1 00:00:01,149 --> 00:00:03,284 Last spring, I knelt, as I do now, 2 00:00:03,319 --> 00:00:05,208 and altered both of our lives forever. 3 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:07,681 And ever since then, 4 00:00:07,682 --> 00:00:11,137 I'm sure you've been wondering when I was gonna make this part official. 5 00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:12,847 Nicholas Miller, 6 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:15,565 will you do me the honor of being my best man? 7 00:00:16,870 --> 00:00:18,819 Oh, hey. 8 00:00:18,854 --> 00:00:20,934 I'm glad you're up. I've got something important to ask you. 9 00:00:21,069 --> 00:00:22,492 - I'm ready. - Would you... 10 00:00:24,056 --> 00:00:25,537 Hold on a second. I need coffee. 11 00:00:25,572 --> 00:00:26,712 Here's one. 12 00:00:26,747 --> 00:00:27,740 Aw. 13 00:00:27,930 --> 00:00:28,974 Thanks. 14 00:00:31,812 --> 00:00:32,945 Mmm. 15 00:00:34,248 --> 00:00:36,248 Mmm. 16 00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:41,954 This just all feels so sudden that, uh... 17 00:00:41,989 --> 00:00:44,156 - I don't know what to say. - Just say yes. 18 00:00:44,191 --> 00:00:45,791 Well, I want to say yes. 19 00:00:45,826 --> 00:00:47,125 I really do. 20 00:00:47,777 --> 00:00:49,125 But I'm sorry. 21 00:00:50,948 --> 00:00:52,192 I'm just not there. 22 00:00:52,351 --> 00:00:54,122 I think that you are there. 23 00:00:55,059 --> 00:00:56,635 But I think it scares the hell out of you. 24 00:00:56,670 --> 00:00:58,704 I wish that were the case. I just... 25 00:00:58,739 --> 00:01:02,708 In my heart, I don't know if I'm your best man. 26 00:01:02,743 --> 00:01:06,378 Nick... I need you to get there. 27 00:01:06,413 --> 00:01:08,613 Do you want to be my maid of honor? 28 00:01:08,649 --> 00:01:12,084 Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes! 29 00:01:12,119 --> 00:01:14,801 Blindsided? How the heck you gonna feel blindsided? 30 00:01:14,836 --> 00:01:16,539 We've been best friends ever since college! 31 00:01:17,412 --> 00:01:18,406 Are you snickering? 32 00:01:18,441 --> 00:01:19,752 Za-zam! 33 00:01:20,327 --> 00:01:22,062 Was it worth it? 34 00:01:22,097 --> 00:01:23,835 Oh, it was worth it. Would've paid double. 35 00:01:25,099 --> 00:01:26,684 All right, get up. 36 00:01:27,368 --> 00:01:28,934 You stupid bastard. 37 00:01:28,969 --> 00:01:31,470 Come here. Of course I'll be your best man! 38 00:01:31,505 --> 00:01:32,541 All right! 39 00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:35,612 These rings are the first 40 00:01:35,976 --> 00:01:39,615 of a dozen accessories that are gonna unify the bridal party. 41 00:01:39,650 --> 00:01:41,646 As you can see from my preliminary vision board, 42 00:01:41,682 --> 00:01:45,150 our wedding will borrow equally from the holy trinity of Liz Taylor, 43 00:01:45,185 --> 00:01:47,139 Jackie O and The Power Gays. 44 00:01:47,187 --> 00:01:48,667 - Oh, I'm scared. - You should be. 45 00:01:48,804 --> 00:01:50,663 Guys, look at us. 46 00:01:50,698 --> 00:01:54,317 A year ago, we were spinning around like cows in the movie Twister. 47 00:01:54,490 --> 00:01:56,141 Now look at us. You guys are engaged. 48 00:01:56,176 --> 00:01:58,231 You're a minority owner of the bar. 49 00:01:58,383 --> 00:02:00,510 I'm the maid of honor who's made of honor. 50 00:02:00,545 --> 00:02:02,361 That joke works better on paper. 51 00:02:02,396 --> 00:02:04,307 - Yeah, probably. - And this guy... 52 00:02:04,505 --> 00:02:09,108 is the cop who freaking saved a freaking kid's life. 53 00:02:09,143 --> 00:02:09,841 Help! 54 00:02:09,890 --> 00:02:11,296 - I'm stuck! - Hey! 55 00:02:12,913 --> 00:02:14,079 Help! 56 00:02:18,622 --> 00:02:19,882 Thanks, Officer. 