1 00:00:07,397 --> 00:00:09,565 I am so excited about this glamping trip. 2 00:00:09,649 --> 00:00:12,318 Sleeping bags are for hobos and children. 3 00:00:12,402 --> 00:00:13,945 I am so pumped for this trip. 4 00:00:14,028 --> 00:00:16,906 Aly and I figured out how many times we would have had sex 5 00:00:16,990 --> 00:00:19,742 since we've been apart, and it's a whole bunch. 6 00:00:19,826 --> 00:00:22,120 And we gonna play catch-up on all of it. 7 00:00:22,203 --> 00:00:23,788 All 52 times. 8 00:00:23,871 --> 00:00:27,000 I am about to take Aly to Mount Smushmore. 9 00:00:27,875 --> 00:00:29,627 Know what I'm saying? 10 00:00:29,711 --> 00:00:31,337 Aw. That's lovely. 11 00:00:33,298 --> 00:00:34,799 We need to invite other people. 12 00:00:34,882 --> 00:00:36,259 - What about Nick? - No, he can't. 13 00:00:36,342 --> 00:00:37,844 He has some big writing weekend. 14 00:00:37,927 --> 00:00:39,637 Wants me to give him notes on his novel. 15 00:00:39,721 --> 00:00:42,473 He has all the pages in some large freezer bag. 16 00:00:42,557 --> 00:00:44,851 It's a hard presentation to get excited about. 17 00:00:44,934 --> 00:00:46,494 You know who would really want to come? 18 00:00:47,645 --> 00:00:48,855 I am in! 19 00:00:49,480 --> 00:00:51,608 Do you want me to bring my retractable s'mores pole? 20 00:00:52,483 --> 00:00:55,123 Is that the car antenna that you've been putting in the dishwasher? 21 00:00:55,278 --> 00:00:56,362 That is a low-level mystery 22 00:00:56,446 --> 00:00:58,698 - that has been driving me insane. - Making him crazy. 23 00:00:58,781 --> 00:01:00,301 - It's really handy. - All right, Jess. 24 00:01:00,366 --> 00:01:01,993 So just a quick warning, okay? 25 00:01:02,076 --> 00:01:05,413 This is a pretty couple-y's trip, and, you know, we just don't want you 26 00:01:05,496 --> 00:01:07,248 - to feel like a third wheel. - Yeah. 27 00:01:07,332 --> 00:01:09,584 - Oh. I have people I can bring. - You… 28 00:01:09,667 --> 00:01:11,770 - I joined a singles group. - You're meeting new people. 29 00:01:11,794 --> 00:01:12,938 - I think that's great. - Oh, my. 30 00:01:12,962 --> 00:01:16,799 It's actually a group of all singles dedicated 31 00:01:16,883 --> 00:01:19,385 - to keeping each other single. - Wow. 32 00:01:19,469 --> 00:01:20,946 I think they could probably come on the trip. 33 00:01:20,970 --> 00:01:22,847 Emotionally, they may not be available, 34 00:01:22,930 --> 00:01:25,642 but socially, they're available as hell. 35 00:01:25,725 --> 00:01:27,328 - Just talk to her really quickly. - You know what? 36 00:01:27,352 --> 00:01:28,454 Oh, you're already texting people. 37 00:01:28,478 --> 00:01:29,479 They're probably not… 38 00:01:29,562 --> 00:01:30,688 - They're in! - Oh! 39 00:01:30,772 --> 00:01:32,231 All of them! 40 00:01:32,774 --> 00:01:36,069 Honestly, they would have gone to the DMV with you, if you had asked. 41 00:01:48,247 --> 00:01:49,916 How long have you been standing there? 42 00:01:52,043 --> 00:01:53,044 What happened to you? 43 00:01:53,127 --> 00:01:55,672 The Pepperwood Chronicles, that's what happened to me. 44 00:01:55,755 --> 00:01:57,674 - So it's really that bad. - Nick. 45 00:01:58,132 --> 00:01:59,342 This book 46 00:02:00,635 --> 00:02:02,053 is magnificent. 47 00:02:03,554 --> 00:02:05,932 - What? - Julius Pepperwood? 48 00:02:06,015 --> 00:02:10,061 A hard-boiled Chicago cop turned New Orleans detective, 49 00:02:10,144 --> 00:02:11,521 racing around on fan-boats, 50 00:02:11,604 --> 00:02:15,316 drowning that two-faced DA in a bucket of jambalaya. 51 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:17,860 - Yeah. Right in the jambalaya. - Finding John F. Kennedy 52 00:02:20,029 --> 00:02:21,531 - alive? - That wasn't too far? 53 00:02:21,614 --> 00:02:23,032 It's a masterpiece, Nick. 54 00:02:25,076 --> 00:02:26,119 Is that my whiteboard? 55 00:02:26,202 --> 00:02:27,972 - You said I could have it. - Well, we both know that's not true, 56 00:02:27,996 --> 00:02:29,556 but if it helps you get more of this story out, 57 00:02:29,580 --> 00:02:31,291 then, yes, you are welcome to it. 58 00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:34,540 Well, all right, Schmidt, hit me, I want your notes. 59 00:02:36,296 --> 00:02:37,380 No notes! 60 00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:39,340 - No notes? - No notes. 61 00:02:39,757 --> 00:02:41,050 - No notes? - No notes. 62 00:02:41,134 --> 00:02:42,468 - No notes! - No notes. 63 00:02:42,552 --> 00:02:45,096 - No notes! - No notes. It's perfect, Nick. 64 00:02:45,179 --> 00:02:47,379 I want another chapter by the time I get back on Sunday. 