1 00:00:01,173 --> 00:00:03,634 A record heat wave is melting Los Angeles, 2 00:00:03,717 --> 00:00:06,345 sparking chaos in stores across the Southland. 3 00:00:06,428 --> 00:00:07,489 Riot police have been summoned… 4 00:00:07,513 --> 00:00:08,615 - Oh, damn. - …To several locations… 5 00:00:08,639 --> 00:00:09,890 This heat is untenable. 6 00:00:09,973 --> 00:00:12,059 It's like a Jewfro apocalypse in here. 7 00:00:12,142 --> 00:00:14,353 I look like a '70s divorce attorney. 8 00:00:14,436 --> 00:00:16,772 So we don't have A/C. 9 00:00:18,524 --> 00:00:19,942 You guys are going to love this. 10 00:00:20,025 --> 00:00:22,277 I invented something even better. 11 00:00:22,361 --> 00:00:24,780 It's called the Ranch System. 12 00:00:24,863 --> 00:00:26,365 The Ranch System for Cooling. 13 00:00:26,448 --> 00:00:28,117 This is one of my best inventions. 14 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:29,960 Reagan's going to freak out when she sees it. 15 00:00:29,993 --> 00:00:32,746 Check it out. We've got a combination of cool winds, 16 00:00:32,830 --> 00:00:34,748 a cool, chilly pond, 17 00:00:34,832 --> 00:00:36,726 you wear white jeans 'cause they don't absorb heat, 18 00:00:36,750 --> 00:00:38,350 that's actually science, I did research. 19 00:00:38,419 --> 00:00:40,146 You know, science aside, man, you working those jeans. 20 00:00:40,170 --> 00:00:41,231 Oh, thanks for saying that, man. 21 00:00:41,255 --> 00:00:42,315 I was insecure about the way they looked. 22 00:00:42,339 --> 00:00:44,717 - You killing it, man. - Hey, guys. How are you doing? 23 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:46,719 Well, everything here looks normal. 24 00:00:46,802 --> 00:00:48,220 Welcome to The Ranch. 25 00:00:48,303 --> 00:00:49,364 I don't know what that means. 26 00:00:49,388 --> 00:00:50,514 Have a seat. 27 00:00:50,597 --> 00:00:51,849 Why would I do that? 28 00:00:51,932 --> 00:00:53,201 It'll cool you right off. You'll love it. 29 00:00:53,225 --> 00:00:55,519 Ooh. Is that chair supposed to be wet? 30 00:00:55,602 --> 00:00:56,812 - It is. - I… 31 00:00:56,895 --> 00:00:58,021 Okay. 32 00:00:59,398 --> 00:01:02,776 And away we… cool! 33 00:01:02,860 --> 00:01:04,486 Check it out! 34 00:01:04,570 --> 00:01:07,090 Feels like somebody is learning to whistle very close to my face. 35 00:01:07,114 --> 00:01:08,115 That's right, it does. 36 00:01:08,198 --> 00:01:09,408 She said it feels like 37 00:01:09,491 --> 00:01:10,885 someone's whistling close to her face! 38 00:01:10,909 --> 00:01:11,952 I never thought of that. 39 00:01:12,035 --> 00:01:13,162 It's another plus. 40 00:01:13,245 --> 00:01:14,329 No. 41 00:01:14,413 --> 00:01:15,622 No, it's not. 42 00:01:15,706 --> 00:01:16,749 But I have a better idea. 43 00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:19,668 Why don't we all cool off… 44 00:01:19,752 --> 00:01:21,438 With the brand-new air conditioner that I bought? 45 00:01:21,462 --> 00:01:22,463 - Son of a… - Yes! 46 00:01:22,546 --> 00:01:24,131 - What? - A/C! 47 00:01:24,214 --> 00:01:27,134 - Oh, damn. - Oh, it was so hot. 48 00:01:27,217 --> 00:01:29,428 - Oh, yeah, this is wet. - Having A/C. 49 00:01:29,511 --> 00:01:31,138 That's sweat from my bottom. 50 00:01:35,434 --> 00:01:36,810 This is amazing. 51 00:01:36,894 --> 00:01:38,496 Thank you, Reagan. Finally, we can stop living 52 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:39,855 like people in a beer commercial. 53 00:01:39,938 --> 00:01:42,483 - Before the beer shows up. - How did you pull this off? 54 00:01:42,733 --> 00:01:44,919 It's not a big deal. That whole riot thing's really overblown. 55 00:01:44,943 --> 00:01:47,446 Get the hell back! 56 00:01:47,529 --> 00:01:49,948 I will be putting the A/C in my room and everyone is welcome. 57 00:01:50,032 --> 00:01:51,283 No, thank you. We're good. 58 00:01:51,366 --> 00:01:52,367 I speak for all of us. 59 00:01:52,451 --> 00:01:54,078 Okay. 60 00:01:54,161 --> 00:01:55,221 Well, we are observing gym rules, 61 00:01:55,245 --> 00:01:57,405 so make sure you wipe down anything you plan to sit on. 62 00:01:59,875 --> 00:02:00,876 Whatever. 63 00:02:00,959 --> 00:02:02,169 More breeze for us. 64 00:02:02,252 --> 00:02:04,963 I'm gonna grab some old underpants and I'll put a pair 65 00:02:05,047 --> 00:02:06,465 in the freezer for each of you. 66 00:02:06,548 --> 00:02:09,051 Trust me, I'm wearing frozen underwear right now, 67 00:02:09,134 --> 00:02:11,095 and I feel amazing. 68 00:02:11,178 --> 00:02:13,555 So, I'm in good shape. 69 00:02:13,639 --> 00:02:14,640 - Cece? - Mmm. 70 00:02:14,723 --> 00:02:17,059 I think maybe you should go… go hang out by the A/C. 71 00:02:17,142 --> 00:02:19,478 Cece's got a big audition today to be a reporter. 72 00:02:19,686 --> 00:02:21,688 She's been taking broadcasting classes. 