1 00:00:00,235 --> 00:00:03,154 Okay, well, it's too small to be a cat hotel 2 00:00:03,238 --> 00:00:05,115 and it's too big to be pants. 3 00:00:05,323 --> 00:00:06,603 - So it's not mine. - Me neither. 4 00:00:06,658 --> 00:00:08,258 I pick up all my deliveries at the port. 5 00:00:08,326 --> 00:00:09,869 - The what? At the port? - Yeah. 6 00:00:09,953 --> 00:00:12,673 - What are you doing at the port? - Picking up my deliveries. Listen. 7 00:00:14,416 --> 00:00:15,935 You drive all the way down to the port? 8 00:00:15,959 --> 00:00:18,711 - Yes. - Well, it's not mine. I only buy local. 9 00:00:18,795 --> 00:00:21,214 Except, of course, for clothing and produce. Medication, 10 00:00:21,339 --> 00:00:23,758 - water, seasoning, meat. - Maybe it's Cece's. 11 00:00:23,842 --> 00:00:25,861 - Isn't she packing up her apartment? - It's not Cece's. 12 00:00:25,885 --> 00:00:28,030 She's packing right now, and Jess is going over there later 13 00:00:28,054 --> 00:00:31,266 to toast the place good-bye. 'Cause they're adorable. 14 00:00:31,349 --> 00:00:32,869 - Would you consider us adorable? - No, 15 00:00:33,059 --> 00:00:35,603 we're adult men. We're cute. 16 00:00:36,312 --> 00:00:37,939 Oh, hey! 17 00:00:38,022 --> 00:00:39,941 My box is here. 18 00:00:40,024 --> 00:00:42,569 - Do you need help? - Oh… 19 00:00:42,652 --> 00:00:44,904 Yeah, I was just gonna put it… Put it down right there. 20 00:00:44,988 --> 00:00:47,282 - Awesome. - Jess, is it me, or has your job 21 00:00:47,365 --> 00:00:49,492 become a poo-poo festival? 22 00:00:49,576 --> 00:00:53,121 No, it's fine. It's just the new principal, Becky Cavatappi. 23 00:00:53,204 --> 00:00:55,415 She took over for Foster when he retired. 24 00:00:55,498 --> 00:00:59,085 I do all her work and she does all the working of her cleavage. 25 00:00:59,169 --> 00:01:01,880 But the budget's your job, Becky. 26 00:01:01,963 --> 00:01:03,798 Ah! Principal Cavatappi. 27 00:01:03,882 --> 00:01:05,300 Like I always say, 28 00:01:05,383 --> 00:01:08,011 don't call me Becky unless you're riding me like a horse. 29 00:01:09,262 --> 00:01:11,222 We work in a middle school. 30 00:01:11,848 --> 00:01:12,849 Really. 31 00:01:13,057 --> 00:01:16,644 This is the budget, or the next week of my life. 32 00:01:17,854 --> 00:01:19,314 You know what they say, 33 00:01:19,397 --> 00:01:21,983 your life is just weeks and then you die. 34 00:01:22,066 --> 00:01:23,318 Uh, Jess, 35 00:01:23,401 --> 00:01:24,628 - are you sure you're okay? - Yeah. 36 00:01:24,652 --> 00:01:26,988 I just got this for a little stress relief. 37 00:01:27,072 --> 00:01:28,740 Oh, Schmidt, 38 00:01:28,823 --> 00:01:30,575 will you be a dear and text Cece 39 00:01:30,658 --> 00:01:32,720 and tell her I'm gonna be about, like, 10 minutes late? 40 00:01:32,744 --> 00:01:33,787 - Yeah, sure. - Thanks. 41 00:01:33,870 --> 00:01:34,871 Aah! 42 00:01:36,873 --> 00:01:38,792 Becky! Becky! 43 00:01:38,875 --> 00:01:40,919 I hate you! 44 00:01:50,470 --> 00:01:51,596 - Hi! - Hello. 45 00:01:51,679 --> 00:01:53,598 Look who I brought. The French. 46 00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:55,600 Bonjour. Oh, it's Prosecco, it's Italian. 47 00:01:55,683 --> 00:01:57,268 So grazie. 48 00:01:57,560 --> 00:01:59,479 Oh, it's Polish Prosecco. 49 00:01:59,562 --> 00:02:02,440 So that's on me for buying it at a gas station. 50 00:02:02,524 --> 00:02:04,109 Long week of work ahead of me. 51 00:02:04,192 --> 00:02:06,253 - I'm looking forward to a fun night! - Okay, Jess, I should 52 00:02:06,277 --> 00:02:08,363 tell you before I… 53 00:02:08,655 --> 00:02:10,907 I know I said I was done packing, but I'm not done, 54 00:02:10,990 --> 00:02:12,802 and the reason I'm not done is because I didn't do anything, 55 00:02:12,826 --> 00:02:14,577 and I have to get out before tomorrow, 56 00:02:14,661 --> 00:02:15,781 otherwise I lose my deposit. 57 00:02:15,870 --> 00:02:17,122 - Oh, Cece. - I know. 58 00:02:17,205 --> 00:02:18,665 Cece, Cece, Cece. 59 00:02:20,917 --> 00:02:24,129 Cece, Cece, Cece, Cece, Cece… 60 00:02:25,463 --> 00:02:27,048 - Hey, guys. - Hey, Winston. 61 00:02:27,257 --> 00:02:30,218 I did it. I told Aly I need a new partner. 62 00:02:30,301 --> 00:02:31,886 What? I thought you had a crush on her. 63 00:02:31,970 --> 00:02:33,012 - Yeah. - Well, exactly. 64 00:02:33,096 --> 00:02:34,264 You know, here's the problem. 65 00:02:34,347 --> 00:02:36,683 She keeps talking about her boyfriend and his, quote, 66 00:02:36,766 --> 00:02:38,601 "ass that you want to open on Christmas." 