover. 68 00:02:47,005 --> 00:02:49,466 I said he was drunk at the bar and now he's passed out. 69 00:02:49,549 --> 00:02:50,676 Hi, Winston. 70 00:02:50,759 --> 00:02:53,887 Hey, I apologize for what happened before. 71 00:02:53,971 --> 00:02:55,138 Not cool, bad call. 72 00:02:55,222 --> 00:02:59,059 I've been talking to the guys about boundaries, 73 00:02:59,142 --> 00:03:00,143 so I totally get it. 74 00:03:00,227 --> 00:03:02,479 Perfectly fine, no problem. 75 00:03:02,771 --> 00:03:06,441 Do you have a tank top I could borrow? You look like you're about my size. 76 00:03:06,525 --> 00:03:08,610 It's just that I'm really low on clothes right now 77 00:03:08,694 --> 00:03:10,134 'cause I broke up with my boyfriend. 78 00:03:10,195 --> 00:03:11,655 - Oh, God. - I caught him cheating, 79 00:03:11,738 --> 00:03:13,198 and I grabbed whatever I could and… 80 00:03:13,281 --> 00:03:15,450 You know what? I'll let you check my lost and found. 81 00:03:15,534 --> 00:03:16,785 It's where I keep all the stuff 82 00:03:16,868 --> 00:03:19,162 that girls leave behind in my room after we fo'nicate. 83 00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:22,290 Got sizes 0 through 10. 84 00:03:22,374 --> 00:03:24,459 What have you done to me, Nick? 85 00:03:24,543 --> 00:03:26,878 I am so happy you're back. 86 00:03:28,714 --> 00:03:31,383 You have made love to a lot of forgetful women. 87 00:03:31,466 --> 00:03:33,969 Oh, man, look at these. Wow. 88 00:03:34,845 --> 00:03:38,307 Oh, look at that. Rosh Hashanah, '06. 89 00:03:38,390 --> 00:03:40,809 Yeah, nothing orthodox about what we did that night. 90 00:03:40,892 --> 00:03:42,185 Winston seems nice. 91 00:03:42,269 --> 00:03:43,937 Did he say anything to you about the room? 92 00:03:44,021 --> 00:03:45,564 - What room? - The big room. 93 00:03:45,647 --> 00:03:47,357 I kind of took it from him when he left. 94 00:03:47,441 --> 00:03:48,859 I used to be in the small room. 95 00:03:50,444 --> 00:03:51,945 This happened in the small room. 96 00:03:52,946 --> 00:03:54,031 Twice. 97 00:03:54,614 --> 00:03:56,908 Never going back there again, Jess. 98 00:03:56,992 --> 00:03:58,952 He's never gonna give you that room back. 99 00:03:59,036 --> 00:04:00,495 Come on, man, it's Schmidt. 100 00:04:00,579 --> 00:04:02,706 You know, they have a saying in Latvia… 101 00:04:02,789 --> 00:04:07,627 "That guy is so stupid, we could easily take things away from him." 102 00:04:07,711 --> 00:04:09,546 - That's a saying? - Yeah, it is. 103 00:04:09,629 --> 00:04:11,089 That's a weird saying. 104 00:04:13,967 --> 00:04:14,968 What do you think? 105 00:04:15,052 --> 00:04:16,803 Jess, I've been telling you this for weeks, 106 00:04:16,887 --> 00:04:19,556 but you got to call Spencer and you got to get your stuff back 107 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:22,768 unless, you know… Unless you're scared. 108 00:04:22,851 --> 00:04:26,938 No, I am not scared. It's just complicated. 109 00:04:27,564 --> 00:04:31,777 That stuff was… That stuff was ours, and I miss them… 110 00:04:31,860 --> 00:04:34,696 Jess, look, it's a ball. 111 00:04:35,822 --> 00:04:38,533 Oh, a little b-ball, huh? 112 00:04:38,617 --> 00:04:39,951 I'm actually pretty good. 113 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:42,329 I used to play with my mom. 114 00:04:42,412 --> 00:04:45,248 Defense, defense Watch out for the defense. 115 00:04:45,332 --> 00:04:47,793 Sneaky, sneaky, wah-wah. 116 00:04:47,876 --> 00:04:49,795 - You get used to her. - Hey, Schmidt. 