73 00:02:21,772 --> 00:02:23,273 Any way you slice it, 74 00:02:23,357 --> 00:02:26,193 that cafeteria pizza is a great deal. 75 00:02:26,276 --> 00:02:28,529 You know, in fact, I'm getting a little hungry myself. 76 00:02:28,612 --> 00:02:29,905 How about you, Carl? 77 00:02:31,532 --> 00:02:34,201 I thought the next thing I was supposed to talk about 78 00:02:34,284 --> 00:02:36,245 was the rain. 79 00:02:36,328 --> 00:02:37,329 It is, Carl. 80 00:02:37,413 --> 00:02:39,456 I was just having a little banter. 81 00:02:39,832 --> 00:02:41,041 Oh. 82 00:02:41,125 --> 00:02:42,876 Um… 83 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:45,087 I… uh, I had a sandwich 84 00:02:45,170 --> 00:02:47,047 so… I'm full. 85 00:02:47,339 --> 00:02:50,092 The audition's just for gas station TV, okay? 86 00:02:50,175 --> 00:02:51,301 Nobody watches it. 87 00:02:51,385 --> 00:02:52,678 Don't you dare downplay it. 88 00:02:52,761 --> 00:02:54,304 I adore gas station television, 89 00:02:54,388 --> 00:02:56,098 I mean, myself, personally. 90 00:02:56,181 --> 00:02:58,267 It is the intersection between information 91 00:02:58,350 --> 00:02:59,727 and also gas. 92 00:02:59,810 --> 00:03:01,270 That's right. Cece, today it's gas, 93 00:03:01,353 --> 00:03:02,688 tomorrow, it's local news. 94 00:03:02,771 --> 00:03:05,941 The next thing you know, you're reporting diabetes statistics 95 00:03:06,024 --> 00:03:07,234 as we all watch B-roll 96 00:03:07,317 --> 00:03:08,795 of fat people walking across the street. 97 00:03:08,819 --> 00:03:10,279 I just, I don't… 98 00:03:10,362 --> 00:03:12,006 I don't think I'm gonna go to the audition. 99 00:03:12,030 --> 00:03:13,157 'Cause it's… 100 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:14,450 It's just so hot. 101 00:03:14,533 --> 00:03:16,535 You know? 102 00:03:17,703 --> 00:03:18,954 Okay. 103 00:03:19,037 --> 00:03:20,497 Um… 104 00:03:20,706 --> 00:03:22,124 Yeah, I mean, that's… that's cool. 105 00:03:22,207 --> 00:03:24,209 Just… Look, I love you no matter what. 106 00:03:24,418 --> 00:03:25,753 Go cool off. 107 00:03:25,836 --> 00:03:27,504 - All right. - All right. 108 00:03:28,338 --> 00:03:29,715 Can I talk to you for a second? 109 00:03:29,798 --> 00:03:31,759 What the hell was all that coddling? 110 00:03:31,884 --> 00:03:33,684 - What are you, a big-bosomed grandma? - Whoa. 111 00:03:33,761 --> 00:03:34,970 Tough love! Make her go! 112 00:03:35,054 --> 00:03:36,096 Don't tell me what to do! 113 00:03:36,180 --> 00:03:38,348 I'm her fiancé, not some schnook off the street 114 00:03:38,432 --> 00:03:39,725 eating a peanut butter cookie. 115 00:03:40,225 --> 00:03:42,436 It's my job to give her love and support. 116 00:03:42,519 --> 00:03:44,199 That's how I get her to go to the audition. 117 00:03:44,229 --> 00:03:47,149 As a cop, do you think I would get anyone to do anything 118 00:03:47,232 --> 00:03:48,672 if I were being kind and supportive? 119 00:03:48,734 --> 00:03:50,194 Hell no! 120 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,404 Look, I have recently found my cop voice 121 00:03:52,488 --> 00:03:54,573 and I'll tell you this, it is very effective. 122 00:03:54,656 --> 00:03:56,426 Is that what you've been practicing in the bathroom? 123 00:03:56,450 --> 00:03:57,493 Everybody stop! 124 00:03:58,077 --> 00:03:59,369 Make a left turn! 125 00:03:59,453 --> 00:04:02,372 You have the right to remain silent! You… 126 00:04:02,456 --> 00:04:03,999 Freeze! Nah. 127 00:04:04,083 --> 00:04:05,375 Three hundred 128 00:04:05,459 --> 00:04:08,170 and three thousand thelonious thistles… 129 00:04:08,253 --> 00:04:09,533 Handcuffs, handcuffs, handcuffs. 130 00:04:09,588 --> 00:04:11,232 Handcuffs, handcuffs, handcuffs, handcuffs. 131 00:04:11,256 --> 00:04:13,384 - Freeze! - Ooh, ooh. 132 00:04:13,467 --> 00:04:15,302 Down on the ground, 133 00:04:15,386 --> 00:04:17,554 fugitive of the law. 134 00:04:17,638 --> 00:04:18,698 Handcuffs, handcuffs, handcuffs, handcuffs. 135 00:04:18,722 --> 00:04:19,723 Handcuffs, handcuffs. 136 00:04:19,807 --> 00:04:20,867 Those were just my warmups. 137 00:04:20,891 --> 00:04:22,142 My point is this, man. 138 00:04:22,226 --> 00:04:24,353 You can't hug and kiss Cece into doing anything. 139 00:04:24,436 --> 00:04:25,979 Your mind would melt if you knew 140 00:04:26,063 --> 00:04:27,815 what I've hugged and kissed Cece into doing. 141 00:04:27,898 --> 00:04:29,316 Stay out of it, Winston. 142 00:04:33,070 --> 00:04:34,571 My guys. 143 00:04:34,655 --> 00:04:36,782 Hey, who needs Reagan's A/C, right? 144 00:04:36,865 --> 00:04:37,866 Here. 145 00:04:38,117 --> 00:04:40,398 Put some of my old underwear on your face. It feels great. 146 00:04:40,452 --> 00:04:41,537 Oh, Nick… 147 00:04:41,620 --> 00:04:43,038 You're gonna make a great dad. 148 00:04:43,789 --> 00:04:44,832 I'll see you later. 