67 00:02:38,685 --> 00:02:39,686 - What? - But it's fine. 68 00:02:40,103 --> 00:02:41,855 You know, she took it better than I thought. 69 00:02:41,938 --> 00:02:43,189 Screw you. 70 00:02:43,857 --> 00:02:44,858 Here's your crap. 71 00:02:44,941 --> 00:02:47,277 Lucky crystal, key chain fart marker, 72 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:49,320 over a hundred yogurt tops, 73 00:02:49,404 --> 00:02:50,947 your flattened penny collection, 74 00:02:51,030 --> 00:02:53,742 a signed copy of a Paul Reiser biography, 75 00:02:53,825 --> 00:02:55,243 baby carrot thumb drive, 76 00:02:55,326 --> 00:02:57,829 a picture of you and Dave Coulier, 77 00:02:57,912 --> 00:03:00,290 loose Pez, my mom's cell number, 78 00:03:00,582 --> 00:03:03,251 a ticket stub from Urinetown. 79 00:03:03,334 --> 00:03:04,669 When did you even see that? 80 00:03:06,588 --> 00:03:09,048 - Why? Why? - Oh, have you… Have you tried 'em on? 81 00:03:10,759 --> 00:03:13,094 Oh, and your Pure Mood CD. 82 00:03:13,178 --> 00:03:16,556 This thing makes me want to swim into a boat motor. 83 00:03:16,765 --> 00:03:19,225 Oh… 84 00:03:19,476 --> 00:03:21,060 New partner's here. 85 00:03:21,144 --> 00:03:24,272 Guys, as they say, when one chapter ends, 86 00:03:24,355 --> 00:03:27,108 a bridge appears, and then you cross that bridge 87 00:03:27,192 --> 00:03:29,986 and make lemonade out of a molehill. 88 00:03:30,070 --> 00:03:33,073 - Okay. - Hiya, partner. 89 00:03:33,156 --> 00:03:35,575 That's, uh, "hi" in karate. Hiya! 90 00:03:35,658 --> 00:03:37,452 That's cool. 91 00:03:38,036 --> 00:03:40,997 You don't mind if we listen to some car jams, do you? 92 00:03:41,081 --> 00:03:42,921 Well, man, let's just get right to track seven. 93 00:03:43,249 --> 00:03:44,375 Elations. 94 00:03:44,501 --> 00:03:45,543 Elations. 95 00:03:45,752 --> 00:03:46,753 Elation. 96 00:03:46,836 --> 00:03:49,089 Elation, elation -Elation. 97 00:03:53,551 --> 00:03:55,613 - I'm okay, it's fine, it's fine, yeah. - You okay, you good? 98 00:03:55,637 --> 00:03:57,114 It's not gonna end well for these two. 99 00:03:57,138 --> 00:03:58,848 I wouldn't trust him to watch a ball pit. 100 00:03:59,099 --> 00:04:01,226 Hey, could I get a cream soda? 101 00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:03,603 Dude, we both know what you're gonna do. 102 00:04:03,686 --> 00:04:05,271 Don't. It's not cool. 103 00:04:10,193 --> 00:04:11,778 What? We have a flasher. 104 00:04:15,156 --> 00:04:16,967 You know what, maybe if we get drunk, then, magically, 105 00:04:16,991 --> 00:04:18,284 everything will just happen. 106 00:04:18,368 --> 00:04:19,369 No, no. 107 00:04:19,452 --> 00:04:20,787 No drinking until you've packed. 108 00:04:20,870 --> 00:04:23,623 Look, I get that you're freaking out about moving, 109 00:04:23,706 --> 00:04:25,500 but we can do this. We need to make 110 00:04:25,583 --> 00:04:27,293 a keep pile and a toss pile, okay? 111 00:04:27,377 --> 00:04:28,920 Keep or toss, keep or toss. 112 00:04:29,003 --> 00:04:31,297 Ugh. 113 00:04:31,381 --> 00:04:34,968 Uh… Hi, Becky. Sorry, Principal Cavatappi. 114 00:04:35,051 --> 00:04:36,845 Jess, remember that binder? 115 00:04:36,928 --> 00:04:38,430 Yeah. Yup, I've got it right here. 116 00:04:38,513 --> 00:04:41,141 I'll have it done by the end of the week. 117 00:04:41,224 --> 00:04:43,601 Yeah, I mixed up the budget due date. 118 00:04:43,685 --> 00:04:44,978 I took my contacts out 119 00:04:45,061 --> 00:04:46,229 'cause they're ugly. 120 00:04:46,312 --> 00:04:47,814 So I kind of can't read stuff. 121 00:04:47,897 --> 00:04:48,898 I'll need it tomorrow. 122 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,318 Um… Uh, yeah, 123 00:04:52,402 --> 00:04:54,112 uh, but it's a week's worth of work. 124 00:04:54,195 --> 00:04:56,322 You get it done or you're fired. 125 00:04:57,323 --> 00:04:59,325 I have to do a week's worth of work in a night. 126 00:05:00,618 --> 00:05:02,162 So we got to get through this quick. 127 00:05:02,245 --> 00:05:03,913 Keep or toss, keep or toss. 128 00:05:03,997 --> 00:05:05,999 Cece, that sweatshirt has a wine stain on it 129 00:05:06,082 --> 00:05:07,834 and an off-brand Looney Tunes character. 130 00:05:07,917 --> 00:05:10,420 George Bunny? Who the hell is that? 131 00:05:10,503 --> 00:05:11,921 You're right. Keep. 132 00:05:12,005 --> 00:05:13,465 - Toss! - No, keep, keep! 133 00:05:16,342 --> 00:05:19,387 I'm calling the cops. There is a man pulling out his privates 134 00:05:19,471 --> 00:05:21,014 - in our bar. - Oh, big whoop. 135 00:05:21,097 --> 00:05:23,224 It used to be worse. It used to be more interactive. 136 00:05:23,349 --> 00:05:24,994 - What do mean, interactive? - Interactive. 137 00:05:25,018 --> 00:05:26,938 - You showed, too? - No, it was more like tennis, 138 00:05:27,020 --> 00:05:29,022 like… 139 00:05:29,105 --> 00:05:30,106 Exit. 140 00:05:30,190 --> 00:05:31,357 What's the second… 141 00:05:34,569 --> 00:05:36,279 Now it's just… 142 00:05:36,362 --> 00:05:38,198 And I'm… 143 00:05:38,364 --> 00:05:39,949 This is a problem. Winston. 144 00:05:40,033 --> 00:05:42,035 New partner is working out great, man. 145 00:05:42,118 --> 00:05:43,703 You know, we have a lot in common. 146 00:05:43,787 --> 00:05:46,414 Both have cats, both partially blind… 147 00:05:46,498 --> 00:05:47,749 Me, color, him, night. 148 00:05:47,832 --> 00:05:49,959 Well, that sounds dangerous. Winston, listen to me. 149 00:05:50,043 --> 00:05:51,729 We have some very serious police business here. 150 00:05:51,753 --> 00:05:53,713 The bar has a flasher. A strange man 151 00:05:53,797 --> 00:05:56,424 is regularly showing Nick his funky soup bone. 152 00:05:56,508 --> 00:05:57,926 I'm sure he doesn't even care. 153 00:05:58,009 --> 00:06:01,054 I care about that greatly, Nick. I will be right there. 154 00:06:02,305 --> 00:06:03,306 - Whoa, partner. - Oh, oh, 155 00:06:03,389 --> 00:06:05,558 - oh, my goodness. Hey, didn't see… - Seat's taken. 156 00:06:05,642 --> 00:06:08,322 - …the seat was taken there, Winston. - Yeah, I usually ride shotgun 157 00:06:08,394 --> 00:06:11,356 because I get motion sickness as a decision-maker. 158 00:06:11,439 --> 00:06:13,274 Yeah, well, I lose all hand strength 159 00:06:13,358 --> 00:06:15,819 with absolutely no warning. Just… 160 00:06:16,945 --> 00:06:18,279 Damn it. 161 00:06:18,363 --> 00:06:21,282 Mmm… I'm sorry, I'll be fast. Mmm… 162 00:06:23,952 --> 00:06:25,328 Mmm… 163 00:06:25,412 --> 00:06:28,123 Mmm… 164 00:06:28,873 --> 00:06:30,333 Time's up. It's a toss. 165 00:06:30,417 --> 00:06:31,751 No, that was actually an award. 166 00:06:31,835 --> 00:06:32,961 - Toss. Next. - Jessica… 167 00:06:35,088 --> 00:06:37,799 Now, okay, look, that hat has a very important memory. 168 00:06:39,259 --> 00:06:40,260 Hey. 169 00:06:40,343 --> 00:06:42,887 I'm sorry I'm so bad at doggy-style. 170 00:06:43,304 --> 00:06:45,598 Do you really want to remember Sir Miss-A-Lot? 171 00:06:45,682 --> 00:06:48,017 This is all important stuff from my single life. 172 00:06:48,101 --> 00:06:50,145 I think I need to go through the pile again. 173 00:06:50,228 --> 00:06:52,415 You know what, you're right. Let's go through everything again. 174 00:06:52,439 --> 00:06:53,999 Can you just come with me to the hallway 175 00:06:54,065 --> 00:06:55,900 and take a look at a pile I made out there? 176 00:06:55,984 --> 00:06:56,985 Oh, yeah, okay. 177 00:06:57,235 --> 00:06:59,320 - I just really appreciate it. - Mmm-hmm. 178 00:06:59,404 --> 00:07:01,114 I know you got a lot of work to do. 179 00:07:01,197 --> 00:07:02,198 Yeah, so it's… 180 00:07:03,783 --> 00:07:06,369 I have to finish packing so I can work on the binder! 181 00:07:06,453 --> 00:07:08,830 You made me do this! I'm shutting this tiny door! 182 00:07:08,913 --> 00:07:11,166 - Jessica, open the door! - You're a terrible packer! 183 00:07:11,249 --> 00:07:12,542 Jessica, open the door! 184 00:07:12,625 --> 00:07:15,503 Your favorite team is the Green Bay… Not Packers. 185 00:07:15,628 --> 00:07:17,022 Let me in, okay? Because, you know, 186 00:07:17,046 --> 00:07:18,441 if I'm out here too long, I'm gonna run into… 187 00:07:18,465 --> 00:07:20,675 Hey, neighbor, you dig turtles? 188 00:07:21,259 --> 00:07:22,302 It's not a big deal. 189 00:07:22,385 --> 00:07:23,678 I've been flashed by, like, 190 00:07:23,762 --> 00:07:25,638 seven or eight different people since college. 191 00:07:25,722 --> 00:07:27,162 - What? - You guys have been flashed? 192 00:07:27,223 --> 00:07:28,224 - No. - Never. 193 00:07:28,308 --> 00:07:29,893 Everybody's been flashed 194 00:07:29,976 --> 00:07:32,145 - countless times, right? - No. 195 00:07:32,228 --> 00:07:35,356 Oh, it's just me who's been flashed about 300 times? 196 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:38,026 - What? - You guys have never been flashed? 197 00:07:38,401 --> 00:07:39,611 - No. - Never. 198 00:07:39,694 --> 00:07:41,613 Not even on, like, holidays? 199 00:07:41,696 --> 00:07:42,697 No! 200 00:07:42,781 --> 00:07:44,181 Not even, like, after the Olympics? 201 00:07:44,324 --> 00:07:46,367 Hey, guys, I still can't find the bathroom. 202 00:07:46,451 --> 00:07:48,953 Where did you guys say it was again? This place is like a maze. 203 00:07:49,037 --> 00:07:51,289 Dunston, it's… it's one big room, buddy. 