65 00:02:47,515 --> 00:02:49,350 Then I guess it's time for me to get to work. 66 00:02:49,434 --> 00:02:51,144 My little wobbly-nosed Michael Chabon. 67 00:02:52,729 --> 00:02:54,290 - Hey, congratulations. - Thank you, man. 68 00:02:54,314 --> 00:02:55,594 I, uh… Thank you. I needed it. 69 00:02:59,902 --> 00:03:01,195 I'm a writer. 70 00:03:01,571 --> 00:03:03,072 'Sup? 71 00:03:04,866 --> 00:03:05,867 I love you. I miss you. 72 00:03:05,950 --> 00:03:08,202 I love you. I miss you. You clearly didn't get my text, 73 00:03:08,286 --> 00:03:10,496 because your pants are still on. 74 00:03:11,664 --> 00:03:12,957 So excited about this. 75 00:03:13,249 --> 00:03:15,460 Hey, Aly! Oh! Your bra's already off. Okay. 76 00:03:15,835 --> 00:03:18,546 We're out the door. None of this in my car, please. 77 00:03:18,838 --> 00:03:20,882 I just had it shampooed. Jess. 78 00:03:20,965 --> 00:03:23,009 I called ahead and got us an early yurt check-in. 79 00:03:23,092 --> 00:03:24,552 - Oh. - Beep-beep. 80 00:03:24,636 --> 00:03:25,988 People about to have sex coming through. 81 00:03:26,012 --> 00:03:27,263 - Look out. - Aren't you coming? 82 00:03:27,347 --> 00:03:30,308 Actually, I'm gonna go with my group. 83 00:03:30,391 --> 00:03:32,644 We rented a van. It has a built-in microwave. 84 00:03:32,727 --> 00:03:34,312 We're all really stoked about it. 85 00:03:34,395 --> 00:03:37,035 You're not making me feel any better about this group of strangers. 86 00:03:37,106 --> 00:03:38,316 Well, it's not all strangers. 87 00:03:38,399 --> 00:03:40,234 Some of them are friends! 88 00:03:40,318 --> 00:03:41,861 - Robby? - My Robby? 89 00:03:41,945 --> 00:03:45,239 Yeah. I got here way too early, so I've just been standing outside, 90 00:03:45,323 --> 00:03:48,242 kind of waiting for my opportunity to enter. How'd I do? 91 00:03:48,326 --> 00:03:49,494 Robby, are you in this group? 92 00:03:49,577 --> 00:03:51,162 Is he in the group? 93 00:03:51,537 --> 00:03:54,374 Robby is the founder, president, and secretary of the group. 94 00:03:54,457 --> 00:03:56,097 I formed the group after Nadia dumped me. 95 00:03:56,501 --> 00:03:57,710 I always use two sugars. 96 00:03:58,211 --> 00:04:00,755 My mom says 'cause I'm so sweet, you know. 97 00:04:00,838 --> 00:04:02,048 Oh, whoa! 98 00:04:02,131 --> 00:04:03,257 I didn't want to be alone, 99 00:04:03,341 --> 00:04:04,902 but I also didn't want to be in a relationship. 100 00:04:04,926 --> 00:04:07,112 And that's when he got the idea to bring people together 101 00:04:07,136 --> 00:04:08,763 to help each other stay single. 102 00:04:08,846 --> 00:04:11,766 Yeah, we meet weekly for non-romantic companionship. 103 00:04:11,849 --> 00:04:13,285 - But most of all, we just have fun. - Yeah. 104 00:04:13,309 --> 00:04:15,687 Like last week, we shut down this Korean barbecue. 105 00:04:15,770 --> 00:04:17,289 We paid with 13 different credit cards, 106 00:04:17,313 --> 00:04:19,524 and we were asked to never come back again. 107 00:04:19,607 --> 00:04:21,025 It was epic! 108 00:04:21,109 --> 00:04:22,389 - That sounds awesome. - Oh, man. 109 00:04:22,443 --> 00:04:24,380 It's a really cool group, and we have our own motto. 110 00:04:24,404 --> 00:04:26,447 I'm single and I'm sufficient. 111 00:04:30,868 --> 00:04:33,037 - That's I-S-I-S. That's ISIS. - That's ISIS. 112 00:04:33,121 --> 00:04:35,456 - Oh, my God. - You're asking people to join ISIS. 113 00:04:35,540 --> 00:04:36,934 No, no, no, no. As communication czar, 114 00:04:36,958 --> 00:04:38,418 - I should have caught that. - Yeah. 115 00:04:38,501 --> 00:04:39,919 Isn't this group 116 00:04:40,003 --> 00:04:42,880 just a painfully transparent stall until you meet someone? 117 00:04:42,964 --> 00:04:44,590 - Being single is a choice. - Yeah. 118 00:04:44,674 --> 00:04:46,235 - Don't single-shame. - What is single-shame? 119 00:04:46,259 --> 00:04:47,361 - No, honey. He was not single-shaming you. - I… I wasn't… 120 00:04:47,385 --> 00:04:48,862 - That was not his intention at all. - I don't even know what that is. 121 00:04:48,886 --> 00:04:51,472 Couples always try to talk down to singles. 122 00:04:51,681 --> 00:04:53,725 We can do everything that you guys can do. 123 00:04:53,808 --> 00:04:55,852 I take myself out for a dessert date every Sunday. 124 00:04:55,935 --> 00:04:59,272 Yeah, and yesterday, I had a backache, and I rubbed it myself, in a doorjamb. 125 00:04:59,355 --> 00:05:00,523 This is bummin' me out. 126 00:05:00,607 --> 00:05:02,609 Is this group gonna be a bummer? Be honest. 