1 00:00:20,041 --> 00:00:21,641 I can't believe we still haven't told them. 2 00:00:21,710 --> 00:00:24,297 I guess it just was never the right time. 3 00:00:24,368 --> 00:00:27,202 Well, I guess we're simply out of time. 4 00:00:29,239 --> 00:00:32,540 - You're on with Schmidt and Cece. - Ruth's on! 5 00:00:32,609 --> 00:00:34,393 Hey, you're on with Jess and Nick. I'm patching in 6 00:00:34,418 --> 00:00:35,802 Winston, Aly and Dan Bill. 7 00:00:35,879 --> 00:00:37,379 Are we really calling him Dan Bill? 8 00:00:37,447 --> 00:00:39,447 It sounds like a weird town in Connecticut. 9 00:00:39,516 --> 00:00:41,716 It's their child. Their mistake to make, okay? 10 00:00:41,784 --> 00:00:44,152 Mm. That's a nice touch. 11 00:00:44,221 --> 00:00:45,720 Yeah, good vibe, good vibe. 12 00:00:45,788 --> 00:00:47,978 - Hella? - It's Jess and Nick. 13 00:00:48,025 --> 00:00:50,057 I'm patching in Schmidt, Cece and Ruth. 14 00:00:50,126 --> 00:00:53,195 Cece, Schmidt and Ruth, you're on with Jess, Nick, 15 00:00:53,226 --> 00:00:54,395 Winston, Aly and Dan Bill. 16 00:00:54,463 --> 00:00:56,230 - Hey, Jess, Nick, Dan Bill... - Hey, Winston, Dan Bill... 17 00:00:56,298 --> 00:00:57,364 - Winston and Aly. - Jess and Nick. 18 00:00:57,433 --> 00:00:58,866 Who are these people? 19 00:00:58,935 --> 00:01:00,234 Hey, Schmidt, Cece, Ruth, Jess and Nick. 20 00:01:00,302 --> 00:01:01,402 Guys, I only have the strength 21 00:01:01,470 --> 00:01:03,037 to say this once. 22 00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:04,739 Here I go. 23 00:01:04,807 --> 00:01:06,740 Oh, God, how do I put this into words? 24 00:01:06,808 --> 00:01:09,576 Okay, make it quick, 'cause my phone is at four percent, 25 00:01:09,645 --> 00:01:11,856 and Ruth has turned my charger into a very sensible belt. 26 00:01:11,888 --> 00:01:14,052 Schmidt, just switch your phone to low battery mode. 27 00:01:14,106 --> 00:01:15,513 It really lengthens battery life. 28 00:01:15,537 --> 00:01:16,584 How do you do that? Walk me through it. 29 00:01:16,585 --> 00:01:18,452 - Go to Utilities. - No, no, Settings. Go to Settings. 30 00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:19,525 Okay, well, I'm-I'm in Settings. 31 00:01:19,564 --> 00:01:21,328 - Guys, please... - Oh, shoot. Now I'm at three percent. 32 00:01:21,388 --> 00:01:22,986 I have something important to say! 33 00:01:23,011 --> 00:01:24,490 And then, uh, open your Control Center. 34 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:26,125 - Battery. Select Battery. - Enough! 35 00:01:26,194 --> 00:01:27,360 - Oh, no, I got it. - Jess has something really important 36 00:01:27,429 --> 00:01:29,796 to say, so everybody shut up! 37 00:01:31,667 --> 00:01:33,366 Jess, go ahead. 38 00:01:35,097 --> 00:01:37,136 I can't tell you this over the phone. 39 00:01:37,205 --> 00:01:39,038 Get over here before it's too late. 40 00:01:39,107 --> 00:01:40,540 She can tell you, she can tell you. Go ahead. 41 00:01:40,608 --> 00:01:42,542 - Bye. - Oh! What a waste of... 42 00:01:42,610 --> 00:01:44,777 Good job. 43 00:01:44,845 --> 00:01:46,312 - What is it? - You're getting divorced? 44 00:01:46,381 --> 00:01:47,547 Well, that lasted a month. 45 00:01:47,615 --> 00:01:49,823 What? No! Jess, go ahead. 46 00:01:49,862 --> 00:01:53,018 I hate to be the bearer of truly terrible news... 47 00:01:53,088 --> 00:01:54,720 Jess, can you please tell us? I'm so scared. 48 00:01:54,789 --> 00:01:56,722 You should be. This is... 49 00:01:56,791 --> 00:01:59,058 this is life-changing stuff. 50 00:01:59,126 --> 00:02:00,626 Brace yourselves. 51 00:02:00,695 --> 00:02:03,629 Nick and I are... 52 00:02:04,281 --> 00:02:05,998 moving out of the loft. 53 00:02:08,864 --> 00:02:10,597 - That's it? - Okay. 54 00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:11,803 That's what you called us here for? 55 00:02:11,871 --> 00:02:13,638 Why do you always think like a character 56 00:02:13,707 --> 00:02:15,026 in The Baby-Sitters Club? 57 00:02:15,051 --> 00:02:17,728 Okay, okay, you guys process this however you need to. 58 00:02:17,753 --> 00:02:19,578 You're probably wondering why we would ever move out 59 00:02:19,646 --> 00:02:21,808 - in the first place. - Yeah, honey, you should've moved out 60 00:02:21,833 --> 00:02:23,148 when the elevator plunged into the basement 61 00:02:23,217 --> 00:02:25,528 - and killed the mailman. - We got an eviction notice. 62 00:02:25,583 --> 00:02:27,652 They're kicking us out in 24 hours. 63 00:02:27,721 --> 00:02:30,822 Some evil company called Engram Pattersky Management Group 64 00:02:30,890 --> 00:02:32,323 bought the building. 65 00:02:32,391 --> 00:02:35,994 Yeah, they're kicking us out on our... "too-tookuses." 66 00:02:36,062 --> 00:02:37,328 You trying to say "tuchases"? 