1
00:00:02,536 --> 00:00:03,869
Hey. Uh, where'd you get
these burritos?

2
00:00:03,871 --> 00:00:05,137
From the spot on the corner?

3
00:00:05,139 --> 00:00:06,839
Mmm.
Yeah, the spot on the corner.

4
00:00:06,841 --> 00:00:08,507
You know I helped a lady
give birth in the kitchen?

5
00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:09,942
Ugh.

6
00:00:09,944 --> 00:00:11,610
That's disgusting.

7
00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:16,615
A baby in the middle
of the place.

8
00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:18,951
I knew that wasn't
going to stop you.

9
00:00:18,953 --> 00:00:21,286
Disgusting. You didn't tell
us you delivered a baby.

10
00:00:21,288 --> 00:00:23,055
Baby's perfectly fine.

11
00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:26,325
But let's just say
I did not do a good job.

12
00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:28,994
Oh, Reagan. What's up?

13
00:00:28,996 --> 00:00:31,663
Hey. So, uh, I just
jogged past a guy

14
00:00:31,665 --> 00:00:33,565
that's offering
donkey rides for $50.

15
00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:35,868
Feel like that's too much
for a donkey ride, right?

16
00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:37,870
It's a dog, not a donkey.

17
00:00:37,872 --> 00:00:40,672
I know that guy.
His name is...

18
00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:42,241
His name is Stan.

19
00:00:42,243 --> 00:00:44,209
Stan. S-T-A-N.

20
00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:46,311
His dog's name's Cheerio.

21
00:00:46,313 --> 00:00:47,379
Hold on.

22
00:00:52,887 --> 00:00:54,486
It's not a donkey.

23
00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:55,888
Um, it's a dog.

24
00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:56,955
Okay.

25
00:00:58,225 --> 00:00:59,758
That was painful, Nick.

26
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:01,593
It's like watching Cece
make a bed.

27
00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:11,437
Just give me the sheet!

28
00:01:11,439 --> 00:01:13,906
I can't be normal around Reagan.

29
00:01:13,908 --> 00:01:15,741
She's too hot
and mysterious.

30
00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:17,576
I mean, I haven't peed
in four days,

31
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:21,146
which is alarming because I have
been drinking constantly.

32
00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:26,051
Yep. Nothing.

33
00:01:26,053 --> 00:01:27,553
The fact of the matter is,

34
00:01:27,555 --> 00:01:29,588
is that she don't want
to hang out with us.

35
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:31,557
She's our roommate, but she
being straight up discourteous.

36
00:01:31,559 --> 00:01:35,694
Reagan, why don't you
join the fiesta, huh?

37
00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:37,129
I'll make up
a pitcher of margaritas.

38
00:01:37,131 --> 00:01:38,464
That's tempting, but, uh,

39
00:01:38,466 --> 00:01:40,032
if I have one margarita,
I'll have eight;

40
00:01:40,034 --> 00:01:41,800
and if I have eight,
end up riding that donkey

41
00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:43,602
all the way to Santa Monica,
so...

42
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:46,071
It'd be great
to watch you ride a donkey!

43
00:01:46,073 --> 00:01:48,207
Thanks, but no, thanks.
There's extra toilet paper

44
00:01:48,209 --> 00:01:50,209
in the bathroom! It's...

45
00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:52,044
Are you hiding
toilet paper again?

46
00:01:52,046 --> 00:01:54,146
I can't do this. Did she
hit us with a "No, thanks"?

47
00:01:54,148 --> 00:01:57,049
How about this? No, thanks,
to your "No, thanks."

48
00:01:57,051 --> 00:01:58,317
Here's what I'm gonna do—

49
00:01:58,319 --> 00:02:00,052
I'm gonna make her
hang out with us

50
00:02:00,054 --> 00:02:01,987
whether she wants to or not.

51
00:02:01,989 --> 00:02:05,290
Oh, yeah, this woman just made
my nonsexual to-do list.

52
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:07,459
You have a sexual to-do list?
Cece, don't ask.

53
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:09,161
Number one...
I regret it already.

54
00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:10,662
Joan Allen.

55
00:02:18,439 --> 00:02:22,274
Oh! Nick! She's back in the kitchen!
She's back in the kitchen!

56
00:02:22,276 --> 00:02:25,077
Nick, we're making sex.
It hasn't started yet.

57
00:02:25,079 --> 00:02:27,312
It's not sex until you put
the straw in the coconut.

58
00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:28,981
It's called foreplay, you tween.

59
00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:30,849
You don't just buy
a Porsche off the lot and

60
00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:32,985
immediately enter it in the
Groser Preis von Deutschland.

61
00:02:32,987 --> 00:02:35,120
What? The Groser Preis
von Deutschland.

62
00:02:35,122 --> 00:02:37,523
Just let me eat in here. I don't
want to eat around Reagan.