117 00:04:50,337 --> 00:04:52,714 Oh, come on. 118 00:04:53,090 --> 00:04:54,841 - Oh. - Wow. 119 00:04:55,717 --> 00:04:56,927 Oh. 120 00:04:59,846 --> 00:05:01,264 My bad. 121 00:05:06,436 --> 00:05:07,938 I'm sorry, you guys. 122 00:05:08,021 --> 00:05:09,856 That was my TV, Jess. 123 00:05:09,940 --> 00:05:10,983 It's kind of all he had. 124 00:05:11,066 --> 00:05:12,275 I'll get you a new one. 125 00:05:12,359 --> 00:05:13,679 I just can't afford it right now. 126 00:05:13,735 --> 00:05:15,570 If you don't mind me asking, what's the plan? 127 00:05:15,654 --> 00:05:17,906 You don't know me like that, but I need a TV. 128 00:05:17,990 --> 00:05:19,190 Do you have a TV at Spencer's? 129 00:05:19,241 --> 00:05:22,119 Yeah, I do. It's just really big and thin and bright. 130 00:05:22,202 --> 00:05:23,412 - Go get it. - Go get it. 131 00:05:23,495 --> 00:05:25,789 No, I can't call Spencer. I haven't talked to him 132 00:05:25,872 --> 00:05:28,041 since he cheated on me with that ho. 133 00:05:28,125 --> 00:05:31,753 Actually, that's not fair. She might be a really nice ho. 134 00:05:31,837 --> 00:05:34,047 I just don't want to get in a big fight with Spencer. 135 00:05:34,131 --> 00:05:35,799 I want to be friends with him eventually. 136 00:05:35,882 --> 00:05:37,592 Why do you want to be friends with your ex? 137 00:05:37,676 --> 00:05:39,344 I don't want to be friends with Caroline, 138 00:05:39,428 --> 00:05:41,680 and all she did was rip me open and tear out my heart 139 00:05:41,763 --> 00:05:43,807 with her perfect, perfect hands. 140 00:05:45,225 --> 00:05:46,310 He has a power over me. 141 00:05:46,393 --> 00:05:49,021 It's like he's a wizard and I'm his mage. 142 00:05:49,104 --> 00:05:50,230 I think it's his hair. 143 00:05:50,314 --> 00:05:52,524 He has this, like, really beautiful hair, 144 00:05:52,607 --> 00:05:54,860 and whenever I see it, I get the whoo-whoos. 145 00:05:54,943 --> 00:05:57,654 - Oh, my God, I hate my life. - All right, guys, just… 146 00:05:57,738 --> 00:06:01,366 Look… Jess, I know. 147 00:06:02,242 --> 00:06:03,285 Closure. 148 00:06:04,536 --> 00:06:06,079 Ouch. 149 00:06:06,830 --> 00:06:07,831 Am I right? 150 00:06:07,914 --> 00:06:09,624 I don't know what you're saying right now. 151 00:06:09,708 --> 00:06:10,917 Okay, Jess, think about it. 152 00:06:11,001 --> 00:06:13,128 It's not that complicated. Just get the TV back. 153 00:06:13,211 --> 00:06:16,673 - I need a TV. - It's important. It's a television. 154 00:06:16,757 --> 00:06:19,176 It's what brings all of… Just get us the TV! 155 00:06:19,259 --> 00:06:20,427 Okay, it's not a big deal. 156 00:06:20,510 --> 00:06:25,098 I'll do it. I'll call Spencer and I will talk to him, 157 00:06:25,182 --> 00:06:30,103 and I will talk to him, so yay. 158 00:06:30,896 --> 00:06:32,147 Yay. 159 00:06:45,035 --> 00:06:46,328 Hi, Spencer. 160 00:06:53,585 --> 00:06:55,462 Hi, Jess-Jess. 161 00:06:58,340 --> 00:07:00,968 Wow, I missed this place. Mmm-mmm. 162 00:07:01,259 --> 00:07:03,011 How's your yogurt thing, Schmidt? 163 00:07:03,095 --> 00:07:04,888 Oh, the parfait? 164 00:07:05,097 --> 00:07:06,640 - It's parfait. - Come on, don't. 165 00:07:07,015 --> 00:07:09,726 Oh, hello. You look beautiful today. And smart. 166 00:07:09,810 --> 00:07:11,269 Stop talking to me, Schmidt. 167 00:07:11,353 --> 00:07:13,105 So you're making all the calls now, Schmidt. 168 00:07:13,188 --> 00:07:15,524 - Sure. - This must mean you are the top dog. 169 00:07:15,607 --> 00:07:16,608 Yeah? 170 00:07:17,567 --> 00:07:18,860 - Yeah? - Absolutely. 