57 00:02:19,917 --> 00:02:21,850 - Call an ambulance. - I feel fine. 58 00:02:21,885 --> 00:02:23,391 For me! 59 00:02:23,426 --> 00:02:26,484 You know, Channel 4 is calling me the Carport Hero. 60 00:02:26,519 --> 00:02:28,695 I just... I just really hope it sticks. 61 00:02:28,730 --> 00:02:30,190 It's not a big deal. 62 00:02:30,225 --> 00:02:32,839 This is... our year. 63 00:02:32,874 --> 00:02:35,672 The Chinese zodiac says it's the Year of the Monkey. 64 00:02:35,873 --> 00:02:38,737 I say it's the Year of... 65 00:02:58,516 --> 00:03:00,511 Thanks so much for your help, Jess. 66 00:03:01,379 --> 00:03:04,715 Cece has zero idea that you're flying her mother in for the engagement party tonight. 67 00:03:04,806 --> 00:03:06,914 She is... she is alarmingly in the dark. 68 00:03:06,949 --> 00:03:08,436 Maybe it's a cultural thing. 69 00:03:08,471 --> 00:03:10,902 You know, we saw the British coming. India did not. 70 00:03:10,938 --> 00:03:12,511 Are you nervous to meet Cece's mom? 71 00:03:12,512 --> 00:03:15,014 No. Cece said her mom is really excited 72 00:03:15,015 --> 00:03:18,766 that her sexy little bronco has finally met a cowboy that can tame her. 73 00:03:19,316 --> 00:03:23,384 Paraphrasing. And I'm really excited to meet the woman that Cece came out of. 74 00:03:23,419 --> 00:03:24,416 Not paraphrasing. 75 00:03:24,451 --> 00:03:26,069 I like your confidence. 76 00:03:26,104 --> 00:03:28,432 Meeting Big Mama P is huge. 77 00:03:28,467 --> 00:03:30,628 Her approval means everything to Cece. 78 00:03:30,774 --> 00:03:31,721 Mom, 79 00:03:31,756 --> 00:03:33,363 this is my new friend, Jess. 80 00:03:42,861 --> 00:03:44,340 20-minute playdate. 81 00:03:45,860 --> 00:03:48,264 Secretly, she's a romantic, 82 00:03:48,299 --> 00:03:50,522 'cause she used to be a Bollywood dancer 83 00:03:50,557 --> 00:03:53,421 and Mr. P's parents forbid them from marrying. 84 00:03:53,456 --> 00:03:55,080 Hot. Continue. 85 00:03:55,115 --> 00:03:58,917 When they saw her perform, they were so moved, they gave their blessing. 86 00:03:58,952 --> 00:04:00,685 Dance can be so powerful sometimes. 87 00:04:00,721 --> 00:04:02,178 Ugh, don't I know it. 88 00:04:02,179 --> 00:04:05,840 That's why I booked L.A.'s premier Bollywood dance troupe, 89 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,674 - MaHotMoves Gandhi. - MaHotMoves Gandhi. 90 00:04:08,709 --> 00:04:11,028 She's gonna love you. I gotcha. 91 00:04:11,063 --> 00:04:12,720 Okay. I'm gonna go check on the best man. 92 00:04:12,755 --> 00:04:15,187 I'm sure he's handling whatever task you gave him 93 00:04:15,331 --> 00:04:16,647 just fine. 94 00:04:22,753 --> 00:04:24,782 He's so bad at everything! 95 00:04:24,817 --> 00:04:28,299 Look, he's just one of those rare heterosexual men 96 00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:30,232 who does not have a knack for wedding planning. 97 00:04:30,267 --> 00:04:32,084 I'll never understand men like that. 98 00:04:32,488 --> 00:04:35,645 I can't pick up Cece's mom from the airport! 99 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:36,626 It's too much pressure. 100 00:04:36,661 --> 00:04:38,557 You said I only had to do the easy best man stuff. 101 00:04:38,592 --> 00:04:41,328 You're picking someone up from the airport in a car. 102 00:04:41,363 --> 00:04:43,361 Not outer space in a canoe. It is easy, Nick. 103 00:04:43,397 --> 00:04:45,703 - Then why don't you do it? - I can't pick her up. 104 00:04:45,738 --> 00:04:48,667 Tonight is one of the most important nights of my hair's life, 105 00:04:48,702 --> 00:04:49,974 and I need a shampoo. 106 00:04:50,009 --> 00:04:52,785 Not a cut. They'll try and cut it, but I won't let them. 107 00:04:52,873 --> 00:04:54,774 Getting a day-of cut would be insane. 