1 00:00:00,966 --> 00:00:04,053 - Great rehearsal dinner! - Bye! 2 00:00:04,178 --> 00:00:05,262 Tran. 3 00:00:05,346 --> 00:00:08,515 Great lasagne, it was fantastic. 4 00:00:08,599 --> 00:00:11,643 Now you're fishing. It was just good, and you know it. 5 00:00:11,727 --> 00:00:14,396 You used the cheap cheese, and that was your mistake. 6 00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:15,731 Great noodles, though. 7 00:00:15,814 --> 00:00:18,442 Thank you. Bye. We care about you. 8 00:00:18,525 --> 00:00:19,693 - Mm-hmm. - We did it! 9 00:00:19,777 --> 00:00:21,070 - Yes, we did it! - We did it. 10 00:00:21,153 --> 00:00:23,447 Best rehearsal dinner ever. You guys are a good team. 11 00:00:23,530 --> 00:00:24,758 We haven't slept all week, but thanks. 12 00:00:24,782 --> 00:00:26,533 I work in hospitality, it's what I do. 13 00:00:26,617 --> 00:00:27,701 I've got some cools things 14 00:00:27,785 --> 00:00:29,304 - for tomorrow I want to show you. - Right on. 15 00:00:29,328 --> 00:00:31,080 Maid of honor. 16 00:00:31,163 --> 00:00:32,331 Best man. 17 00:00:32,414 --> 00:00:33,832 Mayday J-Day. 18 00:00:33,916 --> 00:00:35,292 What's up, Nick-knack. 19 00:00:35,376 --> 00:00:36,770 We're gonna need some more hotties on the dance floor. 20 00:00:36,794 --> 00:00:37,878 Copy that. 21 00:00:37,961 --> 00:00:39,713 I'll get those hotties right over to ya. 22 00:00:41,090 --> 00:00:42,174 Awesome. 23 00:00:42,257 --> 00:00:43,735 Thank you for letting us stay in your room. 24 00:00:43,759 --> 00:00:44,843 Of course. 25 00:00:44,927 --> 00:00:46,404 I'm sorry your mother's not coming, Cece. 26 00:00:46,428 --> 00:00:49,390 Her disapproval of my son fills me with a hot rage 27 00:00:49,473 --> 00:00:51,475 I've repressed into a cyst on my back. 28 00:00:51,558 --> 00:00:53,394 It's grotesque. Sweet dreams, Kid. 29 00:00:53,477 --> 00:00:55,437 Night, Mom. Good night, my mom's friend Susan. 30 00:00:57,481 --> 00:00:59,042 Are you guys sure that you don't want to use the air mattress? 31 00:00:59,066 --> 00:01:01,610 - We sleep together. - We've been lovers since 1998. 32 00:01:04,530 --> 00:01:07,616 I want to thank everyone for an amazing rehearsal dinner. 33 00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:10,661 Special shout out to Winston for a shockingly good toast. 34 00:01:10,744 --> 00:01:12,621 Winston! 35 00:01:12,705 --> 00:01:14,307 - Insanely good. - Dipping in and out of French. 36 00:01:14,331 --> 00:01:16,458 - Powerful stuff, man. - Yay! 37 00:01:16,542 --> 00:01:18,228 No. Blessings, blessings on all your households. 38 00:01:18,252 --> 00:01:20,480 All right, I think it's time to get the bride and the groom 39 00:01:20,504 --> 00:01:22,214 to sleep in separate beds like boy cousins. 40 00:01:22,297 --> 00:01:24,057 Wait, wait, can we just say good night first? 41 00:01:24,091 --> 00:01:25,634 We'll allow it. 42 00:01:25,718 --> 00:01:26,927 We'll allow it. 43 00:01:31,682 --> 00:01:34,476 - I'm gonna go to the bathroom. - I'm gonna do the dishes. Dishes. 44 00:01:36,020 --> 00:01:37,563 - Break it up! - What is this? 45 00:01:37,646 --> 00:01:38,814 The last night of drama camp? 46 00:01:38,897 --> 00:01:40,983 Enjoy it while you can because it gets boring. 47 00:01:41,066 --> 00:01:45,946 Same old lips year after year with no spark, 48 00:01:46,030 --> 00:01:50,159 just dead tongues touching, like decayed salmon. 49 00:01:50,242 --> 00:01:51,744 Oh, my God, Winston! 50 00:01:51,827 --> 00:01:53,120 I did it! 51 00:01:56,957 --> 00:01:58,709 The night before the wedding, 52 00:01:58,792 --> 00:02:02,087 a bride is bound to feel a little bit emotional, 53 00:02:02,171 --> 00:02:03,630 so nervous? I got Xanax. 54 00:02:03,714 --> 00:02:05,424 - Delicious. - Mm-hmm. 55 00:02:05,507 --> 00:02:08,302 Sad, I have a picture of a cat riding a dog like a horse. 56 00:02:09,803 --> 00:02:11,138 Is that for me or for you? 57 00:02:11,221 --> 00:02:12,639 - What? - Hmm. 58 00:02:12,723 --> 00:02:14,641 You freak out, you want to escape to Canada? 59 00:02:14,725 --> 00:02:17,436 I've got our passports and… 60 00:02:17,519 --> 00:02:19,855 Trudeau pics. 61 00:02:19,938 --> 00:02:21,648 I'm good, you know? I don't need anything. 62 00:02:21,732 --> 00:02:23,650 Really? 'Cause you can ask for anything. 63 00:02:23,734 --> 00:02:25,569 After tomorrow, you're not gonna be able 64 00:02:25,652 --> 00:02:27,363 to use the bride card anymore. 