1 00:00:02,988 --> 00:00:06,321 All right, Nick, we believe in you, man. 2 00:00:06,860 --> 00:00:08,427 Tell us, what's in the cup? 3 00:00:08,470 --> 00:00:09,736 Ah, it's a hard one. 4 00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:12,857 It's a mini carrot. 5 00:00:12,888 --> 00:00:14,022 Onion and potato? 6 00:00:14,060 --> 00:00:15,632 Dumbest boy in all the world. 7 00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:17,217 How are you so bad at Feely-Cup? 8 00:00:17,253 --> 00:00:18,441 You are awful at this game. 9 00:00:18,478 --> 00:00:19,959 Sea glass? I'm overthinking it. 10 00:00:19,984 --> 00:00:22,740 If his life depended on this, he would die. 11 00:00:22,805 --> 00:00:24,739 - Battery. - When are batteries squishy? 12 00:00:24,764 --> 00:00:26,902 I'm just kidding, I'm kidding— I know it's not a battery. 13 00:00:26,926 --> 00:00:28,652 I'm kidding. Feel, Nick. 14 00:00:28,694 --> 00:00:30,539 Nick, will you be paying for bonus time? 15 00:00:30,570 --> 00:00:33,156 He can't; He is all out of quarters. 16 00:00:33,351 --> 00:00:34,689 Uh, Nick? 17 00:00:34,734 --> 00:00:35,707 Your dad's here. 18 00:00:35,732 --> 00:00:37,892 Very funny, Schmidty, but my concentration 19 00:00:37,924 --> 00:00:39,423 will not be broken. 20 00:00:41,571 --> 00:00:42,972 Hey-ya, Nickels. 21 00:00:44,672 --> 00:00:46,491 Come on, kid, bring it in. 22 00:00:46,526 --> 00:00:47,451 Come on! 23 00:00:47,476 --> 00:00:50,006 Hello, Mr. Miller. Welcome to our home. 24 00:00:50,060 --> 00:00:51,427 - Feely-Cup? - Oh, yeah. 25 00:00:51,495 --> 00:00:52,617 Bring it on. 26 00:00:54,348 --> 00:00:55,699 Watch this. 27 00:00:57,865 --> 00:00:58,946 Tampon... 28 00:01:00,592 --> 00:01:02,300 Wrapped in duct tape... 29 00:01:02,999 --> 00:01:05,946 And dipped... in baking powder. 30 00:01:05,970 --> 00:01:07,408 - Is that what it is? Oh, it is. - Boom! 31 00:01:07,429 --> 00:01:10,364 - Next level Feely-Cup. - Hello, Mr. Miller. 32 00:01:14,467 --> 00:01:18,434 Sync & corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 33 00:01:18,709 --> 00:01:20,459 This is a pleasant surprise. 34 00:01:20,489 --> 00:01:22,257 What brings you to Los Angeles, Dad? 35 00:01:22,305 --> 00:01:24,109 Let me just, uh, clean up a little bit. 36 00:01:24,147 --> 00:01:25,960 You know, I just thought I'd stop by. 37 00:01:25,991 --> 00:01:27,838 I'll sleep in your bed, you can go on the couch. 38 00:01:27,869 --> 00:01:29,069 Sounds like us. 39 00:01:29,211 --> 00:01:30,368 Hey. 40 00:01:30,430 --> 00:01:32,543 So, what does Mr. Miller do? 41 00:01:32,574 --> 00:01:34,359 - Businessman. - A what? - He's a con man. 42 00:01:34,383 --> 00:01:36,304 - He is a con man. - He is a damn business— What are you talking about? 43 00:01:36,329 --> 00:01:37,633 - He's a con man. - He's a businessman. 44 00:01:37,658 --> 00:01:38,939 Winston's obsessed with Walt. 45 00:01:38,964 --> 00:01:41,142 That moustache first of all— what? 46 00:01:41,163 --> 00:01:42,721 It's like the world's sexiest push broom. 47 00:01:42,739 --> 00:01:44,971 A con man like, "What's the play?" 48 00:01:45,095 --> 00:01:46,762 The, uh, Ring-A-Doo Johnnycakes? 49 00:01:46,786 --> 00:01:48,805 The, uh, Hollow Leg Swap-Em-Out? 50 00:01:48,943 --> 00:01:49,984 Yes, exactly. 51 00:01:50,009 --> 00:01:52,644 Fake trombones for a fake band. 52 00:01:52,740 --> 00:01:54,169 Harold Hill! 53 00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:55,735 Music Man? 54 00:01:55,753 --> 00:01:58,355 No, he is not a con man, okay? 55 00:01:58,397 --> 00:02:00,324 You know, he sometimes used to sell hats. 56 00:02:00,354 --> 00:02:02,494 There you go, boys— enjoy. 57 00:02:02,550 --> 00:02:03,444 Thanks, Dad. 58 00:02:03,479 --> 00:02:06,812 So many hats. 59 00:02:07,420 --> 00:02:09,844 Okay, technically, they were misprints. 60 00:02:11,291 --> 00:02:12,221 This says: 61 00:02:12,245 --> 00:02:14,045 "Chica Go Bills." 62 00:02:14,463 --> 00:02:17,007 Let's go, guys— these hats suck. 63 00:02:17,383 --> 00:02:20,383 "Chica Go Bills" is, uh, actually Spanish 64 00:02:20,409 --> 00:02:22,697 for "Young girl, go Bills." 65 00:02:22,722 --> 00:02:25,528 Who's gonna mess with a guy who's wearing a hat 66 00:02:25,590 --> 00:02:27,609 that says, "Young girl, go Bills?" 67 00:02:27,821 --> 00:02:29,607 I mean, the answer is everybody. 68 00:02:29,704 --> 00:02:31,092 They will, they mess with you. 69 00:02:32,881 --> 00:02:35,850 Oh, my... Nick, please do not angry-fix the sink. 70 00:02:35,886 --> 00:02:37,952 I'm not angry-fixing; I'm fixing! 71 00:02:38,019 --> 00:02:40,154 You want to know why I'm messed up? 72 00:02:40,185 --> 00:02:41,697 Why I don't trust people? 73 00:02:41,742 --> 00:02:44,192 - Why I have anger issues? - Oh, yes, I do want to know. 74 00:02:44,210 --> 00:02:46,713 Why I have the blood pressure of a hummingbird? 75 00:02:49,745 --> 00:02:52,512 Do you think this is maybe about your dad? 76 00:02:54,832 --> 00:02:55,969 And so Nickels comes 77 00:02:55,992 --> 00:02:57,896 into my room screaming, "Daddy, Daddy." 78 00:02:57,933 --> 00:02:58,940 So I go, "What's wrong?" 