63
00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:40,159
Why not? Oh, I
forgot that you're

64
00:02:40,161 --> 00:02:42,661
a bear in pants. Will you
please go eat in your room?

65
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:44,863
She's right across the hall.
She'll hear the crunching!

66
00:02:44,865 --> 00:02:46,598
We need you elsewhere, Nick.

67
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,100
From my cold, dead hands!

68
00:02:48,102 --> 00:02:49,868
That doesn't even apply.

69
00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:52,037
Reagan!

70
00:02:52,039 --> 00:02:54,506
Ooh, what a coincidence.
We're both running!

71
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:58,277
And I've been chasing you
for miles like a murderer!

72
00:02:58,279 --> 00:03:00,312
I kind of prefer to run alone.
You see?

73
00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:02,347
That's your problem
right there.

74
00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:04,683
We're roommates now,
and in our loft,

75
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,319
we do things together,
like a family.

76
00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:09,655
Ooh, look. A bubbler.

77
00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:11,623
Oh. Oh.

78
00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:16,862
Oh, that's so good! Mmm.

79
00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:19,565
There's a Band-Aid in there.
Reagan?

80
00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:23,335
Camilla. Oh, my God. Hi.

81
00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:25,404
Why did I think
you were still in Atlanta?

82
00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:28,307
Oh, because last night
you sent me a text

83
00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:29,841
saying, "Still in Atlanta."

84
00:03:29,843 --> 00:03:33,178
Well, hello. What
have we here?

85
00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:34,980
Back on the stick, I see.
No, no, no.

86
00:03:34,982 --> 00:03:38,016
No. No. I'm just staying
with him and his roommates.

87
00:03:38,018 --> 00:03:39,017
Yeah, which is exactly
why you got to start

88
00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:40,752
hanging out with us more.

89
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,721
You know, we only got you for a month.
I get you for a whole month?

90
00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:45,457
I'm about to start
binge-watching Ken Burns's Jazz.

91
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:51,430
Oh, Ken Burns's Jazz.

92
00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:52,998
Call you later. I will.
Do that.

93
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,733
Call me, yes. Okay, great.
I'm going to. Okay.

94
00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:56,335
Great.
Can't wait.

95
00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:59,171
What is wrong with you?
What is wrong with you?

96
00:03:59,173 --> 00:04:01,607
I am hooking up with her.
I'm dating her a little bit,

97
00:04:01,609 --> 00:04:03,675
but I'm over it,
and I'm trying to avoid her.

98
00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:05,944
What are you telling people
I'm here for a month for?

99
00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:07,446
Oh, you see what we're
doing right now?

100
00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:08,914
We're vibing, we're
talking about stuff!

101
00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,682
Okay, now it's my turn.
Let me do you.

102
00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:13,051
Um... I think I swallowed
a Band-Aid earlier.

103
00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:14,686
Now I have to dump her,
and I have never

104
00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:16,255
dumped anybody before.
I don't know how.

105
00:04:16,257 --> 00:04:19,725
I travel so much that I
usually just disappear. Wow.

106
00:04:19,727 --> 00:04:22,628
Okay. I will help
you break up with her.

107
00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:24,563
Why? 'Cause you've been dumped,
like, a million times?

108
00:04:24,565 --> 00:04:26,698
No. Because I'm your roommate,
and we have each other's backs.

109
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,734
Wait a minute.
What makes you think

110
00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:30,302
I've been dumped a lot?
Please.

111
00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:31,870
I read you guys
the moment I got there.

112
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:34,306
Nick's deal is,
he honest-to-God might be 50.

113
00:04:34,308 --> 00:04:37,542
Schmidt's deal is he had
to Shazam "Stairway to Heaven."

114
00:04:37,544 --> 00:04:39,444
And your deal is
you've been dumped a lot.

115
00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:41,246
You're pretty good.
You're pretty good.

116
00:04:41,248 --> 00:04:42,581
How did Nick go through

117
00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:44,750
so many napkins,
yet get salsa everywhere?

118
00:04:44,752 --> 00:04:48,120
We've got no privacy, and it
has been way, way, way too long

119
00:04:48,122 --> 00:04:50,055
since Mama got her biscuits.

120
00:04:50,057 --> 00:04:52,758
And the biscuits... are rising.

121
00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:54,926
I hope they stick to the
pan and get a little brown

122
00:04:54,928 --> 00:04:57,262
on the bottom.
I'm gonna be honest.

123
00:04:57,264 --> 00:04:59,231
That went right over my head.
I just didn't get it.

124
00:04:59,233 --> 00:05:00,799
I don't know... I don't know
where you're going with it.

125
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:02,301
Plus, I can't concentrate.
It's filthy in here.

126
00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:04,736
How do we keep Nick out
of here? He thinks that

127
00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:07,239
Reagan is some sort
of superhuman goddess.

128
00:05:07,241 --> 00:05:09,241
Okay, well, the truth of the
matter is, is I kind of get it.