171 00:07:18,944 --> 00:07:23,699 You know, I'm glad you guys think that because, you know, I think that, too. 172 00:07:23,782 --> 00:07:24,783 100%. 173 00:07:24,866 --> 00:07:27,869 I mean, when I moved out, obviously there was a power vacuum. 174 00:07:27,953 --> 00:07:30,122 - Mmm-hmm. - Yeah, I needed a leader. 175 00:07:30,205 --> 00:07:31,581 I didn't know which end was up. 176 00:07:31,665 --> 00:07:34,042 No… I mean, Nick's a bottom… you know what I mean. 177 00:07:34,126 --> 00:07:35,210 Absolutely. 178 00:07:35,293 --> 00:07:38,880 Say, Winston, do all top dogs need the biggest room 179 00:07:38,964 --> 00:07:41,300 or is that kind of cheesy? Is it a little overkill? 180 00:07:41,383 --> 00:07:44,344 No, no. But I definitely see what you're saying, though. Definitely. 181 00:07:44,428 --> 00:07:48,015 Um, every top dog is different. Every top dog is different. 182 00:07:48,098 --> 00:07:50,809 Hey, Schmidt, what, uh, kind of top dog are you? 183 00:07:51,727 --> 00:07:53,103 The kind with the big room. 184 00:07:55,314 --> 00:07:56,773 I'm so glad we're talking. 185 00:07:56,857 --> 00:07:59,067 Last time I saw you, you were so mad. 186 00:07:59,151 --> 00:08:00,861 - How is, um… - Rochelle. 187 00:08:00,944 --> 00:08:03,280 Rochelle. Fancy name. 188 00:08:03,363 --> 00:08:04,448 - She's great. - Rochelle… 189 00:08:04,531 --> 00:08:06,366 - Like a mermaid. - Yeah. 190 00:08:06,450 --> 00:08:08,618 Hello, I'm Rochelle. 191 00:08:08,702 --> 00:08:10,370 I fish. 192 00:08:10,454 --> 00:08:11,830 Yeah, we have a lot in common. 193 00:08:11,913 --> 00:08:13,540 Obviously we both love bikes. 194 00:08:13,915 --> 00:08:15,584 I love bikes. 195 00:08:15,959 --> 00:08:17,127 Not enough. 196 00:08:18,003 --> 00:08:20,631 Um, Spencer, I need my stuff back. 197 00:08:20,714 --> 00:08:22,466 My TV, and all my winter clothes, 198 00:08:22,549 --> 00:08:23,860 - and my plants. - Yeah, of course. 199 00:08:23,884 --> 00:08:26,428 I would have brought it today, but I rode my bike here. 200 00:08:26,511 --> 00:08:27,888 You know, without the basket. 201 00:08:27,971 --> 00:08:30,307 Okay, well, when would be a good time for me to come… 202 00:08:30,390 --> 00:08:32,225 - So good to see you. - I really need my stu… 203 00:08:35,145 --> 00:08:36,688 I need something, too. 204 00:08:38,815 --> 00:08:41,068 Thanks for taking me to the airport, Jess. 205 00:08:41,151 --> 00:08:42,277 Of course. 206 00:08:42,361 --> 00:08:45,364 All you have is your bike, Rochelle. 207 00:08:45,447 --> 00:08:47,658 You want it. 208 00:08:47,741 --> 00:08:50,077 You got it. 209 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:52,329 You want it, baby. 210 00:08:52,412 --> 00:08:54,122 You got it, uh Just bust a move, uh. 211 00:08:54,206 --> 00:08:55,957 You want it. 212 00:08:59,878 --> 00:09:01,922 $550 for the TV? 213 00:09:02,005 --> 00:09:03,632 Seems a little steep. 214 00:09:04,174 --> 00:09:07,678 I'm gonna write down a figure, and this is as high as I'll go. 215 00:09:11,723 --> 00:09:13,684 You drew a smiley face. 216 00:09:13,767 --> 00:09:16,186 I'm a teacher. Do it for the kids. 217 00:09:16,603 --> 00:09:19,982 For the kids…$550. 218 00:09:20,065 --> 00:09:21,817 I can't go home without a TV. 219 00:09:22,317 --> 00:09:24,695 I thought pawnshops were about helping people, 220 00:09:24,778 --> 00:09:26,905 and frankly, right now I feel taken advantage of. 221 00:09:27,447 --> 00:09:29,574 And I just got out of a long relationship, 222 00:09:29,658 --> 00:09:31,827 and I don't know what I'm doing emotionally 223 00:09:31,910 --> 00:09:33,912 or, let's be honest, sexually. 