127 00:05:02,692 --> 00:05:04,485 Absolutely not. 128 00:05:05,361 --> 00:05:07,488 There's Brenda. She's a circuit court judge 129 00:05:07,572 --> 00:05:10,283 who also teaches taxidermy class for kids. 130 00:05:10,366 --> 00:05:13,286 And Hugh. He grows his own onions. 131 00:05:13,369 --> 00:05:16,414 My former boss and current friend, Principal Foster. 132 00:05:16,497 --> 00:05:20,376 His hip surgeon has okayed him for sex, but he hasn't okayed himself. 133 00:05:20,460 --> 00:05:22,462 And of course, Robby, our leader. 134 00:05:23,171 --> 00:05:26,549 Have you ever seen a group more ready to have fun with themselves? 135 00:05:37,101 --> 00:05:39,437 Just look at this view. We needed this so badly. 136 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:40,980 It's… It's perfect. 137 00:05:43,316 --> 00:05:44,317 Is it, though? 138 00:05:46,527 --> 00:05:48,071 Can you stop hogging the vista? 139 00:05:48,154 --> 00:05:50,049 There are other people who would like to take a photo. 140 00:05:50,073 --> 00:05:52,384 I don't want to lose this light. It's a traditional high-noon. 141 00:05:52,408 --> 00:05:54,243 Don't couple-splain light to us. 142 00:05:54,327 --> 00:05:57,664 It just seems like it would be easier if you guys took a group photo. 143 00:05:57,747 --> 00:05:59,141 We actually need a picture for our website… 144 00:05:59,165 --> 00:06:00,225 - Oh, yeah. - So, all right, 145 00:06:00,249 --> 00:06:01,459 you can take a group photo. 146 00:06:01,542 --> 00:06:02,794 All right, let's do this. 147 00:06:03,169 --> 00:06:06,005 Now, I'm only taking one shot, so if the first one's a silly one, 148 00:06:06,089 --> 00:06:07,882 you're gonna have to live with a silly one. 149 00:06:07,966 --> 00:06:10,093 Okay. One, two, three. 150 00:06:10,176 --> 00:06:11,344 - There we go. - Great photo. 151 00:06:11,427 --> 00:06:13,238 I'm gonna need one, too. Actually, we're all gonna need one. 152 00:06:13,262 --> 00:06:14,806 - What? - Yeah, we don't share phones 153 00:06:14,889 --> 00:06:16,975 - like you people. - Who shares phones? 154 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:19,440 - How would we call each other? - I don't know. 155 00:06:20,853 --> 00:06:23,231 I can't do this. This is… Take these back. 156 00:06:23,648 --> 00:06:26,359 You guys are ruining a perfectly good vista moment. 157 00:06:26,442 --> 00:06:30,029 Can't you go some place else and "enjoy being single"? 158 00:06:30,113 --> 00:06:35,118 Did you just quote-hands "enjoy being single" to us? 159 00:06:35,201 --> 00:06:38,913 You guys are telling each other that you're happy being this, 160 00:06:39,539 --> 00:06:42,625 when we all know that you would rather be this. 161 00:06:42,709 --> 00:06:45,003 No. This is jazz hands, 162 00:06:45,086 --> 00:06:47,505 the end of an explosive musical number. 163 00:06:47,964 --> 00:06:51,175 This is O.J. trying to put on the bloody glove. 164 00:06:51,843 --> 00:06:54,053 This is freedom! This is flying! 165 00:06:54,137 --> 00:06:56,222 This is praying that you can go back to this! 166 00:06:56,306 --> 00:06:58,182 This is high fives for everybody! 167 00:06:58,433 --> 00:07:01,602 All around! Yes! 168 00:07:01,686 --> 00:07:04,230 Let's go to the lake, guys. Bye. 169 00:07:04,314 --> 00:07:07,233 - I call dibs on the slime-free part. - Okay. 170 00:07:08,443 --> 00:07:09,819 Just enjoy the view. I mean… 171 00:07:09,902 --> 00:07:12,488 This is O.J. putting back on the glove. 172 00:07:15,617 --> 00:07:16,993 No notes. 173 00:07:22,290 --> 00:07:23,374 Okay, just… 174 00:07:23,458 --> 00:07:26,210 Just start and see what… Just start. No notes. 175 00:07:27,128 --> 00:07:28,421 All me. 176 00:07:31,341 --> 00:07:33,384 No notes. What does "no notes" even mean? 177 00:07:33,468 --> 00:07:35,595 No notes. No notes? 178 00:07:37,138 --> 00:07:38,348 Come on. 179 00:07:42,185 --> 00:07:44,896 Nick, I'm communing with nature, and I'm almost at peace. 180 00:07:44,979 --> 00:07:46,814 - What do you want? - No notes? 181 00:07:46,940 --> 00:07:49,192 - Seriously? - It is just so nice 182 00:07:49,275 --> 00:07:51,611 to get out of the city and watch TV. 183 00:07:51,694 --> 00:07:54,030 What about this dumb thing? When Pepperwood just watches 184 00:07:54,113 --> 00:07:55,615 a block of local news. 185 00:07:55,698 --> 00:07:57,700 Oh, I found that part to be gutting, Nick. 186 00:07:57,784 --> 00:08:01,245 I mean, the irony that Pepperwood's violent world is being translated 187 00:08:01,329 --> 00:08:03,623 into sound bites for mass consumption… 188 00:08:03,706 --> 00:08:05,833 That's just me transcribing Channel 3 News! 189 00:08:06,042 --> 00:08:07,794 I didn't even change the anchors' names! 