129
00:05:09,243 --> 00:05:11,510
You know, when we first met,
I had to pretend that all kinds

130
00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:13,612
of things were wrong with you
just so I wouldn't freak out.

131
00:05:13,614 --> 00:05:15,814
You know, like, I gave you
a glass eye for a while.

132
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,983
You had a wooden foot
for a short period of time.

133
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:19,351
There was one week
where I pretended

134
00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:20,919
that you were a Democrat.

135
00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:23,021
I am a Democrat.

136
00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:25,524
Ah, that's so funny.
I love you. Okay.

137
00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:28,360
So we tell Nick she has a glass eye.
He'll spin out.

138
00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:30,962
He'll think the eye is
a government-issued camera

139
00:05:30,964 --> 00:05:32,464
taking pictures for Langley.

140
00:05:32,466 --> 00:05:34,599
Nick's a conspiracy theorist.

141
00:05:34,601 --> 00:05:36,368
It's like an Irish
carnival up there—

142
00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:38,937
just potato peels,
broken rides, fiddle music,

143
00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:42,140
dreams left unfulfilled,
bloodied soccer jerseys,

144
00:05:42,142 --> 00:05:44,643
bunch of women
limping around named Moira.

145
00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:47,879
Okay. So all we have
to do is find a detail

146
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:49,648
that won't make
him spin out. Easy.

147
00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:51,383
It'll be the opposite of easy.

148
00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:53,518
It will be difficult.
Oh.

149
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,555
We need to come up with
something so smart, so nuanced,

150
00:05:56,557 --> 00:06:00,292
so... unexpected, so surgical,

151
00:06:00,294 --> 00:06:04,396
that only a genius
could think of it.

152
00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:05,964
Reagan wears a wig.

153
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:08,066
What? Get out of here.
No, it's true.

154
00:06:08,068 --> 00:06:09,301
She-she told me.

155
00:06:09,303 --> 00:06:10,535
Oh, she told you?
Yeah.

156
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:13,405
When?
Before.

157
00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:17,242
Well, the timing
definitely checks out.

158
00:06:17,244 --> 00:06:19,077
The only question is why.

159
00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:20,846
Personal, um, lady reasons.

160
00:06:20,848 --> 00:06:22,347
I don't want
to touch that.

161
00:06:23,984 --> 00:06:25,984
"Reagan wears a wig."

162
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:28,019
"Told you before."

163
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:30,722
Yep.
"Because of lady stuff."

164
00:06:33,327 --> 00:06:35,360
Wow.

165
00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:37,062
I don't buy it.

166
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:39,264
Doesn't make sense.

167
00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:42,334
We failed.
Patience. I know my boy.

168
00:06:42,336 --> 00:06:43,935
But, Schmidt...
I know my boy!

169
00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:45,570
Hey, Nick.

170
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:48,573
Got to get busy living
or get busy dying. Heard.

171
00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:07,392
What are you doing? What are you doing
is the question. What are you doing?

172
00:07:07,394 --> 00:07:09,961
Were you just smelling my hair?
No. I'm just Nicky being Nicky.

173
00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:12,063
Sometimes I feel like
you're in one of those

174
00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:13,365
weird man-dog
body-switch movies.

175
00:07:13,367 --> 00:07:15,367
You like those, too? Neither?

176
00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:19,704
It's a wig.

177
00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:23,642
Doesn't make sense!

178
00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:25,377
What?

179
00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:27,979
Ding, ding.

180
00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:31,216
The biscuits are ready.

181
00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:33,051
Well, did you make
enough for Cousin Andy?

182
00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:36,321
S...

183
00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:38,390
I'm-I'm gonna tell you
the truth.

184
00:07:38,392 --> 00:07:40,058
I don't get that one, either.
Who the hell is Cousin Andy?

185
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:42,027
I just made it up. Mmm.

186
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,066
Reagan, I have been
broken up with

187
00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:50,268
so many times in so
many different places.

188
00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:53,905
Um, multiple parks, coffee
shops, uh, Santa's lap,

189
00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:56,408
Kitchen Stadium
on Iron Chef,

190
00:07:56,410 --> 00:07:58,143
airplanes
in economy,

191
00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:00,579
economy select, economy
comfort, platinum economy,

192
00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:02,314
all covered in butterflies...

193
00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:03,949
I feel like we have established
your credentials.

194
00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:07,252
Okay. So I'm Camilla.
Break up with me.

195
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:11,756
Camilla...

196
00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:13,024
Yes, baby. I love you so much.

197
00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:16,628
We have had a lot
of really good times together,

198
00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:20,432
and I just... Oh, my God. Oh, my
God, oh, my goodness, oh, my God!

199
00:08:20,434 --> 00:08:22,668
I knew this was comin'. Oh,
my God, oh, my goodness.

200
00:08:22,694 --> 00:08:23,702
What-what are you doing?

