1
00:00:00,573 --> 00:00:02,259
So, I've got it all planned out.
I'm gonna surprise Nick

2
00:00:02,283 --> 00:00:04,077
at his book reading, and afterwards,

3
00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:07,372
when he's on a big high,
I'm gonna tell him how I feel.

4
00:00:07,455 --> 00:00:09,916
You think this is a little soon
after the breakup with Reagan?

5
00:00:09,999 --> 00:00:11,084
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

6
00:00:11,167 --> 00:00:13,253
I'm worried, very worried.

7
00:00:13,336 --> 00:00:15,147
But you know what, I wrote
everything out on the plane,

8
00:00:15,171 --> 00:00:16,297
like what I'm gonna say.

9
00:00:16,381 --> 00:00:18,150
It's all on flash cards,
some of it's in song,

10
00:00:18,174 --> 00:00:20,885
I would do it for you,
but some of the jokes

11
00:00:20,969 --> 00:00:22,720
are at your expense, so, uh…

12
00:00:22,804 --> 00:00:25,390
Jess, why don't you just
tell him how you feel?

13
00:00:25,473 --> 00:00:28,685
You know, no jokes, no songs,
just from the heart.

14
00:00:31,354 --> 00:00:33,273
- No songs.
- Yeah.

15
00:00:33,356 --> 00:00:34,399
No songs.

16
00:00:34,482 --> 00:00:37,026
No songs, she said.

17
00:00:37,110 --> 00:00:38,254
"Pepperwood lay on the ground

18
00:00:38,278 --> 00:00:40,321
"in a puddle of blood.

19
00:00:40,405 --> 00:00:43,825
"Jessica Night broke through the
barricades and ran to his side.

20
00:00:43,908 --> 00:00:45,535
"'Even though he doesn't have muscles,"

21
00:00:45,618 --> 00:00:48,454
"'he seems incredibly strong, '
Jessica thought,"

22
00:00:48,538 --> 00:00:50,832
"as she looked into his
perfect, sexy face."

23
00:00:50,915 --> 00:00:53,126
"Even now, even covered"

24
00:00:53,209 --> 00:00:55,753
"in the blood of the man
they both knew as Schmith,"

25
00:00:55,837 --> 00:00:59,549
"the two sat in silence
in the hot, New Orleans night,"

26
00:00:59,632 --> 00:01:02,510
"waiting for the words
that would never come."

27
00:01:08,349 --> 00:01:10,727
I'm gonna open up the floor
to some questions.

28
00:01:10,810 --> 00:01:13,038
Uh, the young lady right here
in the strange-looking vest.

29
00:01:13,062 --> 00:01:14,063
No offense.

30
00:01:14,147 --> 00:01:15,189
When are Pepperwood

31
00:01:15,273 --> 00:01:16,584
and Jessica Night going to get together?

32
00:01:16,608 --> 00:01:18,448
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- That is a great question.

33
00:01:20,403 --> 00:01:22,488
I'll just cut to it, guys.

34
00:01:22,572 --> 00:01:26,951
Uh, Pepperwood and Jessica Night
will never get together. Never.

35
00:01:29,329 --> 00:01:30,371
I'm sorry. You guys, stop.

36
00:01:30,455 --> 00:01:32,749
It's just, look, these characters,

37
00:01:32,832 --> 00:01:34,959
they… They are based off real people.

38
00:01:35,043 --> 00:01:39,339
And the real people are
just fundamentally different.

39
00:01:39,422 --> 00:01:41,382
They don't work together.

40
00:01:41,466 --> 00:01:43,259
It's just never gonna happen.

41
00:01:43,343 --> 00:01:45,386
- You just got to forget about it.
- Excuse me.

42
00:01:45,470 --> 00:01:46,888
Move on from it.

43
00:01:50,266 --> 00:01:52,393
And also, you know,
Pepperwood, he blew it.

44
00:01:52,477 --> 00:01:54,979
Sometimes you don't get
another chance, you know,

45
00:01:55,063 --> 00:01:56,147
to fix the mistake.

46
00:01:56,231 --> 00:01:59,192
It's just… Look, adult relationships
are really complicated.

47
00:01:59,275 --> 00:02:01,611
So, let's hear it for books!

48
00:02:03,446 --> 00:02:06,491
All right, wow, you guys
are super intense.

49
00:02:11,621 --> 00:02:12,747
Hi.

50
00:02:12,830 --> 00:02:14,832
- I'm Merle Streep.
- I don't care.

51
00:02:14,916 --> 00:02:18,378
Okay. Um, I'm an editor and
I publish children's books,

52
00:02:18,461 --> 00:02:19,647
- so I wanted…
- Oh, congratulations to you.

53
00:02:19,671 --> 00:02:20,981
What would you like me to do about that?

54
00:02:21,005 --> 00:02:22,399
Uh, I'm about to make a call, so…

55
00:02:22,423 --> 00:02:24,133
Nice to meet you, Merle Streep.

56
00:02:24,217 --> 00:02:25,343
Goofy name.

57
00:02:25,426 --> 00:02:27,303
- I'll… I'll… Okay.
- Okay.

58
00:02:35,270 --> 00:02:36,563
Hey, Nick.

59
00:02:36,646 --> 00:02:39,190
Hey, this is crazy,
but were you just at my reading?

60
00:02:39,274 --> 00:02:41,025
You're not in LA, are you?

61
00:02:41,109 --> 00:02:43,027
No, I'm in Portland with my dad.

62
00:02:43,111 --> 00:02:45,029
- That's what I thought.
- How'd the reading go?

63
00:02:45,113 --> 00:02:46,364
Couldn't have gone better.

64
00:02:46,447 --> 00:02:48,032
I felt weirdly comfortable up there.