79 00:02:58,977 --> 00:03:02,132 He says, "Daddy, I have a tick at the end of my tinkle." 80 00:03:02,163 --> 00:03:04,026 Oh, my God! 81 00:03:04,044 --> 00:03:06,576 - This is not a story for everyone. - And sure enough, 82 00:03:06,607 --> 00:03:08,520 there is a tick 83 00:03:08,559 --> 00:03:10,260 at the end of his little penis. 84 00:03:10,285 --> 00:03:11,410 Not a story for this moment. 85 00:03:11,428 --> 00:03:13,541 That's how he got the nickname "Little Penis." 86 00:03:13,575 --> 00:03:14,948 Oh, stop calling me that. 87 00:03:14,979 --> 00:03:17,539 - What are we gonna do with this guy? - I have no idea, Pop-Pop. 88 00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:19,752 - Don't call him Pop-Pop. - That's his nickname. 89 00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:21,784 - The nickname is longer than Walt. - But that's the nickname 90 00:03:21,824 --> 00:03:24,025 - that I gave him. - Yeah, but it's really weird that you call my dad Pop-Pop. 91 00:03:24,071 --> 00:03:25,791 - I like Pop-Pop. - You don't get it. You don't get it. 92 00:03:25,822 --> 00:03:27,289 Yeah, fine, just don't call him Pop-Pop, so... 93 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:29,120 I think it's time for another drink. 94 00:03:29,158 --> 00:03:30,142 What do you say, gorgeous? 95 00:03:30,167 --> 00:03:31,961 You want to give an old man a hand? 96 00:03:32,081 --> 00:03:33,115 Sure. 97 00:03:34,402 --> 00:03:35,602 I don't know, Nick. 98 00:03:35,670 --> 00:03:38,070 A lot of charm coming from this end of the booth. 99 00:03:38,105 --> 00:03:39,339 'Cause that's what he does. 100 00:03:39,407 --> 00:03:40,711 He lures you in 101 00:03:40,749 --> 00:03:43,530 with his charm and his moustache and his perfect hair. 102 00:03:43,555 --> 00:03:45,659 I feel like you need to talk to him about this. 103 00:03:45,696 --> 00:03:47,436 Right, 'cause I'll just tell him how I feel, 104 00:03:47,452 --> 00:03:48,735 and everything will be okay 105 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:50,460 'cause that's really the way the world works. 106 00:03:50,485 --> 00:03:53,067 Took the words right out of my mouth, Little Penis. 107 00:03:53,106 --> 00:03:54,741 - It's not a thing. - I love a good nickname. 108 00:03:54,764 --> 00:03:56,076 Not... not gonna stick. 109 00:03:56,155 --> 00:03:57,589 You know, when Nick is not working here, 110 00:03:57,607 --> 00:03:58,820 the service is abysmal. 111 00:03:58,845 --> 00:04:00,196 I mean, how many times did I have to repeat 112 00:04:00,221 --> 00:04:01,835 the words, "Lemon Drop shot"? 113 00:04:01,864 --> 00:04:03,493 Yeah, I think he was making fun of you. 114 00:04:03,517 --> 00:04:04,717 For what? 115 00:04:04,743 --> 00:04:06,268 Working hard and playing hard? 116 00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:08,285 I guess the joke is on me. 117 00:04:08,489 --> 00:04:09,677 Another Indian guy? 118 00:04:09,701 --> 00:04:11,280 - My mom set me up. - Oh, your mom. 119 00:04:11,304 --> 00:04:12,237 - That's cool. - Mm-hmm. 120 00:04:12,263 --> 00:04:14,301 Have fun with your, your Devs... 121 00:04:14,326 --> 00:04:16,957 and your... and your An-Anujs... 122 00:04:16,987 --> 00:04:19,122 or your Deepaks. 123 00:04:19,189 --> 00:04:20,957 Whatever Patel you're dating. 124 00:04:21,024 --> 00:04:22,304 I'm-I'm not sweating it. 125 00:04:22,347 --> 00:04:23,913 His name's Pavun, Pavun Shetty. 126 00:04:23,941 --> 00:04:25,178 What? 127 00:04:25,209 --> 00:04:28,567 - As in, as in "Shetty Solutions"? - I think so. Why? 128 00:04:28,591 --> 00:04:30,544 They only nailed the crowd-control logistics 129 00:04:30,556 --> 00:04:32,256 of Bombay's revamped open-air market. 130 00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:33,339 I thought you weren't sweating it. 131 00:04:33,370 --> 00:04:36,639 I'm not sweating it. Sweating it. 132 00:04:37,218 --> 00:04:39,612 Killing me with that Drop, dude. 133 00:04:40,707 --> 00:04:42,641 You really seem to care about Little Nicky. 134 00:04:42,672 --> 00:04:44,339 I mean, look at him. 135 00:04:44,424 --> 00:04:48,237 He looks like Hilary Swank mixed with a sad, wet dog. 136 00:04:48,262 --> 00:04:50,068 Do you think he's really angry at me? 137 00:04:50,099 --> 00:04:51,985 I think you need to talk to him. 138 00:04:52,620 --> 00:04:55,308 All I'm looking for is a second chance. 139 00:04:56,637 --> 00:04:58,711 You don't happen to believe in second chances, 140 00:04:58,742 --> 00:04:59,708 do you, Blue Eyes? 141 00:04:59,721 --> 00:05:01,384 Actually, I, um... 142 00:05:01,462 --> 00:05:04,030 I'm a bit of a sucker for second chances. 143 00:05:04,098 --> 00:05:06,533 They're my first favorite kind of chance. 144 00:05:07,476 --> 00:05:09,711 Have you ever been to the racetrack? 