201
00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:25,308
Oh, no. Are you breaking up with me?
Why you hate me?

202
00:08:25,334 --> 00:08:26,037
Why you hate me so much?

203
00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:28,607
I don't... I don't hate you.
I don't hate you. Oh, my God,

204
00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:30,342
you don't? Oh, my goodness. So
you're not breaking up with me.

205
00:08:30,344 --> 00:08:31,877
We're gonna have such a
happy life together. I-I...

206
00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:33,478
I am. I am breaking up with you.
Oh, my God,

207
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,213
you is breakin' up with me.

208
00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:37,349
Why you is breakin' up with me
and stuff?

209
00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:40,218
Yo, this is mad crazy. I'm
pregnant with your child. Okay.

210
00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:42,521
That isn't possible.
Yeah, his name is D'Lante.

211
00:08:42,523 --> 00:08:44,456
We would never
name our child that.

212
00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:46,024
Yeah. D-apostrophe-Lante.

213
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,359
No, I can't...
Look, I can't do this.

214
00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:48,693
Look, I want you
to be happy. Here.

215
00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:50,128
Here's $80.
Wow. Really?

216
00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:51,463
You're just gonna bail?
Yeah.

217
00:08:51,465 --> 00:08:52,797
I suck at this, obviously.

218
00:08:52,799 --> 00:08:53,999
I don't want to hurt her.
Honey,

219
00:08:54,001 --> 00:08:55,333
sit down, sit down, sit down.

220
00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:57,202
Here.

221
00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:00,205
Why don't you just be honest

222
00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:01,806
about why you're breaking up
with her?

223
00:09:01,808 --> 00:09:03,542
I don't... know.

224
00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:06,545
I just feel like it's over.
Let me tell you

225
00:09:06,547 --> 00:09:08,547
about some reasons
why I've been broken up with.

226
00:09:08,549 --> 00:09:11,149
Um, "you're too nasty in bed,
Winston."

227
00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:14,753
Or "you remind me of my
brother, Winston." Or...

228
00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:17,556
or "Winston, you spend too much
time in the butterfly house."

229
00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:18,990
I have an idea.
Okay.

230
00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:20,759
What if you break up
with Camilla for me?

231
00:09:20,761 --> 00:09:23,061
I'm sorry, what? Because obviously
you understand how it feels,

232
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,430
and you'll be much more gentle
and empathetic.

233
00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:27,198
What? No, that is
the exact opposite

234
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,067
of what we're trying
to accomplish here.

235
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:32,404
This is a very important
moment in your life.

236
00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:36,274
You see, you have the
ability to change,

237
00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:38,076
and that is what I find

238
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:41,880
the most beautiful
about human beings.

239
00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:43,782
If you do it, I will do
a 20-minute roommate dinner.

240
00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:44,616
Okay, deal.

241
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:48,053
I been thinking...
Damn it, Miller!

242
00:09:48,055 --> 00:09:51,222
Maybe Winston was right. How well
do we know this Reagan character?

243
00:09:51,224 --> 00:09:53,758
I mean, sure, she wears a wig.

244
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,528
Not a big deal.
Or, let me ask you,

245
00:09:56,530 --> 00:09:57,762
is it a big deal?

246
00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,097
Ask yourself,

247
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:01,533
what type of person wears a wig?

248
00:10:01,535 --> 00:10:03,301
A bald person?

249
00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:04,736
Sure.
I'll say so.

250
00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:07,205
They're bald.
Somebody hiding something?

251
00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:08,707
Definitely.
Okay, look.

252
00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:10,709
Maybe she's not hiding
anything, all right?

253
00:10:10,711 --> 00:10:12,711
Beyoncé, Beyoncé
wears wigs,

254
00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:14,779
and you would trust
Beyoncé with your life.

255
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,414
Yeah, I'd trust Beyoncé
with my life.

256
00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:26,691
We be all night.

257
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:30,095
We be all night.

258
00:10:30,097 --> 00:10:32,097
Nick, is it possible
that you are maybe

259
00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:34,132
overthinking this just
a little bit, okay?

260
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:36,167
'Cause, look, Reagan is
a really good roommate.

261
00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:38,903
She's quiet, she pays,
she takes care of her room.

262
00:10:38,905 --> 00:10:40,071
Her room. That's it.

263
00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:41,172
Great thinking.

264
00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:42,807
That's why I love you.

265
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,442
That's why.

266
00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:46,177
Not physically.

267
00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:48,013
Uh, but as a person.

268
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:50,515
Like, um, it's not sexual.
I love you like a mother

269
00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:52,951
or a sister or a girlfriend.
It's not sexual.

270
00:10:52,953 --> 00:10:54,419
Her room!

271
00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:57,589
Come on, come on,
come on, come on. Oh!

272
00:10:57,591 --> 00:10:59,357
Jackpot.

273
00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:01,960
Ribbons!
Oh, these are probably Jess's.