65 00:02:27,446 --> 00:02:28,655 You've got power. 66 00:02:28,739 --> 00:02:29,948 Wield it. 67 00:02:31,158 --> 00:02:33,786 I'm gonna go crazy doing this for you one day. 68 00:02:33,869 --> 00:02:35,245 Well, Sam is the most 69 00:02:35,329 --> 00:02:38,165 objectively marry-able guy I've ever dated. 70 00:02:38,248 --> 00:02:40,125 He's out there washing dishes right now. 71 00:02:40,209 --> 00:02:41,293 Mm. 72 00:02:41,377 --> 00:02:42,961 - And he's so tall. - So tall. 73 00:02:43,045 --> 00:02:44,725 His jacket on me looks like a garbage bag. 74 00:02:44,755 --> 00:02:45,756 Check it out. 75 00:02:48,550 --> 00:02:49,927 Oh. 76 00:02:50,010 --> 00:02:51,470 Uh… 77 00:02:51,553 --> 00:02:53,180 What is this? 78 00:02:57,142 --> 00:02:58,560 What? What? What? 79 00:03:01,397 --> 00:03:03,482 - Oh, my God. - Oh, my God. 80 00:03:03,565 --> 00:03:04,900 Is Sam gonna propose? 81 00:03:06,902 --> 00:03:09,321 Oh, my God. 82 00:03:09,446 --> 00:03:11,407 Oh, my God! 83 00:03:11,490 --> 00:03:13,701 Nick, let me tell you something. It has been a pleasure 84 00:03:13,784 --> 00:03:16,286 watching you blossom into the best man. 85 00:03:16,370 --> 00:03:18,414 Well, thank you for giving me the soil to grow. 86 00:03:18,497 --> 00:03:19,832 Good night. 87 00:03:22,209 --> 00:03:25,212 - My flash drive is gone! - The flash drive your vows are on? 88 00:03:25,295 --> 00:03:28,590 - No, a different flash drive! - Then what's the problem? 89 00:03:28,674 --> 00:03:30,009 I was being sarcastic! 90 00:03:30,092 --> 00:03:32,553 Of course the flash drive that my vows are on! 91 00:03:32,636 --> 00:03:33,721 Ah… 92 00:03:33,804 --> 00:03:35,639 - There's my poet's fuel. - Mm! 93 00:03:35,723 --> 00:03:37,641 Mm, I might still be drunk 94 00:03:37,725 --> 00:03:40,477 from my own toast, but my God, 95 00:03:40,561 --> 00:03:42,938 you are gonna make a beautiful bride someday. 96 00:03:44,940 --> 00:03:46,442 Bye. 97 00:03:48,736 --> 00:03:50,362 Uh… 98 00:03:50,446 --> 00:03:51,739 I'm here. I heard it. 99 00:03:51,822 --> 00:03:54,450 Let's acknowledge that and, uh, 100 00:03:54,533 --> 00:03:56,952 you know where to find me. 101 00:03:58,954 --> 00:04:00,194 It's not here. I can't find it. 102 00:04:00,247 --> 00:04:02,666 I told Aly she'd make a beautiful bride someday, 103 00:04:02,750 --> 00:04:04,168 and then she just bounced. 104 00:04:04,251 --> 00:04:05,669 I mean, why'd I say that? 105 00:04:05,753 --> 00:04:06,793 We've been dating a month. 106 00:04:06,837 --> 00:04:09,381 Dude, Schmidt lost his vows! 107 00:04:09,465 --> 00:04:10,591 For the wedding? 108 00:04:10,674 --> 00:04:12,926 No, different vows. 109 00:04:13,010 --> 00:04:14,195 Oh, so then what's the big deal? 110 00:04:14,219 --> 00:04:16,597 What is wrong with you people? How'd I lose it? 111 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:18,199 I wear it around my neck. I even we… 112 00:04:18,223 --> 00:04:20,100 - I even wear it when I got a spray tan. - Ooh. 113 00:04:20,184 --> 00:04:22,561 - I think I know what happened. - What? 114 00:04:25,230 --> 00:04:27,000 - Is that a piece of my flash drive? - Yes, it is. 115 00:04:27,024 --> 00:04:28,793 You see, earlier tonight, when we were practicing the hora… 116 00:04:28,817 --> 00:04:31,111 Winston, stop trying to throw me off the chair! 117 00:04:31,195 --> 00:04:32,696 That's not the game! 118 00:04:34,198 --> 00:04:37,159 I don't mean this anti-Jewish at all, 119 00:04:37,242 --> 00:04:39,787 but that insane Jew dance has ruined our lives. 120 00:04:39,870 --> 00:04:41,288 I'm freaking out. 121 00:04:41,372 --> 00:04:43,082 It took me nine months to write those vows. 122 00:04:43,165 --> 00:04:45,959 - What do you remember? - Cece… 123 00:04:46,043 --> 00:04:47,437 I can't believe this day is finally here. 124 00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:48,754 And then… 125 00:04:48,837 --> 00:04:51,382 Rick Santorum said it best when… 126 00:04:51,465 --> 00:04:52,716 I don't… That's all I got. 127 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:53,926 That's all I remember. 128 00:04:54,009 --> 00:04:55,135 That's all you remember? 129 00:04:55,219 --> 00:04:56,553 My vows were like a novel. 130 00:04:56,637 --> 00:04:57,906 How much of your zombie novel do you remember? 