149 00:04:44,915 --> 00:04:46,208 Okay. 150 00:04:46,291 --> 00:04:47,418 Hey! Who needs him, huh? 151 00:04:47,501 --> 00:04:48,961 - Yeah. - We got each other. 152 00:04:49,044 --> 00:04:50,146 - Yeah. - We've been through worse. 153 00:04:50,170 --> 00:04:51,422 - Chicago! - Chicago! 154 00:04:51,505 --> 00:04:53,799 City of soup, you know? 155 00:04:53,882 --> 00:04:54,883 Yes, sir. 156 00:04:54,967 --> 00:04:56,218 So I'm gonna go take a shower. 157 00:04:56,301 --> 00:04:57,404 I'll be back in a hot minute. 158 00:04:57,428 --> 00:04:59,763 Or, as we say on a day like today 159 00:05:02,558 --> 00:05:04,643 - a minute. - That's great, man. 160 00:05:04,727 --> 00:05:05,787 - That's chill, that's chill. - That's great. 161 00:05:05,811 --> 00:05:06,871 Thanks for taking my back today. 162 00:05:06,895 --> 00:05:08,206 - I'll see you in a sec. - All right, all right. 163 00:05:08,230 --> 00:05:10,430 - You and me, all day. You and me. - Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah. 164 00:05:12,025 --> 00:05:14,111 Look who it is! What happened? 165 00:05:14,194 --> 00:05:17,072 The A/C fall over and squish Winston's cat? 166 00:05:17,156 --> 00:05:19,050 Oh, my God, please don't tell me that happened. I would die. 167 00:05:19,074 --> 00:05:21,928 I just came out here to tell you that it's actually really nice in there. 168 00:05:21,952 --> 00:05:23,012 It's really nice right here, 169 00:05:23,036 --> 00:05:24,246 with my underpants on my face. 170 00:05:24,329 --> 00:05:26,081 I think maybe you should stop pouting 171 00:05:26,165 --> 00:05:28,584 because I didn't like whatever this is. 172 00:05:28,709 --> 00:05:30,002 Wait, what? 173 00:05:31,253 --> 00:05:33,881 Why would I care if you, specifically, didn't like it? 174 00:05:34,631 --> 00:05:36,467 Nick. 175 00:05:36,550 --> 00:05:37,801 Reagan. 176 00:05:38,802 --> 00:05:40,054 Nick, come on. 177 00:05:40,137 --> 00:05:41,263 You want to go there? 178 00:05:41,346 --> 00:05:42,973 I want to go where? 179 00:05:45,434 --> 00:05:47,603 What are you talking about? 180 00:05:47,686 --> 00:05:49,146 You wanted to impress me 181 00:05:49,229 --> 00:05:51,023 because you have a crush on me. 182 00:05:54,401 --> 00:05:56,153 It's nice to get a good laugh in this heat. 183 00:05:58,197 --> 00:05:59,448 I need a laugh. 184 00:05:59,531 --> 00:06:01,325 It's too hot not to laugh. 185 00:06:01,408 --> 00:06:02,409 Lord knows it! 186 00:06:02,493 --> 00:06:04,286 You do. 187 00:06:04,828 --> 00:06:06,789 I don't have a crush on you. 188 00:06:06,872 --> 00:06:08,207 You're very conceited. 189 00:06:08,332 --> 00:06:10,375 And I don't mean to burst your bubble here, missy, 190 00:06:10,459 --> 00:06:13,003 but I am not out here 191 00:06:13,087 --> 00:06:16,048 because of my "so-called crush on you," 192 00:06:16,382 --> 00:06:17,841 "based on my actions" 193 00:06:17,925 --> 00:06:19,778 "that led you to believe I have a crush on you." 194 00:06:19,802 --> 00:06:20,928 I am out here 195 00:06:21,011 --> 00:06:22,513 because I have never been 196 00:06:22,596 --> 00:06:25,140 more comfortable in my entire life. 197 00:06:25,224 --> 00:06:27,101 Okay, you know what? Just go get! 198 00:06:27,184 --> 00:06:29,311 Winston and I don't need you, sister. 199 00:06:29,395 --> 00:06:31,146 Oh, you mean Winston, like, this Winston? 200 00:06:31,522 --> 00:06:33,232 What do you mean, like this… 201 00:06:35,359 --> 00:06:36,360 Oh, Winston. 202 00:06:36,610 --> 00:06:38,028 I'm really sorry. 203 00:06:38,612 --> 00:06:40,447 It's fine, it's fine. Who needs you? 204 00:06:40,531 --> 00:06:42,133 'Cause the hottest part of the day is already over. 205 00:06:42,157 --> 00:06:43,200 It's 9:30 in the morning. 206 00:06:43,283 --> 00:06:44,284 Then tell me this, 207 00:06:44,368 --> 00:06:45,828 why did I just eat lunch? 208 00:06:47,454 --> 00:06:48,705 Why did I just eat lunch? 209 00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:54,169 Another guy just collapsed out there. 210 00:06:55,754 --> 00:06:58,132 But the Good Samaritan to the rescue! 211 00:06:58,340 --> 00:07:01,385 Oh, damn. Good Samaritan just collapsed. 212 00:07:03,178 --> 00:07:06,432 And UPS guy to the rescue! 213 00:07:06,515 --> 00:07:09,393 And the UPS guy just collapsed. 214 00:07:09,476 --> 00:07:13,480 Ah, lady stealing packages… 215 00:07:14,106 --> 00:07:15,357 Ah… 216 00:07:15,441 --> 00:07:17,985 Oh! And the lady just collapsed. 217 00:07:18,152 --> 00:07:20,612 Whoo. You know, I'm actually kind of getting chilly in here. 218 00:07:20,696 --> 00:07:21,697 Look, guys. 219 00:07:21,780 --> 00:07:23,824 I got this box of Jess' weird old ski clothes. 220 00:07:23,949 --> 00:07:25,451 - Oh! - Ooh… 221 00:07:26,744 --> 00:07:27,953 Hello, 1989. 222 00:07:28,036 --> 00:07:29,037 Check me out, 223 00:07:29,121 --> 00:07:30,706 I'm Picabo Street. 