274
00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:03,795
Nick, stop. You should
not be in here.

275
00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:06,931
I am learning so much
about you, Reagan.

276
00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:09,167
An Ohio State T-shirt.

277
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:13,138
Cash from Canada.
It's Canadian cash.

278
00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:16,474
A picture of
a little boy.

279
00:11:16,476 --> 00:11:19,377
This woman is like an orange. You peel
a layer, there's another layer there.

280
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:21,379
You're thinking of an onion.
An orange only has one layer.

281
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:23,281
Oh, you poor thing.
Okay,

282
00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:24,783
someone has to put
everything back

283
00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:26,618
exactly like they found it.
Well, it clearly is

284
00:11:26,620 --> 00:11:29,220
gonna be me, 'cause I'm
the only one who can fold.

285
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:30,855
Nick, what are you doing?

286
00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:32,957
I'm making a mess,
but I'm finding the truth.

287
00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:35,126
Okay, I'm gonna end this.
Nick, Reagan doesn't wear a wig.

288
00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:36,661
We made the whole thing up.
But I smelled it

289
00:11:36,663 --> 00:11:37,896
and I saw it. We
couldn't get you

290
00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:40,065
out of our room.
Why would you lie to me?

291
00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:42,167
Well, we wouldn't need to lie
to you if you would just talk

292
00:11:42,169 --> 00:11:43,635
to Reagan instead of
hiding out in my room

293
00:11:43,637 --> 00:11:45,170
with your cheap
Southwestern food.

294
00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:46,871
Talk to her? Like a
normal human being? Yes,

295
00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:48,206
that's exactly what I want you to do.
Yes. Mm-hmm.

296
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,208
I have nothing in common
with that woman.

297
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,877
She is a goddess who's descended
from the heavens.

298
00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:55,814
And I'm just a mud man
from the bowels of Chicago.

299
00:11:55,816 --> 00:11:57,916
Let's clean this place up,
and let's get out of here.

300
00:11:57,918 --> 00:12:00,919
She's gonna be home soon.
Wait.

301
00:12:03,657 --> 00:12:05,657
What are these?

302
00:12:05,659 --> 00:12:08,226
"Sarah Nevada"?
"Suzi Shimizu"?

303
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,260
That's Reagan's face.

304
00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:11,029
These are fake I.D.'s.

305
00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:13,198
Fake I.D.'s?

306
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:14,766
Okay.

307
00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:16,568
It's f... it's fake
identification.

308
00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:18,536
You're damn right
it is, Jack.

309
00:12:18,538 --> 00:12:20,238
Okay.
Okay.

310
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,073
Look, this is a little bit
weird, but I'm sure there's

311
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,341
a perfectly reasonable
explanation for this.

312
00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:25,610
Maybe Nick is
onto something here, okay?

313
00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:28,046
Because how much do we
actually really know about her?

314
00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:30,181
Who has fake I.D.'s?
I'll tell you who.

315
00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:32,684
Con men. Grifters.

316
00:12:32,686 --> 00:12:34,085
It's all starting
to make sense to me.

317
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:36,454
Check this out.
Let me break this down for you.

318
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:39,724
Okay? She and her bastard son...

319
00:12:39,726 --> 00:12:40,959
Or her nephew.
who she had

320
00:12:40,961 --> 00:12:43,461
with the Ohio State professor,

321
00:12:43,463 --> 00:12:45,897
go town to town,
selling...

322
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:47,632
let's say fake pills.

323
00:12:47,634 --> 00:12:51,035
Pills. Doctor. Pharmacy.
Whatever she does.

324
00:12:51,037 --> 00:12:52,704
To a bunch of
maple-sucking

325
00:12:52,706 --> 00:12:54,272
tree huggers.

326
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:58,610
Aka those lovely stoners
from the north,

327
00:12:58,612 --> 00:13:00,712
our Canadian brothers
and sisters.

328
00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:05,950
Let's just clean this place up, and
let's get out of here.

329
00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:09,387
REAGAN: Guys! Winston
made me bring home dinner.

330
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:11,623
It's Reagan.
Or is it Suzi?

331
00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:13,391
Oh, Jewish God, why do you
hate me? Clean up the floor!

332
00:13:13,393 --> 00:13:14,459
Okay, yeah.
She is the one

333
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:16,127
who has to explain herself.

334
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,396
Let her come in here.
You have gone full Nick, Cece.

335
00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:20,064
What does that mean?
She's bought into your nonsense!

336
00:13:20,066 --> 00:13:21,833
Enough. I'm very disappointed
with you.

337
00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:23,835
Put this down. I'll-I'll fold it.
I just picked it up!

338
00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:25,303
You don't know
what you're doing.

339
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:26,738
Hey, Reagan, come in here!
No, no, Reagan!

340
00:13:26,740 --> 00:13:28,406
Don't come in here! There's
a possum in here!

341
00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:29,474
Don't come in here,
'cause there's...