204 00:07:52,373 --> 00:07:54,250 Never mind. I don't have to go anymore. 205 00:07:54,334 --> 00:07:55,644 No, no, no, no, you're fine, you're fine. 206 00:07:55,668 --> 00:07:57,962 You've had, like, two tubs of soda. You need to go. 207 00:07:58,046 --> 00:07:59,089 Yeah, I do have to go. 208 00:07:59,172 --> 00:08:00,274 It's right back there to the left. 209 00:08:00,298 --> 00:08:01,299 Okay. Yeah, right past 210 00:08:01,382 --> 00:08:02,383 the pop… 211 00:08:02,467 --> 00:08:04,552 Someone call about a flasher? 212 00:08:04,636 --> 00:08:06,096 Oh. 213 00:08:06,179 --> 00:08:07,222 Just responding 214 00:08:07,305 --> 00:08:08,431 to a call about a flasher. 215 00:08:08,515 --> 00:08:10,391 Oh, yes. Uh, there is no need. 216 00:08:10,475 --> 00:08:12,102 Dunston and I have got this, so… 217 00:08:12,185 --> 00:08:13,770 Oh, how is Dunston? 218 00:08:13,853 --> 00:08:16,940 - Huh? I hear he's blind and weird. - No. No, he's great. 219 00:08:17,023 --> 00:08:19,692 - Ah. - Dunston gets it done… ston. 220 00:08:19,776 --> 00:08:22,112 And that's how we win… ston! 221 00:08:22,195 --> 00:08:23,321 Oh. 222 00:08:23,405 --> 00:08:24,906 - How are you? - Really good. 223 00:08:24,989 --> 00:08:26,717 - Mmm-hmm. - Yeah, Hutch is one hell of a cop. 224 00:08:26,741 --> 00:08:27,867 I'm very strong. 225 00:08:27,951 --> 00:08:29,285 Punch my stomach. Try. 226 00:08:29,369 --> 00:08:30,429 - I mean, I will. - It won't hurt. 227 00:08:30,453 --> 00:08:31,746 - Okay. - It won't hurt. 228 00:08:32,872 --> 00:08:33,915 - God. - Mmm-hmm. 229 00:08:33,998 --> 00:08:35,125 That's amazing. 230 00:08:35,208 --> 00:08:36,418 - Dunston. Bathroom. - Yeah? 231 00:08:36,501 --> 00:08:37,877 Oh, that's right. 232 00:08:37,961 --> 00:08:39,379 - Dunston? - Ah. 233 00:08:40,213 --> 00:08:42,382 - Dunston? - No, I know. 234 00:08:42,465 --> 00:08:44,342 You're in good hands. 235 00:08:44,426 --> 00:08:46,344 - I hope you're happy, too. - Great! 236 00:08:46,428 --> 00:08:47,595 - Great! - Great. 237 00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:48,763 Great! 238 00:08:50,765 --> 00:08:52,267 Somebody call the G8 Summit 239 00:08:52,350 --> 00:08:54,144 because I just felt the climate change. 240 00:08:54,227 --> 00:08:55,228 I don't get that. 241 00:08:56,020 --> 00:08:57,147 - Hmm. - Excuse me. 242 00:08:57,230 --> 00:08:59,149 You know where the bathroom is? 243 00:08:59,691 --> 00:09:02,068 - It's not back here. - Right. 244 00:09:02,193 --> 00:09:04,070 If you throw out one more thing, 245 00:09:04,154 --> 00:09:06,573 I am gonna hurl my body against the door! 246 00:09:06,656 --> 00:09:08,533 Okay, fine, I am gonna do it. 247 00:09:08,616 --> 00:09:10,243 I hope I don't hurt myself! 248 00:09:12,036 --> 00:09:14,414 Ow! 249 00:09:14,831 --> 00:09:16,308 You think I don't know those were hands? 250 00:09:16,332 --> 00:09:17,518 - That was a slap sound! - Yeah. 251 00:09:17,542 --> 00:09:19,461 Okay, you're right, it's a slapping sound, 252 00:09:19,544 --> 00:09:22,756 but I, I think I overdid it and I really hurt my wrist. 253 00:09:22,839 --> 00:09:24,591 It's, like, swelling. 254 00:09:24,716 --> 00:09:26,636 I'm telling you the truth, okay? It really hurts. 255 00:09:26,718 --> 00:09:28,720 Just, can you please open the door? 256 00:09:28,803 --> 00:09:30,472 And now my wrists are fine! 257 00:09:30,555 --> 00:09:31,635 You snake! You rattlesnake! 258 00:09:34,726 --> 00:09:36,936 - Oh, my God, everything's gone. - Look, Cece, 259 00:09:37,020 --> 00:09:39,397 I know you're freaking out about leaving the apartment, 260 00:09:39,481 --> 00:09:40,732 but if you think of it like… 261 00:09:40,815 --> 00:09:43,401 No. It's just, it's not just the apartment. 262 00:09:43,485 --> 00:09:45,403 It's just… it's… it's all of it. 263 00:09:45,487 --> 00:09:47,113 Everything is changing! 264 00:09:47,197 --> 00:09:48,717 I'm not gonna have this place anymore, 265 00:09:48,782 --> 00:09:50,075 and I'm getting married. 266 00:09:53,495 --> 00:09:55,288 Oh, my God, Jess, I'm getting married. 267 00:09:55,371 --> 00:09:57,558 - Are you having second thoughts? - No, no. I… I know I want 268 00:09:57,582 --> 00:10:00,877 to marry Schmidt more than anything in the world. It's just… 269 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:03,755 Everything is gonna change, and I am scared. 270 00:10:03,838 --> 00:10:05,298 Oh, honey. 271 00:10:05,381 --> 00:10:07,884 Oh, my little breakfast link. 272 00:10:08,843 --> 00:10:10,237 Okay, now, look, we don't have time for this. 273 00:10:10,261 --> 00:10:11,971 Okay, you have to work on your binder. 274 00:10:15,892 --> 00:10:17,227 Forget the binder. 275 00:10:17,310 --> 00:10:19,479 Right now, this is more important. 276 00:10:19,562 --> 00:10:21,523 - So you know what we're gonna do? - What? 277 00:10:22,899 --> 00:10:23,900 We're gonna get 278 00:10:23,983 --> 00:10:25,610 into it! 279 00:10:25,735 --> 00:10:28,196 - I'm gonna take my pants off! - What? Why? 280 00:10:31,533 --> 00:10:33,719 - So, Nick, can you describe the suspect? - Mr. Miller, can you describe the suspect? 281 00:10:33,743 --> 00:10:34,887 Uh, are you doing the interview, or… 282 00:10:34,911 --> 00:10:36,138 Oh, yeah, I'm usually the interview guy. 283 00:10:36,162 --> 00:10:37,831 - Oh, that's okay. - No, you can take it. 284 00:10:37,914 --> 00:10:40,101 - I'll take it, dude, it's not a big deal. - Hey, well, it can be either… 285 00:10:40,125 --> 00:10:42,395 No, I'm used to it, too, but you're used to it, so it's not a big deal for me. 286 00:10:42,419 --> 00:10:43,896 Well, I mean, I'm used to it, but I'm open to new things. 287 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:45,022 Okay, yeah, but to the count of three. 288 00:10:45,046 --> 00:10:46,107 - Just… just please… - We're just gonna do it. 289 00:10:46,131 --> 00:10:47,191 - One, two, three. - You do it. 290 00:10:47,215 --> 00:10:48,466 - I can… - I'm gonna go. 291 00:10:48,550 --> 00:10:51,928 He was average size, thin, wispy blond hair. 292 00:10:52,011 --> 00:10:53,596 Oddly shaped, kind of came to a point. 293 00:10:53,680 --> 00:10:55,200 - Uh, what does that mean? - Top heavy. 294 00:10:55,265 --> 00:10:57,767 A bit of a scar as if like from a hook or something. 295 00:10:57,851 --> 00:11:00,186 Gross. Ugh. Uh, anything else? 296 00:11:00,270 --> 00:11:01,664 I think that about does it. You want me to describe 297 00:11:01,688 --> 00:11:02,915 what his face and body looked like? 298 00:11:02,939 --> 00:11:04,441 Yeah, that'd be… Wait. 299 00:11:04,566 --> 00:11:06,568 Have you been describing his penis this whole time? 300 00:11:06,651 --> 00:11:07,712 All right, that's it. I'm done. 301 00:11:07,736 --> 00:11:09,046 I'm not even the one that called you guys. 302 00:11:09,070 --> 00:11:10,488 - Man! - And to be fair, 303 00:11:10,572 --> 00:11:12,866 I knew he was talking about a penis the whole time. See? 304 00:11:14,033 --> 00:11:15,326 That is way too real! 305 00:11:15,410 --> 00:11:16,745 Aggressively detailed. 306 00:11:16,828 --> 00:11:18,246 I had to guess on the testicles, 307 00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:19,569 'cause he hadn't described 'em. 308 00:11:22,459 --> 00:11:25,670 You know what it is? It's just that there's no turning back. 309 00:11:25,754 --> 00:11:28,214 I mean, who am I when I leave this apartment? 310 00:11:28,298 --> 00:11:29,966 "Mrs. Cece Schmidt?" 311 00:11:30,049 --> 00:11:33,762 "Cece Schmidt" sounds like the mayor of an evil Swiss town. 312 00:11:33,845 --> 00:11:35,472 It does. 313 00:11:35,555 --> 00:11:36,598 Oh, my God. 314 00:11:36,681 --> 00:11:37,908 Did I tell you that Schmidt thinks 315 00:11:37,932 --> 00:11:39,684 that we should drop our last names 316 00:11:39,768 --> 00:11:41,227 and make up a new one? 317 00:11:41,311 --> 00:11:43,104 He is currently, at the moment, 318 00:11:43,188 --> 00:11:46,441 leaning towards Zenith and Telluride. 319 00:11:46,524 --> 00:11:48,693 I don't hate Telluride. 320 00:11:48,777 --> 00:11:50,904 Getting married is just such a big leap. 321 00:11:50,987 --> 00:11:52,906 You leap big all the time! 322 00:11:52,989 --> 00:11:55,700 You moved here at 18 with nothing but a bunch of chokers. 323 00:11:56,034 --> 00:11:57,577 Isn't it amazing? 324 00:11:57,660 --> 00:11:58,912 And it's mine. 325 00:11:58,995 --> 00:12:01,498 Yeah, there's also a knife stuck in the wall. 326 00:12:01,873 --> 00:12:03,625 Oh, look! Someone left a spoon 327 00:12:03,708 --> 00:12:04,769 with some rock candy in it. 328 00:12:04,793 --> 00:12:06,336 I wonder what flavor it is. 329 00:12:06,419 --> 00:12:08,421 This is a way bigger leap. 330 00:12:08,505 --> 00:12:10,757 Ugh! Becky! You sloppy boob lizard! 331 00:12:11,758 --> 00:12:14,010 Principal Cavatappi! 332 00:12:14,094 --> 00:12:16,304 Oh, yeah, the binder. Yup, I've got it right 333 00:12:18,556 --> 00:12:19,766 here. 334 00:12:19,849 --> 00:12:21,476 Where's the binder? 335 00:12:21,559 --> 00:12:23,019 Um, yeah, uh, sorry. 336 00:12:23,103 --> 00:12:24,604 Um, yeah, I've got it right here. 337 00:12:24,687 --> 00:12:26,439 Find it. Find it. 338 00:12:26,523 --> 00:12:27,732 You packed it somewhere! 