224 00:07:30,789 --> 00:07:32,642 - You know who that is, right? - I don't know who that is. 225 00:07:32,666 --> 00:07:34,126 Real apres-ski vibe. 226 00:07:34,209 --> 00:07:35,878 I feel like I'm in Gstaad. 227 00:07:35,961 --> 00:07:37,121 Gstaad's all about apres-ski. 228 00:07:37,171 --> 00:07:38,440 Well, it's nice in the summer, too. 229 00:07:38,464 --> 00:07:40,257 - Oh, have you been? - Have you? 230 00:07:40,340 --> 00:07:41,592 Have you? 231 00:07:41,675 --> 00:07:43,218 Have you been, is the real question. 232 00:07:44,178 --> 00:07:45,554 Have… have you been to Gstaad? 233 00:07:45,637 --> 00:07:46,948 What does it matter? Just tell the truth. 234 00:07:46,972 --> 00:07:48,241 Have you been there? Have you been there? 235 00:07:48,265 --> 00:07:49,868 - I'm sorry, have you? - No, I haven't been there. 236 00:07:49,892 --> 00:07:51,477 - Well… - Should I be ashamed of that, 237 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:53,020 or can we all just tell the truth 238 00:07:53,103 --> 00:07:54,813 about whether we've been to… "Shtaad." 239 00:07:54,897 --> 00:07:56,732 Please. It's "Gstaad." 240 00:07:56,815 --> 00:07:58,108 - Shaad. - Shtaad. 241 00:07:58,192 --> 00:07:59,752 No one in this room has been to Gstaad. 242 00:08:00,235 --> 00:08:01,487 Yeah, one more fan. 243 00:08:01,570 --> 00:08:02,905 Just a little closer. 244 00:08:02,988 --> 00:08:04,615 Okay, that'll do it. 245 00:08:04,740 --> 00:08:07,076 You guys are suckers in there! This is great! 246 00:08:07,159 --> 00:08:08,399 Should we be worried about him? 247 00:08:08,452 --> 00:08:10,346 Worried about Nick? Oh, no, this is just what he does. 248 00:08:10,370 --> 00:08:12,140 Okay, but being exposed to the heat for that long 249 00:08:12,164 --> 00:08:13,290 is actually super-dangerous, 250 00:08:13,373 --> 00:08:16,460 so… maybe I should go reason with him. 251 00:08:18,253 --> 00:08:19,463 "Reason." 252 00:08:19,546 --> 00:08:22,424 Please excuse our immediate but correct response. 253 00:08:25,636 --> 00:08:26,845 Oh, hey, hey. 254 00:08:27,054 --> 00:08:28,934 Please just come into my room? It's right there. 255 00:08:28,972 --> 00:08:30,516 It's not even hot in reality. 256 00:08:30,599 --> 00:08:32,452 You're obviously suffering from heat exhaustion. 257 00:08:32,476 --> 00:08:34,561 It's like a crisp Vermont November. 258 00:08:34,645 --> 00:08:36,897 Apple cider, football weather. 259 00:08:36,980 --> 00:08:38,440 Don't jump in a pile of leaves. 260 00:08:38,524 --> 00:08:40,401 There might be a dead dog in there. 261 00:08:40,484 --> 00:08:41,902 You're slurring your speech. 262 00:08:41,985 --> 00:08:43,755 Soon you're gonna get dizzy, you're gonna get cramps. 263 00:08:43,779 --> 00:08:45,739 Why do you care so much, Reagan? 264 00:08:45,823 --> 00:08:48,492 Because you look like a dying man on a hospital show. 265 00:08:48,575 --> 00:08:50,661 Oh, I know why. 266 00:08:51,787 --> 00:08:53,580 Because you have a crush on me. 267 00:08:53,997 --> 00:08:56,208 - No. - Yeah. 268 00:08:56,291 --> 00:08:57,459 That's… that… 269 00:08:57,543 --> 00:08:59,545 I… You're… you're a human being 270 00:08:59,628 --> 00:09:01,922 - and I'm worried about… - You have a crush on me. 271 00:09:02,005 --> 00:09:03,424 - No. - That's why you're always 272 00:09:03,507 --> 00:09:04,508 thinking about me… 273 00:09:04,591 --> 00:09:05,735 That has nothing to do with that. 274 00:09:05,759 --> 00:09:07,177 …giving me my medicals, 275 00:09:07,261 --> 00:09:09,221 checking on me, giving me my medicals… 276 00:09:09,304 --> 00:09:11,098 You said that twice. You are hallucinating. 277 00:09:11,181 --> 00:09:14,184 No, Reagan, I'm "ha-truth-inating." 278 00:09:14,268 --> 00:09:15,745 Okay, you know what, I'm gonna have to smoke you out. 279 00:09:15,769 --> 00:09:17,187 Ooh-hoo! Smoke me out? 280 00:09:23,861 --> 00:09:25,571 Turn 'em all on, great. 281 00:09:26,989 --> 00:09:28,365 I love it hot. 282 00:09:30,784 --> 00:09:31,910 Great, turn 'em up. 283 00:09:32,119 --> 00:09:34,037 I got the sticks if you got the melons. 284 00:09:34,121 --> 00:09:35,414 Marsh-melons. 285 00:09:35,497 --> 00:09:36,790 Marshmallows. 286 00:09:36,957 --> 00:09:37,958 Sorry. 287 00:09:42,337 --> 00:09:43,881 Hey, Deborah. 288 00:09:44,006 --> 00:09:46,467 - Hey, Cece, now that… now that we're… - What? 289 00:09:46,550 --> 00:09:48,778 Now that we're in the cool, have you rethought the audition? 290 00:09:48,802 --> 00:09:49,928 Maybe you'll go now? 291 00:09:50,262 --> 00:09:51,656 I mean, either way I love you, I just… 292 00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:53,640 - Um, no. - No, okay. 293 00:09:53,724 --> 00:09:55,404 - Mmm-mmm. - Okay, I still love you though. 294 00:09:57,144 --> 00:09:58,312 You leave me with no choice. 295 00:09:58,395 --> 00:09:59,396 What are you doing? 