1
00:00:17,789 --> 00:00:19,804
Fantastico.

2
00:00:26,695 --> 00:00:29,214
- Are you checking my pulse?
- You were very still.

3
00:00:32,339 --> 00:00:34,648
Well, that was really fun.

4
00:00:37,312 --> 00:00:40,387
I don't know what to
say here. Um...

5
00:00:40,815 --> 00:00:43,052
- I got an idea. Stay right here, okay?
- Okay.

6
00:00:43,071 --> 00:00:45,746
- Let me do something. Stay right here.
- Okay.

7
00:01:07,171 --> 00:01:09,194
We need some dessert.

8
00:01:12,868 --> 00:01:14,818
That's too much.

9
00:01:15,919 --> 00:01:18,037
Nah, definitely not doing that.

10
00:01:22,339 --> 00:01:23,633
Bob!

11
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:26,222
You. It's... you.

12
00:01:26,241 --> 00:01:28,697
- Nick.
- Right. Nick. How could I forget that?

13
00:01:28,709 --> 00:01:32,012
Sorry to interrupt you.
Wilson let me in.

14
00:01:32,672 --> 00:01:34,067
Well, what are you
doing with that?

15
00:01:34,092 --> 00:01:36,473
That, uh, looks like lady food.

16
00:01:36,583 --> 00:01:37,802
This is for Wilson.

17
00:01:37,832 --> 00:01:39,888
Yeah, Wilson,
here's your grapefruit,

18
00:01:39,909 --> 00:01:42,253
pie and eggs,
just like you like.

19
00:01:42,271 --> 00:01:44,996
- Is it because it's my birthday?
- It's your birthday?

20
00:01:45,257 --> 00:01:47,673
That's why I made it,
'cause it's your birthday.

21
00:01:47,699 --> 00:01:50,084
I know you're lying,
and I'm hurt,

22
00:01:50,500 --> 00:01:53,374
- but I'm gonna eat this anyway.
- See you later, Wilson.

23
00:01:53,821 --> 00:01:55,909
- What are you doing here, Bob?
- The wedding!

24
00:01:55,928 --> 00:01:58,671
I wouldn't miss Cece's
wedding. Where's Jess?

25
00:01:58,715 --> 00:02:01,351
Hey, Nick, what's our la...?

26
00:02:01,364 --> 00:02:02,720
Look who I bumped into—
your dad!

27
00:02:02,734 --> 00:02:04,659
- Dad!
- Your dad is here today, Jess!

28
00:02:09,096 --> 00:02:13,096
Sync and corrections by Norther
www.addic7ed.com

29
00:02:17,357 --> 00:02:18,943
Well?

30
00:02:19,275 --> 00:02:20,850
Are the reviews in?

31
00:02:20,862 --> 00:02:23,193
- The reviews for what?
- My new body.

32
00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:24,714
How it moves.

33
00:02:24,732 --> 00:02:26,183
Its pitch, its yaw.

34
00:02:26,195 --> 00:02:28,316
My perfectly sculpted
pubic topiary.

35
00:02:28,334 --> 00:02:30,752
I liked how your body moved

36
00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:32,686
before you knew
what to do with it.

37
00:02:37,851 --> 00:02:39,904
- Want to dance?
- Yeah, right.

38
00:02:39,947 --> 00:02:42,510
Fat kid wants to dance
at the cool college party.

39
00:02:42,541 --> 00:02:44,260
- Nice joke, stranger.
- Come on.

40
00:02:44,284 --> 00:02:47,407
If they make fun of you,
I'll punch them in the penis.

41
00:03:00,721 --> 00:03:03,159
You never cared about
what people thought.

42
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:06,602
I mean, even last night, with the
window open and the woof howls.

43
00:03:06,623 --> 00:03:08,342
It was very uncomfortable.

44
00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:12,063
Stop threatening to move,
Bernie, and just move!

45
00:03:12,081 --> 00:03:14,111
I love that about you.

46
00:03:14,250 --> 00:03:17,002
I'm gonna go to work. Do you
want to have lunch later?

47
00:03:21,306 --> 00:03:23,149
It's still impressive,

48
00:03:23,205 --> 00:03:24,861
but did you
lose weight down...?

49
00:03:24,892 --> 00:03:26,065
It's slightly smaller.

50
00:03:26,101 --> 00:03:27,789
Doctors—
no explanation.

51
00:03:27,802 --> 00:03:28,970
That's not normal.

52
00:03:28,988 --> 00:03:31,963
- Shut up, Bernie!
- Shut up, Bernie!

53
00:03:32,831 --> 00:03:36,267
He can never find out about
this, because he will kill you.

