1 00:00:00,966 --> 00:00:03,636 Nick, go out ten yards, cut left. Winston, go long, post right. 2 00:00:03,719 --> 00:00:05,679 Jess, go down, out towards the parking lot. 3 00:00:05,763 --> 00:00:07,681 Get in the car. We'll meet you back at the loft. 4 00:00:07,765 --> 00:00:10,351 Oh, very funny. You're a comedian, Schmidt. 5 00:00:13,896 --> 00:00:14,897 Hike! 6 00:00:17,983 --> 00:00:19,902 Schmidt! Come on! 7 00:00:21,612 --> 00:00:23,239 - Oh! - Did you see that? 8 00:00:23,322 --> 00:00:25,241 - Are you okay? - Yes, I'm oka… 9 00:00:27,535 --> 00:00:28,869 Nick… 10 00:00:28,953 --> 00:00:30,704 - Oh, my God! - Nick, I'm so sorry. 11 00:00:30,788 --> 00:00:31,956 - This is real! - Nick… 12 00:00:32,039 --> 00:00:33,600 - Probably your lateral sizer. - Shut up! 13 00:00:33,624 --> 00:00:36,502 Can you just… Okay, let's go. 14 00:00:36,585 --> 00:00:37,586 Rotator cuff? 15 00:00:37,670 --> 00:00:38,879 - Can I…? - No! 16 00:00:38,963 --> 00:00:40,548 - What do you need? - Nothing from you. 17 00:00:40,631 --> 00:00:43,259 Please go far from me right now. I can taste my spine. 18 00:00:43,342 --> 00:00:45,010 Three or four down there… Vertebrae., 19 00:00:45,094 --> 00:00:47,012 Why is no one helping me? 20 00:00:47,096 --> 00:00:49,640 Not you! Not you! 21 00:00:50,516 --> 00:00:55,271 Hey, girl, whatcha doing? 22 00:00:56,021 --> 00:01:00,443 Hey, girl, where you going? 23 00:01:00,734 --> 00:01:02,111 Who's that girl? 24 00:01:02,194 --> 00:01:03,529 Who's that girl? 25 00:01:03,612 --> 00:01:04,864 Who's that girl? 26 00:01:04,947 --> 00:01:05,990 Who's that girl? 27 00:01:06,073 --> 00:01:07,074 It's Jess! 28 00:01:12,329 --> 00:01:15,583 Are you sure you're okay? 29 00:01:15,666 --> 00:01:17,126 You're walking like a Disney witch. 30 00:01:17,209 --> 00:01:18,311 Let me drive you to your doctor. 31 00:01:18,335 --> 00:01:20,838 I don't have a doctor. I don't have insurance. 32 00:01:20,921 --> 00:01:22,506 Nick, you need to see a doctor, 33 00:01:22,590 --> 00:01:24,425 if only to make sure that your junk is clean. 34 00:01:24,508 --> 00:01:26,820 - I don't go to doctors. - I'll take you to my friend Sadie. 35 00:01:26,844 --> 00:01:28,613 She'll just look at you, she won't charge you. 36 00:01:28,637 --> 00:01:30,556 Okay, I don't go to doctors! 37 00:01:30,639 --> 00:01:31,867 Are you sure you're okay driving? 38 00:01:31,891 --> 00:01:34,101 Yes, I'm fine. I've never been better. 39 00:01:34,185 --> 00:01:35,978 I'm great. Thank you. 40 00:01:38,189 --> 00:01:41,025 I'm feeling better already. See you guys back at the loft. 41 00:01:41,108 --> 00:01:42,318 Oh, my God! 42 00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:46,238 - What did you just…? - I'm okay. 43 00:01:46,322 --> 00:01:48,449 - I'm okay. Don't worry. - Oh! What did you do? 44 00:01:48,532 --> 00:01:50,326 You hit my car! 45 00:01:50,409 --> 00:01:51,786 I'm okay. 46 00:01:51,869 --> 00:01:53,537 Oh, Winston, relax. 47 00:01:53,621 --> 00:01:54,997 Okay? Relax. 48 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:58,125 That's all I did. I did this. The rest was already there. 49 00:01:58,209 --> 00:01:59,960 Actually, I think I undid a dent there. 50 00:02:00,044 --> 00:02:01,813 I'm taking you to see my friend. Get in my car. 51 00:02:01,837 --> 00:02:03,714 - No… Jess, no. - Oh! Now! 52 00:02:04,340 --> 00:02:06,342 So she's fitting us in between patients. 53 00:02:17,770 --> 00:02:18,938 Jess? 54 00:02:19,271 --> 00:02:20,606 Is Sadie a gynecologist? 55 00:02:20,689 --> 00:02:22,775 No, she's an OB/GYN. 56 00:02:22,858 --> 00:02:24,211 - I'm gonna go. - It's a different thing. 57 00:02:24,235 --> 00:02:25,504 I'm gonna get out of here, actually, I think. 58 00:02:25,528 --> 00:02:26,737 Yeah? I don't think you are. 59 00:02:30,825 --> 00:02:33,702 Nick, she's a wizard with a speculum. 60 00:02:33,786 --> 00:02:36,122 - Nick! - I don't have a vagina. 61 00:02:36,205 --> 00:02:37,832 You can take mine. 62 00:02:37,915 --> 00:02:39,375 I heard that, sister. 