190 00:08:07,877 --> 00:08:09,379 - It's called realism, Nick. - No. 191 00:08:09,462 --> 00:08:11,381 - Good-bye, genius. - No! 192 00:08:12,465 --> 00:08:14,384 Ooh, that was… Ooh. 193 00:08:15,218 --> 00:08:17,553 Oh, my gosh. 13 times. 194 00:08:17,762 --> 00:08:20,098 - Yeah. It's a lot of times. - Yeah. 195 00:08:20,181 --> 00:08:22,225 - A lot of times. - I had a good time. 196 00:08:22,308 --> 00:08:23,661 - I had a great time. - I could've gone 197 00:08:23,685 --> 00:08:25,436 so many more times than that. 198 00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:27,605 Yeah, that's actually nothing. 199 00:08:27,689 --> 00:08:30,191 - I could go all night, girl. - I could go tens of… 200 00:08:30,566 --> 00:08:32,336 - So many more times. - Tens of… Ten… Yeah. 201 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:35,488 - Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. - Cool, cool, cool, cool. 202 00:08:35,571 --> 00:08:37,031 That's what's up. That's what's up. 203 00:08:37,115 --> 00:08:38,783 - That's what's up. - Oh, it's the phone. 204 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:44,122 - Hella? - Winston, are you… 205 00:08:44,747 --> 00:08:45,787 Hey, Winnie, are you okay? 206 00:08:45,832 --> 00:08:47,226 You sound like you're being chased up a hill. 207 00:08:47,250 --> 00:08:49,544 Oh, no. Aly and I are just breaking each other off 208 00:08:49,627 --> 00:08:51,838 basically nonstop. It's Nick. 209 00:08:51,963 --> 00:08:53,089 I told him we were breaking 210 00:08:53,172 --> 00:08:54,942 - each other off basically nonstop. - I know. I can hear you, honey. 211 00:08:54,966 --> 00:08:57,069 - Oh, you heard everything? Okay. - Yeah. What does he want? 212 00:08:57,093 --> 00:08:58,094 I'm in crisis right now. 213 00:08:58,177 --> 00:08:59,405 Could you read my book and give me notes, please? 214 00:08:59,429 --> 00:09:01,931 Oh, man. I don't want to take a break. 215 00:09:02,015 --> 00:09:03,349 Mmm. Mmm-mmm. 216 00:09:03,433 --> 00:09:06,394 I'm like a freight train right now. I can't slow down. 217 00:09:06,477 --> 00:09:07,937 - Me either. - This is crisis! 218 00:09:08,104 --> 00:09:09,606 - But… - Guys 219 00:09:09,814 --> 00:09:11,792 supporting our friend's artistic endeavors guys 220 00:09:11,816 --> 00:09:14,319 - is also insanely… - Hey, guys. Guys, pay attention. 221 00:09:14,402 --> 00:09:15,562 - It's sexy. - This is crisis. 222 00:09:15,612 --> 00:09:17,590 - But I was thinking the same thing. - Oh, thank God. 223 00:09:17,614 --> 00:09:20,408 - Hello? Winston! Winston… - We could easily just both read the book 224 00:09:20,491 --> 00:09:21,885 - you're supposed to be my friend. - At the same time, 225 00:09:21,909 --> 00:09:23,077 and then when we're done, 226 00:09:23,161 --> 00:09:25,556 - just get right back at it, right? - Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. 227 00:09:25,580 --> 00:09:27,540 Great. Now, do… Do you guys want a PDF 228 00:09:27,624 --> 00:09:29,584 or do you want 100 individual JPEGs? 229 00:09:30,209 --> 00:09:33,379 - JPEGs, JPEGs, JPEGs. - Uh, 100 individual JPEGs, please. 230 00:09:33,463 --> 00:09:35,882 Yeah! This is gonna take forever. 231 00:09:41,763 --> 00:09:43,973 Five-three. 232 00:09:44,349 --> 00:09:46,225 Hey. Oh, I was just… 233 00:09:46,309 --> 00:09:49,062 Just playing a little single and sufficient badminton. 234 00:09:49,145 --> 00:09:50,331 Well, I hope you worked up an appetite, 235 00:09:50,355 --> 00:09:52,357 because I'm gonna make my Singles Sliders. 236 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:54,293 - Oh, yeah? - Okay, so what I do is I take the meat 237 00:09:54,317 --> 00:09:56,420 from three different sliders, and then I just sort of mash 'em 238 00:09:56,444 --> 00:09:58,196 into one big boy that stands on his own. 239 00:09:58,279 --> 00:10:00,281 Oh. So, like a burger. 240 00:10:00,365 --> 00:10:02,085 Yeah, it's like a burger except it's bigger. 241 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,577 Oh. Well, if it isn't Schmidt. 242 00:10:04,661 --> 00:10:07,747 Or should I call you Schmidt-tata 'cause you have so much egg on your face? 243 00:10:07,830 --> 00:10:10,708 - You little Italian egg omelet. - Nice. 244 00:10:10,792 --> 00:10:12,592 Jess, what's happening in the lake over there? 245 00:10:13,044 --> 00:10:14,647 - Wait, is that a jellyfish? - Come over here. 246 00:10:14,671 --> 00:10:16,589 Oh, please, that's so much less sexual 247 00:10:16,673 --> 00:10:19,467 than the stuff that you and Nick do on a regular basis. 248 00:10:19,550 --> 00:10:20,927 Ow. 249 00:10:21,010 --> 00:10:22,804 It's happening. 250 00:10:22,887 --> 00:10:24,013 Okay, Robby… 251 00:10:24,097 --> 00:10:25,348 I'm on it. 252 00:10:28,226 --> 00:10:30,478 Guys, guys, no, no, no, no, no. What are you doing? 253 00:10:30,561 --> 00:10:33,249 You guys know that you can only be in this group if you're single, right? 254 00:10:33,273 --> 00:10:34,607 It's tough. 255 00:10:34,691 --> 00:10:35,775 I'm very horny. 256 00:10:35,858 --> 00:10:37,443 I want you guys to be strong. 257 00:10:38,444 --> 00:10:39,612 Let's do the motto. 258 00:10:40,530 --> 00:10:41,650 - I'm single… - I'm single, 259 00:10:41,698 --> 00:10:43,467 - and I'm sufficient. - And I'm sufficient. 260 00:10:43,491 --> 00:10:44,885 Didn't sound like you meant it. One more. 261 00:10:44,909 --> 00:10:47,036 - I'm single and I'm sufficient. - Yes. 262 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:49,580 - One last time. - I'm single and I'm sufficient! 263 00:10:49,664 --> 00:10:51,582 - Yes! - Well, I just hope 264 00:10:51,666 --> 00:10:54,961 we don't see a repeat of that kind of behavior with me later on. 265 00:10:55,295 --> 00:10:56,671 You were amazing out there. 266 00:10:56,754 --> 00:10:59,841 Your ability to dampen sexual chemistry is astounding. 267 00:11:09,142 --> 00:11:10,935 Uh… Thanks. 268 00:11:18,443 --> 00:11:21,529 Hey, guys! I just caught a fish with my hand! 269 00:11:26,534 --> 00:11:28,411 Wow. Nick's book is astonishing. 270 00:11:28,494 --> 00:11:31,998 I thought it was gonna take forever, but it was perfect. 271 00:11:32,081 --> 00:11:33,666 He really brings you into the world. 272 00:11:33,750 --> 00:11:36,461 Every minor character is so well thought out. 273 00:11:36,544 --> 00:11:38,463 The newsboy? You could see his whole life. 274 00:11:38,546 --> 00:11:40,965 And am I the only one who thought that the murderer's name 275 00:11:41,049 --> 00:11:42,693 - was in the song? - The murderer's name was in the song! 276 00:11:42,717 --> 00:11:44,594 - Ah. So good. - No notes. 277 00:11:44,677 --> 00:11:45,887 - Yeah. - Yeah. 278 00:11:47,263 --> 00:11:48,306 Well 279 00:11:49,724 --> 00:11:50,808 sex? 280 00:11:50,892 --> 00:11:52,226 - Yes! - Yeah? 281 00:11:52,310 --> 00:11:53,579 - Sex. - I'm ready if you're ready. 282 00:11:53,603 --> 00:11:55,730 - Yeah. Yeah. - All right. 283 00:11:55,813 --> 00:11:57,815 Just a short walk to our yurt. 284 00:11:58,816 --> 00:12:00,109 Unless we take the scenic route. 285 00:12:00,318 --> 00:12:01,444 - Oh. - Ooh. 286 00:12:01,527 --> 00:12:03,404 Nothing gets me in the mood like scenery. 287 00:12:03,488 --> 00:12:04,489 - Mmm? - Let's do that. 288 00:12:04,572 --> 00:12:06,699 - Yeah, let's go that way. - Yeah, let's do that. 289 00:12:10,828 --> 00:12:12,956 Perhaps you could find the perfect bun 290 00:12:13,039 --> 00:12:14,558 if… I don't know… You had your glasses. 291 00:12:14,582 --> 00:12:17,293 Oh. Oh, you know… You know who else has glasses? 292 00:12:17,377 --> 00:12:19,545 Six out of ten people in the developed world, 293 00:12:19,629 --> 00:12:21,339 including Robby and I? 294 00:12:21,422 --> 00:12:24,467 Jess, just give over to it. We're happy for you. 295 00:12:24,550 --> 00:12:26,844 Use your yurt. You have a world-class yurt. 296 00:12:26,928 --> 00:12:30,556 Yeah, and if this is about me and Robby dating years ago, trust me, 297 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:32,141 - it doesn't matter. - Mmm-mmm. 298 00:12:32,225 --> 00:12:33,452 We only did hand stuff, per his neurosis, 299 00:12:33,476 --> 00:12:35,228 so you totally have my blessing. 300 00:12:35,311 --> 00:12:36,354 Blessing for what? 301 00:12:36,437 --> 00:12:37,730 - This. - That. 302 00:12:37,814 --> 00:12:39,691 Ugh! Guys, I am not into Robby. 303 00:12:39,774 --> 00:12:41,651 And I could never date a guy who wears glasses 304 00:12:41,734 --> 00:12:43,820 because of the clown from my dreams. 305 00:12:44,696 --> 00:12:46,072 The clown who wears glasses. 306 00:12:47,824 --> 00:12:49,534 Oh, my God, that clown is me. 307 00:12:50,910 --> 00:12:53,329 - I'm not dating Robby, okay? - Hey. 308 00:12:53,413 --> 00:12:54,706 - Oh, Robby. - Oh, hey, Robby. 309 00:12:54,789 --> 00:12:55,891 I heard my name a bunch of times. 310 00:12:55,915 --> 00:12:57,518 I mean, I could tell that you weren't trying to call me in here, but, uh, 311 00:12:57,542 --> 00:12:59,085 my curiosity kicked in, so… 312 00:12:59,460 --> 00:13:01,814 A couple of us are gonna wander down and, uh, you know, tell some stories 313 00:13:01,838 --> 00:13:02,839 and, uh 314 00:13:05,508 --> 00:13:06,592 sing a few songs. 315 00:13:06,676 --> 00:13:09,512 That sounds great. Actually, you know who loves to sing? 316 00:13:09,595 --> 00:13:12,098 Actually, I've really been hating music lately. 317 00:13:12,181 --> 00:13:14,475 Come on, Jess, you're a whore for singin'. Please. 318 00:13:20,857 --> 00:13:23,568 I hear the drums echoing tonight. 319 00:13:24,235 --> 00:13:29,824 But she hears only Whispers of some quiet conversation. 320 00:13:32,535 --> 00:13:35,622 She's coming in, 12:30 flight. 321 00:13:35,705 --> 00:13:38,249 The moonlit wings reflect the stars. 322 00:13:38,333 --> 00:13:41,794 That guide me towards salvation… 323 00:13:42,754 --> 00:13:44,005 Damn it! 324 00:13:45,256 --> 00:13:46,859 Nick, if this is about notes, so help me God. 325 00:13:46,883 --> 00:13:48,843 I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna stop bugging you 326 00:13:48,926 --> 00:13:50,011 until you note me, Schmidt. 327 00:13:50,094 --> 00:13:51,334 All right, Nick. Here's a note. 328 00:13:51,387 --> 00:13:54,015 Stop cutting yourself off at the knees like a selfish coward. 329 00:13:54,098 --> 00:13:56,684 Okay, great, great. I love the direction we're going. 330 00:13:56,768 --> 00:13:58,662 We're getting more critical, but can you refocus to the writing? 331 00:13:58,686 --> 00:14:01,147 No, Nick, I cannot, and you want to know why? 332 00:14:01,230 --> 00:14:02,565 Because you are a writer. 333 00:14:02,815 --> 00:14:04,067 And a damn good one at that. 334 00:14:04,150 --> 00:14:06,194 But you're just too scared to admit it to yourself. 335 00:14:06,861 --> 00:14:07,946 Good-bye, sir. 336 00:14:08,529 --> 00:14:11,783 No! Damn, you raven-haired dandy boy. 337 00:14:11,866 --> 00:14:13,785 Yeah, thought carving our names 338 00:14:13,868 --> 00:14:15,912 - in the trees would have taken longer. - Yeah. 339 00:14:17,413 --> 00:14:20,541 So… Do you want… Want to have sex? 340 00:14:20,625 --> 00:14:22,919 Yeah. I think that's… Yeah, let's… 341 00:14:23,962 --> 00:14:27,256 Listen, Aly, I got to admit, I'm pretty tapped out. 342 00:14:27,340 --> 00:14:28,758 I… I'm sorry to say it like that, 343 00:14:28,841 --> 00:14:30,027 - but, you know, I'm… - No. Me, too! 344 00:14:30,051 --> 00:14:32,303 - We've had too much sex too fast! - I know! 345 00:14:32,387 --> 00:14:33,888 Why didn't we pace ourselves? 346 00:14:33,972 --> 00:14:35,390 I'm so exhausted. 347 00:14:35,473 --> 00:14:37,642 Oh, my gosh, I think this whole ordeal just illustrates 348 00:14:37,725 --> 00:14:39,894 why three months isn't three days. 349 00:14:39,978 --> 00:14:42,188 So happy you said that. 350 00:14:42,272 --> 00:14:44,440 I'm just happy to be in the same place as you. 351 00:14:44,524 --> 00:14:45,525 Me, too. 352 00:14:53,950 --> 00:14:57,954 And, you know, we did do it 13 times. 353 00:14:58,037 --> 00:15:00,290 - That's a lot. - That's a lot of times. 354 00:15:00,999 --> 00:15:03,334 - But you know what my favorite time was? - 11? 355 00:15:03,418 --> 00:15:05,128 11. You knew. 356 00:15:05,211 --> 00:15:06,754 Oh, I knew. 11 was great. 357 00:15:06,963 --> 00:15:08,631 Mmm. Maybe we should do 11 again. 358 00:15:08,715 --> 00:15:11,676 But this time I'm the mermaid. 359 00:15:12,593 --> 00:15:14,429 Okay. I'm the mermaid. 360 00:15:14,512 --> 00:15:16,014 No, I'm the mermaid. 361 00:15:16,889 --> 00:15:18,850 - Kind of, uh… Yeah, right there. - Perfect. 362 00:15:18,933 --> 00:15:21,978 - Get your butt down there. - Come here! 363 00:15:22,061 --> 00:15:23,146 Whoo! 364 00:15:24,188 --> 00:15:28,901 It's gonna take a lot To drag me away from you. 365 00:15:29,068 --> 00:15:33,865 There's nothing that a hundred men Or more could ever do. 366 00:15:34,407 --> 00:15:37,952 I bless the rains down in Africa… 367 00:15:38,036 --> 00:15:39,078 This is electric. 368 00:15:39,829 --> 00:15:41,039 I bless the rains. 369 00:15:41,122 --> 00:15:43,374 Down in Africa 370 00:15:43,458 --> 00:15:44,709 I bless the rain 371 00:15:44,792 --> 00:15:46,502 I bless the rains. 372 00:15:46,586 --> 00:15:49,505 Down in Africa. 373 00:15:49,589 --> 00:15:51,674 Gonna take some time. 374 00:15:51,758 --> 00:15:55,928 To do the things we never had. 375 00:15:56,012 --> 00:15:57,555 - Had… - Wait! Stop! 376 00:15:59,057 --> 00:16:00,391 I can't! 377 00:16:02,477 --> 00:16:03,645 You can't what? 378 00:16:05,396 --> 00:16:08,900 I can't ignore what's going on with Brenda and Hugh! 379 00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:10,652 We weren't doing anything! 380 00:16:10,735 --> 00:16:12,375 I hope you guys were behaving, all right? 381 00:16:12,403 --> 00:16:13,714 Because you know what happens on strike two. 382 00:16:13,738 --> 00:16:14,822 Strike two and… 383 00:16:15,406 --> 00:16:16,966 Strike… You're not out on strike two, 384 00:16:17,033 --> 00:16:18,802 but, you know, strike two, you're on thin ice. 385 00:16:18,826 --> 00:16:20,411 Jess should be on thin ice. 386 00:16:20,495 --> 00:16:21,704 She took us on a couples trip! 387 00:16:21,829 --> 00:16:24,999 Yeah, that's like taking alcoholics to a brewery! 388 00:16:25,083 --> 00:16:27,377 Nobody here wants to hear from you, Hugh. 389 00:16:27,877 --> 00:16:29,003 You Hugh. 390 00:16:30,338 --> 00:16:31,714 You… Hugh. 391 00:16:31,798 --> 00:16:34,509 You made us hang out with your lame couples friends! 392 00:16:34,592 --> 00:16:36,570 - How are we lame? - There is no reason to attack us. 393 00:16:36,594 --> 00:16:39,514 And when singing Toto, why is it always "Africa"? 394 00:16:39,597 --> 00:16:41,391 - They've got a deep catalog! - Okay. 395 00:16:41,474 --> 00:16:42,976 Look, I think we can all agree 396 00:16:43,059 --> 00:16:44,995 that Jess is a very important member of this group. 397 00:16:45,019 --> 00:16:46,104 You hypocrite. 398 00:16:46,187 --> 00:16:48,856 Before you cast aspersions on anyone else, 399 00:16:49,023 --> 00:16:52,443 you need to take a good long look at yourself, Robby! 400 00:16:52,527 --> 00:16:53,671 - The emperor… - I don't even know 401 00:16:53,695 --> 00:16:55,735 - has no clothes! - Why we bothered coming here! 402 00:16:56,406 --> 00:16:58,032 And you sexualized Toto. 403 00:16:58,116 --> 00:16:59,117 No, you make a good… 404 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:01,244 I know those guys. They're good guys! 405 00:17:01,327 --> 00:17:02,453 Know what? Enough! 406 00:17:05,248 --> 00:17:06,541 Okay, I'm not, uh… 407 00:17:06,624 --> 00:17:09,419 Guys, I'm not actually gonna smash my guitar to get your attention. 408 00:17:09,502 --> 00:17:12,005 But listen, I don't want you to lose faith in this group. 409 00:17:12,213 --> 00:17:13,464 Okay? Just… 410 00:17:13,881 --> 00:17:15,133 Lose faith in me. 411 00:17:16,134 --> 00:17:18,678 Because you're right. I have been a hypocrite. Uh… 412 00:17:21,347 --> 00:17:23,224 I do have feelings for Jess. 413 00:17:24,309 --> 00:17:25,351 Ooh. 414 00:17:26,519 --> 00:17:29,230 Just… He didn't say what kind of feelings. 415 00:17:29,314 --> 00:17:31,232 They're sexual and romantic feelings. 416 00:17:31,399 --> 00:17:32,942 - Oh, wow. - Oh, boy. 417 00:17:33,234 --> 00:17:34,485 Well, what do you know? 418 00:17:38,865 --> 00:17:40,617 I'm really sorry about last night. 419 00:17:40,700 --> 00:17:41,701 Where's the group? 420 00:17:42,076 --> 00:17:44,829 The group is kind of permanently done. 421 00:17:45,121 --> 00:17:46,706 Robby sent out a final e-mail. 422 00:17:46,789 --> 00:17:50,084 It was in Latin, uh, and it was in this gothic font. 423 00:17:50,168 --> 00:17:51,628 I'm kind of worried about him. 424 00:17:51,711 --> 00:17:53,504 Why don't you give the guy a chance, Jess? 425 00:17:55,131 --> 00:17:56,507 I'm not interested right now. 426 00:17:56,591 --> 00:17:58,235 So, what, are you just gonna give up on love, 427 00:17:58,259 --> 00:18:00,887 - be alone forever? Like… - No, you know me. I love love! 428 00:18:01,679 --> 00:18:04,098 Anything in pairs makes me choked up. 429 00:18:04,557 --> 00:18:07,602 Shoes, socks, chopsticks. 430 00:18:09,771 --> 00:18:11,856 I'm just in kind of a confusing place right now, 431 00:18:11,940 --> 00:18:13,733 and I think you guys know why. 432 00:18:16,277 --> 00:18:17,403 It's about Nick, right? 433 00:18:17,487 --> 00:18:19,256 - Yes, of course we are talking about Nick. - I knew it. 434 00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:20,341 Yes, I'm talking about Nick. 435 00:18:20,365 --> 00:18:22,033 - I knew it. - I knew it. 436 00:18:22,116 --> 00:18:23,552 But, look, I want you to know something. 437 00:18:23,576 --> 00:18:25,995 I'm really, really happy being single right now. 438 00:18:27,205 --> 00:18:29,832 I'm sorry if my group ruined your weekend. 439 00:18:30,083 --> 00:18:31,560 They're really cool people if you get to know them. 440 00:18:31,584 --> 00:18:32,585 I'm sure. 441 00:18:32,669 --> 00:18:33,938 - Yeah. - Oh, my God, I have to go. 442 00:18:33,962 --> 00:18:35,505 Foster got a corn chip in his eye. 443 00:18:35,922 --> 00:18:38,174 Okay, you know what? We need to make a pact 444 00:18:38,257 --> 00:18:41,052 to befriend at least one other married couple. 445 00:18:41,135 --> 00:18:42,595 Yeah, but how are we gonna do that? 446 00:18:42,679 --> 00:18:44,823 We don't have a kid, and I refuse to take cooking classes. 447 00:18:44,847 --> 00:18:47,034 I don't know. Maybe we just go to a Norah Jones concert, 448 00:18:47,058 --> 00:18:48,893 stand outside and look lost. 449 00:18:51,271 --> 00:18:52,939 Well, Schmidty, you pulled a real 450 00:18:53,022 --> 00:18:56,442 Mr. Miyagi on the whole "no notes, tough love" routine. 451 00:18:56,526 --> 00:18:57,527 Let me see it. 452 00:18:58,987 --> 00:19:01,322 Ooh! Nick, there's a whole another chapter here. 453 00:19:01,406 --> 00:19:02,566 How did you make this happen? 454 00:19:02,615 --> 00:19:04,909 - I worked because of you. - And 455 00:19:06,327 --> 00:19:10,707 who is this wise, denim-clad Jewish chaplain? 456 00:19:11,207 --> 00:19:12,458 Schmith? 457 00:19:12,542 --> 00:19:13,584 That was the big thing. 458 00:19:14,294 --> 00:19:17,630 You helped me realize that Pepperwood needed a Schmidt. 459 00:19:17,714 --> 00:19:20,133 Okay. While it's an honor 460 00:19:20,216 --> 00:19:23,136 to be included in the world that you've created here, 461 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,722 um. 462 00:19:25,805 --> 00:19:28,933 The Schmith character seems, uh, grotesque. 463 00:19:29,017 --> 00:19:30,411 - Yeah, he's unlikeable. - I don't understand why, 464 00:19:30,435 --> 00:19:33,563 when we meet this character, he's kicking a puppy. 465 00:19:33,646 --> 00:19:36,065 He's the bad guy in Pepperwood's life. 466 00:19:36,399 --> 00:19:37,609 He's mean, he's… 467 00:19:38,109 --> 00:19:40,212 He's not somebody you want to introduce to Mom and Dad. 468 00:19:40,236 --> 00:19:42,214 - The cha… The character. - Schmith is a dirt bag. 469 00:19:42,238 --> 00:19:45,325 I have no respect for Schmith, and neither should anybody else. 470 00:19:45,408 --> 00:19:47,720 I think that's a mistake to say those things about the character. 471 00:19:47,744 --> 00:19:50,264 I appreciate what you're saying, but I'm happy with what I have. 472 00:19:50,580 --> 00:19:52,624 - I don't need any notes. - Oh, now it's no notes? 473 00:19:52,707 --> 00:19:54,500 Nick? Nick? 474 00:19:56,085 --> 00:19:57,337 Sit anywhere? 475 00:20:08,097 --> 00:20:09,182 What's up, Robby? 476 00:20:09,265 --> 00:20:10,945 Hey, sorry. I'll leave. I was almost done. 477 00:20:11,017 --> 00:20:12,393 No! You'll ruin your food! 478 00:20:12,477 --> 00:20:14,062 Yeah, just like I ruined the group. 479 00:20:14,145 --> 00:20:15,980 You didn't ruin anything. We're… 480 00:20:16,689 --> 00:20:18,399 - We're still hanging out. - Really? 481 00:20:18,858 --> 00:20:21,152 Okay, so could you guys vote me back in maybe? 482 00:20:21,235 --> 00:20:23,071 We voted to get rid of voting. 483 00:20:23,154 --> 00:20:25,114 It's the same, just, uh, without the rules. 484 00:20:29,243 --> 00:20:30,721 Jess, I don't really know what to say. 485 00:20:30,745 --> 00:20:31,955 Don't say anything. 486 00:20:32,038 --> 00:20:33,331 It's fine. I'm just gonna read. 487 00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:37,126 Um, Winston gave me a copy of Nick's book. 488 00:20:37,251 --> 00:20:39,170 It's actually pretty good. 489 00:20:39,253 --> 00:20:40,755 Um… 490 00:20:41,089 --> 00:20:42,423 Except the foreword says, 491 00:20:42,507 --> 00:20:44,425 "Best enjoyed with shrimp cocktail." 492 00:20:45,551 --> 00:20:47,220 You can go back to your crossword puzzle. 493 00:20:47,303 --> 00:20:48,888 - It's a word search. - Oh. 494 00:20:56,813 --> 00:20:58,231 - Hey, Robby? - Hmm? 495 00:20:59,899 --> 00:21:02,819 Should… Should we just share a table? Is that crazy? 496 00:21:03,569 --> 00:21:04,880 I don't think it's crazy at all. Do you? 497 00:21:04,904 --> 00:21:07,865 - No. I mean, I suggested it, so, no. - Yeah. 498 00:21:07,949 --> 00:21:09,826 - Okay. - Oh, thanks. 499 00:21:13,705 --> 00:21:17,458 Ooh, ooh, ooh. 500 00:21:19,919 --> 00:21:23,256 Ooh, ooh, ooh… 501 00:21:24,132 --> 00:21:25,300 Hey, Jess? 502 00:21:27,010 --> 00:21:28,011 Um… 503 00:21:29,387 --> 00:21:31,222 I just found the word "locomotive," 504 00:21:31,306 --> 00:21:33,057 backwards and diagonal. 505 00:21:33,141 --> 00:21:36,853 Saint Laurent built in the '70s. 506 00:21:38,146 --> 00:21:42,859 No intelligent thing left to say