224 00:09:36,373 --> 00:09:37,374 I'll just… 225 00:09:38,291 --> 00:09:39,668 Just get out of here. 226 00:09:45,632 --> 00:09:47,509 Are you trying to rob me? 227 00:09:54,182 --> 00:09:55,642 Hey, where's Winston at, man? 228 00:09:55,726 --> 00:09:57,519 I think he's in his room, Schmidt. 229 00:09:59,938 --> 00:10:01,231 You really think I'm top dog? 230 00:10:03,442 --> 00:10:04,443 Yes. 231 00:10:04,526 --> 00:10:06,111 You think I'm head baller, shot caller? 232 00:10:08,572 --> 00:10:10,115 Yeah, Schmidt, I feel that way. 233 00:10:12,117 --> 00:10:13,285 See that, man? 234 00:10:13,368 --> 00:10:16,121 That's my new thumb ring. How choice is that? 235 00:10:16,204 --> 00:10:18,707 Little skull… It's so nectar. 236 00:10:18,790 --> 00:10:20,208 Did you just make up "nectar"? 237 00:10:20,292 --> 00:10:21,668 No, it's a volleyball term. 238 00:10:21,752 --> 00:10:22,979 What is Winston doing in there? 239 00:10:23,003 --> 00:10:24,755 He can't hang out in there. It's too small. 240 00:10:24,838 --> 00:10:26,840 - What's up? - Yo, what up, Cece? 241 00:10:26,923 --> 00:10:28,175 Hey, are you all right? 242 00:10:28,258 --> 00:10:30,010 I'm sorry, I didn't get the TV. 243 00:10:30,093 --> 00:10:31,973 - What happened? - Ugh, I'm a terrible roommate. 244 00:10:32,054 --> 00:10:34,765 I mean, seriously, you guys told her to call Spencer? 245 00:10:34,848 --> 00:10:36,141 That is not your job. 246 00:10:36,224 --> 00:10:37,517 That is my job. 247 00:10:37,601 --> 00:10:38,721 All right, so what happened? 248 00:10:40,312 --> 00:10:42,397 He needed a ride to the airport. 249 00:10:42,481 --> 00:10:45,359 - What? - For his new girlfriend. 250 00:10:45,442 --> 00:10:46,836 - Are you kidding me? - You serious? 251 00:10:46,860 --> 00:10:49,363 I'm supposed to pick her up next Sunday. 252 00:10:49,446 --> 00:10:51,490 - Oh, my God, Jess. - Wow! 253 00:10:51,573 --> 00:10:52,949 What's wrong with me? 254 00:10:53,033 --> 00:10:55,744 I figured it out. This guy's your Kryptonite. 255 00:10:56,995 --> 00:10:59,665 You need to stand up, and you need to fight him. 256 00:10:59,748 --> 00:11:02,501 I tried to fight him, but I can't, 'cause I'm powerless. 257 00:11:02,584 --> 00:11:03,824 You're not ready to let him go. 258 00:11:04,211 --> 00:11:05,712 I think you know deep down, 259 00:11:05,796 --> 00:11:09,091 once you get your stuff back, you know, it's over over. 260 00:11:10,342 --> 00:11:12,803 I can't believe I'm actually gonna say this… 261 00:11:13,929 --> 00:11:15,305 But I agree with him. 262 00:11:18,225 --> 00:11:19,601 No, you guys are wrong. 263 00:11:19,685 --> 00:11:21,603 I really… I really want to move on. 264 00:11:21,687 --> 00:11:23,897 - Then you got to fight. - All right, I want to fight. 265 00:11:23,981 --> 00:11:25,440 - And get mad. - I want to get mad. 266 00:11:25,524 --> 00:11:26,900 All right, then do this. 267 00:11:26,984 --> 00:11:28,944 Pretend this is Spencer's face. Punch it. 268 00:11:32,114 --> 00:11:33,115 Get it. 269 00:11:35,575 --> 00:11:36,743 Come on, do it again. 270 00:11:37,035 --> 00:11:38,620 All right, punch it like a man. 271 00:11:38,704 --> 00:11:40,497 - Harder than that! - Come on, Jess. 272 00:11:40,580 --> 00:11:42,040 Come on, Jess, you're angry. 273 00:11:42,124 --> 00:11:43,750 - Good! - Get angry, for real angry. 274 00:11:43,834 --> 00:11:45,669 That's dancing. That's punch dancing. 275 00:11:45,752 --> 00:11:46,920 He broke your heart. 