131 00:04:57,930 --> 00:05:00,557 Chapter one, "On Jack Granger's" 132 00:05:00,641 --> 00:05:02,976 "41st birthday, he was shot in the face by his dog Ed." 133 00:05:03,060 --> 00:05:04,853 Understand the situation that I'm in. 134 00:05:04,937 --> 00:05:07,314 You are so lucky. 135 00:05:07,398 --> 00:05:08,732 How-how am I lucky, Nick? 136 00:05:08,816 --> 00:05:10,359 'Cause one of the greatest writers 137 00:05:10,442 --> 00:05:12,528 of our time is about to enter this room. 138 00:05:12,611 --> 00:05:14,071 Would you like to meet him? 139 00:05:14,154 --> 00:05:15,197 All right. 140 00:05:16,115 --> 00:05:17,700 I'll go get him. 141 00:05:20,661 --> 00:05:22,329 There's no way it's not him, right? 142 00:05:22,413 --> 00:05:23,997 You think it's him? 143 00:05:25,749 --> 00:05:28,168 It's me. 144 00:05:29,211 --> 00:05:31,130 You know what, just 'cause he has a ring 145 00:05:31,213 --> 00:05:33,191 doesn't mean he's gonna propose to me tonight or right now. 146 00:05:33,215 --> 00:05:35,926 Hey, guys. I'm so sorry to interrupt. 147 00:05:36,010 --> 00:05:38,178 Uh, Jess, I have something important 148 00:05:38,262 --> 00:05:40,973 I want to talk to you about, when you get a chance. 149 00:05:44,685 --> 00:05:46,103 Okay, yeah. 150 00:05:46,186 --> 00:05:48,147 I'll be right there. 151 00:05:48,230 --> 00:05:50,190 Cool PJ's. 152 00:05:50,274 --> 00:05:53,152 I look like the sky. 153 00:05:54,820 --> 00:05:56,739 Okay. 154 00:06:04,663 --> 00:06:08,208 This is happening now. He is going to propose. 155 00:06:08,292 --> 00:06:10,252 I totally didn't see this coming. 156 00:06:10,335 --> 00:06:11,962 - This is great, right? - Yeah. 157 00:06:14,339 --> 00:06:16,759 - What was that? - What was what? 158 00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:19,970 - You paused. - I didn't pause. 159 00:06:20,054 --> 00:06:23,432 You took, like, a huge pause. You were like… 160 00:06:30,356 --> 00:06:32,399 - Longer than that! - Jess… 161 00:06:32,483 --> 00:06:34,360 What aren't you saying? That's what I'm asking. 162 00:06:34,443 --> 00:06:36,296 Nothing, if you want to marry Sam, I want you to! 163 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:38,405 You think this is a horrible idea! 164 00:06:38,489 --> 00:06:42,534 You know what the truth is? I think that you paused on the inside. 165 00:06:44,203 --> 00:06:45,913 - Boom. - Don't you boom me. 166 00:06:45,996 --> 00:06:48,248 - I boom. - First of all, neither of us 167 00:06:48,374 --> 00:06:50,143 should want to say boom. That's not ever a cool thing to say. 168 00:06:50,167 --> 00:06:51,585 I'll decide who says boom! 169 00:06:51,668 --> 00:06:55,005 To write anything, you need to start with a big idea. 170 00:06:55,089 --> 00:06:57,716 In my last zombie novel, Uh-oh Guts, 171 00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:00,219 the big idea was that there were too many guts. 172 00:07:00,302 --> 00:07:03,389 Schmidt, you're gonna say the first thing that comes to mind 173 00:07:03,472 --> 00:07:05,808 - when you think of Cece. - Okay. 174 00:07:07,893 --> 00:07:09,895 Cece 175 00:07:09,978 --> 00:07:12,439 uh, what a… 176 00:07:12,523 --> 00:07:13,917 You're too inside the thing. I-It's not that hard. 177 00:07:13,941 --> 00:07:14,942 Watch me do it. 178 00:07:15,025 --> 00:07:16,485 Ooh, now we getting somewhere. 179 00:07:16,568 --> 00:07:18,463 Winnie the Bish, when you feel ready just say her name. 180 00:07:18,487 --> 00:07:20,614 - Her name. - I'm gonna need you to say, "Cece." 181 00:07:20,698 --> 00:07:22,324 - Okay, this is not working. - Cece. 182 00:07:22,408 --> 00:07:24,076 Cece… average worker. 183 00:07:24,159 --> 00:07:25,661 Uneducated, but kind. 184 00:07:25,744 --> 00:07:27,413 Wears shoes, boyish 185 00:07:27,496 --> 00:07:28,747 never really talked to her. 186 00:07:28,831 --> 00:07:31,250 I don't know why I'm listening to you in the first place. 187 00:07:31,333 --> 00:07:33,711 You're terrible at talking to women. 188 00:07:33,794 --> 00:07:35,713 Case in point: You and Reagan. 189 00:07:37,464 --> 00:07:39,466 Hey, did you clean everywhere? 190 00:07:39,550 --> 00:07:40,884 Are you happy? 191 00:07:40,968 --> 00:07:42,469 Are you happy that you said that? 192 00:07:42,553 --> 00:07:45,180 I'd like to smell your towel. 193 00:07:45,264 --> 00:07:46,515 Back to the basics, Schmidt. 194 00:07:46,598 --> 00:07:48,851 Okay, there's only seven types of stories. 195 00:07:48,934 --> 00:07:50,704 - Please, don't list them. - I'm gonna list them. 196 00:07:50,728 --> 00:07:52,896 Man vs. Man, man vs. Dog, 197 00:07:52,980 --> 00:07:55,357 dog vs. Zombie, James Bond, 198 00:07:55,441 --> 00:07:58,068 stories of kings and lords, women over 50 199 00:07:58,152 --> 00:08:01,780 finding themselves after divorce, and car commercial. 200 00:08:01,864 --> 00:08:04,283 My favorite is, uh, that Toyota, 201 00:08:04,366 --> 00:08:07,369 uh… ev-every… the family's in the car… 202 00:08:07,453 --> 00:08:08,847 You're thinking of the food commercial. 203 00:08:08,871 --> 00:08:10,181 - Really? - Fat boy talks to idiot. 204 00:08:10,205 --> 00:08:12,082 Okay, eight, fat boy talks to idiot. 205 00:08:12,166 --> 00:08:13,792 We're getting nowhere. Winston, 206 00:08:13,876 --> 00:08:16,378 I need some of that toast magic. What do you got? 207 00:08:16,462 --> 00:08:19,089 I'm sorry, but I'm done speaking from the heart. I 208 00:08:19,173 --> 00:08:21,175 basically ruined my love life today. 209 00:08:21,258 --> 00:08:22,527 - Here's my advice to you. - Okay. 210 00:08:22,551 --> 00:08:23,969 Keep your guard up. 211 00:08:24,053 --> 00:08:25,613 - Don't be too vulnerable around her. - What? 212 00:08:25,637 --> 00:08:27,681 Be standoff-ish, close yourself. 213 00:08:27,765 --> 00:08:29,350 When she looks at you, cross your arms. 214 00:08:29,433 --> 00:08:30,785 - Turn your back on her. - Whoa, whoa. 215 00:08:30,809 --> 00:08:32,478 For wedding vows, that's terrible advice. 216 00:08:33,187 --> 00:08:36,607 Yeah… I get it, but you don't really, like, know how she feels. 217 00:08:38,650 --> 00:08:40,903 Did I do it? 218 00:08:43,072 --> 00:08:46,116 Did he do it? 219 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:48,160 Okay… 220 00:08:48,243 --> 00:08:50,037 All right. You're welcome. 221 00:08:56,794 --> 00:08:59,963 That was terrible, Winston! 222 00:09:00,047 --> 00:09:02,216 Slow down, take a breath, 223 00:09:02,299 --> 00:09:05,386 why don't we just talk about it and figure out what you want? 224 00:09:05,469 --> 00:09:06,762 No, that's what I always do. 225 00:09:06,845 --> 00:09:08,555 I talk and I talk. 226 00:09:08,639 --> 00:09:09,807 Not this time. 227 00:09:09,890 --> 00:09:12,726 I'm gonna, I'm gonna… push through the panic 228 00:09:12,810 --> 00:09:14,228 and I'm gonna 229 00:09:15,979 --> 00:09:17,272 say yes. 230 00:09:17,356 --> 00:09:18,774 Really? 231 00:09:18,857 --> 00:09:20,401 I'm gonna go get proposed to. 232 00:09:20,484 --> 00:09:21,836 Okay, look, well, if you start freaking out 233 00:09:21,860 --> 00:09:23,213 and you need anything, just holler, okay? 234 00:09:23,237 --> 00:09:25,614 I will not need anything from you! 235 00:09:25,698 --> 00:09:28,575 If you get chilly, here's a blanket that I knitted you. 236 00:09:28,659 --> 00:09:30,077 It took me all year. 237 00:09:36,041 --> 00:09:37,167 Sam? 238 00:09:38,293 --> 00:09:39,670 You left your jacket in my room. 239 00:09:39,753 --> 00:09:40,754 Oh, thanks. 240 00:09:42,047 --> 00:09:45,467 So, uh, we finally, get a… moment alone here. 241 00:09:45,551 --> 00:09:47,011 Yes. One moment. 242 00:09:47,094 --> 00:09:48,220 One momentous moment. 243 00:09:48,303 --> 00:09:51,223 I, uh… know the timing of this is 244 00:09:52,266 --> 00:09:55,269 been really crazy, 245 00:09:55,352 --> 00:09:57,646 and, uh… Jess… 246 00:09:57,730 --> 00:09:59,773 God, I'm so nervous. 247 00:09:59,857 --> 00:10:00,858 Um. 248 00:10:03,527 --> 00:10:04,778 Jess, would you… 249 00:10:04,862 --> 00:10:06,822 - True American! - What? 250 00:10:06,905 --> 00:10:08,282 Um, hey, guys, everybody out here! 251 00:10:08,365 --> 00:10:09,992 We're playing True American! 252 00:10:10,075 --> 00:10:12,244 Cece, I'm hollering! I'm hollering! 253 00:10:12,327 --> 00:10:13,638 - We can't play True American. - It's so late already. 254 00:10:13,662 --> 00:10:15,056 - No, we can't play… - There's no time. 255 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:16,081 Help me. 256 00:10:18,709 --> 00:10:21,628 We're gonna play True American because I want to. 257 00:10:21,712 --> 00:10:24,673 I'm using my bride card! 258 00:10:25,924 --> 00:10:27,009 The bride has spoken. 259 00:10:30,012 --> 00:10:33,474 Tonight we celebrate the brides! It's True American: First Ladies Edition! 260 00:10:33,557 --> 00:10:34,850 We can't play True American. 261 00:10:34,933 --> 00:10:36,477 - We have to, it's for Cece. - Fine. 262 00:10:36,560 --> 00:10:39,021 We play fast, sober, then back to work. 263 00:10:39,104 --> 00:10:40,749 - Who the hell have I become? - Let's do it. 264 00:10:40,773 --> 00:10:43,150 Okay! The kitchen is Michelle's garden, 265 00:10:43,233 --> 00:10:46,653 the bathroom is Mary Todd Lincoln's Sanitarium, and as always… 266 00:10:46,737 --> 00:10:48,737 The floor is lava! Let's go! One, two, three, four! 267 00:10:48,781 --> 00:10:50,741 - Jackie O! - Eleanor! 268 00:10:53,577 --> 00:10:55,388 John cheated, so I'm redecorating the White House! 269 00:10:55,412 --> 00:10:58,123 - Everybody drink! Yes! - Even John John? 270 00:10:58,207 --> 00:11:00,501 - Lava! - All right, all right. 271 00:11:00,584 --> 00:11:02,503 I thought this was Nancy Reagan's gun closet. 272 00:11:02,586 --> 00:11:03,670 Lava! 273 00:11:03,754 --> 00:11:04,981 Just someone explain to me the rules. 274 00:11:05,005 --> 00:11:06,298 Camelot, Bay of Pigs. 275 00:11:06,382 --> 00:11:07,692 You got to redecorate! Redecorate! 276 00:11:07,716 --> 00:11:08,884 Redecorate! No, redecorate! 277 00:11:08,967 --> 00:11:11,303 Hey, Jess, can I just talk to you real quick? 278 00:11:11,387 --> 00:11:14,515 - Lesbian road trip. Bye, FDR! - FDR! 279 00:11:14,598 --> 00:11:17,351 Drink, drink, drink, drink! Drink, drink! 280 00:11:17,434 --> 00:11:18,435 Rushmore! 281 00:11:21,230 --> 00:11:22,940 Hillary Headband Hot Potato! 282 00:11:23,023 --> 00:11:25,693 Congress has her healthcare bill! 283 00:11:25,776 --> 00:11:27,319 All right, nice and easy. 284 00:11:27,403 --> 00:11:28,737 - Oh! Oh! - Terrible toss! 285 00:11:28,821 --> 00:11:30,280 Drink, drink! Drink, drink! 286 00:11:30,364 --> 00:11:33,409 I know we're guests in this house, but it's awfully loud. 287 00:11:33,492 --> 00:11:34,660 Mom! 288 00:11:34,743 --> 00:11:36,954 We're trying to play a game, God! 289 00:11:37,037 --> 00:11:38,747 Jenna goes to a Yale party! 290 00:11:38,831 --> 00:11:39,991 - No, no… - Skull and Bones! 291 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:41,393 - He's had enough, no more. - Skull and Bones! 292 00:11:41,417 --> 00:11:42,811 - No more, no more. - Skull and Bones! 293 00:11:42,835 --> 00:11:43,961 - Drink, drink! - Hey… 294 00:11:44,044 --> 00:11:46,422 Seneca Falls convention! Women only! 295 00:11:46,505 --> 00:11:48,382 That means you, Cece. Sorry. 296 00:11:48,465 --> 00:11:50,718 Sam was reaching for the ring and I freaked out. 297 00:11:50,801 --> 00:11:53,196 How do you know if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone? 298 00:11:53,220 --> 00:11:54,930 You just know. 299 00:11:55,014 --> 00:11:56,614 I don't know. I can't put it into words. 300 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:58,767 Try! There are a lot of words out there, 301 00:11:58,851 --> 00:12:00,769 just pick some of them. 302 00:12:00,853 --> 00:12:04,606 Everything inside of me just said, "Yes." 303 00:12:04,690 --> 00:12:06,817 I just looked at him. 304 00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:09,028 You know, I just had this feeling that I was home. 305 00:12:09,111 --> 00:12:11,155 That is very beautiful, 306 00:12:11,238 --> 00:12:14,116 and very, very vague and not helpful at all. 307 00:12:14,199 --> 00:12:16,410 I do know you can't avoid Sam all night. 308 00:12:16,493 --> 00:12:18,704 - Guess who's back? - Coach! 309 00:12:18,787 --> 00:12:20,205 It's me. 310 00:12:20,289 --> 00:12:21,665 - Coach! - Yeah. 311 00:12:21,749 --> 00:12:23,000 I thought you got in tomorrow. 312 00:12:23,083 --> 00:12:25,210 I got on a plane, dropped May off at the hotel 313 00:12:25,294 --> 00:12:27,212 and now I'm ready to party! 314 00:12:27,296 --> 00:12:28,964 I had six wines on the plane! 315 00:12:29,048 --> 00:12:30,859 - I call Coach on my team! - Coach on our team! 316 00:12:30,883 --> 00:12:32,193 There's only one way to solve this. 317 00:12:32,217 --> 00:12:34,219 Go behind the Iron Curtain. 318 00:12:34,345 --> 00:12:35,554 - You guys ready? - Yeah. 319 00:12:35,637 --> 00:12:37,222 One, two, three. 320 00:12:37,306 --> 00:12:39,706 We got the same number! That probably means something, right? 321 00:12:40,851 --> 00:12:42,644 No, no, no, no, no. 322 00:12:42,728 --> 00:12:44,355 Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! 323 00:12:48,108 --> 00:12:50,778 I feel like… like you've been avoiding me. 324 00:12:50,861 --> 00:12:53,489 Good to have you back, Coach! 325 00:12:55,282 --> 00:12:57,993 - What are you doing? - Here I am. 326 00:12:58,077 --> 00:12:59,995 - Oh, I'm gonna throw up! - Where y'all going? 327 00:13:00,079 --> 00:13:01,622 I'm gonna throw up! 328 00:13:01,705 --> 00:13:02,748 Hi. 329 00:13:04,333 --> 00:13:06,001 You gonna barf? 330 00:13:06,085 --> 00:13:08,504 I muffed us! 331 00:13:08,587 --> 00:13:10,381 I muffed us straight to the moon! 332 00:13:10,464 --> 00:13:11,733 I can never write my vows right now, 333 00:13:11,757 --> 00:13:13,884 I can barely even spell my own name. 334 00:13:13,967 --> 00:13:17,429 "S", jeans… 335 00:13:17,513 --> 00:13:18,639 Is that right? 336 00:13:18,722 --> 00:13:21,016 Is "jeans" not a letter? It feels like a letter to me. 337 00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:22,184 Schmidt, this is… 338 00:13:22,309 --> 00:13:23,370 I-I know it's something, is it not a letter? 339 00:13:23,394 --> 00:13:25,229 This is all my fault. 340 00:13:25,312 --> 00:13:27,106 I'm supposed to be your best man. 341 00:13:27,189 --> 00:13:28,691 I screwed you, Schmidt. 342 00:13:28,774 --> 00:13:31,276 I screwed you! 343 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:33,320 I was just trying to make Cece happy. 344 00:13:33,404 --> 00:13:34,697 It's all I want. 345 00:13:35,906 --> 00:13:38,784 It's all I ever want to do is just to make her happy. 346 00:13:38,867 --> 00:13:40,703 Wait a second, say that again. 347 00:13:40,786 --> 00:13:41,912 I screwed you. 348 00:13:41,995 --> 00:13:42,996 Why would you go to that? 349 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:44,331 No, about making her happy. 350 00:13:44,415 --> 00:13:46,041 All I want to do is make Cece happy? 351 00:13:46,125 --> 00:13:47,543 There it is. 352 00:13:47,626 --> 00:13:49,795 There's your big idea. 353 00:13:49,878 --> 00:13:51,213 There's my big idea. 354 00:13:51,296 --> 00:13:52,798 - Yeah. - To make her happy. 355 00:13:52,881 --> 00:13:54,216 That's it, that's it. 356 00:13:54,299 --> 00:13:55,884 There's my big idea! 357 00:13:55,968 --> 00:13:58,262 All I want to do is make Cece happy! There it is! 358 00:13:58,345 --> 00:13:59,847 "Jeans" isn't a letter! 359 00:13:59,930 --> 00:14:02,266 - Jeans is pants! - Yeah. 360 00:14:02,349 --> 00:14:05,853 Okay, Winnie, you said, "bride," to a girl you've been dating for a month? 361 00:14:05,936 --> 00:14:07,730 I think it's sweet. Shut up, Cece. 362 00:14:07,813 --> 00:14:08,856 - Shut up! - You shut up! 363 00:14:08,939 --> 00:14:10,941 - I miss you so much. - Oh, my God, I missed you. 364 00:14:11,025 --> 00:14:13,378 - Like, for real, missed you. - It's crazy being in New York 365 00:14:13,402 --> 00:14:14,587 'cause I'm like, "Where's Cece?" 366 00:14:14,611 --> 00:14:15,946 - Right? - Like I was saying, 367 00:14:16,030 --> 00:14:17,790 I don't know why I said it, it just came out, 368 00:14:17,823 --> 00:14:19,867 and I went from the happiest to the saddest person 369 00:14:19,950 --> 00:14:21,827 I've ever been in 15 seconds. 370 00:14:21,910 --> 00:14:23,829 I just need to be cooler around her. 371 00:14:23,912 --> 00:14:25,914 Coach, this is where you come into play. 372 00:14:25,998 --> 00:14:27,082 I need your help, man. 373 00:14:27,166 --> 00:14:28,667 I'm tired of being a sweetie pie. 374 00:14:30,627 --> 00:14:31,879 No more talking. 375 00:14:31,962 --> 00:14:34,214 - This part of the game, Coach? - Heavy. 376 00:14:34,298 --> 00:14:35,883 - Why are we out here? - This is nice. 377 00:14:37,634 --> 00:14:39,094 - Dude. - Hey, man. 378 00:14:39,178 --> 00:14:40,947 How are you gonna ask me to help you play games with Aly, man? 379 00:14:40,971 --> 00:14:42,973 You don't want that. 380 00:14:43,057 --> 00:14:44,516 Be who you are. 381 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,727 Now, the only way to find out why she left, 382 00:14:46,810 --> 00:14:49,313 is to go over there and ask her. 383 00:14:49,396 --> 00:14:50,731 Now. 384 00:14:50,814 --> 00:14:53,275 - Yeah, but… - Just do it! 385 00:14:53,359 --> 00:14:55,337 I don't yell in New York because everyone yells there 386 00:14:55,361 --> 00:14:57,279 and it's less meaningful, but I will yell here. 387 00:14:57,363 --> 00:14:58,489 Now push the button. 388 00:14:59,406 --> 00:15:00,491 God. 389 00:15:01,116 --> 00:15:03,994 - You really don't yell in New York? - Dude, I'm always in a museum. 390 00:15:04,078 --> 00:15:06,205 - Oh, my goodness. - I'm always in a museum. 391 00:15:06,288 --> 00:15:08,540 So that's basically how you play True American. 392 00:15:08,624 --> 00:15:10,542 - Yeah, it makes no sense whatsoever. - Oh. 393 00:15:10,626 --> 00:15:12,336 Look, I'm just gonna get this over with. 394 00:15:12,419 --> 00:15:13,879 Um… 395 00:15:13,962 --> 00:15:15,922 - Jess, I want to break up… - I can't marry you. 396 00:15:15,964 --> 00:15:16,965 With you. 397 00:15:17,049 --> 00:15:19,343 Oh. 398 00:15:19,426 --> 00:15:21,011 What? 399 00:15:21,887 --> 00:15:24,765 So… 400 00:15:24,848 --> 00:15:26,850 I really can't marry you. 401 00:15:30,521 --> 00:15:32,356 No, I get it. You're in love with Diane. 402 00:15:32,439 --> 00:15:36,610 She's beautiful, she's your best friend, you're both doctors. 403 00:15:36,694 --> 00:15:39,655 This morning, I… I went to drop her off at the airport, 404 00:15:39,738 --> 00:15:42,366 and I just… I just couldn't let her go, 405 00:15:42,449 --> 00:15:45,327 and it made me realize that I… 406 00:15:45,411 --> 00:15:47,663 I just… I want to spend the rest of my life with her, 407 00:15:47,746 --> 00:15:51,834 and, you know, uh, it's hard to express the feelings in words. 408 00:15:51,917 --> 00:15:53,252 Really? Really? 409 00:15:53,335 --> 00:15:55,504 Why can no one put this into words? 410 00:15:55,587 --> 00:15:57,506 I'm-I'm so sorry about the timing. 411 00:15:57,589 --> 00:15:59,567 I just… I didn't want you to have to cut my photo 412 00:15:59,591 --> 00:16:02,511 out of all the, you know, wedding pictures. 413 00:16:02,594 --> 00:16:04,096 And then with Winston's toast, 414 00:16:04,179 --> 00:16:07,099 with the… all the talk about honor and integrity and 415 00:16:07,182 --> 00:16:09,393 the gig economy, I just… 416 00:16:09,476 --> 00:16:12,396 Can we just wait to tell people? 417 00:16:12,479 --> 00:16:15,482 I… I don't want to make it about me before the wedding. 418 00:16:15,566 --> 00:16:17,109 Of course. 419 00:16:17,192 --> 00:16:18,360 Thanks. 420 00:16:18,444 --> 00:16:20,779 Hey, I hope… 421 00:16:20,863 --> 00:16:23,407 I hope Diane really likes the ring. 422 00:16:23,490 --> 00:16:25,743 What ring? 423 00:16:25,826 --> 00:16:27,828 The ring in your jacket pocket. 424 00:16:27,911 --> 00:16:31,290 I don't have a ring in my jacket pocket. 425 00:16:31,373 --> 00:16:33,125 I have a ring in my jacket pocket. 426 00:16:33,208 --> 00:16:35,002 - Yeah. - This isn't mine. 427 00:16:37,212 --> 00:16:38,964 "To Susan. Love Louise." 428 00:16:39,048 --> 00:16:41,800 Oh, my God, it's engraved? 429 00:16:41,884 --> 00:16:44,636 How did I miss this? 430 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:46,930 And the font is huge. 431 00:16:47,014 --> 00:16:49,350 So Schmidt's mom and her girlfriend are getting married. 432 00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:52,978 They're what? 433 00:16:53,062 --> 00:16:55,314 Ma? Ma? 434 00:16:55,397 --> 00:16:57,941 Are you proposing to your friend Susan? 435 00:16:58,025 --> 00:16:59,234 Ma? 436 00:17:02,863 --> 00:17:06,033 Oh, Winston, now's really not a good time. 437 00:17:06,116 --> 00:17:08,827 I know saying the word "bride" to you was a little crazy, 438 00:17:08,911 --> 00:17:10,662 but let me just explain myself, okay? 439 00:17:10,746 --> 00:17:12,790 What I meant to say is that you're beautiful. 440 00:17:12,873 --> 00:17:15,209 Every day with you is so much better. 441 00:17:15,292 --> 00:17:16,835 Your brain is banging. 442 00:17:16,919 --> 00:17:18,646 The skin-bag it comes in ain't too bad either. 443 00:17:18,670 --> 00:17:20,589 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 444 00:17:20,672 --> 00:17:23,092 You know what, except that I'm not sorry, okay? 445 00:17:23,175 --> 00:17:24,510 Because this is who I am. 446 00:17:24,593 --> 00:17:27,471 No, Winston, I have food poisoning. 447 00:17:28,597 --> 00:17:32,309 Yeah, I don't know who let Nick's mute park friend cook dinner for 20, 448 00:17:32,393 --> 00:17:36,188 but I want to find and throw up on them. 449 00:17:37,314 --> 00:17:39,525 That's why you left. Why didn't you just tell me? 450 00:17:39,608 --> 00:17:43,737 Because I don't like being vulnerable. 451 00:17:43,821 --> 00:17:45,823 It was stupid of me. I'm sorry. 452 00:17:45,906 --> 00:17:47,533 I… 453 00:17:50,619 --> 00:17:52,538 I… 454 00:17:52,621 --> 00:17:56,041 I love you, you maniac. 455 00:17:57,835 --> 00:18:01,338 You love… you love me? 456 00:18:01,422 --> 00:18:02,423 I love you. 457 00:18:02,506 --> 00:18:04,174 I love you, too. 458 00:18:05,801 --> 00:18:08,345 Wow, that feels so good to say. 459 00:18:08,429 --> 00:18:09,847 - I love you. - I love you. 460 00:18:09,930 --> 00:18:11,849 - I love you. - I love you. 461 00:18:11,932 --> 00:18:12,975 I… love… you. 462 00:18:13,058 --> 00:18:15,978 How is there anything left? 463 00:18:18,981 --> 00:18:20,858 You okay? 464 00:18:20,941 --> 00:18:23,235 So sorry for ruining your engagement. 465 00:18:23,318 --> 00:18:25,672 I'm sure you didn't plan a joint celebration with a man wearing 466 00:18:25,696 --> 00:18:28,991 a beer can crown and pillows on his shoes. 467 00:18:29,158 --> 00:18:30,659 Jealous 'cause I'm the True American. 468 00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:32,387 We're sorry we left the ring in your room. 469 00:18:32,411 --> 00:18:34,413 That's what we get for fooling around in your bed. 470 00:18:34,496 --> 00:18:36,707 Something about those high ceilings. 471 00:18:36,790 --> 00:18:38,709 We just like tossing each other around. 472 00:18:38,792 --> 00:18:40,335 - Hello! - Hey, quick show of hands, 473 00:18:40,419 --> 00:18:42,046 who's had sex in Jess's room? 474 00:18:43,338 --> 00:18:45,299 - Well, I've had sex in your room. - I know. 475 00:18:46,467 --> 00:18:47,551 What? 476 00:18:48,427 --> 00:18:50,179 Everyone's had sex in my room? 477 00:18:50,262 --> 00:18:51,513 I got weird in there. 478 00:18:51,597 --> 00:18:53,116 I've gotten weirder in there than you have. 479 00:18:53,140 --> 00:18:55,184 - Really? - Those pillows. 480 00:18:56,435 --> 00:18:58,520 There's just, like, extra, like 481 00:19:00,147 --> 00:19:01,148 pressure. 482 00:19:01,231 --> 00:19:03,609 If you don't mind, I'd like to say 483 00:19:03,692 --> 00:19:05,211 a few words about my mom and my mom's… 484 00:19:05,235 --> 00:19:06,504 - My mom's friend Susan. - My mom's friend Susan. 485 00:19:06,528 --> 00:19:08,697 God, you guys, let me talk. 486 00:19:09,615 --> 00:19:11,617 Look, Susan, I know I never fully accepted you. 487 00:19:12,743 --> 00:19:14,721 I just… I didn't know how long you were gonna be around. 488 00:19:14,745 --> 00:19:16,705 And, also, you used to call my mom 489 00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:18,707 the Big Ragoo and me the Little Ragoo, 490 00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:20,584 and I couldn't make any sense of it. 491 00:19:20,667 --> 00:19:23,587 But… you're a part of our family now. 492 00:19:26,131 --> 00:19:29,051 To my mom… and my mom. 493 00:19:29,134 --> 00:19:30,969 - Yeah! - Cheers! 494 00:19:31,053 --> 00:19:32,971 - Opa. - Yeah! 495 00:19:33,681 --> 00:19:35,724 - Aw. - Mwah. 496 00:19:42,356 --> 00:19:44,566 Cece? 497 00:19:47,111 --> 00:19:49,196 Babe, what's wrong? 498 00:19:49,279 --> 00:19:52,449 It's just that you're gonna have two moms at the wedding, 499 00:19:52,533 --> 00:19:54,493 and I'm not even gonna have one. 500 00:19:54,576 --> 00:19:58,122 I really thought that… I really thought that 501 00:19:58,205 --> 00:19:59,581 she would just show up last-minute 502 00:19:59,665 --> 00:20:03,460 'cause she would know how happy it would make me. 503 00:20:03,544 --> 00:20:05,754 I don't know why I'm crying in here. 504 00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:07,464 Jess's room is meant for sex. 505 00:20:07,548 --> 00:20:09,925 I know. I know. 506 00:20:18,892 --> 00:20:20,185 So, 507 00:20:20,269 --> 00:20:23,856 just-just hit "Lobby" and let technology do its thing. 508 00:20:23,939 --> 00:20:27,067 Yeah, cool. When-when I get in there, I'll just hit "Lobby." 509 00:20:28,235 --> 00:20:29,987 Cool. 510 00:20:33,407 --> 00:20:37,995 Just out of curiosity, Jess, why couldn't you marry me? 511 00:20:38,078 --> 00:20:41,832 Oh, I don't know. 512 00:20:43,625 --> 00:20:46,336 - Come on, Jess. You know. - No, I don't. 513 00:20:46,503 --> 00:20:50,257 - Yes, you do. I mean, I know. - You do? Then what is it? 514 00:20:50,716 --> 00:20:53,510 - You know. - No, I-I don't know. 515 00:20:53,594 --> 00:20:55,971 What-what is it? 516 00:20:56,055 --> 00:20:57,931 It's Nick.