296 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:01,148 Ma'am! I'm gonna ask that you please 297 00:10:01,231 --> 00:10:03,984 - remove your headphones now! - What? 298 00:10:04,068 --> 00:10:06,046 Do you know why I asked you to remove your headphones? 299 00:10:06,070 --> 00:10:07,130 Why are you talking so loud? 300 00:10:07,154 --> 00:10:08,882 Do you have a cranberry stuck in your ear again? 301 00:10:08,906 --> 00:10:10,657 - Winston found his cop voice. - Oh… 302 00:10:10,741 --> 00:10:13,285 Ma'am! Why are you avoiding an audition 303 00:10:13,368 --> 00:10:15,168 when you know damn well it's important to you? 304 00:10:15,204 --> 00:10:17,623 - Don't do this. - Get back in your vehicle, immediately! 305 00:10:17,706 --> 00:10:19,541 Ma'am, please answer the question. 306 00:10:19,833 --> 00:10:21,376 Why are you avoiding an audition? 307 00:10:21,460 --> 00:10:24,505 And do not say that you are not, because I know that you are, 308 00:10:24,588 --> 00:10:25,839 so tell me why! 309 00:10:27,466 --> 00:10:29,426 Why? Why? 310 00:10:30,219 --> 00:10:31,845 Why? 311 00:10:32,054 --> 00:10:33,389 Now, damn it, speak! 312 00:10:33,472 --> 00:10:34,949 What if I'm not good enough? It's my dream job, 313 00:10:34,973 --> 00:10:36,517 and what if I can't do it, okay? 314 00:10:36,683 --> 00:10:37,810 What? 315 00:10:38,394 --> 00:10:39,978 Cece, you're the most talented… 316 00:10:40,062 --> 00:10:41,397 Sir, stand down! 317 00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:43,273 Winston, you stand down. 318 00:10:43,524 --> 00:10:45,401 Go play softball against the fire department 319 00:10:45,484 --> 00:10:47,694 - or whatever it is you do. - That's not till Wednesday. 320 00:10:47,778 --> 00:10:48,963 - Honey, I was terrified. - Don't worry… don't… 321 00:10:48,987 --> 00:10:50,656 - My hands are shaking. - Block that out. 322 00:10:50,739 --> 00:10:51,883 - I'm freaking out. Yeah. - Block that out. 323 00:10:51,907 --> 00:10:54,076 Okay, let's plan a trip. Something to look forward to. 324 00:10:54,159 --> 00:10:56,036 - Yeah, that'd be great. - Mother freckles. 325 00:10:56,620 --> 00:10:58,247 Winston's wild. 326 00:10:58,789 --> 00:11:00,374 God, that was so scary. 327 00:11:00,457 --> 00:11:03,043 It was so terrible. 328 00:11:03,252 --> 00:11:04,253 It's okay. 329 00:11:09,383 --> 00:11:11,009 Can you just admit that it's hot in here? 330 00:11:11,093 --> 00:11:13,762 There's no way that you are not hot. I'm hot. 331 00:11:13,887 --> 00:11:15,824 Why are you so worried about old Nicky pots and pans? 332 00:11:15,848 --> 00:11:17,224 I don't have a crush on you. 333 00:11:17,307 --> 00:11:18,493 You have a crush on me, it's obvious. 334 00:11:18,517 --> 00:11:19,893 Why would I have a crush on you? 335 00:11:19,977 --> 00:11:23,063 You are the most stubborn, annoying, frustrating person 336 00:11:23,147 --> 00:11:24,648 I have ever met in my entire life. 337 00:11:24,732 --> 00:11:26,710 Why don't you tell that to the judge in your pants? 338 00:11:26,734 --> 00:11:28,193 Verdict's in. You're guilty. 339 00:11:29,695 --> 00:11:31,071 Where are you going? 340 00:11:31,155 --> 00:11:32,531 I'm shutting down your ranch. 341 00:11:32,614 --> 00:11:34,533 Leave my ranch out of it! 342 00:11:35,784 --> 00:11:38,078 Well, then I'm gonna do this, you idiot. 343 00:11:39,121 --> 00:11:40,914 - Whoa. - No, don't. 344 00:11:40,998 --> 00:11:42,541 - Leave it alone. - Stop. 345 00:11:43,375 --> 00:11:45,461 No, you don't… 346 00:11:48,005 --> 00:11:49,285 - What is going on? - Damn! Damn! 347 00:11:49,339 --> 00:11:50,549 Reagan, please, let… 348 00:12:02,436 --> 00:12:04,229 - Look, she's the one… - No, you're the one. 349 00:12:04,313 --> 00:12:06,193 Now, get down to the basement and fix our power. 350 00:12:06,398 --> 00:12:08,067 But the basement? There are so many rats. 351 00:12:08,150 --> 00:12:09,710 She'll probably try to make out with me. 352 00:12:09,777 --> 00:12:11,046 Please, I would rather make out with a rat. 353 00:12:11,070 --> 00:12:12,130 Gross. Did you hear what she just said? 354 00:12:12,154 --> 00:12:13,697 Stop! Go to the basement 355 00:12:13,781 --> 00:12:16,658 - and stay there until the power is fixed! - Yes, sir. 356 00:12:19,745 --> 00:12:22,164 Now, I have accidentally pressed all of the buttons, 357 00:12:22,247 --> 00:12:23,957 but you will stay on the elevator 358 00:12:24,041 --> 00:12:25,918 until you get to the basement! 359 00:12:26,376 --> 00:12:29,171 And when you get to that basement… Aw, damn… 360 00:12:32,257 --> 00:12:34,009 How is it even hotter down here? 361 00:12:34,093 --> 00:12:35,844 Because the heat stays low, you dummy. 362 00:12:35,928 --> 00:12:37,368 It's bad enough that we're down here, 363 00:12:37,429 --> 00:12:38,722 I can't explain science to you. 364 00:12:38,806 --> 00:12:40,099 I hope that the Chicago Cubs 365 00:12:40,182 --> 00:12:42,226 win the World Series while you're in a coma. 366 00:12:42,309 --> 00:12:45,562 That's one of the meanest things anybody has ever said to me. 367 00:12:45,646 --> 00:12:47,731 We are visitors, let's act like it. 368 00:12:50,651 --> 00:12:52,236 Hello, rats? 369 00:12:53,445 --> 00:12:55,322 Hello? 