67 00:02:37,396 --> 00:02:38,663 "Tuchaseses." 68 00:02:38,732 --> 00:02:40,264 - "Tuchas"? - "Tookases." 69 00:02:40,333 --> 00:02:43,250 Luckily, Nick and I found a very nice two-bedroom 70 00:02:43,281 --> 00:02:45,603 with a lovely reading nook. That doesn't matter. 71 00:02:45,671 --> 00:02:47,271 The point is, we're moving out tomorrow, 72 00:02:47,340 --> 00:02:49,440 and I know how much this place means to you guys, so... 73 00:02:49,516 --> 00:02:52,016 whatever you're thinking or feeling, 74 00:02:52,077 --> 00:02:53,764 I want you to get it out. 75 00:02:53,850 --> 00:02:55,468 So whoever wants to go first... 76 00:02:59,257 --> 00:03:01,616 Okay, I don't think you guys fully heard me. 77 00:03:02,436 --> 00:03:05,028 So I'm gonna say it again. 78 00:03:05,054 --> 00:03:06,623 Nick and I are m... 79 00:03:06,692 --> 00:03:09,952 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 80 00:03:10,029 --> 00:03:11,361 moving out of the loft. 81 00:03:11,429 --> 00:03:12,529 Okay, if you're moving out tomorrow, 82 00:03:12,597 --> 00:03:13,864 why have you not packed yet? 83 00:03:13,932 --> 00:03:16,033 Don't packing-shame us! We're well on our way. 84 00:03:16,101 --> 00:03:17,800 We got four boxes right there. 85 00:03:17,855 --> 00:03:19,619 I ran out of tape, so I started using glue. 86 00:03:19,644 --> 00:03:20,470 We'll see how it holds up. 87 00:03:20,539 --> 00:03:23,206 Cool. Anyway, uh, I'm taking off. 88 00:03:23,282 --> 00:03:24,514 Hey, let me know when you have the housewarming 89 00:03:24,576 --> 00:03:26,376 for your new place. I'll bring the succulents. 90 00:03:26,444 --> 00:03:28,645 You never brought us succulents. We love succulents. 91 00:03:28,713 --> 00:03:31,121 Ah, you got me. I don't know what a succulent is. 92 00:03:31,146 --> 00:03:33,049 I just said that so I can get the hell out of here. 93 00:03:33,117 --> 00:03:34,483 But I really do got 94 00:03:34,552 --> 00:03:37,219 to get going. It's my turn to nurse the baby. 95 00:03:37,288 --> 00:03:39,055 - How does he... - It's a whole thing. 96 00:03:39,123 --> 00:03:42,021 Wow, you guys are in so much denial. You're so upset 97 00:03:42,046 --> 00:03:43,959 by this news that you're distracting yourself 98 00:03:44,028 --> 00:03:47,730 with nonsense like-like succulents and newborn babies. 99 00:03:47,799 --> 00:03:50,842 Uh, we left Ruth with our neighbor's stepson, Yonk, 100 00:03:50,881 --> 00:03:51,900 so we're gonna go. 101 00:03:51,968 --> 00:03:53,602 Yeah, honey, we're not in denial, okay? 102 00:03:53,671 --> 00:03:55,604 We've just done everything we need to do in this loft. 103 00:03:55,673 --> 00:03:57,072 We're ready to say good-bye. 104 00:03:57,140 --> 00:03:59,841 Right. Right. Yeah. 105 00:04:00,641 --> 00:04:03,785 Yeah, Cece, you're right. You're totally right. You're all... 106 00:04:04,126 --> 00:04:05,780 totally right. 107 00:04:05,849 --> 00:04:07,615 Or are you wrong? 108 00:04:07,895 --> 00:04:11,419 Nobody leaves until we celebrate this place! 109 00:04:12,301 --> 00:04:14,089 Okay? So call your sitters, call your babies, 110 00:04:14,157 --> 00:04:16,024 get all your affairs in order. 111 00:04:16,093 --> 00:04:18,498 I'm gonna go open a bottle of wine. Pink okay? 112 00:04:18,537 --> 00:04:21,696 Well, I guess I'll call Yonk and tell him to get cozy. 113 00:04:21,765 --> 00:04:23,797 Ugh, I can hear Yonk now. 114 00:04:23,866 --> 00:04:25,433 "Mr. Schmidt, I got thirsty. 115 00:04:25,501 --> 00:04:27,101 I drank all your coconut water." 116 00:04:27,169 --> 00:04:29,002 Freakin' Yonk. 117 00:04:29,071 --> 00:04:30,971 Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. 118 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:33,107 Okay, why are we hiding in your office? 119 00:04:33,175 --> 00:04:34,942 Because, guys, look, I love my wife. 120 00:04:35,010 --> 00:04:37,144 You guys know that I love my wife. But she's clearly going 121 00:04:37,213 --> 00:04:39,547 through something about us leaving the loft. It's like... 122 00:04:39,616 --> 00:04:41,815 it's like she's having a really hard time getting her mouth 123 00:04:41,884 --> 00:04:43,650 around the sandwich, do you know what I mean? 124 00:04:43,719 --> 00:04:46,053 If you guys want to get out of here, which I know you do, 125 00:04:46,122 --> 00:04:48,355 then you will laugh when she says laugh, 126 00:04:48,423 --> 00:04:51,024 you will cry when she says cry, 127 00:04:51,093 --> 00:04:52,826 and in between, we're gonna pack. 128 00:04:52,902 --> 00:04:54,568 I really miss the old days when I would just drop in 129 00:04:54,630 --> 00:04:56,963 every now and then and pick up a suitcase or something. 130 00:04:57,031 --> 00:04:59,065 I only have the moving truck for 24 hours. 131 00:04:59,134 --> 00:05:00,667 If I go one minute over, 132 00:05:00,736 --> 00:05:03,336 those bastards will charge me for a whole nother day. 133 00:05:03,420 --> 00:05:06,187 If you get a whole nother day, might as well get a second week. 134 00:05:06,241 --> 00:05:09,333 You get a second week, you might as well buy the truck, 135 00:05:09,358 --> 00:05:11,844 'cause you're livin' in it, Charlie! You live in a mo... 136 00:05:11,913 --> 00:05:14,747 The point I'm trying to make is we need to pack right now. 137 00:05:14,816 --> 00:05:16,182 I love packing. 138 00:05:16,251 --> 00:05:18,017 You wouldn't believe how good I am 139 00:05:18,086 --> 00:05:21,020 at fitting multiple things into small spaces. 140 00:05:21,089 --> 00:05:23,189 I'm a bento box boy. 141 00:05:23,901 --> 00:05:26,367 - What's in that box? - What? 142 00:05:26,392 --> 00:05:28,626 What's the box that says "gross stuff," man? 143 00:05:29,097 --> 00:05:30,763 Jessica's underpants. 144 00:05:31,345 --> 00:05:33,098 You have Jess's panties in a box? 145 00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:36,134 Well, while I'm delighted 146 00:05:36,203 --> 00:05:38,370 that you have a box... 147 00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:41,206 labeled "gross stuff" of your wife's... 148 00:05:41,275 --> 00:05:43,208 undergarments, uh, 149 00:05:43,277 --> 00:05:46,377 I also feel like you may be lying to me. 150 00:05:46,446 --> 00:05:48,897 Yoo-hoo, guys! Yoo-hoo! 151 00:05:48,983 --> 00:05:51,186 Yoo-frickin'-hoo! 152 00:05:51,233 --> 00:05:53,785 Just remember, if you want to get out of here, play along. 153 00:06:05,029 --> 00:06:06,457 Behold! 154 00:06:06,506 --> 00:06:09,066 Objects from your past to make you remember and... 155 00:06:09,135 --> 00:06:11,108 Oh, God, the chair is still spinning. Oh, my God. 156 00:06:11,155 --> 00:06:12,570 You guys, I'm on a dolly. 157 00:06:12,639 --> 00:06:14,205 I'm on a greased up dolly, and I'm holding fire. 158 00:06:14,273 --> 00:06:15,973 Guys, guys, guys, guys... 159 00:06:16,433 --> 00:06:18,520 If we scatter now, one of us can get out 160 00:06:18,578 --> 00:06:20,377 and bring help for the rest. 161 00:06:22,026 --> 00:06:23,501 Take in the memories. 162 00:06:23,558 --> 00:06:25,877 Let these objects be the milkshake 163 00:06:25,941 --> 00:06:28,683 that bring your memory boys to the emotion yard. 164 00:06:28,746 --> 00:06:30,379 - I swore we threw all this stuff away. - Wow, I can't believe you 165 00:06:30,461 --> 00:06:33,498 - saved all this stuff. How cool is that? - But we're really happy it's back. 166 00:06:33,523 --> 00:06:34,717 - We're all really happy. Thank you. - Yeah. 167 00:06:34,785 --> 00:06:36,485 I knew you guys needed to say good-bye. 168 00:06:36,554 --> 00:06:38,958 Isn't it amazing how easy it is 169 00:06:38,997 --> 00:06:41,817 to do the right thing when you have no other alternative? 170 00:06:41,865 --> 00:06:43,096 Totally. 171 00:06:43,165 --> 00:06:44,864 Like this. 172 00:06:44,903 --> 00:06:47,067 Ah, the old loft candy dish. 173 00:06:48,604 --> 00:06:50,709 That's the cast from when I broke my penis. 174 00:06:50,733 --> 00:06:52,442 Shut up! 175 00:06:52,467 --> 00:06:54,274 You know, most people wouldn't want to revisit 176 00:06:54,343 --> 00:06:56,477 some of the more painful moments in their lives, but, 177 00:06:56,546 --> 00:06:58,946 you know what, Jess, thank you for this, 'cause I do. 178 00:06:59,014 --> 00:07:01,648 - Thank you. - Oh, Schmidt, you take that. 179 00:07:01,716 --> 00:07:03,383 You're gonna want it. 180 00:07:03,452 --> 00:07:06,253 Honestly, it's your penis. You earned it. 181 00:07:06,322 --> 00:07:07,493 - Put it in your purse. - Excuse me? 182 00:07:07,517 --> 00:07:09,147 - Go put it in your purse. - I am not putting it in my purse. 183 00:07:09,172 --> 00:07:10,924 - Please, Cece, just put it in your purse. - I am not gonna go put it... 184 00:07:10,993 --> 00:07:12,592 - We'll just leave it here. - We'll put it right there. 185 00:07:12,661 --> 00:07:13,967 Remember this? 186 00:07:13,991 --> 00:07:15,958 Oh! Looks just like us! 187 00:07:15,983 --> 00:07:18,665 - We always pose like that. - Can we talk about those skin tones? 188 00:07:18,733 --> 00:07:21,400 Oh, Nick, this one is so special. 189 00:07:21,470 --> 00:07:23,436 - Wow. - The wand I used to fix the, uh, 190 00:07:23,505 --> 00:07:25,304 garbage disposal. That one time. 191 00:07:25,359 --> 00:07:27,225 Did we find the garbage wand 192 00:07:27,250 --> 00:07:29,218 or did the garbage wand find us? 193 00:07:29,265 --> 00:07:31,363 I remember the day I found it. I thought, 194 00:07:31,432 --> 00:07:32,964 "Free stick." 195 00:07:33,034 --> 00:07:34,400 - Ha! - Then I brought it home, 196 00:07:34,468 --> 00:07:36,235 and it fit into the sink hole. 197 00:07:36,303 --> 00:07:37,536 - Mm. - And somewhere along 198 00:07:37,604 --> 00:07:39,905 the way, it fixed my heart hole. 199 00:07:39,973 --> 00:07:42,374 - It fixed your heart hole? - So, thank you, stick. 200 00:07:42,443 --> 00:07:43,633 - Okay. - I have a tear. 201 00:07:43,658 --> 00:07:45,244 - That about sums it up. - Yeah. 202 00:07:45,312 --> 00:07:46,578 Jess, I will never, 203 00:07:46,647 --> 00:07:48,447 ever forget the night that you brought us 204 00:07:48,516 --> 00:07:51,282 all together to show us a bunch of our old trash. 205 00:07:51,351 --> 00:07:52,758 - We should let you pack. - Okay. 206 00:07:52,783 --> 00:07:53,978 - Thank you. - Thank you so... 207 00:07:54,002 --> 00:07:55,274 - No! - Huh? 208 00:07:55,321 --> 00:07:56,749 No one's going anywhere. 209 00:07:56,774 --> 00:07:58,089 We're gonna do all the things in the loft 210 00:07:58,158 --> 00:07:59,257 that we haven't done before. 211 00:07:59,325 --> 00:08:01,717 Like what? 212 00:08:02,029 --> 00:08:03,595 I can't believe we've never all stood out 213 00:08:03,664 --> 00:08:05,096 on the balcony together. 214 00:08:05,165 --> 00:08:07,932 You know who else liked balconies? Hitler. 215 00:08:08,008 --> 00:08:10,042 Let's go inside. Let's do more things. 216 00:08:10,103 --> 00:08:12,937 I can't believe you've never cleaned the oven, Cece. 217 00:08:13,005 --> 00:08:16,707 I think, I think if we just do this, 218 00:08:16,776 --> 00:08:19,043 and this, and turn it up real high... 219 00:08:19,112 --> 00:08:21,212 I heard that that could work. 220 00:08:21,281 --> 00:08:22,546 Yeah. What else should we do? 221 00:08:22,615 --> 00:08:24,481 We could all just pack and move Jess and I 222 00:08:24,550 --> 00:08:26,784 out of the loft; we've never done that. 223 00:08:26,852 --> 00:08:28,819 It's a joke. It's a joke for sentimentals. 224 00:08:28,888 --> 00:08:31,295 - It's a sentimental joke. - Oh. I know. 225 00:08:31,326 --> 00:08:32,322 Th-This is a big one. 226 00:08:32,391 --> 00:08:34,004 You know, I've never looked around the corner, 227 00:08:34,051 --> 00:08:36,134 in the hallway past the bathroom. Like, what's over there? 228 00:08:36,195 --> 00:08:37,461 Oh my God, what is over there? 229 00:08:37,529 --> 00:08:38,828 - What is over there? - Yeah. 230 00:08:38,871 --> 00:08:40,964 - Whose team are you on? - I play for myself. 231 00:08:44,236 --> 00:08:45,835 It's just a wall. 232 00:08:45,904 --> 00:08:49,139 My turn. Cece and I need to use the urinals. 233 00:08:49,208 --> 00:08:50,673 Follow me. 234 00:08:52,611 --> 00:08:54,344 Oh, n-n-no, no, no, no, no. 235 00:08:54,413 --> 00:08:56,345 You just opened Pantera's box. 236 00:08:56,414 --> 00:08:58,157 We do not have time for this right now. 237 00:08:58,212 --> 00:08:59,857 We will get in... 238 00:09:08,456 --> 00:09:09,692 Peppermint lotion? 239 00:09:09,761 --> 00:09:12,094 It's for your feet. 240 00:09:13,664 --> 00:09:15,197 Yay. I love it. 241 00:09:15,266 --> 00:09:16,665 I knew it! 242 00:09:16,734 --> 00:09:18,767 - Nailed it. - Great gift. 243 00:09:18,836 --> 00:09:20,018 Oh, I'm gonna get you one every year. 244 00:09:20,043 --> 00:09:21,604 And we're gonna be best friends forever. 245 00:09:21,672 --> 00:09:22,871 I just met you, like, a week ago. 246 00:09:22,940 --> 00:09:25,508 Uh, just 'cause it says "peppermint," 247 00:09:25,576 --> 00:09:27,176 non-edible. 248 00:09:27,245 --> 00:09:29,678 I never would have thought to eat this lotion. 249 00:09:29,747 --> 00:09:32,014 Nicholas, I have been giving you that lotion 250 00:09:32,082 --> 00:09:34,338 - every year since we met. - I know. 251 00:09:34,393 --> 00:09:37,185 I wanted you to experience soft feet for once in your life, 252 00:09:37,254 --> 00:09:40,713 - and you... and you lied to me. - What did you want me to do? 253 00:09:40,768 --> 00:09:43,042 I had just met you when you first gave it to me. 254 00:09:43,112 --> 00:09:46,027 Then you actually gave me the lotion again the following year. 255 00:09:46,095 --> 00:09:48,696 And the lie got on top of me. And now I got all these bottles 256 00:09:48,765 --> 00:09:50,532 of lotion and I don't even know how to do this stuff. 257 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:52,833 You don't know how to "do" foot lotion? 258 00:09:52,902 --> 00:09:54,802 What if I put it on and my feet get... 259 00:09:54,871 --> 00:09:57,372 I don't know, too wet and creamy? 260 00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:00,041 Has everything been a lie? Has this whole relationship...? 261 00:10:00,109 --> 00:10:01,742 Don't call it a relationship, it's a friendship. 262 00:10:01,811 --> 00:10:04,278 Don't belittle what we have by calling it a friendship. 263 00:10:04,346 --> 00:10:06,521 - No, please. - Oh, we don't love each other in Chicago. 264 00:10:06,546 --> 00:10:07,882 We're just friends. 265 00:10:07,950 --> 00:10:10,217 Please, just get over this and help me pack. 266 00:10:10,286 --> 00:10:11,819 Sure. You've lied to me for years, 267 00:10:11,888 --> 00:10:14,055 but let's just ignore it so I can help you pack 268 00:10:14,123 --> 00:10:15,556 while humoring your wife 269 00:10:15,624 --> 00:10:17,558 - pretending to care. - What? 270 00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:20,994 You guys were humoring me? 271 00:10:21,063 --> 00:10:24,097 Nick, you told everyone to pretend to care? 272 00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:26,966 Jess, it's not about that. It's about the truck. 273 00:10:27,035 --> 00:10:29,069 I didn't want to go a minute over the 24 hours, 274 00:10:29,137 --> 00:10:31,137 because then I, you know, I need to pay for a second day. 275 00:10:31,207 --> 00:10:32,806 Jess. 276 00:10:32,874 --> 00:10:35,075 Wait, Jess. I'm sorry. 277 00:10:35,143 --> 00:10:38,411 You guys were just playing along with this? 278 00:10:38,479 --> 00:10:41,781 I thought you were just starting to feel something. 279 00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:45,946 Wait. Am I the one who's in denial about leaving this place? 280 00:10:46,024 --> 00:10:48,788 Ugh, you sweet, goblin-eyed dum-dum. 281 00:10:48,857 --> 00:10:49,923 Babe, I think the rest of us 282 00:10:49,991 --> 00:10:52,091 have already made peace with this. 283 00:10:52,159 --> 00:10:53,859 No, I get it. 284 00:10:53,928 --> 00:10:55,595 I'm not mad. I just... 285 00:10:55,663 --> 00:10:58,097 People live together in apartments all the time. 286 00:10:58,165 --> 00:11:00,600 And you guys have lives and kids. 287 00:11:00,668 --> 00:11:03,102 And this is just a place. 288 00:11:03,170 --> 00:11:05,804 But to me, this is the place where I met all of you. 289 00:11:05,873 --> 00:11:07,106 And that's... 290 00:11:07,174 --> 00:11:09,441 that's the best thing that... 291 00:11:09,509 --> 00:11:11,276 that ever happened to me, so... 292 00:11:12,179 --> 00:11:14,279 Consider yourselves freed. 293 00:11:15,682 --> 00:11:17,890 The lock never really worked, anyway. 294 00:11:22,812 --> 00:11:24,155 Put that down. 295 00:11:24,224 --> 00:11:25,957 We are not going anywhere. 296 00:11:26,025 --> 00:11:28,357 Yeah, we're gonna say good-bye all day. 297 00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:29,490 All day. 298 00:11:29,514 --> 00:11:31,011 - All day! - What? 299 00:11:31,036 --> 00:11:32,457 - That's not it. - You don't say it like that. 300 00:11:32,482 --> 00:11:34,011 It's like, all day. 301 00:11:34,036 --> 00:11:35,332 - All... - All day! 302 00:11:35,357 --> 00:11:37,858 Guys, second day 303 00:11:37,926 --> 00:11:41,215 - of a moving truck on me. - There we go. 304 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:42,428 - That's a big step. - Thank you. 305 00:11:42,497 --> 00:11:44,364 But I'm not doing the insurance. I won't do it. I can't do it. 306 00:11:44,432 --> 00:11:46,138 - It's a rip-off. It's a freakin' rip-off. - Chill, chill, bro. 307 00:12:01,101 --> 00:12:02,314 Don't look so surprised, guys. 308 00:12:02,383 --> 00:12:04,585 You knew what this was. 309 00:12:07,477 --> 00:12:09,406 Ah, we had some times here 310 00:12:09,453 --> 00:12:12,023 - Mmm. - I mean this, right here, 311 00:12:12,079 --> 00:12:14,626 right where I'm sitting, is the exact spot 312 00:12:14,657 --> 00:12:18,683 that I realized: I should have less salt in my diet. 313 00:12:19,555 --> 00:12:21,919 I should have less salt in my diet. 314 00:12:21,988 --> 00:12:24,221 That's beautiful, man. Stay healthy, baby. 315 00:12:24,251 --> 00:12:26,618 - Good memories. - Oh, my God. 316 00:12:26,687 --> 00:12:30,255 This is the spot, where, for the weirdest minute of my life, 317 00:12:30,324 --> 00:12:32,658 I was super attracted to Winston. 318 00:12:32,727 --> 00:12:34,326 - No. - We've all been there. 319 00:12:34,395 --> 00:12:35,728 It was my swimmer's body. 320 00:12:35,796 --> 00:12:38,163 Ooh. Ooh, hey. 321 00:12:38,232 --> 00:12:40,565 Yeah, they got me on bike duty today. 322 00:12:40,633 --> 00:12:42,433 My hammies need to get into some jammies 323 00:12:42,502 --> 00:12:45,357 because they are rock-hard. 324 00:12:46,888 --> 00:12:48,573 Yes. 325 00:12:48,649 --> 00:12:51,107 Oh, yeah. That's good stuff. 326 00:12:51,186 --> 00:12:54,412 You feel that? You hear that? Yeah. 327 00:12:54,481 --> 00:12:56,581 - Oh! - No! 328 00:12:56,649 --> 00:12:57,982 Oh, it went away pretty quick. 329 00:13:00,151 --> 00:13:01,951 I tore my anus. 330 00:13:02,547 --> 00:13:04,621 I tore my anus. Oh. 331 00:13:04,690 --> 00:13:08,157 I was sitting right here when I first introduced you guys 332 00:13:08,226 --> 00:13:10,326 to my hilarious baby voice. 333 00:13:10,396 --> 00:13:14,297 Uh-oh, look who just woke up. 334 00:13:14,366 --> 00:13:17,463 I'm a baby. 335 00:13:17,502 --> 00:13:18,834 I'm a baby 336 00:13:18,904 --> 00:13:21,437 and I need my milkie. Where's my Ba-ba? 337 00:13:21,506 --> 00:13:23,472 - What are you doing? - Put that baby away. 338 00:13:23,541 --> 00:13:25,608 Babies can't talk. It's inherently flawed. 339 00:13:25,676 --> 00:13:27,723 And that's where I met you for the first time. 340 00:13:27,754 --> 00:13:28,993 - Aw. - I remember you said 341 00:13:29,049 --> 00:13:31,237 that was one of your top five boners of all time. 342 00:13:31,291 --> 00:13:32,721 Do you remember you used to rank them? 343 00:13:32,776 --> 00:13:35,377 - Be quiet. - It's just foot lotion. 344 00:13:39,158 --> 00:13:41,149 And right over there is where Cece and I 345 00:13:41,217 --> 00:13:42,617 had our first mess around. 346 00:13:42,686 --> 00:13:43,852 What? Don't tell them. 347 00:13:43,921 --> 00:13:45,253 It's time for the mess around 348 00:13:45,322 --> 00:13:47,055 to become the confess around. 349 00:13:58,194 --> 00:13:59,233 Wait, wait, wait. 350 00:14:00,603 --> 00:14:03,834 Is that a paper plate covered with brown marker to look like floor? 351 00:14:03,897 --> 00:14:04,959 - Yeah. - That's what that is. 352 00:14:05,006 --> 00:14:06,810 - Yeah, yeah. Hmm? - Cece? 353 00:14:06,857 --> 00:14:09,042 If you weren't wearing those dumb-ass shoes, 354 00:14:09,111 --> 00:14:12,813 and I hadn't just gotten that new dope Chaka Khan CD-ROM... 355 00:14:12,882 --> 00:14:15,883 - It was dope as hell. - You would not have become my girl. 356 00:14:15,952 --> 00:14:18,051 - Babe. - Babe. Don't. 357 00:14:19,180 --> 00:14:20,855 - Babe. - Babe. You better stop. 358 00:14:21,368 --> 00:14:24,324 - Babe. Babe. - Mmm. Mm-mmm. 359 00:14:24,393 --> 00:14:25,658 No. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna cry. 360 00:14:25,727 --> 00:14:27,995 There' no point. Nobody said nothing about no crying. 361 00:14:28,049 --> 00:14:30,063 - That's not what this is. - No, no crying. 362 00:14:31,967 --> 00:14:33,433 Wait. Where is Nick? 363 00:14:33,487 --> 00:14:35,568 Clearly, he doesn't like all of this emotion. 364 00:14:35,637 --> 00:14:37,799 He doesn't have a heart in that butter tub 365 00:14:37,854 --> 00:14:39,105 he calls a body anyway. 366 00:14:39,173 --> 00:14:42,241 - He doesn't care about spots. - I'm in here! 367 00:14:46,214 --> 00:14:49,248 You think I don't got spots? I got spots. 368 00:14:49,317 --> 00:14:51,682 "Have." Have spots. 369 00:14:51,713 --> 00:14:53,319 Sorry. Go, keep go... 370 00:14:53,388 --> 00:14:55,695 This spot right here is where my best friend Schmidt and I 371 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:56,992 moved a couch in. 372 00:14:57,017 --> 00:14:58,357 That happened in the living room, Nick. 373 00:14:58,426 --> 00:14:59,858 I know, I just don't want to get up. 374 00:14:59,927 --> 00:15:01,727 You got it? You got it? 375 00:15:01,795 --> 00:15:03,229 I got it. I'm good, I'm good, I'm cool. 376 00:15:03,297 --> 00:15:04,530 I got it. 377 00:15:04,598 --> 00:15:06,899 Houston, we got an "I got it." 378 00:15:08,967 --> 00:15:10,864 Sheesh. 379 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:13,171 Sitting pretty close to each other, 380 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:14,773 - don't you think? - Oh, sorry. 381 00:15:15,372 --> 00:15:17,442 Thanks. 382 00:15:17,511 --> 00:15:19,466 Lot of cool stuff's gonna happen in this loft, huh? 383 00:15:19,505 --> 00:15:20,661 You're telling me, man. 384 00:15:20,723 --> 00:15:22,681 What do you think's gonna happen here in the next... 385 00:15:22,750 --> 00:15:24,115 chunk of our lives? 386 00:15:24,184 --> 00:15:26,284 I don't know. I meet a nice lady. 387 00:15:26,806 --> 00:15:28,753 She wants to have a baby with me. 388 00:15:28,821 --> 00:15:29,954 What does she look like? 389 00:15:30,023 --> 00:15:31,122 Sexy. 390 00:15:31,191 --> 00:15:33,024 Keep going. Right off the jack. 391 00:15:33,093 --> 00:15:35,114 Just, like, you know, like, shows up, 392 00:15:35,139 --> 00:15:36,027 but, like, casually. 393 00:15:36,096 --> 00:15:37,108 - You know what I mean? Like... - Yeah. 394 00:15:37,162 --> 00:15:39,330 wearing a beanie and, like, a little hoodie. 395 00:15:39,399 --> 00:15:40,631 You know what I mean? 396 00:15:40,700 --> 00:15:42,400 Like, sort of, like, an orangish-red hoodie. 397 00:15:48,274 --> 00:15:50,875 Anyway, man, I just wanted to say, uh... 398 00:15:52,144 --> 00:15:53,377 Oh. 399 00:15:53,446 --> 00:15:55,412 all thanks. 400 00:15:55,481 --> 00:15:57,030 I'm done. 401 00:15:57,100 --> 00:15:58,749 Well, it's just lotion. It ain't gonna hurt you, now. 402 00:15:58,818 --> 00:16:00,796 Yeah, go ahead. Slap it in there. 403 00:16:01,954 --> 00:16:04,754 Wow, it's so frickin' creamy. 404 00:16:04,823 --> 00:16:05,922 This is what I've been telling you. 405 00:16:05,991 --> 00:16:08,258 It's really cool. 406 00:16:08,327 --> 00:16:10,736 It actually kind of feels nice. 407 00:16:10,807 --> 00:16:13,564 I mean, I got to say, I really like foot lotion. 408 00:16:13,632 --> 00:16:14,598 Thank you. 409 00:16:14,666 --> 00:16:16,700 They should make more foot lotion for your hand. 410 00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:17,834 Foot lotion hand. 411 00:16:17,903 --> 00:16:20,136 Or... foot-lotion hand. 412 00:16:20,205 --> 00:16:21,404 I don't know. 413 00:16:21,473 --> 00:16:22,772 You should use this for elbows. 414 00:16:22,841 --> 00:16:25,408 You should use lotion for dry parts of your skin. 415 00:16:27,679 --> 00:16:28,712 It's really creamy. 416 00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:29,690 For the first time in my life, 417 00:16:29,768 --> 00:16:31,748 I realize my feet could be more than weapons. 418 00:16:31,817 --> 00:16:33,950 I love you, man. 419 00:16:35,052 --> 00:16:36,852 Oh, yeah, that's... 420 00:16:36,921 --> 00:16:38,721 Well, yeah, man. I, uh... 421 00:16:38,789 --> 00:16:40,189 Is he gonna finally say it? 422 00:16:40,258 --> 00:16:41,790 Guys, don't-don't put any pressure on him. 423 00:16:41,859 --> 00:16:43,392 No, what? Dude, you're not putting pressure on me. 424 00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:44,857 - It's something I want to say. - You don't have to say it. 425 00:16:44,912 --> 00:16:46,529 I don't need to say anything. I want to say it. 426 00:16:46,598 --> 00:16:48,545 - You never said it before. - I love you, man. 427 00:16:48,601 --> 00:16:50,613 - Yes! - Are you kidding me right now? 428 00:16:50,679 --> 00:16:52,567 - Go, Nick! - Are you kidding me? 429 00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:54,236 - I love you, man. We're buddies. - Yes! 430 00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:55,270 Really? 431 00:16:55,295 --> 00:16:58,286 Oh, my feet are so creamy. 432 00:16:58,311 --> 00:16:59,841 You were right. This is what it means 433 00:16:59,877 --> 00:17:00,976 to have soft feet, buddy. 434 00:17:01,045 --> 00:17:02,745 Well, I feel good. 435 00:17:02,813 --> 00:17:04,880 I'm ready to say good-bye to 4D. 436 00:17:04,949 --> 00:17:06,248 No, not yet. 437 00:17:06,316 --> 00:17:08,116 W-We've done everything. 438 00:17:09,219 --> 00:17:11,186 There's one more thing. 439 00:17:14,224 --> 00:17:15,957 JFK! 440 00:17:16,026 --> 00:17:17,292 FDR! 441 00:17:19,048 --> 00:17:20,748 FDR! 442 00:17:23,066 --> 00:17:25,877 - Wait for me. I over-lotioned. - Okay, for the last time, 443 00:17:25,950 --> 00:17:27,550 the game is True American. 444 00:17:27,618 --> 00:17:29,863 - We know the rules. - We know one rule. 445 00:17:29,918 --> 00:17:31,487 The floor is lava! 446 00:17:31,556 --> 00:17:33,506 Tonight we play the game with a twist. 447 00:17:33,545 --> 00:17:35,857 It's True American: Packing Edition. 448 00:17:35,926 --> 00:17:37,859 You land on something, you pack it. 449 00:17:37,928 --> 00:17:40,095 - Shotgun tip-off! - Oh! 450 00:17:41,264 --> 00:17:44,340 54-40 or fight! Whoa! 451 00:17:45,435 --> 00:17:47,235 You go, boy! 452 00:17:48,939 --> 00:17:50,905 The middle class is disappearing! 453 00:17:50,974 --> 00:17:52,773 Mama, where's my pa? 454 00:17:52,842 --> 00:17:55,276 He's in the White House. Ha, ha, ha! 455 00:17:55,345 --> 00:17:58,313 I know a fine brothel right to the left. Yah! 456 00:17:58,381 --> 00:18:00,181 Westward ho. 457 00:18:00,250 --> 00:18:02,117 We're coming for your gold. 458 00:18:02,185 --> 00:18:04,511 Almost to Utah, Uncle Brother. 459 00:18:04,558 --> 00:18:06,553 I like the look of that ox. 460 00:18:06,623 --> 00:18:09,624 - Nailed it. - Manifest destiny. 461 00:18:15,342 --> 00:18:18,092 Oh, yeah! 462 00:18:18,146 --> 00:18:19,378 You got to drink another root beer. 463 00:18:19,433 --> 00:18:21,936 Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! 464 00:18:25,107 --> 00:18:27,374 Chug, chug. Ruth, prohibition has been lifted. 465 00:18:27,443 --> 00:18:29,009 All right. Ready, Moses? 466 00:18:29,077 --> 00:18:30,744 Drink, Moses. Drink, Moses. Come on! 467 00:18:35,417 --> 00:18:37,117 What are you not understanding? 468 00:18:37,186 --> 00:18:38,718 You're all burning in lava right now. 469 00:18:38,787 --> 00:18:40,186 Oklahoma Land Grab! 470 00:18:40,255 --> 00:18:42,221 Sooners, stake your claim! 471 00:18:42,290 --> 00:18:43,857 Come on! 472 00:18:59,407 --> 00:19:00,773 You ready? 473 00:19:00,841 --> 00:19:02,007 Yeah. 474 00:19:02,076 --> 00:19:03,876 - Let's go. - Let's go. 475 00:19:06,847 --> 00:19:07,977 Not my first eviction. 476 00:19:08,071 --> 00:19:10,183 - Won't be my last. - Two, one. 477 00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:14,687 Gotcha! 478 00:19:16,724 --> 00:19:19,457 Prank Sinatra, baby! 479 00:19:19,526 --> 00:19:20,458 What? 480 00:19:21,996 --> 00:19:23,261 I don't get it. 481 00:19:23,330 --> 00:19:24,730 The truck is the prank? 482 00:19:24,799 --> 00:19:26,198 What, did you pay the rental fee? 483 00:19:26,266 --> 00:19:28,033 Winston, that's just nice. 484 00:19:28,102 --> 00:19:30,335 You didn't have to move. 485 00:19:30,404 --> 00:19:32,182 Yes, we did have to move, you idiot. 486 00:19:32,237 --> 00:19:33,938 - We got evicted. - What is he talking about? 487 00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:35,207 I have no idea. 488 00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:37,209 Engram Pattersky. 489 00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:39,043 If you rearrange those letters, 490 00:19:39,112 --> 00:19:41,213 what does it spell? 491 00:19:41,281 --> 00:19:43,047 "My greatest prank." 492 00:19:43,116 --> 00:19:44,416 My greatest prank! 493 00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:46,017 - No. - Are you kidding me? 494 00:19:46,086 --> 00:19:49,787 Wait, are you Engram Pattersky? 495 00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:51,527 Winston, you were in the loft 496 00:19:51,597 --> 00:19:54,542 when all of the notices slid under the door. 497 00:19:54,603 --> 00:19:56,169 I had some help. 498 00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:59,197 Thanks for the wedding invite. 499 00:19:59,265 --> 00:20:01,898 I work at that hospital. 500 00:20:01,967 --> 00:20:04,635 One, two, three, 501 00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:05,603 slide. 502 00:20:06,772 --> 00:20:08,205 Winston was right. 503 00:20:08,274 --> 00:20:10,274 This was a two-man job. 504 00:20:10,343 --> 00:20:11,808 Hell yeah. 505 00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:13,844 But I checked. Everyone's getting evicted. 506 00:20:13,912 --> 00:20:16,113 They're turning it into a non-residential space. 507 00:20:16,181 --> 00:20:17,648 Oh, who did you check with? 508 00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:20,375 I hope it was someone important. 509 00:20:21,727 --> 00:20:23,620 Sorry, Jess. Nothing I can do 510 00:20:23,688 --> 00:20:25,856 about zoning laws. My hands are tied. 511 00:20:25,924 --> 00:20:26,857 Write the check. 512 00:20:26,925 --> 00:20:29,226 Oh. Uh-huh. 513 00:20:29,294 --> 00:20:30,560 Add a zero. 514 00:20:30,629 --> 00:20:31,962 Yeah, okay. 515 00:20:32,030 --> 00:20:33,263 What? 516 00:20:33,331 --> 00:20:35,231 We didn't have to move? 517 00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:36,599 Hell no! 518 00:20:36,668 --> 00:20:38,167 You didn't have to move. 519 00:20:38,236 --> 00:20:39,435 When did you have time 520 00:20:39,504 --> 00:20:41,704 to do all this? You have a baby. 521 00:20:41,773 --> 00:20:43,038 Well, I got two babies: 522 00:20:43,107 --> 00:20:44,774 Dan Bill and this prank. 523 00:20:44,842 --> 00:20:46,809 This is a really stupid thing you did. 524 00:20:46,878 --> 00:20:47,977 You should see your face. 525 00:20:48,045 --> 00:20:49,245 This is what you look like. 526 00:20:51,082 --> 00:20:52,414 "What?" 527 00:20:52,483 --> 00:20:54,583 Y'all look so dumb. 528 00:20:54,652 --> 00:20:56,118 Look at you, Nick. 529 00:20:56,187 --> 00:20:58,465 This is you, Nick. 530 00:21:13,170 --> 00:21:15,403 Okay, it's done. 531 00:21:15,471 --> 00:21:17,037 Everybody in the truck. 532 00:21:17,106 --> 00:21:18,406 Let's go. We're leaving. 533 00:21:18,474 --> 00:21:20,089 I mean, it's happening now anyway. 534 00:21:20,136 --> 00:21:21,269 Impressive, man. 535 00:21:21,332 --> 00:21:22,810 - That was good. - You know, I spent six months 536 00:21:22,878 --> 00:21:24,478 building the Engram Pattersky website. 537 00:21:24,547 --> 00:21:26,480 And you guys didn't even visit the office. 538 00:21:26,549 --> 00:21:27,981 - What's happening, y'all? - What's up? 539 00:21:29,852 --> 00:21:31,318 So, was the prank too small? 540 00:21:31,386 --> 00:21:32,920 You know, I've been guilty of that in the past. 541 00:21:32,988 --> 00:21:35,155 Too big, man. Way too big. 542 00:21:35,224 --> 00:21:36,790 I don't know. 543 00:21:36,874 --> 00:21:39,536 - I think it was just right. - Too big. 544 00:21:39,599 --> 00:21:41,328 - Definitely too big. - Way too big. 545 00:21:41,396 --> 00:21:43,505 Ridiculous. 546 00:21:52,052 --> 00:21:55,874 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com