1 00:00:23,450 --> 00:00:25,918 You know how a computer is this big? 2 00:00:27,021 --> 00:00:29,956 What if a computer was... this big? 3 00:00:29,958 --> 00:00:31,991 The size of a man's hand. 4 00:00:31,993 --> 00:00:36,462 And it had a camera in it and you could take self pictures 5 00:00:36,464 --> 00:00:38,831 and it also had a phone? 6 00:00:38,833 --> 00:00:41,234 So you could store it easily... 7 00:00:41,236 --> 00:00:43,069 It's kind of a good idea. 8 00:00:43,071 --> 00:00:46,005 Draw it up by noon. Quit bossing me around. 9 00:00:46,007 --> 00:00:47,640 This makes me impatient 10 00:00:47,642 --> 00:00:50,376 and it makes me also so furious... 11 00:00:50,378 --> 00:00:53,012 I need 45 minutes away from you, 12 00:00:53,014 --> 00:00:55,081 and then we can be best friends again. 13 00:00:55,083 --> 00:00:56,883 Don't follow me out. 14 00:01:04,525 --> 00:01:06,926 So, as you guys know, Schmidt and I are business partners. 15 00:01:06,928 --> 00:01:09,829 We've been working on an idea we're very excited about. 16 00:01:09,831 --> 00:01:11,998 We e-mailed our plans to a guy in China, 17 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,366 and the prototype is here. 18 00:01:13,368 --> 00:01:15,435 And... we've got a pitch meeting set up 19 00:01:15,437 --> 00:01:17,703 with Lori Greiner. From QVC? 20 00:01:17,705 --> 00:01:19,038 That the one. - That's right. 21 00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:20,706 You know, Fawn and I were paired with her 22 00:01:20,708 --> 00:01:22,442 in a charity golf tournament. 23 00:01:22,444 --> 00:01:24,677 You know, they laughed at me for playing the ladies' tees, 24 00:01:24,679 --> 00:01:25,878 but it paid off. 25 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:27,113 She's a shark. 26 00:01:27,115 --> 00:01:29,449 Ha! A shark golfing. 27 00:01:29,451 --> 00:01:31,250 Now I'd buy that T-shirt. 28 00:01:31,252 --> 00:01:34,654 Friends, imagine yourself in this scenario. 29 00:01:35,856 --> 00:01:37,423 You're at the local gymnasia. - Oh... 30 00:01:37,425 --> 00:01:38,858 You're schvitzing up a storm. 31 00:01:38,860 --> 00:01:41,427 Suddenly, you get a text message. 32 00:01:41,429 --> 00:01:43,596 There's an emergency wedding down at the town hall. 33 00:01:43,598 --> 00:01:45,531 But what'll I wear? I mean, I'm sweating at the gym. 34 00:01:45,533 --> 00:01:47,967 Huh, I don't know what's going on. I love this. 35 00:01:47,969 --> 00:01:49,302 Ladies and gentlemen, 36 00:01:49,304 --> 00:01:51,304 may I present to you... - Game time. 37 00:01:52,206 --> 00:01:55,475 the Swuit! The Swuit! 38 00:01:56,310 --> 00:01:57,276 Ugh. 39 00:01:57,278 --> 00:01:59,212 The Swuit. The Swuit. 40 00:01:59,214 --> 00:02:01,714 It's a suit made entirely of sweat suit material. 41 00:02:01,716 --> 00:02:03,749 Well? - This is it? 42 00:02:03,751 --> 00:02:05,718 What do you guys think? This looks like garbage. It looks like garbage. 43 00:02:09,657 --> 00:02:11,257 Well, I like it. 44 00:02:11,259 --> 00:02:12,992 I mean, I like you guys. 45 00:02:12,994 --> 00:02:14,327 All right, I'm gonna go throw this out. 46 00:02:14,329 --> 00:02:15,428 No, don't throw it away! 47 00:02:15,430 --> 00:02:16,262 Why, you want to wear it? 48 00:02:16,264 --> 00:02:17,730 No. 49 00:02:17,732 --> 00:02:19,098 No, no, no, no. 50 00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:20,666 No. 51 00:02:21,903 --> 00:02:23,336 He said, "Do you want to wear it?" 52 00:02:23,338 --> 00:02:24,670 No, I just... 53 00:02:24,672 --> 00:02:26,572 I think... I was gonna put it 54 00:02:26,574 --> 00:02:28,307 in the Goodwill bin at school. 55 00:02:28,309 --> 00:02:29,976 As lining for the bottom. 56 00:02:29,978 --> 00:02:31,677 Get rid of it. It's a piece of crap. We're-we're screwed. 57 00:02:31,679 --> 00:02:33,446 Guys, you're starting a business. 58 00:02:33,448 --> 00:02:34,847 There are gonna be some setbacks. 59 00:02:34,849 --> 00:02:36,182 We don't have enough time, okay? 60 00:02:36,184 --> 00:02:37,783 I'm running out of vacation days, 61 00:02:37,785 --> 00:02:40,853 and our pitch meeting with Lori is on Friday. 62 00:02:40,855 --> 00:02:42,989 Friday? 63 00:02:42,991 --> 00:02:45,091 You never told me Friday. He never told... 64 00:02:45,093 --> 00:02:47,927 Guys... - I told you a hundred times it was on Friday. 65 00:02:47,929 --> 00:02:50,496 That sounds like it could be right, yeah. 66 00:02:50,498 --> 00:02:51,964 Could be Friday. Yeah. 67 00:02:51,966 --> 00:02:54,867 Now we need another good idea in four days. 68 00:02:54,869 --> 00:02:56,369 Ah, I can't work under pressure like this. 69 00:02:56,371 --> 00:02:57,637 You know that I get nervous. 70 00:02:57,639 --> 00:03:00,039 I am just a man. I am not a god. 71 00:03:00,041 --> 00:03:03,142 Uh, I think we're all aware of that. 72 00:03:03,144 --> 00:03:04,343 Why you talking like that? 73 00:03:04,345 --> 00:03:05,945 Like what? 74 00:03:05,947 --> 00:03:07,813 Well, we're all aware of that. 75 00:03:07,815 --> 00:03:09,115 Guys, stop fighting! 76 00:03:09,117 --> 00:03:10,583 You're upsetting Winston. 77 00:03:19,226 --> 00:03:20,526 It's so early. 78 00:03:20,528 --> 00:03:22,328 You made me swallow my night guard. 79 00:03:22,330 --> 00:03:24,397 Oh, please, it's a paperclip with gum wrapped around it. 80 00:03:24,399 --> 00:03:25,665 We're in a crunch. 81 00:03:25,667 --> 00:03:26,899 Good morning! 82 00:03:26,901 --> 00:03:28,234 Made you guys some brain food. 83 00:03:28,236 --> 00:03:29,735 Ah, thank you. 84 00:03:29,737 --> 00:03:31,170 I'm supposed to hang out with Kai later 85 00:03:31,172 --> 00:03:32,638 and do nothing. This'll help. 86 00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:34,006 No time. The pitch is on Friday. 87 00:03:34,008 --> 00:03:35,875 - I'm gonna need one good idea 88 00:03:35,877 --> 00:03:37,176 every 20 seconds. 89 00:03:37,178 --> 00:03:38,477 Ugh. 90 00:03:38,479 --> 00:03:39,912 Oh, you're gonna time me now? - Yes. 91 00:03:39,914 --> 00:03:41,113 It'll help you concentrate. 92 00:03:44,919 --> 00:03:46,519 It's too beepy-boppy. 93 00:03:46,521 --> 00:03:48,187 Well, it's brain music. 94 00:03:48,189 --> 00:03:49,889 Go. 95 00:03:49,891 --> 00:03:51,657 Look away. 96 00:03:51,659 --> 00:03:54,227 This is exciting. 97 00:03:54,229 --> 00:03:57,063 I feel like I'm in the garage at Cupertino. 98 00:03:57,065 --> 00:03:58,664 This sounds like the video in middle school 99 00:03:58,666 --> 00:04:00,032 that taught me about periods. 100 00:04:00,034 --> 00:04:01,267 And time! 101 00:04:01,269 --> 00:04:03,369 All right. 102 00:04:03,371 --> 00:04:05,738 Let's see what you got. 103 00:04:05,740 --> 00:04:09,075 "I am the Karduthian champion of... of dance." 104 00:04:10,611 --> 00:04:11,711 "Beer bread." 105 00:04:11,713 --> 00:04:13,679 Beard bread. 106 00:04:13,681 --> 00:04:15,414 Bread that is in your beard. 107 00:04:15,416 --> 00:04:17,216 That's an... that's an invention? 108 00:04:17,218 --> 00:04:19,118 Or is that just something that happens to you? 109 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:21,787 You think Hewlett had to put up with this crap 110 00:04:21,789 --> 00:04:23,789 from Packard? Again. 111 00:04:23,791 --> 00:04:25,558 Oh, now I'm Packard? Enough! 112 00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:27,793 You can't come up with a good idea being all loosey-goosey. 113 00:04:27,795 --> 00:04:29,128 Why don't you tell that to Howard Hughes, 114 00:04:29,130 --> 00:04:30,696 the inventor of the Loose Goose? 115 00:04:30,698 --> 00:04:33,032 That was the Spruce Goose, and it didn't work! 116 00:04:33,034 --> 00:04:34,467 It did work! 117 00:04:34,469 --> 00:04:36,535 It flew for over a mile at an altitude of 72 feet! 118 00:04:36,537 --> 00:04:38,137 How on Earth do you know that information 119 00:04:38,139 --> 00:04:39,939 and not know the name of it? 120 00:04:39,941 --> 00:04:42,408 I don't want to stick my nose in someone else's rose, 121 00:04:42,410 --> 00:04:43,709 but what I'm hearing 122 00:04:43,711 --> 00:04:45,811 is two very passionate partners 123 00:04:45,813 --> 00:04:47,880 with two totally different approaches. 124 00:04:51,653 --> 00:04:52,785 I'm gonna shove this bacon right in my mouth 125 00:04:52,787 --> 00:04:54,387 and savor it for life. 126 00:04:54,389 --> 00:04:56,122 That omelette was so delicious! 127 00:04:56,124 --> 00:04:57,923 You know what, you guys are saying really nice things to me, 128 00:04:57,925 --> 00:04:59,158 but you're both shouting... 129 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:00,393 Such a delicious omelette! 130 00:05:00,395 --> 00:05:01,927 The presentation's fantastic! 131 00:05:01,929 --> 00:05:02,962 One of the most delicious things I've ever had. 132 00:05:02,964 --> 00:05:03,996 You've outdone yourself. 133 00:05:03,998 --> 00:05:05,064 Definitely appreciated! 134 00:05:06,433 --> 00:05:08,267 Don't follow me. - Don't follow me! 135 00:05:08,269 --> 00:05:10,236 All they care about is who's the boss. 136 00:05:10,238 --> 00:05:12,071 Of course that's all they care about, Jess. 137 00:05:12,073 --> 00:05:13,839 It's a guy thing. It's in our DNA. 138 00:05:13,841 --> 00:05:15,308 Look, Nick's not gonna let Schmidt boss him around, 139 00:05:15,310 --> 00:05:16,842 and vice versa. 140 00:05:16,844 --> 00:05:19,011 Don't get me started on the male power dynamic. 141 00:05:19,013 --> 00:05:20,813 I will talk your ear off. 142 00:05:20,815 --> 00:05:22,348 They're being such dudes right now. 143 00:05:22,350 --> 00:05:23,683 It's, like, all about 144 00:05:23,685 --> 00:05:25,284 who's got the bigger you-know-what. 145 00:05:25,286 --> 00:05:26,819 Oh, I do know what. 146 00:05:26,821 --> 00:05:28,487 Yeah. - Yeah. 147 00:05:28,489 --> 00:05:30,089 What can we do to make them collaborate? 148 00:05:30,091 --> 00:05:32,358 You can eliminate their you-know-whats. 149 00:05:34,661 --> 00:05:36,362 That was a joke. 150 00:05:41,001 --> 00:05:43,703 You want to hang out tonight and have ninja turtle sex? 151 00:05:43,705 --> 00:05:45,104 What's ninja turtle sex? 152 00:05:45,106 --> 00:05:46,439 Sex with backpacks on. 153 00:05:46,441 --> 00:05:48,341 Oh, sex with backpacks on! 154 00:05:48,343 --> 00:05:50,109 Yes, I would love to, but I can't. 155 00:05:50,111 --> 00:05:52,712 I got to do some work, or Schmidt will put me 156 00:05:52,714 --> 00:05:54,146 in the "Think Harder" box, 157 00:05:54,148 --> 00:05:56,315 which is basically just a refrigerator box 158 00:05:56,317 --> 00:05:58,684 that he hits with a baseball bat. 159 00:05:58,686 --> 00:05:59,885 Gets me to think harder. 160 00:05:59,887 --> 00:06:01,120 Talk later? 161 00:06:01,122 --> 00:06:03,723 Yeah. - Great. 162 00:06:03,725 --> 00:06:05,458 I really hope that you enjoyed your service today, 163 00:06:05,460 --> 00:06:06,859 and please come back... 164 00:06:06,861 --> 00:06:08,561 Okay. 165 00:06:08,563 --> 00:06:10,296 Thanks a lot, big spender. 166 00:06:10,298 --> 00:06:11,731 You should probably show some clavicle. 167 00:06:11,733 --> 00:06:13,966 No. I need bigger tips. 168 00:06:13,968 --> 00:06:15,668 They're raising my college tuition, 169 00:06:15,670 --> 00:06:18,003 and if I don't come up with the money by Friday, 170 00:06:18,005 --> 00:06:19,238 I got to drop out. 171 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:20,873 So I don't know what I'm gonna do. 172 00:06:20,875 --> 00:06:22,241 Wow, Cece, look. 173 00:06:22,243 --> 00:06:23,476 I mean, we're your friends. 174 00:06:23,478 --> 00:06:24,844 If you want, I can give you money. 175 00:06:24,846 --> 00:06:26,879 You can give her money. 176 00:06:26,881 --> 00:06:28,514 I ain't giving her a damn thing... 177 00:06:28,516 --> 00:06:30,149 I think what Coach is trying to say 178 00:06:30,151 --> 00:06:31,584 is that he will also give you money. 179 00:06:31,586 --> 00:06:33,018 Look, that's very sweet, 180 00:06:33,020 --> 00:06:34,487 but the last thing I want is charity, okay? 181 00:06:34,489 --> 00:06:36,055 And don't tell Jess, because she just 182 00:06:36,057 --> 00:06:38,357 goes nuts anytime she thinks I need money. 183 00:06:38,359 --> 00:06:40,860 So I don't think I can afford to go home for my aunt's birthday. 184 00:06:40,862 --> 00:06:44,063 You need money? I'm selling my hair! 185 00:06:44,065 --> 00:06:46,599 Oh! Hi. Hello! 186 00:06:46,601 --> 00:06:47,733 You're a handsome fella. 187 00:06:47,735 --> 00:06:49,668 Can I interest you in a drink or... 188 00:06:49,670 --> 00:06:52,471 Oh, you suck! 189 00:06:53,940 --> 00:06:55,274 We got to do something. 190 00:06:55,276 --> 00:06:56,876 Winston, for the first time in my life, 191 00:06:56,878 --> 00:06:58,244 I'm not 100% broke, 192 00:06:58,246 --> 00:07:00,346 and you want me to give my money away? 193 00:07:00,348 --> 00:07:01,747 No, sir. 194 00:07:01,749 --> 00:07:03,082 She said she didn't want charity. 195 00:07:03,084 --> 00:07:04,583 I ain't giving it to her. 196 00:07:06,753 --> 00:07:09,355 Oh, crap. 197 00:07:09,357 --> 00:07:11,557 Am I stuck doing another thing with you again? 198 00:07:11,559 --> 00:07:13,426 It's a classic Winston and Coach mess-around! 199 00:07:14,529 --> 00:07:16,395 All right. But don't say that. 200 00:07:16,397 --> 00:07:17,463 What if I put your name first? 201 00:07:17,465 --> 00:07:18,397 Let me hear it. 202 00:07:18,399 --> 00:07:19,565 It's a classic 203 00:07:19,567 --> 00:07:21,033 Coach and Winston mess-around. 204 00:07:21,035 --> 00:07:23,969 Regardless, I don't like it. - Oh, okay. 205 00:07:26,106 --> 00:07:27,440 Hey, Schmidt. 206 00:07:28,942 --> 00:07:31,477 So I noticed you're having trouble working with Nick. 207 00:07:31,479 --> 00:07:33,112 Well, you know what, he's got a real head 208 00:07:33,114 --> 00:07:34,880 full of dog dirt. - Mm. 209 00:07:34,882 --> 00:07:36,549 So I noticed you're having trouble working with Schmidt. 210 00:07:36,551 --> 00:07:38,250 He's a bossy old tuna. 211 00:07:38,252 --> 00:07:40,453 Well, we both know you are the boss. 212 00:07:40,455 --> 00:07:41,987 Thank you. 213 00:07:41,989 --> 00:07:44,323 But we both know he's not the boss. - Exactly. 214 00:07:44,325 --> 00:07:45,958 Maybe you could back off a little, 215 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:48,661 since Nick's been having, you know, 216 00:07:48,663 --> 00:07:50,830 man problems. 217 00:07:50,832 --> 00:07:52,498 "Man problems"? 218 00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:53,732 Man problems. 219 00:07:53,734 --> 00:07:55,201 Huh. 220 00:07:56,670 --> 00:07:58,737 Are we talking clog or leak? 221 00:07:58,739 --> 00:08:00,306 He's got the wet Tuesdays? 222 00:08:00,308 --> 00:08:02,241 You think it's 'cause of his tight denim pants? 223 00:08:02,243 --> 00:08:06,111 Did the squirrels get to the tulip bulbs? 224 00:08:06,113 --> 00:08:07,980 Mm-hmm. 225 00:08:07,982 --> 00:08:11,417 And that's why you have to make him feel 226 00:08:11,419 --> 00:08:13,018 like he's the boss right now. 227 00:08:13,020 --> 00:08:15,187 Yeah, of course. It's the least that I could do. 228 00:08:15,189 --> 00:08:17,356 Well, I had no idea Schmidt had a cranky dank. 229 00:08:17,358 --> 00:08:19,325 So, yeah, I'll let him be the boss. 230 00:08:19,327 --> 00:08:20,926 I'm amazing. - What? 231 00:08:20,928 --> 00:08:21,861 I'm amazing. - What? 232 00:08:21,863 --> 00:08:22,962 What? - Huh? 233 00:08:22,964 --> 00:08:24,864 What? Hmm? 234 00:08:28,268 --> 00:08:30,703 Hmm, this is a bit of an unprecedented group, 235 00:08:30,705 --> 00:08:32,671 the three of us. 236 00:08:32,673 --> 00:08:34,874 This isn't a social call, young lady. 237 00:08:34,876 --> 00:08:36,609 Oh. - This is strictly business. 238 00:08:36,611 --> 00:08:37,843 Here's the deal. 239 00:08:37,845 --> 00:08:39,211 You need money for college. 240 00:08:39,213 --> 00:08:40,946 No. No, okay? 241 00:08:40,948 --> 00:08:43,516 I am not a charity case. - This isn't charity. 242 00:08:46,454 --> 00:08:48,487 Nick and Schmidt are looking for investors, 243 00:08:48,489 --> 00:08:52,491 so we thought it would be fun if we got into investing, too. 244 00:08:52,493 --> 00:08:54,527 You're smart, you're driven. 245 00:08:54,529 --> 00:08:57,463 We are confident in a very robust ROI. 246 00:08:57,465 --> 00:09:00,399 ROI means "Return On Investment." 247 00:09:00,401 --> 00:09:02,234 I know what it stands for. I've been reading a lot 248 00:09:02,236 --> 00:09:03,869 of Schmidt's investment books in the toilet. 249 00:09:03,871 --> 00:09:05,971 Life hack: the toilet paper makes for 250 00:09:05,973 --> 00:09:08,140 a very, very handy bookmark. 251 00:09:08,142 --> 00:09:10,543 Life hack: read your phone on the toilet like everybody else. 252 00:09:10,545 --> 00:09:13,078 Ooh. - The answer is gonna be no, all right? 253 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:14,747 Because when you borrow money from friends, 254 00:09:14,749 --> 00:09:16,015 things get weird... 255 00:09:16,017 --> 00:09:17,349 N-N-No, do not mistake this 256 00:09:17,351 --> 00:09:19,084 for friendship, young lady, all right? 257 00:09:19,086 --> 00:09:21,921 As far as I'm concerned, you're just a walking treasury bond. 258 00:09:21,923 --> 00:09:23,589 Within three years of graduation, 259 00:09:23,591 --> 00:09:25,190 you will pay us back in full, 260 00:09:25,192 --> 00:09:26,692 plus ten percent of the principal. 261 00:09:26,694 --> 00:09:29,562 I really don't want to do this. At all. 262 00:09:29,564 --> 00:09:31,030 But... 263 00:09:31,032 --> 00:09:32,431 There's always a "but," huh? 264 00:09:32,433 --> 00:09:34,833 But I don't really have any other choice. 265 00:09:34,835 --> 00:09:36,569 Yes! - You were right, man. 266 00:09:36,571 --> 00:09:39,071 So I guess we're in business, boys. 267 00:09:39,073 --> 00:09:40,239 Yes. 268 00:09:40,241 --> 00:09:41,840 We wrote the check out to Cece. 269 00:09:41,842 --> 00:09:43,842 We do not know your full name. 270 00:09:47,582 --> 00:09:49,882 This is... this is your vision from start to finish. 271 00:09:49,884 --> 00:09:51,450 I might be the seed, but you're the farmer. 272 00:09:51,452 --> 00:09:54,186 Hey, you two look like you're really getting along. 273 00:09:54,188 --> 00:09:56,188 Yeah, well, you know what, who wouldn't get along 274 00:09:56,190 --> 00:09:58,190 with this brave, masculine, healthy cowboy? 275 00:09:58,192 --> 00:09:59,258 What you got there? 276 00:09:59,260 --> 00:10:00,626 It's a camera attachment. 277 00:10:00,628 --> 00:10:01,860 That keeps the attention of your dog 278 00:10:01,862 --> 00:10:03,362 while you're taking its picture. 279 00:10:03,364 --> 00:10:05,064 Oh. - Schmidt came up with a great title for it. 280 00:10:05,066 --> 00:10:06,632 It's called "Perfect Pet Pic." 281 00:10:06,634 --> 00:10:08,634 This is just a prototype that dumb-old me came up with. 282 00:10:08,636 --> 00:10:11,036 If he put it together, it'd be a lot better, I promise you that. 283 00:10:11,038 --> 00:10:12,905 Now, of course, could-could you just hold some pet food 284 00:10:12,907 --> 00:10:14,206 in your other hand? Sure. 285 00:10:14,208 --> 00:10:15,474 But this is a lifestyle product. 286 00:10:15,476 --> 00:10:16,909 That's actually really impressive. 287 00:10:16,911 --> 00:10:18,777 I think Lori's gonna like that. 288 00:10:18,779 --> 00:10:21,146 You know, I had a vision of what this product would look like. 289 00:10:21,148 --> 00:10:23,616 And you carried it out and exceeded my expectations 290 00:10:23,618 --> 00:10:25,651 in a way that... I don't know. 291 00:10:25,653 --> 00:10:27,286 It-it's touching. 292 00:10:27,288 --> 00:10:30,489 Sometimes I feel like you're my arms. 293 00:10:30,491 --> 00:10:32,625 I'm really proud of the way that you're handling this. 294 00:10:32,627 --> 00:10:35,127 I'm proud of the way that you've handled this. 295 00:10:35,129 --> 00:10:37,529 What have I handled? 296 00:10:38,565 --> 00:10:40,332 Y-Your man problems. 297 00:10:40,334 --> 00:10:42,334 No, honey, you're the one with the man problems. 298 00:10:42,336 --> 00:10:44,303 I don't have the man problems. I'm being so nice to you 299 00:10:44,305 --> 00:10:46,071 because you're the one who has the man problems. 300 00:10:46,073 --> 00:10:48,007 No, no, no, sweetheart, I'm only being nice to you 'cause 301 00:10:48,009 --> 00:10:50,009 you have man problems, and I feel sorry... No, you have man problems 302 00:10:50,011 --> 00:10:52,011 and that's why I'm being nice to you right now. 303 00:10:53,814 --> 00:10:55,247 Something hangy. 304 00:10:55,249 --> 00:10:56,849 Hang...? You think I had something hanging off... 305 00:10:59,020 --> 00:11:01,487 but I... I was picturing something gooey. 306 00:11:01,489 --> 00:11:03,956 Gooey's not the worst— I've had gooey. 307 00:11:03,958 --> 00:11:05,624 Oh, good God, what? 308 00:11:05,626 --> 00:11:06,792 Simply ignore it. 309 00:11:06,794 --> 00:11:08,861 Who told you about my man problems? 310 00:11:08,863 --> 00:11:10,729 Who told you about my man...? 311 00:11:12,465 --> 00:11:14,333 Look, the only reason why I did this 312 00:11:14,335 --> 00:11:16,769 was to get you guys to stop arguing about who's the boss... 313 00:11:16,771 --> 00:11:18,370 Don't you be sorry! - Jess, you did nothing wrong! 314 00:11:18,372 --> 00:11:19,705 You're nothing but an angel! 315 00:11:19,707 --> 00:11:20,806 You tried to help us, which is a sweet move! 316 00:11:20,808 --> 00:11:22,941 You tried to help a situation... 317 00:11:24,679 --> 00:11:26,111 It's very confusing! This is his fault! 318 00:11:26,113 --> 00:11:27,346 He's been bossing me around for ten years! 319 00:11:27,348 --> 00:11:28,981 If I hadn't been bossing you around, 320 00:11:28,983 --> 00:11:30,949 you would just be a bartender with a lot of ideas 321 00:11:30,951 --> 00:11:32,317 and the ambition of a dead person. 322 00:11:32,319 --> 00:11:34,153 I will never let you boss me around again. 323 00:11:34,155 --> 00:11:37,990 Not even if the lives of 100,000 children depended on it. 324 00:11:37,992 --> 00:11:39,958 Fine, if-if... I take that part back. 325 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:41,393 If a bunch of kids' lives depended on it, 326 00:11:41,395 --> 00:11:43,162 I'd let you boss me around. - You went way too far 327 00:11:43,164 --> 00:11:44,663 in that moment. - Fine, but you understand my point. 328 00:11:44,665 --> 00:11:46,198 If there were five kids whose life 329 00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:48,300 depended on it, I wouldn... - Not even five kids. 330 00:11:50,071 --> 00:11:52,137 I understand the point you're trying to make! 331 00:11:52,139 --> 00:11:54,540 The company is dead! That's the point. 332 00:11:54,542 --> 00:11:56,208 I'm going to that pitch meeting tomorrow 333 00:11:56,210 --> 00:11:57,876 with Lori Greiner without you. 334 00:11:57,878 --> 00:12:00,379 You know why? Because a boss never breaks appointments. 335 00:12:00,381 --> 00:12:02,381 You think I was born in the middle of the afternoon? 336 00:12:02,383 --> 00:12:04,516 You're gonna go into that pitch and take all the credit? 337 00:12:04,518 --> 00:12:07,753 Fine, go to that pitch together, and then me and you, we're done. 338 00:12:09,857 --> 00:12:12,057 If you think we're gonna have a bedtime chat, you're out of your mind. 339 00:12:12,059 --> 00:12:13,425 We'll lay in beds, and we'll just over the day together 340 00:12:13,427 --> 00:12:15,027 like we usually do and that's it! - No. 341 00:12:15,029 --> 00:12:16,562 Fine, we'll do that for a little bit. That's it. 342 00:12:16,564 --> 00:12:18,030 That's it. 343 00:12:18,032 --> 00:12:19,732 Here, take it. I don't even need it anymore. 344 00:12:19,734 --> 00:12:21,600 Bedtime chat's gonna be so short, you won't believe it. 345 00:12:21,602 --> 00:12:23,235 Oh, I'll believe it. You won't believe it. 346 00:12:29,709 --> 00:12:32,611 Thought you might not show. 347 00:12:32,613 --> 00:12:35,414 I drove you here, Nicholas. 348 00:12:35,416 --> 00:12:37,049 Let's just get through this thing, 349 00:12:37,051 --> 00:12:38,751 and then we can be done with each other, okay? - Okay. 350 00:12:38,753 --> 00:12:40,352 And, by the way, stay out of my way in there. 351 00:12:40,354 --> 00:12:42,387 I'm about to blow the roof off of this thing 352 00:12:42,389 --> 00:12:44,590 with a little something I like to call the "Seven S's." 353 00:12:44,592 --> 00:12:46,125 I bet you don't have any more than four. 354 00:12:46,127 --> 00:12:47,793 Yeah? Watch me. - Go ahead. 355 00:12:47,795 --> 00:12:49,461 Strategy, sizzle, Schmidt, 356 00:12:49,463 --> 00:12:51,096 sex... - Go on. 357 00:12:51,098 --> 00:12:53,198 Stop interrupting me. I got... I got more. 358 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:55,634 Salesmanship. 359 00:12:56,369 --> 00:12:58,137 Something. 360 00:12:59,038 --> 00:13:00,405 Synergy. 361 00:13:00,407 --> 00:13:01,573 Boom. Nailed it. - Damn it. 362 00:13:01,575 --> 00:13:03,275 That's seven— how you like me now? 363 00:13:03,277 --> 00:13:05,544 All right, that's really good, but it's not gonna matter, 364 00:13:05,546 --> 00:13:08,280 'cause the only thing that matters is what I have. 365 00:13:08,282 --> 00:13:09,381 A prototype. 366 00:13:09,383 --> 00:13:11,316 So stay out of my way in there, 367 00:13:11,318 --> 00:13:12,751 and let me just show her the prototype, 368 00:13:12,753 --> 00:13:15,020 because that's all we need. 369 00:13:22,096 --> 00:13:23,762 We don't need a prototype. 370 00:13:23,764 --> 00:13:25,564 Did you forget the prototype? - No. 371 00:13:25,566 --> 00:13:26,799 Did you forget the prototype? 372 00:13:26,801 --> 00:13:28,000 No. 373 00:13:28,002 --> 00:13:29,835 Did you forget the prototype? 374 00:13:29,837 --> 00:13:31,970 Yeah. 375 00:13:31,972 --> 00:13:33,772 Where'd you leave it, Nick? 376 00:13:33,774 --> 00:13:35,507 I still believe in them though. 377 00:13:35,509 --> 00:13:37,309 Part of me thinks that even though 378 00:13:37,311 --> 00:13:38,811 they're mad at each other, they'll get in there, 379 00:13:38,813 --> 00:13:39,912 and they'll figure it out. 380 00:13:39,914 --> 00:13:41,013 I don't think that's the case. 381 00:13:41,015 --> 00:13:42,247 Why are you being so negative? 382 00:13:42,249 --> 00:13:43,248 'Cause they left their stupid thing. 383 00:13:43,250 --> 00:13:44,850 What? 384 00:13:44,852 --> 00:13:47,252 Oh, crap. 385 00:14:01,634 --> 00:14:03,302 Oh, crap. 386 00:14:03,304 --> 00:14:04,937 Nick, what is the matter with you? 387 00:14:04,939 --> 00:14:06,271 Well, I wouldn't have forgot it if you didn't bully me 388 00:14:06,273 --> 00:14:08,006 to get out of the house an hour early! 389 00:14:08,008 --> 00:14:09,641 It was too fast! I needed time! You lay on the ground...! 390 00:14:09,643 --> 00:14:10,542 You guys ready? 391 00:14:10,544 --> 00:14:11,643 Yeah. - Yes, of course. 392 00:14:11,645 --> 00:14:12,978 Absolutely. 393 00:14:12,980 --> 00:14:15,447 I'm talking about postwar. 394 00:14:15,449 --> 00:14:16,982 That's after the war. 395 00:14:16,984 --> 00:14:19,351 Prewar would be something different completely. 396 00:14:19,353 --> 00:14:23,055 I was in London postwar, post-postwar, 397 00:14:23,057 --> 00:14:25,324 in '77, and, uh... 398 00:14:25,326 --> 00:14:26,325 I caught a few shows. 399 00:14:26,327 --> 00:14:28,293 The flights were... 400 00:14:28,295 --> 00:14:31,363 Well, I think I spent two... maybe $250 to get to... 401 00:14:31,365 --> 00:14:34,066 Guess who? What are you doing here? 402 00:14:34,068 --> 00:14:35,901 I'm just checking in on my investment. 403 00:14:35,903 --> 00:14:37,536 Oh, my... Hey, check it out. 404 00:14:37,538 --> 00:14:39,338 I'm a campus cutie. 405 00:14:39,340 --> 00:14:40,906 No, you are not. What are we learning? 406 00:14:40,908 --> 00:14:42,241 Shh! 407 00:14:42,243 --> 00:14:43,842 I am studying 408 00:14:43,844 --> 00:14:45,477 Postwar British Art History. 409 00:14:45,479 --> 00:14:47,813 What? Post Br-British who? What's that? 410 00:14:47,815 --> 00:14:49,481 That's just a bunch of words that mean 411 00:14:49,483 --> 00:14:50,916 "Screw you, investors." What else you taking? 412 00:14:50,918 --> 00:14:52,718 Intro to Afrikaans. 413 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:54,586 What else? Astronomy 101? 414 00:14:54,588 --> 00:14:55,687 That's next semester. 415 00:14:55,689 --> 00:14:56,655 Wow. 416 00:14:56,657 --> 00:14:57,890 What you gonna do, Cece, 417 00:14:57,892 --> 00:14:59,258 join the South African space program 418 00:14:59,260 --> 00:15:00,692 and be the first woman 419 00:15:00,694 --> 00:15:02,761 to put a David Hockney painting on the moon? 420 00:15:02,763 --> 00:15:04,229 Who is David Hockney? 421 00:15:04,231 --> 00:15:05,764 Excuse me, can I help you? 422 00:15:05,766 --> 00:15:07,532 No, no, we're okay, sorry. Yes, can you please, um, 423 00:15:07,534 --> 00:15:09,234 tell my investment here We're okay, we're... 424 00:15:09,236 --> 00:15:12,070 that she can't make any money with art history. 425 00:15:12,072 --> 00:15:13,238 That's not true. 426 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:15,540 Last year I made almost $22,000, 427 00:15:15,542 --> 00:15:17,409 and my life is very hard. 428 00:15:17,411 --> 00:15:19,678 You see that? You should be studying to become a doctor. 429 00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:21,780 They make good money, they get respect. 430 00:15:21,782 --> 00:15:24,850 Paging Dr. Cece. 431 00:15:24,852 --> 00:15:25,918 A doctor? We wouldn't see a penny 432 00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:27,419 for at least 12 years. 433 00:15:27,421 --> 00:15:29,054 Here's what you should be focused on, okay? 434 00:15:29,056 --> 00:15:30,255 Something with a low risk, 435 00:15:30,257 --> 00:15:32,591 high reward, and that thing... 436 00:15:32,593 --> 00:15:34,059 Do not say hotel management. 437 00:15:34,061 --> 00:15:36,094 Hotel management. Oh, my gosh. 438 00:15:36,096 --> 00:15:37,529 Look, man, it is a secure living 439 00:15:37,531 --> 00:15:39,131 and it's great way to meet people. 440 00:15:39,133 --> 00:15:40,766 Do you mind... 441 00:15:40,768 --> 00:15:42,901 telling me where I might find more information 442 00:15:42,903 --> 00:15:44,970 on hotel management? 443 00:15:46,239 --> 00:15:49,708 Uh, the dog, uh... the dog... 444 00:15:49,710 --> 00:15:51,743 You put the food in the thing. 445 00:15:51,745 --> 00:15:53,412 Uh, and then the dog sees it, 446 00:15:53,414 --> 00:15:55,580 and, uh, the food's dangle-dang... 447 00:15:55,582 --> 00:15:57,316 uh, it's dangling. 448 00:15:57,318 --> 00:16:00,953 To, uh, do-do-do... 449 00:16:00,955 --> 00:16:02,220 Dog... 450 00:16:02,222 --> 00:16:03,722 Looks at dang-dang. 451 00:16:03,724 --> 00:16:06,224 Tail wag-wag, uh, rev... 452 00:16:06,226 --> 00:16:08,727 dog wagging the ta... 453 00:16:08,729 --> 00:16:10,629 Um, whatever dog's name is. 454 00:16:10,631 --> 00:16:11,830 Dog's name is Claire. 455 00:16:11,832 --> 00:16:12,965 Claire come in. 456 00:16:12,967 --> 00:16:14,232 Who-who's Claire? - Shh. 457 00:16:14,234 --> 00:16:16,601 Uh, Claire sees dog food. 458 00:16:16,603 --> 00:16:18,737 Pic, Facebook, like, like, like... 459 00:16:18,739 --> 00:16:20,339 Sizzle... - Pet Pic... 460 00:16:20,341 --> 00:16:23,075 strategy, sex, something. Strategy, sex, something. 461 00:16:23,077 --> 00:16:24,743 S-Something. - Something. 462 00:16:24,745 --> 00:16:27,479 This is the worst pitch I have ever seen. 463 00:16:27,481 --> 00:16:31,249 Sorry. Sorry to interrupt. 464 00:16:31,251 --> 00:16:33,452 Gentlemen, your prototype. 465 00:16:33,454 --> 00:16:35,220 Wait, what are you wearing? 466 00:16:36,189 --> 00:16:37,856 This? 467 00:16:37,858 --> 00:16:39,858 This is the Swuit! 468 00:16:39,860 --> 00:16:40,993 It's a suit 469 00:16:40,995 --> 00:16:42,194 made entirely 470 00:16:42,196 --> 00:16:44,997 of sweat suit material. 471 00:16:44,999 --> 00:16:47,132 It was invented by Nick and Schmidt, 472 00:16:47,134 --> 00:16:49,701 and like them, it's the perfect combination. 473 00:16:49,703 --> 00:16:51,470 That one over there, 474 00:16:51,472 --> 00:16:53,438 he's all creativity and ideas. 475 00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:54,706 Thoughts and notions. 476 00:16:54,708 --> 00:16:57,009 And this one's all data and numbers. 477 00:16:57,011 --> 00:16:58,543 Six. 478 00:16:58,545 --> 00:17:00,312 He can just keep going. 479 00:17:00,314 --> 00:17:03,048 The Swuit goes from day to night and night to play. 480 00:17:03,050 --> 00:17:05,617 Take my friend Nick here for example. 481 00:17:05,619 --> 00:17:08,353 I mean, this is a man who would wear sweatpants to his wedding. 482 00:17:08,355 --> 00:17:11,323 I now pronounce me comfortable. 483 00:17:11,325 --> 00:17:12,991 Look, Lori, you get it. Look, Lori, you get it. 484 00:17:12,993 --> 00:17:14,393 Lori, you get it. Do it together. 485 00:17:14,395 --> 00:17:19,598 No one doesn't love the Swuit. 486 00:17:20,666 --> 00:17:22,667 Don't settle for substitutes. 487 00:17:22,669 --> 00:17:24,970 Swettle for swub-si-swuits. 488 00:17:26,406 --> 00:17:27,906 No? 489 00:17:27,908 --> 00:17:30,409 I've got to stop drinking on the golf course. 490 00:17:34,213 --> 00:17:35,914 To the Swuit! The Swuit! 491 00:17:35,916 --> 00:17:37,315 Hey, how'd it go? 492 00:17:37,317 --> 00:17:39,551 She like the Perfect Pet Pic? Even better. 493 00:17:39,553 --> 00:17:41,219 She hated the Swuit. 494 00:17:41,221 --> 00:17:43,188 Yeah, she's got a similar product on QVC 495 00:17:43,190 --> 00:17:44,723 called the Scruit. 496 00:17:44,725 --> 00:17:46,825 It's a suit made of scrubs. 497 00:17:46,827 --> 00:17:48,727 It was developed for prison weddings. 498 00:17:48,729 --> 00:17:50,729 Yeah, paid us $10,000 to kill the Swuit. 499 00:17:50,731 --> 00:17:52,364 Yeah! Yeah! 500 00:17:52,366 --> 00:17:55,267 So, Nick, are you finally free to do nothing? 501 00:17:55,269 --> 00:17:56,535 Not so fast there, lady. 502 00:17:56,537 --> 00:17:57,836 Uh, old Schmidty-bangs and I 503 00:17:57,838 --> 00:18:00,772 have to get working on our next idea. 504 00:18:02,041 --> 00:18:05,410 That is, if you'll still have me, buddy. 505 00:18:05,412 --> 00:18:06,945 Come on, man. 506 00:18:06,947 --> 00:18:09,347 Of course I'll have you. 507 00:18:12,618 --> 00:18:14,019 Look at me. 508 00:18:14,021 --> 00:18:15,921 Look at me. 509 00:18:15,923 --> 00:18:17,289 I was looking at you the whole time. Don't say anything. 510 00:18:17,291 --> 00:18:18,623 When I say that, just let me say that 511 00:18:18,625 --> 00:18:19,925 and take a moment where you're like, 512 00:18:19,927 --> 00:18:21,860 "Wow, he's about to say something." 513 00:18:21,862 --> 00:18:23,562 You kept... you kept saying it as if I wasn't looking at you. 514 00:18:23,564 --> 00:18:24,596 But what I'm clearly doing 515 00:18:24,598 --> 00:18:26,198 is saying, "Look at me." 516 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,400 And what you're supposed to do is be like, "Ah." 517 00:18:28,402 --> 00:18:29,868 And then I'm gonna say something. 518 00:18:29,870 --> 00:18:31,369 Ah. - Look at... 519 00:18:31,371 --> 00:18:33,238 L-Let me say it first. 520 00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:35,607 All right, guess what? Gone. 521 00:18:35,609 --> 00:18:37,142 Now. - We back? 522 00:18:37,144 --> 00:18:38,777 Of course, man. 523 00:18:38,779 --> 00:18:40,445 Come here. Ah, come on. 524 00:18:40,447 --> 00:18:42,614 Come on. Come on, come here. 525 00:18:43,616 --> 00:18:45,117 Come on. 526 00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:46,618 Come here. Come here. 527 00:18:46,620 --> 00:18:48,086 Just meet in the middle. Dynamic duo. 528 00:18:48,088 --> 00:18:50,455 Dynamic duo. Batman and Robin. 529 00:18:50,457 --> 00:18:52,991 Yeah, I'm Batman. I'm Batman, for sure. 530 00:18:52,993 --> 00:18:54,659 You guys just made ten grand. 531 00:18:54,661 --> 00:18:56,795 What are we doing drinking booze that you didn't buy? 532 00:18:56,797 --> 00:18:58,096 Let's go. - Yeah! 533 00:18:58,098 --> 00:18:59,998 Let's do it, all right! Yeah! 534 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,634 Hey, can we talk for a minute? 535 00:19:02,636 --> 00:19:05,203 Yeah, sure. 536 00:19:10,244 --> 00:19:13,044 Wow, that is some serious shade. 537 00:19:13,946 --> 00:19:15,113 I guess we deserve that. 538 00:19:15,115 --> 00:19:16,915 Yep. - Cece, look, 539 00:19:16,917 --> 00:19:18,450 I know I got carried away with the whole investing thing. 540 00:19:18,452 --> 00:19:19,484 So... 541 00:19:19,486 --> 00:19:21,153 I'm sorry. 542 00:19:21,155 --> 00:19:22,521 Ooh, an Afrikaans dictionary. 543 00:19:22,523 --> 00:19:24,089 Yeah, it was not easy to find. 544 00:19:24,091 --> 00:19:27,125 Read the inside cover. 545 00:19:27,127 --> 00:19:29,761 "Whatever drawings you talk about, 546 00:19:29,763 --> 00:19:32,030 "always shoot for the stars. 547 00:19:32,032 --> 00:19:34,266 Winston and Coach." 548 00:19:34,268 --> 00:19:35,800 It's very sweet, guys. Thank you. 549 00:19:35,802 --> 00:19:37,002 That makes zero sense. 550 00:19:37,004 --> 00:19:38,336 I know, it makes no sense. 551 00:19:38,338 --> 00:19:39,538 Hey! 552 00:19:39,540 --> 00:19:41,039 Huzzah! 553 00:19:42,008 --> 00:19:43,041 Nick Miller, 554 00:19:43,043 --> 00:19:44,609 friend, businessman. 555 00:19:44,611 --> 00:19:46,845 This one's for you. 556 00:19:56,489 --> 00:19:57,822 What is she doing now? 557 00:19:57,824 --> 00:19:59,424 I think she's making herself some tea. 558 00:20:01,227 --> 00:20:03,495 Hey. - Hey. 559 00:20:03,497 --> 00:20:05,230 What's up? Are you okay? 560 00:20:07,233 --> 00:20:09,134 Kai broke up with me. No. 561 00:20:09,136 --> 00:20:10,702 I'm sorry, dude. 562 00:20:10,704 --> 00:20:12,837 I'm sorry. What happened? She said she wants to be 563 00:20:12,839 --> 00:20:15,173 with somebody who can just sit on the couch all day. 564 00:20:15,175 --> 00:20:18,510 She said I'm too ambitious; she said I work too hard. 565 00:20:21,547 --> 00:20:23,481 Nah, it was the... It's not funny. 566 00:20:23,483 --> 00:20:25,884 It's just that when you said that out loud, it made me laugh. 567 00:20:25,886 --> 00:20:27,886 I'm really sorry about Kai. 568 00:20:27,888 --> 00:20:30,422 She seemed like a great girl, but on the bright side, 569 00:20:30,424 --> 00:20:32,691 in all your years on this planet, 570 00:20:32,693 --> 00:20:34,826 has anyone ever dumped you for working too hard? 571 00:20:34,828 --> 00:20:36,394 No. 572 00:20:36,396 --> 00:20:37,996 No, it's mostly 'cause I'm either 573 00:20:37,998 --> 00:20:39,831 too poor or too sticky. 574 00:20:39,833 --> 00:20:41,199 So this is a big day then. 575 00:20:41,201 --> 00:20:42,767 For the first time in my life, 576 00:20:42,769 --> 00:20:44,202 I really want to do something with this, you know? 577 00:20:44,204 --> 00:20:46,204 I really want to make this business work. 578 00:20:46,206 --> 00:20:49,741 Schmidt, tomorrow, let's start bright and early, 7:00 a.m. 579 00:20:49,743 --> 00:20:51,343 No, no, no, Nick, I want to do it your way. 580 00:20:51,345 --> 00:20:52,410 Let's wake up at 12:00 noon. 581 00:20:52,412 --> 00:20:54,212 Just said your way. 582 00:20:54,214 --> 00:20:56,915 Hey, guys, how about 9:30? Now that's a genius right there. 583 00:20:56,917 --> 00:20:58,617 9:30, let's say 9:30. Let's meet in the middle. 584 00:20:58,619 --> 00:21:00,185 What's that book? 585 00:21:00,187 --> 00:21:01,686 Oh, nothing, it's not even a... General artifact. 586 00:21:01,688 --> 00:21:04,456 They're giving out books at the bar now for kids. 587 00:21:04,458 --> 00:21:06,558 What is it, seriously? It's mine. 588 00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:08,193 Winston and Coach gave it to me. 589 00:21:08,195 --> 00:21:11,696 They're helping me with money for my tuition. 590 00:21:11,698 --> 00:21:13,365 You need money? No, it's gonna be fine. Jess... 591 00:21:13,367 --> 00:21:14,733 Oh, my God, I'm selling my car. 592 00:21:14,735 --> 00:21:16,401 No, Jess, no, look, it's gonna be... 593 00:21:16,403 --> 00:21:18,136 It's gonna be fine, okay? 594 00:21:18,138 --> 00:21:21,473 I guess we have to listen to this whole song. 595 00:21:22,976 --> 00:21:24,376 Not a fan. 596 00:21:24,378 --> 00:21:26,111 Kill me, please. 597 00:21:26,113 --> 00:21:28,813 The worst. 598 00:21:44,298 --> 00:21:46,331 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 599 00:21:46,333 --> 00:21:48,133 Hey, guys, we're in a bar. We're not in the loft! 600 00:21:48,135 --> 00:21:49,567 You're right, you're right, calm down.