370 00:12:55,406 --> 00:12:57,408 I come to hurt ya. 371 00:12:59,410 --> 00:13:02,996 Okay, for those who have not been scared off, 372 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:04,748 I actually come in peace. 373 00:13:05,457 --> 00:13:06,834 My name is Nick. 374 00:13:06,917 --> 00:13:08,757 - I've been down here a lot. - Hello, Nicholas. 375 00:13:08,794 --> 00:13:10,254 I'm Jeremiah. 376 00:13:10,337 --> 00:13:11,755 - Sorry. - Why would you… 377 00:13:11,839 --> 00:13:14,383 - It's funny. - Very clever. 378 00:13:14,466 --> 00:13:15,467 You got really scared. 379 00:13:15,551 --> 00:13:16,885 I'm not so scared, 380 00:13:16,969 --> 00:13:18,345 but don't ever do that again. 381 00:13:18,429 --> 00:13:20,556 It's also a very good rat voice. 382 00:13:20,639 --> 00:13:22,433 - Thank you. - But it is a terrible rat name. 383 00:13:22,516 --> 00:13:25,185 Jeremiah? That would never be the name of a rat. 384 00:13:25,269 --> 00:13:27,187 Its name is, like, Sushi. 385 00:13:27,271 --> 00:13:28,647 Or "Ma-cushi." 386 00:13:29,481 --> 00:13:30,733 Now, follow me. 387 00:13:30,816 --> 00:13:33,777 I want to leave one set of footprints. 388 00:13:33,861 --> 00:13:35,946 That is a perfect plan, but I'm not going to do that. 389 00:13:41,452 --> 00:13:43,203 Oh, hello, old friend. 390 00:13:44,037 --> 00:13:45,456 Funny seeing you here. 391 00:13:46,540 --> 00:13:47,624 Tick-tock. 392 00:13:47,833 --> 00:13:49,460 Almost audition time. 393 00:13:50,502 --> 00:13:51,628 - Hey, Cece. - Huh? 394 00:13:52,212 --> 00:13:53,672 You know that thing you said before 395 00:13:53,756 --> 00:13:55,674 about you not being talented enough? 396 00:13:55,758 --> 00:13:56,967 You didn't mean that, right? 397 00:13:57,301 --> 00:13:58,469 Yeah, I did. 398 00:13:58,552 --> 00:14:01,013 - Newscasters are amazing. - But so are you. 399 00:14:01,096 --> 00:14:02,973 Come on, Schmidt, okay? 400 00:14:03,057 --> 00:14:04,850 I'm a bartender and a model. 401 00:14:10,773 --> 00:14:12,853 Ma'am, I'm gonna need you to step out of the vehicle. 402 00:14:12,900 --> 00:14:15,194 - Yes, do it, baby. - "Vehicle"? What vehicle? 403 00:14:15,277 --> 00:14:17,571 The metaphorical vehicle that is holding you back. 404 00:14:17,654 --> 00:14:19,215 - Oh. - Don't explain yourself. Just go with it. 405 00:14:19,239 --> 00:14:21,700 You are a brilliant, amazing woman, 406 00:14:21,784 --> 00:14:24,536 - who is capable of anything. - Okay, maybe drop the Southern accent. 407 00:14:25,079 --> 00:14:26,663 What, you got mozzarella in your ears? 408 00:14:26,747 --> 00:14:28,707 You're, uh… Get out of your own way, lady, huh? 409 00:14:28,791 --> 00:14:30,834 Uh, try, Law & Order… uh, Hargitay. 410 00:14:30,918 --> 00:14:33,045 I've got a past and it affects my job. 411 00:14:33,128 --> 00:14:35,422 And my relationships… I can't really do a Mariska. 412 00:14:35,506 --> 00:14:37,400 - What is happening here? - Cece, I know the audition 413 00:14:37,424 --> 00:14:38,425 is scary for you. 414 00:14:38,509 --> 00:14:41,845 I would not be doing my job as the man who loves you 415 00:14:41,929 --> 00:14:43,722 if I let you walk away from this. 416 00:14:44,765 --> 00:14:45,891 Don't blow it, Cece! 417 00:14:46,475 --> 00:14:48,936 You are not walking away from this opportunity! 418 00:14:50,813 --> 00:14:53,065 - Okay… - I'm gonna need less talking out of you 419 00:14:53,148 --> 00:14:54,358 and more action, damn it! 420 00:14:57,569 --> 00:14:58,570 Wow. 421 00:15:01,657 --> 00:15:02,697 Wait, no, Cece, I'm sorry. 422 00:15:02,741 --> 00:15:04,284 Did I take it too far? 423 00:15:04,368 --> 00:15:06,703 I took it too far, didn't I? Oh, God. 424 00:15:06,787 --> 00:15:07,871 It's fine. 425 00:15:07,955 --> 00:15:10,833 I have been down this road many a-times. 426 00:15:11,041 --> 00:15:12,881 She's gonna come walking back through that door 427 00:15:12,918 --> 00:15:14,878 in three, two… 428 00:15:22,428 --> 00:15:24,555 Look, Schmidt, not for nothing, 429 00:15:24,638 --> 00:15:28,100 man, you got so many good characters inside of you. 430 00:15:28,559 --> 00:15:31,353 Oh, my gosh. 431 00:15:31,562 --> 00:15:33,897 - Did you already bind the 120s? - Yeah, this should do it. 432 00:15:33,981 --> 00:15:36,692 Do what? Cook you like barbecue chicken? 433 00:15:36,775 --> 00:15:39,212 - I traced it back. It's fine. - I wouldn't do that if I were you. 434 00:15:39,236 --> 00:15:40,922 - It's not safe. - Can you admit that I might actually 435 00:15:40,946 --> 00:15:42,215 be right about something for once? 436 00:15:42,239 --> 00:15:43,907 - It's your own funeral, you win. - Great. 