1 00:00:01,607 --> 00:00:04,100 Guess what! I got balloons. 2 00:00:04,118 --> 00:00:05,551 From a guy in a van. 3 00:00:05,599 --> 00:00:06,971 I love this neighborhood. 4 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:07,790 I just love it. 5 00:00:07,796 --> 00:00:10,184 Oh, what does that...? "Me so horny." Very good. 6 00:00:10,196 --> 00:00:12,820 "No credit, no problem!" And "Happy 100th, Jane!" 7 00:00:12,845 --> 00:00:14,876 I don't think she made it, but she lived a good life. 8 00:00:14,909 --> 00:00:16,389 Shut up! 9 00:00:16,407 --> 00:00:18,018 Who booby-trapped me? 10 00:00:18,035 --> 00:00:20,405 Stop! Shut up! 11 00:00:20,429 --> 00:00:21,855 It's my mom. 12 00:00:22,699 --> 00:00:24,964 Get off of me! 13 00:00:25,013 --> 00:00:27,157 - Yeah, Mom, hey. - Nick's just mad 14 00:00:27,182 --> 00:00:28,823 'cause that punk-ass balloon beat his ass. 15 00:00:28,842 --> 00:00:30,526 Hey, no huffing. Come on, guys. 16 00:00:30,545 --> 00:00:32,328 Take these seriously, Winston. 17 00:00:32,340 --> 00:00:35,723 I didn't buy the balloons to have you guys... 18 00:00:37,277 --> 00:00:39,922 If you do that one more time, I'm gonna break your faces in. 19 00:00:46,027 --> 00:00:47,861 Uh, my dad died. 20 00:00:50,445 --> 00:00:52,422 Yeah, I guess he had a heart attack. 21 00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:54,624 I got to go back to, uh, Chicago 22 00:00:54,642 --> 00:00:58,102 and, uh, go to the funeral and everything. 23 00:01:01,441 --> 00:01:03,408 Well, are you guys gonna say anything or... 24 00:01:05,220 --> 00:01:07,148 - That's terrible, Nick. - Wow, we're so sorry. 25 00:01:07,172 --> 00:01:08,782 If there's anything we can do, please. 26 00:01:08,801 --> 00:01:09,945 - Come here. - Not Walt. - Just... 27 00:01:09,971 --> 00:01:11,179 - Give me a hug. - Nick. 28 00:01:11,460 --> 00:01:12,679 We love you. 29 00:01:12,689 --> 00:01:13,656 Love you, Nick. 30 00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:14,964 Stay strong. 31 00:01:21,019 --> 00:01:24,019 Sync & corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 32 00:01:24,512 --> 00:01:26,559 So this is where Nick Miller grew up. 33 00:01:26,578 --> 00:01:30,174 Well, except for the fall of '88 to spring of '89. 34 00:01:30,193 --> 00:01:31,867 That was our van year. 35 00:01:31,974 --> 00:01:33,111 I just want you to know 36 00:01:33,129 --> 00:01:34,797 - I am here for you. - Okay. 37 00:01:34,816 --> 00:01:36,278 I'm gonna be strong for you, man. 38 00:01:36,306 --> 00:01:37,884 You know, I really did love Walt. 39 00:01:37,933 --> 00:01:39,041 He was my dad, Winston. 40 00:01:39,060 --> 00:01:41,369 Yeah, but, I mean, he loved me more than he loved you. 41 00:01:41,387 --> 00:01:43,382 - He told me that. - Yeah, he told me that, too, actually. 42 00:01:43,408 --> 00:01:44,795 Sorry. 43 00:01:44,820 --> 00:01:45,920 You okay, Schmidt? 44 00:01:45,951 --> 00:01:47,569 I didn't want to make this about me, but... 45 00:01:47,587 --> 00:01:48,957 the airline lost my bag. 46 00:01:49,019 --> 00:01:51,696 I wanted to look fantastic for your father's funeral. 47 00:01:51,922 --> 00:01:54,189 Now I have nothing but the schmatta on my back. 48 00:01:54,220 --> 00:01:57,312 All right. Let's do this. 49 00:01:57,554 --> 00:01:59,355 Uh, Jess, we should warn you. 50 00:01:59,374 --> 00:02:01,274 Nick's family— a little crazy. 51 00:02:01,300 --> 00:02:02,955 - It's called pop! - Just call it soda. 52 00:02:02,979 --> 00:02:04,530 - It's soda, all right? - It's not! It's not! 53 00:02:04,556 --> 00:02:05,881 - Hey, Uncle Nicky. - Hey, man. 54 00:02:05,899 --> 00:02:07,571 - No, it's called soda. - It's called pop! 55 00:02:07,590 --> 00:02:08,635 It's called soda. It's called soda. 56 00:02:08,657 --> 00:02:11,016 - Why would you call it soda if it's pop? - You call your dad pop! 57 00:02:11,041 --> 00:02:12,140 - Hey. - It's Nick. 58 00:02:12,170 --> 00:02:13,979 - Hey. Nickels. - My brother Nick's back, guys. 59 00:02:13,991 --> 00:02:15,859 - My condolences, all right? - Hey, thanks for making it out. 60 00:02:15,877 --> 00:02:17,426 Sorry about that. Your brother's being a douche. 61 00:02:17,438 --> 00:02:19,254 Yeah. I'm not being a douche! I'm emotional! 62 00:02:19,272 --> 00:02:20,937 - Oh, God... - You've been a douche all day. 63 00:02:20,975 --> 00:02:22,471 - I mean, why? - I know. I know. 64 00:02:22,492 --> 00:02:24,323 You been... you been crying a bunch, buddy? 65 00:02:24,354 --> 00:02:26,060 - No. - He'll get your shoulder all wet, too. 66 00:02:26,078 --> 00:02:28,842 Hey, look, don't do the hair-pull. It's so intimate. 67 00:02:28,854 --> 00:02:30,184 - You okay? - I'm not okay! 68 00:02:30,202 --> 00:02:32,629 Jamie, here's what I need you to do: Grab a bunch of kids 69 00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,076 and teach them how to build a snowman outside. 70 00:02:34,100 --> 00:02:35,854 I can't do that! I already did it already! 71 00:02:35,866 --> 00:02:37,837 - He put the carrot in the crotch. - Why'd you put the carrot in the crotch? 72 00:02:37,856 --> 00:02:39,374 - 'Cause they told me to! - They're kids. 73 00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:41,359 Those kids are cool! I wanted to hang out! 74 00:02:41,377 --> 00:02:42,967 Don't trust cops. 75 00:02:42,992 --> 00:02:43,856 Nicky! 76 00:02:43,868 --> 00:02:46,527 - Hey, Ma. - Oh. 77 00:02:46,895 --> 00:02:49,590 Oh. I miss him, Nicky. 78 00:02:49,608 --> 00:02:52,151 - Yeah, I know, Ma. - That bastard was a saint. 79 00:02:52,438 --> 00:02:53,671 A saint. 80 00:02:53,832 --> 00:02:55,935 - The bastard. - I know. Come here. Hey. 81 00:02:56,035 --> 00:02:57,832 This is getting very personal. May... 82 00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:59,347 Maybe none of us should go to the funeral. 83 00:02:59,373 --> 00:03:01,754 The early buzz on this thing is that it's gonna be a real drag. 84 00:03:01,772 --> 00:03:05,216 - So what still needs to get done? - We need to, uh, get the groceries, 85 00:03:05,234 --> 00:03:08,066 - uh, plan the funeral, call the paper... - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 86 00:03:08,090 --> 00:03:09,578 Did you say "plan the funeral"? 87 00:03:09,597 --> 00:03:11,542 That's why you're here, Nicky. 88 00:03:11,646 --> 00:03:13,314 You take care of everything. 89 00:03:13,330 --> 00:03:16,205 - I got the napkins! - Oh, that's so hot. 90 00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:19,097 - Great, Jamie. - Is Nick taking care of people? 91 00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:21,206 Yeah, with Pop-Pop coming and going, Nick had to step up 92 00:03:21,225 --> 00:03:22,584 and be the man of the family. 93 00:03:22,615 --> 00:03:24,006 Pretty much takes care of all of them. 94 00:03:24,025 --> 00:03:26,481 Don't laugh when they call him responsible. 95 00:03:26,542 --> 00:03:28,477 They don't know why that's hilarious. 96 00:03:28,899 --> 00:03:31,564 Um... Oh... Hi, Mrs. Miller. 97 00:03:31,577 --> 00:03:33,433 I'm so sorry for your loss. 98 00:03:33,451 --> 00:03:35,983 - If there's anything I can do to help, I... - Who are you? 99 00:03:36,015 --> 00:03:38,380 - Oh, I'm sorry. I'm Jess. - This is Jess, my new roommate. 100 00:03:38,399 --> 00:03:40,249 - Um, so nice to meet you. - I've told you about her. 101 00:03:40,268 --> 00:03:42,474 Winnie and Fat Schmidt I know. Hey, boys. 102 00:03:42,505 --> 00:03:43,662 I just wanted to say that 103 00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:45,843 I'm here and happy to do anything. 104 00:03:45,862 --> 00:03:47,443 Is she a Spanish? 105 00:03:47,525 --> 00:03:50,260 Um... I'm from Portland, Oregon. 106 00:03:50,877 --> 00:03:52,744 Land of books. 107 00:03:54,755 --> 00:03:56,652 Trailblazers. 108 00:03:58,192 --> 00:03:59,358 Hmm. 109 00:04:00,047 --> 00:04:02,063 Are you guys, uh... 110 00:04:02,125 --> 00:04:05,061 - Jamie, I'm begging you to shut up. - Your father always wanted 111 00:04:05,084 --> 00:04:08,404 to have a funeral just like Elvis had, so that's what we're gonna give him. 112 00:04:08,422 --> 00:04:10,815 - A funeral like Elvis had? - That means... 113 00:04:10,848 --> 00:04:13,862 12 white limos and an Elvis impersonator... 114 00:04:14,023 --> 00:04:16,551 Dad's gonna get the funeral you want him to have, okay? 115 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,845 So tell me what needs to get done, and I'll just do it. 116 00:04:18,869 --> 00:04:21,228 Oh, the eulogy. 117 00:04:22,348 --> 00:04:23,049 You... 118 00:04:23,072 --> 00:04:24,645 - you'll do the eulogy, right? - Oh... 119 00:04:24,664 --> 00:04:26,255 I don't think I should do it. 120 00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:28,339 You just say a bunch of nice stuff all in a row. 121 00:04:28,363 --> 00:04:30,415 - Do it, College. You got it. - Nick, you have to. 122 00:04:30,438 --> 00:04:31,850 - You should do it. - Come on, Nicky. 123 00:04:31,875 --> 00:04:33,878 - You're a good poem. Do one of your good ones. - You should do it. 124 00:04:33,919 --> 00:04:35,455 Come on, man. You got to. 125 00:04:35,485 --> 00:04:37,293 Yeah, okay. Sure. I'll, uh... 126 00:04:37,506 --> 00:04:39,163 That's my boy. 127 00:04:39,187 --> 00:04:41,409 He takes care of everything. 128 00:04:50,919 --> 00:04:52,269 - Hey. - Hey, Jess. 129 00:04:52,293 --> 00:04:54,189 It's like a whole secret life for you. 130 00:04:54,227 --> 00:04:56,011 You're not even looking at the numbers. 131 00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:58,478 Aunt Ruthie used to call this the Iron Jew. 132 00:04:58,502 --> 00:04:59,804 Wow. 133 00:05:00,681 --> 00:05:02,464 Are you having time to process this? 134 00:05:02,489 --> 00:05:05,744 Yeah, I'm just trying to figure out the level of Elvis impersonator we can afford. 135 00:05:05,756 --> 00:05:06,413 Uh-huh. 136 00:05:06,452 --> 00:05:08,386 And I think a white one's out of reach. 137 00:05:08,415 --> 00:05:10,076 Is there anything I could do to help? 138 00:05:10,368 --> 00:05:12,179 - The eulogy. - Sorry? 139 00:05:12,197 --> 00:05:15,585 Oh, that would be really helpful 'cause that's been getting in my way a little bit. 140 00:05:15,596 --> 00:05:17,421 I didn't really know your dad except... 141 00:05:17,465 --> 00:05:20,508 the one hour that I committed fraud with him. 142 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:23,067 - That's all there is to know, really. - I think that's, you know, one task 143 00:05:23,085 --> 00:05:24,761 I think maybe is better if you... 144 00:05:24,779 --> 00:05:26,536 Look, I've got to figure out an Elvis theme. 145 00:05:26,561 --> 00:05:29,967 You know, Elvis-themed flowers and food and music all in a day. 146 00:05:29,992 --> 00:05:33,303 I just... You asked if there was anything you could do, and there is. 147 00:05:34,931 --> 00:05:36,647 - Okay. I'll do it. - Yay! Thank you. 148 00:05:36,683 --> 00:05:38,389 - Yeah. - Oh, you are the best. 149 00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:40,840 - Hey, Nick. - Yeah. 150 00:05:40,864 --> 00:05:44,443 For Elvis-themed music, what about Elvis? 151 00:05:44,481 --> 00:05:46,017 I'm really... I'm so slammed right now. 152 00:05:46,035 --> 00:05:47,642 I can't hear, like, new stuff. 153 00:05:49,966 --> 00:05:52,845 Looking good, man. This was Walt's best suit. 154 00:05:52,876 --> 00:05:55,218 Look at all these buttons, Winston. I look like a remote control. 155 00:05:55,237 --> 00:05:57,463 - It looks good. - I can't mourn in this. 156 00:05:57,565 --> 00:05:59,581 - I don't even know how to use these buttons. - Hey, look, 157 00:05:59,592 --> 00:06:01,338 we're not mourning, okay? 158 00:06:01,387 --> 00:06:03,824 This is a celebration, you know? That's what funerals are about... 159 00:06:03,842 --> 00:06:05,558 Winston, I just can't go to the funeral, okay? 160 00:06:05,581 --> 00:06:07,774 - I don't want to go! - What the hell is the problem? 161 00:06:08,416 --> 00:06:10,513 Look, I really want to support Nick. I do. 162 00:06:10,543 --> 00:06:13,270 I want to support his family. I want to be there for him, but... 163 00:06:14,362 --> 00:06:15,847 I'm scared of death. 164 00:06:17,721 --> 00:06:20,068 Uh... wow. Uh... 165 00:06:20,181 --> 00:06:22,134 Schmidt, you know, death is natural, you know? 166 00:06:22,159 --> 00:06:24,132 It's a natural part of life. Everybody's scared of death. 167 00:06:24,138 --> 00:06:26,145 Death, Winston. 168 00:06:26,870 --> 00:06:29,520 Death. Death. 169 00:06:29,725 --> 00:06:31,739 And let me ask you something, 170 00:06:31,801 --> 00:06:33,854 What's with this open casket thing? 171 00:06:34,250 --> 00:06:37,094 All of a sudden, I-I got to walk in and I got to see the carcass? 172 00:06:37,408 --> 00:06:38,775 That's crazy. 173 00:06:38,980 --> 00:06:40,444 What if... what if his eyes open? 174 00:06:40,462 --> 00:06:41,917 What if his eyes open, and then he comes 175 00:06:41,935 --> 00:06:43,958 and haunts all of us? Why do... Why... 176 00:06:43,977 --> 00:06:45,562 Literally, why are the buttons on here? 177 00:06:45,586 --> 00:06:46,950 Because they're not holding anything together, 178 00:06:46,998 --> 00:06:48,564 yet I don't know which buttons are buttoned. 179 00:06:48,576 --> 00:06:50,138 How do you get this thing off, Winston? 180 00:06:50,157 --> 00:06:52,068 I don't understand this middle-class button system! 181 00:06:52,091 --> 00:06:53,286 Get it off of me! 182 00:06:55,510 --> 00:06:57,945 So I don't think I'm gonna go to the funeral, man. 183 00:06:58,319 --> 00:07:00,179 I think I'm gonna hang back. 184 00:07:00,222 --> 00:07:03,321 So, um, I'm helping Nick with the eulogy. 185 00:07:03,334 --> 00:07:05,766 I'll give you the goods on Walt, Glasses Face. 186 00:07:05,790 --> 00:07:08,620 My pop had a table at every diner in the city. 187 00:07:08,643 --> 00:07:12,250 He had silverware from the finest hotels in the area. 188 00:07:12,308 --> 00:07:15,265 He had a gold chain as thick as floss. 189 00:07:15,464 --> 00:07:17,529 But, like, thick floss. 190 00:07:17,975 --> 00:07:19,363 Wait, Walt's got that chain? 191 00:07:19,369 --> 00:07:20,908 Yeah, he got that chain. That's his chain. 192 00:07:20,932 --> 00:07:23,758 - That was my dad's chain. - No, it was Walt's signature piece. 193 00:07:23,782 --> 00:07:25,883 No, he got that from the Seiko watch deal. 194 00:07:25,908 --> 00:07:28,437 No, he got it from the dishwasher arrangement. 195 00:07:28,455 --> 00:07:29,871 - No, he didn't. - Yes, he did. 196 00:07:29,896 --> 00:07:31,434 My dad took a dart in the eye for that. 197 00:07:31,459 --> 00:07:33,168 I don't care what your dad took a dart 198 00:07:33,181 --> 00:07:34,740 - in the eye for. - Guys. Guys, guys, guys. 199 00:07:34,773 --> 00:07:36,667 - Can we refocus? - I can't! 200 00:07:36,682 --> 00:07:39,226 - Because he's accusing my father of thievery! - Hey! 201 00:07:39,251 --> 00:07:41,657 - Can we just talk about Walt? - Yeah, so what's the deal 202 00:07:41,675 --> 00:07:43,999 with you and Nick? Are you guys, uh... 203 00:07:44,578 --> 00:07:45,362 Could you... 204 00:07:45,374 --> 00:07:47,347 could you stop doing that with your eyebrows? 205 00:07:48,033 --> 00:07:50,167 Please stop doing... Stop. 206 00:07:50,198 --> 00:07:51,883 - They're doing it. They're doing it. - Yeah. 207 00:07:51,901 --> 00:07:54,705 - No. - Whoever denied it supplied it. 208 00:07:55,072 --> 00:07:56,953 Now, this would be the casket. 209 00:07:57,815 --> 00:07:59,103 And now I'm dead. 210 00:07:59,366 --> 00:08:01,575 - So approach me and don't be afraid. - Just promise 211 00:08:01,593 --> 00:08:03,616 not to move, all right? 212 00:08:03,789 --> 00:08:05,778 - That's what I'm afraid of most. - Are you k... are you kidding me? 213 00:08:05,797 --> 00:08:08,281 - Also, you can't breathe. - Schmidt, I need to breathe, okay? 214 00:08:08,299 --> 00:08:10,528 Because I'm coaching you, and also for regular life reasons. 215 00:08:10,546 --> 00:08:11,766 Now, just calm down, 216 00:08:11,790 --> 00:08:15,052 find a joyful memory and let it lift you to the sky. 217 00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:22,470 You left us too soon, 218 00:08:22,691 --> 00:08:25,213 - you beautiful black butterfly. - Start over. 219 00:08:25,313 --> 00:08:27,124 You know, when we first met, 220 00:08:27,273 --> 00:08:29,476 I thought that we would be rivals. 221 00:08:29,849 --> 00:08:33,859 For Nick's attention, for who wore Easter colors best. 222 00:08:34,257 --> 00:08:38,320 And then rivalry became friendship. 223 00:08:44,462 --> 00:08:47,412 We've laughed, we've swum. 224 00:08:47,546 --> 00:08:49,680 You cut my toenails. 225 00:08:49,817 --> 00:08:51,784 Are you the brother that I never had? 226 00:08:51,927 --> 00:08:53,391 No. 227 00:08:53,887 --> 00:08:56,538 - You're the brother that I've always had. - That was beautiful. 228 00:08:56,549 --> 00:08:58,335 - What are you doing, man? You moved! - Whoa! What the hell? 229 00:08:58,354 --> 00:09:00,079 Of course I moved! I'm not a real dead person! 230 00:09:00,091 --> 00:09:01,768 - You ghoul! - Why do I do this for you? 231 00:09:01,798 --> 00:09:03,278 Forget it, man. I'm never going to this thing. 232 00:09:03,294 --> 00:09:04,972 - You just made it worse. - What's wrong with you? 233 00:09:04,991 --> 00:09:06,566 $2,000? 234 00:09:06,604 --> 00:09:08,305 What if it wasn't six feet under? 235 00:09:08,729 --> 00:09:11,615 - How much for three feet? - I've gone through half a pack of ciggie gum here. 236 00:09:11,633 --> 00:09:14,201 - You want some of my weed? - Where are we on the food? 237 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,626 We-we got to have Elvis food. 238 00:09:15,645 --> 00:09:17,857 - Ma, I'm making calls right now. - It's got to be perfect. 239 00:09:17,869 --> 00:09:20,866 - It's gonna be perfect. You just got to let me do it. - If the food isn't Elvis-themed, 240 00:09:20,889 --> 00:09:23,264 - does it matter that much? - You got a problem with Elvis? 241 00:09:23,276 --> 00:09:25,010 - I don't... - No, she didn't say that. I'm gonna have to call you back. 242 00:09:25,041 --> 00:09:27,654 - No, she didn't say that. She didn't say that about Elvis. - I was just suggesting 243 00:09:27,673 --> 00:09:29,343 that maybe the Elvis theme doesn't matter as much... 244 00:09:29,356 --> 00:09:30,637 You don't think Elvis is important? 245 00:09:30,662 --> 00:09:32,953 - She knows Elvis is important, Ma! - Elvis is everything! 246 00:09:32,977 --> 00:09:35,205 I know. He's the King. He's the King. 247 00:09:35,229 --> 00:09:37,335 I'm sorry, Bonnie. He's the King. 248 00:09:37,714 --> 00:09:39,649 - Jess. - Nick... 249 00:09:39,842 --> 00:09:43,317 - I'm here to help, but I can't write this eulogy. - Wait, what? 250 00:09:43,329 --> 00:09:45,828 - Do you want some of my weed? - I asked you to do one thing. 251 00:09:45,834 --> 00:09:47,870 - I need you to write the eulogy. - But I didn't know Walt. 252 00:09:47,895 --> 00:09:50,487 Nobody wants to hear what I have to say about my dad. 253 00:09:50,504 --> 00:09:52,592 It doesn't matter what you say. You just... you h... 254 00:09:52,612 --> 00:09:56,329 you have to say good-bye to him. - I'm not asking you to do too much. 255 00:09:56,416 --> 00:09:58,998 Just write my father's eulogy. 256 00:09:59,497 --> 00:10:00,978 I can't handle this! 257 00:10:01,115 --> 00:10:02,561 - Nick. - My dad's chain! 258 00:10:02,580 --> 00:10:03,843 - Nick. - I want that chain! 259 00:10:03,881 --> 00:10:05,725 Hey, Nick! Nick! He popped me right in my cherry! 260 00:10:05,750 --> 00:10:07,255 That's not what that means, Jamie! 261 00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:09,164 - Then what does it mean? - Nick! 262 00:10:09,189 --> 00:10:11,213 Where are you going? 263 00:10:11,846 --> 00:10:13,982 I forgot my jacket. It's really cold outside! 264 00:10:13,998 --> 00:10:15,331 Nick, wait! 265 00:10:16,011 --> 00:10:16,878 Ow! 266 00:10:27,404 --> 00:10:28,510 - Hey. - Hey. 267 00:10:28,529 --> 00:10:29,898 When's the last time you saw Nick? 268 00:10:29,935 --> 00:10:31,329 - Is he not here? - What are you guys talking about? 269 00:10:31,348 --> 00:10:32,624 Schmidt, if you want to hear what we're saying, 270 00:10:32,642 --> 00:10:34,074 come over here. - Don't shout across the room. 271 00:10:34,098 --> 00:10:35,516 It's bad luck to see the body before the funeral. 272 00:10:35,548 --> 00:10:37,266 No, that's, like, a wedding thing, Schmidt. 273 00:10:37,278 --> 00:10:38,366 Shh. 274 00:10:38,394 --> 00:10:40,567 I think I said something to Nick. I think this is my fault. 275 00:10:40,586 --> 00:10:42,912 Hey, everybody! I brought Elvis! 276 00:10:42,949 --> 00:10:44,621 - Funeral saved. - What? 277 00:10:44,670 --> 00:10:46,700 - Hey, happy funeral, Jess. - What happened? 278 00:10:46,725 --> 00:10:48,623 What happened is I found this guy at the bar 279 00:10:48,635 --> 00:10:49,945 and he fits into the costume, 280 00:10:49,970 --> 00:10:51,767 so for 20 bucks, he's gonna be Elvis. 281 00:10:51,786 --> 00:10:53,972 I thought you wanted me to kill Elvis for 20 bucks. 282 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,602 Then why would I give you the outfit, Brendan? 283 00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:58,182 The element of surprise? 284 00:10:58,207 --> 00:10:59,302 - Yeah. - The mirror effect? 285 00:10:59,333 --> 00:11:00,956 - He's gonna be perfect. - Mmm. 286 00:11:00,975 --> 00:11:03,071 - Whose birthday is it? - No, it's my dad's funeral. 287 00:11:03,090 --> 00:11:04,169 I'm gonna go find cake. 288 00:11:04,174 --> 00:11:05,336 How much have you had to drink? 289 00:11:05,355 --> 00:11:07,239 One dozen beers. And I wrote... 290 00:11:07,256 --> 00:11:08,949 I did what you asked me to do, Jessica. 291 00:11:08,973 --> 00:11:10,947 - I wrote the, uh, gigleography. - The what? 292 00:11:10,978 --> 00:11:13,210 - The gigleography. - A "gigleography"? 293 00:11:13,235 --> 00:11:13,991 Urology. 294 00:11:14,027 --> 00:11:15,923 - Elegy? - Eulogish. 295 00:11:15,954 --> 00:11:17,166 You wrote the eulogy. 296 00:11:17,354 --> 00:11:19,273 That's what I've been saying the whole time— it's right here. 297 00:11:19,298 --> 00:11:21,662 "Walt Miller. Am I right?" 298 00:11:21,699 --> 00:11:23,871 Am I right? Am I right? 299 00:11:23,902 --> 00:11:25,868 - That's terrible. - Googaliogy! 300 00:11:25,888 --> 00:11:27,704 All right, here's what we're gonna do. 301 00:11:27,735 --> 00:11:30,541 I'm gonna sober up Nick and... and Elvis. 302 00:11:30,572 --> 00:11:32,341 You, go buy us some time. 303 00:11:32,376 --> 00:11:34,427 All right, Schmidt, stop asking people 304 00:11:34,452 --> 00:11:36,563 - if they can smell the body. That is rude. - I'll try. 305 00:11:36,581 --> 00:11:38,876 - It's inappropriate and it's offensive, okay? - Okay, but I just... 306 00:11:38,901 --> 00:11:41,443 - All right? I got this. Shh. I got this. - It's what I... it's what I'm thinking. 307 00:11:41,461 --> 00:11:43,613 - Just don't say anything, okay? Come on. - Hi... 308 00:11:47,823 --> 00:11:50,273 Uh... the chain. 309 00:11:51,912 --> 00:11:53,439 Some... someone should stop... 310 00:11:53,464 --> 00:11:55,260 'Cause he's taking the chain. 311 00:11:58,024 --> 00:11:59,225 Hey, hey, quit it, man. 312 00:11:59,237 --> 00:12:00,574 - Don't do that. - Hey, beat it, Cali. 313 00:12:00,592 --> 00:12:01,717 Long Island, son. 314 00:12:01,735 --> 00:12:03,257 - I don't care. - Get off of it, man. 315 00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:04,711 - Just stop it. Stop it. - You touching me? You touching me? 316 00:12:04,734 --> 00:12:05,904 - Yeah, I'm touching you. - You don't touch me. 317 00:12:05,922 --> 00:12:07,695 - I don't want to go near that. - You don't touch me! 318 00:12:07,725 --> 00:12:08,872 - Quit it. - Do you want to go? 319 00:12:10,745 --> 00:12:12,211 Come on, do it. Come on, come on. 320 00:12:12,236 --> 00:12:13,991 - Here we go. - Get away from Walt's chain, man! 321 00:12:14,022 --> 00:12:16,286 I'm just saying... I... n-no! N-n-n-n-no! 322 00:12:16,311 --> 00:12:18,283 Please, no, no, no, no! No! 323 00:12:18,317 --> 00:12:19,641 - Desecration! - Shut up. 324 00:12:19,709 --> 00:12:20,849 Shut up. 325 00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:22,272 There's no desecration. 326 00:12:23,203 --> 00:12:25,164 Don't interrupt me. That's my dad's chain, and I'm taking it. 327 00:12:25,187 --> 00:12:26,917 - Shut your mouth. - What's wrong with you? 328 00:12:26,950 --> 00:12:28,917 Bobby, shut up. 329 00:12:32,450 --> 00:12:34,474 Dude, he's dead. What are you doing? 330 00:12:35,610 --> 00:12:37,090 - What are you doing? - Ooh! 331 00:12:37,580 --> 00:12:38,922 - What are you doing? - I'm not afraid. 332 00:12:38,940 --> 00:12:40,784 - Not afraid of what? - I'm not afraid. 333 00:12:41,091 --> 00:12:42,692 I can do this. 334 00:12:43,223 --> 00:12:45,675 I can do this all day. 335 00:12:46,129 --> 00:12:48,322 - Come on, don't do that. - All day, son. 336 00:12:48,341 --> 00:12:49,719 Come on, don't-don't put your head in there. 337 00:12:49,743 --> 00:12:51,400 - Don't put your head in there, all right? - All day. 338 00:12:51,430 --> 00:12:53,228 - Dude, that's my uncle. - Come get your chain, Boston! 339 00:12:53,246 --> 00:12:54,493 What? All day! 340 00:12:54,561 --> 00:12:56,812 All day! All day! 341 00:12:56,990 --> 00:12:58,216 - All day! - I don't need it. 342 00:12:58,229 --> 00:13:00,396 - I don't want it. - What's up! 343 00:13:01,036 --> 00:13:03,262 I know you told me to write it, but I couldn't. 344 00:13:03,286 --> 00:13:05,012 I didn't have anything to say. 345 00:13:05,199 --> 00:13:06,599 You're mad at me. 346 00:13:06,699 --> 00:13:08,400 You've got the mad face. 347 00:13:08,423 --> 00:13:10,424 I'm not mad at you, Nick. 348 00:13:11,017 --> 00:13:13,184 I'm not mad at you. I have your back. 349 00:13:13,475 --> 00:13:16,357 No matter what, no matter how stupid it gets, and... 350 00:13:17,099 --> 00:13:19,100 you and I both know 351 00:13:19,111 --> 00:13:21,174 it can get really, really stupid. 352 00:13:21,194 --> 00:13:24,230 - I am the stupidest of all the stupid boys. - No. 353 00:13:24,261 --> 00:13:27,838 I'm gonna be there, and I'm gonna hold your hand, 354 00:13:28,196 --> 00:13:30,334 and I wanted to tell you that last night, 355 00:13:30,358 --> 00:13:32,009 but you ran away. 356 00:13:33,326 --> 00:13:34,227 Yeah. 357 00:13:38,970 --> 00:13:40,508 I want to meet your mom. 358 00:13:40,566 --> 00:13:41,832 Oh, my God. 359 00:13:41,999 --> 00:13:43,352 Hey, Elvis! 360 00:13:43,396 --> 00:13:45,690 What are we going to do, Winnie? 361 00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:48,357 - Everyone's waiting. - Mrs. Miller, how about I just 362 00:13:48,375 --> 00:13:49,723 go up there and I say a few words? 363 00:13:49,741 --> 00:13:52,037 - Keep it light, keep it happy. - Right. 364 00:13:52,236 --> 00:13:54,537 Don't mention the felony thing. 365 00:13:54,587 --> 00:13:55,889 Or Paraguay, 366 00:13:55,907 --> 00:13:58,302 or the storage space. 367 00:13:58,905 --> 00:14:00,173 Hey, y'all. 368 00:14:01,113 --> 00:14:02,475 Ah... 369 00:14:02,628 --> 00:14:04,203 Now, some of y'all know me. 370 00:14:04,336 --> 00:14:05,771 I am Winston. 371 00:14:06,474 --> 00:14:08,849 And I look at today as a celebration. 372 00:14:09,066 --> 00:14:10,486 - So let's have a party. - That's right. 373 00:14:10,511 --> 00:14:12,019 You know, because a party 374 00:14:12,043 --> 00:14:14,821 is what Walt would have... 375 00:14:23,801 --> 00:14:25,797 A party is... a party, uh... 376 00:14:29,643 --> 00:14:32,611 - Walt would have wanted us to have a party. - Oh, dear. 377 00:14:35,433 --> 00:14:36,633 I can do this. 378 00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:38,844 I can do this, I can do this. 379 00:14:47,713 --> 00:14:49,947 Oh, Walt! 380 00:14:52,072 --> 00:14:54,302 I can't do this no more, Walt! 381 00:14:57,991 --> 00:14:59,612 Hey. You done with this? 382 00:14:59,630 --> 00:15:00,906 Hey! What's going on? 383 00:15:02,308 --> 00:15:04,193 - This is Elvis? - No... 384 00:15:04,230 --> 00:15:05,908 This funeral's going down the toilet. 385 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:08,887 I promised Walter it'd be beautiful and full of life. 386 00:15:08,979 --> 00:15:10,359 I promised. 387 00:15:10,471 --> 00:15:13,217 - I'm sending everyone home. - Wait. Bonnie. 388 00:15:13,238 --> 00:15:15,187 Are you tapping me on the shoulder, girlie? 389 00:15:15,218 --> 00:15:17,107 Let me make this totally clear. 390 00:15:17,212 --> 00:15:18,594 I don't want you here. 391 00:15:18,687 --> 00:15:19,882 I don't know you. 392 00:15:19,912 --> 00:15:21,448 I don't know your people. 393 00:15:22,365 --> 00:15:23,886 You tap me twice? 394 00:15:23,968 --> 00:15:25,555 I... please wait for Nick. 395 00:15:25,573 --> 00:15:26,440 It's important. 396 00:15:26,464 --> 00:15:28,655 Then why is he not here? 397 00:15:28,699 --> 00:15:30,844 No eulogy? No Elvis? 398 00:15:30,881 --> 00:15:34,389 I'd rather not have a funeral if it's not gonna honor my husband. 399 00:15:37,879 --> 00:15:39,530 And I'm out. 400 00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:43,936 I want to thank you for coming, 401 00:15:43,955 --> 00:15:47,691 but it's, uh, over now, so... 402 00:15:51,642 --> 00:15:52,913 Stop the funeral! 403 00:15:52,931 --> 00:15:54,901 Everybody sit down. 404 00:15:57,640 --> 00:15:59,247 This is the King. 405 00:15:59,279 --> 00:16:00,284 What the hell? 406 00:16:00,302 --> 00:16:02,029 I think you mean... 407 00:16:02,296 --> 00:16:04,297 "What the heaven?" 408 00:16:04,728 --> 00:16:05,620 Mama. 409 00:16:05,651 --> 00:16:06,997 It's Elvis. 410 00:16:12,902 --> 00:16:14,123 What is this? 411 00:16:44,613 --> 00:16:46,378 You know, this is every day in North Korea. 412 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:56,908 I'm gonna hit her. 413 00:16:56,937 --> 00:16:58,515 Mom, please. 414 00:16:59,161 --> 00:17:00,749 Dad would've liked this. 415 00:17:00,905 --> 00:17:04,737 He would've faked a slip and fall and sued the funeral home. 416 00:17:05,467 --> 00:17:07,467 But he would've liked this. 417 00:17:09,140 --> 00:17:10,463 Thank you, Jess. 418 00:17:10,494 --> 00:17:11,999 You're welcome, Mama. 419 00:17:12,084 --> 00:17:14,185 Oh... 420 00:17:25,036 --> 00:17:28,367 I used to always tell my dad that I hated Elvis just to piss him off. 421 00:17:29,877 --> 00:17:31,646 And he would get really mad 422 00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:34,645 the way Walt could get really mad. 423 00:17:34,912 --> 00:17:36,949 And, uh, he would turn it up loud 424 00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:41,012 just to spite me and sing all the Elvis songs. 425 00:17:45,460 --> 00:17:47,093 He was very good at gambling. 426 00:17:49,037 --> 00:17:50,400 He had a great mustache. 427 00:17:53,026 --> 00:17:54,008 - Hey, man. - What? 428 00:17:54,039 --> 00:17:56,868 And he was so mean to cabbies in such a cool way. 429 00:17:58,884 --> 00:18:00,927 And he never was scared. 430 00:18:02,686 --> 00:18:04,922 How did he do that? 431 00:18:08,357 --> 00:18:11,551 I don't know if Walt was... 432 00:18:12,364 --> 00:18:13,986 a good guy or a bad guy 433 00:18:14,005 --> 00:18:16,840 in the whole scheme of things, you know. 434 00:18:19,436 --> 00:18:21,971 But he was my dad, and I'm sure gonna miss him. 435 00:18:41,567 --> 00:18:43,514 You okay, Mama? 436 00:18:44,137 --> 00:18:46,342 Yeah, I'm gonna be okay, Mama. 437 00:19:23,716 --> 00:19:25,693 I really feel transported to the ghetto. 438 00:19:30,888 --> 00:19:33,801 You owe me a gold chain, or at least the price of a gold chain. 439 00:19:33,865 --> 00:19:36,866 Or maybe just a giant lobster. It's all about the gesture, 440 00:19:36,897 --> 00:19:38,194 and I will get my gesture. 441 00:19:38,218 --> 00:19:41,379 My face touched the mustache of a carcass today, Bobby. 442 00:19:41,410 --> 00:19:42,360 I'm not afraid of you. 443 00:19:42,385 --> 00:19:44,458 I got some advice for you: Stay out of Boston. 444 00:19:44,483 --> 00:19:47,105 - What, you gonna keep me out of the whole city? - I work TSA at Logan. 445 00:19:47,127 --> 00:19:48,969 I'll put a gun in your luggage. 446 00:19:49,125 --> 00:19:50,882 Why do you got to bring weapons into it, Bobby? 447 00:19:50,900 --> 00:19:53,510 Hey, wh-where do you think you're going with that hat? 448 00:19:53,543 --> 00:19:55,725 Bonnie, I just really wanted something to remember him by. 449 00:19:55,750 --> 00:19:57,450 Uh-huh. Empty your pockets. 450 00:19:57,468 --> 00:19:59,379 Okay, look, all I got is... 451 00:19:59,642 --> 00:20:00,829 this fishing wire 452 00:20:00,848 --> 00:20:03,247 and a Wrigley ticket stub with a button, 453 00:20:03,297 --> 00:20:04,506 and then there's the... 454 00:20:04,530 --> 00:20:06,329 there's the leg to his favorite chair, 455 00:20:06,357 --> 00:20:07,742 and there's the... 456 00:20:07,761 --> 00:20:09,228 Come. 457 00:20:09,984 --> 00:20:11,818 You keep it all. 458 00:20:17,012 --> 00:20:18,081 Hey, Bonnie. 459 00:20:18,103 --> 00:20:19,003 - Oh, sorry. - Mm-hmm. 460 00:20:19,029 --> 00:20:20,214 I almost tapped you. 461 00:20:20,234 --> 00:20:22,443 You scare me. 462 00:20:22,758 --> 00:20:25,327 Pretty fun weekend all in, though, right? 463 00:20:25,550 --> 00:20:27,736 I packed you a snack for the trip. 464 00:20:28,970 --> 00:20:30,270 Oh. 465 00:20:30,626 --> 00:20:31,923 Cheese puffs. 466 00:20:31,947 --> 00:20:33,003 - Thank you. - Mm-hmm. 467 00:20:33,021 --> 00:20:34,428 - Come here. - Oh... 468 00:20:34,446 --> 00:20:35,884 Ooh. 469 00:20:36,404 --> 00:20:38,239 - Oh, hey, Nick? - Yeah? 470 00:20:38,257 --> 00:20:40,453 How far away you are from getting married? 471 00:20:40,499 --> 00:20:41,414 I don't know. 472 00:20:41,439 --> 00:20:42,725 'Cause, uh, you know, 473 00:20:42,743 --> 00:20:45,686 DeAnn and I were thinking about getting married, so... 474 00:20:46,019 --> 00:20:49,533 Jamie, you know, brothers don't have to get married in order. 475 00:20:50,877 --> 00:20:53,058 DeAnn, we're doing this! 476 00:20:55,616 --> 00:20:57,563 Hey, I couldn't find the, uh, cat. 477 00:20:57,575 --> 00:21:00,351 I looked all over, but I just decided to clean out the litter box. 478 00:21:00,967 --> 00:21:03,753 I... owe you an apology. 479 00:21:03,771 --> 00:21:05,241 What are you talking about? 480 00:21:05,323 --> 00:21:07,358 We all depended on you so much, 481 00:21:07,376 --> 00:21:08,808 and you were just a kid. 482 00:21:08,832 --> 00:21:10,395 - Don't do this, Ma. - I'm just saying. 483 00:21:10,420 --> 00:21:12,235 You're going through enough. 484 00:21:13,147 --> 00:21:16,062 I'm glad you have someone who takes care of you. 485 00:21:20,923 --> 00:21:22,767 I love you, Ma. 486 00:21:27,508 --> 00:21:28,871 Visit more. 487 00:21:29,283 --> 00:21:31,422 So I don't have to talk to your brother all the time. 488 00:21:31,447 --> 00:21:32,802 She said yes! 489 00:22:06,916 --> 00:22:08,996 Pallbearers, please come down. 490 00:22:09,045 --> 00:22:14,045 Sync & corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther