1 00:00:00,407 --> 00:00:03,535 Welcome to the ceremonial lighting of the first burner. 2 00:00:03,952 --> 00:00:05,453 Come on, Susan! 3 00:00:05,996 --> 00:00:07,080 There it is! 4 00:00:07,163 --> 00:00:08,456 - Aah! - Thanksgiving! 5 00:00:08,540 --> 00:00:10,917 - It is 7:00 a.m. - I've actually been up for two hours. 6 00:00:11,209 --> 00:00:13,336 Let's do this! Perfect Thanksgiving! 7 00:00:13,420 --> 00:00:14,981 Reagan's coming today, and I want everything 8 00:00:15,005 --> 00:00:17,090 to be great for the guest of honor. 9 00:00:17,173 --> 00:00:18,675 Oh, the guest of honor? 10 00:00:18,758 --> 00:00:19,843 Yeah, the guest of honor. 11 00:00:19,926 --> 00:00:21,886 I guess my dad spending Thanksgiving with me 12 00:00:21,970 --> 00:00:23,489 for the first time ever is a non-event. 13 00:00:23,513 --> 00:00:26,016 - Ooh. Is he bringing his new squoosh? - Hmm? 14 00:00:26,099 --> 00:00:27,309 Is that a thing people say? 15 00:00:27,392 --> 00:00:28,393 - No. - Mmm-mmm. 16 00:00:28,476 --> 00:00:31,229 Well, his "squoosh" has a name, and it's Ann Kim. 17 00:00:31,313 --> 00:00:32,915 She's probably gonna want to spend some time 18 00:00:32,939 --> 00:00:34,292 with you ladies, too, because you know 19 00:00:34,316 --> 00:00:36,036 how fathers and sons can be on Thanksgiving. 20 00:00:36,067 --> 00:00:39,988 Drinking beer, watching the game, hugging each other in a way 21 00:00:40,071 --> 00:00:42,616 that suggests, "I forgive you for every for everything." 22 00:00:42,699 --> 00:00:43,884 Okay, look, I know you're excited, 23 00:00:43,908 --> 00:00:46,036 but maybe don't put so much pressure on it, you know? 24 00:00:46,119 --> 00:00:48,038 I mean, we all… We all know who your dad is. 25 00:00:48,121 --> 00:00:50,165 Who he was. Who he was, though. 26 00:00:50,248 --> 00:00:52,685 Just don't expect too much. Just be happy that he's coming at all. 27 00:00:52,709 --> 00:00:54,629 - So what time's Robby coming? - He's not coming. 28 00:00:54,711 --> 00:00:56,046 He is going to visit his folks. 29 00:00:56,129 --> 00:00:57,464 What's your guys' deal now? 30 00:00:57,547 --> 00:01:00,267 Are you actually together, or are you just nursing him back to health 31 00:01:00,342 --> 00:01:02,022 'cause you broke his entire body and face? 32 00:01:02,052 --> 00:01:05,263 We are not together, but I don't think Robby understands that. 33 00:01:05,347 --> 00:01:06,514 I wonder why, Jess. 34 00:01:06,598 --> 00:01:08,683 You only hang out with him 24/7. 35 00:01:09,059 --> 00:01:11,227 Come on, baby, make it hurt so… 36 00:01:13,271 --> 00:01:16,066 I feel mean telling him we're not dating when he's in this state. 37 00:01:16,149 --> 00:01:20,904 It is a lot meaner to lead him on, okay? You got to drop the hammer. 38 00:01:20,987 --> 00:01:23,615 I know. You're right. I'll do it next time I see him. 39 00:01:23,698 --> 00:01:26,201 I'm just dreading it. He's such a good egg. 40 00:01:26,284 --> 00:01:30,705 I mean, with his dad khakis and his glasses and his, his… 41 00:01:31,081 --> 00:01:32,749 His sweet little change purse. 42 00:01:33,124 --> 00:01:36,086 You know what? That's it. He's too nice. 43 00:01:36,169 --> 00:01:38,546 - There's just no oomph. - Yeah. It's non-negotiable. 44 00:01:38,630 --> 00:01:39,714 You got to have the oomph. 45 00:01:39,798 --> 00:01:42,842 Yeah, oomph was all Cece and I had when we started oomphing. 46 00:01:42,926 --> 00:01:44,219 Oh, "oomph" is sex. 47 00:01:44,302 --> 00:01:46,054 Why say that stupid word? Just say "sex." 48 00:01:46,137 --> 00:01:47,889 Oh, because it's more than that, Nick. 49 00:01:47,973 --> 00:01:49,766 It's fire. It's passion. 50 00:01:49,849 --> 00:01:51,726 - It's ha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha. - Mmm. 51 00:01:51,810 --> 00:01:53,287 And there's no ha-cha-cha with Robby. 52 00:01:53,311 --> 00:01:56,022 - He's too nice. - Well, look, Jess, do what you got to, 53 00:01:56,106 --> 00:01:57,273 but I love that guy. 54 00:01:57,357 --> 00:01:58,900 Robby was there for me 55 00:01:58,984 --> 00:02:01,277 when I got hurt in the line of duty. 56 00:02:02,821 --> 00:02:05,865 Winston, you sprained your ankle running for a bagel. 57 00:02:05,949 --> 00:02:08,201 - Yeah. I was at work, though. - Running for a bagel. 58 00:02:08,285 --> 00:02:10,328 Look, Robby's the only one who understands my pain. 59 00:02:10,412 --> 00:02:13,039 Well, nothing makes me happier than cooking for ten hours 60 00:02:13,123 --> 00:02:15,917 and eating in under 25 minutes. Chant me in. 61 00:02:16,001 --> 00:02:20,338 Stuff that bird! Stuff that bird! Stuff that bird! 62 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:22,590 Guess who's too injured to fly? 63 00:02:23,091 --> 00:02:24,301 Is it you? 64 00:02:29,472 --> 00:02:31,867 Don't get me wrong. I mean, I feel, I feel like I'm holding the long end 65 00:02:31,891 --> 00:02:35,603 of the wishbone right now, but, um, why wouldn't they let you on the plane? 66 00:02:35,979 --> 00:02:37,272 There was a fit issue. 67 00:02:37,355 --> 00:02:38,857 I'm sorry. All right. 68 00:02:39,024 --> 00:02:40,150 I'm so sorry. Oh! Oh! 69 00:02:40,233 --> 00:02:41,335 - Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. - Whoa. Whoa. 70 00:02:41,359 --> 00:02:42,902 - No, no, no, it's fine. - Oh! Oh! 71 00:02:43,194 --> 00:02:46,156 Well, at least you had the fun of going to the airport on Thanksgiving. 72 00:02:46,239 --> 00:02:48,700 And I get to hang out with you. 73 00:02:49,367 --> 00:02:51,578 Yay! And boo! 74 00:02:51,661 --> 00:02:54,414 Because I already have plans with a 15-pound cutie. 75 00:02:54,497 --> 00:02:56,708 I'm talking about the turkey. 76 00:02:56,791 --> 00:02:59,085 Listen, I'm gonna plant you in front of the parade, 77 00:02:59,169 --> 00:03:01,796 and you're gonna yell out what balloons go by! 78 00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:02,881 Okay. Okay. 79 00:03:02,964 --> 00:03:04,150 The start of the parade just… 80 00:03:04,174 --> 00:03:06,593 With the speed? 81 00:03:06,676 --> 00:03:08,029 He like Mayweather with the knife! 82 00:03:08,053 --> 00:03:09,304 Okay, what is going on? 83 00:03:09,387 --> 00:03:11,347 Because you don't even use a knife to eat a steak? 84 00:03:11,389 --> 00:03:13,850 Well, my girl is coming. Of course my hands are dancing. 85 00:03:13,933 --> 00:03:16,936 These knives are a part of me like that, uh, scissor hand guy. 86 00:03:17,020 --> 00:03:18,772 What is his name again? Is it Rick Snip? 87 00:03:18,855 --> 00:03:21,358 - Did you drop the hammer? - I have not dropped the hammer. 88 00:03:21,441 --> 00:03:22,817 Snoopy! Saw Snoopy. 89 00:03:22,901 --> 00:03:24,903 Okay, no. You… You got to end this. 90 00:03:24,986 --> 00:03:27,656 False alarm. It's just John Stamos on a Greek yogurt float. 91 00:03:27,739 --> 00:03:28,949 Drop the hammer now? 92 00:03:29,032 --> 00:03:32,160 He can't even tell the difference between John Stamos and Snoopy. 93 00:03:32,243 --> 00:03:33,995 You can't break a man's heart on a holiday. 94 00:03:34,079 --> 00:03:35,473 I'm telling you, it happened to me once, 95 00:03:35,497 --> 00:03:38,375 and that pain… It comes back year after year after year. 96 00:03:38,625 --> 00:03:40,269 You don't want to do that to him, I'm telling you. 97 00:03:40,293 --> 00:03:42,933 That's why I'm always a hot mess on take-your-daughter-to-work day. 98 00:03:42,963 --> 00:03:45,340 Uh-oh. It's the senior citizens choir. 99 00:03:45,423 --> 00:03:46,549 Get the tissues! 100 00:03:46,633 --> 00:03:49,135 Look, I'll tell you what, Jess. I'll keep him busy for the day. 101 00:03:49,219 --> 00:03:50,428 You can destroy him tomorrow. 102 00:03:50,512 --> 00:03:53,682 Thank you, Winston. You know what? Next take-your-daughter-to-work-day 103 00:03:53,765 --> 00:03:56,142 is gonna be take-Winston-out-for-spaghetti day. 104 00:03:56,977 --> 00:03:58,228 I would enjoy that. 105 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,188 I would enjoy that for real. 106 00:04:01,940 --> 00:04:03,566 Ooh, it's my daddy! 107 00:04:04,192 --> 00:04:05,360 It's my daddy! 108 00:04:05,986 --> 00:04:07,195 Gobble, gobble. 109 00:04:07,278 --> 00:04:09,030 Happy Thanksgiving, son. 110 00:04:09,906 --> 00:04:12,051 I hope you're ready, 'cause I have a full day planned for us. 111 00:04:12,075 --> 00:04:15,662 First up is a game of American football featuring the Cowboys of Dallas. 112 00:04:17,664 --> 00:04:18,915 I'm sorry. 113 00:04:20,417 --> 00:04:21,852 It's our first Thanksgiving together. 114 00:04:21,876 --> 00:04:25,588 Look, I've been crying all morning, too. It's… This is a good thing. 115 00:04:26,589 --> 00:04:27,882 Ann Kim broke up with me. 116 00:04:28,675 --> 00:04:31,094 - Oh, no. - Excuse me. 117 00:04:31,469 --> 00:04:32,595 Da… 118 00:04:32,679 --> 00:04:34,431 Gavin! Happy Thanksgiving. 119 00:04:34,764 --> 00:04:37,350 - Hey, Gavin. - It just got a whole lot happier. 120 00:04:38,059 --> 00:04:39,060 Excuse me. 121 00:04:41,187 --> 00:04:42,188 Daddy? 122 00:04:43,815 --> 00:04:45,575 You remember when you tongue-kissed that guy? 123 00:04:49,070 --> 00:04:52,198 Now this marching band has traveled 1,500 miles… 124 00:04:52,282 --> 00:04:54,284 What you taking? Little boy blues? 