1
00:00:17,312 --> 00:00:19,679
Okay, Schmidt, you ready for
your feedback for the week?

2
00:00:19,681 --> 00:00:21,547
Yes. Uh, let me just pull up
my performance grid.

3
00:00:21,549 --> 00:00:23,483
First off, thanks for
keeping sex quick.

4
00:00:23,485 --> 00:00:25,518
You were like a dog
with an ice cream cone,

5
00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:27,053
and I loved it,
but screaming

6
00:00:27,055 --> 00:00:29,956
"that's how Schmidty do"
was not ideal.

7
00:00:29,958 --> 00:00:32,625
Even though that's how
Sch-Schmidty did?

8
00:00:32,627 --> 00:00:34,460
Well, Schmidty did,
and he did it good,

9
00:00:34,462 --> 00:00:35,862
but mommy doesn't
want to hear

10
00:00:35,864 --> 00:00:37,530
how Schmidty's doing.
Note... note taken.

11
00:00:37,532 --> 00:00:39,232
Okay. Great. Good.
Note taken.

12
00:00:39,234 --> 00:00:43,403
I feel like I'm watching a porn
set in an HR department.

13
00:00:43,405 --> 00:00:45,905
You know, Fawn is teaching me
how to be the most effective

14
00:00:45,907 --> 00:00:47,807
and successful man
and lover I possibly can be.

15
00:00:47,809 --> 00:00:49,642
Really?
I thought you were fine before.

16
00:00:49,644 --> 00:00:51,077
When you two were
together? Which time?

17
00:00:51,079 --> 00:00:52,745
The... the first time
or the third time?

18
00:00:52,747 --> 00:00:53,713
Because... 'cause you two

19
00:00:53,715 --> 00:00:55,048
were very off-and-on.

20
00:00:55,050 --> 00:00:57,583
In a... in a very
confusing way.

21
00:00:57,585 --> 00:01:00,887
I've had sex
with him so many times.

22
00:01:00,889 --> 00:01:02,688
We have a fun thing
together, don't we?

23
00:01:02,690 --> 00:01:04,590
Super fun, yeah.
I really enjoy it.

24
00:01:04,592 --> 00:01:06,492
What is her...
what is it, Cecil?

25
00:01:06,494 --> 00:01:07,760
What is your name?

26
00:01:07,762 --> 00:01:09,395
You'll learn it.
Don't worry.

27
00:01:09,397 --> 00:01:11,097
Fawn's helping me see
that I haven't reached

28
00:01:11,099 --> 00:01:13,032
my full potential yet.
Well, obviously,
none of you have.

29
00:01:13,034 --> 00:01:14,500
No, I have. I'm a cop.

30
00:01:14,502 --> 00:01:17,203
And, as of yesterday,
my mom no longer buys

31
00:01:17,205 --> 00:01:19,338
my plane tickets, so...

32
00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:21,107
You need a ten-year plan.

33
00:01:21,109 --> 00:01:23,209
Are you in a relationship
that's headed towards marriage?

34
00:01:23,211 --> 00:01:25,511
I am not currently,
but I did go on a date

35
00:01:25,513 --> 00:01:27,180
with somebody
named Charles last month.

36
00:01:27,182 --> 00:01:30,016
She was a woman, but she was
named after her uncle.

37
00:01:30,018 --> 00:01:31,250
Well, Winston has no game.

38
00:01:31,252 --> 00:01:33,052
Dude took a girl
to a cement plant.

39
00:01:33,054 --> 00:01:34,754
To see how rocks were made.

40
00:01:34,756 --> 00:01:36,255
That's not where rocks are made.

41
00:01:36,257 --> 00:01:38,558
And she loved it,
then she abruptly moved away.

42
00:01:40,395 --> 00:01:43,262
Work sucked, my friends.

43
00:01:43,264 --> 00:01:46,265
Hear ye, hear ye.

44
00:01:48,303 --> 00:01:50,069
Milady.

45
00:01:50,071 --> 00:01:54,240
I dub you Sir Winston
of the Roll of Egg.

46
00:01:54,242 --> 00:01:56,242
Ah, yes. Yes.

47
00:01:56,244 --> 00:01:58,478
Who are you in this story?

48
00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:00,613
I'm the jester.

49
00:02:00,615 --> 00:02:03,449
I'm not gonna
eat here anymore.

50
00:02:10,725 --> 00:02:12,425
You'd think that
the school board would want

51
00:02:12,427 --> 00:02:13,826
to give kids computers,
but no,

52
00:02:13,828 --> 00:02:15,561
they just want to get reelected

53
00:02:15,563 --> 00:02:18,264
so they can keep dressing
like Realtors from the 1980s.

54
00:02:18,266 --> 00:02:20,099
Solid municipal burn, Jessica.

55
00:02:20,101 --> 00:02:21,267
Fawn...
Councilwoman.

56
00:02:21,269 --> 00:02:23,169
Councilwoman— do you think

57
00:02:23,171 --> 00:02:25,638
you could help me get
some traction with these people?

58
00:02:25,640 --> 00:02:27,773
Oh, funnily enough, I have
a charity event tomorrow

59
00:02:27,775 --> 00:02:29,575
with other high-powered
L.A. women.

60
00:02:29,577 --> 00:02:32,145
I'll put a word in with Yowtz.
Martha Yowtz?

61
00:02:32,147 --> 00:02:34,147
Yeah.
The lioness of
Los Angeles education?

62
00:02:34,149 --> 00:02:36,949
Yes.
The straw that stirs
the school board's drink?

63
00:02:36,951 --> 00:02:39,085
That's right.
That is a woman
I'd like to get to know.

64
00:02:39,087 --> 00:02:40,953
Is there any way I could come
with you to this event?

65
00:02:40,955 --> 00:02:44,123
Ah, you know, it's really
a networking thing.

66
00:02:44,125 --> 00:02:45,958
Well, that's perfect,
'cause I'd love to network her.

67
00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:47,627
With her. It's "with..."
You network with her.

68
00:02:47,629 --> 00:02:48,861
Yeah, it's
"network with her,"

69
00:02:48,863 --> 00:02:50,129
and you don't
really strike me

70
00:02:50,131 --> 00:02:51,597
as the "networking" type.

71
00:02:51,599 --> 00:02:53,466
You're more of a "follow
a butterfly around

72
00:02:53,468 --> 00:02:55,201
for a day" kind of gal.

73
00:02:55,203 --> 00:02:58,137
Oh, sister, I'm a middle-school
vice principal.

74
00:02:58,139 --> 00:03:01,174
You think I got this job
without knowing how to network?

75
00:03:01,176 --> 00:03:02,375
Most likely. Yes.

76
00:03:02,377 --> 00:03:04,110
I got an office
with a door, bub.

77
00:03:04,112 --> 00:03:05,945
Pencil me in.
I'll yak with Yowtz.

78
00:03:05,947 --> 00:03:07,480
The press will be there,

79
00:03:07,482 --> 00:03:10,816
and I could use a photo with
an educator, so... okay.

80
00:03:10,818 --> 00:03:12,185
Oh, great.
Oh. Hey.

81
00:03:12,187 --> 00:03:14,220
Do you still need me
for the photo op?

82
00:03:14,222 --> 00:03:15,988
I will need you
there, actually.

83
00:03:15,990 --> 00:03:18,691
I'm trying to become more
accessible on social media.

84
00:03:18,693 --> 00:03:21,561
Speaking of which, is
there some way you can

85
00:03:21,563 --> 00:03:24,697
make your skin look
less white in photos?

86
00:03:24,699 --> 00:03:27,133
People are saying that
you're haunting me.

87
00:03:27,135 --> 00:03:28,534
I can do that.
Absolutely. 100%.

88
00:03:28,536 --> 00:03:30,169
Let me just make a note.
Wonderful.

89
00:03:30,171 --> 00:03:32,505
And, Jess, the event tomorrow
is at a golf course.

90
00:03:32,507 --> 00:03:33,873
Do you golf?

91
00:03:33,875 --> 00:03:37,176
Does a bear eat with his hands?

92
00:03:37,178 --> 00:03:38,411
I don't know.

93
00:03:42,317 --> 00:03:44,917
I'll be there.
Great.

94
00:03:44,919 --> 00:03:49,222
So I say to her, "Water?
I barely even know you."

95
00:03:49,224 --> 00:03:51,724
Stop talking to me like we're
in the middle of a conversation.

96
00:03:51,726 --> 00:03:53,326
We just sat down.
All right.

97
00:03:53,328 --> 00:03:55,361
I hate when you do that.
Okay.

98
00:03:55,363 --> 00:03:56,762
Winston.

99
00:03:56,764 --> 00:03:59,999
That is a beautiful
girl right there. Wow.

100
00:04:00,001 --> 00:04:01,901
Just say something to her.
Yeah, just say something to her.

101
00:04:01,903 --> 00:04:03,269
Shawty, what that thang do?

102
00:04:03,271 --> 00:04:05,004
No.

103
00:04:05,006 --> 00:04:06,839
What was that?
Dude, I think it's

104
00:04:06,841 --> 00:04:08,874
a nervous tic that stems from
my lack of self-confidence.

105
00:04:08,876 --> 00:04:10,776
We got to help.
I can't watch this.

106
00:04:10,778 --> 00:04:13,079
Excuse me, miss? Hi.

107
00:04:13,081 --> 00:04:15,214
Coach, stop.
Um, this is my
buddy, Winston.

108
00:04:15,216 --> 00:04:18,284
Um... I don't know what
he's doing with his mouth.

109
00:04:18,286 --> 00:04:20,086
That's not his
normal smile at all.

110
00:04:20,088 --> 00:04:22,755
I'm gonna fix that.
If I could just...

111
00:04:22,757 --> 00:04:24,190
Both sides— even it out.

112
00:04:24,192 --> 00:04:25,691
Better.

113
00:04:25,693 --> 00:04:27,793
I think he likes you.
Oh, yeah?

114
00:04:27,795 --> 00:04:29,595
Just go talk to her. You got it.
I don't...

115
00:04:29,597 --> 00:04:31,931
Okay, okay, I'm going.
You got it. You got it.
He's coming.

116
00:04:31,933 --> 00:04:33,232
He's excited to talk to you.
Hey... My friends.

117
00:04:36,537 --> 00:04:38,537
Hello.

118
00:04:38,539 --> 00:04:40,072
I'm Winston Bishop.

119
00:04:40,074 --> 00:04:42,541
Winston Bishop. KC.

120
00:04:42,543 --> 00:04:45,911
KC! Just be like,
"Yo, KC, where JoJo at?"

121
00:04:46,881 --> 00:04:48,281
In rehab, probably.

122
00:04:48,283 --> 00:04:50,583
He's... he was on drugs.
Yeah.

123
00:04:50,585 --> 00:04:52,285
Sorry. Um...

124
00:04:52,287 --> 00:04:54,387
I don't know what
to say right now.

125
00:04:54,389 --> 00:04:56,222
Uh, kind of
blowing this, huh?

126
00:04:56,224 --> 00:04:58,924
Uh...

127
00:04:58,926 --> 00:05:01,260
Um, I think you're
very beautiful, KC,

128
00:05:01,262 --> 00:05:04,597
and I would like to
see you again soon...

129
00:05:04,599 --> 00:05:08,067
like, later today for lunch?

130
00:05:08,069 --> 00:05:10,136
I'd love to.

131
00:05:10,138 --> 00:05:12,004
Really?

132
00:05:12,006 --> 00:05:13,339
Here.
Oh.

133
00:05:13,341 --> 00:05:15,007
I'm gonna put in my number...

134
00:05:15,009 --> 00:05:18,644
or come with me to this thing
in the park I'm going to now

135
00:05:18,646 --> 00:05:20,079
and we can grab something after.

136
00:05:20,081 --> 00:05:22,248
You know, I saw Nick Nolte
in the park once.

137
00:05:22,250 --> 00:05:24,850
And I was like, "Yo, Nick Nolte,
what you doing in the park?"

138
00:05:24,852 --> 00:05:26,919
And he was just like,
"I'm just hanging out."

139
00:05:26,921 --> 00:05:29,689
Yeah, so I thought
that was notable.

140
00:05:29,691 --> 00:05:32,692
I'm going to a rally
to protest the police.

141
00:05:32,694 --> 00:05:34,827
Do you want to come?

142
00:05:34,829 --> 00:05:36,362
Or we could just do lunch.

143
00:05:36,364 --> 00:05:38,197
Let's do lunch.
Okay.

144
00:05:38,199 --> 00:05:40,533
Yeah. Nice to...
nice to meet you, KC.

145
00:05:47,508 --> 00:05:48,941
Fawn is none of my business,

146
00:05:48,943 --> 00:05:50,643
and Schmidt seems
to really like her,

147
00:05:50,645 --> 00:05:52,311
so whatever happens,
I'm just not getting involved.

148
00:05:52,313 --> 00:05:54,847
Then why are you on your way
to hang out with him?

149
00:05:54,849 --> 00:05:56,615
What are you doing?
He said to come over.

150
00:05:56,617 --> 00:05:58,617
He said it was an emergency.

151
00:05:58,619 --> 00:06:00,319
What if he does something sexy?

152
00:06:00,321 --> 00:06:01,387
That's like Gollum

153
00:06:01,389 --> 00:06:02,722
hanging out with the One Ring.

154
00:06:02,724 --> 00:06:04,090
It'll be fine.

155
00:06:05,226 --> 00:06:06,959
Ooh. Hey, Cece,
I'm glad you're here.

156
00:06:06,961 --> 00:06:09,128
I need you to put bronzer
all over my body.

157
00:06:09,130 --> 00:06:12,064
None of the guys are here,
and they also refused to do it.

158
00:06:12,066 --> 00:06:14,533
Um, all over.
I know you're giving me a look,

159
00:06:14,535 --> 00:06:15,901
but, really, like, all over.

160
00:06:15,903 --> 00:06:17,236
All the cracks,
the crevices.

161
00:06:17,238 --> 00:06:19,338
The engine, the caboose,
everything.

162
00:06:19,340 --> 00:06:21,607
Oh, okay.

163
00:06:27,882 --> 00:06:29,582
Gripped it and ripped it.

164
00:06:29,584 --> 00:06:30,883
You da man.

165
00:06:30,885 --> 00:06:32,585
No, say, "Fawn's the man."

166
00:06:32,587 --> 00:06:34,186
Fawn's the man.
Fawn's the man.

167
00:06:34,188 --> 00:06:35,888
Oh, hey, there's Yowtz.

168
00:06:35,890 --> 00:06:37,656
Woman's got more connections
than a flight

169
00:06:37,658 --> 00:06:39,024
from Burbank to Sri Lanka.

170
00:06:39,026 --> 00:06:40,393
Well, then, it's
a good thing

171
00:06:40,395 --> 00:06:41,827
I bought the
airport neck pillow

172
00:06:41,829 --> 00:06:44,063
in the gift shop,
because...

173
00:06:44,065 --> 00:06:45,664
You know what that means.

174
00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:47,533
I got this.
Okay.

175
00:06:47,535 --> 00:06:49,168
How the hell are you?

176
00:06:49,170 --> 00:06:50,503
Jessica Day.

177
00:06:50,505 --> 00:06:52,171
I need 20 computers
for my school.

178
00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:54,507
Just met you,
but noted.

179
00:06:54,509 --> 00:06:56,175
You're up.

180
00:06:56,177 --> 00:06:58,944
Thanks.

181
00:06:58,946 --> 00:07:00,446
What? Oh.

182
00:07:00,448 --> 00:07:02,348
You walk towards the...

183
00:07:09,924 --> 00:07:11,357
Whoops.

184
00:07:11,359 --> 00:07:13,125
Oh, dear Lord.

185
00:07:16,264 --> 00:07:17,730
Why are we putting
this on your body?

186
00:07:17,732 --> 00:07:19,365
Aren't you gonna be
wearing a shirt?

187
00:07:19,367 --> 00:07:20,566
Well, you know,
Fawn wants me

188
00:07:20,568 --> 00:07:21,801
to be prepared
for all scenarios.

189
00:07:21,803 --> 00:07:23,135
What if somebody
gives birth out there

190
00:07:23,137 --> 00:07:24,603
and I have to swaddle
the baby in my polo?

191
00:07:24,605 --> 00:07:26,305
Yeah.

192
00:07:26,307 --> 00:07:28,307
I've never been under
this kind of scrutiny before.

193
00:07:28,309 --> 00:07:30,142
I'm having my teeth
shaved by

194
00:07:30,144 --> 00:07:31,777
a 25th of an inch.

195
00:07:31,779 --> 00:07:34,213
Fawn thinks that I have
the teeth of an immigrant.

196
00:07:34,215 --> 00:07:35,481
She says every time
she looks at me,

197
00:07:35,483 --> 00:07:37,283
all she can see is
Fievel Mouskewitz

198
00:07:37,285 --> 00:07:40,085
singing "There Are No Cats
in America."

199
00:07:40,087 --> 00:07:41,654
Those little...

200
00:07:41,656 --> 00:07:43,556
those little mice Jews.

201
00:07:44,492 --> 00:07:45,758
I mean, what do you think, Cece?

202
00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:47,159
You... you like Fawn, right?

203
00:07:47,161 --> 00:07:49,862
Yeah, I mean,
as-as long as you're happy.

204
00:07:51,799 --> 00:07:53,132
There you go.
What the hell?

205
00:07:53,134 --> 00:07:54,266
What?

206
00:07:54,268 --> 00:07:56,735
Why am I sparkly?

207
00:07:56,737 --> 00:07:57,903
Sparkly?

208
00:07:59,507 --> 00:08:01,240
You bought the bronzer
with glitter in it.

209
00:08:01,242 --> 00:08:02,441
Cece, please,
you gotta help me, Ce...

210
00:08:02,443 --> 00:08:04,009
Fawn's gonna kill me!

211
00:08:04,011 --> 00:08:05,744
Okay, just don't get
too expressive. You'll crease!

212
00:08:05,746 --> 00:08:07,580
So stupid! I feel like
I'm trying to get into

213
00:08:07,582 --> 00:08:09,148
an 18-and-under club
in Tucson!

214
00:08:09,150 --> 00:08:10,783
So, yeah, at the rally,
there was this kid

215
00:08:10,785 --> 00:08:11,851
I know from the
youth center

216
00:08:11,853 --> 00:08:12,952
who was arrested last week

217
00:08:12,954 --> 00:08:14,653
because he "fit a description."

218
00:08:14,655 --> 00:08:17,790
I mean, he's 14— he doesn't
even fit into his jeans.

219
00:08:18,826 --> 00:08:20,493
Yeah.
Anyways...

220
00:08:20,495 --> 00:08:22,962
enough about me. Let's,
uh, talk about you.

221
00:08:22,964 --> 00:08:24,597
What do you do?

222
00:08:24,599 --> 00:08:25,831
What do I do?

223
00:08:25,833 --> 00:08:26,966
Um... okay.

224
00:08:26,968 --> 00:08:29,268
Well... what do I do?

225
00:08:29,270 --> 00:08:30,603
Um...

226
00:08:30,605 --> 00:08:31,971
Okay, the truth is...

227
00:08:31,973 --> 00:08:33,806
Hey, man.

228
00:08:33,808 --> 00:08:35,641
You know them?

229
00:08:35,643 --> 00:08:38,544
Oh, not personally, no.

230
00:08:38,546 --> 00:08:40,312
Hey, what's up, Bishop?

231
00:08:40,314 --> 00:08:41,881
Oh, yeah, I do know them.

232
00:08:41,883 --> 00:08:43,482
We went to school together.

233
00:08:43,484 --> 00:08:44,850
See you at work, bud.

234
00:08:44,852 --> 00:08:46,051
More importantly...

235
00:08:46,053 --> 00:08:47,887
we work together.

236
00:08:47,889 --> 00:08:49,054
You're a cop?

237
00:08:49,056 --> 00:08:50,155
Me?

238
00:08:50,157 --> 00:08:51,457
A cop? No!

239
00:08:51,459 --> 00:08:52,892
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Don't...

240
00:08:52,894 --> 00:08:54,894
No, no, no.
Get that out of your head.

241
00:08:54,896 --> 00:08:57,062
Uh, what I do is I'm a...

242
00:08:57,064 --> 00:09:00,132
male stripper.
A stripper?

243
00:09:00,134 --> 00:09:01,700
That's why they were
wearing the uniforms.

244
00:09:01,702 --> 00:09:04,537
Yeah, I see where you...
why you would think that. No.

245
00:09:04,539 --> 00:09:07,406
A surprising amount of day work
for a stripper.

246
00:09:07,408 --> 00:09:09,675
You know, we just go in there,
we do our routine

247
00:09:09,677 --> 00:09:11,243
while they eat
their lunch salads.

248
00:09:11,245 --> 00:09:12,378
Wow.

249
00:09:12,380 --> 00:09:14,580
You just pray nobody
orders soup.

250
00:09:14,582 --> 00:09:17,349
Lost a lot of good men to soup.

251
00:09:17,351 --> 00:09:19,919
It's hard to gauge temperature

252
00:09:19,921 --> 00:09:23,556
when you're just...
dipping and running.

253
00:09:23,558 --> 00:09:26,792
You'd be surprised what you
could replace a ladle with.

254
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:34,500
Nice day.
Beautiful.

255
00:09:34,502 --> 00:09:37,603
What happened
to the top of my hat?

256
00:09:37,605 --> 00:09:38,837
You take it?

257
00:09:38,839 --> 00:09:40,606
A little, uh...

258
00:09:40,608 --> 00:09:41,941
little visor humor.

259
00:09:41,943 --> 00:09:43,342
Give me back my hat!

260
00:09:43,344 --> 00:09:44,543
I'm kidding.

261
00:09:44,545 --> 00:09:46,245
I wasn't gonna hit you.

262
00:09:46,247 --> 00:09:47,513
I'm just joshing.

263
00:09:47,515 --> 00:09:50,316
Just Joshua, Joshua, joshing...

264
00:09:52,353 --> 00:09:54,253
Do you ladies want
to join my network?

265
00:09:54,255 --> 00:09:56,288
Uh, you ladies can just
go ahead and play through.
Yeah.

266
00:09:56,290 --> 00:09:58,424
Yeah.
I'll catch up with you later.

267
00:09:58,426 --> 00:10:02,027
Uh, so, how-how do you feel
that the networking is going?

268
00:10:02,029 --> 00:10:03,128
Pretty good.

269
00:10:03,130 --> 00:10:05,397
I would call it,
like, a solid B.

270
00:10:05,399 --> 00:10:06,732
It's a cruise ship disaster.

271
00:10:06,734 --> 00:10:08,601
Look, Jess, if you
want those computers,

272
00:10:08,603 --> 00:10:10,903
we have a lot of work to do
and not a lot of time to do it.

273
00:10:10,905 --> 00:10:12,037
Shake my hand.

274
00:10:12,039 --> 00:10:13,205
Gross.

275
00:10:13,207 --> 00:10:14,607
What is your name?

276
00:10:14,609 --> 00:10:15,808
Jess?

277
00:10:15,810 --> 00:10:17,109
You have the confidence
of a child

278
00:10:17,111 --> 00:10:18,611
that was raised in a basement.

279
00:10:18,613 --> 00:10:20,913
Say it with pride,
and include your job title

280
00:10:20,915 --> 00:10:22,615
like it's the second half
of your name.

281
00:10:22,617 --> 00:10:24,984
Like this—
Fawn Moscato, City Council.

282
00:10:24,986 --> 00:10:26,318
Jessica Day, Vice Principal!

283
00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:28,120
How the heck are you?

284
00:10:28,122 --> 00:10:29,922
Lighten it up with a quick joke
whenever possible.

285
00:10:29,924 --> 00:10:31,290
Nice shoes.

286
00:10:31,292 --> 00:10:32,925
Look like you chopped off
Big Bird's feet,

287
00:10:32,927 --> 00:10:34,960
you murderer.

288
00:10:34,962 --> 00:10:36,762
And try not to make jokes
about murdering

289
00:10:36,764 --> 00:10:38,731
Sesame Street puppets
if you can.

290
00:10:38,733 --> 00:10:40,566
Good note.
Now, tell me—

291
00:10:40,568 --> 00:10:41,400
are you wearing underwear?

292
00:10:41,402 --> 00:10:43,502
Oh, yeah. Big-time.

293
00:10:43,504 --> 00:10:45,904
Lose them.
I never wear underwear

294
00:10:45,906 --> 00:10:47,439
in networking scenarios.

295
00:10:47,441 --> 00:10:49,508
Gives you a secret; an edge.

296
00:10:49,510 --> 00:10:50,843
Besides, I firmly believe

297
00:10:50,845 --> 00:10:53,312
that power emanates
from the vagina.

298
00:10:53,314 --> 00:10:55,147
So, why block it?

299
00:10:55,149 --> 00:10:57,983
It's not the only
thing that emanates.

300
00:10:57,985 --> 00:10:59,985
What does that mean?

301
00:10:59,987 --> 00:11:01,954
Other stuff.

302
00:11:01,956 --> 00:11:04,289
So I said, "Tammy,
are we playing golf,

303
00:11:04,291 --> 00:11:05,824
or are we making sand castles?"

304
00:11:07,795 --> 00:11:09,628
Tammy is the worst.

305
00:11:09,630 --> 00:11:12,031
She told my kid to shut up once.
I nearly punched her.

306
00:11:12,033 --> 00:11:14,199
I don't want to start talking
business while we still

307
00:11:14,201 --> 00:11:15,934
have a whole tournament
to play, but...

308
00:11:15,936 --> 00:11:18,337
I'd love to connect about
your ideas in the clubhouse.

309
00:11:18,339 --> 00:11:20,139
Let's meet up there
when we're all done.

310
00:11:20,141 --> 00:11:21,707
Great. I'll see you
in there, Marty.

311
00:11:21,709 --> 00:11:23,208
May I call you Marty?

312
00:11:23,210 --> 00:11:24,343
Oh, I'd prefer it.

313
00:11:25,613 --> 00:11:27,012
The clubhouse?

314
00:11:27,014 --> 00:11:28,614
That is where you
close the deal.

315
00:11:28,616 --> 00:11:30,215
You are in, my friend.

316
00:11:30,217 --> 00:11:32,017
Now, let's finish
up this game.

317
00:11:32,019 --> 00:11:34,119
No problem.

318
00:11:48,903 --> 00:11:51,170
Write a six and let's go.
They should start putting

319
00:11:51,172 --> 00:11:52,905
GPS in golf balls,
am I right?

320
00:11:52,907 --> 00:11:55,374
We already got lapped by Sue Kim

321
00:11:55,376 --> 00:11:58,544
from the Korean Women's League,
and she's 100.

322
00:11:58,546 --> 00:12:01,747
Jess, she is literally
100 years old.

323
00:12:01,749 --> 00:12:05,417
And I'm... I'll tell you what—
not a young 100.

324
00:12:05,419 --> 00:12:07,386
Martha doesn't strike me
as the type of person

325
00:12:07,388 --> 00:12:09,221
who gives computers
to cheaters.

326
00:12:09,223 --> 00:12:13,192
You really don't understand
how networking works.

327
00:12:13,194 --> 00:12:16,161
The computers are just
the thing you talk about

328
00:12:16,163 --> 00:12:18,063
when you're really talking about

329
00:12:18,065 --> 00:12:20,432
how to help each other
become more powerful.

330
00:12:20,434 --> 00:12:22,735
Just like the money
for this golf thing— it doesn't

331
00:12:22,737 --> 00:12:25,938
go to charity. It just pays
for the event where we network.

332
00:12:25,940 --> 00:12:27,639
Isn't that cool?

333
00:12:28,743 --> 00:12:30,375
Yay, America!

334
00:12:30,377 --> 00:12:33,912
Were the computers
ever really on the table?

335
00:12:33,914 --> 00:12:35,547
You're still talking
about the computers?

336
00:12:35,549 --> 00:12:38,851
Okay. Uh, no. No.
No money for computers.

337
00:12:38,853 --> 00:12:40,953
I should've never listened
to you. I also should have

338
00:12:40,955 --> 00:12:43,422
never removed my underwear,
because now it's drafty

339
00:12:43,424 --> 00:12:45,624
and I feel vulnerable
to wildlife.

340
00:12:45,626 --> 00:12:47,126
Are your underwear sticking out
of your pocket?

341
00:12:47,128 --> 00:12:48,427
Are those boys' underwear?

342
00:12:48,429 --> 00:12:50,929
They're unisex.
None of your business.

343
00:12:50,931 --> 00:12:53,265
Look, will you forget the ball?
Or none of these women

344
00:12:53,267 --> 00:12:55,400
are ever going to invite you
to play golf again.

345
00:12:55,402 --> 00:12:58,470
Well, I don't want to play
golf with these women again.

346
00:12:58,472 --> 00:13:00,239
I don't want any part of this.

347
00:13:00,241 --> 00:13:01,540
If I can't have
the computers,

348
00:13:01,542 --> 00:13:03,475
I will...
I will stay here

349
00:13:03,477 --> 00:13:05,410
and I will play a
clean game of golf.

350
00:13:05,412 --> 00:13:08,614
Now, if you'll excuse me, Fawn,
I need to go find my ball.

351
00:13:08,616 --> 00:13:10,315
Like an honest person.

352
00:13:10,317 --> 00:13:11,483
Okay.

353
00:13:11,485 --> 00:13:13,318
Oh, look— it's a baby bird.

354
00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:14,720
No, it's a dead baby bird.

355
00:13:14,722 --> 00:13:17,656
I need to move on
before I get emotional.

356
00:13:17,658 --> 00:13:19,424
Can't believe I didn't
tell her I was a cop.

357
00:13:19,426 --> 00:13:22,594
With everything that's
been going on, I just...

358
00:13:22,596 --> 00:13:24,229
I feel like she
wouldn't respect me.

359
00:13:24,231 --> 00:13:26,999
You want to know what I think?
No, Nick, I don't.

360
00:13:27,001 --> 00:13:28,834
This is something
you can't understand.

361
00:13:28,836 --> 00:13:31,103
Because I'm not black?
Uh...

362
00:13:31,105 --> 00:13:33,639
What, because I don't work for
NASA, I can't fix a rocket ship?

363
00:13:33,641 --> 00:13:35,607
If you don't work at
NASA, they're not gonna

364
00:13:35,609 --> 00:13:37,943
just let you walk off the
street and fix a rocket ship.

365
00:13:37,945 --> 00:13:39,978
You're missing my point.
Besides, you lost your
right to talk to me

366
00:13:39,980 --> 00:13:42,014
about race during
the O.J. trial.

367
00:13:42,016 --> 00:13:43,515
is in the white Bronco...

368
00:13:43,517 --> 00:13:45,651
Why does it have to
be a "white" Bronco?

369
00:13:45,653 --> 00:13:48,453
Why not just a Bronco?

370
00:13:48,455 --> 00:13:49,988
I can talk to you about this.

371
00:13:49,990 --> 00:13:51,523
I mean, we grew up together.

372
00:13:51,525 --> 00:13:54,526
We went to the same schools,
we watched the same shows,

373
00:13:54,528 --> 00:13:56,028
we listened
to the same records.

374
00:13:56,030 --> 00:13:58,530
Your mother got a mouth
on the back of her neck,

375
00:13:58,532 --> 00:14:02,501
and bitch chew like this.

376
00:14:02,503 --> 00:14:04,770
Hercules.

377
00:14:04,772 --> 00:14:06,872
Was that your Eddie Murphy?
That's Eddie Murphy.

378
00:14:06,874 --> 00:14:09,007
That was so bad, it
wasn't even offensive.

379
00:14:09,009 --> 00:14:10,175
I said "Hercules,"
and everyone

380
00:14:10,177 --> 00:14:11,443
associates that
with Eddie Murphy.

381
00:14:11,445 --> 00:14:12,711
Whenever you do
your impressions,

382
00:14:12,713 --> 00:14:14,112
it makes me super
uncomfortable.

383
00:14:14,114 --> 00:14:15,547
Fine. You know what?
You want to do this?

384
00:14:15,549 --> 00:14:17,382
You and me are gonna
get weird about race?

385
00:14:17,384 --> 00:14:18,984
Do your Seinfeld.
Come... Nick, that's not...

386
00:14:18,986 --> 00:14:21,386
Do your Seinfeld.
What's the deal with bananas?

387
00:14:21,388 --> 00:14:23,288
I mean, they got
orange juice,

388
00:14:23,290 --> 00:14:26,525
you got apple juice,
where's the banana juice?

389
00:14:28,295 --> 00:14:29,862
I never thought of that.

390
00:14:29,864 --> 00:14:31,196
Ah, boy.

391
00:14:31,198 --> 00:14:33,799
'Cause you got orange juice,
you...

392
00:14:33,801 --> 00:14:37,402
I love you,
but you're white, I'm black.

393
00:14:37,404 --> 00:14:39,037
I understand
where she's coming from.

394
00:14:39,039 --> 00:14:41,540
When I was a kid,
we used to run from the police.

395
00:14:41,542 --> 00:14:44,042
Even if we did nothing wrong,
it was just out of habit.

396
00:14:44,044 --> 00:14:45,978
Why haven't you ever told me?

397
00:14:45,980 --> 00:14:48,647
'Cause you'll never get it.

398
00:14:48,649 --> 00:14:50,883
How long have you
been standing there?

399
00:14:50,885 --> 00:14:52,918
Uh, right around, "Your mama
got a mouth on the back

400
00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:54,686
of her neck,
and the bitch chew like this."

401
00:14:54,688 --> 00:14:56,188
Now, that's Eddie!
I don't see the difference.

402
00:14:56,190 --> 00:14:57,990
Hercules! Hercules! Hercules!

403
00:14:57,992 --> 00:14:59,491
He's doing the laugh!
That's what I was doing.

404
00:15:01,662 --> 00:15:03,061
Stop, Nick.

405
00:15:03,063 --> 00:15:04,763
I honestly don't
see the difference.

406
00:15:04,765 --> 00:15:06,331
As the only other black man
in this loft,

407
00:15:06,333 --> 00:15:07,532
I feel like I should weigh in.

408
00:15:07,534 --> 00:15:08,500
This issue

409
00:15:08,502 --> 00:15:09,835
really hits home with me,

410
00:15:09,837 --> 00:15:11,536
and I feel like
I have a lot of thoughts

411
00:15:11,538 --> 00:15:13,338
and ideas that I need
to get off my chest.

412
00:15:13,340 --> 00:15:14,873
Thank you, Coach.
But I'm hungry.

413
00:15:14,875 --> 00:15:16,441
Man.
I skipped breakfast,
and lunch

414
00:15:16,443 --> 00:15:17,609
is gonna be dumb as hell.

415
00:15:26,353 --> 00:15:27,753
So, KC...
Shh...

416
00:15:27,755 --> 00:15:28,954
I just feel like...
Can't-can't weigh in.

417
00:15:28,956 --> 00:15:30,689
I know, but I...
Can't weigh in.

418
00:15:30,691 --> 00:15:32,691
I do have something I want
to say that's not a race...

419
00:15:32,693 --> 00:15:34,126
Shh, don't.

420
00:15:34,128 --> 00:15:35,294
I know what I'm gonna do.

421
00:15:35,296 --> 00:15:37,562
I'm gonna tell her the truth.

422
00:15:37,564 --> 00:15:39,464
I'm a good guy;
that's all that matters.

423
00:15:39,466 --> 00:15:41,600
That's what I was gonna say.
I want to make this...
No, no, no.

424
00:15:41,602 --> 00:15:42,901
Shut it down, Nick.

425
00:15:42,903 --> 00:15:44,303
Your mother got a mouth

426
00:15:44,305 --> 00:15:46,371
on the back of her neck,
and she chews like this.

427
00:15:46,373 --> 00:15:47,873
Murphy, Murphy, Murphy.

428
00:15:49,209 --> 00:15:50,976
So the good news is
you can't see

429
00:15:50,978 --> 00:15:52,411
the glitter anymore.
Great.

430
00:15:52,413 --> 00:15:53,645
Well, what's the bad news?

431
00:15:53,647 --> 00:15:55,047
You look like,

432
00:15:55,049 --> 00:15:57,816
um... can't exactly
put my finger on it.

433
00:16:01,588 --> 00:16:04,156
I look like the dead body
the police pull out of a lake.

434
00:16:04,158 --> 00:16:06,224
That's how you describe it;
you look dead.

435
00:16:06,226 --> 00:16:07,559
I don't want to look like
a dead boy.

436
00:16:07,561 --> 00:16:08,894
I want to look like
a living boy.

437
00:16:08,896 --> 00:16:10,162
Why are you calling yourself
a boy?

438
00:16:10,164 --> 00:16:11,396
Because I'm freaking out!

439
00:16:11,398 --> 00:16:12,431
Freaking...

440
00:16:12,433 --> 00:16:13,665
Freaking out. Oh, no.

441
00:16:14,601 --> 00:16:16,001
It's-it's Fawn.

442
00:16:18,739 --> 00:16:20,739
Hey, Faw... hey, Fawn.

443
00:16:20,741 --> 00:16:25,510
What the Jewish God
did you do?

444
00:16:25,512 --> 00:16:26,845
In an attempt to look
less ghost-like,

445
00:16:26,847 --> 00:16:28,413
I put on some bronzer,
but the bronzer

446
00:16:28,415 --> 00:16:29,781
had glitter in it, and now...

447
00:16:29,783 --> 00:16:32,417
You look like a wood carving
of yourself.

448
00:16:32,419 --> 00:16:34,653
The press is here.

449
00:16:34,655 --> 00:16:37,756
And single women have proven
to be less appealing to voters.

450
00:16:37,758 --> 00:16:39,825
Fix it and get here now.

451
00:16:39,827 --> 00:16:42,294
I am Fawn Moscato, and I will
not miss a photo opportunity!

452
00:16:42,296 --> 00:16:43,295
Faw... Oh.

453
00:16:43,297 --> 00:16:44,763
Fawn?

454
00:16:45,499 --> 00:16:46,465
How about a fake beard?

455
00:16:46,467 --> 00:16:47,532
Get some double-sided tape,

456
00:16:47,534 --> 00:16:49,001
we can shave Winston's cat...

457
00:16:49,003 --> 00:16:50,302
Okay, you know what, enough.

458
00:16:50,304 --> 00:16:51,636
I cannot just stand here
and watch Fawn

459
00:16:51,638 --> 00:16:53,105
treat you like
she's your pageant mom.

460
00:16:53,107 --> 00:16:55,140
She needs to accept you
exactly how you are,

461
00:16:55,142 --> 00:16:57,109
or you need to find
somebody that will.

462
00:16:57,111 --> 00:17:00,012
'Cause I think you
are fine as is.

463
00:17:04,385 --> 00:17:06,518
Damn it.

464
00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:08,220
You know what, you're right.
I'm gonna go talk to her.

465
00:17:08,222 --> 00:17:10,956
Can you drive though? I want
to fix my makeup in the car.

466
00:17:10,958 --> 00:17:12,824
For me, not for her.

467
00:17:12,826 --> 00:17:14,993
I don't want to
scare anybody. Ugh.

468
00:17:14,995 --> 00:17:17,362
I think I'm drunk
from the face fumes.

469
00:17:20,567 --> 00:17:22,367
I've never seen
so many strokes taken

470
00:17:22,369 --> 00:17:24,336
on a single hole
in all of my life.

471
00:17:24,338 --> 00:17:26,238
This has got to be
some kind of record.

472
00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:27,539
Do you care to comment?

473
00:17:29,309 --> 00:17:30,809
Hey!

474
00:17:30,811 --> 00:17:32,744
Not bad! Look at her go!

475
00:17:32,746 --> 00:17:34,813
The hole's behind you.

476
00:17:36,216 --> 00:17:38,150
Thanks, Marty.

477
00:17:41,088 --> 00:17:43,355
172!

478
00:17:43,357 --> 00:17:46,191
Par was five.
I know, Marty.

479
00:17:46,193 --> 00:17:47,692
You're the worst golfer
I've ever seen.

480
00:17:47,694 --> 00:17:49,694
Look, I don't care
if I look stupid.

481
00:17:49,696 --> 00:17:51,363
I didn't come here
to climb the ladder.

482
00:17:51,365 --> 00:17:52,898
The only reason why I came here

483
00:17:52,900 --> 00:17:55,100
was to get computers
for my students.

484
00:17:55,102 --> 00:17:58,537
And that's the only reason
why I came: for the school.

485
00:17:58,539 --> 00:17:59,905
I respect that.

486
00:17:59,907 --> 00:18:01,673
I'll get you
those computers.

487
00:18:01,675 --> 00:18:03,508
Really?
Yes, I will.

488
00:18:03,510 --> 00:18:06,878
In 2018, when the district
is fiscally solvent.

489
00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:09,481
I'll... take that as a victory.

490
00:18:13,053 --> 00:18:16,021
I support Vice Principal Day.

491
00:18:16,023 --> 00:18:17,756
It is education

492
00:18:17,758 --> 00:18:20,092
that will bring water
back to this city

493
00:18:20,094 --> 00:18:22,527
and will rebuild
the middle class...

494
00:18:22,529 --> 00:18:23,728
Don't let me
back down.

495
00:18:23,730 --> 00:18:25,197
Don't worry, I will not.

496
00:18:25,199 --> 00:18:27,132
You look...
so crazy right now.

497
00:18:27,134 --> 00:18:29,101
You look like a doll boy.
A doll man.

498
00:18:29,103 --> 00:18:30,735
I'm a d...
I'm a doll man.

499
00:18:30,737 --> 00:18:32,704
A doll man who's about
to get his dignity back.

500
00:18:32,706 --> 00:18:33,872
Let's beat China!

501
00:18:33,874 --> 00:18:36,041
I'm Fawn Moscato!

502
00:18:36,043 --> 00:18:37,442
Oh!

503
00:18:38,479 --> 00:18:40,479
Oh.

504
00:18:40,481 --> 00:18:42,147
I can't believe it.

505
00:18:43,217 --> 00:18:45,117
Now, this ball is a symbol...

506
00:18:46,086 --> 00:18:47,119
of the unity...

507
00:18:47,121 --> 00:18:48,753
Wow!

508
00:18:48,755 --> 00:18:50,455
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no!

509
00:18:50,457 --> 00:18:52,424
Fawn, Fawn, Fawn, Fawn,
Fawn, Fawn, Fawn.

510
00:18:52,426 --> 00:18:54,993
What? What's going on?
You're not wearing any, uh...

511
00:18:54,995 --> 00:18:57,028
Each one's like a snowflake.

512
00:19:02,269 --> 00:19:05,070
What do you mean there's a meme?

513
00:19:05,072 --> 00:19:06,671
It speaks?

514
00:19:06,673 --> 00:19:08,974
Well, what does it say?

515
00:19:08,976 --> 00:19:11,810
Oh, well, that is just crass.

516
00:19:11,812 --> 00:19:14,913
Yes, I know I wanted
a more accessible Web pr...

517
00:19:14,915 --> 00:19:16,848
Will you stop laughing, Lou?

518
00:19:16,850 --> 00:19:18,116
You're a father!

519
00:19:18,118 --> 00:19:20,418
You're my father!

520
00:19:22,189 --> 00:19:23,421
Oh, no, no, it's...

521
00:19:23,423 --> 00:19:24,990
it's carpet cleaner.

522
00:19:24,992 --> 00:19:26,758
You know, I thought I'd take
it right down to the base.

523
00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:28,860
I'll probably have to regrow
some skin, but it's all right.

524
00:19:28,862 --> 00:19:30,662
It's okay, Schmidt.

525
00:19:30,664 --> 00:19:33,265
Look, I understand if you want
to break up with me.

526
00:19:33,267 --> 00:19:34,699
I'm a laughingstock,

527
00:19:34,701 --> 00:19:37,435
and you shouldn't be associated
with my brand.

528
00:19:37,437 --> 00:19:39,804
Which is tainted.

529
00:19:39,806 --> 00:19:41,339
An unfortunate choice of words.

530
00:19:41,341 --> 00:19:45,010
So, what was it you wanted
to say to me?

531
00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:49,147
Fawn, I don't want to
break up with you.

532
00:19:49,149 --> 00:19:52,117
I like you just the
way that you are.

533
00:19:54,688 --> 00:19:58,323
No offense, but you're
terrifying to look at,

534
00:19:58,325 --> 00:20:00,525
and you smell like
a chemical fire.

535
00:20:00,527 --> 00:20:02,661
Taint that the truth?

536
00:20:02,663 --> 00:20:04,896
Yeah.
Did you see what
I did there?

537
00:20:07,201 --> 00:20:09,568
I wanted you to feel good
about when you said it though.
Okay.

538
00:20:14,708 --> 00:20:16,208
KC?

539
00:20:19,179 --> 00:20:20,512
So...

540
00:20:20,514 --> 00:20:24,449
um... this is the real me.

541
00:20:26,220 --> 00:20:28,386
I'm proud of what
I do, I really am.

542
00:20:28,388 --> 00:20:30,255
I work with a lot
of great people,

543
00:20:30,257 --> 00:20:32,324
and I want to be
one of them.

544
00:20:32,326 --> 00:20:34,092
Plus, if there are
ever Ghostbusters,

545
00:20:34,094 --> 00:20:36,628
I know they're gonna recruit
from law enforcement first.

546
00:20:37,731 --> 00:20:39,364
I know you're mad at me.

547
00:20:39,366 --> 00:20:42,767
I just came to say that.

548
00:20:42,769 --> 00:20:45,270
I'm not mad
that you're a cop.

549
00:20:45,272 --> 00:20:46,671
I'm mad that you lied.

550
00:20:46,673 --> 00:20:48,506
Well, tell you what,

551
00:20:48,508 --> 00:20:52,010
uh, is there any way I
could take you out again

552
00:20:52,012 --> 00:20:54,412
and, you know, uh,
be so honest with you

553
00:20:54,414 --> 00:20:56,514
that it scares the
hell out of you?

554
00:20:56,516 --> 00:20:59,351
I don't know.

555
00:21:00,687 --> 00:21:03,355
That uniform is kind of
distracting, isn't it?

556
00:21:04,258 --> 00:21:07,192
Maybe you should... take it off.

557
00:21:12,799 --> 00:21:14,532
You lied and said
you were a stripper;

558
00:21:14,534 --> 00:21:16,368
it seems like
the fair thing to do.

559
00:21:17,638 --> 00:21:19,070
Just in front of
all these people?

560
00:21:19,072 --> 00:21:20,805
In front of
your colleagues?

561
00:21:20,807 --> 00:21:22,474
Oh, okay. I hear
some "whoos!"

562
00:21:23,810 --> 00:21:25,477
You ain't got
no Ginuwine or nothing?

563
00:21:25,479 --> 00:21:28,280
Seriously though,
I'm... I'm...

564
00:21:28,282 --> 00:21:30,148
I really am a police officer.
It's...

565
00:21:30,150 --> 00:21:32,884
I can't really be here
stripping for... you!

566
00:21:34,154 --> 00:21:36,254
It's a clip-on, ladies.

567
00:21:36,256 --> 00:21:38,290
And it's on the ground.
Here we go.

568
00:21:38,292 --> 00:21:41,826
Uh-huh, I want y'all to
get y'all ones ready.

569
00:21:41,828 --> 00:21:43,928
I wear my underwear
two sizes too big.

570
00:21:46,566 --> 00:21:48,266
This is a... this is a thing.

571
00:21:48,268 --> 00:21:50,802
This is a thing I got to do
in order to get my belt off.

572
00:21:50,804 --> 00:21:53,071
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org