342
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,783
What do you mean, Reagan wants
to break up with me?

343
00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:39,984
Who are you?

344
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:41,352
I'm her roommate.
Oh, so she sent

345
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:43,755
her roommate
to break up with me?

346
00:13:43,757 --> 00:13:45,957
Now I have no more questions.

347
00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:48,693
Great. Then I'm out. Blessings.

348
00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:55,533
Okay, look, um,

349
00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:58,136
I know this
is not ideal.

350
00:13:58,138 --> 00:13:59,771
But if I'm being honest,
she's got a lot

351
00:13:59,773 --> 00:14:01,506
of work to do emotionally.
Are you really

352
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,141
gonna let her get away
with this?

353
00:14:03,143 --> 00:14:05,643
You must know
how this makes me feel.

354
00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:07,946
You've clearly been dumped
many times.

355
00:14:07,948 --> 00:14:09,781
Why do people keep saying that?

356
00:14:09,783 --> 00:14:10,782
You ordered a Shirley Temple.

357
00:14:10,784 --> 00:14:12,116
It's a virgin Denzel.

358
00:14:12,118 --> 00:14:13,484
If she wants to dump me,

359
00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:15,620
she should man up
and look me in the eye.

360
00:14:15,622 --> 00:14:17,822
You know what, she should have,
and I told her that.

361
00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:19,157
It's the least
she could have done.

362
00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:20,558
Hey, you're preaching
to the choir.

363
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,360
Ask me how many times
I've been dumped.

364
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:25,663
I don't have the... 47 times.
And once on my birthday.

365
00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:28,066
And out of that 47 times
and once on my birthday,

366
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:29,968
do you know what part hurts
the most?

367
00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:32,170
Getting bailed on.
Getting bailed on.

368
00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:34,639
Why do people think
they can just disappear on you?

369
00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:36,474
They're not thinking at all.
Except of themselves.

370
00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:38,243
Let's go find her.

371
00:14:38,245 --> 00:14:40,478
Hell yeah. Ooh, wait, wait,
wait, I just thought about it,

372
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,380
and that's not a good idea.
Where is she?

373
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:43,648
How you... how you know
I know where she at?

374
00:14:43,650 --> 00:14:45,650
You said you're roommates.

375
00:14:45,652 --> 00:14:46,885
Damn.

376
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:49,420
Bitten by my own snake.

377
00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:51,489
So you all went through my room
and you each have things

378
00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:53,024
that you would like to discuss.
Is that correct?

379
00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:54,993
That's true. Yes. Chicago.

380
00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:57,528
So— the money,
the fake I.D.'s.

381
00:14:57,530 --> 00:14:59,264
I have fake I.D.'s
because hospitals hate

382
00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:01,165
pharmaceutical reps
and it gets me through the door.

383
00:15:01,167 --> 00:15:03,568
I carry Canadian cash because
I do a lot of business there

384
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,203
and I don't trust banks.

385
00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:06,237
Who does?

386
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:07,906
Okay.
All right, fine.

387
00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:11,509
What about this, though—
your son?

388
00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:13,411
He looks just like you.

389
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,179
That is me.
Wait. What?

390
00:15:15,181 --> 00:15:18,049
Oof. Rough haircut. Oh, and if
you found something in my room

391
00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:19,851
that kind of looks like
a hollowed-out hand,

392
00:15:19,853 --> 00:15:21,786
that's a glove.

393
00:15:21,788 --> 00:15:24,289
So I went full Nick, huh?
Yes, you went full Nick.

394
00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:25,790
Right, yeah,
I see that now.

395
00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:28,259
I'm full Nick every day.
Imagine how that feels.

396
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:32,463
We all owe you an apology for...
pretty much everything.

397
00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:34,399
I'm sorry that
we went through your room.

398
00:15:34,401 --> 00:15:36,034
Well, that's not
what I'm upset about. I mean,

399
00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:37,735
I went through all of your rooms
when I first moved in.

400
00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:39,270
Excuse me? Wait, you
went through our rooms?

401
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,306
Oh, no. How else am I
supposed to get to know you?

402
00:15:41,308 --> 00:15:43,107
But the point is I didn't
jump to conclusions.

403
00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:46,044
I mean, Nick has a two-by-four
in his room with a nail in it.

404
00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:47,879
I didn't assume
he was building a human cage.

405
00:15:47,881 --> 00:15:49,314
I'm building a tree house.

406
00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:50,882
You're doing wha...
you're building a tree house?

407
00:15:50,884 --> 00:15:53,084
Well, why am I not involved?
Why is Cece not involved?

408
00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:54,652
We want to be involved.
Oh, I'm involved.

409
00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:56,220
So's Winston.
What?

410
00:15:56,222 --> 00:15:58,556
Everyone's involved
in the tree house but I?