125 00:04:54,367 --> 00:04:56,911 Yeah, I've been there. How many miggies you working with? 126 00:04:56,995 --> 00:04:58,788 Yeah, my pharmacist bumped me up to nine. 127 00:04:58,872 --> 00:05:03,835 1,400. Yeah, I have to take 18 pills an hour in a very specific order, 128 00:05:03,918 --> 00:05:06,671 and they virtually assured me that I will be addicted to them. 129 00:05:07,380 --> 00:05:09,090 - Hey. - Hey. 130 00:05:09,799 --> 00:05:11,426 Hey, what happened to Rick Snip? 131 00:05:11,509 --> 00:05:14,095 Uh, gone and, uh 132 00:05:14,179 --> 00:05:16,264 these tears… Honestly, they're from the onions. 133 00:05:16,348 --> 00:05:17,641 They're not from Reagan bailing. 134 00:05:18,266 --> 00:05:19,768 Oh, no. Reagan's not coming? 135 00:05:19,851 --> 00:05:21,353 No. She just called. 136 00:05:21,436 --> 00:05:24,439 Uh, her boss sent her to Omaha, so she can't make it, but it's fine. 137 00:05:24,522 --> 00:05:26,274 Oh, I'm sorry, Nick. 138 00:05:27,192 --> 00:05:29,903 I also wear a slow-release opium patch on my spine. 139 00:05:31,071 --> 00:05:32,173 Hey, I ever told you the story 140 00:05:32,197 --> 00:05:33,674 - of how I got injured in the first place? - Yes. 141 00:05:33,698 --> 00:05:38,453 One may think that it started because of a lack of bagels, but no. 142 00:05:38,787 --> 00:05:40,830 It started with a surplus 143 00:05:40,914 --> 00:05:42,308 - of cream cheese. - Of cream cheese. 144 00:05:42,332 --> 00:05:44,376 Yes, yes, you're familiar with such happening. 145 00:05:44,542 --> 00:05:46,020 You know what? I think Jess told me to help her… 146 00:05:46,044 --> 00:05:47,164 No, no, no, no. You're good. 147 00:05:47,212 --> 00:05:49,339 Uh, lock you up. 148 00:05:49,422 --> 00:05:51,883 I'm sure she's bummed, too. How long is she gonna be there? 149 00:05:51,967 --> 00:05:54,803 No idea. I didn't ask. I just said, "Happy Thanksgiving." 150 00:06:04,229 --> 00:06:05,397 And then I hung up. 151 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:07,240 Okay, you're gonna have to leave the kitchen. 152 00:06:07,273 --> 00:06:09,067 The whole sad-guy, whiskey, flame combination 153 00:06:09,150 --> 00:06:10,910 - is starting to worry me. - Let me know when 154 00:06:10,986 --> 00:06:13,363 my whiskey boils down to a crystal so I can eat it. 155 00:06:16,032 --> 00:06:17,312 Hey, Dad, are you okay in there? 156 00:06:18,201 --> 00:06:19,411 Did you fall in? 157 00:06:19,494 --> 00:06:21,162 That's a dad joke that I would assumed 158 00:06:21,246 --> 00:06:23,099 I would have heard you make had you been around more. 159 00:06:23,123 --> 00:06:25,125 I want you to know I'm not using the bathroom. 160 00:06:25,208 --> 00:06:26,626 I'm just sitting here. 161 00:06:26,710 --> 00:06:29,421 Hey, Dad, you know what's a great cure for heartache? 162 00:06:29,879 --> 00:06:31,381 A little father-and-son time. 163 00:06:31,464 --> 00:06:34,384 You know, we could have a catch, whittle a stick. 164 00:06:34,676 --> 00:06:37,220 Why don't you just come out? 165 00:06:38,263 --> 00:06:40,015 I'm sorry, son. You're right. 166 00:06:40,557 --> 00:06:41,933 Today is about family. 167 00:06:42,017 --> 00:06:43,143 - Yeah. - Yeah. Exactly. 168 00:06:43,226 --> 00:06:44,936 There's my favorite whiskey glass. 169 00:06:45,353 --> 00:06:48,356 - Aah. Who wants to get wasted? - Me. So badly. 170 00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:49,566 Da… 171 00:06:49,983 --> 00:06:52,944 - Ugh. I'm so sorry, babe. - Yeah. No. I'm… I'm fine. 172 00:06:53,028 --> 00:06:56,197 Look, we don't wear sweaters and roll around in the leaves, 173 00:06:56,281 --> 00:06:57,881 but there are other ways for us to bond. 174 00:06:57,949 --> 00:07:00,952 If he wants to drink, then, you know what? I'm gonna drink. 175 00:07:01,119 --> 00:07:03,413 I'm gonna get sloppy with my poppy. 176 00:07:03,496 --> 00:07:07,542 Nick. Papa! Wait for me. Just need to get my bitters kit. 177 00:07:07,626 --> 00:07:09,377 Ooh, actually, can you just make sure 178 00:07:09,461 --> 00:07:10,688 that there's a garbage can next to the bed? 179 00:07:10,712 --> 00:07:12,714 Because I can't hang. 180 00:07:16,134 --> 00:07:17,510 Robby! 181 00:07:17,594 --> 00:07:19,614 What are you doing here with me and not with Winston? 182 00:07:19,638 --> 00:07:22,557 I like Winston, but he's been telling this bagel story for ten minutes. 183 00:07:22,641 --> 00:07:24,452 I haven't even met all the main characters yet. 184 00:07:24,476 --> 00:07:26,227 Plus, I have a little surprise for you. 185 00:07:26,311 --> 00:07:27,604 To make up for this morning, 186 00:07:27,687 --> 00:07:30,273 the airline gave me two free tickets 187 00:07:30,357 --> 00:07:32,567 to anywhere in the contiguous 48 states. 188 00:07:32,651 --> 00:07:34,194 Oh. Ha. 189 00:07:34,277 --> 00:07:36,071 Well, I'd love to, you know, plan our future, 190 00:07:36,154 --> 00:07:39,407 but we're eating in under four hours, and so I have to put you to work. 191 00:07:39,491 --> 00:07:41,534 - Okay, you just, crouton. - Oh. 192 00:07:41,618 --> 00:07:42,827 All right. Keep croutonning. 