276 00:11:47,004 --> 00:11:48,755 He did terrible things to you. You hate him. 277 00:11:48,839 --> 00:11:50,090 - I'm mad! - Good. 278 00:11:50,173 --> 00:11:51,591 - There you go. - I'm bad! 279 00:11:51,675 --> 00:11:52,968 You're ready. Go get your stuff. 280 00:11:53,051 --> 00:11:54,970 - I'm gonna go get my stuff! - Go get it! 281 00:11:55,053 --> 00:11:56,346 - Come on, Jess. - Really mad! 282 00:11:56,430 --> 00:11:58,015 - Proud of you. - Gonna go get it. 283 00:11:58,098 --> 00:11:59,516 Get your stuff. 284 00:11:59,975 --> 00:12:01,685 I'm gonna face the facts. 285 00:12:01,768 --> 00:12:05,314 I'm gonna ask you guys right now to come with me. 286 00:12:07,691 --> 00:12:08,942 Seriously, guys. 287 00:12:09,026 --> 00:12:11,403 - All right, yeah. - I can't carry everything alone, 288 00:12:11,486 --> 00:12:12,654 and I can't be alone. 289 00:12:14,072 --> 00:12:16,450 Yeah! Loud music! 290 00:12:16,950 --> 00:12:19,995 Loud. It's loud. 291 00:12:20,078 --> 00:12:21,705 Okay, you are ruining my pre-game mix. 292 00:12:21,788 --> 00:12:25,125 - What am I gonna say? - "Hey, Spencer, give me my TV back." 293 00:12:25,208 --> 00:12:27,252 "Hi, Spencer. Give me my TV back, buddy." 294 00:12:27,336 --> 00:12:29,421 Hey, no "buddy." How about "jerk" or "idiot"? 295 00:12:29,504 --> 00:12:30,631 Mr. Crabs. 296 00:12:30,714 --> 00:12:32,674 Mr. Crabs is an option. 297 00:12:32,758 --> 00:12:34,468 Your hand is on my leg. 298 00:12:34,551 --> 00:12:36,011 Oh, your hand's on my leg. 299 00:12:36,094 --> 00:12:37,679 No, it really isn't. 300 00:12:37,763 --> 00:12:39,556 Classic he said, she said. 301 00:12:40,057 --> 00:12:42,392 Okay, Jess, just pull over right there. 302 00:12:46,355 --> 00:12:48,565 What are you doing? 303 00:12:48,649 --> 00:12:50,525 Okay, you know what? Just one more shot. 304 00:12:50,609 --> 00:12:53,570 One more time around, Jess, and then we're good. You got this. 305 00:12:53,945 --> 00:12:55,322 This is it. 306 00:12:58,575 --> 00:13:00,494 - Come on. - Just one more time. 307 00:13:00,577 --> 00:13:01,745 Gonna… 308 00:13:02,287 --> 00:13:04,039 Another… 309 00:13:05,082 --> 00:13:07,501 All right, this is the time. This is the time. Wow! 310 00:13:07,584 --> 00:13:10,837 One more shot. One more shot. Just one more. Just one more. 311 00:13:10,921 --> 00:13:13,090 - You know, I'm on to you. - What do you mean? 312 00:13:13,173 --> 00:13:15,217 Okay, you told me that I'm top dog, 313 00:13:15,300 --> 00:13:17,761 but secretly, you think you're top dog, all right? 314 00:13:17,844 --> 00:13:20,097 And now you're just trying to out-top dog the top dog. 315 00:13:20,180 --> 00:13:23,058 Jess, please take these doors off child-lock so I can kill myself. 316 00:13:23,141 --> 00:13:24,434 Men working. 317 00:13:24,518 --> 00:13:27,980 Look, things are different now, man. You're not top dog anymore. I am. 318 00:13:28,063 --> 00:13:30,023 Okay, you know what? You are absolutely correct. 319 00:13:30,107 --> 00:13:31,400 You are the top dog. 320 00:13:31,483 --> 00:13:34,069 - Here. - What… What are you doing? 321 00:13:34,152 --> 00:13:35,696 There's no top dog crown. 322 00:13:35,779 --> 00:13:37,406 You trying to make me look stupid? 323 00:13:37,489 --> 00:13:39,741 Look, man, this is about respect. 324 00:13:39,825 --> 00:13:41,326 I'm a lot flyer than I used to be. 325 00:13:41,410 --> 00:13:43,328 Yeah, much flyer. I respect you, Schmidt. 326 00:13:43,412 --> 00:13:44,538 No, you don't. 327 00:13:44,621 --> 00:13:46,790 Because if you did, you would have told me 328 00:13:46,873 --> 00:13:49,001 that the small room is the top dog room. 329 00:13:56,967 --> 00:13:59,720 Just when you thought our chance had past. 330 00:13:59,803 --> 00:14:01,930 - What? - I own this song. 331 00:14:02,014 --> 00:14:05,600 You go and save the best for last… 332 00:14:11,815 --> 00:14:13,275 What's happening? 333 00:14:13,358 --> 00:14:15,694 What's happening is that this is a great song. 334 00:14:19,197 --> 00:14:21,616 I'll be out here if you need me, Jess. 335 00:14:32,127 --> 00:14:34,087 Oh, Jess-Jess. 336 00:14:34,755 --> 00:14:37,549 That's the wizard? He's wearing a scrunchie. 337 00:14:37,633 --> 00:14:39,843 Looks like he juggles clubs on the beach. 338 00:14:39,926 --> 00:14:41,637 Yeah, like he'd ever have a job. 339 00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:44,973 Didn't you just kind of assume he'd have a handlebar moustache? 340 00:14:45,057 --> 00:14:47,517 Come on, Jess, just go in there and get that TV. 341 00:14:48,810 --> 00:14:50,646 I miss you, Jess. 342 00:14:50,729 --> 00:14:51,897 Don't hug him back. 343 00:14:53,732 --> 00:14:55,609 - Ugh! - Oh, that's not healthy. 344 00:14:59,029 --> 00:15:00,822 I told you to water the plants. 345 00:15:00,906 --> 00:15:03,283 Huh? Oh. Oh, you know it's not my thing. 346 00:15:04,076 --> 00:15:06,036 I told you to water the plants. 347 00:15:08,372 --> 00:15:09,956 Uh-oh, uh-oh. 348 00:15:12,125 --> 00:15:13,960 What is she doing? 349 00:15:14,044 --> 00:15:16,004 - Oh! - Oh, what a mess! 350 00:15:17,631 --> 00:15:19,216 I'm coming in! 351 00:15:19,299 --> 00:15:22,511 Jess, take your shoes off! We keep an Asian household. 352 00:15:22,594 --> 00:15:23,929 Didn't see that coming. 353 00:15:24,721 --> 00:15:26,223 She going to be okay in there? 354 00:15:26,306 --> 00:15:27,933 Put that down! Put that down! 355 00:15:28,016 --> 00:15:29,726 Jess, wait, wait, wait! 356 00:15:29,810 --> 00:15:31,687 Let's sit down and just talk about this, okay? 357 00:15:31,770 --> 00:15:33,105 Hold on. No, that's mine. 358 00:15:33,188 --> 00:15:34,648 You can't take that. 359 00:15:34,731 --> 00:15:36,108 Jess, hold up. 360 00:15:36,191 --> 00:15:37,776 Let's… What are you doing? 361 00:15:38,568 --> 00:15:40,487 I got it! 362 00:15:40,570 --> 00:15:42,531 It's really heavy, but I got it! 363 00:15:42,614 --> 00:15:45,075 Oh, my God, we created a monster. 364 00:15:45,158 --> 00:15:47,202 She looks like Helena Bonham Carter. 365 00:15:47,285 --> 00:15:48,829 Oh, God, she's gonna drop… 366 00:15:48,912 --> 00:15:50,205 Soft hands, Jess. 367 00:15:50,288 --> 00:15:53,166 Jess, come on, let's share it. You know, work out a system. 368 00:15:54,418 --> 00:15:57,170 Hey. Hey, that's my shirt. 369 00:15:57,254 --> 00:15:59,631 - No, this is my T-shirt. - No, that is my shirt. 370 00:15:59,715 --> 00:16:00,799 It has my name on it. 371 00:16:00,882 --> 00:16:01,967 Don't drop it. Jess, don't… 372 00:16:02,050 --> 00:16:03,719 Don't… Don't drop it… Don't… 373 00:16:03,802 --> 00:16:05,304 Come on, everybody out now. 374 00:16:05,387 --> 00:16:07,139 No, no, no, no! 375 00:16:07,222 --> 00:16:08,890 - Give me my shirt! - I like this shirt. 376 00:16:08,974 --> 00:16:11,268 Hey, Jess, no, no, no, no, no. Stop, stop, stop, stop. 377 00:16:11,351 --> 00:16:13,603 Sorry. Don't mind us, pal. We're just here for the TV. 378 00:16:13,687 --> 00:16:15,447 - Who are these guys? - They're my roommates. 379 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:18,025 - Cece, hi. Hey. - I'll get the rest of your stuff, Jess. 380 00:16:18,108 --> 00:16:20,110 Wait, Jess, let's just talk about this, okay? 381 00:16:20,193 --> 00:16:21,403 You know, rap it out. 382 00:16:21,486 --> 00:16:23,488 We can't rap it out. We're not together anymore. 383 00:16:23,572 --> 00:16:26,199 - It's not the same. - Doesn't mean we can't talk about things. 384 00:16:26,283 --> 00:16:28,535 There's nothing to talk about. Give me my shirt back. 385 00:16:28,618 --> 00:16:31,121 No, you gave this to me. I want to keep it. 386 00:16:31,204 --> 00:16:32,497 Give her her T-shirt, man. 387 00:16:32,581 --> 00:16:35,917 No, I don't want to. I gave her this hat, too, so I'm gonna take this back. 388 00:16:36,001 --> 00:16:37,377 - This one? You want that? - Yeah. 389 00:16:37,627 --> 00:16:40,339 Then I dare you, come take it off my head, pal. 390 00:16:43,216 --> 00:16:44,593 I dare you. 391 00:16:48,722 --> 00:16:50,015 You guys look ridiculous. 392 00:16:50,098 --> 00:16:51,725 Look, dude, give her the shirt back. 393 00:16:51,808 --> 00:16:53,328 I bet she worked hard on that jamboree. 394 00:16:53,393 --> 00:16:56,438 Yeah, a play on words… Jam-boree. 395 00:16:56,521 --> 00:16:57,606 - Jam. - Jam. 396 00:16:57,689 --> 00:17:00,067 Girl made a lot of jam, Spence. 397 00:17:00,150 --> 00:17:02,152 You know how time-consuming that can be? 398 00:17:02,235 --> 00:17:05,947 You need a jar funnel, a canner, some fresh fruit… 399 00:17:06,031 --> 00:17:09,826 Strawberries, raspberries, maybe a tayberry, maybe a ripe… 400 00:17:09,910 --> 00:17:11,036 No more fruit, man. 401 00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:13,413 You live with these people, Jess? Seriously? 402 00:17:13,497 --> 00:17:15,123 Stay here until you find a better place. 403 00:17:15,207 --> 00:17:16,875 You know what? I don't like you, stretch. 404 00:17:16,958 --> 00:17:19,378 I don't like anything about you, and I'm not afraid to… 405 00:17:19,461 --> 00:17:20,712 I got this. 406 00:17:25,467 --> 00:17:27,719 I've got a place to live, Spence. 407 00:17:28,053 --> 00:17:29,388 It's over. 408 00:17:30,055 --> 00:17:33,225 I spent six years trying to figure you out. 409 00:17:33,308 --> 00:17:37,145 All you are is a guy with really beautiful hair. 410 00:17:37,229 --> 00:17:39,272 I'm happy you cheated on me. 411 00:17:39,356 --> 00:17:40,357 Thank you. 412 00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:44,069 Because if you hadn't, I would have married you. 413 00:17:44,152 --> 00:17:46,488 And then you would have hurt me all over again. 414 00:17:48,532 --> 00:17:50,909 And, yeah, I was scared to start over. 415 00:17:50,993 --> 00:17:52,452 I didn't know what to do, 416 00:17:52,536 --> 00:17:55,372 and yeah, I'm living with three guys I met on the Internet. 417 00:17:55,455 --> 00:17:57,249 And yeah, stranger danger is real. 418 00:17:57,332 --> 00:17:59,126 But I love these guys. 419 00:18:01,128 --> 00:18:02,796 I barely know them. 420 00:18:02,879 --> 00:18:05,716 I just met him, but I love them. 421 00:18:05,799 --> 00:18:07,968 I would just take it easy with the love stuff. 422 00:18:08,051 --> 00:18:09,386 All of them. 423 00:18:13,974 --> 00:18:16,101 Give her the shirt back, man. 424 00:18:19,896 --> 00:18:21,023 What happens if I say no? 425 00:18:21,106 --> 00:18:22,733 You know what happens? 426 00:18:23,525 --> 00:18:25,068 Schmidt happens! 427 00:18:25,444 --> 00:18:26,445 Ow! 428 00:18:26,695 --> 00:18:27,904 What was on your hand? 429 00:18:27,988 --> 00:18:29,197 Thumb ring, bitch! 430 00:18:29,281 --> 00:18:31,199 You got some Schmidt on your face. 431 00:18:32,993 --> 00:18:35,662 You know what? Fine! Here, take it! 432 00:18:36,371 --> 00:18:38,540 - Keep the bell. - Hey. What? 433 00:18:40,584 --> 00:18:43,670 You know, I thought we were gonna handle this like adults, Jess. 434 00:18:44,046 --> 00:18:47,132 Yeah, well, I thought you were the love of my life, so… 435 00:18:49,384 --> 00:18:51,470 Suck it, Mr. Crabs. 436 00:19:07,861 --> 00:19:09,488 You hit that guy. 437 00:19:09,988 --> 00:19:11,657 Whatevs. You know. 438 00:19:13,241 --> 00:19:14,576 You know what? 439 00:19:14,660 --> 00:19:17,037 Maybe I didn't have respect for you before, 440 00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:19,456 because if this is what respecting you feels like, 441 00:19:19,831 --> 00:19:21,833 then this is definitely not how I felt. 442 00:19:21,917 --> 00:19:25,921 So, you recognize. Represent, what? 443 00:19:26,672 --> 00:19:28,799 Okay, look, I'm gonna be completely honest. 444 00:19:28,882 --> 00:19:30,175 I've been messing with you. 445 00:19:30,258 --> 00:19:32,344 But it's just that I wanted my old room back. 446 00:19:32,427 --> 00:19:34,304 You know, you're right. 447 00:19:34,388 --> 00:19:37,182 I've been away a long time, and things have changed around here, 448 00:19:37,265 --> 00:19:39,101 so I guess I kind of got to get used to that. 449 00:19:39,184 --> 00:19:40,477 You keep the big room. 450 00:19:41,061 --> 00:19:43,480 See, now you're just deep dogging me, man. 451 00:19:43,563 --> 00:19:46,358 I'm not scared of your mind games. 452 00:19:46,441 --> 00:19:49,403 I'm taking the small room, Winston. 453 00:19:49,486 --> 00:19:51,279 Schmidt, that's not what I mean, but… 454 00:19:51,363 --> 00:19:52,990 No. Why don't you listen to what I mean? 455 00:19:53,073 --> 00:19:57,494 You can double reverse dog me until the cows come home. 456 00:19:57,577 --> 00:19:59,162 I'm not falling for it. 457 00:19:59,830 --> 00:20:03,208 What do you take me for, some kind of idiot? 458 00:20:05,585 --> 00:20:07,004 Yes. 459 00:20:10,841 --> 00:20:12,676 I can't believe I got all my stuff back. 460 00:20:12,759 --> 00:20:15,887 You did, but most of it's broken. 461 00:20:15,971 --> 00:20:19,182 Yeah, it's broken, but I don't know, it's mine. 462 00:20:19,266 --> 00:20:20,892 Yeah, but it's broken. 463 00:20:20,976 --> 00:20:22,227 Hey, look at that. 464 00:20:22,311 --> 00:20:23,937 - I think it's working. - Oh, my God! 465 00:20:24,021 --> 00:20:26,815 - We got a TV again. - It's a TV, and it's working. 466 00:20:26,898 --> 00:20:28,650 Hey, we got the TV back! 467 00:20:29,318 --> 00:20:30,652 All right! 468 00:20:31,820 --> 00:20:33,572 You guys are awesome. 469 00:20:33,655 --> 00:20:35,824 I'm going to make you so much jam. 470 00:20:35,907 --> 00:20:37,075 Please don't. 471 00:20:37,159 --> 00:20:39,077 Oh, we're gonna have a jam sess. 472 00:20:39,161 --> 00:20:40,329 Absolutely not. 473 00:20:44,458 --> 00:20:45,834 Okay, what are we watching? 474 00:20:46,293 --> 00:20:47,669 I have some DVDs. 475 00:20:47,753 --> 00:20:50,047 Um, Adventures in Babysitting, 476 00:20:50,130 --> 00:20:53,091 uh, Prancer, Newsies, Curly Sue. 477 00:20:53,550 --> 00:20:54,843 I'm going out. 478 00:20:54,926 --> 00:20:56,011 Yeah. 479 00:20:57,846 --> 00:21:00,849 Wait. Where are you guys going? 480 00:21:01,808 --> 00:21:03,810 These are heartwarming films. 481 00:21:07,272 --> 00:21:09,941 Curly Sue. Let's do this. 482 00:21:10,025 --> 00:21:11,610 All right, let me go get it.