339 00:12:27,816 --> 00:12:30,360 - Yeah, I can turn to page 13. Hold on. - Oh. Chuka. 340 00:12:30,443 --> 00:12:31,736 Chuka, chuka, chuka. 341 00:12:31,820 --> 00:12:33,029 - Chuka. - What is that? 342 00:12:33,113 --> 00:12:34,298 That was a page-turning noise. 343 00:12:34,322 --> 00:12:36,366 - Chuka, chuka… - Um, yup, I see the graph. 344 00:12:36,449 --> 00:12:40,245 Chuk, chuka, chuk, chuk! 345 00:12:40,328 --> 00:12:41,788 Jess? 346 00:12:41,871 --> 00:12:43,415 Do you remember Rosarito? 347 00:12:45,458 --> 00:12:47,778 We don't have much to go on, but I'll run your description. 348 00:12:47,836 --> 00:12:49,254 Hopefully, Dunston wouldn't have 349 00:12:49,337 --> 00:12:51,464 spilled coffee all over the radio. 350 00:12:51,548 --> 00:12:55,635 You know, he brews his own and drinks it out of a sandwich bag. 351 00:12:57,971 --> 00:12:59,639 Winston, just call Aly and tell her 352 00:12:59,722 --> 00:13:01,182 that you want to be partners again. 353 00:13:01,266 --> 00:13:03,184 Ugh. Look, guys, I… 354 00:13:03,268 --> 00:13:04,936 I cannot. 355 00:13:05,019 --> 00:13:07,605 I just cannot hear about Aly's boyfriend 356 00:13:07,689 --> 00:13:10,567 and his ass that don't quit, okay? 357 00:13:10,650 --> 00:13:13,027 My ass don't quit! What about my ass? 358 00:13:13,111 --> 00:13:16,281 - Winston, please call Aly. - Seriously, dude. 359 00:13:16,740 --> 00:13:18,575 - There he is. - Hey, do you have 360 00:13:18,658 --> 00:13:20,160 - any, uh… - Freeze, buddy! 361 00:13:20,535 --> 00:13:21,786 Oh, yeah, freeze! 362 00:13:21,870 --> 00:13:23,413 Wait! Hey! 363 00:13:23,496 --> 00:13:24,748 - Oh. Hey, hey, hey! - Hey! 364 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:27,542 Yeah! Got him! 365 00:13:27,625 --> 00:13:29,711 All right! Dunston! 366 00:13:29,794 --> 00:13:31,629 - Oh, yes. - Yeah, man. I'm not normally 367 00:13:31,713 --> 00:13:32,940 - the cuff guy, but I'll do it. - Yeah, me, either. 368 00:13:32,964 --> 00:13:34,567 - But I'll do it. - One size fits all, right? 369 00:13:34,591 --> 00:13:35,759 Yeah, I guess it's… 370 00:13:37,010 --> 00:13:38,946 - Man, I just said, I'm the cuff guy! - I'm not normally the cuff… 371 00:13:38,970 --> 00:13:40,239 But, yeah, but if I'm not normally the… 372 00:13:40,263 --> 00:13:42,223 Then if you're not… but I'm not normally. 373 00:13:42,307 --> 00:13:43,701 - Okay, okay, count of three. - Count of three. 374 00:13:43,725 --> 00:13:44,910 - Who is the cuff guy? One. - All right. One. 375 00:13:44,934 --> 00:13:46,311 Two, three, four. 376 00:13:46,394 --> 00:13:47,562 - Five, six. See? - Five. Mmm. 377 00:13:48,730 --> 00:13:49,731 All right. Three, -Three, 378 00:13:49,814 --> 00:13:50,940 Two, one… 379 00:13:51,024 --> 00:13:52,692 - Zero, negative one. - Damn it! That… 380 00:13:52,776 --> 00:13:54,736 Winston, Dunston! Dunston! 381 00:13:54,819 --> 00:13:55,987 - Go! - Hey! 382 00:14:00,033 --> 00:14:01,534 I got to say… 383 00:14:01,618 --> 00:14:04,287 He never comes in twice in a night. 384 00:14:04,370 --> 00:14:05,538 I just hope he's okay. 385 00:14:05,663 --> 00:14:08,458 I'm alarmed by how connected to this man you feel. 386 00:14:08,541 --> 00:14:09,701 I just hope the best for him. 387 00:14:12,128 --> 00:14:14,506 I am so dead. 388 00:14:14,589 --> 00:14:15,858 If I don't find this binder, I'm gonna 389 00:14:15,882 --> 00:14:18,009 need a really good excuse. Oh, wait, Cece? 390 00:14:18,093 --> 00:14:19,761 Can you break my arm just a little bit? 391 00:14:19,886 --> 00:14:21,113 - No! - You're right. It's better 392 00:14:21,137 --> 00:14:22,138 if I do it myself. 393 00:14:22,222 --> 00:14:23,306 Okay, you know what? Hey! 394 00:14:23,389 --> 00:14:25,767 Hey, can I just throw something out there? 395 00:14:25,850 --> 00:14:27,185 What if you quit? 396 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:28,561 I want to quit. 397 00:14:28,645 --> 00:14:30,939 God, do I want to quit, but I can't! I can't! 398 00:14:31,189 --> 00:14:35,360 You can quit. Because this Becky lady is making you miserable. 399 00:14:36,444 --> 00:14:38,822 You were always someone who loved their job. 400 00:14:38,905 --> 00:14:41,783 It's my first day of teaching in LA. 401 00:14:41,866 --> 00:14:43,159 And I'm giving my job. 402 00:14:43,243 --> 00:14:47,414 A big fat "A…". 403 00:14:49,332 --> 00:14:51,418 You remember the last time I was unemployed? 