63 00:02:39,458 --> 00:02:41,252 True dat. 64 00:02:41,335 --> 00:02:42,670 Okay, you know what, Nick? 65 00:02:42,753 --> 00:02:46,465 I'm sorry that my only doctor friend is a gynecologist, 66 00:02:46,549 --> 00:02:47,758 but you're broke, 67 00:02:47,842 --> 00:02:50,862 so you're going to have to shut your mouth and you're going to tag the things 68 00:02:50,886 --> 00:02:52,763 that you want in this Lucky magazine. 69 00:02:53,139 --> 00:02:54,574 We're gonna have to put this baby to bed. 70 00:02:54,598 --> 00:02:56,392 No. No, no, no, Sherman, look, uh, 71 00:02:56,475 --> 00:02:58,018 I don't think you understand, man. 72 00:02:58,102 --> 00:02:59,704 This car's been with me through everything, 73 00:02:59,728 --> 00:03:01,480 so… if you could just fix it. 74 00:03:01,564 --> 00:03:04,275 This is not really officially a car anymore. 75 00:03:04,358 --> 00:03:06,318 You didn't even buy the thing, it was given to you 76 00:03:06,402 --> 00:03:09,196 as an illegal recruitment gift from a college you didn't even go to. 77 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:11,991 - Things happened in this car. - Like what? Desert Storm? 78 00:03:12,074 --> 00:03:13,117 Oh, things happened. 79 00:03:13,868 --> 00:03:15,953 - Is this your car? - Yeah. 80 00:03:18,747 --> 00:03:19,874 Cool. 81 00:03:19,957 --> 00:03:20,958 Anytime. 82 00:03:21,750 --> 00:03:23,270 It's time for you to buy a new car, man. 83 00:03:23,294 --> 00:03:25,379 - You buy a new car! - I bought a new car. 84 00:03:25,463 --> 00:03:28,841 It's what you borrow every morning when this one makes the weird sound. 85 00:03:32,470 --> 00:03:34,156 - That's not a good sound. - Just give me the keys. 86 00:03:34,180 --> 00:03:35,514 You shouldn't call them keys. 87 00:03:35,598 --> 00:03:37,516 It's a paper clip that you start the car with. 88 00:03:40,853 --> 00:03:43,022 See? That was the noise I was telling you about. 89 00:03:43,105 --> 00:03:44,315 Shut up. 90 00:03:45,691 --> 00:03:47,860 You know you don't have to sit like that. 91 00:03:47,943 --> 00:03:50,279 It's the only way that it feels okay, Jess. 92 00:03:50,988 --> 00:03:51,989 - Jess! - Sadie. 93 00:03:52,072 --> 00:03:53,616 - Hey. - Hey. How are you? 94 00:03:53,699 --> 00:03:55,075 Good. How are you? 95 00:03:55,159 --> 00:03:56,744 - Good to see you again, Nick. - Hey. 96 00:03:56,827 --> 00:03:57,953 Hi. 97 00:03:58,037 --> 00:03:59,723 We were playing football, and I tackled him. 98 00:03:59,747 --> 00:04:01,373 Well, that's not exactly how I saw it. 99 00:04:01,457 --> 00:04:04,293 Oh, I'm surprised you got hurt. You're such a big boy. 100 00:04:04,376 --> 00:04:06,587 Jess tackled a girl I was dating once. 101 00:04:06,670 --> 00:04:08,506 Oh, yeah. She tried to steal my overalls. 102 00:04:08,589 --> 00:04:10,049 Okay, so… does that hurt? 103 00:04:10,132 --> 00:04:11,943 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, yes! - All right. 104 00:04:11,967 --> 00:04:13,094 Does that hurt? 105 00:04:13,177 --> 00:04:14,470 All right. He can flip over. 106 00:04:14,553 --> 00:04:16,388 Okay. 107 00:04:17,264 --> 00:04:18,265 Okay. 108 00:04:18,349 --> 00:04:19,934 So… listen. 109 00:04:20,267 --> 00:04:23,145 This is not an official examination, 110 00:04:23,229 --> 00:04:26,273 and I am not officially telling you that you bruised your spine, 111 00:04:26,357 --> 00:04:29,068 and I am not officially giving you these pills 112 00:04:29,151 --> 00:04:30,945 - to manage the pain. - Okay. 113 00:04:32,613 --> 00:04:34,073 - Okay. - So… 114 00:04:35,241 --> 00:04:36,426 Please don't take those pills. 115 00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:38,130 - Take the pills. - Don't take those pills. 