437 00:15:43,991 --> 00:15:44,992 - Don't do it! - Nick! 438 00:15:45,075 --> 00:15:46,386 Fine, let's just say you are right. 439 00:15:46,410 --> 00:15:47,911 Then at least let me do it, okay? 440 00:15:49,747 --> 00:15:50,914 You don't have to do that. 441 00:15:50,998 --> 00:15:53,083 I want to do it. 442 00:15:53,459 --> 00:15:56,879 I mean, I don't, like, want to do it, obviously, but… 443 00:15:57,129 --> 00:15:58,589 What if I'm wrong? 444 00:15:58,672 --> 00:16:01,072 If you think this is right, it's probably right. You've been… 445 00:16:01,508 --> 00:16:03,302 You've been right about a lot of stuff today. 446 00:16:04,094 --> 00:16:05,614 Like what? What else was I right about? 447 00:16:05,679 --> 00:16:07,365 Just a lot of stuff. I don't want to talk about what you were 448 00:16:07,389 --> 00:16:09,284 actually right about at this moment. Okay, ready? 449 00:16:09,308 --> 00:16:11,018 - Uh… - If I get burned up 450 00:16:11,101 --> 00:16:13,937 and die this way, it would be such an embarrassing way to go. 451 00:16:14,021 --> 00:16:15,731 But what would be nice about it is 452 00:16:15,814 --> 00:16:17,292 that I would technically have been right. 453 00:16:17,316 --> 00:16:18,776 Here we go. 454 00:16:19,193 --> 00:16:20,319 Heroes don't wear capes. 455 00:16:21,528 --> 00:16:24,198 No, no, no… 456 00:16:25,866 --> 00:16:27,826 Those sons of bitches did it. 457 00:16:30,287 --> 00:16:31,955 Hey, great! 458 00:16:32,039 --> 00:16:34,625 Really good. 459 00:16:35,084 --> 00:16:36,710 That was really great. 460 00:16:43,842 --> 00:16:45,594 What are you looking at? 461 00:16:45,677 --> 00:16:47,429 Huge… rat. 462 00:16:57,648 --> 00:16:59,400 No! No! No! 463 00:16:59,483 --> 00:17:01,443 This is my nightmare! 464 00:17:09,576 --> 00:17:11,245 It's time. 465 00:17:19,753 --> 00:17:21,213 How did I… 466 00:17:21,505 --> 00:17:23,424 Did you carry me out like a firefighter? 467 00:17:23,507 --> 00:17:25,342 No, you woke up right away. 468 00:17:25,426 --> 00:17:26,903 And then you were like, "Ooh, I need some fresh air." 469 00:17:26,927 --> 00:17:28,446 So we came outside, I bought you a muffin 470 00:17:28,470 --> 00:17:29,670 and then you passed out again. 471 00:17:29,722 --> 00:17:31,724 Oh, yeah, I remember that muffin. 472 00:17:31,807 --> 00:17:33,284 I feel like you had a pretty bad shock, 473 00:17:33,308 --> 00:17:35,352 so let's ask a few questions. 474 00:17:36,270 --> 00:17:37,396 What day of the week is it? 475 00:17:37,479 --> 00:17:39,481 That's not something I typically know. 476 00:17:40,649 --> 00:17:42,860 - I would guess Monday. - Okay. 477 00:17:43,193 --> 00:17:44,194 Blackout. 478 00:17:44,278 --> 00:17:45,863 ATM's are down. 479 00:17:46,363 --> 00:17:48,157 Cash is king 480 00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:49,783 and batteries is queen. 481 00:17:49,867 --> 00:17:52,369 What? Stop being so whimsical, Winston. 482 00:17:54,288 --> 00:17:55,914 Cece still hasn't called me back. 483 00:17:57,332 --> 00:17:58,917 I think I pushed her too far. 484 00:17:59,126 --> 00:18:01,503 No, Schmidt, you did the right thing, man. 485 00:18:01,587 --> 00:18:03,505 Look, people get mad at police officers 486 00:18:03,589 --> 00:18:05,549 because we tell them what they don't want to hear. 487 00:18:05,758 --> 00:18:08,844 Yet, everyone loves police officer… 488 00:18:08,927 --> 00:18:10,721 Hey, it's a blackout, 489 00:18:10,804 --> 00:18:11,847 not the Rapture! 490 00:18:11,930 --> 00:18:14,016 You yield! All right! 491 00:18:14,099 --> 00:18:16,393 Hey, hey, hey, sir, sir! 492 00:18:16,477 --> 00:18:17,912 Keep it moving! Keep it moving! Keep it moving! 493 00:18:17,936 --> 00:18:19,176 Come on, right this way, ma'am. 494 00:18:19,229 --> 00:18:21,023 Right this way, ma'am. Right this way, ma'am. 495 00:18:21,106 --> 00:18:23,233 Right that way, ma'am. Sir, go, go, go! 496 00:18:23,317 --> 00:18:24,318 We ain't got all day! 497 00:18:24,401 --> 00:18:25,402 Sir! 498 00:18:25,652 --> 00:18:27,488 - Cece. - Right this way, ma'am. 499 00:18:27,571 --> 00:18:29,466 - Right that way, ma'am. - Thank God you're here. 500 00:18:29,490 --> 00:18:31,283 Look… I'm… I'm sorry. 501 00:18:31,366 --> 00:18:33,535 Yeah, well, you should be. You really pissed me off. 502 00:18:33,619 --> 00:18:35,120 I wrote something rude on your car. 503 00:18:35,204 --> 00:18:36,622 It was that stupid cop voice. 504 00:18:36,705 --> 00:18:38,016 I shouldn't have pushed you that hard. 505 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:41,001 No, you should've. 'Cause you were right. 