145 00:05:13,095 --> 00:05:15,228 Back at the tracks with my dad. 146 00:05:15,283 --> 00:05:16,752 When Nick was a kid, he would come 147 00:05:16,789 --> 00:05:18,122 to the track with me all the time. 148 00:05:18,142 --> 00:05:20,391 And if I got in trouble, he would get me out of it 149 00:05:20,410 --> 00:05:21,610 by doing the Sugar Ray. 150 00:05:21,636 --> 00:05:23,670 - Oh, the Sugar Ray. - What's a Sugar Ray? 151 00:05:23,702 --> 00:05:25,946 It's when I pretend to be a diabetic kid 152 00:05:25,970 --> 00:05:27,301 so the man who is threatening 153 00:05:27,326 --> 00:05:29,157 to beat up my father would run off scared. 154 00:05:29,173 --> 00:05:31,428 You see, we did have some good times, didn't we? 155 00:05:31,459 --> 00:05:33,328 Now, come on, let's make a bet. 156 00:05:33,658 --> 00:05:34,971 Here you go. 157 00:05:35,387 --> 00:05:36,488 What's the catch? 158 00:05:36,518 --> 00:05:38,352 What catch? There is no catch. 159 00:05:38,406 --> 00:05:39,908 What possible catch can there be? 160 00:05:39,939 --> 00:05:41,773 All I want you to do is make a bet. 161 00:05:42,058 --> 00:05:43,618 All right, Pop, you want me to lose your money? 162 00:05:43,662 --> 00:05:45,863 I'll be happy to. 163 00:05:56,421 --> 00:05:57,921 Schmidt. 164 00:05:58,451 --> 00:06:00,120 Robby? 165 00:06:00,769 --> 00:06:02,104 Robby, what are, what are you doing here, man? 166 00:06:02,170 --> 00:06:04,235 - I'm spying on Cece. - Cece. 167 00:06:04,254 --> 00:06:06,276 You know, I'm still in love with her, so... 168 00:06:06,423 --> 00:06:09,243 this is pretty much your basic broken-hearted spying thing. 169 00:06:09,264 --> 00:06:10,365 It's why I got this hat. 170 00:06:10,377 --> 00:06:12,223 Aw, come on, Robby, you got to get over that. 171 00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:14,068 Wait a second, are you spying on Cece, too? 172 00:06:14,099 --> 00:06:15,616 No. What? 173 00:06:15,650 --> 00:06:17,985 - Are you still in love with Cece? - No, that's still... 174 00:06:18,053 --> 00:06:19,893 Yes, I am. 175 00:06:20,311 --> 00:06:23,068 - It's killing me. - Me, too! Bring it in, man. 176 00:06:28,262 --> 00:06:29,562 What are you two doing here? 177 00:06:29,630 --> 00:06:31,398 - Whoa, hey. - Cece? 178 00:06:31,421 --> 00:06:33,601 - Just nothing, we're just... - Yeah, you know. 179 00:06:34,935 --> 00:06:36,436 Do you think that she saw me? 180 00:06:36,504 --> 00:06:39,239 What? Of course she saw you. 181 00:06:39,306 --> 00:06:40,640 Do you think she saw me? 182 00:06:40,682 --> 00:06:42,383 Well, yeah, you don't have a hat on. 183 00:06:42,675 --> 00:06:45,544 Nicky only had one dream when he was a kid— 184 00:06:45,755 --> 00:06:47,828 to own a family horse. 185 00:06:47,859 --> 00:06:51,903 That is so surprising 'cause it just doesn't seem like... 186 00:06:52,318 --> 00:06:53,818 Nick hates living things, 187 00:06:53,886 --> 00:06:55,381 so, like, it just doesn't really seem 188 00:06:55,412 --> 00:06:57,348 like in line with what I know about him. 189 00:06:57,388 --> 00:06:59,489 All right, look... 190 00:07:00,039 --> 00:07:02,323 - I want to buy a horse. - Uh-huh. 191 00:07:02,352 --> 00:07:05,448 For me and Nick to own together. 192 00:07:05,478 --> 00:07:07,809 - Oh! - I found this beautiful horse. 193 00:07:07,848 --> 00:07:09,080 - Gorgeous! - Right. 194 00:07:09,124 --> 00:07:10,882 Me and you are gonna talk the guy down. 195 00:07:10,913 --> 00:07:11,933 I don't know how to do that. 196 00:07:11,951 --> 00:07:13,710 - I'll take care of that. - Okay. 197 00:07:15,205 --> 00:07:16,336 Hey-ya, Dusty. 198 00:07:16,362 --> 00:07:18,462 Aw, ya gotta be kidding me! 199 00:07:18,504 --> 00:07:19,773 How'd he find me? 200 00:07:19,795 --> 00:07:20,828 Who was that? 201 00:07:20,853 --> 00:07:23,260 Eh, don't worry about him. 202 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,770 What do you know about horses? 203 00:07:24,838 --> 00:07:26,776 I know they're big. 204 00:07:26,817 --> 00:07:28,035 Perfect. 205 00:07:28,066 --> 00:07:30,162 This is a very sad case. 206 00:07:30,194 --> 00:07:31,257 I mean... 207 00:07:31,294 --> 00:07:32,860 My niece, she goes to veterinary school. 208 00:07:32,884 --> 00:07:35,035 - We're all very proud of her. - Top of my class. 209 00:07:35,081 --> 00:07:36,840 So, what do you, uh, what do you think? 210 00:07:36,908 --> 00:07:38,142 Terrible horse. 211 00:07:38,185 --> 00:07:39,352 She's very sickly. 212 00:07:39,396 --> 00:07:42,063 - He. He... He. - He... He. 213 00:07:42,131 --> 00:07:43,265 Oh! 214 00:07:43,295 --> 00:07:45,528 I wish I had brought my stethoscope. 215 00:07:45,577 --> 00:07:47,911 I'm seeing a lot of split ends. 216 00:07:47,953 --> 00:07:50,906 The mane is totally the wrong cut for the shape of his face. 217 00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:54,023 So you're saying that this horse, right now, the way it is, 218 00:07:54,054 --> 00:07:56,454 - will never race again? - Damn it, Uncle Buck! 219 00:07:56,505 --> 00:07:58,591 This horse will never race again! 220 00:07:58,865 --> 00:08:01,403 Why did you fly me all the way out from Grenada 221 00:08:01,428 --> 00:08:03,092 if you weren't gonna listen to me? 222 00:08:04,652 --> 00:08:06,558 - Yes, con! - Shh, shh, shh! 223 00:08:06,587 --> 00:08:08,187 Okay, there are people in life 224 00:08:08,327 --> 00:08:10,178 who you want to be unpredictable. 