65
00:02:48,116 --> 00:02:49,617
- I'm so proud of you.
- Thanks.

66
00:02:53,538 --> 00:02:55,373
Reagan and I broke up.

67
00:02:55,456 --> 00:02:57,000
I got to go.

68
00:02:57,083 --> 00:02:58,960
Oh, my dad just sprained his

69
00:02:59,043 --> 00:03:01,254
thumb trying to get up off a couch.

70
00:03:01,337 --> 00:03:03,840
I'll talk to you later, Nick.

71
00:03:03,923 --> 00:03:06,384
Sorry. So, is now a good
time to talk to you?

72
00:03:06,467 --> 00:03:08,070
Because I'd like to talk to you
about publishing your book.

73
00:03:08,094 --> 00:03:09,321
You'd like to talk to me about what?

74
00:03:09,345 --> 00:03:10,471
Publishing your book.

75
00:03:10,555 --> 00:03:12,432
What are you, some kind of a publisher?

76
00:03:12,515 --> 00:03:13,641
Yeah, that's what my card…

77
00:03:13,725 --> 00:03:15,035
I was trying to give
you my card, but you…

78
00:03:15,059 --> 00:03:16,561
- You want to publish my book?
- Yeah.

79
00:03:16,644 --> 00:03:18,688
Yeah, I want you to publish my book.

80
00:03:18,771 --> 00:03:21,316
- Is this how you normally are?
- No.

81
00:03:23,192 --> 00:03:24,694
Babe, hi.

82
00:03:24,777 --> 00:03:26,362
Are your pants off?

83
00:03:26,446 --> 00:03:28,364
I… I went to the reading and…

84
00:03:28,489 --> 00:03:29,490
Oh, no, what happened?

85
00:03:29,574 --> 00:03:31,201
I'm so sorry I'm not wearing pants.

86
00:03:31,284 --> 00:03:32,553
Schmidt's been so busy with work,

87
00:03:32,577 --> 00:03:34,579
we scheduled a no-pants dinner thing.

88
00:03:34,662 --> 00:03:37,290
Do you want me to take my pants off, too?

89
00:03:37,373 --> 00:03:38,374
Oh, no, honey.

90
00:03:38,458 --> 00:03:39,626
Tell me everything.

91
00:03:39,709 --> 00:03:41,502
That's it. I'm all moved in.

92
00:03:41,586 --> 00:03:45,048
This is my last box and it's
labeled "holiday important."

93
00:03:45,131 --> 00:03:47,133
So, it's definitely sex toys.

94
00:03:47,217 --> 00:03:49,510
Well, then
I wonder what's in this box.

95
00:03:49,594 --> 00:03:52,388
It's labeled "documents."
Eh, it's just documents.

96
00:03:52,472 --> 00:03:54,265
Oh, no, no, no. That's nothing.

97
00:03:54,349 --> 00:03:55,350
I…

98
00:03:55,433 --> 00:03:57,518
Wait, wait, wait.

99
00:03:57,602 --> 00:04:00,313
You have a mug shot of the diaper bandit?

100
00:04:00,396 --> 00:04:02,315
- With a phone number on the back?
- All right.

101
00:04:02,398 --> 00:04:05,318
Listen, I wanted to wait for
the right time to tell you this.

102
00:04:05,401 --> 00:04:06,545
Have you been keeping in touch
with the diaper bandit?

103
00:04:06,569 --> 00:04:09,322
What? No. No, listen. I…

104
00:04:09,405 --> 00:04:12,992
That's actually your dad's phone number.

105
00:04:14,744 --> 00:04:18,289
You said you wanted to find him, so…

106
00:04:18,373 --> 00:04:19,374
I found him.

107
00:04:26,548 --> 00:04:28,424
My dad is the diaper bandit?

108
00:04:28,508 --> 00:04:30,134
- No.
- Oh.

109
00:04:30,218 --> 00:04:32,554
- Forget about the diaper bandit.
- That'd have been weird.

110
00:04:42,564 --> 00:04:43,606
Cece.

111
00:04:43,690 --> 00:04:47,318
I'm not wearing any pants.

112
00:04:47,402 --> 00:04:48,403
Honey.

113
00:04:48,486 --> 00:04:50,446
Oh, no! Oh, no!

114
00:04:50,530 --> 00:04:51,781
I touched one of your breasts!

115
00:04:51,865 --> 00:04:54,075
- Where is my wife?
- I can never be the same!

116
00:04:55,618 --> 00:04:57,498
- Let's just move on.
- I'm fine. No, it's fine.

117
00:04:57,579 --> 00:04:59,873
I panicked, and I told him
I was in Portland,

118
00:04:59,956 --> 00:05:01,666
and now I can't go back to the loft.

119
00:05:01,749 --> 00:05:03,084
To play devil's advocate,

120
00:05:03,167 --> 00:05:05,503
he was just talking
about characters in his novel.

121
00:05:05,587 --> 00:05:07,380
I mean, look, the character based on me

122
00:05:07,463 --> 00:05:10,341
is a Jewish psychopath
who wears a bolo tie

123
00:05:10,425 --> 00:05:12,594
and eats applesauce
out of a baboon's skull.

124
00:05:12,677 --> 00:05:14,554
No, he was talking about us.

125
00:05:14,637 --> 00:05:17,140
He just doesn't feel the way I feel.

126
00:05:17,223 --> 00:05:19,350
I… I can't see him.

127
00:05:19,434 --> 00:05:22,186
Hey, it's me, Nick. In three, two…

128
00:05:22,270 --> 00:05:23,581
- Hang on, wrong key.
- Get in the kitchen.

129
00:05:23,605 --> 00:05:25,565
- Go, shoo, scram.
- That was for my chest drawer.

130
00:05:27,609 --> 00:05:28,902
- Got it.
- My man.