108 00:04:54,809 --> 00:04:56,917 Unless, of course, Julian's working. 109 00:04:56,952 --> 00:04:58,724 Julian won't be working though. 110 00:04:58,906 --> 00:05:00,370 You keep fireworks in your car? 111 00:05:00,405 --> 00:05:01,512 What are you, a little Chinese boy? 112 00:05:01,547 --> 00:05:03,644 Hey, you guys! Just saying hey! 113 00:05:12,205 --> 00:05:14,673 Stop treating me like this, okay? I'm no different from anyone else. 114 00:05:14,708 --> 00:05:15,933 Officer Bishop, 115 00:05:15,968 --> 00:05:19,057 it is an honor to live in your building, sir. 116 00:05:21,935 --> 00:05:24,993 That's Glen, too, man. Glen hates everybody. 117 00:05:25,028 --> 00:05:26,168 Glen flips off kids. 118 00:05:26,169 --> 00:05:27,554 Guys, look, quit it, okay? 119 00:05:27,589 --> 00:05:29,002 Ever since I became the Carport Hero, 120 00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:30,839 you're treating me like I'm special, and I'm not. 121 00:05:30,874 --> 00:05:34,083 It's me. Winnie the Bish! The Bish with the wish! 122 00:05:34,118 --> 00:05:36,034 And my wish is to have fun! 123 00:05:36,035 --> 00:05:38,817 Which is exactly why I'm not gonna confiscate the fireworks behind your back. 124 00:05:38,852 --> 00:05:41,036 Yeah, you got me, Officer Bishop. 125 00:05:41,398 --> 00:05:42,798 You can have it. 126 00:05:43,465 --> 00:05:45,923 I also want you to have this Jesus wig. 127 00:05:45,958 --> 00:05:47,453 - You know, wigs aren't illegal. - I know. 128 00:05:47,488 --> 00:05:48,640 But I think it would look awesome on you. 129 00:05:48,675 --> 00:05:50,007 - So do I. - Put it on. 130 00:05:50,042 --> 00:05:51,930 Fine. 131 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,866 - Whoa. Whoa! - Whoa. Whoa! 132 00:05:55,444 --> 00:05:58,102 - Beautiful! - Winston, you look so handsome. 133 00:05:58,137 --> 00:06:00,305 - Oh, my God. - It looks even better than I thought. 134 00:06:00,340 --> 00:06:02,426 Flight 262 from Mumbai, 135 00:06:02,461 --> 00:06:05,039 your luggage is now arriving at baggage claim 2. 136 00:06:14,288 --> 00:06:15,887 Yes! Yes! 137 00:06:15,922 --> 00:06:17,331 - Take five. - Hey. 138 00:06:17,332 --> 00:06:18,310 - Hey. - Hey, hey. 139 00:06:18,456 --> 00:06:21,211 So, I just got a voice mail from my mom, 'cause she is at the airport. 140 00:06:21,246 --> 00:06:24,017 Did you... did you fly her in for the party? 141 00:06:24,712 --> 00:06:25,703 Yes. 142 00:06:26,257 --> 00:06:28,816 Yeah, I did. It was supposed to be a surprise, but... 143 00:06:28,851 --> 00:06:31,018 Are you so happy? Oh, excuse me. 144 00:06:31,053 --> 00:06:33,454 - Oh, it's just... um... - Hey, Nick. 145 00:06:33,489 --> 00:06:34,426 Hey, Jess. 146 00:06:34,461 --> 00:06:36,284 Guess who did it. Me. 147 00:06:36,319 --> 00:06:38,843 I got Cece's mom. I was even on time. 148 00:06:38,878 --> 00:06:40,147 Oh, she's there. Put her on. 149 00:06:40,182 --> 00:06:41,646 Really? You can speak with her? How? 150 00:06:41,682 --> 00:06:42,888 What are you talking about? 151 00:06:42,889 --> 00:06:44,349 No, Jess, I-I need to talk to you now. 152 00:06:44,384 --> 00:06:46,153 Um, okay. I got to go. 153 00:06:46,575 --> 00:06:48,176 Jess says hi! 154 00:06:48,538 --> 00:06:50,886 Do you prefer the windows down or the AC? 155 00:06:50,921 --> 00:06:53,315 Wow, you look just like Cece! 156 00:06:57,089 --> 00:06:57,962 Yeah. 157 00:06:57,998 --> 00:07:00,508 It's amazing, yeah. I own it myself. 158 00:07:00,543 --> 00:07:02,321 White zone is for the immediate loading 159 00:07:02,356 --> 00:07:04,484 and unloading of passengers only. 160 00:07:05,555 --> 00:07:07,339 What is going on? 161 00:07:07,474 --> 00:07:09,149 Whatever it is, it can't be that bad. 162 00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:12,803 Jess, I haven't told my mom that I'm getting married. 163 00:07:17,033 --> 00:07:18,715 Okay. 164 00:07:20,987 --> 00:07:22,721 Okay. 165 00:07:25,603 --> 00:07:27,895 It's gonna be fine, 'cause... 166 00:07:28,461 --> 00:07:29,821 I'm your maid of honor, 167 00:07:29,856 --> 00:07:31,761 and I will be there with you tonight 168 00:07:31,796 --> 00:07:33,398 every step of the way. 169 00:07:36,236 --> 00:07:37,068 Oh! 170 00:07:37,693 --> 00:07:39,129 Oh, my God! 171 00:07:39,164 --> 00:07:41,072 Oh, Jess! Oh! Oh! 172 00:07:46,919 --> 00:07:48,121 I'm fine. 173 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:53,971 Don't worry about me. The doctor said I'll be good as new in no time. 174 00:07:54,206 --> 00:07:55,570 I know I don't look like somebody 175 00:07:55,605 --> 00:07:58,574 who should be questioning somebody else's judgment, but... 176 00:07:58,810 --> 00:08:00,791 maybe you should have told your mom you were getting married. 177 00:08:00,826 --> 00:08:04,758 I know. I'm just so worried that she is not gonna like Schmidt. 178 00:08:04,793 --> 00:08:07,340 And then she won't give us her blessing... 179 00:08:08,393 --> 00:08:09,453 which would kill me. 180 00:08:09,488 --> 00:08:11,169 Oh, she'll love him when she meets him. 181 00:08:11,204 --> 00:08:13,819 Schmidt is not exactly what my mom had imagined for me. 182 00:08:13,854 --> 00:08:16,979 You know, she wanted someone maybe not so... 183 00:08:19,085 --> 00:08:20,241 white? 184 00:08:20,295 --> 00:08:21,979 Oh, he is so white. 185 00:08:22,014 --> 00:08:23,627 Remember when the power went out, 186 00:08:23,662 --> 00:08:25,699 and we put him in the window to keep the planes away? 187 00:08:25,734 --> 00:08:27,956 What is Schmidt gonna think when he finds out? 188 00:08:28,100 --> 00:08:32,135 We are gonna get her blessing, or I'm not your maid of H. 189 00:08:32,170 --> 00:08:34,147 Those stairs may have broken my body, 190 00:08:34,243 --> 00:08:36,934 but they did not break my spirit. 191 00:08:37,095 --> 00:08:39,073 And with that, I rise. 192 00:08:43,886 --> 00:08:46,366 Honey, you're not... You just need to... Yeah, relax. Okay. 193 00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:48,054 You definitely can't go to this party. 194 00:08:48,089 --> 00:08:49,256 I got to go and tell him. 195 00:08:49,291 --> 00:08:51,116 I got to go tell him before she gets there. 196 00:08:51,151 --> 00:08:53,241 I'll call Nick, and I'll have him stall her. 197 00:08:53,476 --> 00:08:54,395 Okay. 198 00:08:54,585 --> 00:08:58,532 I don't think I can. You have no idea how anxious this woman is to get to the party. 199 00:08:58,567 --> 00:09:00,752 No, no, no, I told you, we're not there yet. 200 00:09:01,036 --> 00:09:02,469 You got to stay plugged in. 201 00:09:02,505 --> 00:09:04,172 You're such a pill. 202 00:09:04,207 --> 00:09:06,807 Well, just take her to the mall, get her some soft serve. 203 00:09:06,842 --> 00:09:10,001 Be sure to save your receipts. I'll reimburse you from the party fund. 204 00:09:10,036 --> 00:09:11,545 Got to go. 205 00:09:11,947 --> 00:09:15,782 Mrs. Parikh, can you keep a secret? 206 00:09:15,818 --> 00:09:18,986 I'm going to kill this soft serve nonsense. 207 00:09:19,021 --> 00:09:20,687 You know what we're gonna do? 208 00:09:20,723 --> 00:09:22,286 We're gonna play laser tag! 209 00:09:22,321 --> 00:09:23,573 What are you doing? 210 00:09:23,608 --> 00:09:24,758 We're gonna play laser tag! 211 00:09:24,793 --> 00:09:27,261 It's a fun American game! It's a fun game! 212 00:09:27,296 --> 00:09:29,296 Groomsmen! Yeah. 213 00:09:29,331 --> 00:09:31,231 Mmm. 214 00:09:31,267 --> 00:09:33,934 Ah. Love each and every one of you sons of bitches. 215 00:09:33,969 --> 00:09:36,157 Now, who are you? I'm Groomsman Number Two. 216 00:09:36,192 --> 00:09:38,372 Big Schmidt, Schmidt's cousin. 217 00:09:38,407 --> 00:09:40,641 I'm Robby, Groomsman Number Four. 218 00:09:40,676 --> 00:09:42,783 I am the ex-boyfriend of the bride, 219 00:09:42,818 --> 00:09:44,978 and a weirdly close friend of the groom. 220 00:09:45,014 --> 00:09:48,115 I'm Number Five, J. Cronkite Valley-Forge. 221 00:09:48,150 --> 00:09:51,025 CFO of Associated Strategies, LLC. 222 00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:53,820 I'm 62 years of age, was recently widowed, 223 00:09:53,856 --> 00:09:55,489 and I believe earnestly 224 00:09:55,524 --> 00:09:58,191 that if we can all work together this wedding season, 225 00:09:58,226 --> 00:10:01,758 we will get more boom-boom than a TNT factory. 226 00:10:01,793 --> 00:10:02,629 Yeah! 227 00:10:02,665 --> 00:10:05,566 Thank you for your time. Thank you for your time. 228 00:10:05,601 --> 00:10:08,870 I have a brief statement from G3, who could not make it here tonight. 229 00:10:08,905 --> 00:10:12,741 It says, "Dear Jess, I can't fly in for every damn party. 230 00:10:12,776 --> 00:10:15,094 "I will see you at... the wedding." 231 00:10:15,129 --> 00:10:16,543 If you know Coach, that's exactly how he... 232 00:10:16,579 --> 00:10:17,945 - "Wedding." - Yeah, yeah. 233 00:10:17,980 --> 00:10:19,981 And then he always goes, "Coach." 234 00:10:20,783 --> 00:10:22,883 Now, me, myself, I am Winston Bishop. 235 00:10:22,918 --> 00:10:24,351 Officer Winston Bishop? 236 00:10:24,386 --> 00:10:26,906 The Winston Bishop? The Carport Hero? 237 00:10:26,941 --> 00:10:29,117 I knew it was you. I saw you on TV, man. 238 00:10:29,152 --> 00:10:31,925 Officer, you make me want to be a better man. 239 00:10:31,961 --> 00:10:34,528 I'm gonna stop, uh, peeing in my ex-wife's mailbox. 240 00:10:34,563 --> 00:10:36,454 No, seriously, everybody, calm down. 241 00:10:36,489 --> 00:10:38,067 Act normal around me. 242 00:10:38,102 --> 00:10:40,328 I'm a fun guy. I do pranks. 243 00:10:40,363 --> 00:10:42,402 Uh, Cece's last wedding? The badger that fell down 244 00:10:42,438 --> 00:10:44,750 and almost killed a bunch of people... that was me! 245 00:10:45,541 --> 00:10:46,933 I'm Prank Sinatra, baby! 246 00:10:46,968 --> 00:10:48,242 Old Brown Eyes. 247 00:10:48,277 --> 00:10:50,277 Ain't no prank like a badger prank, 248 00:10:50,312 --> 00:10:52,747 because a badger prank got badgers, 249 00:10:52,782 --> 00:10:54,675 and it's dangerous as hell! 250 00:11:03,748 --> 00:11:05,304 Ms. Parikh. 251 00:11:11,682 --> 00:11:13,333 Who are you? 252 00:11:14,163 --> 00:11:16,289 Oh. My goodness. Of course. 253 00:11:16,324 --> 00:11:18,338 I must be completely unrecognizable to you 254 00:11:18,374 --> 00:11:20,841 from the countless photos you must have seen. 255 00:11:20,876 --> 00:11:22,976 In honor of your visit, I stood 256 00:11:23,012 --> 00:11:26,013 the humble recipient of a professional shampoo. 257 00:11:26,048 --> 00:11:28,148 So you're the man who's marrying my daughter? 258 00:11:28,183 --> 00:11:29,037 Sure am. 259 00:11:29,038 --> 00:11:31,975 No wonder she didn't tell me that she was engaged. 260 00:11:32,156 --> 00:11:32,919 Oh. 261 00:11:33,703 --> 00:11:34,955 Oh, no, then. 262 00:11:34,990 --> 00:11:37,659 I'm assuming she was afraid I would disapprove. 263 00:11:37,694 --> 00:11:39,756 - But now that you've met me... - I disapprove. 264 00:11:39,791 --> 00:11:41,396 Strong disapprove. 265 00:11:42,097 --> 00:11:44,298 Let's take a moment to applaud your daughter's instincts. 266 00:11:44,333 --> 00:11:46,251 No, no, no. Look, Schmidt. Mom. 267 00:11:47,157 --> 00:11:49,099 I'm sorry. I can explain everything. 268 00:11:49,134 --> 00:11:50,378 Presenting... 269 00:11:51,365 --> 00:11:52,878 Cece's mom! 270 00:11:53,332 --> 00:11:55,242 - Except for that. - I'm her mom. 271 00:11:55,277 --> 00:11:56,310 - You're her mom? - That's my mom. 272 00:11:56,345 --> 00:11:57,944 - Then who are you? - Not her mom. 273 00:11:57,980 --> 00:11:59,184 That's her mom! 274 00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:00,480 A dumb little boy you are! 275 00:12:03,310 --> 00:12:04,462 Yeah. Hello. 276 00:12:04,497 --> 00:12:06,553 So, does Cece's mom love Schmidt, or what? 277 00:12:06,588 --> 00:12:09,945 Which Cece's mom? The real one or the one I may have kidnapped? 278 00:12:11,968 --> 00:12:14,795 Th-The real one? 279 00:12:15,602 --> 00:12:17,638 Anything for Officer Bishop! 280 00:12:17,673 --> 00:12:19,511 The Carport Hero! 281 00:12:19,546 --> 00:12:23,159 Thanks, Glen. Sorry to army crawl into your home like that. 282 00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:33,949 We come from a country of 400 million men. 283 00:12:33,985 --> 00:12:35,584 Let's say half of them are no good. 284 00:12:35,620 --> 00:12:37,353 Another half, very ugly. 285 00:12:37,388 --> 00:12:40,779 That's still 100 million eligible men. 286 00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:43,934 Sure, ten percent are gay. 287 00:12:43,969 --> 00:12:45,327 Puts us at 90 million men. 288 00:12:45,363 --> 00:12:47,897 Ms. Parikh, I love Cece. 289 00:12:47,932 --> 00:12:50,201 Cut it in half again just for fun. 290 00:12:50,368 --> 00:12:52,544 45 million men. 291 00:12:58,443 --> 00:13:00,676 - Cece, when were you gonna tell her? - I'm sorry. 292 00:13:00,711 --> 00:13:03,846 On our wedding day when we were standing beneath our custom hybrid mandap-chuppah? 293 00:13:03,881 --> 00:13:07,349 I'm so sorry. I just... I wanted the moment to be right. 294 00:13:07,385 --> 00:13:08,954 I'm sorry. 295 00:13:18,829 --> 00:13:20,963 We meet again. 296 00:13:20,998 --> 00:13:23,499 Hello! Is anyone here? 297 00:13:25,761 --> 00:13:27,085 Jess? 298 00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:29,000 Winston! Oh, thank God! 299 00:13:29,035 --> 00:13:30,039 I need your help. 300 00:13:30,074 --> 00:13:31,240 Hey, Jess, let me ask you something. 301 00:13:31,275 --> 00:13:33,944 Uh, I'm a fun guy, right? I mean, I have a way about me. 302 00:13:34,101 --> 00:13:36,111 Winston, look at me, look around. 303 00:13:36,428 --> 00:13:38,479 Does your thing seem important now? 304 00:13:38,862 --> 00:13:41,217 You're the Carport Hero. Now I need your help. 305 00:13:41,252 --> 00:13:42,952 No more Carport Hero! 306 00:13:42,987 --> 00:13:45,387 Tonight, I'm Prank Sinatra. 307 00:13:45,423 --> 00:13:47,590 No. No! You didn't play a prank... 308 00:13:47,625 --> 00:13:50,178 You are the worst prankster in the world! 309 00:13:50,213 --> 00:13:53,536 Every prank you do turns out either too big... 310 00:13:53,693 --> 00:13:55,017 What is it? 311 00:13:55,648 --> 00:13:58,834 Did you register me as a sex offender? 312 00:13:59,099 --> 00:14:00,727 or too small. 313 00:14:01,778 --> 00:14:03,974 How'd this blueberry get in here? 314 00:14:04,261 --> 00:14:05,481 I don't... 315 00:14:09,513 --> 00:14:11,914 You should have saw your face! 316 00:14:11,949 --> 00:14:13,515 He did not see that coming. 317 00:14:13,551 --> 00:14:16,252 Just like no one's gonna see what's coming tonight. 318 00:14:16,287 --> 00:14:17,853 Nothing should be coming tonight. 319 00:14:17,888 --> 00:14:18,954 I'm sorry, Jess. 320 00:14:18,990 --> 00:14:21,286 The fuse has already been lit. 321 00:14:21,321 --> 00:14:24,193 The lion has spotted the gazelle. 322 00:14:24,228 --> 00:14:27,463 The doo-doo is already mid-flight to the fan. 323 00:14:27,498 --> 00:14:30,473 The silly hounds have been released. 324 00:14:30,508 --> 00:14:34,370 I repeat: the silly hounds have been released. 325 00:14:34,405 --> 00:14:36,438 What did you d... You know what, never mind. 326 00:14:36,474 --> 00:14:38,207 Just take me to Cece and Schmidt, please. 327 00:14:38,242 --> 00:14:39,831 I did a prank. I did a... Oh. 328 00:14:48,168 --> 00:14:50,025 I hope the scooter fits in the elevator. 329 00:14:50,060 --> 00:14:51,638 There's an elevator? 330 00:14:52,723 --> 00:14:54,957 I'm trying to find out where to return you. 331 00:14:56,189 --> 00:14:57,626 You have pepper spray? 332 00:14:57,662 --> 00:14:59,194 Why didn't you use that on me? 333 00:15:03,567 --> 00:15:05,267 All right, I'll talk to you later. 334 00:15:05,303 --> 00:15:06,802 Well, Cece's mom hates me. 335 00:15:06,837 --> 00:15:09,104 Like Jay Z, I have 99 problems. 336 00:15:09,140 --> 00:15:12,207 But unlike Jay Z, I have zero caveats. 337 00:15:12,243 --> 00:15:13,976 I know, and I'm sorry. 338 00:15:14,011 --> 00:15:17,246 Okay? I'm sorry I screwed up my easy job. 339 00:15:20,785 --> 00:15:22,618 And stop being so mean to me, 340 00:15:22,653 --> 00:15:24,753 or I swear to God I'm gonna fall in love with you! 341 00:15:28,359 --> 00:15:31,260 Where you going? Come back. 342 00:15:33,164 --> 00:15:35,397 Let me make it up to you. 343 00:15:35,433 --> 00:15:38,467 I know that I said I wanted the easy job. 344 00:15:38,502 --> 00:15:39,768 But screw that. 345 00:15:39,804 --> 00:15:42,338 I'm the best man, Schmidty. 346 00:15:42,373 --> 00:15:43,672 I want the hard jobs. 347 00:15:43,708 --> 00:15:45,140 I can handle it. 348 00:15:45,516 --> 00:15:47,142 So what do we got? What do we need? 349 00:15:47,178 --> 00:15:48,844 We're past hard at this point. 350 00:15:48,879 --> 00:15:51,113 We're well into impossible. 351 00:15:51,148 --> 00:15:53,054 It's an unfixable situa... 352 00:15:53,176 --> 00:15:57,953 Schmidt, I did not just drive 15 miles on a gout throne 353 00:15:57,988 --> 00:15:59,800 to watch you give up. 354 00:15:59,835 --> 00:16:00,908 Especially not... 355 00:16:04,548 --> 00:16:05,666 Look at yourself. 356 00:16:05,701 --> 00:16:06,729 Look around us. 357 00:16:06,764 --> 00:16:09,031 - Maybe this isn't our year. - I have a plan. 358 00:16:09,132 --> 00:16:10,914 And whatever it is, I'm in. I got this guy's back. 359 00:16:10,915 --> 00:16:11,874 Don't think we actually need... 360 00:16:11,910 --> 00:16:14,152 - I know, but I'm in, is what I'm saying. - That... I mean... 361 00:16:15,779 --> 00:16:17,007 - Okay, whatever. - I want in. 362 00:16:17,041 --> 00:16:18,958 - Schmidt, how important is this to you? - Have I made that clear? 363 00:16:18,993 --> 00:16:21,043 - That I want to be, like, a third. - You can be in. You're in. 364 00:16:21,078 --> 00:16:22,044 - You're in. - Thanks. 365 00:16:22,079 --> 00:16:23,545 That's all I wanted her to say. 366 00:16:23,581 --> 00:16:25,563 Are you willing to do whatever it takes? 367 00:16:25,598 --> 00:16:26,626 Of course. 368 00:16:26,661 --> 00:16:30,179 I also didn't love the tone that, like, "I'm in, but who cares that I'm in?" 369 00:16:30,214 --> 00:16:31,387 Ladies and gentlemen, 370 00:16:31,422 --> 00:16:33,889 could I have your attention please? 371 00:16:34,363 --> 00:16:35,190 Hello. 372 00:16:35,226 --> 00:16:36,631 I'm Jessica Day. 373 00:16:36,761 --> 00:16:39,161 I'm the maid of honor, but when I fell down the stairs, 374 00:16:39,196 --> 00:16:41,245 I wished I was made of rubber. 375 00:16:45,436 --> 00:16:48,070 Uh... 376 00:16:48,105 --> 00:16:50,672 This one goes out to the secret romantic in the audience. 377 00:16:50,708 --> 00:16:53,409 Just a little reminder that love... 378 00:16:53,924 --> 00:16:55,376 conquers all. 379 00:16:55,411 --> 00:16:58,935 And without further ado, MaHotMoves Gandhi. 380 00:17:00,451 --> 00:17:01,850 Follow me, follow me. 381 00:17:01,886 --> 00:17:02,851 Follow me! 382 00:17:26,977 --> 00:17:28,477 Think they're all really friends? 383 00:17:28,512 --> 00:17:31,547 You know, I mean, when the dancing day is done? 384 00:18:43,854 --> 00:18:45,454 Hey. 385 00:18:45,644 --> 00:18:46,914 That was great. 386 00:18:46,949 --> 00:18:48,220 Fantastic. 387 00:18:48,375 --> 00:18:49,992 Wonderful. 388 00:18:54,274 --> 00:18:55,734 Where'd she go? 389 00:18:59,865 --> 00:19:01,331 Mrs. Parikh? Please, wait. 390 00:19:01,366 --> 00:19:03,133 Stop. Look. 391 00:19:03,168 --> 00:19:04,935 It was my idea. 392 00:19:04,970 --> 00:19:07,185 I thought we could sway you with the power of dance. 393 00:19:07,220 --> 00:19:09,505 You really think a dance is all it takes? 394 00:19:09,540 --> 00:19:12,678 Mom, I know that Schmidt is not what you imagined. 395 00:19:12,869 --> 00:19:14,161 Or what I imagined. 396 00:19:14,196 --> 00:19:17,914 I never thought I would fall for the slim-hipped ghost of Tom Cruise. 397 00:19:17,949 --> 00:19:19,185 None of us did. 398 00:19:19,220 --> 00:19:20,278 Quiet, Chair. 399 00:19:21,032 --> 00:19:22,683 But I love him. 400 00:19:23,555 --> 00:19:26,612 He makes me so happy, and I'm gonna marry him. 401 00:19:29,995 --> 00:19:32,162 I will not give my blessing. 402 00:19:39,437 --> 00:19:42,129 Cece, Schmidt... 403 00:19:43,675 --> 00:19:45,709 Oh, God. 404 00:19:46,433 --> 00:19:47,741 Crunch. Ah... 405 00:19:48,368 --> 00:19:49,663 Shoot me. 406 00:19:52,345 --> 00:19:53,850 You have my blessing. 407 00:19:56,291 --> 00:19:58,722 You have my blessing, too. 408 00:19:59,119 --> 00:20:00,407 Mine, too. 409 00:20:01,695 --> 00:20:04,283 Oh, come on, Not-Cece's mom. 410 00:20:04,318 --> 00:20:05,524 That would've been awesome. 411 00:20:05,559 --> 00:20:06,863 It was a natural three. 412 00:20:06,898 --> 00:20:08,257 You got to finish. 413 00:20:13,958 --> 00:20:15,438 We'll get her on board. 414 00:20:15,601 --> 00:20:16,673 I promise. 415 00:20:16,708 --> 00:20:17,941 Oh, she's gonna get hers. 416 00:20:17,976 --> 00:20:19,109 No, no, Winston, no. 417 00:20:19,144 --> 00:20:20,610 What did you do? No pranks. 418 00:20:20,645 --> 00:20:21,666 Such bad timing. 419 00:20:21,701 --> 00:20:23,134 Hey, Mrs. Parikh. 420 00:20:23,471 --> 00:20:25,250 Check your shoe. 421 00:20:31,384 --> 00:20:33,140 Tickle foot! 422 00:20:33,472 --> 00:20:36,013 I put a feather in your shoe! 423 00:20:39,749 --> 00:20:41,285 Too small, dude. 424 00:20:42,117 --> 00:20:43,501 Way too small. 425 00:20:44,469 --> 00:20:45,935 I've revised my vision. 426 00:20:45,971 --> 00:20:47,237 Honey, without my mom's help, 427 00:20:47,272 --> 00:20:49,739 I don't think we can afford to parachute the rabbi in. 428 00:20:49,775 --> 00:20:52,104 Well, that's why I've pared it down to only the things that matter. 429 00:20:52,139 --> 00:20:53,022 That's great. 430 00:20:53,057 --> 00:20:54,943 We can throw a wedding on a budget. 431 00:20:55,082 --> 00:20:56,343 This is our year. 432 00:20:56,378 --> 00:20:57,913 We can do anything. 433 00:20:59,783 --> 00:21:01,305 Now, who's gonna take me to the john? 434 00:21:01,340 --> 00:21:02,309 - Not it! - Really? 435 00:21:02,310 --> 00:21:03,620 - You're the only girl here. - I can't. It hurts my back. 436 00:21:03,655 --> 00:21:04,821 Who keeps giving her juice? 437 00:21:04,856 --> 00:21:07,109 You're in a senility scooter; use a diaper! 438 00:21:21,358 --> 00:21:22,672 That's a good tickle. 439 00:21:22,707 --> 00:21:24,507 Oh. 440 00:21:33,631 --> 00:21:35,091 Easy, Winnie.