404 00:14:51,501 --> 00:14:53,461 I ran out of things to knit. 405 00:14:53,545 --> 00:14:56,381 - I knit a condom. - Oh, the yarn-dom. 406 00:14:56,464 --> 00:14:58,758 - I pray this was never used. - Okay, remember earlier 407 00:14:58,842 --> 00:15:00,844 when you told me to leap? 408 00:15:00,927 --> 00:15:02,178 You should leap. 409 00:15:02,512 --> 00:15:03,763 I don't leap. 410 00:15:03,847 --> 00:15:06,850 I take small planned steps, like an arthritic dog. 411 00:15:11,563 --> 00:15:13,064 Really? 412 00:15:16,735 --> 00:15:19,237 The last listing is a loft downtown. 413 00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:20,405 Bad area. 414 00:15:20,530 --> 00:15:23,616 The ad just says it's "sunsoaked and beige-y." 415 00:15:23,742 --> 00:15:26,745 I don't know. They seem like three nice girls. 416 00:15:31,708 --> 00:15:34,544 And now I am marrying one of those girls 417 00:15:34,627 --> 00:15:36,463 and totally freaking out about it. 418 00:15:36,546 --> 00:15:37,898 You know who you need to talk to, right? 419 00:15:37,922 --> 00:15:40,216 - Yes. Definitely. Winston. - No. 420 00:15:40,300 --> 00:15:41,634 - What the hell? - What? 421 00:15:41,718 --> 00:15:43,279 I'm gone for two months, and all of a sudden. 422 00:15:43,303 --> 00:15:45,638 Winston's a bridesmaid? Never mind. 423 00:15:45,722 --> 00:15:47,015 - You need to call Schmidt. - No. 424 00:15:47,098 --> 00:15:49,726 No, I can't call him and tell him that I'm scared. 425 00:15:49,851 --> 00:15:52,979 I think that that's what getting married is. 426 00:15:54,272 --> 00:15:56,483 Sharing all this, 427 00:15:56,566 --> 00:15:57,942 all the things you're afraid of, 428 00:15:58,026 --> 00:16:00,236 all the things that embarrass you, 429 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:01,654 weak doggy-style guy. 430 00:16:05,575 --> 00:16:06,701 You got to call Schmidt. 431 00:16:07,660 --> 00:16:08,787 All right. 432 00:16:10,205 --> 00:16:12,457 A voice call, Jess? 433 00:16:12,540 --> 00:16:15,460 Let me guess, a family of ducks is crossing the street. 434 00:16:15,543 --> 00:16:17,796 No, no, no, no, no, no. It's me. It's me. Um, so… 435 00:16:17,962 --> 00:16:19,214 Okay, um, 436 00:16:19,297 --> 00:16:22,133 I love you but I am freaking out about getting married. 437 00:16:22,217 --> 00:16:24,070 Cece, what? What's… what's going on? What's happening? 438 00:16:24,094 --> 00:16:26,721 Well, I just… I don't… I don't… 439 00:16:26,805 --> 00:16:27,889 Oh, no. Um, 440 00:16:27,972 --> 00:16:29,682 Jess, it's Becky. It's Becky. 441 00:16:29,766 --> 00:16:31,267 What… what do you want me to do? 442 00:16:31,351 --> 00:16:33,120 - What do I do? What do I do? - Don't answer it. Don't answer it. 443 00:16:33,144 --> 00:16:35,897 What? Who's Becky? What's a Becky? What's happening? 444 00:16:38,066 --> 00:16:39,067 Don't answer it. 445 00:16:39,692 --> 00:16:41,069 Do not answer it. 446 00:16:41,486 --> 00:16:43,071 - I'm gonna answer it. - What? 447 00:16:43,154 --> 00:16:45,073 Hello! Hi. Uh, yeah, 448 00:16:45,156 --> 00:16:47,259 so, this is Cece Parekh, and you are treating my friend 449 00:16:47,283 --> 00:16:48,993 very badly. 450 00:16:49,077 --> 00:16:50,745 What? Put Jess on. 451 00:16:50,829 --> 00:16:54,165 No, no, no, no. You are done using my friend, okay? 452 00:16:54,249 --> 00:16:56,418 So she… quits. 453 00:16:56,501 --> 00:16:58,211 - I what? - She what? 454 00:16:58,294 --> 00:16:59,337 - I what? - That's right! 455 00:16:59,421 --> 00:17:01,381 Jess quits! 456 00:17:05,885 --> 00:17:07,971 Nailed it! 457 00:17:12,434 --> 00:17:15,019 Oh, my God, the binder. It's under the couch. 458 00:17:21,484 --> 00:17:22,861 No, no, no. We handled it. 459 00:17:22,944 --> 00:17:23,987 - It's our perp. - Aly, 460 00:17:24,070 --> 00:17:25,989 I want you back. I… 461 00:17:26,072 --> 00:17:27,532 - I want you back. - Are you trying 462 00:17:27,615 --> 00:17:30,034 to tell me something or doing a Jackson 5 song? 463 00:17:30,118 --> 00:17:31,745 I miss having you as my partner. 464 00:17:31,828 --> 00:17:34,539 Do you want to tell me why you left? 465 00:17:35,957 --> 00:17:38,042 'Cause you never did. And, honestly, Winston, 466 00:17:38,126 --> 00:17:39,544 that really sucked. 467 00:17:39,627 --> 00:17:41,171 I left because you hurt my feelings 468 00:17:41,254 --> 00:17:43,089 when you kept talking about… 469 00:17:45,759 --> 00:17:47,969 You kept talking about 470 00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:53,475 how much you hate my music. You know? 471 00:17:53,558 --> 00:17:55,685 This is about your Pure Moods CD? 472 00:17:55,769 --> 00:17:57,937 That's it. That's all. It's the only reason why I left. 473 00:17:58,438 --> 00:18:00,899 Okay. I mean, that thing makes me wish I was born 474 00:18:00,982 --> 00:18:02,859 without the ability to hear music, 475 00:18:02,942 --> 00:18:06,029 but if it means that much to you, 476 00:18:06,112 --> 00:18:07,989 I'll listen to it. 477 00:18:09,199 --> 00:18:10,992 I… I appreciate that. 478 00:18:11,076 --> 00:18:13,078 Look, you're the only partner I want. 479 00:18:13,578 --> 00:18:14,954 You make me 480 00:18:16,039 --> 00:18:17,499 laugh and whatever. 481 00:18:17,582 --> 00:18:19,918 I don't know. I suck at compliments. 482 00:18:20,001 --> 00:18:22,253 - Yeah. - Partners? 483 00:18:23,797 --> 00:18:24,964 Partners. 484 00:18:25,632 --> 00:18:27,175 Shake it. Don't just hold it. 485 00:18:27,258 --> 00:18:28,927 Yeah. Sorry. 486 00:18:30,303 --> 00:18:31,596 I think that was Dunston. 487 00:18:31,679 --> 00:18:33,890 - How did he not see us? - No idea. 488 00:18:34,557 --> 00:18:35,892 Oh, yeah, he's night-blind. 489 00:18:37,060 --> 00:18:38,269 Dunston! 490 00:18:40,146 --> 00:18:41,940 It's done. Everything you asked for. 491 00:18:42,023 --> 00:18:43,900 And, Principal Cavatappi, I'm very sorry 492 00:18:43,983 --> 00:18:45,402 for what my friend said. I… 493 00:18:45,485 --> 00:18:47,285 Oh, I know. I would never let you quit anyway. 494 00:18:47,487 --> 00:18:48,798 Can you come up with some thoughts on 495 00:18:48,822 --> 00:18:51,302 the science curriculum for the superintendent and sign my name? 496 00:18:53,201 --> 00:18:54,202 Yeah. 497 00:18:54,285 --> 00:18:55,412 Sure. Yes. 498 00:18:58,706 --> 00:19:00,083 You know what? No! 499 00:19:00,166 --> 00:19:01,459 I can't. No. 500 00:19:01,543 --> 00:19:03,962 Nope. Um, because I quit. 501 00:19:05,213 --> 00:19:07,882 I hope you have a minor career setback, 502 00:19:07,966 --> 00:19:09,717 learn from it, relocate, 503 00:19:09,801 --> 00:19:14,472 and ultimately have a very nice life, Becky. 504 00:19:29,195 --> 00:19:30,321 Mmm. 505 00:19:34,075 --> 00:19:35,368 Do I want to know this story? 506 00:19:35,452 --> 00:19:36,953 I hope so, 507 00:19:37,036 --> 00:19:41,082 because we're about to spend the rest of our lives together. 508 00:19:41,166 --> 00:19:42,886 So you're gonna have to hear all my stories. 509 00:19:42,959 --> 00:19:45,359 I want to spend the rest of my life hearing all your stories. 510 00:19:45,837 --> 00:19:47,189 Until, of course, my hearing goes out 511 00:19:47,213 --> 00:19:50,091 and I get tinnitus. Do you know Dave Letterman has tinnitus? 512 00:19:50,341 --> 00:19:51,468 Um… 513 00:19:53,344 --> 00:19:55,096 About… about what I said on the phone… 514 00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:57,056 I'm a little freaked out, too. 515 00:19:57,682 --> 00:19:59,017 - You are? - Yes. 516 00:19:59,434 --> 00:20:01,686 And it has nothing to do with how much I love you. 517 00:20:01,770 --> 00:20:03,021 Exactly. 518 00:20:03,104 --> 00:20:04,898 Or how much I want to get married. 519 00:20:05,690 --> 00:20:06,691 Exactly. 520 00:20:06,775 --> 00:20:08,068 We'll be scared together. 521 00:20:08,193 --> 00:20:11,946 And we'll be really happy together, too. 522 00:20:12,405 --> 00:20:14,032 And we'll be really annoyed together, 523 00:20:14,115 --> 00:20:16,475 knowing that we're living with three other people and a cat. 524 00:20:16,534 --> 00:20:17,952 Also, I think there's another cat. 525 00:20:18,036 --> 00:20:20,038 Winston's being very evasive about it, but… 526 00:20:20,121 --> 00:20:21,456 Mmm. 527 00:20:28,129 --> 00:20:29,130 It's a foster cat. 528 00:20:29,214 --> 00:20:31,108 I think it's helping him get over the whole Aly thing. 529 00:20:31,132 --> 00:20:32,133 I don't care. 530 00:20:32,217 --> 00:20:33,343 Well, I guess this is it. 531 00:20:33,426 --> 00:20:35,428 I thought Jess would be here, but… 532 00:20:35,512 --> 00:20:38,598 - You know, okay, end of an era. - Yeah. 533 00:20:38,681 --> 00:20:40,266 Have you ever been here before? 534 00:20:40,350 --> 00:20:42,602 This is maybe my second time. 535 00:20:43,645 --> 00:20:45,647 I nursed my pippy back to health here. 536 00:20:45,730 --> 00:20:48,149 Yeah. I remember. 537 00:20:48,233 --> 00:20:50,276 All right. I'm gonna give you a minute. 538 00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:51,444 Okay. 539 00:21:00,286 --> 00:21:02,038 Cece, Cece, Cece. 540 00:21:05,291 --> 00:21:07,127 Do you want to do the honors or should I? 541 00:21:07,210 --> 00:21:09,462 Hmm… Go for it. 542 00:21:14,259 --> 00:21:16,136 Okay. One, two, three. 543 00:21:16,219 --> 00:21:17,595 We did it! 544 00:21:17,679 --> 00:21:19,031 Oh, my God, there's hair on the end! 545 00:21:19,055 --> 00:21:20,682 Put it back! Put it back! 546 00:21:34,904 --> 00:21:35,905 Do you speak Russian? 547 00:21:35,989 --> 00:21:36,990 Nope.