411
00:15:58,558 --> 00:16:00,825
Forget about it.
Reagan, how would you like

412
00:16:00,827 --> 00:16:02,727
to build a tree house with me?
No.

413
00:16:02,729 --> 00:16:04,629
Reagan, we already got plans,
we already got a two-by-four.

414
00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:06,564
No. I feel like we are
really off-topic here.

415
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:08,099
What I'm trying to say is:

416
00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:10,001
Why did you just assume
that I'm a criminal?

417
00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:13,471
Well, because these two
are paranoid maniacs.

418
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:16,507
Who apparently are building
a tree house together.

419
00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:18,009
Not apparently. We are.
Mm-hmm.

420
00:16:18,011 --> 00:16:20,144
On the other hand,

421
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:21,813
we hardly know
anything about you.

422
00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:24,148
Oh, my God. Okay,
that's what this is about?

423
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:26,250
Look, I'm-I'm only gonna
be here for a few weeks.

424
00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:28,186
There is no reason to get
all emotionally involved.

425
00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:31,022
Let's just keep it clean,
and that way nobody gets upset.

426
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:33,424
I am so upset right now.

427
00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:35,026
Uh, let me get
ahead of this, roomie.

428
00:16:35,028 --> 00:16:37,862
I did not help out today.

429
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:44,335
Camilla.

430
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:45,536
Hi, baby, hi.

431
00:16:45,538 --> 00:16:47,472
What are you doing here?
Cut the crap.

432
00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:49,640
Why?
You sent him to dump me?

433
00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:52,310
No.
To dump you?

434
00:16:52,312 --> 00:16:54,812
No. Why would I do that...
Why would you do that?

435
00:16:54,814 --> 00:16:56,180
What the hell, man?
That is crazy.

436
00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:57,382
Why would anyone do that?

437
00:16:57,384 --> 00:16:58,883
What's wrong with you?

438
00:16:58,885 --> 00:17:00,151
Tell the truth,
you sneaky woman.

439
00:17:00,153 --> 00:17:02,186
Reagan, are you
dumping me or not?

440
00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:03,454
No.

441
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:07,925
Kind of.

442
00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:11,662
Look, Camilla, I, uh...

443
00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:13,765
I don't want to...
I don't want to hurt you.

444
00:17:15,001 --> 00:17:16,968
Just say it.

445
00:17:19,005 --> 00:17:21,139
Okay.

446
00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:23,207
The truth is...

447
00:17:26,980 --> 00:17:28,579
that I'm a criminal.

448
00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:30,581
What?
I'm a criminal.

449
00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:32,650
You shouldn't be with me.
I'm disgusting.

450
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:33,885
Things I've done.

451
00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:35,586
Things I'm
capable of.

452
00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:37,255
Hard life, short life—
I probably won't live that long.

453
00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:38,389
I can't believe this.

454
00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:41,726
She's a criminal.

455
00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:42,727
Filthy.

456
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:44,996
Disgusting crimes.

457
00:17:44,998 --> 00:17:47,732
One of the worst human beings I've
ever met in my life. And who are you?

458
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,200
I'm her,
uh, co-criminal.

459
00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:51,702
Co-gangster.
We run the streets together.

460
00:17:51,704 --> 00:17:53,704
From Bangkok to Chicago
to here.

461
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:55,273
Just murdering people.

462
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:57,542
My name is Nick. On the
streets, they call me, uh...

463
00:17:57,544 --> 00:17:59,243
Sharky.
Sharky, that's right.

464
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:01,612
'Cause I attack
from beneath up.

465
00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:03,414
It's all true, Camilla.

466
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,950
And her name is not Reagan.

467
00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:08,119
It's Suzi Shimizu.

468
00:18:09,923 --> 00:18:11,923
You're Japanese?
Very much so.

469
00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:14,058
We happen... we happen
to all be Japanese.

470
00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:17,895
The unlucky offspring of a
couple very lucky American GIs.

471
00:18:17,897 --> 00:18:19,197
Unnecessary backstory.
Yeah, they call me

472
00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:20,565
the Moyel on the streets,

473
00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:21,899
'cause I will, uh...

474
00:18:21,901 --> 00:18:23,768
cut your penis off.

475
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:25,436
Isn't that right, Sharky?
You're on your own, Moyel.

476
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,271
And they call me Cece,

477
00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:31,142
but spelled S-I-S-I,

478
00:18:31,144 --> 00:18:34,245
with an accent
over the last I.

479
00:18:34,247 --> 00:18:36,581
I am spinning out here, Moyel.
You got to help me.

480
00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:38,983
Why don't you go spin all
the way over to your tree house?

481
00:18:38,985 --> 00:18:41,319
Schmidt knows about the tree house?
Okay, what the hell is going on?

482
00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:43,287
Winston, check for a wire—
she could be a rat.

483
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:45,756
Stop it.
This isn't real.

484
00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:48,126
You're telling us we're not
a Japanese crime family?

485
00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:50,995
Reagan, tell me the truth.
Reagan, seriously,

486
00:18:50,997 --> 00:18:52,830
just stop bailing.

487
00:18:57,770 --> 00:19:00,171
I'll just go.

488
00:19:02,609 --> 00:19:04,142
Camilla, wait.

489
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:07,778
Look...

490
00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:13,484
This isn't working out.

491
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:16,587
But I think that it's my fault.

492
00:19:16,589 --> 00:19:19,023
Because I don't let people in.

493
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:22,793
I'm sorry.

494
00:19:22,795 --> 00:19:26,397
I think that you deserve
a lot better than that.

495
00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:29,967
Thank you.

496
00:19:29,969 --> 00:19:32,370
I know that wasn't easy for you.

497
00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:41,279
Okay, well, I'm gonna take off.

498
00:19:43,650 --> 00:19:46,317
Do you, um, still have
my blue sweater? Yes.

499
00:19:46,319 --> 00:19:47,534
Oh, no, no, no... Uh,
it's right in my room.

500
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:48,652
Right here, in the first door.

501
00:19:48,654 --> 00:19:50,521
Right there. Okay, thanks.

502
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,623
Oh, no, no.
That's nice.

503
00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:54,158
Telling the truth works.

504
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:55,793
Yeah, it did.

505
00:19:55,795 --> 00:19:57,195
Good job. Wait,
wait, wait, wait for it.

506
00:19:57,197 --> 00:19:59,330
Freaking bitch!

507
00:19:59,332 --> 00:20:01,732
I hate you!
I hate you so much!

508
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:03,367
Oh.
Yeah, it's the old

509
00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:05,536
"I left my sweater" trick.

510
00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,004
Let me tell you
something, folks,

511
00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:08,573
I've played that
song before.

512
00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:10,174
All right, well, this
obviously turned out to be

513
00:20:10,176 --> 00:20:11,909
a huge disaster.
I hate you so much!

514
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:14,011
But... thank you. Try sleeping
on an upside down bed!

515
00:20:14,013 --> 00:20:15,146
I'm proud of you.

516
00:20:15,148 --> 00:20:16,714
All of you—
I mean, you guys

517
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,549
could've bailed on me,
but you didn't.

518
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,151
You stuck around,
and you helped me

519
00:20:20,153 --> 00:20:21,485
lie to a psychotic woman

520
00:20:21,487 --> 00:20:23,421
who is now destroying
all of my stuff.

521
00:20:25,325 --> 00:20:26,724
Anything to help.
It's kind of what we do.

522
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:30,194
It's how we roll.

523
00:20:30,196 --> 00:20:32,563
How do you think she's taking it?
What's with all these ribbons?

524
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:33,731
How long do you think
she's gonna be in there?

525
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,166
I like to do about 15.

526
00:20:35,168 --> 00:20:37,535
You are never
gonna forget me!

527
00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:40,671
You are never gonna
forget Camilla!

528
00:20:40,673 --> 00:20:42,773
So, what'd you bring us
for dinner?

529
00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:44,175
How about this one?

530
00:20:44,177 --> 00:20:48,879
Are you ready to...
soak Mama's beans?

531
00:20:48,881 --> 00:20:50,581
It's working, right?
Okay, shh. I love you.

532
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,750
Yeah, I love you, too. I love you.
Let's not talk.

533
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:53,751
Okay.

534
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,754
Nick!

535
00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:58,689
What?
You still can't eat

536
00:20:58,691 --> 00:21:00,057
in front of Reagan?
This has nothing to do

537
00:21:00,059 --> 00:21:01,692
with Reagan.
I... I've just gotten

538
00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:03,694
used to eating in here.
It's cozy.

539
00:21:03,696 --> 00:21:05,363
Why, what are you guys up to?

540
00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:07,465
What?

541
00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:10,034
Can I come in?
My room is trashed.

542
00:21:10,036 --> 00:21:11,369
This is where we eat, right?

543
00:21:11,371 --> 00:21:13,204
Yes, please, please, please.

544
00:21:13,206 --> 00:21:14,705
Might as well.
I mean, sure, why not?

545
00:21:22,582 --> 00:21:23,814
What?

546
00:21:23,816 --> 00:21:25,383
I like the way
you eat a burrito.

547
00:21:25,385 --> 00:21:26,417
Thanks.

548
00:21:26,419 --> 00:21:27,418
You're welcome.

549
00:21:27,420 --> 00:21:29,320
Buenos noches!

550
00:21:30,923 --> 00:21:32,089
Aah!
Oh!

551
00:21:32,091 --> 00:21:33,924
Winston!
Oh... oh...

552
00:21:33,926 --> 00:21:35,960
All over the bed?

553
00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:37,561
I didn't get
my huevos on you, did I?

554
00:21:37,563 --> 00:21:38,996
Close your robe!
Okay.

555
00:21:38,998 --> 00:21:41,032
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH