This way please.
That's it, and watching me for the cues.
Please thank the Tony Bartuccio Dancers!
- You ready? - Okay.
Just remember that he's not going to stick to the script
and he kinda likes it if you tease him a little bit.
What?
Are we lucky? Yes!
Well done.
Now, three more sleeps till election day.
Are we all exhausted yet?
I certainly am.
Hawke and Howard, Keating and Peacock,
well it's all just a blurry sea
of very bushy eyebrows at this point isn't it?
Now, my next guests have been there for every twist,
every turn, every insult of the campaign,
and they are of course,
News at Six's very own "Golden Couple of News."
Please welcome the magnificent
Ms. Helen Norville and Mr. Dale Jennings!
Wow! Wow! What can I say.
- You're beautiful. - Thank you.
Gerry.
Now, tell me.
Is there still anything left to discuss about this election?
Well, I think this election
might be a lot closer than people think, Gerry.
Really, Dale?
Yes well, people are tipping for a Hawke re-election,
but I'm not so sure, and like any election night,
there might be some turns, some twists, some surprises,
some bad losers, possibly even some tears.
Hmm. But all of that will be coming from me.
Now, now. The pair of you.
Two newsreaders in a relationship. Can we talk about that?
Be careful, Gerry.
Oh I don't think you can lecture me about good behavior Ms. Norville.
Your voices are always so calm and polished.
What I want to know is what happens when you have an argument?
Oh well,
well we don't really have any arguments. Do we?
I actually find it quite useful.
"Crossing now to the kitchen,
where Dale has forgotten to take out the rubbish."
Well you spend your whole working day together,
you read the news together, you go home together.
- That's right. - Yeah.
Well at what point do you run out of things to say?
Well the news never stops, Gerry.
One always has a lot to talk about,
especially in an election year, and this is…
All right, Dale, it's not election night yet. At ease!
Now, in 1986 you delivered us all,
a newsroom romance.
In 1987, can we
expect a newsroom wedding?
"Crossing now to Dale Jennings.
Well, thanks Helen.
Look, we're just focusing on this critical election
that we have ahead of us, this year.
It's also a… It's a jolly fascinating…
Who says "jolly"?
Dale I told you not to watch it.
What am I, Santa Claus? I've never used that adjective in my life.
My favorite was when you referred to yourself as
the royal "one."
I did not do that.
Rewind! It's right there on the tape.
They said specific questions about the election.
Yeah, but I told you, he never sticks to the script.
Hey, there's not a history between you two, is there?
What? A history between… With Gerry?
- Yeah? - No!
You sure? Because he was very flirtatious.
- Oh, you're a bit jealous? - No.
You sure?
Yeah, a little bit, but…
A little bit?
Don't be.
…on this critical election ahead, and
it's not only in Australia that there's an election this year…
Newsreader Dale Jennings there,
avoiding my question.
…the issue overshadowed
Mr. Howard's campaign in marginal Brisbane seats today.
He was quick to respond and issued one of his strongest
campaign attacks yet against the Government.
The creator of the banana republic
is now campaigning like a Treasurer
from a banana republic…
Howard called him an "economic vandal,"
and Keating fired back and said, "if the Liberals win government
you'd need a pair of binoculars to find the Australian dollar."
- Have you seen it? - Seen what?
The promo for election night?
Do we want to?
Promos just delivered it. They're very proud of it.
The new CEO dictated the copy himself.
Showdown '87!
Hawke and Howard,
and News at Six will give you the winner first.
Our state of the art "Datamax" computer system
will deliver the result at 7:45 guaranteed.
- Is, is that confirmed? - Guaranteed?
With comic interludes by Gerry Carroll…
- No. - …and an Australian exclusive with
Federal Treasurer, Paul Keating. The biggest names, the fastest results.
Only on the News at Six.
I mean that can't, that can't go on air.
It's on air. The print version is the double page spread.
Ahh, did you sign off on that promo?
Good morning to you too, Helen.
A 7:45 guaranteed result?
And an Irish comedian? I…
Just so you know, that's come directly from Little Charlie himself.
Well he doesn't know the first thing about news.
He doesn't see the election as a news event, Helen.
He sees it more as being a, um, a "network branding" event.
A what?
And he has decided that our "network brand" is, ah,
"backyard barbecue."
What does that mean?
Dennis!
He reckons that Networks are like different kinds of food.
Yeah, so the ABC is like a plate of vegetables.
But then you have your roast chook, right?
Your Sunday lamb!
"Backyard barbecue."
He just wants the tone to be relaxed and irreverent.
Okay! That's it, so…
Are you even listening to yourself?
Um, I can check with the data analyst,
but it was my understanding that 7:45 is
more of a "likelihood" than a "guarantee."
Yeah, well thanks Noelene, but there's nothing we can do about that.
Also, I don't think Paul Keating's an "exclusive."
I think he's appearing on several networks.
Okay, thanks again Noelene. Nothing we can do about that.
You know, no other News Director would sign off on that.
That is not true, okay, the ABC has comedians,
you know that guy that does the impersonations.
Lindsay, shit, we got to go.
Dale, now that she's had a little showboat,
I don't want any more hissy fits about this because,
Little… Little Charlie has invested a lot of money
in the News at Six and mate, he's not happy.
He always seems upbeat.
Yeah, right to your face.
You know what he called you two the other night?
The "silver couple of news."
Sometimes you're the "bronze couple of news,"
and sometimes you're dangerously close to polished turd territory.
- But our ratings have been consistent. - Jesus, Dale!
The amount of money he has spent,
he doesn't want consistent, especially on election night,
and especially given the competition.
Out of the ten previous elections that you've hosted,
which ones in particular stand out?
Well, it's hard to go past '69, Gorton versus Whitlam.
And you were the first to call that one, correct?
Just after 8pm, over an hour before the competition.
Well, over the years you, ah, you develop an understanding
of the key swing seats.
It paid off in '69 and I'm sure it will tomorrow night.
And what about you, Kay?
Any childhood memories of watching Dad on election night?
Ahh, I remember always loving it.
It's the one night Mum let me eat sausages and chips for dinner.
Ahh.
And will there be sausages this Saturday?
Oh, of course, with Kay back from London,
I'll be doing all the favorites.
Geoff, Saturday's also the first time
that you'll be in direct competition
with your former colleagues at the News at Six.
You've had some strong words to say
about the News at Six in the past.
Well, I've said all I intend to say, Keith.
Well, nothing to add a year down the track?
We'd of course like to thank the viewers for all their cards,
and letters, and to assure them
that Geoff is absolutely thriving.
The new network is wonderful,
and we're just loving living a little closer to the city.
Yes, but can I just ask, have you had any contact with Helen Norville…
Let's move on, Keith.
Yeah, ahh…
Well, ah, thank you very much.
Um, we might just get a family photo if we could.
Okay.
Would you mind just squeezing up a little bit, we can get a family shot.
That'll be great. Thank you.
Big smiles.
Thank you.
We so appreciate it, Cheryl.
Um, are we still on for the fifth?
If that's all right?
I'd hate to get you into trouble with the News at Six.
Oh no, no, I just don't tell them.
Thank you.
- Truly, no-one does it better. - Thank you.
That went well.
I do think it'll be worth doing a little bit of afternoon radio.
- Evvie… - Just a couple of interviews…
Enough!
Oh take the dress. I bought it for you.
I'm okay.
Oh it looked really lovely, Kay. Very feminine. Stylish.
Yes. It's the height of '87 style.
You know what they say about sarcasm, darling.
It's the lowest form of wit.
Why isn't Mum going up?
Well, Canberra's a touch bleak in the winter times.
You want to escape her?
- No, no, no. - I wouldn't blame you.
Shhh.
Wait.
Drive carefully.
You've got a single, Dale and Helen are in a full suite.
Per diems.
Um, sorry, if I order room service do I use the per diems?
Or do I charge the room?
Officially the per diem.
Unofficially, most people charge the room and pocket the cash.
They also tend to save the taxi vouchers for personal use.
I'm sure Rob could tell you all about it.
I don't know what you're talking about there.
Jean!
Ah Noels, just before you take off.
Can I just get you to have a quick squizz at that late update script?
- Yes. Of course. - Yeah?
- Thanks, Jean. - Have a good time.
- Hey. - Hmm.
- How many stars is the hotel? - Four.
Well, should I see if I can get a flight up?
We don't have to tell your family.
Well, it's just that Helen and Dale will be there.
Yeah. I thought you wanted to start telling the office
post-election.
Well, not the very next day.
Oh, okay, hmm…
- But, how about when I get back… - Hm-mm.
I pick you up and we use all my taxi vouchers
and per diems, and I take you to Sizzler.
Oh yes!
Oh, wait thirty seconds,
last time you came out two steps behind me
and it was really obvious.
Yeah, I'm gonna do that.
Rob!
Ahh sorry, you just told me that. Sorry. Sorry. Shhh.
Shush.
Hey Noelene. How are you?
Hi guys. How you doing? Nice to see you all.
The statistician is here. No sign of Gerry yet.
What about Geoff?
His network is here, they're two booths over.
Well, we should go over and say hello.
- Get it over and done with? - No! I'm not talking to him.
This is Trevor. Data analyst.
Hello, Helen. Lovely to meet you. Welcome.
- Nice to meet you, Trevor. - So are we looking good for 7:45?
Well, just between us, I think it will more like 7:15.
7:15! Wow.
I ran the results for '77, '80 and '83 and in each case
the system would have the winner by 7:15.
So it'll be earlier? Great.
Okay, I made the assumption
there'd be edible food here tonight.
I'm guessing that was foolish.
- Hi. - Wow!
You honestly expect the viewers to focus on the politicians.
- Welcome, Gerry. - How are you, Dale?
Ahh, good. Um, I might go to the…
Hey Ray, can I grab a glass of water?
Thank you.
Wow!
Jesus! Rob, you look like a bloody Lowes catalogue.
I got told it was casual.
Yes mate, the rich pricks version of casual.
- Very different. - Well, should I go and get changed?
It'll take me 25 minutes to duck back, grab a jacket.
No, no, no. Not enough time, you gotta go as you are.
I don't wanna blot the copybook. I want an invite on that yacht.
- What yacht? - He's got a three million dollar yacht.
- No? - Yeah, yeah.
- Does he? - He does, yeah.
- Hello. - Hey. How are you?
Follow me.
Yep, thank you.
Wow!
It's bigger than the bar at Young & Jackson's.
Here he is.
Gentlemen, how are we?
Good thanks, Charlie. How are you?
Yeah, good mate. What, you off to the races after this?
- Sorry? - I got one of the old man's bookies if…
Hey, so just saw an ad for the competition.
Their big interview is some senator I've never heard of.
We've got the bloody Treasurer.
Yeah, yeah… That you Dermott?
- Dennis. - Dennis.
It was, ah, Noels.
Do I know Noel?
Yeah, Noelene, she's a producer…
Producer, yes!
She sent about 800 calls to Keating's office.
Wore them down. She's…
Yes, I made a call too, to Paul.
Yeah, people say I'm a bit like Keating, actually, you know.
Not physically of course.
Just a sort of a, certain gravitas, or something.
Their words, not…
I see it.
So, just us tonight boys.
A casual seafood buffet.
Grab yourselves a drink. Make yourselves at home, hey.
- Beautiful. - Yeah.
You, ah, you want to take care of that please love?
Thank you.
Young Dale.
- Geoff! - Good to see you.
Hello.
And congratulations on the new network.
My mother's terribly conflicted on who to watch tonight.
Is Helen with you?
Yep.
I gather you'll be delivering the result
by 7:45, guaranteed.
Well…
I don't fully understand
the computer technology myself but…
Well, careful what you wish for.
Three hours is a very long time to fill.
- Come on, Paul. - Yep.
- I just saw Geoff. - I don't care.
Thirty seconds.
- Noelene, you got those teeth pictures? - Teeth pictures?
Yep. Yep. All four.
Hmm. Yeah I thought I could say,
"What's always stood out to me about Australian elections is the teeth."
Then we'd super up pictures of Howard, Hawke,
Peacock and Keating's teeth,
and I'd do a comedic dental assessment of them.
Positions please.
I'm terrifying you, aren't I?
No.
And here we go.
And in ten, nine, eight, seven, six…
Good evening ladies and gentlemen,
and welcome to the National Tally Room
for election night 1987.
- I'm Helen Norville. - And I'm Dale Jennings.
It's a freezing night
here in our nation's capital, and the Tally Room
is filling up with hundreds of journalists,
party members, even some members of the public.
All of them are looking to the boards behind us,
anxiously waiting for those first crucial results
to start coming through.
Polling booths on the East Coast…
It's a nice set.
Very nice.
- Good design. - Yeah.
…on the News at Six, Datamax computer. Welcome.
Ah, thank you, Helen.
So, what percentage of votes need to be counted
before you can convincingly call for a winner?
Actually, just four or five percent.
Remarkable, isn't it?
And we could reach that point very early, so stay tuned.
No, we reach that point at 7:45,
really got to hammer that, Lindsay. It's 7:45.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got a chyron
that's really gonna punch 7:45. It is coming, it is coming.
Mind if we have a quick flip?
It truly wouldn't be an election night without him.
I'm so thrilled to welcome a television icon,
Mr. Geoff Walters.
Good evening to viewers across this vast, great nation.
…on this most critical of nights.
They're letting him write his own script, mate.
This is going to end in tears.
…I'm happy to confirm
that from August onward,
I'll be on screen five nights a week with a brand-new show,
"The Walters Report."
A half hour of hard-hitting current affairs…
- Awful name. - Terrible.
Are they axing Quizmasters?
People will be very excited
to have you back on their screens.
But right now, the East Coast polls have closed.
So let's cross to Bankstown,
where Federal Treasurer, Paul Keating
is arriving to watch the results in his home seat…
Wait! Bankstown?
Keating's confirmed for our desk, isn't he?
Yes.
Yes, he is.
So?
- Yep. Is this live? - It's live, Lindsay.
Er, look, Dennis, why don't you call Noelene,
just to check on it?
Yep. Great idea.
Marta!
Phone!
Thank you, Marta.
- This guy. - Oh great. Thank you.
You can use it anywhere.
Pick up!
Tally Room. Noelene speaking.
Yes! Hi, it's Dennis. So we just flipped to Geoff's coverage
and there's live footage of Keating from Bankstown!
I don't think so.
Bankstown! Sydney. Five hours from you.
I know where it is. He was always scheduled to spend the day in Bankstown,
then head to Canberra in the afternoon. It can't have been live footage.
It was live footage, Noelene, because it was dark there.
Er, I might call his media advisor.
Give me that thing here!
Listen you, I've got some notes for Helen and Dale.
You get a pen and a shitload of paper.
Mm-hmm.
Sorry, just a couple of notes from Lindsay.
- What? - He doesn't want you to be so vague
about the time of the results. Keep reiterating the 7:45 guarantee.
- Yeah but it could be earlier. - I'm just relaying.
Also the CEO wants a big build up.
"Get your dinners now." "Top up your drinks."
- "The big moment's coming." - And we're back in twenty.
I am not going to be dictated to by Little Charlie,
especially not live on air.
We can definitely weave in a little bit…
No! I'm not going to say, "Come on get your dinners, please."
It's not Romper Room.
We don't have to use those words necessarily.
Wrap it up! Ten seconds.
Charlie's rung my staff with joke suggestions
before three of my shows.
- They were all terrible. - You see, you just ignored them right?
Oh know, I said them, but I've got no integrity.
You stick to your guns.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,
and welcome back to election night '87.
Where the nation decides.
We have 21 percent of the vote counted
in the seat of Forde, and appear to be seeing a swing
to the opposition. Is that right, Geoff?
Just me.
…and Forde, as you know is in Queensland,
and it is, of course, a swing seat.
How's it going?
Ah, it's still early.
- I got the sausages. - I'm all right.
Oh, you sure? It's tradition.
Yeah. I'll just have a drink, thanks.
Is Scott joining us?
What?
It's over with Scott.
- When did that happen? - Last week.
Aw, darling.
Come on, Mum. Don't pretend like you're not happy about it.
Of course I'm not.
No, he was a very…
He was a pleasant man.
- You hated him. - No!
No, I just wondered if he had enough drive for you.
Well, he's pissed off without paying the rent,
so I don't have that 200 dollars.
He's a prick.
Well, do you want your father to call him about that?
No, it's just 200 dollars.
Well, technically your father is Scott's landlord…
Mum, I've just told you I've broken up,
and you're chasing rent.
Sorry.
Sure you don't want the sausages?
Fine.
…and there was an early morning surge to vote.
By lunchtime the crowds had thinned…
Yes, I called his campaign office.
They directed me to his electorate office.
He's the Treasurer of Australia. Someone must know where he is.
Can you at least give me the name of the venue in Bankstown?
Well, we are just a quarter of an hour away
from that crucial moment,
so Australia, clear away the dinner plates
and top up those drinks,
because as per the News at Six 7:45 guarantee
the moment is imminent.
So Trevor, with four percent now counted…
Yeah, it's better.
You wouldn't say he sold it though, would you?
…I can confirm that the vote
is down for Labor, but not necessarily down evenly.
So there is a negative swing against the Government?
In some places, yes.
Definitely New South Wales but not in others.
In fact, their vote is up in some surprising places.
So, yeah, it may or it may not be a swing.
Well, Gerry Carroll thinks he's identified a surprising factor
at play in the 1987 campaign.
Gerry, can you illuminate us?
Why, of course, Dale.
For me this election has all been about the dental work…
Is there a problem?
No, no, no, I'm just, I'm just inputting.
You said 7:15, it's just turned 7:30.
Yeah, yeah, well the program was built
to work off national swings, so…
Is 7:45 a risk, Trevor?
Okay, the way it processes is, is, is, that, that…
Look, I could explain it to you or I could keep inputting data,
and actually get us there, which is what I think you want.
…with what little space that's left
being dedicated to his eyebrows,
um, it leaves you in a position
of not being sure what brush to reach for.
…Paul Keating on the other hand,
rarely, if ever, reveals a tooth for obvious reasoning…
Paul, I'm narrowing my focus
to the eight seats I'm listing here.
Could I ask you to update me as soon as any new figures come in?
- Yeah. - And also,
let me know what happens at 7:45 on News at Six.
Okay.
800 calls you make. For what?
His office said they tried to call. It was a last-minute change just this afternoon.
The results were looking tight
so Keating wanted to stay in Bankstown
instead of coming to Canberra.
Fuck me sideways!
Send a link truck to Bankstown and do it as a live cross.
Well, I have sent a link truck, but there's a technical issue here.
Our OB van isn't getting return audio. They can't work out why.
But right now Keating wouldn't be able to hear us.
We need a studio.
Give me that thing, will you?
Listen Noelene, I want you to tell me this.
I want to hear it from you.
That both our relentlessly advertised features,
the 7:45 verdict, and Paul fucking Keating live,
- has come a gutsa! - Look… Just…
There's a studio in Parliament House,
they use it for live crosses every now and then.
Okay? You're going to have to send Dale or Helen there.
Well, how far away is it?
I don't know, it's Canberra. It's a glorified country town!
Look, I'm just going to make some phone calls, right.
Is that off? Have I turned it off?
I think we'll win, but er, it's just silly
to jump in too quickly.
So I hear you're a bit of a sailing man, Charlie.
Not really.
You've got one minute, Trevor.
Sorry, I presently cannot focus my left eye.
I think, I think that we just have to, we just have to say
that the guarantee's just not going to happen.
We can't do it like that,
we have to say that, "We're in uncharted territory."
- "That we're on a knife's edge." - Twenty seconds.
But it might not actually be a knife's edge.
Okay, we're a ship that's tossed at sea.
It doesn't even make any sense.
Just take the CEO out of your head.
I wasn't thinking of the CEO, okay.
The result has defied the most advanced computer technology,
- and all we can do is sit and wait. - Okay.
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
we have hit that crucial time of 7:45
and we have found ourselves in uncharted territory.
They say that the news never stops.
Dale, I think we can add to that.
The news can never, truly, deliver a guarantee.
What, is that a sledge at the promo?
With 70 percent of the vote now counted,
the results have defied
our state-of-the-art Datamax computer system.
Jesus Christ!
…you're going to have to keep watching,
because it looks like we're in for a rollercoaster of a night.
There are a million people changing the channel right now.
I should, should I go get Lindsay?
Who dropped the ball here, mate?
Was it Noelene?
Ah no, absolutely not.
But should, I'll just see if I can find them.
Do that, get rid of the data bloke,
and tell Lindsay to get Keating on that fucking desk.
All right.
Hey, the News at Six didn't call it.
They're still just reading individual seat results.
I would describe it as "very boring."
I need you to give me one more update on Barton,
and ah, one more on Rankin.
Rankin and Barton, okay.
Paddy, I'd say five minutes.
Five, four…
Well, let's have a look at some of the ALP seats
where the Liberal Party is leading.
First up, Chisholm. Chisholm is in Victoria.
Currently held by Helen Mayer by a margin of 0.2 percent.
The Liberal Party candidate Dr. Aldridge
has run a very high profile campaign.
Dr. Aldridge is sitting on 47.6 percent of the primary vote.
If that trajectory maintains
Dr. Aldridge will probably be…
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Walters has been furiously doing his sums over here,
and it looks as though he has something that he wants to say.
Geoff?
Ooh, Kay?
Well, thus far we've been focused on the…
Darling?
…the percentage of the overall vote…
Kay?
…results like this always going to be dictated by the number…
- Is he calling it? - I think so.
The Labor Government came in tonight
with a 16 seat advantage. Their overall vote is clearly down.
But Paddy, as I see it,
the Labor Government, to lose tonight,
they would need to lose the five following seats,
and they are, Hinkler, Barton, Rankin, Bendigo and…
Hawker.
As it stands, I believe Labor can be very confident
of holding all five.
So on the basis of that, I am prepared to declare,
Labor, The Hawke Government…
…the winner tonight.
…is Peter Paroulakis and the Labor…
Well, Dale, it sounds like some good news
has emerged from down there.
You heard it here first.
Geoff Walters, the veteran of so many Federal elections,
has declared that…
Oh, live telly hey! It's like juggling eggs on a rollercoaster
but mate, Charlie, I think we're definitely well
and truly on track.
Walter's just called it for Hawke.
…there's clearly a lot of budget discontent
out there from both sides, but ultimately it was…
- Lindsay? - Mmm?
Where is Paul Keating?
Do you think this loss will mark the end of John…
Dennis, where is Paul Keating?
We might… We'll go to a break
and we'll be back with so much more, including hopefully
that result, in just a moment.
Geoff just called it for Labor.
What?
I don't know how, I don't know how you can say that
with so little of the West Australian vote counted.
Trevor, I'm going to have to ask you to step off camera
for the rest of the telecast.
Come on mate. 30 seconds.
I'm just, 10, 10 minutes. That's all I…
Dale and Helen will call the result themselves.
Ten?
- Yep, okay. - I'm really sorry.
I also have a Keating update.
I think we still have him but not on our desk.
He didn't come to Canberra this afternoon. I'm so sorry, there's a link truck
already heading out to him in Bankstown.
Okay, so then it's just a cross.
Yes, but unfortunately not with you.
Our OB van is having issues with return audio.
We need a studio and the closest studio is out in Parliament House.
Okay, well that's, that's, that's, that's
that's 10 minutes we can do that.
- I can get us there in 10. - No, hang on.
Including leaving here and setting up
is probably more like 20 and Charlie's demanding
that he be interviewed right now.
You get me Charlie Tate on the phone right now.
Well I don't have his number.
I don't care what he thinks. Just call Parliament and tell them
that we're going to use the studio. We'll be there right now.
In 20 minutes?
If we don't do the Keating interview then all we've got
is like a failed guarantee and some fucking jokes about Hawke's teeth.
As fast as you possibly can!
Welcome back to the National Tally room in Canberra
where a sense of jubilation has taken root
amongst the Labor supporters
with the breaking news that Bob Hawke
will be re-elected Prime Minister of Australia
for a historic third term.
And what are your celebration plans?
Oh, ah, several cups of tea.
This is going to be the highlight of the telecast, trust me.
30 seconds.
Are you just imagining more comedic observations, or?
Just ask me the same questions
you'd ask a political analyst and let me answer it.
- Don't worry about being funny. - Thanks.
And here we go.
- What's this? - It's straight vodka.
- I haven't had a sip of water all night. - Seven, six…
My face goes red with spirits.
You're wearing makeup.
A victorious Bob Hawke there
in Melbourne after a third election victory
and with me now is noted political analyst,
Mr. Gerry Carroll.
So, Gerry…
You told me that Keating was on his way.
Charlie, it'll be on in a second.
It'll be well worth the wait. Keating will put on a good show.
You just sit tight, mate.
Well, Dale, but I think Johnny
will probably move towards his natural calling in life
which has always been suburban solicitor
and I think we should be happy for him.
No, no, no, no, no, no!
Sorry. I meant the next one. The next one! Sorry!
So ultimately this result comes as no surprise to you?
Oh no.
Look, Dale, I have my very own election barometer
and it works every time.
What you do is you look at the number one sports win
in that country and you ask yourself,
who would they vote for?
Here in 1987 it's clearly Wimbledon champ, Pat Cash.
And if you imagine Mr. Cash sitting there
weighing up Hawke versus Howard,
well there's really no question.
I like this. This is a better tone.
Yeah, it's not bad is it?
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely agree.
We've got to match his background.
- Beg your pardon? - Can you help me?
- What? Oh, yes. - From the other side.
Um, Keating's eye line is to the screen, not to the camera so…
- Just match that. - Ah-ha.
Trig, could you get in Keating's position please?
- What time is it now? - 20:13.
- Still good, still good.
Now did you say he lost votes in his own electorate?
Ah, yes. Five percent.
Five percent. Okay, great. Good.
And Gerry, if you had to name one highlight from tonight?
Well, apart from the biscuits, Dale,
I think my highlight was learning a few brand-new words.
My favorite being "scrutineer."
Well, a potential new career for you, Gerry.
Well, look, all I know about it Dale, is that they scrute,
and God knows I've always been partial to a quick scrute.
And famously so.
Right now, ladies and gentlemen,
we have a News at Six exclusive.
We are going to cross to Helen Norville
who will be speaking to our re-elected Treasurer.
- You all right? - Yeah, I'm standing by.
Okay, you're on five, four, three…
He's one of the most bold and influential men in the country.
And at 43, many predict, our next Prime Minister.
Joining me from Bankstown in Sydney.
Please welcome Treasurer Paul Keating.
You beauty.
Now, Bob Hawke thinks that he'll be here
for the next three years at least.
Are you happy to wait?
Oh yes, when Bob is good and ready to go…
All those phone calls, they paid off, mate.
Yeah, yeah.
…get an opportunity to propose ourselves
to the government, to the corpus.
But that's a matter for our party
and it'll all occur in its time.
Opposition leader John Howard had to contend with a lot of disunity.
You enjoyed total party unity
but your personal vote was down five percent.
She is grilling him.
Do you feel that you won tonight by default?
I think there's a lot of rewriting history going on today.
- She looks great. - The Government
won this election. I think Mr. Howard's debased a political currency.
I mean, I think he ran on the most disreputable
and irresponsible financial policy
of any leader in this country in the last 20 years.
And he deserved a loss that he's taken.
And so I guess that you would prefer John Howard
to stay on as opposition leader as opposed
to returning the leadership to Andrew Peacock?
Oh, she's going for it. She's going for it.
Good girl.
But as far as Peacock's concerned, I mean,
let me put the rhetorical question.
Can a souffle rise twice?
That's the quote! That's our quote!
Yeah, I don't know boys.
Is it just me or is she just a hair too…
Aggressive?
Yeah, just a hair. Maybe.
Some substantial good news.
We're going to see inflation continuing to abate.
All right.
Stoic John Howard conceded…
See you soon?
Yes. Drive safely.
Yep. Always do.
- Bye. - Bye.
…and the differences
that divide us politically
and they are important differences.
And they will remain important differences.
- Can I let you in on something? - Yeah.
I'm not registered to vote in this country.
Really?
No, no, no. Seriously.
I've just hosted your national election
and I can't even vote.
I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud of that.
You did, obviously.
- Yeah. - Hmm?
Yeah.
- You and Helen living together? - Yeah.
Yeah, living in sin as my mother likes to point out.
You thinking of changing that?
Um.
We haven't really discussed it yet.
You've been together a while.
A year.
Maybe you're not the marrying type.
Well, wait, what does that mean?
I dunno. You strike me as a bit, open to possibilities.
It's a compliment.
Best people are.
I am.
Sorry. Maybe I've…
No, I'm a pretty boring person.
I don't think so.
Hi.
- Ah, here she is. - Oh, hello.
- God, I'm glad that's over. - You were brilliant.
- Thank you. - Brilliant.
He talked so much so I only got through
about a third of the questions.
- Was it okay, really? - You were great. Yeah.
- Drink? - You must be tired.
- Oh no, I'll take a double. - Yeah?
Yeah, vodka soda please.
- Sure. - Oh!
Oh my God. What time is checkout?
Ah, ten, I think.
Hey, I think Gerry just tried to proposition me.
- What? - Well, I could be wrong,
but it definitely seemed like it.
What, what, what happened?
Nothing.
Were you interested?
No.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Because he would make sense.
I mean, he's due to be, um…
He'd be discreet and,
and private,
and his wife's a very powerful woman, so…
he would be,
a logical option.
I don't want that option.
Do you?
No.
No, I, I don't.
I want… I want just us.
I want just, just you and me.
So do I.
But I want you to keep talking to me about it.
I don't need to.
- But if anything changes. - It's not going to change.
But if it does.
It won't.
I'm expecting the call in the next couple of minutes.
Do not touch the phones.
We got numbers?
- Not yet. - Should be any minute.
- Are the numbers in? - They haven't called.
We don't have to sit around just waiting for them.
Yep?
- Shh, he's on the phone. - Yep. Yep.
Yep, good. Right.
Yep. Thank you.
Lindsay?
No! It was bloody wardrobe going on
about those bloody sports jackets.
What's wrong with them? They're great.
Geoff Walters speaking.
Yes. Yes.
Right.
Of course. Yes.
Yes.
Right.
Yep. Goodo.
Yep.
Yeah, thank you.
Aye…
Well, it ah…
Ahh…
1.9 million. We won.
We fucking won!
Jean, you crack open an extra-special something.
Come on! Get at it!
Well done, well done. Huzzah!
Hey Noels.
Hey, can I ask you to help me with the…
Yeah, of course.
They said we collapsed at 7:45. Never recovered.
That stupid bloody News at Six guarantee.
A cheap trick.
Maybe that's what people want these days.
Cheap tricks, clowns.
And that network has spent an absolute fortune
on utterly false advertising.
Helen's been promoted as this woman of gravitas.
She's far from that.
Think what we know about her.
And from what I hear, that's the tip of the iceberg.
You've maintained a dignified silence.
It's time the truth about her emerged.
You know you know,
you know, Charlie, Charlie, Charlie.
What it was, it was the guarantee.
We didn't even have to deliver.
It was just the promise of it.
It was a stroke of genius, mate. Well done, you.
Yeah, I actually think Gerry was the main drawcard.
He was good. He was good, wasn't he?
Surprisingly, to some people.
But you know, I like to think the whole team.
You're right about Dale. He's getting there.
It's just, er, Helen.
Yes?
Mate. She was great under Geoff.
It's just as a headliner, I dunno what it is,
I think she's just sort of too dominant
over Dale and she's shrill and aggressive.
I reckon we give her a couple of months to pull it in.
If she can't, we talk replacements.
Sure, sure.
No complaints this end on that.
But you know, it could be a little bit tricky. They, er,
they are a couple.
Yeah, it's not my problem.
No, of course it's not. It's theirs.
Good plan. Very good plan.
Well, happy days and well, well done.
Well done again…
I mean, did he show any humility at all or?
Well, you know, he was, he was Charlie.
But he did say congratulations, so…
That's nice of him.
I think a toast is called for, to the person who
will appreciate our victory the most.
Here's to Geoff Walters.
He can blow it out his ass!