116 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:40,287 - Take the pills. - Nobody prescribed them. 117 00:04:40,371 --> 00:04:41,848 - Why would you take them? - Take them. Take them. 118 00:04:41,872 --> 00:04:43,141 - No. That's bad. - That's a code. Take them. 119 00:04:43,165 --> 00:04:46,085 - That means do it. - Don't do that. No… 120 00:04:46,168 --> 00:04:48,212 Those are designed for severe menstrual cramps, 121 00:04:48,295 --> 00:04:50,381 so they should cure your baby backache. 122 00:04:51,132 --> 00:04:52,967 "Baby backache." 123 00:04:53,050 --> 00:04:54,301 Wait. Stop. 124 00:04:55,553 --> 00:04:57,179 Hey, take another sip of water. 125 00:05:02,935 --> 00:05:04,937 - Yeah, um… What? What's wrong? 126 00:05:05,020 --> 00:05:06,581 No, it's your thyroid. I noticed something 127 00:05:06,605 --> 00:05:08,208 while you were swallowing. Do you mind if I…? 128 00:05:08,232 --> 00:05:09,418 I mean, I don't know what choice I have. 129 00:05:09,442 --> 00:05:11,569 - Do it, Nick! - Okay, Jess. Stop. 130 00:05:12,111 --> 00:05:13,654 Yeah, he has a growth. 131 00:05:14,405 --> 00:05:15,739 Oh, my God. 132 00:05:15,823 --> 00:05:17,241 - A growth. - Oh, no. I… 133 00:05:17,324 --> 00:05:19,368 - Everything works. I can swallow. - Oh, my God. 134 00:05:19,452 --> 00:05:20,846 Everything's fine. I know what you're talking about. 135 00:05:20,870 --> 00:05:22,746 - You knew about this? - Yes. 136 00:05:22,830 --> 00:05:24,832 - So you've had it checked out? - No, no, I didn't. 137 00:05:24,915 --> 00:05:26,715 I don't have that stuff checked out. I'm fine. 138 00:05:26,792 --> 00:05:28,687 I can set up an ultrasound tomorrow morning first thing. 139 00:05:28,711 --> 00:05:29,712 I've got a friend. 140 00:05:29,795 --> 00:05:31,273 I can't really afford an ultrasound, but… 141 00:05:31,297 --> 00:05:33,591 - You're going to have to, so… Yeah. 142 00:05:33,674 --> 00:05:34,735 All right. So I'll set that up? 143 00:05:34,759 --> 00:05:36,135 - Absolutely. - Okay. Right. 144 00:05:36,218 --> 00:05:37,678 Make sure he goes, Jess. 145 00:05:39,138 --> 00:05:41,932 - Don't look at me like that, Jess. - It's probably nothing. 146 00:05:42,016 --> 00:05:43,267 Yeah, it's nothing. 147 00:05:44,643 --> 00:05:46,479 Oh, God. 148 00:05:47,813 --> 00:05:49,899 Put the baby's head at the bottom. 149 00:06:00,034 --> 00:06:01,869 I'm not going to go tomorrow. 150 00:06:01,952 --> 00:06:04,497 I'm really not, because I don't want to get an ultrasound. 151 00:06:04,580 --> 00:06:05,748 I just don't have time. 152 00:06:05,831 --> 00:06:07,416 No, I've got some writing I got to do. 153 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:11,170 The truth is, with working out, I've got some people to see, 154 00:06:11,253 --> 00:06:13,506 so I just can't make it. I lost a stamp. 155 00:06:14,548 --> 00:06:17,093 It sounds worse than it is, but it's a somewhat expensive stamp 156 00:06:17,176 --> 00:06:19,220 and I had planned on looking for it. 157 00:06:19,303 --> 00:06:21,180 One of the reasons I moved to Los Angeles 158 00:06:21,263 --> 00:06:23,557 was to get closer to whales, so I can record them. 159 00:06:23,641 --> 00:06:26,727 I haven't gotten around to it because where we live is actually east. 160 00:06:26,811 --> 00:06:28,497 It's way farther from the ocean than I expected. 161 00:06:28,521 --> 00:06:31,649 I appreciate your concern. It is really sweet. It's nice. 162 00:06:32,858 --> 00:06:34,538 But this machine's still kicking, you know? 163 00:06:34,610 --> 00:06:35,945 You're going. 164 00:06:36,028 --> 00:06:37,321 And I know you're scared, 165 00:06:37,404 --> 00:06:39,990 but you know what my mom used to do when I got scared? 166 00:06:40,491 --> 00:06:41,659 A Daffy Duck impression. 167 00:06:41,742 --> 00:06:42,969 Please don't do what you're about to do. 168 00:06:42,993 --> 00:06:44,578 Hey, Nicholas. 169 00:06:44,662 --> 00:06:46,956 I'm sorry you have a lump in your throat. 170 00:06:47,039 --> 00:06:48,833 That's despicable! 