506 00:18:41,085 --> 00:18:43,170 I was chickening out. 507 00:18:44,588 --> 00:18:45,881 - So I went. - You did? 508 00:18:45,964 --> 00:18:47,692 - Mmm-hmm. - Well, that's amazing. How did it go? 509 00:18:47,716 --> 00:18:49,156 - Real bad. Yeah. - It went real bad? 510 00:18:49,218 --> 00:18:51,154 Okay, well, you know what? Don't worry about it, baby, I'm sure… 511 00:18:51,178 --> 00:18:52,364 - No, no, no, no. - They just didn't… 512 00:18:52,388 --> 00:18:55,099 It was, it was legitimately terrible 513 00:18:55,182 --> 00:18:58,435 but not because I'm not talented. 514 00:18:58,519 --> 00:19:00,062 I went to the bar first 515 00:19:00,145 --> 00:19:02,981 so I was wasted and wearing shorts, 516 00:19:03,065 --> 00:19:04,900 which I won't do next time. 517 00:19:06,193 --> 00:19:07,486 Thank you for pushing me. 518 00:19:07,569 --> 00:19:09,381 We need to do that kind of thing for each other. 519 00:19:09,405 --> 00:19:10,989 Yes, please. 520 00:19:11,073 --> 00:19:12,866 I agree, unless, 521 00:19:12,950 --> 00:19:15,220 of course, it's about me using face wash all over my body. 522 00:19:15,244 --> 00:19:17,955 - Ah, this again, really? - I don't care that it's expensive. 523 00:19:18,038 --> 00:19:19,891 - I know that you don't care. - I'm just gonna keep on doing it. 524 00:19:19,915 --> 00:19:22,709 Oh, ice cream truck! Oh! 525 00:19:22,876 --> 00:19:24,002 Right this way! 526 00:19:24,086 --> 00:19:25,146 Here we go, sir. Here we go, sir. 527 00:19:25,170 --> 00:19:26,922 Here we go, sir. All right, stop! 528 00:19:30,175 --> 00:19:31,593 Ice cream, man, open up. 529 00:19:32,219 --> 00:19:33,512 Where the ice cream at? 530 00:19:34,263 --> 00:19:35,556 Can I buy you some ice cream? 531 00:19:35,639 --> 00:19:38,100 First, uh, I just want to revisit that little moment 532 00:19:38,183 --> 00:19:39,623 in the basement where you were like, 533 00:19:39,685 --> 00:19:41,705 "Hey, Reagan, you've been right about a lot of stuff today." 534 00:19:41,729 --> 00:19:44,106 - Really? - Just want you to specifically tell me… 535 00:19:44,189 --> 00:19:45,667 - You are out of control. - …what I've been right about. 536 00:19:45,691 --> 00:19:47,460 You're a grown man. I just think you should be able 537 00:19:47,484 --> 00:19:49,027 - to say it. - You dick. 538 00:19:52,823 --> 00:19:54,032 I have a crush on you. 539 00:19:56,201 --> 00:19:57,870 There it is. I have a crush on you. 540 00:19:57,953 --> 00:19:59,037 Isn't that better? 541 00:19:59,121 --> 00:20:00,497 Now we can just put it behind us, 542 00:20:00,581 --> 00:20:03,459 move on, don't have to be weird. 543 00:20:03,542 --> 00:20:06,295 No, I, obviously, I know it's not gonna be a problem, Reagan. 544 00:20:06,378 --> 00:20:07,755 I don't have any illusion 545 00:20:07,838 --> 00:20:09,423 that you're gonna go for a guy like me. 546 00:20:09,506 --> 00:20:11,800 I am a total mess. I understand that. 547 00:20:12,426 --> 00:20:15,429 I mean, you're… you're beautiful, and you're smart, 548 00:20:15,512 --> 00:20:16,972 and you're mean, 549 00:20:17,931 --> 00:20:19,099 but in a hot way. 550 00:20:19,183 --> 00:20:21,518 And you have the mind of an electrician, 551 00:20:21,602 --> 00:20:24,730 which is so confusingly hot, because that is not, like, 552 00:20:24,813 --> 00:20:25,898 a sexy… 553 00:20:27,399 --> 00:20:29,401 We could both be stars. 554 00:20:29,485 --> 00:20:31,070 Yeah, who knows? 555 00:20:31,153 --> 00:20:33,197 We could fall apart. 556 00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:35,115 Yeah, who knows? 557 00:20:37,659 --> 00:20:39,453 Who knows? 558 00:20:43,499 --> 00:20:45,584 All the things that we wanna be. 559 00:20:45,667 --> 00:20:47,336 Excuse me, is your name Stephanie? 560 00:20:47,419 --> 00:20:49,630 I'm supposed to be meeting somebody here. 561 00:20:51,632 --> 00:20:53,258 It's Nick. 562 00:20:54,301 --> 00:20:56,470 So, not Stephanie. 563 00:20:56,762 --> 00:20:58,555 Hey, yo, Nick, you coming, man? 564 00:20:59,264 --> 00:21:01,767 All that we do is, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh. 565 00:21:01,850 --> 00:21:02,851 Great. 566 00:21:02,935 --> 00:21:04,269 Follow the world as it goes… 567 00:21:04,645 --> 00:21:06,522 What is this, a frozen banana, Winston? 568 00:21:06,814 --> 00:21:07,940 Okay. 569 00:21:08,649 --> 00:21:12,611 While you're gassing up, let's look at the stock merkins. 570 00:21:13,695 --> 00:21:14,780 Marts… Nope! 571 00:21:15,030 --> 00:21:17,241 Is this… is this here? 572 00:21:17,324 --> 00:21:19,410 Or is it more here? Your frame? 573 00:21:19,493 --> 00:21:20,929 Because I don't want to just be like, 574 00:21:20,953 --> 00:21:22,871 you know, a head that's like… 575 00:21:23,163 --> 00:21:25,040 Scientists have discovered 576 00:21:25,124 --> 00:21:27,835 a new kind of butter. 577 00:21:27,918 --> 00:21:30,212 Fly in the Amazon. 578 00:21:30,629 --> 00:21:32,256 What the crap does that mean? 579 00:21:32,548 --> 00:21:34,299 I'm so sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. 580 00:21:34,383 --> 00:21:35,843 You don't… 581 00:21:36,301 --> 00:21:38,762 Is this… I don't know who I borrowed this from.