54
00:03:36,285 --> 00:03:38,944
When I was ten, he caught
me kissing Glenn Ely.

55
00:03:39,043 --> 00:03:41,635
He got some guys from the club
to put the fear of God in him.

56
00:03:47,512 --> 00:03:49,290
Help!

57
00:03:49,326 --> 00:03:52,433
- So, let me deal with him.
- Smile!

58
00:03:53,330 --> 00:03:55,730
- I got to get some new flash cubes.
- Dude,

59
00:03:55,756 --> 00:03:57,850
- keep your mouth shut. Okay?
- Great, fantastic.

60
00:03:57,862 --> 00:03:59,293
- Hey, Dad?
- Yeah?

61
00:03:59,305 --> 00:04:02,311
Why don't we take a walk?
Oh, it's Peg.

62
00:04:03,238 --> 00:04:04,794
- Peg.
- Hi, Jess.

63
00:04:04,824 --> 00:04:07,469
Guess what? I'm at a new school, and
there's an opening for a new teacher,

64
00:04:07,483 --> 00:04:10,077
and you'd be perfect.
Can you come in today?

65
00:04:10,124 --> 00:04:13,536
Yeah, I would love to. I just—
um, my dad's in town, so...

66
00:04:13,561 --> 00:04:16,333
I'm kind of out on a limb here. I
really talked you up to the principal.

67
00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:19,012
Guess what. Spoiler alert.
He's perking me.

68
00:04:19,687 --> 00:04:22,884
- Can you be here in 30 minutes?
- Okay, I'll figure it out.

69
00:04:22,890 --> 00:04:25,740
Amy! Put those back
in your shirt, both of them.

70
00:04:26,326 --> 00:04:28,797
Oh, my God. I have the
chance to teach kids again.

71
00:04:28,809 --> 00:04:30,486
You got to go.

72
00:04:30,837 --> 00:04:32,906
Oh... Dad, you should
come with me.

73
00:04:32,924 --> 00:04:34,312
Yes, you should go
with your daughter!

74
00:04:34,343 --> 00:04:36,693
What am I gonna do, sit in
your car and get mugged?

75
00:04:36,718 --> 00:04:40,380
I mean, I didn't gay my way out of
Vietnam just to be killed by some punk.

76
00:04:40,398 --> 00:04:41,954
No, no. No, I'll stay with him.

77
00:04:41,966 --> 00:04:43,929
- Oh, no, no, that, uh, that doesn't work.
- That's a bad idea.

78
00:04:43,935 --> 00:04:46,133
That's— I've-I've got stuff
I got to do, so...

79
00:04:46,151 --> 00:04:47,214
- Stuff?
- Yeah.

80
00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:49,880
You don't have any stuff.
Name one stuff.

81
00:04:50,409 --> 00:04:51,954
Documents.

82
00:04:51,996 --> 00:04:54,727
- Documents?
- Yeah, I got documents.

83
00:04:54,755 --> 00:04:56,106
Okay, I get it.

84
00:04:56,127 --> 00:04:58,379
You know, I'm always alone, so,

85
00:04:58,404 --> 00:05:00,020
I'll just, uh... be alone.

86
00:05:00,032 --> 00:05:01,845
- Do not fall for it.
- I am falling for it.

87
00:05:01,862 --> 00:05:04,305
- Do not fall for it. - I am falling for
it right this second. I'm feeling bad.

88
00:05:04,318 --> 00:05:06,074
- I'll stay!
- That's terrific.

89
00:05:07,667 --> 00:05:08,967
Jess... Jess.

90
00:05:08,978 --> 00:05:11,797
Hi! Yay, tomorrow's
your big day! Hooray!

91
00:05:11,815 --> 00:05:14,186
Listen, I'm gonna be a little bit
later than I thought I would be,

92
00:05:14,198 --> 00:05:16,339
but it's gonna be worth it,
because last night...

93
00:05:16,352 --> 00:05:17,941
Just hang on. I can't hear you.
I can't hear you.

94
00:05:17,953 --> 00:05:20,927
Guys, it's too loud
in here, okay?

95
00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:22,179
Uncle Shishir!

96
00:05:23,702 --> 00:05:26,158
He had one scene with
Salman Khan in Dabangg 2,

97
00:05:26,182 --> 00:05:28,776
and all of the sudden he thinks he's
Amitabh Bachchan in Jhoom Barabar Jhoom.

98
00:05:28,792 --> 00:05:30,061
I could just tell you later.

99
00:05:30,086 --> 00:05:33,174
I am exhausted, and I still have
to go pick up my wedding sari,

100
00:05:33,201 --> 00:05:34,745
and I still have to
get my hands henna'd.

101
00:05:34,763 --> 00:05:37,125
Okay, look, just send
everybody to their hotels.

102
00:05:37,158 --> 00:05:38,911
I'll have Winston
pick up your sari,

103
00:05:38,929 --> 00:05:42,244
and then after you're done having
your hands tattooed, take a nap.

104
00:05:42,263 --> 00:05:44,414
Now hand the phone to Shishir.

105
00:05:44,861 --> 00:05:46,989
Uncle. Jess.

106
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:50,642
Shishir, you son of a bitch.
You little son of a bitch.

107
00:05:50,666 --> 00:05:52,452
It is not your day!

108
00:05:54,787 --> 00:05:56,706
- Hey, Winston.
- What's up?

109
00:05:56,721 --> 00:05:58,806
- Anything you want to wish me?
- Look, Winston,

110
00:05:58,831 --> 00:06:02,285
I need you to pick up Cece's wedding
sari and take it to her house.

111
00:06:02,478 --> 00:06:05,278
- You want me to take it to her house?
- Yeah. Just go pick it up.

112
00:06:05,303 --> 00:06:09,017
Ah, wedding sari, for the
celebration of the wedding.

113
00:06:09,041 --> 00:06:11,310
- Yes, nothing else.
- Yeah, I don't know what you're doing,

114
00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:13,994
but just do it, okay?
Um, I have to go.

115
00:06:14,032 --> 00:06:16,101
It's happening!

116
00:06:17,329 --> 00:06:19,488
Peg, hi. Thank you so much
for the interview.

117
00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:21,788
- Sorry I'm late.
- Uh, no interview.

118
00:06:21,806 --> 00:06:23,505
You're getting right in
the soup; you're subbing.

119
00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:25,573
- I need Al to see you in action.
- What? Subbing?

120
00:06:25,591 --> 00:06:28,243
It's a really busy day; I
don't think I could sub...

121
00:06:28,358 --> 00:06:29,647
- Oh, yes you can.
- ... right now.

122
00:06:29,653 --> 00:06:31,284
- What? No.
- This is your chance.

123
00:06:31,332 --> 00:06:32,864
Oh, my...

124
00:06:34,234 --> 00:06:36,813
Ah, stop! You have to stop!

125
00:06:41,463 --> 00:06:42,967
Hey, guys.

126
00:06:42,992 --> 00:06:44,180
All right.

127
00:06:44,211 --> 00:06:45,911
Okay, listen!

128
00:06:47,527 --> 00:06:49,472
Or don't!

129
00:06:49,981 --> 00:06:52,112
But the hell if I'm
not gonna teach!

130
00:06:52,194 --> 00:06:55,146
I'm gonna bring the words
of Mark Twain alive

131
00:06:55,171 --> 00:06:59,204
with only the human voice.

132
00:06:59,334 --> 00:07:00,584
What about you?
You got a girl?

133
00:07:00,607 --> 00:07:02,370
- No. No, no, no, no, no.
- No, really?

134
00:07:02,382 --> 00:07:05,010
- No, no, no, no. No girls for me. No.
- Seriously? A good-looking guy like you?

135
00:07:05,016 --> 00:07:07,403
- It'd seem like women would just
flock to you. - No, no, it's not like that.

136
00:07:07,428 --> 00:07:10,190
- Let's talk about you and girls! I don't want
to talk about this. - ... and a young guy.

137
00:07:10,216 --> 00:07:14,685
- This isn't something we should talk about,
Bob, trust me! - Okay, gee whiz, I'm sorry.

138
00:07:14,983 --> 00:07:18,344
- Just freakin' back off.
- I'm sorry I brought it up.

139
00:07:22,211 --> 00:07:23,999
All right.

140
00:07:24,669 --> 00:07:26,136
What?

141
00:07:29,441 --> 00:07:30,959
What?

142
00:07:32,970 --> 00:07:34,762
- There's a girl. Yes.
- There is, see? I told you.

143
00:07:34,781 --> 00:07:36,562
- I knew— There's always a girl.
- There— you're right.

144
00:07:36,575 --> 00:07:38,669
- Come on, what's she like?
- She's, uh, not quirky.

145
00:07:38,687 --> 00:07:41,118
- No?
- She's got no bangs.

146
00:07:41,146 --> 00:07:43,111
- No bangs.
- Uh, tall and fat.

147
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:44,617
- Really?
- Yeah. Really ugly eyes.

148
00:07:44,629 --> 00:07:46,631
- Small, tiny little beady eyes.
- Yeah. Yeah.

149
00:07:46,648 --> 00:07:49,376
Her name is, uh,
Yolanda Winston.

150
00:07:49,506 --> 00:07:51,023
Yolanda Winston.

151
00:07:54,215 --> 00:07:57,411
Just wallpaper! I have fancy
athletic shoe wallpaper.

152
00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,409
Elizabeth, what are you
doing here?

153
00:07:59,421 --> 00:08:01,506
I got here early,
so I wanted to come up.

154
00:08:01,525 --> 00:08:03,462
That shirt is, uh...

155
00:08:03,487 --> 00:08:04,837
12 years old.

156
00:08:04,866 --> 00:08:07,614
- It's the shirt I met you in.
- Oh, yeah, I remember that.

157
00:08:07,632 --> 00:08:08,858
Y2 Kitty Kat.

158
00:08:08,883 --> 00:08:10,606
As relevant today
as it was then.

159
00:08:10,612 --> 00:08:12,575
Schmidt, do you have a moment?

160
00:08:12,624 --> 00:08:15,852
- I have unlimited moments.
- I was reviewing the numbers...

161
00:08:16,447 --> 00:08:19,606
Custodial keeps sending us
these spooky Eastern European girls.

162
00:08:19,622 --> 00:08:21,847
You want to see spooky?
Call me spooky again.

163
00:08:21,859 --> 00:08:23,558
I'll spook the ass fat
right out of your lips.

164
00:08:23,584 --> 00:08:24,740
Do you know her?

165
00:08:24,764 --> 00:08:27,108
Mm... no...

166
00:08:27,171 --> 00:08:28,997
- No?
- I...

167
00:08:29,346 --> 00:08:32,181
I feel like I'm trap...
I'm being trapped, am I not?

168
00:08:33,022 --> 00:08:35,332
Then I'll do you a favor
and set you free.

169
00:08:35,628 --> 00:08:37,499
Idiot.

170
00:08:38,016 --> 00:08:40,353
Wait, don't leave.
Elizabeth!

171
00:08:40,383 --> 00:08:42,977
- I don't know why I just did that!
- I knew you couldn't change back!

172
00:08:42,996 --> 00:08:45,317
- But why are you wearing that shirt?
- I'm not gonna let you make me feel

173
00:08:45,337 --> 00:08:47,494
bad about myself!
I love this shirt!

174
00:08:47,518 --> 00:08:49,368
Y2 Kitty Kat?

175
00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:51,143
I don't need this.

176
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:52,875
I was fine before
you showed up.

177
00:08:52,890 --> 00:08:57,231
In fact, I said no to a date
tonight to be with you!

178
00:08:57,867 --> 00:08:59,704
I'm gonna
text him "Yes."

179
00:08:59,744 --> 00:09:01,266
And guess what.

180
00:09:01,278 --> 00:09:02,997
I don't care what you think.

181
00:09:03,134 --> 00:09:04,911
See ya, Schmidt.

182
00:09:05,126 --> 00:09:08,061
Without validation, the
parking rates are absurd.

183
00:09:13,063 --> 00:09:16,401
Jamie, enough with the globes.
We get it. You're angry.

184
00:09:16,688 --> 00:09:19,873
Okay, that's lunch. Be back in an hour.

185
00:09:22,738 --> 00:09:23,970
Jess!

186
00:09:24,007 --> 00:09:25,836
- I'm Dr. Foster.
- Oh.

187
00:09:25,854 --> 00:09:31,878
Peg has gone on and on and
on and on and on about you.

188
00:09:31,896 --> 00:09:34,021
So nice to meet you. I'm just
running out for lunch...

189
00:09:34,039 --> 00:09:36,617
- Uh! No, no, need. No need.
- During the lunch that I...

190
00:09:36,629 --> 00:09:38,605
But you don't need.

191
00:09:38,630 --> 00:09:40,401
We can have lunch here.

192
00:09:40,420 --> 00:09:43,989
My secretary is bringing food.

193
00:09:44,232 --> 00:09:46,481
So we'll have a

194
00:09:46,511 --> 00:09:49,347
chitchat, tête-à-tête,

195
00:09:49,390 --> 00:09:52,090
exchange-ideas

196
00:09:52,309 --> 00:09:53,646
kind of lunch.

197
00:09:53,658 --> 00:09:57,032
To see how you'll fit in
to the Coolidge culture.

198
00:09:57,054 --> 00:09:59,798
Um, well, long story short,
I really would love this job,

199
00:09:59,810 --> 00:10:01,635
- I love teaching kids...
- Ha!

200
00:10:01,733 --> 00:10:05,527
Now, what if you weren't
referring to children...

201
00:10:05,932 --> 00:10:07,613
Oh. Uh-huh?

202
00:10:08,287 --> 00:10:10,537
- ... but to baby goats?
- Huh.

203
00:10:10,569 --> 00:10:12,578
That's an interesting question.

204
00:10:12,596 --> 00:10:13,642
Well,

205
00:10:13,666 --> 00:10:16,296
we used to have a school goat

206
00:10:16,321 --> 00:10:17,819
- named Melvin.
- Uh...

207
00:10:17,831 --> 00:10:19,658
He hanged himself,

208
00:10:19,672 --> 00:10:21,453
tragically, on the swing set.

209
00:10:22,244 --> 00:10:23,700
So...

210
00:10:23,731 --> 00:10:26,159
we bought another goat.

211
00:10:26,271 --> 00:10:29,151
Also named Melvin.

212
00:10:30,682 --> 00:10:32,235
Surprise!

213
00:10:34,990 --> 00:10:36,965
Yeah, you can come out now!

214
00:10:36,990 --> 00:10:40,165
I see some-some food over here.
Where my cake at?

215
00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:42,403
Hey, where my cake at?

216
00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:45,371
I can hear you giggling,
I can see the...

217
00:10:45,455 --> 00:10:47,905
- Where's my sari?
- Something on your face. What's that,

218
00:10:47,930 --> 00:10:51,125
- like, a wedding tattoo? - What do you
mean there's something on my face?

219
00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:58,896
Wait-wait a minute. Hold-hold on,
hold on. What are you doing?

220
00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:01,354
Lettuce, tomato, lettuce,

221
00:11:01,372 --> 00:11:03,818
meat-meat-meat-meat-meat-
meat-meat-meat-meat,

222
00:11:03,944 --> 00:11:06,319
- cheese, lettuce.
- You're a sandwich genius.

223
00:11:06,410 --> 00:11:08,891
Is there anything you don't
know everything about?

224
00:11:08,903 --> 00:11:10,010
Try me.

225
00:11:10,035 --> 00:11:13,013
All right, I will try you.
I've got a question about

226
00:11:13,083 --> 00:11:14,414
- Yolanda Winston.
- Sure.

227
00:11:14,426 --> 00:11:16,788
Well, we've only slept
together once, but,

228
00:11:16,809 --> 00:11:18,333
Bob, I don't know
what she wants.

229
00:11:18,364 --> 00:11:21,686
Well, the first thing you got to
figure out is what do you want.

230
00:11:22,085 --> 00:11:24,975
Well, I don't know how you get a
podcast, but you should look into it.

231
00:11:26,747 --> 00:11:27,547
Bob here.

232
00:11:27,576 --> 00:11:29,757
Hey, Dad, new plan.
Headed over to Cece's.

233
00:11:29,782 --> 00:11:32,448
- How's it going over there?
- Great. We're making sandwiches,

234
00:11:32,467 --> 00:11:33,873
we're talking about girls.

235
00:11:33,892 --> 00:11:35,849
Interesting. Could you hand
the phone to Nick?

236
00:11:35,868 --> 00:11:38,399
- Jess. Yeah, she wants to talk to you.
- Oh, cool. Jess!

237
00:11:38,417 --> 00:11:41,228
- What is going on over there, Nick?
- Hanging out with my boy Bobby D.

238
00:11:41,256 --> 00:11:43,938
- Bobby D! I love that!
- Talking about girls?

239
00:11:43,963 --> 00:11:45,987
That's the one thing you
should not be talking about!

240
00:11:45,997 --> 00:11:48,464
- You are freaking out about noth...
- Hey, you know what?

241
00:11:48,483 --> 00:11:50,896
I don't like what's happening here.
I am coming home.

242
00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:54,637
Just relax.
I think he really likes me.

243
00:11:54,662 --> 00:11:56,817
Oh, it's Cece.
I have to take this.

244
00:11:56,848 --> 00:11:57,907
Cece, hi.

245
00:11:59,247 --> 00:12:02,778
- What's going on?
- I fell asleep on my hand!

246
00:12:06,859 --> 00:12:08,072
Oh!

247
00:12:08,097 --> 00:12:10,491
It's not as bad as I thought.

248
00:12:11,669 --> 00:12:13,720
I'm getting married tomorrow,
and I look like Mike Tyson!

249
00:12:13,739 --> 00:12:16,461
Okay, nothing a little cotton
balls and olive oil can't fix.

250
00:12:16,473 --> 00:12:20,213
In a few minutes, we are gonna
laugh about this. We will laugh.

251
00:12:20,257 --> 00:12:21,456
Okay.

252
00:12:22,649 --> 00:12:25,150
- This is funny later.
- Okay.

253
00:12:25,203 --> 00:12:26,509
- Uh-huh.
- Oh, see?

254
00:12:26,537 --> 00:12:27,754
It's coming right off.

255
00:12:34,437 --> 00:12:35,387
Um...

256
00:12:39,561 --> 00:12:41,556
All gone?

257
00:12:44,209 --> 00:12:46,410
Burkas isn't you guys, is it?

258
00:12:48,175 --> 00:12:51,093
This girl really means
a lot to me, Bob.

259
00:12:51,189 --> 00:12:53,927
- And I just don't want to screw it up.
- Why would you screw it up?

260
00:12:53,946 --> 00:12:55,308
I don't want to make excuses,

261
00:12:55,326 --> 00:12:57,297
but my dad was kind of a...

262
00:12:57,322 --> 00:12:59,322
a piece of...

263
00:12:59,984 --> 00:13:02,659
You know, truth be told, Bob,
I'm afraid I'm a lot like him.

264
00:13:02,678 --> 00:13:05,126
The mere fact that
you just said that

265
00:13:05,152 --> 00:13:07,333
means that you're nothing
like your old man.

266
00:13:07,769 --> 00:13:10,431
Any girl would be lucky

267
00:13:10,454 --> 00:13:12,185
- to have a guy like you.
- You mean that?

268
00:13:12,191 --> 00:13:13,697
Yes, I do.

269
00:13:15,416 --> 00:13:18,580
Think I'm gonna say something
that might make you real happy.

270
00:13:19,272 --> 00:13:21,473
That little girl I was
talking about,

271
00:13:21,498 --> 00:13:23,057
Yolanda?

272
00:13:23,702 --> 00:13:25,993
Her name isn't Yolanda.

273
00:13:26,810 --> 00:13:28,379
It's Jess.

274
00:13:28,509 --> 00:13:30,434
She's your daughter.

275
00:13:31,341 --> 00:13:32,991
I'll kill you!

276
00:13:33,028 --> 00:13:35,121
You're dead! You're dead!

277
00:13:37,366 --> 00:13:40,721
Hi, you-you tattooed my friend
this morning for her wedding.

278
00:13:40,752 --> 00:13:42,859
Is there a quick way
of getting it off?

279
00:13:42,937 --> 00:13:45,018
Uh-huh. Okay!

280
00:13:46,222 --> 00:13:48,140
Um, wonderful. Thank
you so much, Dipti.

281
00:13:48,159 --> 00:13:49,892
That's awesome. Thanks.

282
00:13:49,951 --> 00:13:51,551
- It's not coming off.
- Nope, it's not.

283
00:13:51,576 --> 00:13:52,963
Absolutely not.

284
00:13:52,991 --> 00:13:54,610
Okay, look, um, Cece,

285
00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:56,374
I think maybe you
should call Shivrang.

286
00:13:56,530 --> 00:13:58,940
I don't want him to
see me like this, Jess!

287
00:13:58,952 --> 00:14:00,395
- Like, what have you done?
- What I've done?

288
00:14:00,415 --> 00:14:02,062
You're the dummy who fell
asleep on your hands!

289
00:14:02,093 --> 00:14:04,584
I'm so sorry. That shouldn't
have come out of my mouth.

290
00:14:04,603 --> 00:14:08,097
That was really uncool. I've just
had a crazy 24 hours, and...

291
00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:10,199
I slept with Nick last night.

292
00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:11,763
- You slept with Nick?
- I don't know.

293
00:14:11,776 --> 00:14:13,807
I think it might be the start of
something, like, really amazing.

294
00:14:13,819 --> 00:14:15,951
- Mm-hmm, sure. - I don't want to get my
hopes up, but it could be something.

295
00:14:15,972 --> 00:14:17,145
- Could not be something.
- Makes sense.

296
00:14:17,164 --> 00:14:19,420
- I don't know.
- I have a full beard!

297
00:14:19,460 --> 00:14:20,827
No.

298
00:14:20,898 --> 00:14:22,832
Oh, no, no.

299
00:14:22,864 --> 00:14:25,209
- I'm not scared of you, dude.
- What are you doing with that?

300
00:14:25,233 --> 00:14:27,797
Put that down;
I'm not gonna hurt you.

301
00:14:37,909 --> 00:14:38,916
Okay.

302
00:14:38,928 --> 00:14:40,424
Okay, conversation's over.

303
00:14:40,443 --> 00:14:42,854
Nick, hands up, back away.
What is this?

304
00:14:42,872 --> 00:14:45,222
- Dad, you're coming with me now.
- You want to get rid of me?

305
00:14:45,241 --> 00:14:47,727
- So you two can do it again?
- What?

306
00:14:48,056 --> 00:14:50,987
You told him? God, I knew
you would blurt it out.

307
00:14:51,012 --> 00:14:53,057
Shows how much you know;
I didn't blurt it out.

308
00:14:53,081 --> 00:14:55,480
- I told him on purpose.
- Why would you do that?

309
00:14:55,486 --> 00:14:57,749
- What is wrong with you?
- I wanted him to like me—

310
00:14:57,768 --> 00:15:00,192
in fact, I want all
fathers to like me.

311
00:15:00,211 --> 00:15:01,553
I wonder what that's about.

312
00:15:01,578 --> 00:15:03,202
W-What, do you owe
money on the rent?

313
00:15:03,220 --> 00:15:06,051
- I mean, what-what is going on here?
- Dad, I don't know what's going on.

314
00:15:06,057 --> 00:15:07,951
We haven't had a chance
to talk it out yet.

315
00:15:07,969 --> 00:15:09,407
- Well, when did this happen?
- Last night.

316
00:15:09,413 --> 00:15:10,713
- Nick!
- Why am I telling you this?

317
00:15:10,738 --> 00:15:14,460
Jess, why are you picking him?
He's a lazy, drunken cable thief.

318
00:15:14,479 --> 00:15:17,148
- Wh-What's wrong with Wilson?
- Dad, there's nothing wrong with Nick.

319
00:15:17,154 --> 00:15:19,642
- You don't even know him.
- I do know him.

320
00:15:19,698 --> 00:15:21,137
I know him.

321
00:15:21,207 --> 00:15:24,282
When I was young,
I was confused, I was lost,

322
00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:25,457
I had no plan.

323
00:15:25,488 --> 00:15:27,968
But I went ahead
and got married anyway.

324
00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:30,177
And if I had figured things out
before I got married,

325
00:15:30,195 --> 00:15:32,321
I might still be
with your mother.

326
00:15:32,490 --> 00:15:34,258
So I do know you.

327
00:15:34,766 --> 00:15:36,422
You're not your father.

328
00:15:36,508 --> 00:15:37,976
You're me.

329
00:15:39,529 --> 00:15:42,638
And I'm not good enough
for my little girl.

330
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:46,286
Yeah I got my own damn cake,

331
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,179
and you can't have none!

332
00:15:50,487 --> 00:15:53,459
- I got to... No, I really...
- Nick, wait, Nick...

333
00:15:53,801 --> 00:15:55,239
Damn it, Dad!

334
00:15:55,265 --> 00:15:57,037
You know I'm right.

335
00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:02,112
Oh, I have to go.

336
00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:04,248
I have to go back to school now.

337
00:16:09,672 --> 00:16:13,342
You sure you want to be eating so
much cake with a body like that?

338
00:16:22,596 --> 00:16:24,163
Guys?

339
00:16:24,562 --> 00:16:26,312
Guys?

340
00:16:29,629 --> 00:16:31,260
I've had a bad day!

341
00:16:32,154 --> 00:16:33,592
Sit down!

342
00:16:33,612 --> 00:16:35,543
All of you!

343
00:16:36,423 --> 00:16:38,502
What is with everyone today?

344
00:16:38,522 --> 00:16:41,315
Everything started so good.

345
00:16:42,151 --> 00:16:43,714
Boy.

346
00:16:44,006 --> 00:16:45,206
My roommate.

347
00:16:46,335 --> 00:16:48,502
It was good, I'm not gonna lie.

348
00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:49,600
It was very good.

349
00:16:49,618 --> 00:16:52,362
But I can't date my dad.

350
00:16:56,403 --> 00:16:58,041
Look...

351
00:16:58,872 --> 00:17:00,389
life's messy.

352
00:17:00,412 --> 00:17:01,480
It

353
00:17:01,505 --> 00:17:03,355
kicks you in the ass.

354
00:17:03,381 --> 00:17:06,174
That's right, I said "ass."

355
00:17:06,713 --> 00:17:08,457
But it does,
it kicks you in the ass.

356
00:17:08,488 --> 00:17:10,482
And, um...

357
00:17:11,094 --> 00:17:14,026
the messy parts are the...

358
00:17:14,704 --> 00:17:16,665
best parts.

359
00:17:24,108 --> 00:17:25,733
Thank you, Miguel.

360
00:17:25,798 --> 00:17:28,319
The gesture is very sweet.

361
00:17:28,518 --> 00:17:31,112
- These are very bad for you.
- I've got a car.

362
00:17:31,134 --> 00:17:32,854
I could take you to the movies.

363
00:17:33,542 --> 00:17:35,775
No, you don't...
You do?

364
00:17:40,146 --> 00:17:41,611
Jess called you?

365
00:17:41,650 --> 00:17:43,412
Yeah, she said you needed me.

366
00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:47,105
She also told me to watch out for the
girl who looked like Mandy Patinkin

367
00:17:47,137 --> 00:17:49,163
We can't get married like this.

368
00:17:49,175 --> 00:17:51,749
Hey, look, if this is
our biggest problem,

369
00:17:51,914 --> 00:17:53,283
I'll take it.

370
00:17:53,314 --> 00:17:54,908
I'll make a call and fix it.

371
00:18:02,186 --> 00:18:05,261
Now that your mom's dead, do you
do all the landlording yourself?

372
00:18:09,401 --> 00:18:10,818
Uh-huh.

373
00:18:16,044 --> 00:18:17,729
You want to dance?

374
00:18:19,118 --> 00:18:21,536
I'm wearing the shirt
that you got me.

375
00:18:23,413 --> 00:18:25,894
Did you think I threw it away?

376
00:18:28,859 --> 00:18:30,503
Frogetaboutit.

377
00:18:30,679 --> 00:18:33,628
- Go home, Schmidt.
- I don't want to go home, Elizabeth.

378
00:18:33,978 --> 00:18:35,722
Look, I want to be with you.

379
00:18:35,885 --> 00:18:38,344
Anl-I don't care who knows it.

380
00:18:41,043 --> 00:18:42,606
Hey, Geppetto.

381
00:18:42,801 --> 00:18:44,501
Make with the "oom pah pah."

382
00:19:14,610 --> 00:19:17,862
We have a pump that can blow
that thing up in, like,

383
00:19:18,243 --> 00:19:19,081
two seconds.

384
00:19:19,105 --> 00:19:22,381
I prefer to do this
the old-fashioned way.

385
00:19:22,621 --> 00:19:26,142
I know that's not the way things
are done around here.

386
00:19:26,323 --> 00:19:28,249
So long as I'm in town,

387
00:19:28,285 --> 00:19:31,684
I am going to sleep
between you and him.

388
00:19:31,703 --> 00:19:34,188
Dad, you don't have
to worry about me.

389
00:19:34,206 --> 00:19:36,092
I know you think
this is gonna be a mess,

390
00:19:36,110 --> 00:19:38,114
but it's my mess.

391
00:19:38,198 --> 00:19:39,868
Jess,

392
00:19:40,011 --> 00:19:41,849
I'm your father

393
00:19:42,028 --> 00:19:44,854
I'll always worry about you.

394
00:20:17,660 --> 00:20:20,868
This was the breakfast I was
gonna give you this morning.

395
00:20:27,385 --> 00:20:29,441
Hey, um...

396
00:20:30,456 --> 00:20:33,094
I hope my dad didn't
get in your head.

397
00:20:33,282 --> 00:20:34,023
No.

398
00:20:34,047 --> 00:20:35,493
Uh, no, uh...

399
00:20:35,512 --> 00:20:38,660
Oh, look who took
the romance spot.

400
00:20:38,853 --> 00:20:42,871
We were just gonna match up constellations
with the mole patterns on my back.

401
00:20:43,084 --> 00:20:45,613
Then we're gonna get drunk and
try to find people doing it.

402
00:20:45,632 --> 00:20:47,827
- Yeah.
- First come, first serve. Scram.

403
00:20:47,845 --> 00:20:50,146
Oh, is that how it is now?

404
00:20:50,205 --> 00:20:51,872
You just own the roof?

405
00:20:51,891 --> 00:20:53,834
Hey, what's everybody do...?

406
00:20:55,101 --> 00:20:56,637
You guys remembered?

407
00:20:56,661 --> 00:21:00,031
Oh, my good... This whole
time, I thought you guys forgot.

408
00:21:00,045 --> 00:21:02,119
Is that a golden telescope?

409
00:21:02,464 --> 00:21:06,117
You know how much I love
to explore space and time, man!

410
00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:08,205
- Thank you! - Happy birthday!
- I love you.

411
00:21:08,230 --> 00:21:10,855
- Happy birthday.
- Hey, happy birthday!

412
00:21:10,874 --> 00:21:13,090
It's the birthday boy.

413
00:21:13,218 --> 00:21:14,693
Come here, I'm gonna
set it up for you.

414
00:21:14,711 --> 00:21:17,149
- Why can't I have the telescope?
- But it's my telescope.

415
00:21:17,171 --> 00:21:20,089
Thought it was for me.

416
00:21:27,563 --> 00:21:29,351
- Get in, get into it, man.
- Yay, the birthday boy!

417
00:21:29,376 --> 00:21:32,901
- Get into it. - Get in there, birthday boy!
- Happy birthday, Winston.

418
00:21:36,805 --> 00:21:41,805
Sync and corrections by Norther
www.addic7ed.com