171 00:06:51,210 --> 00:06:52,628 Sorry. Too much? 172 00:06:55,131 --> 00:06:56,132 Okay. 173 00:06:56,215 --> 00:06:58,259 - I got to go to work. - I'll come with you. 174 00:06:58,342 --> 00:06:59,510 Oh, absolutely not. 175 00:06:59,593 --> 00:07:01,262 - I'll just sit by the bar. - No way. 176 00:07:06,892 --> 00:07:09,395 You told them, Jess? Really, it's not a big deal. 177 00:07:09,478 --> 00:07:11,355 - Don't tell them. - We're just hanging out. 178 00:07:13,607 --> 00:07:15,401 - With my best friend. - Come on, Schmidt. 179 00:07:16,026 --> 00:07:17,820 What are you do…? 180 00:07:18,446 --> 00:07:20,865 You just Fredo-kiss me? What's your problem? 181 00:07:20,948 --> 00:07:22,741 Go sit down. 182 00:07:22,825 --> 00:07:25,011 - You're going to beat this, man. - I don't have anything. 183 00:07:25,035 --> 00:07:27,830 What is going on with you guys? Thanks for telling them. 184 00:07:31,584 --> 00:07:33,419 I take those, too. 185 00:07:33,502 --> 00:07:35,421 When I got a heavy flow. 186 00:07:35,504 --> 00:07:36,505 Good to know. 187 00:07:36,589 --> 00:07:37,590 - Hey. - Hey. 188 00:07:39,008 --> 00:07:40,843 - So I heard. - Of course you did. 189 00:07:41,594 --> 00:07:44,054 Can I get a vodka soda? 190 00:07:44,138 --> 00:07:45,890 Thank you. You being normal… 191 00:07:45,973 --> 00:07:47,683 - Vodka soda. - Okay. 192 00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:50,394 It's because he refuses to wear a Bluetooth. You know that. 193 00:07:50,478 --> 00:07:54,106 I gave him one for his birthday, too, but he just laughed in my face. 194 00:07:54,190 --> 00:07:55,858 Gave it back to me for Hanukkah. 195 00:07:55,941 --> 00:07:59,653 Well, according to this Web site, it could be a colloid nodule. 196 00:08:00,654 --> 00:08:02,823 But that's most common in golden retrievers. 197 00:08:02,907 --> 00:08:05,326 I thought my lifestyle choices would rub off on him. 198 00:08:05,409 --> 00:08:08,245 I tried to set a good example. Treat your body like a temple. 199 00:08:08,329 --> 00:08:10,414 Treat your body like a temple. 200 00:08:10,498 --> 00:08:12,249 But he treats his like a dump. 201 00:08:12,333 --> 00:08:14,543 - Like a dump! - Let me see this. 202 00:08:15,419 --> 00:08:18,255 - Oh, my God. - Hey, hey. 203 00:08:18,339 --> 00:08:22,343 My friends. Can I just say that these pills are amazing? 204 00:08:23,260 --> 00:08:25,221 I feel, like, really warm in my uterus. 205 00:08:25,304 --> 00:08:26,889 Oh! I feel good. 206 00:08:26,972 --> 00:08:28,182 Feel real good. 207 00:08:29,558 --> 00:08:30,893 What's with the long faces? 208 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:32,561 Schmidt? 209 00:08:32,645 --> 00:08:34,772 Just looking at you and your beautiful soul. 210 00:08:34,855 --> 00:08:37,650 Big, strong Nick. He's a champ. 211 00:08:37,733 --> 00:08:40,128 I wish I could trade places with you, 'cause you know what, Nick? 212 00:08:40,152 --> 00:08:41,821 I would do it in a second. 213 00:08:43,030 --> 00:08:44,490 But I'm also glad that I can't. 214 00:08:44,573 --> 00:08:46,051 Okay, what is going on with you three? 215 00:08:46,075 --> 00:08:48,994 - Oh, God. - Jess? 216 00:08:49,078 --> 00:08:50,788 - Oh, God. - Hey, are you okay? 217 00:08:50,871 --> 00:08:52,265 You're gonna freak him out. You're gonna freak him out. 218 00:08:52,289 --> 00:08:53,892 - You're freaking everybody out. - Why are you crying? 219 00:08:53,916 --> 00:08:55,560 - Schmidt, are you crying? - You're not helping. 220 00:08:55,584 --> 00:08:57,503 'Cause you're making me cry with your emotion. 221 00:08:59,630 --> 00:09:01,006 Really, Winston? You? 222 00:09:01,090 --> 00:09:02,526 It's just that I love you so much, man. 223 00:09:02,550 --> 00:09:04,093 Stop it. Enough. 224 00:09:04,176 --> 00:09:06,720 Hey, I'm fine. Just stop it. 225 00:09:06,804 --> 00:09:08,514 How do you know you're fine, Nick? 226 00:09:13,185 --> 00:09:15,438 Is that… Would that be where… In my neck? 227 00:09:23,362 --> 00:09:24,738 - I'm not going to lie. - Mm-hmm. 228 00:09:24,822 --> 00:09:27,032 I think the pills are on top of me a little bit. 229 00:09:27,116 --> 00:09:28,659 I think you're right. 230 00:09:28,742 --> 00:09:30,786 It's so sad. 231 00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:34,498 Yeah, it's really sad your friend's getting an ultrasound tomorrow. 232 00:09:34,582 --> 00:09:36,417 It's just so hard. 233 00:09:39,670 --> 00:09:41,839 Are you using your best friend's medical crisis 234 00:09:41,922 --> 00:09:43,549 to feel my boobs with your face? 235 00:09:43,632 --> 00:09:46,594 Why isn't the whole world making love all at the same time? 236 00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:48,095 How many… 237 00:09:48,637 --> 00:09:50,890 Ears does Daniel Boone have? 238 00:09:52,224 --> 00:09:53,809 He's got a… a right ear, 239 00:09:53,893 --> 00:09:56,103 a left ear and a… front ear. 240 00:09:56,562 --> 00:09:57,646 "Frontier." Get it? 241 00:09:59,690 --> 00:10:02,026 You don't get to speak at my funeral. 242 00:10:02,943 --> 00:10:05,404 - What? - For sure. 100%. 243 00:10:05,488 --> 00:10:06,781 What? Why? 244 00:10:06,864 --> 00:10:08,783 - Because of that joke. - Yeah, but… 245 00:10:08,866 --> 00:10:12,328 Jess, you don't want to talk at a funeral. I've tried that once. 246 00:10:12,912 --> 00:10:17,666 What kind of dummy fixes a washing machine using a knife? 247 00:10:18,709 --> 00:10:20,127 This kind of dummy! 248 00:10:20,377 --> 00:10:21,796 It did not go well. 249 00:10:21,879 --> 00:10:24,340 I don't want you talking at my funeral! 250 00:10:24,423 --> 00:10:26,092 - Okay. - You can go to my funeral, 251 00:10:26,175 --> 00:10:27,259 but you can't talk. 252 00:10:27,343 --> 00:10:29,512 - Why? - My funeral is my time to shine. 253 00:10:30,096 --> 00:10:33,724 I want the girls to think, "I wish I brought Nick Miller to orgasm." 254 00:10:33,808 --> 00:10:36,727 And I want the guys to think, "I wish I bought him more stuff." 255 00:10:36,811 --> 00:10:39,730 And I don't want Daffy Duck voices and feeling sticks. 256 00:10:39,814 --> 00:10:41,982 You don't… You don't know how to be real. 257 00:10:43,484 --> 00:10:46,654 I can't have you trying to cheer people up. 258 00:10:46,737 --> 00:10:48,239 I know how to be real. 259 00:10:53,285 --> 00:10:54,995 Am I wearing a hat? 260 00:10:55,955 --> 00:10:57,123 Nick Miller. 261 00:10:57,456 --> 00:10:58,707 Almost a lawyer. 262 00:11:01,752 --> 00:11:04,672 This is a sad song… 263 00:11:05,256 --> 00:11:06,257 Oh. 264 00:11:06,340 --> 00:11:07,758 Mm. 265 00:11:07,842 --> 00:11:11,220 This is the saddest song in the world. 266 00:11:11,470 --> 00:11:12,555 Yes, it is. 267 00:11:12,638 --> 00:11:13,848 - Mm. - Ever. 268 00:11:14,432 --> 00:11:16,016 This is the saddest… 269 00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:18,102 - You just keep singing, man. - Okay. 270 00:11:18,185 --> 00:11:20,354 This is a sad song. 271 00:11:20,438 --> 00:11:22,148 Hey, hey. 272 00:11:22,231 --> 00:11:23,732 Mm-hmm. 273 00:11:23,816 --> 00:11:26,569 Saddest song in the world. 274 00:11:26,652 --> 00:11:28,237 Got a nice voice, man. 275 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:30,322 It is so weird being sober right now. 276 00:11:30,406 --> 00:11:31,866 Can I get some weird rapping? 277 00:11:32,783 --> 00:11:35,661 Nick Miller, Nick Miller From the streets of Chicago 278 00:11:35,744 --> 00:11:38,497 'Cause players play like they do Like they did. 279 00:11:38,581 --> 00:11:40,082 Mm-hmm. 280 00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:41,417 Sad song 281 00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:44,003 'Cause the ballers ball and the… In the hood 282 00:11:44,086 --> 00:11:46,172 - 'Cause he's Chi-town hustle - In the world. 283 00:11:46,255 --> 00:11:47,256 That sounds great. 284 00:11:47,339 --> 00:11:48,692 'Cause the people of the, of Chicago. 285 00:11:48,716 --> 00:11:49,717 Represent him 286 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:52,762 'Cause the players don't play And the player's in the city. 287 00:11:52,845 --> 00:11:55,389 Nick Miller, Nick Miller's A stone-cold killer. 288 00:11:55,473 --> 00:11:57,349 Huh! Sing it, you know, you feel. 289 00:11:57,433 --> 00:11:58,601 Likes the taste of vanilla. 290 00:11:58,684 --> 00:12:01,187 Nick Miller, Nick Miller He's the illest of the ill. 291 00:12:01,270 --> 00:12:02,271 Cece's rapping! 292 00:12:02,354 --> 00:12:04,356 He pours 100 drinks And none have ever spilled. 293 00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:06,859 Plus he's super-high On a bunch of pain pills. 294 00:12:06,942 --> 00:12:08,903 His favorite movie Is The Big Chill. 295 00:12:08,986 --> 00:12:11,089 He's got a hairy chest 'Cause he eats a balanced meal. 296 00:12:11,113 --> 00:12:12,114 Hey, hey. 297 00:12:12,198 --> 00:12:13,866 Kickin' mad flavor in his ear. 298 00:12:13,949 --> 00:12:15,451 Sad song. 299 00:12:15,868 --> 00:12:17,536 Huh, huh 300 00:12:17,620 --> 00:12:19,622 'Cause the ice in my glass represents. 301 00:12:19,705 --> 00:12:22,041 The tears from my eyes I love you, dawg. 302 00:12:22,124 --> 00:12:24,502 This is a sad song. 303 00:12:24,794 --> 00:12:28,088 Nick Miller, Nick Miller Yo, streets of Chicago. 304 00:12:28,172 --> 00:12:31,050 Rough and tumble, one love You my heart. 305 00:12:31,592 --> 00:12:34,678 Nick Miller, Nick Miller Never does anything. 306 00:12:36,764 --> 00:12:37,765 What? 307 00:12:38,474 --> 00:12:39,892 You want me to get real 308 00:12:39,975 --> 00:12:42,436 and stop being all cutesy and whatever, fine. 309 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:43,521 Let's get real. 310 00:12:43,604 --> 00:12:45,231 - You don't do anything. - Mm. 311 00:12:45,314 --> 00:12:46,524 What did you want to do? 312 00:12:46,607 --> 00:12:49,235 I mean, isn't there something you wanted to accomplish? 313 00:12:49,318 --> 00:12:50,986 Hey, I've done things. 314 00:12:51,070 --> 00:12:53,322 I wrote half a book about zombies. 315 00:12:53,405 --> 00:12:54,740 Okay, just tell me. 316 00:12:54,824 --> 00:12:57,743 If you could do anything, what would you do? 317 00:12:59,161 --> 00:13:00,830 You know, I'm the guy who… 318 00:13:01,288 --> 00:13:03,809 I can't just jump into something if I don't know what's gonna happen. 319 00:13:03,833 --> 00:13:05,292 I never have been that guy. 320 00:13:06,502 --> 00:13:09,046 Like, I'm the, I'm the guy that, if I don't know 321 00:13:09,130 --> 00:13:11,090 what's gonna happen, I don't do something. 322 00:13:11,173 --> 00:13:13,134 Ever. I don't care how bad I want to do it. 323 00:13:13,217 --> 00:13:14,760 I don't do it. 324 00:13:14,844 --> 00:13:16,696 Like, if everybody were to go out into the ocean 325 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:18,055 and jumped in the water, 326 00:13:18,889 --> 00:13:21,475 well, I'm the guy on the beach guarding the wallets. 327 00:13:24,103 --> 00:13:25,938 All right. 328 00:13:29,567 --> 00:13:31,235 - All right, Nick. - All right. 329 00:13:31,318 --> 00:13:32,445 - Get out there. - Yeah. 330 00:13:32,528 --> 00:13:34,005 - I'll hold your wallet. - I don't have a wallet. 331 00:13:34,029 --> 00:13:35,281 All right, well, that's fine. 332 00:13:35,364 --> 00:13:37,533 I have a sandwich bag with my license and money in it. 333 00:13:37,616 --> 00:13:40,411 Okay, I'll hold your sandwich bag. Get out there, go. 334 00:13:40,995 --> 00:13:42,788 It's a little cold. 335 00:13:42,872 --> 00:13:46,959 Just in terms of running into the water, it's a tad on the cold side. 336 00:13:54,717 --> 00:13:56,802 Well, you know what, just… 337 00:13:58,471 --> 00:14:00,473 It's just… 338 00:14:06,771 --> 00:14:08,731 We all taking our shoes off? What's going on? 339 00:14:08,814 --> 00:14:10,065 I'm a little drunk, 340 00:14:10,149 --> 00:14:11,942 and I can't be too sure, 341 00:14:12,026 --> 00:14:14,945 but I think you're finally about to see your best friend's penis. 342 00:14:15,029 --> 00:14:17,406 Nick… He's gonna sh… 343 00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:19,217 He's gonna show his penis to the ocean and not me? 344 00:14:19,241 --> 00:14:20,409 Nick, wait! 345 00:14:26,749 --> 00:14:28,417 I'm alive! 346 00:14:29,001 --> 00:14:31,170 I… am… alive! 347 00:14:36,342 --> 00:14:37,676 I'm alive! 348 00:14:44,266 --> 00:14:47,478 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 349 00:14:47,561 --> 00:14:49,105 This is stupid! 350 00:14:49,814 --> 00:14:51,398 No, it's cold! 351 00:14:51,482 --> 00:14:53,400 My testicles are in my abdomen! 352 00:14:57,071 --> 00:14:59,198 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 353 00:14:59,281 --> 00:15:00,950 That is so cold! That is so cold! 354 00:15:01,033 --> 00:15:02,636 - Words cannot describe how cold that is! - Oh, oh, okay. 355 00:15:02,660 --> 00:15:05,955 - Nick, are you okay? - No, I'm not okay, Jess! 356 00:15:06,539 --> 00:15:07,790 I'm not okay! 357 00:15:08,290 --> 00:15:09,416 All right, I woke up today 358 00:15:09,500 --> 00:15:12,002 and I wanted to play a friendly game of touch football, 359 00:15:12,086 --> 00:15:15,005 then I hurt my back, and I went to your gynecologist, 360 00:15:15,089 --> 00:15:16,841 and now I might have cancer! 361 00:15:16,924 --> 00:15:18,551 So, no, Jess! 362 00:15:18,634 --> 00:15:20,219 I'm not okay! 363 00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:29,645 I don't think this is the right time 364 00:15:29,728 --> 00:15:31,522 to bring this up, you guys… 365 00:15:33,065 --> 00:15:35,276 But does anyone else think Nick could stand to lose 366 00:15:35,359 --> 00:15:36,861 five to seven pounds? 367 00:15:53,252 --> 00:15:55,254 You know what I'm thinking about, Ceec? 368 00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:56,797 What, Schmidt? 369 00:15:58,507 --> 00:16:00,801 That when you stand up, 370 00:16:02,178 --> 00:16:06,182 there's gonna be, like, a perfect imprint of your butt in the sand. 371 00:16:06,265 --> 00:16:07,909 That is what you're thinking about right now 372 00:16:07,933 --> 00:16:09,727 with your best friend down the beach 373 00:16:09,810 --> 00:16:11,663 - going through what he's going through? - I know, I know. 374 00:16:11,687 --> 00:16:14,166 - Then why would you say that? - I don't know why I would say that. 375 00:16:14,190 --> 00:16:15,691 Why would anyone say that? 376 00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:18,277 I've never gone through anything like this. 377 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:19,653 Yeah, well, I have. 378 00:16:20,321 --> 00:16:21,864 What happened? 379 00:16:21,947 --> 00:16:23,783 My dad died when I was 12. 380 00:16:26,118 --> 00:16:27,119 That's, um… 381 00:16:27,203 --> 00:16:29,830 The only way to get through it is to get through it. 382 00:16:36,212 --> 00:16:37,397 You know, I had a cat that died… 383 00:16:37,421 --> 00:16:39,256 Don't compare my dad to your cat. 384 00:16:39,340 --> 00:16:41,550 It was a big cat. I mean, human size. 385 00:16:45,137 --> 00:16:46,138 Hey. 386 00:16:47,014 --> 00:16:48,349 Oh, hey. 387 00:16:48,432 --> 00:16:49,850 Is this seat taken? 388 00:16:49,934 --> 00:16:51,393 Oh, please. 389 00:16:52,478 --> 00:16:53,979 Here, will you help me up? 390 00:16:59,485 --> 00:17:00,861 I know that you're right. 391 00:17:00,945 --> 00:17:03,114 You're right, I have to start doing things. 392 00:17:03,197 --> 00:17:04,698 I can't just… 393 00:17:07,493 --> 00:17:08,702 You know. 394 00:17:10,538 --> 00:17:11,539 Jess… 395 00:17:13,290 --> 00:17:14,750 I like you a lot. 396 00:17:15,417 --> 00:17:17,878 I really do. I'm glad you're around. 397 00:17:23,926 --> 00:17:26,971 I'm not gonna remember any of this in the morning, am I? 398 00:17:27,054 --> 00:17:28,848 Most certainly not. 399 00:17:28,931 --> 00:17:30,766 Oh, no. 400 00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:32,935 Yes. Yeah. 401 00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:36,397 Yeah, we should go home. 402 00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:37,857 Yes. 403 00:17:37,940 --> 00:17:39,316 Let's go home. 404 00:17:53,456 --> 00:17:55,374 Hey. We gotta wake up. 405 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,751 - It's morning. - What? 406 00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:01,005 Hey, Schmidty! 407 00:18:01,714 --> 00:18:04,091 Wake up, wake up! Everybody, up! 408 00:18:04,175 --> 00:18:06,427 I got that ultrasound thing. We're late. 409 00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:14,101 What? 410 00:18:20,983 --> 00:18:21,984 Oh. 411 00:18:32,870 --> 00:18:35,080 Hey, Winston. We're late, man. 412 00:18:37,249 --> 00:18:39,710 Ah, fresh air. Back to the fume chamber. 413 00:18:39,794 --> 00:18:41,712 Couldn't even sell it for metal. 414 00:18:42,463 --> 00:18:43,774 Hope you didn't get sand in my car. 415 00:18:43,798 --> 00:18:46,175 Yeah, that's this car's problem, too much sand. 416 00:18:47,718 --> 00:18:49,845 Oh, my God, there's soot coming in from the floor. 417 00:18:58,104 --> 00:19:00,523 Hi. Uh, my name is Nick Miller. 418 00:19:00,606 --> 00:19:02,608 I-I have a 9:00 a.m. today. 419 00:19:02,691 --> 00:19:03,692 Fill these out. 420 00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:05,420 I'm gonna need a copy of your health insurance. 421 00:19:05,444 --> 00:19:09,073 Oh. I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be paying with cash, actually. 422 00:19:09,156 --> 00:19:12,743 It's a mixture of, uh, paper money and change. 423 00:19:12,827 --> 00:19:14,453 I do have a check that's postdated. 424 00:19:14,537 --> 00:19:16,539 There's a 60/40 shot that's gonna clear. 425 00:19:18,249 --> 00:19:19,708 I hope that's good. 426 00:19:22,461 --> 00:19:23,671 Jess, will you… 427 00:19:24,713 --> 00:19:26,132 Do I have to do this now? 428 00:19:33,431 --> 00:19:36,058 How long does it take to tell if someone has cancer? 429 00:19:39,728 --> 00:19:41,021 - Guys. - Hey. 430 00:19:41,772 --> 00:19:43,232 I'm okay. I'm fine. 431 00:19:43,315 --> 00:19:44,942 I'm fine. It's nothing. Yeah. 432 00:19:45,526 --> 00:19:47,671 - What was it? What did they say it was? - I don't know. 433 00:19:47,695 --> 00:19:49,965 I didn't hear anything after they said, "You don't have cancer." 434 00:19:49,989 --> 00:19:52,199 I blanked out. I think it's like a cyst or something. 435 00:19:53,951 --> 00:19:55,077 Ugh. 436 00:19:55,161 --> 00:19:56,829 Stop Fredo-kissing me, Schmidt. 437 00:19:59,165 --> 00:20:00,624 All right, so what do I owe you? 438 00:20:00,708 --> 00:20:02,585 Let's figure this out. 439 00:20:02,668 --> 00:20:05,045 - I've got, uh… - It's already taken care of. 440 00:20:05,129 --> 00:20:07,381 What do you mean it's already taken care of? 441 00:20:07,798 --> 00:20:09,091 Oh, we split it. 442 00:20:13,763 --> 00:20:16,056 All right, well, I'll pay you guys back. I just… 443 00:20:16,140 --> 00:20:18,851 - And can you please get a wallet? - I do have a wallet. 444 00:20:19,643 --> 00:20:20,936 A wallet. 445 00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:23,564 I have tons of wallet chains that you can borrow. 446 00:20:31,530 --> 00:20:35,618 Deep inside the ever-spinning… 447 00:20:35,701 --> 00:20:37,536 - Hey, Jess? - Hmm? 448 00:20:37,620 --> 00:20:39,663 - What happened last night? - Nothing. 449 00:20:43,667 --> 00:20:46,587 Come on, come on, come on, come on… 450 00:20:48,506 --> 00:20:49,775 - Let it go, bud. - Wait, wait, wait, wait. 451 00:20:49,799 --> 00:20:51,026 - Just gotta give it a second. You gotta… - Bye. 452 00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:53,928 - It's cruel at this point. - The car's dead, bud. 453 00:20:59,266 --> 00:21:03,187 I'll take care of you. 454 00:21:05,689 --> 00:21:10,277 If you ask me to. 455 00:21:12,238 --> 00:21:18,494 In a year or two… 456 00:21:19,787 --> 00:21:21,080 Oh… 457 00:21:32,716 --> 00:21:34,718 Don't walk so damn fast. I'm coming. 458 00:21:34,802 --> 00:21:36,637 Can't a man say goodbye to his car?