131
00:05:31,195 --> 00:05:32,906
I don't love this couch.

132
00:05:32,989 --> 00:05:34,407
Did you take the tags off already?

133
00:05:34,490 --> 00:05:36,451
It's the perfect couch.
What are you doing here?

134
00:05:36,534 --> 00:05:38,470
Well, I need to talk to you and
my phone's only at 5%.

135
00:05:38,494 --> 00:05:40,014
- Well, why didn't you…
- I can't find the charger.

136
00:05:40,038 --> 00:05:41,599
- It's under Winston's pillow.
- I looked in Winston's room.

137
00:05:41,623 --> 00:05:44,125
- Did you look under the pillow?
- Yeah, yeah. I… Yeah.

138
00:05:44,209 --> 00:05:45,686
- I went in there. I…
- No, you didn't.

139
00:05:45,710 --> 00:05:47,646
I didn't look in Winston's room,
but I need to talk to you.

140
00:05:47,670 --> 00:05:49,547
An editor wants to publish my book.

141
00:05:49,631 --> 00:05:51,549
Pass immediately and start a bidding war.

142
00:05:51,633 --> 00:05:53,468
I'm getting ahead of myself. Mazel.

143
00:05:53,551 --> 00:05:54,719
That's incredible, Nick.

144
00:05:54,802 --> 00:05:56,638
Thanks. I called Jess,
but she didn't answer.

145
00:05:56,721 --> 00:05:59,140
I was really hoping to tell her
about it, but she hung up

146
00:05:59,224 --> 00:06:00,701
on me earlier and now she
won't pick up the phone.

147
00:06:00,725 --> 00:06:03,269
- What are you doing?
- Shh! Shh, shh!

148
00:06:03,353 --> 00:06:05,230
What, what, what?

149
00:06:05,313 --> 00:06:07,232
- Oh, Nick's here?
- Shh! You're yelling.

150
00:06:07,315 --> 00:06:08,542
I'm not yelling. You're yelling.

151
00:06:08,566 --> 00:06:09,793
You're coming with me
to the meeting tomorrow.

152
00:06:09,817 --> 00:06:11,444
I'm picking you up at 9:00 a.m.

153
00:06:13,279 --> 00:06:15,257
- I have to go to the kitchen.
- I'll come with. I'm starving.

154
00:06:15,281 --> 00:06:16,741
- No.
- Where are you…

155
00:06:16,824 --> 00:06:18,535
Come to the kitchen with me then, Nick.

156
00:06:20,078 --> 00:06:21,538
Wait, why are you crawling?

157
00:06:21,621 --> 00:06:23,623
I don't know. Just go.

158
00:06:27,710 --> 00:06:29,587
You have any angel hair pasta in here?

159
00:06:29,671 --> 00:06:30,898
- I don't see it.
- Ooh, you know what?

160
00:06:30,922 --> 00:06:32,762
Uh, excuse me, I have
to go to the bedroom now.

161
00:06:34,467 --> 00:06:35,969
Jess, this is very stressful.

162
00:06:36,052 --> 00:06:38,239
I know. Look, tomorrow, you need
to go to that meeting with Nick

163
00:06:38,263 --> 00:06:40,598
and you need to stay with him
until I'm packed.

164
00:06:40,682 --> 00:06:42,493
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, packed?
- I just army-crawled

165
00:06:42,517 --> 00:06:45,061
across your entire house to get
away from my ex-boyfriend,

166
00:06:45,895 --> 00:06:47,689
who I still live with.

167
00:06:47,772 --> 00:06:50,316
I can't do this anymore.

168
00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:52,986
I need… I need to get out
of here and get some space.

169
00:06:54,946 --> 00:06:57,532
- I'm moving out of the loft.
- What?

170
00:07:00,618 --> 00:07:02,328
I couldn't find your trash bin,

171
00:07:02,412 --> 00:07:03,472
so I threw it away in the toilet.

172
00:07:03,496 --> 00:07:04,682
What'd you throw in the toilet?

173
00:07:04,706 --> 00:07:06,100
- The, uh, salami in the fridge.
- What?

174
00:07:06,124 --> 00:07:07,625
I didn't flush it.

175
00:07:07,709 --> 00:07:09,186
So, you're gonna have a bunch of salami

176
00:07:09,210 --> 00:07:11,880
- floating around in your toilet bowl.
- What?

177
00:07:15,174 --> 00:07:16,426
So Jess is just moving out

178
00:07:16,509 --> 00:07:18,678
because Nick said
something dumb at a reading?

179
00:07:18,761 --> 00:07:21,139
Nick is always dumb.
He's the dumbest boy in school.

180
00:07:21,222 --> 00:07:22,533
I had no idea you cared so much about

181
00:07:22,557 --> 00:07:23,933
what happens to Nick and Jess.

182
00:07:24,017 --> 00:07:25,578
How could I not?
I've been watching these idiots

183
00:07:25,602 --> 00:07:27,478
do this dance for the last six years.

184
00:07:27,562 --> 00:07:29,480
He's rough and tumble.
She's sweet and sassy.

185
00:07:29,564 --> 00:07:31,709
It's the moon and the tides,
it's the push and the pull.

186
00:07:31,733 --> 00:07:33,693
I know, it just makes so much sense.

187
00:07:33,776 --> 00:07:35,820
I'm gonna go tell him that she loves him.

188
00:07:35,904 --> 00:07:37,339
I'm gonna go tell him that she loves him,

189
00:07:37,363 --> 00:07:38,716
I'm gonna burst in the door,
and I'm gonna say,

190
00:07:38,740 --> 00:07:40,092
"Nick, she loves you," and then…

191
00:07:40,116 --> 00:07:42,094
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
We cannot get involved.

192
00:07:42,118 --> 00:07:43,661
- Okay.
- Okay?

193
00:07:43,745 --> 00:07:46,539
- You're right. You're right, okay.
- All right. Okay.

194
00:07:47,749 --> 00:07:50,460
- I should've worn shorts.
- No, no.

195
00:07:50,543 --> 00:07:51,979
I would've looked amazing in shorts.

196
00:07:52,003 --> 00:07:54,505
I got rid of all the shorts, you nutball.

197
00:07:54,589 --> 00:07:56,758
You are really grumpy this morning.

198
00:07:56,841 --> 00:08:00,720
Well, I was up late last night,
talking to Cece about you.

199
00:08:00,803 --> 00:08:02,573
- For what?
- Nick, I want to tell you something,

200
00:08:02,597 --> 00:08:05,975
but… But I can't.

201
00:08:06,059 --> 00:08:07,560
So I'm just gonna ask you this.

202
00:08:07,644 --> 00:08:09,729
Why on earth

203
00:08:09,812 --> 00:08:13,566
do you think that you are so
okay with this Reagan breakup?

204
00:08:13,650 --> 00:08:15,544
Reagan and I are at
different places of our life.

205
00:08:15,568 --> 00:08:17,445
It's fine. Why hasn't Jess called me back?

206
00:08:17,528 --> 00:08:18,589
You guys are pretty good friends, right?

207
00:08:18,613 --> 00:08:20,323
But if you remember correctly,

208
00:08:20,406 --> 00:08:22,492
you didn't even want Jess
to move in to the loft.

209
00:08:22,575 --> 00:08:23,815
Nick, why do you think that is?

210
00:08:23,868 --> 00:08:25,954
I'm pretty freaked out
by sanitary napkins.

211
00:08:26,037 --> 00:08:28,706
Why don't you think you wanted
Jess to move in to the loft?

212
00:08:28,790 --> 00:08:31,501
I don't know, 'cause I…
'Cause I was afraid.

213
00:08:31,584 --> 00:08:34,295
Nick, you have been in love with this girl

214
00:08:34,379 --> 00:08:35,773
from the moment you opened the door

215
00:08:35,797 --> 00:08:38,675
and you first laid eyes on her.

216
00:08:38,758 --> 00:08:42,303
I have never seen you
look at anyone else like that

217
00:08:42,387 --> 00:08:43,638
in my entire life.

218
00:08:43,721 --> 00:08:45,598
Except maybe, on a few occasions, me.

219
00:08:45,682 --> 00:08:47,701
I've never looked at you
the same way I look at Jess.

220
00:08:47,725 --> 00:08:49,703
- There's just been a few times.
- There's never been a time.

221
00:08:49,727 --> 00:08:51,247
You looked at Coach
maybe once or twice like that.

222
00:08:51,271 --> 00:08:52,631
Me, several times. Winston, never.

223
00:08:52,689 --> 00:08:54,816
- Let's table it.
- You're wrong.

224
00:08:54,899 --> 00:08:57,819
The first time I saw Jess
was I was standing

225
00:08:57,902 --> 00:09:00,363
in her empty room, and I was
looking out the window.

226
00:09:00,446 --> 00:09:02,258
- She was trying to get in the building.
- Okay.

227
00:09:02,282 --> 00:09:03,843
Pretty hilarious.
She didn't have her glasses on,

228
00:09:03,867 --> 00:09:05,451
and she was bumping into stuff.

229
00:09:05,535 --> 00:09:07,245
Will you listen to yourself?

230
00:09:07,328 --> 00:09:11,457
I shouldn't be telling you this, but…

231
00:09:11,541 --> 00:09:13,793
Jess is not in Portland. She's here.

232
00:09:13,877 --> 00:09:15,628
And she's packing up her stuff because

233
00:09:15,712 --> 00:09:17,064
she's going to move out of the loft

234
00:09:17,088 --> 00:09:19,215
- for good.
- Nick.

235
00:09:19,299 --> 00:09:20,925
Wait, she's gonna move out of the loft?

236
00:09:21,009 --> 00:09:23,887
For once in your life, don't be afraid.

237
00:09:26,472 --> 00:09:27,724
Ready to come in and talk?

238
00:09:32,353 --> 00:09:35,607
Hello. I'm, uh, Winston Schmidt,
Nick's associate.

239
00:09:35,690 --> 00:09:36,941
That's right.

240
00:09:37,025 --> 00:09:39,652
Children's literature
just got a brand-new daddy.

241
00:09:39,736 --> 00:09:40,945
What?

242
00:09:41,029 --> 00:09:43,781
Children's literature
just got a brand-new daddy.

243
00:09:43,865 --> 00:09:46,784
Don't say that here anymore,
okay? Thank you.

244
00:09:49,746 --> 00:09:50,997
So sorry I'm late,

245
00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:54,000
but Sadie would not stop
going on about her divorce,

246
00:09:54,083 --> 00:09:55,311
and I was like,
"Girl, can you just be quiet"

247
00:09:55,335 --> 00:09:56,836
"and look at my vagina, please?"

248
00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:58,147
The fact that we have
the same gynecologist

249
00:09:58,171 --> 00:09:59,589
really makes me feel closer to you.

250
00:09:59,672 --> 00:10:01,525
Wait, is this all you have packed?
I mean, Nick's gonna

251
00:10:01,549 --> 00:10:03,468
- be here in two hours.
- I know.

252
00:10:03,551 --> 00:10:04,969
Hey. You know what?

253
00:10:05,053 --> 00:10:07,680
If this is too hard right now,
you don't have to do this.

254
00:10:07,764 --> 00:10:10,391
Just give yourself some time
and think it through.

255
00:10:10,475 --> 00:10:12,675
If my stuff is here, I'll just
end up living here again.

256
00:10:12,727 --> 00:10:14,979
You know me. I live where my stuff lives.

257
00:10:15,063 --> 00:10:16,272
When I come back

258
00:10:16,356 --> 00:10:18,858
for the school year,
I'll find a new place.

259
00:10:18,942 --> 00:10:21,027
All right. Well, if we're gonna do this,

260
00:10:21,110 --> 00:10:22,278
then we better get moving.

261
00:10:22,362 --> 00:10:23,881
Yep. My God, I'm gonna miss you so much.

262
00:10:23,905 --> 00:10:25,615
I'm gonna miss you so much, too.

263
00:10:25,698 --> 00:10:26,884
But it's just one summer. It's fine.

264
00:10:26,908 --> 00:10:28,469
Okay, I know, but I'm just gonna miss you.

265
00:10:28,493 --> 00:10:30,828
- Me, too. This is dumb!
- It's one summer.

266
00:10:30,912 --> 00:10:32,973
- It's one summer.
- It's fine. We can get through one summer.

267
00:10:32,997 --> 00:10:34,308
It's fine.
I'm gonna miss you, like, day-to-day.

268
00:10:34,332 --> 00:10:35,708
Who am I gonna talk to every day?

269
00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:41,214
Mine, mine… Is this mine?

270
00:10:41,297 --> 00:10:42,483
Are you collecting things for Goodwill?

271
00:10:42,507 --> 00:10:44,717
I'm not donating things, I'm moving out.

272
00:10:44,801 --> 00:10:45,843
What?

273
00:10:45,927 --> 00:10:47,112
Look, I'm just going to Portland

274
00:10:47,136 --> 00:10:48,555
for the summer to get away.

275
00:10:48,638 --> 00:10:50,723
Sure. You go to Portland,
have a fun summer,

276
00:10:50,807 --> 00:10:52,559
but then what about after that?

277
00:10:52,642 --> 00:10:54,561
Huh? When will we see you?

278
00:10:54,644 --> 00:10:56,764
Who will your friends be?
Who you gonna hang out with?

279
00:10:56,813 --> 00:10:58,582
Okay, think about the people
you are leaving behind.

280
00:10:58,606 --> 00:11:00,942
Also, side note, Aly has my dad's number!

281
00:11:01,025 --> 00:11:02,110
Okay.

282
00:11:02,193 --> 00:11:03,903
- Wait, what?
- I got his dad's number.

283
00:11:03,987 --> 00:11:05,530
My dad's name is Van, by the way.

284
00:11:05,613 --> 00:11:07,907
Oh, my God, Winston, that's a huge deal!

285
00:11:07,991 --> 00:11:09,701
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Are you gonna call him?

286
00:11:13,788 --> 00:11:15,039
No.

287
00:11:16,165 --> 00:11:18,334
I can't call my dad. I just can't.

288
00:11:18,418 --> 00:11:20,670
You know what? You don't have to call him

289
00:11:20,753 --> 00:11:22,106
if you don't want to. You can always just

290
00:11:22,130 --> 00:11:25,258
escape to Portland… Oh, my God!

291
00:11:25,341 --> 00:11:26,926
You can come with me to Portland!

292
00:11:27,010 --> 00:11:28,511
Fergi's gonna love it.

293
00:11:28,595 --> 00:11:30,155
It's the second most cat-friendly Portland

294
00:11:30,179 --> 00:11:31,824
after Portland, Maine,
according to Paws magazine.

295
00:11:31,848 --> 00:11:32,974
Are you going to Portland?

296
00:11:33,057 --> 00:11:34,267
No.

297
00:11:34,350 --> 00:11:36,060
Portland is hella white.

298
00:11:39,022 --> 00:11:41,190
Ooh. Sadie.

299
00:11:41,274 --> 00:11:42,901
Hello.

300
00:11:42,984 --> 00:11:45,612
Cece, you're pregnant.

301
00:11:51,784 --> 00:11:54,412
Oh, my God, Cece's pregnant.

302
00:11:54,495 --> 00:11:56,789
Why are you picking up
someone else's phone?

303
00:11:56,873 --> 00:11:58,392
Call back in five minutes,
and we will agree

304
00:11:58,416 --> 00:12:00,793
to lie to our friend
for the rest of our lives.

305
00:12:00,877 --> 00:12:02,420
Oh, God. You're gonna be in my office

306
00:12:02,503 --> 00:12:03,983
throughout the pregnancy, aren't you?

307
00:12:05,006 --> 00:12:06,806
So I am double-parked,
so if you got any boxes

308
00:12:06,841 --> 00:12:07,921
I can take down to the car.

309
00:12:09,177 --> 00:12:11,346
What's up? Why are you so happy?

310
00:12:11,429 --> 00:12:13,765
I just love boxes so much.

311
00:12:13,848 --> 00:12:14,950
Can I have one to take to the car?

312
00:12:14,974 --> 00:12:16,809
It's heavy. I'm fine.

313
00:12:16,893 --> 00:12:18,811
Oh, okay. We can go together. That's fine.

314
00:12:18,895 --> 00:12:20,730
I… I like quality time.

315
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:24,234
Oh, you should go
get your phone. No, no, no.

316
00:12:24,317 --> 00:12:25,777
Let's just get this box down.

317
00:12:25,860 --> 00:12:27,421
- Okay.
- Hey, can someone grab my phone?

318
00:12:27,445 --> 00:12:29,822
What if it's about
your booming model business?

319
00:12:29,906 --> 00:12:31,407
Hello?

320
00:12:31,491 --> 00:12:32,825
Cece, you're pregnant!

321
00:12:32,909 --> 00:12:35,995
- Oh, my God, Cece's pregnant!
- Who the hell is this?

322
00:12:36,079 --> 00:12:38,414
- Cece's pregnant?
- Sorry. I'm Aly, Winston's fiancée.

323
00:12:38,498 --> 00:12:39,666
Cece is pregnant?

324
00:12:39,749 --> 00:12:40,917
Winston's married to Cece.

325
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,228
- Winston Bishop.
- Cece's pregnant.

326
00:12:42,252 --> 00:12:43,753
Cece's pregnant. Oh, my God,

327
00:12:43,836 --> 00:12:45,105
- Cece's pregnant, everybody!
- Oh, my God.

328
00:12:45,129 --> 00:12:47,924
No need to yell.

329
00:12:48,007 --> 00:12:49,259
Tell Cece to call me.

330
00:12:49,342 --> 00:12:50,843
Got to head back down in the mine.

331
00:12:50,927 --> 00:12:53,888
Hey, can we hustle? I got a
hair appointment in an hour.

332
00:12:53,972 --> 00:12:55,807
It's a real upstairs,
downstairs kind of day.

333
00:12:55,890 --> 00:12:57,100
Gotcha.

334
00:13:02,105 --> 00:13:04,440
What, Winston? I'm using social media.

335
00:13:04,524 --> 00:13:05,924
Oh, my God, Schmidt. Why didn't you

336
00:13:05,984 --> 00:13:08,653
- tell me you were gonna be a papa?
- No, no, no, no.

337
00:13:08,736 --> 00:13:10,089
What do you mean, "papa"?
What are you talking about?

338
00:13:10,113 --> 00:13:12,091
- Pull the plug.
- Sadie told Aly that Cece is pregnant.

339
00:13:12,115 --> 00:13:14,051
- Pull the… Pull the plug.
- What? Why would she do that?

340
00:13:14,075 --> 00:13:16,119
- 'Cause she pregnant.
- Winston, he doesn't know.

341
00:13:18,121 --> 00:13:21,040
Oh, oh, oh, no…

342
00:13:21,124 --> 00:13:22,625
Ah…

343
00:13:22,709 --> 00:13:24,836
No… I messed up just now.

344
00:13:24,919 --> 00:13:25,920
Winston.

345
00:13:26,004 --> 00:13:27,147
You weren't supposed to know that,
so don't know that.

346
00:13:27,171 --> 00:13:28,715
Is that true? What's going on?

347
00:13:28,798 --> 00:13:30,192
Hey, Schmidt. It's Jess. I'm so sorry.

348
00:13:30,216 --> 00:13:32,051
I picked up Cece's phone, it was Sadie,

349
00:13:32,135 --> 00:13:34,804
and she told me the news, and
now everybody knows but Cece.

350
00:13:34,888 --> 00:13:36,389
So I'm gonna send her home.

351
00:13:36,472 --> 00:13:38,308
Okay, okay, but Jess, um…

352
00:13:38,391 --> 00:13:40,435
Plea…

353
00:13:40,518 --> 00:13:41,853
Is it true?

354
00:13:41,936 --> 00:13:43,438
Yeah. It's true.

355
00:13:43,521 --> 00:13:44,856
Just get home.

356
00:13:44,939 --> 00:13:46,524
She needs to hear it from you.

357
00:13:49,152 --> 00:13:51,779
Miracle of miracles!
Finally got a parking spot.

358
00:13:52,989 --> 00:13:54,091
Why y'all just staring at me?

359
00:13:54,115 --> 00:13:56,034
Just really happy you found that spot.

360
00:13:56,117 --> 00:13:58,237
Man, people wait their whole
lives looking for a spot.

361
00:13:58,661 --> 00:14:00,955
- Thank you.
- And here, you've been blessed.

362
00:14:02,540 --> 00:14:03,583
With a spot.

363
00:14:06,085 --> 00:14:08,504
Okay, so I do have a few changes.

364
00:14:08,588 --> 00:14:09,881
Take or leave.

365
00:14:09,964 --> 00:14:12,008
What if we kill off
Jessica Night in the next book?

366
00:14:12,091 --> 00:14:13,760
What?

367
00:14:13,843 --> 00:14:15,821
I was thinking that she could be
Schmith's next victim.

368
00:14:15,845 --> 00:14:17,555
We could do it in a big way,

369
00:14:17,639 --> 00:14:19,057
like, he drops a piano on her head.

370
00:14:19,140 --> 00:14:21,517
- Done-zo.
- What?

371
00:14:21,601 --> 00:14:23,361
Maybe she takes
a baseball right to the face.

372
00:14:23,394 --> 00:14:24,687
Batter out!

373
00:14:24,771 --> 00:14:26,064
Have you ever done this before?

374
00:14:26,147 --> 00:14:27,523
Yes, actually.

375
00:14:27,607 --> 00:14:29,084
I published the entire Bitch Witch series.

376
00:14:29,108 --> 00:14:31,069
Bitch Witch Christmas,
Bitch Witch Prom Night,

377
00:14:31,152 --> 00:14:33,071
and Bitch Witches of Rhode Island.

378
00:14:33,154 --> 00:14:35,949
- Yeah. Okay.
- Look, Nick, I… I get

379
00:14:36,032 --> 00:14:37,450
that you're afraid to make changes.

380
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:41,120
Actually, I'm not afraid.

381
00:14:42,997 --> 00:14:44,317
Okay, then you'll think about it.

382
00:14:49,003 --> 00:14:50,397
No, I'm not gonna make those changes

383
00:14:50,421 --> 00:14:52,549
because those-those ideas are really bad.

384
00:14:52,632 --> 00:14:54,512
- Well, I…
- Jessica Night is the whole reason

385
00:14:54,551 --> 00:14:57,178
Pepperwood gets out of bed every day.

386
00:14:57,262 --> 00:14:58,304
Schmidt?

387
00:14:58,388 --> 00:15:00,807
You were right! Schmidt?

388
00:15:00,890 --> 00:15:02,392
Uh, he had to go, but he left

389
00:15:02,475 --> 00:15:04,686
the name and number
of his favorite Uber driver,

390
00:15:04,769 --> 00:15:07,063
uh, Beezus "The Man" Tequito.

391
00:15:07,146 --> 00:15:08,690
All right.

392
00:15:08,773 --> 00:15:10,066
Mr. Beezus.

393
00:15:10,149 --> 00:15:11,818
Mr. Schmidt likes to party.

394
00:15:11,901 --> 00:15:12,944
You like to party?

395
00:15:13,027 --> 00:15:15,530
Wh… Oh, very cool lights.

396
00:15:15,613 --> 00:15:18,157
But, no, uh, Beezus, I…
I don't like to party…

397
00:15:18,241 --> 00:15:20,034
It's not the first time I've heard that.

398
00:15:20,118 --> 00:15:21,160
I'm gonna go see a girl.

399
00:15:21,244 --> 00:15:22,787
- Oh, good for you.
- Yeah.

400
00:15:23,621 --> 00:15:24,622
Want to hear some music?

401
00:15:24,706 --> 00:15:26,165
Sure, yeah, that could be inspiring.

402
00:15:26,249 --> 00:15:28,126
Hot cross buns.

403
00:15:28,209 --> 00:15:29,419
Hot cross buns.

404
00:15:29,502 --> 00:15:31,129
One a penny, two a penny.

405
00:15:31,212 --> 00:15:33,464
Hot cross buns.

406
00:15:36,301 --> 00:15:37,427
Second chorus.

407
00:15:37,510 --> 00:15:39,012
Hot cross buns.

408
00:15:39,095 --> 00:15:40,155
Yeah, I cannot believe Schmidt likes this.

409
00:15:40,179 --> 00:15:41,306
Good when they're old.

410
00:15:41,389 --> 00:15:42,932
But eat 'em when you can.

411
00:15:43,016 --> 00:15:45,226
They're not as good when they're cold.

412
00:15:45,310 --> 00:15:46,978
Hot cross buns.

413
00:15:54,235 --> 00:15:56,237
Last box in the truck. Hmm.

414
00:15:56,321 --> 00:15:59,157
I haven't seen this room
this empty since Steve left.

415
00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:00,617
Who's Steve?

416
00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:02,178
Oh, he was the guy who lived
in this room before Jess.

417
00:16:02,202 --> 00:16:04,162
Real night screamer.

418
00:16:04,245 --> 00:16:06,831
He couldn't sleep unless he was
screaming a whole bunch. Yeah.

419
00:16:06,915 --> 00:16:09,000
I guess I should give you my keys.

420
00:16:09,083 --> 00:16:10,963
Are you really not gonna
tell Nick how you feel?

421
00:16:12,128 --> 00:16:14,005
That's such a Steve move.

422
00:16:14,088 --> 00:16:15,798
Steve was in love with Nick?

423
00:16:15,882 --> 00:16:17,550
Oh, yeah, and he never told him.

424
00:16:17,634 --> 00:16:19,886
That sweet, gay coward.

425
00:16:19,969 --> 00:16:22,180
Maybe Steve left this place and, and…

426
00:16:22,263 --> 00:16:25,642
And finally got the space
that he needed to

427
00:16:25,725 --> 00:16:27,560
become a better version of himself.

428
00:16:27,644 --> 00:16:29,121
Yeah, I mean, he's selling
tires in Little Rock.

429
00:16:29,145 --> 00:16:31,606
Okay, well, forget Steve.
Look, I know I'm being a coward.

430
00:16:31,689 --> 00:16:33,608
Jess, I know you.

431
00:16:33,691 --> 00:16:36,027
You can't walk away
without talking to him.

432
00:16:36,110 --> 00:16:38,905
This is how I have to move on, and…

433
00:16:38,988 --> 00:16:40,114
I have to go.

434
00:16:41,783 --> 00:16:42,784
Let's get on the road.

435
00:16:42,867 --> 00:16:44,160
Okay.

436
00:16:45,995 --> 00:16:47,080
Wait.

437
00:16:58,758 --> 00:17:00,218
You've reached Van.
Leave a message.

438
00:17:04,138 --> 00:17:05,598
Hello, Van.

439
00:17:05,682 --> 00:17:07,392
This is Winston Bishop.

440
00:17:07,475 --> 00:17:09,060
I'm your son.

441
00:17:09,143 --> 00:17:11,521
I'm calling to tell you
that I am getting married

442
00:17:11,604 --> 00:17:14,482
to the most amazing woman in the world.

443
00:17:16,025 --> 00:17:17,253
And I turned out pretty great, too,

444
00:17:17,277 --> 00:17:20,822
so, um… Call me whenever you're ready.

445
00:17:20,905 --> 00:17:23,074
Oh, also, I have a cat.

446
00:17:23,157 --> 00:17:24,927
He's not ready to have
a relationship with you,

447
00:17:24,951 --> 00:17:27,704
so just don't try to force it on him.

448
00:17:30,164 --> 00:17:32,417
Yeah, so…

449
00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:34,294
Now it's your turn.

450
00:17:34,377 --> 00:17:35,628
Be brave.

451
00:17:35,712 --> 00:17:37,505
I can't.

452
00:17:37,589 --> 00:17:38,965
I'm sorry.

453
00:17:44,178 --> 00:17:46,306
Hey, babe, I'm back.

454
00:17:46,389 --> 00:17:47,515
Whew!

455
00:17:49,392 --> 00:17:50,435
What's, uh…

456
00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:53,521
What's happening?

457
00:17:53,605 --> 00:17:56,274
I'm pregnant.

458
00:17:56,357 --> 00:17:58,526
- What?
- I mean, you're pregnant.

459
00:17:58,610 --> 00:18:00,069
We're pregnant.

460
00:18:00,153 --> 00:18:01,905
Sadie called you,

461
00:18:01,988 --> 00:18:04,282
and Jess picked up,

462
00:18:04,365 --> 00:18:06,451
then she called again
and Winston picked up,

463
00:18:06,534 --> 00:18:07,869
Winston told me.

464
00:18:07,952 --> 00:18:09,704
It's an upsetting scene, but, um,

465
00:18:09,787 --> 00:18:11,789
we're having a baby, Cece.

466
00:18:11,873 --> 00:18:13,583
I wanted to buy you flowers,

467
00:18:13,666 --> 00:18:16,961
but I couldn't pick out which ones, so…

468
00:18:17,045 --> 00:18:19,172
We're having a baby?

469
00:18:19,255 --> 00:18:21,966
We're having a baby.

470
00:18:22,050 --> 00:18:23,384
We're having a baby.

471
00:18:25,970 --> 00:18:28,181
I really didn't think
it was gonna happen for us.

472
00:18:28,264 --> 00:18:29,557
It's a caramel miracle.

473
00:18:39,317 --> 00:18:41,277
Don't forget
to give me five stars!

474
00:18:41,361 --> 00:18:42,779
Three and a half! Thanks, Beezus!

475
00:18:42,862 --> 00:18:44,572
Hey, let's turn on some music.

476
00:18:46,407 --> 00:18:48,535
Oldies station okay, everybody?

477
00:18:48,785 --> 00:18:51,287
I think I'd be really happy
working as a mover.

478
00:18:51,371 --> 00:18:53,039
I like the gloves,

479
00:18:53,122 --> 00:18:55,166
like the excitement.

480
00:18:55,250 --> 00:18:57,585
It's the truth.

481
00:18:57,669 --> 00:19:00,421
And I owe it all to you…

482
00:19:00,505 --> 00:19:02,131
Sit back and watch the job get done.

483
00:19:02,215 --> 00:19:03,550
Winston's right.

484
00:19:03,633 --> 00:19:04,801
Portland, huh?

485
00:19:04,884 --> 00:19:06,427
Land of the muskrat.

486
00:19:06,511 --> 00:19:08,763
- Pull over!
- I mean, I'm in the middle…

487
00:19:08,846 --> 00:19:10,407
- Just pull over.
- We're in traffic. We're parked!

488
00:19:10,431 --> 00:19:11,492
I was just trying to, you know…
Okay, I'll go up.

489
00:19:11,516 --> 00:19:13,226
I'll go up a few blocks, that's fine.

490
00:19:14,852 --> 00:19:15,853
Jess?

491
00:19:31,661 --> 00:19:34,664
Can anyone
help me get in the building?

492
00:19:34,747 --> 00:19:35,832
Hey, dog!

493
00:19:35,915 --> 00:19:37,208
Can you bark for someone?

494
00:19:38,459 --> 00:19:39,460
Bark, dog!

495
00:19:39,544 --> 00:19:41,129
Bark!

496
00:19:44,507 --> 00:19:46,426
Ah! Screw you.

497
00:19:48,261 --> 00:19:50,680
Can anyone help me get in the building?

498
00:19:50,763 --> 00:19:53,182
I gave away my key!

499
00:19:53,266 --> 00:19:55,310
- Anyone?
- Jess!

500
00:19:59,856 --> 00:20:02,150
Hang on, I'm coming down!

501
00:20:10,450 --> 00:20:12,076
Oh, hey, hold the door. Thanks.

502
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:14,495
Now you find your voice?

503
00:20:14,579 --> 00:20:17,498
But I hear sounds in my mind…

504
00:20:17,582 --> 00:20:18,750
Come on, come on, come on.

505
00:20:22,170 --> 00:20:24,380
Brand-new sounds in my mind…

506
00:20:24,464 --> 00:20:25,882
Come on.

507
00:20:27,508 --> 00:20:28,801
But, honey

508
00:20:28,885 --> 00:20:30,929
I'll be seeing you.

509
00:20:31,012 --> 00:20:32,305
Ever I go.

510
00:20:35,225 --> 00:20:38,645
But, honey, I'll be seeing you.

511
00:20:38,728 --> 00:20:40,480
Down every road…

512
00:20:42,941 --> 00:20:44,275
Jess, where'd you go?

513
00:20:44,359 --> 00:20:46,236
- Jess!
- Nick!

514
00:20:46,319 --> 00:20:48,154
Why are you down there?

515
00:20:48,238 --> 00:20:49,948
Stay right there!

516
00:20:50,031 --> 00:20:52,450
'Cause, honey, I'll come get my things.

517
00:20:52,534 --> 00:20:54,869
Come on, come on.

518
00:20:54,953 --> 00:20:55,995
Come on, come on.

519
00:20:56,079 --> 00:20:57,455
That green light.

520
00:20:57,539 --> 00:20:59,499
Oh, I wish I could get my things.

521
00:21:01,251 --> 00:21:03,127
And just let go…

522
00:21:03,211 --> 00:21:04,504
Oh, come on, please go faster.

523
00:21:04,587 --> 00:21:06,148
I got to tell my best friend
I'm in love with her.

524
00:21:06,172 --> 00:21:08,192
Take a shower first. I never
seen anyone sweat so much.

525
00:21:08,216 --> 00:21:10,027
- You take a shower! You smell terrible!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

526
00:21:10,051 --> 00:21:12,428
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- You smell terrible!

527
00:21:15,014 --> 00:21:16,474
Hey, Miller.

528
00:21:16,558 --> 00:21:18,184
Hey.

529
00:21:29,571 --> 00:21:32,448
That green light, I want it.

530
00:21:35,535 --> 00:21:37,745
I'm waiting for it, that green light