193 00:07:42,911 --> 00:07:44,955 Okay, I'm not that close to the table. 194 00:07:47,123 --> 00:07:48,124 Darn it. 195 00:07:48,917 --> 00:07:50,519 - I was just in the bathroom… - Nothing but net. 196 00:07:50,543 --> 00:07:52,170 With my husband and his father. 197 00:07:52,337 --> 00:07:55,137 - Are you also having a good Thanksgiving? - Hey, Jess. Check this out. 198 00:07:56,508 --> 00:07:57,592 Did that go in? 199 00:07:57,676 --> 00:07:59,260 - Robby got plane tickets… - Swish. 200 00:07:59,344 --> 00:08:01,280 - And he wants to whisk my away… - Nothing but bowl. 201 00:08:01,304 --> 00:08:04,808 Once he gets better, which could be months from now. 202 00:08:04,891 --> 00:08:06,452 Jess, I'm looking up some hotels right now. 203 00:08:06,476 --> 00:08:07,894 Twin bed's okay, right? 204 00:08:08,770 --> 00:08:09,896 Hammer time? 205 00:08:10,563 --> 00:08:11,856 Hammer time. 206 00:08:15,235 --> 00:08:17,112 - Cheers. - Yes, sir. 207 00:08:17,570 --> 00:08:18,613 Oh. 208 00:08:18,697 --> 00:08:20,031 This is the dream. 209 00:08:20,115 --> 00:08:23,660 A boy, his dad, his best friend sharing a drink. 210 00:08:24,202 --> 00:08:25,412 Don't tell Mom, right? 211 00:08:25,954 --> 00:08:27,497 I'm just kidding. 212 00:08:27,580 --> 00:08:30,292 I know you and Mom haven't spoken in 30 years, including my wedding. 213 00:08:30,792 --> 00:08:32,043 You know what's stupid? 214 00:08:32,377 --> 00:08:33,980 There's a part of me that actually thought 215 00:08:34,004 --> 00:08:35,964 I might have a wedding with Ann Kim someday. 216 00:08:36,047 --> 00:08:37,716 I don't think that's stupid at all, Dad. 217 00:08:37,799 --> 00:08:39,301 I think that's beautiful. 218 00:08:39,384 --> 00:08:42,929 You know, you opened up your heart to Ann Kim and that's brave. 219 00:08:43,013 --> 00:08:44,764 Maybe she was just scared. You know women. 220 00:08:44,848 --> 00:08:45,849 They're a mystery. 221 00:08:45,932 --> 00:08:47,243 Yeah, sometimes they just go to Omaha 222 00:08:47,267 --> 00:08:48,494 and you don't know when they're gonna come back. 223 00:08:48,518 --> 00:08:49,853 Or if they're coming back. 224 00:08:49,936 --> 00:08:51,247 How do you even know she's in Omaha? 225 00:08:51,271 --> 00:08:53,189 Oh, because, uh, she said she was. 226 00:08:55,734 --> 00:08:58,403 - Nothing means anything. - Nothing means anything. 227 00:08:58,486 --> 00:09:01,281 - Nothing means anything. - At least you're young, Nick. 228 00:09:01,364 --> 00:09:03,908 You got a rocking bod with kickass buns. 229 00:09:03,992 --> 00:09:05,344 You're not gonna have any problems. 230 00:09:05,368 --> 00:09:07,245 Who's gonna want an old guy like me? 231 00:09:08,997 --> 00:09:10,332 I've got garbage buns. 232 00:09:10,415 --> 00:09:12,435 What? Are you out of your mind? Dad, you've got fantastic buns. 233 00:09:12,459 --> 00:09:13,668 - You think? - I'm telling you, 234 00:09:13,752 --> 00:09:15,730 you've got nothing to worry about. Nick, stand up, put your buns 235 00:09:15,754 --> 00:09:17,898 - next to each other, so… Here. - What is happening here? 236 00:09:17,922 --> 00:09:20,550 I'm not doing anybody any favors today. I'm a bummer. 237 00:09:20,634 --> 00:09:22,862 Probably the best thing I could do would be to head home. 238 00:09:22,886 --> 00:09:24,155 See you later, man. Nice to see you again. 239 00:09:24,179 --> 00:09:27,682 Dad, stay. Look, you're gonna land on your feet. 240 00:09:27,766 --> 00:09:31,227 I've see… I've seen all kinds of women throw themselves at you. 241 00:09:31,645 --> 00:09:34,397 Lifeguards and teachers, lens crafters. 242 00:09:34,481 --> 00:09:36,401 Remember when you had your tongue in Jess' mouth? 243 00:09:36,441 --> 00:09:39,402 She tasted like licorice… Sweet but with a bite. 244 00:09:39,486 --> 00:09:40,766 Not… You're not helping, Nick. 245 00:09:40,820 --> 00:09:42,131 Actually, you know what? Can I see you in the hallway, please? 246 00:09:42,155 --> 00:09:43,406 Why? 247 00:09:49,788 --> 00:09:51,915 Nick, we have got to go to Ann Kim's house 248 00:09:51,998 --> 00:09:53,809 and convince her to give my dad a second chance. 249 00:09:53,833 --> 00:09:55,210 It's the only way he's gonna stay. 250 00:09:55,293 --> 00:09:56,604 She's not gonna come. She's a snake. 251 00:09:56,628 --> 00:09:57,754 All women are snakes. 252 00:09:57,837 --> 00:09:59,357 I understand that you're spinning out about Reagan. 253 00:09:59,381 --> 00:10:01,424 I'm spinning out about Reagan. 254 00:10:01,508 --> 00:10:04,844 I get it, but you have to help me save my Thanksgiving with my dad. 255 00:10:04,928 --> 00:10:06,388 You're right. I'm so sorry. 256 00:10:06,471 --> 00:10:07,681 We can pull this off. 257 00:10:08,098 --> 00:10:09,599 If we get her to take him back… 258 00:10:09,683 --> 00:10:11,309 - Then we'd be heroes. - That's right. 259 00:10:13,269 --> 00:10:15,563 Look at that, Mom, I'm gonna be a hero. 260 00:10:16,272 --> 00:10:18,209 Why are you looking up? Your mother is still alive. 261 00:10:18,233 --> 00:10:20,527 - I'm looking at Chicago. - You think Chicago is up? 262 00:10:20,610 --> 00:10:21,653 It's north. 263 00:10:22,362 --> 00:10:24,489 Robby, you're a great guy, 264 00:10:24,572 --> 00:10:26,992 but nothing is ever gonna happen between us. 265 00:10:27,701 --> 00:10:29,411 However, someday you're gonna open 266 00:10:29,494 --> 00:10:31,288 a really wonderful bed and breakfast. 267 00:10:31,371 --> 00:10:32,515 - That was pretty good. - I mean, right? 268 00:10:32,539 --> 00:10:35,250 Can you imagine the wine and cheese hour he would put on? 269 00:10:35,333 --> 00:10:36,519 Stuff the toga with hot coals. 270 00:10:36,543 --> 00:10:37,783 - We're going out. - What? Wait. 271 00:10:37,836 --> 00:10:40,297 Have a place setting at the table for Ann Kim, 272 00:10:40,964 --> 00:10:42,924 but don't seat her next to my dad. 273 00:10:43,133 --> 00:10:44,801 I want all the couples split up. 274 00:10:44,884 --> 00:10:46,404 Everybody gets to talk that way, but, uh… 275 00:10:46,428 --> 00:10:47,948 - And then put me next to Nick. - Yeah. 276 00:10:48,013 --> 00:10:49,431 And then my dad next to me as well. 277 00:10:49,514 --> 00:10:51,599 So I'm sandwiched between Nick and my dad. 278 00:10:51,683 --> 00:10:53,202 You guys can't leave. We need you here. 279 00:10:53,226 --> 00:10:55,937 - Well, I need a happy daddy. - He needs a happy daddy. 280 00:10:56,021 --> 00:10:57,623 If they never come back, the last words I'll have heard 281 00:10:57,647 --> 00:11:00,608 my husband say are "happy daddy." 282 00:11:00,692 --> 00:11:01,860 Okay, good luck. 283 00:11:05,947 --> 00:11:07,991 Oh, smells great. 284 00:11:08,575 --> 00:11:10,577 That's just my famous gravy. 285 00:11:10,660 --> 00:11:13,288 The trick is, um, a pinch of brown sugar 286 00:11:13,371 --> 00:11:15,624 and then a couple more handfuls of brown sugar. 287 00:11:15,707 --> 00:11:17,626 Actually, uh, just a lot of brown sugar. 288 00:11:17,709 --> 00:11:19,794 Ann Kim loves gravy. 289 00:11:20,587 --> 00:11:22,380 Big dogs, small horses, 290 00:11:23,214 --> 00:11:25,342 the smell of rain, and gasoline. 291 00:11:27,135 --> 00:11:29,137 Oh, Gavin. 292 00:11:29,220 --> 00:11:31,473 You're a handsome 293 00:11:31,556 --> 00:11:34,559 and passionate and charismatic man. 294 00:11:35,060 --> 00:11:36,269 You and me. 295 00:11:37,020 --> 00:11:38,438 We really had something. 296 00:11:38,521 --> 00:11:40,231 What do you say we give it another shot? 297 00:11:40,315 --> 00:11:43,109 Let's just drive and drive and drive. 298 00:11:43,193 --> 00:11:45,779 I know what I'm not thankful for this year. 299 00:11:46,780 --> 00:11:48,239 This. This is it. 300 00:11:48,323 --> 00:11:50,509 - Robby, this is not what it looks… - Don't say anything. 301 00:11:50,533 --> 00:11:53,012 I… I don't even know where to begin, so I'll just start by saying 302 00:11:53,036 --> 00:11:54,871 that is smells delicious in here. 303 00:11:55,538 --> 00:11:56,539 I'm gonna leave. 304 00:11:58,333 --> 00:11:59,417 Just… 305 00:12:02,671 --> 00:12:03,713 Hold on a second. 306 00:12:12,472 --> 00:12:16,267 Hey, Ann Kim! Show your face, you cold-hearted zombie! 307 00:12:16,351 --> 00:12:18,561 - Who's down there? - It's Gavin's son. 308 00:12:18,645 --> 00:12:20,831 I don't know if you remember this. We went on a double date once. 309 00:12:20,855 --> 00:12:23,358 My wife got terribly ill from some truffle oil. 310 00:12:23,441 --> 00:12:25,110 Rich foods don't agree with her. 311 00:12:25,193 --> 00:12:26,462 - Did Gavin send you? - No, no, no. 312 00:12:26,486 --> 00:12:27,886 He doesn't even know that I'm here. 313 00:12:28,113 --> 00:12:29,656 Look, Ann Kim, he's heartbroken. 314 00:12:30,615 --> 00:12:32,325 You opened up something inside of him, 315 00:12:32,409 --> 00:12:34,411 and you turned him into the man 316 00:12:34,494 --> 00:12:36,496 that I always knew that he could be. 317 00:12:37,163 --> 00:12:38,707 And darn it, I'm just a kid 318 00:12:39,291 --> 00:12:42,294 hoping for a Thanksgiving miracle. 319 00:12:42,961 --> 00:12:45,505 Why don't you give him a second chance and come back with us, 320 00:12:45,588 --> 00:12:48,133 and let's all give thanks together. 321 00:12:49,592 --> 00:12:50,885 Great speech. 322 00:12:50,969 --> 00:12:53,346 - Yeah, it really was a great speech, man. - Thanks. 323 00:12:53,596 --> 00:12:56,182 Did you do it with the five other women he's dating? 324 00:12:56,266 --> 00:12:57,392 What? 325 00:12:57,475 --> 00:13:01,021 That's why he always refers to me by my first and last name. 326 00:13:01,104 --> 00:13:02,689 Because he's dating two Anns! 327 00:13:04,482 --> 00:13:06,109 This is worse than my Reagan thing. 328 00:13:06,192 --> 00:13:10,447 I can't believe that I spent all day feeling sorry for that son of a bitch. 329 00:13:11,197 --> 00:13:12,949 I guess I'm the son of a bitch. 330 00:13:13,033 --> 00:13:14,743 Leave or I'm hitting the sprinklers. 331 00:13:14,826 --> 00:13:17,120 Ann Kim, please, give me a minute to process this. 332 00:13:18,246 --> 00:13:19,831 - Sprinklers! - That was not a minute! 333 00:13:19,914 --> 00:13:21,058 - Sprinklers! - That was not a minute! 334 00:13:21,082 --> 00:13:22,083 No! 335 00:13:25,295 --> 00:13:26,379 Hello, Jessica. 336 00:13:26,671 --> 00:13:30,091 If you're here to hurt Robby, then you're here to hurt me. 337 00:13:30,175 --> 00:13:31,468 And if you hurt me, 338 00:13:31,551 --> 00:13:32,886 then I'm gonna hurt Robby. 339 00:13:33,637 --> 00:13:34,822 Wait a minute. No. If you're here… 340 00:13:34,846 --> 00:13:36,973 If you don't get out of your room, 341 00:13:37,474 --> 00:13:39,351 I'm gonna bleach all your bird shirts. 342 00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:42,320 - Robby, I got to go. - That's a wise choice. 343 00:13:46,066 --> 00:13:48,485 Robby, I need you to know that there is 344 00:13:49,819 --> 00:13:52,864 nothing going on between me and Gavin, 345 00:13:52,948 --> 00:13:55,992 except for an icy awkwardness that will continue 346 00:13:56,076 --> 00:13:58,244 until one or both of us is dead. 347 00:13:58,328 --> 00:14:00,830 Oh, thank God. 348 00:14:01,331 --> 00:14:03,583 I mean, I was sitting here thinking, really? 349 00:14:03,667 --> 00:14:04,793 Schmidt's dad. 350 00:14:04,876 --> 00:14:07,316 - I know. That'd be crazy, right? - Although I totally get it. 351 00:14:07,587 --> 00:14:09,339 I mean… he's got that rakish charm. 352 00:14:09,422 --> 00:14:11,341 And that voice. Oh, my God. 353 00:14:11,466 --> 00:14:13,635 - Great buns and… - Robby, stop. There's more. 354 00:14:14,386 --> 00:14:15,887 Oh, boy. 355 00:14:16,888 --> 00:14:18,288 I think I know where this is going. 356 00:14:19,057 --> 00:14:20,100 Let me guess. 357 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:22,936 You see me as more of a friend. 358 00:14:23,687 --> 00:14:25,772 Well, I didn't want to talk about it on Thanksgiving. 359 00:14:27,482 --> 00:14:29,317 But you brought the tickets and… 360 00:14:29,401 --> 00:14:30,902 Jess, it's okay. I get it, you know? 361 00:14:30,986 --> 00:14:32,529 There has to be that, um… 362 00:14:32,612 --> 00:14:35,073 - Oomph? - Yeah. I was gonna say "yowza," 363 00:14:35,156 --> 00:14:38,243 but, uh, oomph. You can't force the oomph, you know? 364 00:14:39,119 --> 00:14:41,871 I'll take my mom to Phoenix. She's nuts about Phoenix. 365 00:14:46,293 --> 00:14:47,919 Well, congrats, Dad! 366 00:14:48,003 --> 00:14:50,338 Holiday's over! You ruined another Thanksgiving! 367 00:14:50,839 --> 00:14:53,300 I can't believe that you're seeing six women. 368 00:14:53,383 --> 00:14:55,343 - What's going on? - How do you run a vineyard? 369 00:14:55,427 --> 00:14:58,179 - Not well. I'm seeing six women. - He tried to make it seven. 370 00:14:58,263 --> 00:14:59,723 I caught him making a move on Jess. 371 00:14:59,806 --> 00:15:02,684 Again? Why is my father so sexual? 372 00:15:02,767 --> 00:15:04,370 - Why is he asking Chicago? - Good question. 373 00:15:04,394 --> 00:15:05,955 You know what, Gavin, if this is who you really are, 374 00:15:05,979 --> 00:15:07,647 then you can forget about Thanksgiving 375 00:15:07,731 --> 00:15:09,417 and all the holidays and all the non-holidays. 376 00:15:09,441 --> 00:15:11,568 Pretty much what I'm talking about is every day. 377 00:15:11,651 --> 00:15:14,446 Hey, hey, hey, guys, let's remember the reason for the season. 378 00:15:14,529 --> 00:15:16,948 - We're all very thankful. - Jess, I am so sorry. 379 00:15:17,032 --> 00:15:18,575 I had no idea you two were together. 380 00:15:18,658 --> 00:15:20,338 I thought you were his physical therapist. 381 00:15:20,702 --> 00:15:21,828 Physical therapist? 382 00:15:21,911 --> 00:15:23,556 Aren't you a physical therapist or something? 383 00:15:23,580 --> 00:15:27,167 You think she's a… Jess is a top-notch vice principal. 384 00:15:29,628 --> 00:15:31,046 Oh, Robby… 385 00:15:32,130 --> 00:15:33,840 Robby, no. Don't stand. 386 00:15:33,923 --> 00:15:37,510 - Your… Your knee. - I don't give a flying care about that. 387 00:15:38,094 --> 00:15:39,614 I stand up when I stand up for people. 388 00:15:39,679 --> 00:15:40,948 I think you're getting roid rage. 389 00:15:40,972 --> 00:15:43,812 I didn't take any steroids today, because the TSA took 'em this morning. 390 00:15:44,017 --> 00:15:47,479 Now, what you're seeing is pure, unfiltered Robby, 391 00:15:47,562 --> 00:15:48,730 straight from the tap. 392 00:15:49,814 --> 00:15:51,734 - Get him, Robby. - You… You tried to make Jess 393 00:15:51,816 --> 00:15:53,096 the seventh woman you're dating, 394 00:15:53,151 --> 00:15:54,879 and you don't even know the first thing about her. 395 00:15:54,903 --> 00:15:56,696 I mean, did you know that when she was six, 396 00:15:56,780 --> 00:15:59,824 she tried to eat a lightning bug so that her heart would glow like E.T.? 397 00:16:00,283 --> 00:16:02,077 Did you know that she tried to give herself. 398 00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:05,121 Lyme disease out of solidarity to her fourth grade classmate? 399 00:16:05,580 --> 00:16:09,125 Or that she never lets any of her electronics go below 25%, 400 00:16:09,209 --> 00:16:11,920 just in case someone else needs to use them? 401 00:16:12,170 --> 00:16:13,338 I mean, did you know… 402 00:16:13,421 --> 00:16:14,756 Did you know that she's terrified 403 00:16:14,839 --> 00:16:18,927 of the large bubbles in the bubble wrap, but she loves the little tiny ones? 404 00:16:19,094 --> 00:16:20,637 It's so cute, man. 405 00:16:21,012 --> 00:16:22,555 It would be one thing if you actually 406 00:16:22,639 --> 00:16:25,016 - had feelings for Jess… I'm… - Oh! Oh. 407 00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:26,420 - I'm… - Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. 408 00:16:27,435 --> 00:16:29,020 Thank you. But you don't. 409 00:16:29,104 --> 00:16:32,941 You're just desperate and lonely and you're trying to use her, and I… 410 00:16:33,024 --> 00:16:34,168 - Oh, it's happening again. - Oh. 411 00:16:34,192 --> 00:16:35,252 - Whoa, whoa, whoa! - Whoa, Robby! 412 00:16:35,276 --> 00:16:37,153 - Oh, oh. - Thank you. 413 00:16:37,821 --> 00:16:40,699 You can't use Jess, because she is a dream girl. 414 00:16:43,493 --> 00:16:45,453 Here's the last thing I'll say before I leave. 415 00:16:46,621 --> 00:16:48,164 Jess, I know it's not me, but 416 00:16:51,042 --> 00:16:53,962 you deserve somebody who knows how special you are. 417 00:16:56,214 --> 00:16:57,757 Um, I'm going. I'm going. 418 00:16:57,841 --> 00:16:58,925 Don't go, Robby. 419 00:16:59,009 --> 00:17:00,609 I'm not going out. I'm… I'm going down! 420 00:17:02,345 --> 00:17:04,431 - Robby, no! - Turkey! Turkey's down! 421 00:17:04,514 --> 00:17:05,658 - Robby! Robby! - Turkey's down! 422 00:17:05,682 --> 00:17:08,143 Oh, God! Relax! 423 00:17:08,226 --> 00:17:09,769 - Just… Okay. - It still looks good! 424 00:17:09,853 --> 00:17:10,979 The turkey still looks good. 425 00:17:11,062 --> 00:17:12,230 Wait, what are you… 426 00:17:12,314 --> 00:17:13,815 It is hot! My skin! 427 00:17:13,898 --> 00:17:15,501 - It's burning my skin! - The hell you doing? 428 00:17:15,525 --> 00:17:17,461 - It was hot! It was hot! - Now I got to eat a dirty turkey! 429 00:17:17,485 --> 00:17:18,486 What's wrong with you? 430 00:17:18,570 --> 00:17:20,923 - This is all my fault. I'm so sorry. - You know I throw hot things! 431 00:17:20,947 --> 00:17:22,449 - It was fine! - Turkey's expensive! 432 00:17:22,532 --> 00:17:23,825 - Any more? - This isn't on me! 433 00:17:23,908 --> 00:17:25,261 Furguson don't eat turkey from the ground! 434 00:17:25,285 --> 00:17:27,045 Oh, no. I'm not taking the fall for this one. 435 00:17:27,245 --> 00:17:28,848 - It's all on you! - I'm not taking the… 436 00:17:28,872 --> 00:17:31,583 Hey! Can we not yell at each other on Thanksgiving? 437 00:17:33,460 --> 00:17:37,422 I recognize that I, too, am yelling. And I'm-I'm sorry, Robby. 438 00:17:37,505 --> 00:17:38,506 Wait. 439 00:17:43,094 --> 00:17:44,262 Great, he's gone. 440 00:17:45,889 --> 00:17:47,641 I was just starting to feel it. 441 00:17:48,391 --> 00:17:49,601 - Go. - Yeah, Jess, go. 442 00:17:49,684 --> 00:17:50,977 - Go. - Go! 443 00:17:51,061 --> 00:17:52,781 - Go after him. - Save us some floor turkey. 444 00:17:59,194 --> 00:18:00,236 Hey. 445 00:18:01,279 --> 00:18:04,115 Look, I know you had high hopes for Thanksgiving with your dad. 446 00:18:04,616 --> 00:18:06,993 You called it. The guy is who he is. 447 00:18:07,077 --> 00:18:10,705 You know, maybe you just need to drop this idea that he'll ever be the bigger man. 448 00:18:12,082 --> 00:18:14,834 I think that needs to be you, babe. You're the bigger man. 449 00:18:19,381 --> 00:18:22,759 Son, I know you're probably tired of hearing both these statements 450 00:18:22,842 --> 00:18:24,442 and not likely to believe either, but… 451 00:18:25,595 --> 00:18:27,514 I'm leaving and I'm sorry. 452 00:18:32,435 --> 00:18:34,479 Dad, I said… I said a lot of things earlier. 453 00:18:37,941 --> 00:18:39,776 I don't want you out of my life. 454 00:18:42,362 --> 00:18:45,115 I was waiting for you to be someone who you're not, but… 455 00:18:46,616 --> 00:18:49,077 I know who you are and I still love you. 456 00:18:50,245 --> 00:18:52,455 But you… You need to listen to me, 457 00:18:52,539 --> 00:18:55,041 son to father, get a therapist. 458 00:18:55,125 --> 00:18:57,127 - Oh, I have a therapist. - A better one. 459 00:18:58,461 --> 00:18:59,939 - Okay. - And I shouldn't have to say this 460 00:18:59,963 --> 00:19:01,483 but one that you're not sleeping with. 461 00:19:05,010 --> 00:19:06,094 Okay. 462 00:19:06,886 --> 00:19:10,056 Wait! Robby! Robby, don't go. 463 00:19:10,140 --> 00:19:12,892 I tried to Irish good-bye, but, uh, I'm moving a little slow. 464 00:19:12,976 --> 00:19:16,021 When you were in there and you were saying all those things, 465 00:19:16,104 --> 00:19:18,064 I realize I don't even really know you. 466 00:19:18,148 --> 00:19:20,066 And I want to get to know you. 467 00:19:20,150 --> 00:19:22,211 Jess, it's okay. I… I don't want you to force something 468 00:19:22,235 --> 00:19:24,404 - that's not there. - I felt it. 469 00:19:28,283 --> 00:19:29,284 You felt the oomph? 470 00:19:29,367 --> 00:19:31,077 Yes. I… 471 00:19:31,161 --> 00:19:33,496 I'm sorry I'm being so confusing. 472 00:19:33,580 --> 00:19:35,290 I… I think I'm as bad at Thanksgiving 473 00:19:35,373 --> 00:19:37,417 as I am at starting new relationships. 474 00:19:37,500 --> 00:19:38,501 Yeah, you're pretty bad. 475 00:19:38,585 --> 00:19:41,713 Robby, will you go on another date with me? 476 00:19:44,591 --> 00:19:47,844 Come on, baby, make it hurt so good. 477 00:19:50,180 --> 00:19:52,098 Hell yeah, I'll go on another date with you. 478 00:19:55,060 --> 00:19:56,900 I did already tell my mom about Phoenix though. 479 00:19:56,936 --> 00:19:59,022 - I hope that's okay. - Oh, of course. 480 00:19:59,356 --> 00:20:02,609 I apologize in advance for the state of our main course. 481 00:20:07,656 --> 00:20:10,116 Dad, would you like to do the honors? 482 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:12,535 I think the man of the house traditionally does that. 483 00:20:12,619 --> 00:20:13,787 I am a house. 484 00:20:13,870 --> 00:20:14,913 Aw. 485 00:20:14,996 --> 00:20:16,456 Out of twigs and stones 486 00:20:16,539 --> 00:20:19,584 I'm the… I'm the man of the house. Would you look at that? 487 00:20:19,668 --> 00:20:21,169 Oh, it's Reagan. 488 00:20:21,252 --> 00:20:23,254 Oh, whoa. You know, I've always wanted to do this. 489 00:20:23,797 --> 00:20:25,090 Uh, read out loud. 490 00:20:25,173 --> 00:20:29,427 In Omaha. Heart emoji. Smiling pile of poo emoji. 491 00:20:29,886 --> 00:20:33,181 I want my tongue emoji on your monkey emoji. 492 00:20:33,431 --> 00:20:35,076 Eh, come on, that's a little private. Sorry about that. 493 00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:36,768 She wants to tongue your monkey? 494 00:20:36,851 --> 00:20:39,020 - What's your monkey? - Smiling pile of poo? 495 00:20:39,104 --> 00:20:40,105 Oh, my God, 496 00:20:40,188 --> 00:20:42,232 Schmidt and Cece will be in a new home next year. 497 00:20:42,315 --> 00:20:43,650 Next year it's at our place. 498 00:20:43,733 --> 00:20:45,944 Happy last loft Thanksgiving, everyone. 499 00:20:47,654 --> 00:20:48,780 Give and give. 500 00:20:48,863 --> 00:20:51,908 They weren't always perfect, but they were memorable. 501 00:20:51,992 --> 00:20:53,118 - Cheers. - Cheers. 502 00:20:53,201 --> 00:20:54,202 - Hey. - Hey. 503 00:20:54,286 --> 00:20:56,162 Mmm. Remember when you fell down that hole? 504 00:20:56,246 --> 00:20:58,599 Oh, and Schmidt cooked the meal in our dead neighbor's kitchen. 505 00:20:58,623 --> 00:20:59,833 Ms. Beverly. 506 00:20:59,916 --> 00:21:00,917 Mmm! 507 00:21:01,084 --> 00:21:02,436 Remember when we had sex with strangers? 508 00:21:02,460 --> 00:21:04,796 That's a misrepresentation of what happened. 509 00:21:04,879 --> 00:21:06,879 Remember when your parents made it in the bathroom? 510 00:21:07,215 --> 00:21:10,135 Or last Thanksgiving, when we all accidentally took peyote 511 00:21:10,218 --> 00:21:12,280 and, Winston, you wouldn't let us break the wishbone. 512 00:21:12,304 --> 00:21:14,639 - Break the bone, lose the wish. - That's not true! 513 00:21:14,723 --> 00:21:16,843 - That's not how it works. - That is not how it works. 514 00:21:17,017 --> 00:21:19,144 Here's to Thanksgiving, everybody.