225 00:08:10,203 --> 00:08:13,926 Your pothead neighbor, or Vice President Joe Biden. 226 00:08:14,092 --> 00:08:15,592 And then there are people who you don't want 227 00:08:15,630 --> 00:08:17,915 to be unpredictable, like your dentist, 228 00:08:17,952 --> 00:08:20,021 or, I don't know, your father. 229 00:08:20,039 --> 00:08:22,024 Look, Nick, my dad left when I was three. 230 00:08:22,068 --> 00:08:25,368 Every single day, rain or shine, he just never came back. 231 00:08:25,409 --> 00:08:26,945 I wish he'd been a little bit more 232 00:08:26,969 --> 00:08:28,768 unpredictable; That's all I'm saying. 233 00:08:29,254 --> 00:08:30,121 I hear you. 234 00:08:30,163 --> 00:08:32,302 And yeah, sure, Walt may owe me a couple hundred bucks, 235 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:33,302 but it's not a big deal. 236 00:08:33,333 --> 00:08:35,066 My dad owes you money? How much? 237 00:08:35,086 --> 00:08:37,381 Three, 400... like 1,100 bucks. 238 00:08:38,046 --> 00:08:39,682 Oh, my God, he's with Jess. 239 00:08:39,856 --> 00:08:41,356 He's gonna rip her off. 240 00:08:41,617 --> 00:08:42,973 He's gonna rip her off. 241 00:08:43,036 --> 00:08:46,713 I feel like Cece's making a big mistake with this Indian guy. 242 00:08:46,825 --> 00:08:48,888 - She should be with somebody like us. - Totally. 243 00:08:48,913 --> 00:08:50,453 White Guy Power. 244 00:08:52,764 --> 00:08:54,270 Okay, um... 245 00:08:54,298 --> 00:08:56,301 - Cool Guy Power. - Now you're talking, Robby. 246 00:08:56,332 --> 00:08:57,957 - What are we gonna do? - I don't know. 247 00:08:58,891 --> 00:09:01,876 I mean, one billion Indian men is a daunting foe. 248 00:09:01,973 --> 00:09:03,747 Suddenly I feel sympathy for Pakistan. 249 00:09:03,771 --> 00:09:05,316 But it's like they say, 250 00:09:05,353 --> 00:09:07,259 "How do you eat an elephant, Robby?" 251 00:09:07,421 --> 00:09:08,455 With chopsticks. 252 00:09:08,478 --> 00:09:09,533 - What? - Slowly, with chopsticks. 253 00:09:09,564 --> 00:09:11,152 - That's— no— with chopsticks? - In a taco. 254 00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:12,836 - What? - Elephant tacos. 255 00:09:12,861 --> 00:09:14,647 Elephant tacos? Who eats elephant tacos? 256 00:09:14,677 --> 00:09:16,177 - That's not even a saying. - Oh. 257 00:09:16,213 --> 00:09:17,538 One bite at a time, Robby. 258 00:09:17,563 --> 00:09:18,665 - One bite at a time. - Yes. 259 00:09:18,702 --> 00:09:20,951 One bite at a time. This is what I'm thinking. 260 00:09:20,997 --> 00:09:24,923 I use my superior powers of manipulation and persuasion 261 00:09:24,947 --> 00:09:26,920 to get Cece to take you back. 262 00:09:26,994 --> 00:09:30,327 Once we've neutralized the sub-continental threat, 263 00:09:30,565 --> 00:09:31,566 I smite you. 264 00:09:31,634 --> 00:09:32,634 - What? - What? 265 00:09:32,676 --> 00:09:34,624 You said you're gonna smite me? 266 00:09:34,649 --> 00:09:36,832 Smite— defeat gloriously for Cece's hand. 267 00:09:36,863 --> 00:09:38,366 - No, I know what it means. - But that's someday. 268 00:09:38,396 --> 00:09:41,531 For now, let's scheme, my "broheem." 269 00:09:41,574 --> 00:09:43,408 Okay... I just want to reiterate 270 00:09:43,438 --> 00:09:46,347 that I'm not on board with the smiting. 271 00:09:46,381 --> 00:09:48,099 - Whatever. - But I like the "broheem" thing a lot. 272 00:09:48,124 --> 00:09:49,458 Let's concentrate on the broheem part. 273 00:09:49,469 --> 00:09:50,820 - Concentrate on... okay. - And smite later. 274 00:09:50,845 --> 00:09:53,061 - Yeah, okay, yeah. - Cheers, broheem. 275 00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:54,516 You got a great deal. 276 00:09:54,555 --> 00:09:57,023 - Good luck, Doc. - Thanks. - Dad! 277 00:09:57,058 --> 00:09:58,770 - Hi, boys. - Can I tell him? 278 00:09:58,793 --> 00:10:01,915 - I would rather keep it a secret. - Nick, your dream finally came true. 279 00:10:02,036 --> 00:10:03,771 We got you a horse. 280 00:10:03,895 --> 00:10:06,118 - It's not my dream to own a horse. - What? 281 00:10:06,155 --> 00:10:07,974 Did you use my friend to buy a horse? 282 00:10:07,999 --> 00:10:10,368 - What? No, I swore you wanted...? - Will you excuse me? I gotta take this call. 283 00:10:10,384 --> 00:10:11,585 That is unbelievable, Dad. 284 00:10:11,614 --> 00:10:13,522 He had this whole thing— he was gonna name the horse 285 00:10:13,552 --> 00:10:15,808 "A Father's Love" 'cause you guys always wanted to have a horse together. 286 00:10:15,845 --> 00:10:17,439 - Tell me you didn't give him money. - Actually, 287 00:10:17,467 --> 00:10:18,715 actually, that's a funny story 288 00:10:18,742 --> 00:10:21,483 because I'm actually an investor in... 289 00:10:21,881 --> 00:10:22,714 God! 290 00:10:23,269 --> 00:10:24,338 God! 291 00:10:24,369 --> 00:10:25,701 Walid, drop dead! 292 00:10:26,095 --> 00:10:27,092 Damn, Pop-Pop. 293 00:10:27,117 --> 00:10:28,565 - Stop calling him Pop-Pop! - Now, listen, 294 00:10:28,596 --> 00:10:29,874 I already got people standing by 295 00:10:29,903 --> 00:10:31,792 to take the horse off our hands. 296 00:10:31,823 --> 00:10:35,195 Horse semen in Dubai is gold. 297 00:10:35,219 --> 00:10:36,947 No, you can't sell "A Father's Love." 298 00:10:36,971 --> 00:10:39,570 There's more to "A Father's Love" than just semen. 299 00:10:39,624 --> 00:10:41,692 Ew, poetic, but ew. 300 00:10:41,717 --> 00:10:43,042 - Dad. - Dusty, I see you 301 00:10:43,069 --> 00:10:44,536 and we're doing this right now. 302 00:10:44,567 --> 00:10:46,801 - No, no, no, no, no...! - Dusty! 303 00:10:46,874 --> 00:10:48,676 We got your back, Pop-Pop. 304 00:10:48,968 --> 00:10:50,101 Damn, Pop-Pop, man. 305 00:10:50,175 --> 00:10:51,543 Give me that. 306 00:10:51,598 --> 00:10:54,033 Okay, okay, okay! 307 00:10:54,319 --> 00:10:56,544 Father, we got your back, Father. 308 00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:00,451 Five hundred dollars? 309 00:11:00,681 --> 00:11:03,236 You stole $500 from her to buy that horse? 310 00:11:03,273 --> 00:11:05,574 I didn't steal anything from her. 311 00:11:05,606 --> 00:11:08,375 She saw the opportunity for a business investment, 312 00:11:08,393 --> 00:11:09,659 and she took advantage of it. I mean... 313 00:11:09,701 --> 00:11:11,450 Dad, she will believe anything. 314 00:11:11,496 --> 00:11:12,865 That's not true, Nick. 315 00:11:13,185 --> 00:11:15,084 - My real name is Jamil. - It is? 316 00:11:15,115 --> 00:11:17,278 - No, my name is not Jamil! - Nick, that was not fair. 317 00:11:17,309 --> 00:11:19,235 - It is Nick, you know that! - You told me in confidence. 318 00:11:19,278 --> 00:11:20,620 How could you think my name was Jamil? 319 00:11:20,644 --> 00:11:22,481 - Well, he's weird. - That's a good point. 320 00:11:22,491 --> 00:11:23,657 Just wait for one hour. 321 00:11:23,672 --> 00:11:25,174 You see, I go meet the buyer, 322 00:11:25,236 --> 00:11:28,104 I sell them our horse for a huge profit, 323 00:11:28,129 --> 00:11:29,906 and because these suckers think our horse 324 00:11:29,937 --> 00:11:32,372 is Big Brown's nephew, they'll overpay. 325 00:11:32,523 --> 00:11:34,498 Blue Eyes gets her money back with interest. 326 00:11:34,522 --> 00:11:36,636 Sounds like a great plan. We'll come with you. 327 00:11:36,660 --> 00:11:38,762 And I'll watch you give Jess her money back. 328 00:11:38,980 --> 00:11:39,847 Yeah! 329 00:11:39,872 --> 00:11:41,005 Please, please, don't do this to me. 330 00:11:41,039 --> 00:11:42,245 - We're doing it. - No, no, you... 331 00:11:42,413 --> 00:11:44,326 You don't understand, you're not a sales guy, okay? 332 00:11:44,357 --> 00:11:45,890 He... he starts to sweat. 333 00:11:45,915 --> 00:11:48,402 Nick only sweats if there's lying involved. 334 00:11:48,644 --> 00:11:50,683 And there's not lying involved, is there? 335 00:11:52,202 --> 00:11:53,583 We're coming with, Dad. 336 00:11:53,651 --> 00:11:54,582 Check this out. 337 00:11:54,606 --> 00:11:56,168 - We get seersucker suits... - Yeah. 338 00:11:56,193 --> 00:11:57,721 And two more guys, 339 00:11:57,745 --> 00:11:59,812 and then we serenade her with a barbershop quartet. 340 00:11:59,849 --> 00:12:02,264 Well, if we got ten more guys and a plan, 341 00:12:02,642 --> 00:12:03,948 we'd form an Ocean's Twelve. 342 00:12:03,984 --> 00:12:06,649 I would be Brad Pitt, you'd be the crafty Asian fellow 343 00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:09,043 - who does the, uh, who does the flippies. - Oh, I got a great idea. 344 00:12:09,066 --> 00:12:10,670 We can name a star after her, all right? 345 00:12:10,701 --> 00:12:12,481 I know this Web site, and we could put one 346 00:12:12,508 --> 00:12:14,316 that's right near the Robbies one through eight. 347 00:12:14,337 --> 00:12:16,338 - You have eight stars? - There's, like, a billion stars, they're really cheap. 348 00:12:16,368 --> 00:12:18,189 - But eight of them are yours? - That's only going to go up in value. 349 00:12:18,207 --> 00:12:19,675 It's a horrible investment. 350 00:12:19,705 --> 00:12:21,678 I know she's into that Gandhi crapola. 351 00:12:21,703 --> 00:12:22,881 We could self-immolate. 352 00:12:22,904 --> 00:12:25,415 - I feel like we're so close. - Wait, Robby. 353 00:12:25,973 --> 00:12:26,829 I got it. 354 00:12:26,866 --> 00:12:28,679 Cool... Guy... Power! 355 00:12:28,717 --> 00:12:30,444 Cool... Guy... Power! 356 00:12:30,474 --> 00:12:32,201 Cool Guy Power! Cool Guy Power! 357 00:12:32,239 --> 00:12:33,505 Cool— hey. 358 00:12:33,689 --> 00:12:35,621 - Is this happening? - Yes. 359 00:12:35,662 --> 00:12:36,963 Why are the two of you even together? 360 00:12:36,993 --> 00:12:38,300 Are you wearing a traditional sari? 361 00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:40,512 - Yes. - I begged you to wear a sari. 362 00:12:40,650 --> 00:12:42,708 I had all these sari-related sexual scenarios. 363 00:12:42,731 --> 00:12:44,390 - Shh! - "Monsoon Bedding." 364 00:12:44,441 --> 00:12:46,841 "The Best Erotic Mari-bone Hotel." 365 00:12:46,870 --> 00:12:48,689 - Stop that. - "Slum-Doggy-Style Millionaire" 366 00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:50,971 But, what, you're wearing the sari for who? Let me see this guy. 367 00:12:50,993 --> 00:12:53,599 - No! What... Schmidt! Robby! - You're wearing it for him... 368 00:12:53,669 --> 00:12:55,788 Oh, my God. 369 00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:58,680 - Are you... you're having an orgy here? - Mm-mm. 370 00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:00,630 - This is a big Indian orgy? - Oh, for God sakes. 371 00:13:00,648 --> 00:13:02,600 - They're all wearing their clothes... - I'm telling you, it's an orgy. 372 00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:05,758 Pavun and I can't go on a date until our families... 373 00:13:06,333 --> 00:13:07,258 meet. 374 00:13:07,298 --> 00:13:09,218 - We saw you on a date earlier. - That wasn't a date. 375 00:13:09,277 --> 00:13:11,971 I was meeting Pavun's uncle, Manish. 376 00:13:12,314 --> 00:13:13,132 Manish. 377 00:13:13,146 --> 00:13:15,966 That is Pavun. 378 00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:18,853 Oh, that's Pavun. Oh, my God, look at this guy, he's gorgeous. 379 00:13:18,883 --> 00:13:19,996 What are you talking about? 380 00:13:20,022 --> 00:13:21,284 I don't have a chance here. Look at his features. 381 00:13:21,313 --> 00:13:23,631 Look at your features, man. You're just as gorgeous. 382 00:13:23,713 --> 00:13:24,619 I mean, kind of. 383 00:13:24,642 --> 00:13:26,856 You're kind, you always have gum... 384 00:13:27,339 --> 00:13:28,502 and you've got so much pep. 385 00:13:28,527 --> 00:13:30,865 You are confident, and you're punctual, 386 00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:32,184 and you came up with this awesome plan. 387 00:13:32,211 --> 00:13:33,836 Yeah, we came up with this awesome plan. 388 00:13:33,867 --> 00:13:36,329 - Together. - You know what, screw it, I don't even care anymore. 389 00:13:36,364 --> 00:13:37,399 White Guy Power! 390 00:13:37,430 --> 00:13:38,630 - That's "white guy." - All right, man. 391 00:13:38,661 --> 00:13:41,129 Let's do it. All right. White Guy Power. 392 00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:42,664 You got to quit it with that, man. 393 00:13:42,695 --> 00:13:43,914 I'm telling you, it's a little racist. 394 00:13:43,938 --> 00:13:45,545 Get out of here before I throw you out. 395 00:13:45,582 --> 00:13:47,426 - All right. - He is so organized, you know? 396 00:13:47,456 --> 00:13:49,339 I am just... I'm learning a ton. 397 00:13:55,378 --> 00:13:56,983 I'm ready for this. This is good. 398 00:13:57,020 --> 00:13:58,779 This is really exciting. This is my first 399 00:13:58,804 --> 00:14:01,936 middle of the night parking lot horse deal. 400 00:14:02,922 --> 00:14:04,202 This is not gonna work, they're gonna... 401 00:14:04,256 --> 00:14:05,600 It's gonna work. It's gonna work. 402 00:14:05,643 --> 00:14:07,177 - Gonna work fine. - Take control of this, please. 403 00:14:07,214 --> 00:14:09,022 - I got it, I got it. Yes. - We got it. We got it, Walt. 404 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:10,983 Hey, look, will you do me a favor, please? 405 00:14:11,026 --> 00:14:13,702 Let me handle this. Just because my dad is in town, 406 00:14:13,714 --> 00:14:15,290 I'm not gonna put you in harm's way. 407 00:14:15,323 --> 00:14:16,917 Yup. Okay. 408 00:14:17,003 --> 00:14:18,002 Twist my arm. 409 00:14:18,054 --> 00:14:19,167 I'll be the lookout. 410 00:14:19,185 --> 00:14:21,030 Just keep your head down. 411 00:14:21,173 --> 00:14:23,686 I've got this totally under control. 412 00:14:29,692 --> 00:14:30,868 Hi-ya, fellas. 413 00:14:30,961 --> 00:14:32,936 - How you doing? - Eh, I'm good. You? 414 00:14:32,962 --> 00:14:34,129 I'm good. 415 00:14:34,597 --> 00:14:36,054 Just getting over a little cold. 416 00:14:36,072 --> 00:14:38,741 Yeah, I get a little agita myself every once in a while. 417 00:14:38,776 --> 00:14:40,288 Hey, what's going on, everybody? How you guys doing? 418 00:14:40,307 --> 00:14:41,472 Nice to see you. This is my dad; I'm Nick. 419 00:14:41,503 --> 00:14:42,385 Cool half-turtleneck. 420 00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:43,947 - How you doing, fellas? - Good. 421 00:14:43,959 --> 00:14:45,369 Just getting over a little cold. 422 00:14:45,430 --> 00:14:46,863 Good. 423 00:14:46,931 --> 00:14:48,138 He makes the white? 424 00:14:48,175 --> 00:14:50,195 This horse is more semen than he is horse. 425 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:52,781 That's disgusting. 426 00:14:52,804 --> 00:14:54,685 Good. We want semen. 427 00:14:54,710 --> 00:14:57,479 Well, you guys are gonna get semen. 428 00:14:57,917 --> 00:15:00,851 You'll get a bunch of horse semen. 429 00:15:02,456 --> 00:15:04,524 Wait until it's next to a lady horse. 430 00:15:04,616 --> 00:15:06,216 Trust me. 431 00:15:06,684 --> 00:15:08,689 What's the matter? Is sweat? 432 00:15:08,718 --> 00:15:10,053 I don't see sweating. He's not sweating. 433 00:15:10,091 --> 00:15:11,273 Why he sweating so much? 434 00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:12,603 No, no, no, I don't sweat too much. 435 00:15:12,631 --> 00:15:13,597 Why is... are you a cop? 436 00:15:13,639 --> 00:15:14,606 - Cop? - No, no, no, no! 437 00:15:14,635 --> 00:15:16,723 - Sweat like a cop. - Take off your clothes. 438 00:15:16,753 --> 00:15:19,570 - Why would I do that? - Aw, just take off your clothes. 439 00:15:19,608 --> 00:15:21,608 - Take it now. - He just wants to see that you're not wearing a wire. 440 00:15:21,652 --> 00:15:22,739 I would like you to defend me here. 441 00:15:22,770 --> 00:15:24,103 Now! Take it off! 442 00:15:24,136 --> 00:15:25,417 - Take it off. - No. 443 00:15:25,441 --> 00:15:27,997 - Now! Take it off! - Take off your clothes! 444 00:15:28,051 --> 00:15:29,707 Take off your clothes! 445 00:15:29,742 --> 00:15:31,077 Take off your belt! 446 00:15:31,106 --> 00:15:32,840 Take off your belt. 447 00:15:32,888 --> 00:15:34,284 Now, dance. 448 00:15:43,588 --> 00:15:46,256 Turn around. Turn around. 449 00:15:46,425 --> 00:15:47,665 Okay, okay, okay. 450 00:15:47,696 --> 00:15:48,943 All right, all right, all right. 451 00:15:48,968 --> 00:15:50,738 Yeah, look, look, He's got no wire. 452 00:15:50,759 --> 00:15:52,715 He's not... he's not a policeman, he's... 453 00:15:52,740 --> 00:15:54,565 Guys, I'm not wearing a wire. 454 00:15:54,736 --> 00:15:56,080 I'm not a cop. 455 00:15:56,196 --> 00:15:57,714 I just sweat like this when I'm lying. 456 00:15:57,738 --> 00:15:58,833 Lying? 457 00:15:58,854 --> 00:15:59,887 - Lying? - No. 458 00:15:59,925 --> 00:16:00,972 - Nobody is lying. - No... 459 00:16:01,009 --> 00:16:02,009 You lying to me? 460 00:16:02,058 --> 00:16:03,896 Tire iron! Tire iron! 461 00:16:03,949 --> 00:16:05,100 You're lying! 462 00:16:10,437 --> 00:16:11,672 What is he doing? 463 00:16:11,770 --> 00:16:13,268 The... the gum! 464 00:16:13,484 --> 00:16:14,759 The gum had sugar in it. 465 00:16:14,814 --> 00:16:16,198 These guys are weird. 466 00:16:16,336 --> 00:16:17,417 Weird. 467 00:16:17,454 --> 00:16:18,560 Strange! 468 00:16:18,947 --> 00:16:20,110 You're weird. 469 00:16:35,832 --> 00:16:38,414 Now you have to talk to each other! 470 00:16:38,907 --> 00:16:40,951 You've been conned. 471 00:16:41,105 --> 00:16:42,161 God, I'm good. 472 00:16:42,180 --> 00:16:46,022 That's not a con, Jess! You're just driving away. 473 00:16:48,905 --> 00:16:51,743 I was ready to get your friend's money back for her, okay? 474 00:16:51,791 --> 00:16:53,464 But you insisted on coming here. 475 00:16:53,514 --> 00:16:55,945 You know what? You know what's funny about you? 476 00:16:56,008 --> 00:16:58,211 Somehow, you have made this... 477 00:16:58,356 --> 00:17:00,424 seem like my fault. 478 00:17:00,517 --> 00:17:01,998 This isn't my fault! 479 00:17:02,052 --> 00:17:03,992 I didn't invite you here! 480 00:17:05,259 --> 00:17:06,865 Keep talking. 481 00:17:07,335 --> 00:17:09,369 This is good for you guys. 482 00:17:10,281 --> 00:17:13,056 Are you angry at me about something, Little Penis? 483 00:17:13,207 --> 00:17:17,224 I have been mad at you for 30 years, Dad. 484 00:17:17,268 --> 00:17:20,822 - 30 years? - I am not a successful adult. 485 00:17:20,885 --> 00:17:24,697 I don't eat vegetables and/or take care of myself. 486 00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:27,058 And it's because of you. 487 00:17:27,587 --> 00:17:29,810 Well, okay, maybe I'll take a little bit of that hit. 488 00:17:29,844 --> 00:17:31,545 Look, it's not "taking a hit." 489 00:17:33,372 --> 00:17:35,673 It's just saying sorry. 490 00:17:37,472 --> 00:17:39,566 I think you look cold. I'm gonna give you my pants. 491 00:17:39,588 --> 00:17:41,238 - I don't want your pants. - Come on, take the pants! 492 00:17:41,259 --> 00:17:43,084 - Dad, please don't do that. - You say I do nothing for you. 493 00:17:43,109 --> 00:17:44,914 - Let me give you my pants. - I don't want your pants! 494 00:17:44,938 --> 00:17:46,580 Don't do this. Please don't do this. 495 00:17:46,660 --> 00:17:48,093 Take my pants. 496 00:17:49,494 --> 00:17:51,486 This is making it worse! 497 00:17:54,663 --> 00:17:56,030 Dad, the... 498 00:17:57,481 --> 00:17:59,063 This is ridiculous. 499 00:18:00,831 --> 00:18:01,943 Okay. 500 00:18:04,234 --> 00:18:06,702 All right, maybe, uh... 501 00:18:07,283 --> 00:18:10,699 maybe I did make some mistakes along the line, okay? 502 00:18:16,370 --> 00:18:19,171 We all make mistakes, Dad. 503 00:18:20,439 --> 00:18:22,686 Hey, what do you say, tomorrow, we go to a game? 504 00:18:22,718 --> 00:18:24,659 Any game, you pick it out. 505 00:18:24,743 --> 00:18:26,511 I'm in. 506 00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:30,109 You're welcome! Son of a... 507 00:18:30,461 --> 00:18:33,196 This thing doesn't turn so well. 508 00:18:33,258 --> 00:18:35,593 Do you think Cece and Pavun will make it? 509 00:18:35,904 --> 00:18:37,038 I don't know. 510 00:18:37,068 --> 00:18:38,189 Really can't say. 511 00:18:38,214 --> 00:18:40,014 What I can say is that one arranged marriage 512 00:18:40,034 --> 00:18:41,296 did take place today. 513 00:18:41,558 --> 00:18:43,287 The marriage of Schmidt and Robby. 514 00:18:43,318 --> 00:18:46,053 Hell, yeah. 515 00:18:46,093 --> 00:18:48,551 I only dread the day that we defeat all the Indians, 516 00:18:48,667 --> 00:18:51,097 and must face each other in a duel to the death. 517 00:18:51,474 --> 00:18:52,677 Yeah. 518 00:18:52,876 --> 00:18:54,349 Buzz kill. 519 00:18:54,444 --> 00:18:56,882 We're like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. 520 00:18:56,928 --> 00:18:59,341 Except only one of us dies at the end of the movie. 521 00:18:59,944 --> 00:19:01,210 It's gonna be you. 522 00:19:01,434 --> 00:19:02,753 You're the one that's gonna die. 523 00:19:02,773 --> 00:19:05,802 - You want another beer? - Sure do, compadre. 524 00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:09,602 Hey, Walt. 525 00:19:09,646 --> 00:19:10,579 What are you doing? 526 00:19:10,603 --> 00:19:13,247 I thought you were gonna go to a game with Nick today. 527 00:19:13,290 --> 00:19:14,656 Going to get a bagel. 528 00:19:14,693 --> 00:19:15,693 In Chicago. 529 00:19:15,698 --> 00:19:17,733 No! No, I can't... 530 00:19:17,769 --> 00:19:19,904 No. Um, I can't let you go. 531 00:19:19,945 --> 00:19:20,995 This means too much to Nick. 532 00:19:21,026 --> 00:19:23,595 You can't just say you're gonna do things and then not do them. 533 00:19:23,626 --> 00:19:24,759 - What was that? - What was what? 534 00:19:24,796 --> 00:19:26,275 - That. - What? What? 535 00:19:29,812 --> 00:19:31,051 Damn, you're good. 536 00:19:31,082 --> 00:19:33,584 Listen, Blue Eyes, do me a favor, will ya? 537 00:19:34,210 --> 00:19:36,563 Will you tell him for me that I, uh... 538 00:19:37,715 --> 00:19:39,549 You know, that I... 539 00:19:40,204 --> 00:19:42,572 Just keep an eye on him for me, will ya? 540 00:19:50,972 --> 00:19:52,888 Jess, if you're gonna mess with my sink, 541 00:19:52,925 --> 00:19:54,192 put some goggles on. 542 00:19:54,212 --> 00:19:55,711 Your eyes are twice the size 543 00:19:55,742 --> 00:19:57,856 of normal eyes; It's a bigger target. 544 00:20:00,488 --> 00:20:01,923 Walt's gone. 545 00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:04,336 I know how hard 546 00:20:04,355 --> 00:20:07,199 it was for you to talk to him, and I just... 547 00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:11,697 some people, I just don't under... they just— aah! 548 00:20:11,813 --> 00:20:14,258 And I understand why you want to break pipes now. 549 00:20:14,302 --> 00:20:16,836 Let's just drink a bunch and destroy the sink. 550 00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:20,656 I don't need to break the pipes, Jess; I'm fine. 551 00:20:20,815 --> 00:20:23,050 I mean, truth be told, I was happy to see him. 552 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:26,580 - I thought if you talked to him that maybe... - No... Look, Jess... 553 00:20:26,692 --> 00:20:28,325 people don't change. 554 00:20:28,349 --> 00:20:30,975 If someone's broken, they just stay broken. 555 00:20:31,243 --> 00:20:33,110 You're not broken. 556 00:20:33,478 --> 00:20:34,991 I'm a little broken. 557 00:20:35,073 --> 00:20:36,523 - No, no, no... no. - Oh, yeah. 558 00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:38,453 You should be so much worse. 559 00:20:38,585 --> 00:20:40,973 Seriously, you could be picking up calls on a banana. 560 00:20:41,208 --> 00:20:42,075 You could be, like, 561 00:20:42,106 --> 00:20:43,394 "Hello?" 562 00:20:43,556 --> 00:20:45,742 I don't know how you made it out. 563 00:20:45,831 --> 00:20:49,100 But... you're good. 564 00:20:51,541 --> 00:20:53,805 Well, look, there's a lot I don't tell you. 565 00:20:53,917 --> 00:20:56,886 I haven't done laundry in five months. 566 00:20:57,152 --> 00:20:58,296 I'm not wearing underwear. 567 00:20:58,333 --> 00:21:00,878 - I'm just wearing a big sock right now. - Really. 568 00:21:00,919 --> 00:21:03,555 A big sock. 569 00:21:03,591 --> 00:21:05,225 - A very big sock. - I got it. 570 00:21:06,853 --> 00:21:08,188 What do you think about this? 571 00:21:08,223 --> 00:21:10,046 We get a three-person canoe, okay? 572 00:21:10,071 --> 00:21:11,554 Then we got to her house and we rap on the door. 573 00:21:11,585 --> 00:21:13,854 She answers the door, she sees the three-person canoe. 574 00:21:13,903 --> 00:21:15,795 She realizes there's only two of us, 575 00:21:15,819 --> 00:21:19,213 and we say, "Ah, what a conundrum. Please join us." 576 00:21:19,251 --> 00:21:21,783 How about this one? We get some night-vision goggles. 577 00:21:21,933 --> 00:21:24,215 All right, that's all I got. I don't... I don't know what else. 578 00:21:24,251 --> 00:21:25,898 I mean, I would say Trojan horse, but... 579 00:21:25,936 --> 00:21:28,203 - In this economy? - I mean, we could always go on a hunger strike. 580 00:21:28,245 --> 00:21:32,068 We enlist in the Navy, we quickly rise through the ranks, 581 00:21:32,085 --> 00:21:35,011 and then we can take her to the Naval Officer's Ball. 582 00:21:35,023 --> 00:21:36,886 Feel like we're right there! 583 00:21:36,957 --> 00:21:41,957 Sync & corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther