1
00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:11,834
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

2
00:00:32,295 --> 00:00:35,958
All right, Jim.
Your quarterlies look very good.

3
00:00:35,999 --> 00:00:40,459
- How are things at the library?
- I told you. I couldn't close it.

4
00:00:40,503 --> 00:00:44,530
So you've come to the master
for guidance?

5
00:00:44,574 --> 00:00:46,633
Is this what you're saying, grasshopper?

6
00:00:46,676 --> 00:00:49,509
Actually, you called me in here, but, yeah.

7
00:00:49,546 --> 00:00:51,776
All right. Well, let me show you
how it's done.

8
00:00:51,815 --> 00:00:54,443
I'd like to speak
to your office manager, please.

9
00:00:54,484 --> 00:00:56,611
Yes, hello. This is Michael Scott.

10
00:00:56,653 --> 00:01:00,419
I am the Regional Manager
of Dunder Mifflin Paper Products.

11
00:01:00,457 --> 00:01:03,392
Just wanted to talk to you
manager-à-manager.

12
00:01:06,362 --> 00:01:09,229
All right. Done deal.
Thank you very much, sir.

13
00:01:09,265 --> 00:01:11,529
You're a gentleman and a scholar.

14
00:01:12,836 --> 00:01:16,135
Oh, I'm sorry. OK. I'm sorry.

15
00:01:16,172 --> 00:01:18,106
My mistake.

16
00:01:19,108 --> 00:01:22,669
That was a woman I was talking to, so...

17
00:01:22,712 --> 00:01:24,475
She had a very low voice.

18
00:01:24,514 --> 00:01:27,142
Probably a smoker, so...

19
00:01:30,119 --> 00:01:31,245
So that's the way it's done.

20
00:01:31,287 --> 00:01:34,484
I've, er, I've been at Dunder Mifflin
for 12 years,

21
00:01:34,524 --> 00:01:37,891
the last four as Regional Manager.

22
00:01:37,927 --> 00:01:41,021
If you want to come through here...

23
00:01:41,064 --> 00:01:42,998
We have the entire floor.

24
00:01:43,032 --> 00:01:46,365
So this is my kingdom,
as far as the eye can see.

25
00:01:46,402 --> 00:01:48,393
This is our receptionist, Pam.

26
00:01:48,438 --> 00:01:50,030
Pam! Pam-Pam!

27
00:01:50,073 --> 00:01:55,568
Pam Beasley. Pam has been with us for...
forever. Right, Pam?

28
00:01:55,612 --> 00:01:57,045
Well, I don't know.

29
00:01:57,080 --> 00:02:00,914
If you think she's cute now,
you should have seen her a few years ago.

30
00:02:00,950 --> 00:02:03,214
- What?
- Any messages?

31
00:02:03,253 --> 00:02:06,484
Er, yeah. Just a fax.

32
00:02:06,523 --> 00:02:08,354
Oh!

33
00:02:08,391 --> 00:02:10,120
Pam, this is from Corporate.

34
00:02:10,159 --> 00:02:13,720
How many times have I told you?
There's a special filing cabinet.

35
00:02:13,763 --> 00:02:17,563
- You haven't told me.
- It's called the wastepaper basket!

36
00:02:19,168 --> 00:02:22,569
Look at that. Look at that face.

37
00:02:22,605 --> 00:02:25,438
People say I am the best boss.

38
00:02:25,475 --> 00:02:29,844
They go, "We've never worked in a place
like this. You're hilarious.

39
00:02:29,879 --> 00:02:31,938
"And you get the best out of us."

40
00:02:35,218 --> 00:02:37,379
I think that pretty much sums it up.

41
00:02:38,888 --> 00:02:40,913
I found it at Spencer Gifts.

42
00:02:44,427 --> 00:02:47,396
- Shall I play for you?

43
00:02:47,430 --> 00:02:49,489
- Pa rum pum pum pum -

44
00:02:53,036 --> 00:02:56,301
- I have no gifts for you

45
00:02:56,339 --> 00:02:58,204
- Pa rum pum pum pum -

46
00:03:00,143 --> 00:03:03,772
My job is to speak to clients
on the phone

47
00:03:03,813 --> 00:03:07,374
about... er, quantities

48
00:03:07,417 --> 00:03:12,719
and type of copier paper.

49
00:03:12,755 --> 00:03:15,656
You know,
whether we can supply it to them.

50
00:03:15,692 --> 00:03:21,062
Whether they can pay for it. And...

51
00:03:25,201 --> 00:03:28,261
I'm boring myself just talking about this.

52
00:03:32,609 --> 00:03:36,045
- Whassup!
- Whassup!

53
00:03:36,079 --> 00:03:38,240
I still love that after seven years.

54
00:03:38,281 --> 00:03:41,045
- Whassup!
- Whassup!

55
00:03:41,084 --> 00:03:43,985
Whass... up!

56
00:03:45,855 --> 00:03:47,015
Whassup.

57
00:03:59,369 --> 00:04:01,064
What?

58
00:04:01,104 --> 00:04:04,232
- Nothing.
- OK. All right.

59
00:04:04,273 --> 00:04:06,298
- See you later.
- All right.

60
00:04:07,343 --> 00:04:09,971
- Take care.
- Back to work.

61
00:04:17,854 --> 00:04:19,981
Just before lunch. That would be great.

62
00:04:20,023 --> 00:04:23,481
Corporate doesn't interfere with me.
Jan Levitson Gould.

63
00:04:23,526 --> 00:04:24,925
Jan, hello.

64
00:04:24,961 --> 00:04:27,930
I call her Hillary Rodham Clinton.

65
00:04:27,964 --> 00:04:30,023
Right? Not to her face, because...

66
00:04:30,066 --> 00:04:32,728
Well, not because I'm scared of her.

67
00:04:32,769 --> 00:04:35,738
Cos I'm not. But, um...

68
00:04:35,772 --> 00:04:37,171
Yeah.

69
00:04:37,206 --> 00:04:40,232
Was there anything you wanted
to add to the agenda?

70
00:04:40,276 --> 00:04:43,803
Umm...
Me no get an agenda.

71
00:04:43,846 --> 00:04:46,713
- What? I'm sorry?
- I didn't get any agenda.

72
00:04:46,749 --> 00:04:48,808
I faxed one to you this morning.

73
00:04:48,851 --> 00:04:52,651
Really? I didn't...
Did we get a fax this morning?

74
00:04:52,689 --> 00:04:54,623
Uh, yeah, the one...

75
00:04:54,657 --> 00:04:58,787
Why isn't it in my hand?

76
00:04:58,828 --> 00:05:02,161
A company runs on efficiency
of communication, right?

77
00:05:03,199 --> 00:05:07,158
So what's the problem, Pam?
Why didn't I get it?

78
00:05:07,203 --> 00:05:11,606
You put it in the garbage can
that was the special filing cabinet.

79
00:05:14,977 --> 00:05:21,143
Yeah, that was a joke. That was a joke
that was actually my brother's, and...

80
00:05:21,184 --> 00:05:23,414
It was for bills. It doesn't work with faxes.

81
00:05:23,453 --> 00:05:26,320
- Do you want to look at mine?
- Lovely. Thank you.

82
00:05:26,355 --> 00:05:28,789
OK. Since the last meeting,

83
00:05:28,825 --> 00:05:33,353
Ellen and the board decided we can't justify
a Scranton branch and a Stamford branch.

84
00:05:33,396 --> 00:05:35,489
- OK.
- Don't panic.

85
00:05:35,531 --> 00:05:39,433
- No, this is good. This is fine.
- Listen. Don't panic.

86
00:05:39,469 --> 00:05:42,597
- Alarm bells are... ring-ding-ding!
- We haven't decided.

87
00:05:42,638 --> 00:05:45,664
I've spoken to Josh in Stamford
and told him the same.

88
00:05:45,708 --> 00:05:49,166
It's up to you to convince me your branch can
incorporate the other.

89
00:05:49,212 --> 00:05:51,612
But it does mean there'll be downsizing.

90
00:05:51,647 --> 00:05:54,047
Me no wanna hear that, Jan.

91
00:05:54,083 --> 00:05:58,816
Because downsizing is a bitch.
It is a real bitch.

92
00:05:58,855 --> 00:06:01,415
And I wouldn't wish that on Josh's men.

93
00:06:01,457 --> 00:06:03,721
I certainly wouldn't wish it on my men.

94
00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:06,558
Or women,
present company excluded. Sorry.

95
00:06:06,596 --> 00:06:11,090
Er, is Josh concerned
about downsizing himself?

96
00:06:11,134 --> 00:06:13,534
Not downsizing himself but downsizing?

97
00:06:18,975 --> 00:06:23,036
- Question. How long do we have to...

98
00:06:23,079 --> 00:06:26,207
Todd Packer, terrific rep.
Do you mind if I take it?

99
00:06:26,249 --> 00:06:27,841
Go ahead.

100
00:06:27,884 --> 00:06:30,478
- Packman.
- Hey, you big queen.

101
00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:34,547
- That's not appropriate.
- Is old Godzillary coming in today?

102
00:06:34,590 --> 00:06:38,993
- I don't know what you mean.
- I've been meaning to ask her.

103
00:06:39,028 --> 00:06:42,555
- Does the carpet match the drapes?
- Oh, my God!

104
00:06:42,598 --> 00:06:44,293
Oh!

105
00:06:44,333 --> 00:06:46,733
That's... horrifying.

106
00:06:48,037 --> 00:06:51,336
Horrible. Horrible person.

107
00:06:52,842 --> 00:06:55,777
So do you think we could
keep a lid on this for now?

108
00:06:55,812 --> 00:06:59,009
- I don't want to worry people.
- Absolutely.

109
00:06:59,048 --> 00:07:03,348
Under this regime,
it will not leave this office. Like that.

110
00:07:03,386 --> 00:07:06,981
- So what does downsizing actually mean?
- Well...

111
00:07:07,023 --> 00:07:09,856
you guys better update your résumés
like I'm doing.

112
00:07:09,892 --> 00:07:13,623
I bet it's gonna be me.
Probably gonna be me.

113
00:07:13,663 --> 00:07:15,187
Yeah, it'll be you.

114
00:07:15,231 --> 00:07:17,529
I have an important question for you.

115
00:07:17,567 --> 00:07:20,559
Are you going to Angela's cat party
on Sunday?

116
00:07:20,603 --> 00:07:23,470
Stop. That is ridiculous.

117
00:07:23,506 --> 00:07:26,498
Am I going to tell them?
No. I don't see the point.

118
00:07:26,542 --> 00:07:30,376
As a doctor, you would not
tell a patient if they had cancer.

119
00:07:30,413 --> 00:07:32,244
- Hey.
- Hey.

120
00:07:32,281 --> 00:07:35,546
- (Pam) This is Mr. Scott.
- Guilty as charged!

121
00:07:35,585 --> 00:07:39,112
Ryan Howard from the temp agency.
Daniqua sent me to start today.

122
00:07:39,155 --> 00:07:41,953
Howard, like Moe Howard. Three Stooges.

123
00:07:41,991 --> 00:07:43,618
Watch this. This is Moe.

124
00:07:43,659 --> 00:07:46,025
Nyuck-nyuck-nyuck-nyuck-nyuck. Mee!

125
00:07:48,364 --> 00:07:52,664
Right here. Three Stooges. High five.
Oh, Pam. It's a guy thing, Pam.

126
00:07:52,702 --> 00:07:55,569
I'm sort of a student of comedy.

127
00:07:55,605 --> 00:07:57,596
Watch this. Here we go.

128
00:08:05,014 --> 00:08:09,383
I'm Hitler. Adolf Hitler.

129
00:08:09,418 --> 00:08:13,047
I don't think it would be
the worst thing if they let me go

130
00:08:13,089 --> 00:08:15,557
because then I might...

131
00:08:15,591 --> 00:08:19,891
I don't think it's many little girls' dream
to be a receptionist.

132
00:08:19,929 --> 00:08:21,920
I like to do illustrations.

133
00:08:21,964 --> 00:08:26,594
Erm... Mostly watercolor. A few oil pencil.

134
00:08:27,503 --> 00:08:30,233
Erm, Jim thinks they're good.

135
00:08:30,273 --> 00:08:31,934
Dunder Mifflin. This is Pam.

136
00:08:31,974 --> 00:08:34,943
Sure. Mr. Davis,
let me call you right back.

137
00:08:34,977 --> 00:08:38,845
Something just came up.
Two minutes. Thank you.

138
00:08:38,881 --> 00:08:41,645
- Dwight, what are you doing?
- What?

139
00:08:41,684 --> 00:08:44,619
- Clearing my desk.
- It's not on your desk.

140
00:08:44,654 --> 00:08:47,555
It's overlapping.
It's spilling over the edge.

141
00:08:47,590 --> 00:08:50,855
One word, two syllables. Demarcation.

142
00:08:58,768 --> 00:09:00,793
- You can't do that.
- Why not?

143
00:09:02,004 --> 00:09:06,202
Safety violation.
I could fall and pierce an organ.

144
00:09:07,310 --> 00:09:09,437
We'll see.

145
00:09:12,448 --> 00:09:16,077
This is why the whole downsizing thing
doesn't bother me.

146
00:09:16,118 --> 00:09:19,110
Downsizing?
I have no problem with that.

147
00:09:19,155 --> 00:09:23,057
I have been recommending downsizing
since I first got here.

148
00:09:23,092 --> 00:09:25,219
I even brought it up in my interview.

149
00:09:25,261 --> 00:09:28,128
I say, bring it on.

150
00:09:29,165 --> 00:09:31,292
(Pam) You have messages from yesterday.

151
00:09:31,334 --> 00:09:33,598
Relax. Everything's under control.

152
00:09:33,636 --> 00:09:37,265
Er, Yeah. Yeah. That's important. Right.

153
00:09:37,306 --> 00:09:40,867
This is so important,
I should run to answer it.

154
00:10:00,663 --> 00:10:03,325
- What?
- Come on.

155
00:10:03,366 --> 00:10:06,062
Six Million Dollar Man. Steve Austin.

156
00:10:06,102 --> 00:10:09,538
Actually, that would be a good salary for me,
don't you think?

157
00:10:09,572 --> 00:10:13,338
Six million dollars?
Memo to Jan. I deserve a raise.

158
00:10:13,876 --> 00:10:16,344
- Don't we all?
- I'm sorry?

159
00:10:17,213 --> 00:10:18,840
Nothing.

160
00:10:19,548 --> 00:10:23,644
If you're unhappy with your compensation,
take it up with HR.

161
00:10:25,254 --> 00:10:29,190
Not today, OK? Pam, just be professional.

162
00:10:34,630 --> 00:10:37,793
I think I'm a role model.
I think I garner people's respect.

163
00:10:37,833 --> 00:10:40,529
Attention all employees.

164
00:10:40,569 --> 00:10:43,538
We have a meeting
in the conference room, ASAP:

165
00:10:43,572 --> 00:10:45,563
The people I respect, heroes of mine,

166
00:10:45,608 --> 00:10:48,236
would be Bob Hope...

167
00:10:51,213 --> 00:10:54,671
Abraham Lincoln, definitely.

168
00:10:55,951 --> 00:10:57,543
Bono.

169
00:11:00,056 --> 00:11:04,254
And probably God would be the fourth one.

170
00:11:05,928 --> 00:11:11,298
And I just think all those people
really helped the world

171
00:11:11,333 --> 00:11:14,097
in so many ways

172
00:11:14,136 --> 00:11:18,368
that it's really beyond words.

173
00:11:21,444 --> 00:11:23,912
It's really incalculable.

174
00:11:23,946 --> 00:11:26,073
I want to set the record straight.

175
00:11:26,115 --> 00:11:29,209
I'm Assistant Regional Manager.
I should know first.

176
00:11:29,251 --> 00:11:32,448
- Assistant to the Regional Manager.
- Can you tell me?

177
00:11:32,488 --> 00:11:34,285
Tell me quietly. Whisper in my ear.

178
00:11:34,323 --> 00:11:36,757
- I'm about to.
- (Man) Can you tell us?

179
00:11:36,792 --> 00:11:41,229
- Please, OK? Do you want me to tell 'em?
- You don't know what it is.

180
00:11:41,263 --> 00:11:44,323
You tell 'em. With my permission. Go ahead.

181
00:11:44,366 --> 00:11:50,771
Corporate has deemed it appropriate
to enforce an ultimatum upon me.

182
00:11:50,806 --> 00:11:56,210
And Jan is thinking about downsizing
either the Stamford branch or this branch.

183
00:11:56,245 --> 00:11:58,679
I heard they might be
closing this branch down.

184
00:11:58,714 --> 00:12:03,742
That's just the rumor going around.
This is my first day. I don't really know.

185
00:12:03,786 --> 00:12:07,119
- What if they downsize here?
- Not gonna happen.

186
00:12:07,156 --> 00:12:12,423
- It'll be out of your hands.
- It won't be, Stanley. I promise you that.

187
00:12:12,461 --> 00:12:15,589
- Can you promise that?
- On his mother's grave.

188
00:12:15,631 --> 00:12:19,590
- What?
- Well, yes, it is a promise.

189
00:12:19,635 --> 00:12:23,571
Frankly, I'm a little insulted
that you have to keep asking about it.

190
00:12:23,606 --> 00:12:25,631
We need to know.

191
00:12:25,674 --> 00:12:28,973
I know. Hold on.
I think Pam wanted to say something.

192
00:12:29,011 --> 00:12:35,041
Pam, you had a look that you wanted
to ask a question just then.

193
00:12:37,219 --> 00:12:42,247
I was in the meeting with Jan.
She did say this branch could get the axe.

194
00:12:42,291 --> 00:12:44,782
Are you sure about that?

195
00:12:44,827 --> 00:12:50,663
Well, maybe you should stick to the ongoing
confidentiality agreement of meetings.

196
00:12:50,699 --> 00:12:53,259
Pam, information is power.

197
00:12:53,302 --> 00:12:56,396
You can't say for sure whether
it'll be us or them, can you?

198
00:12:56,438 --> 00:13:00,932
No, Stanley. You did not see me
in there with her.

199
00:13:00,976 --> 00:13:05,538
I said if Corporate wants
to come in here and interfere,

200
00:13:05,581 --> 00:13:07,879
they're gonna have to go through me.

201
00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:12,616
You can mess with Josh's people,
but I'm the head of this family

202
00:13:12,655 --> 00:13:16,022
and you ain't gonna be messing
with my chillun.

203
00:13:22,898 --> 00:13:28,837
If I left, what would I do with
all this useless information in my head?

204
00:13:28,871 --> 00:13:32,568
You know? Tonnage price of manila folders?

205
00:13:33,409 --> 00:13:36,970
Er, Pam's favorite flavor of yogurt,
which is mixed berry.

206
00:13:41,650 --> 00:13:43,777
Jim said mixed berries?

207
00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:47,953
Well, yeah, he's on to me.

208
00:13:51,093 --> 00:13:53,857
Watch out for this guy.
Dwight Shrute in the building.

209
00:13:53,896 --> 00:13:57,593
- This is Ryan, the new temp.
- Introduce yourself. Be polite.

210
00:13:57,633 --> 00:14:00,033
Dwight Shrute, Assistant Regional Manager.

211
00:14:00,069 --> 00:14:02,469
Assistant to the Regional Manager.

212
00:14:02,504 --> 00:14:06,338
So, tell him about the kung fu
and the car and everything.

213
00:14:06,375 --> 00:14:11,779
Er... I've got a '78280Z. Bought it for 1,200.
Fixed it up. Now worth three grand.

214
00:14:11,814 --> 00:14:14,977
- His profit.
- New engine, suspension, respray.

215
00:14:15,017 --> 00:14:16,541
I've got some photos.

216
00:14:18,087 --> 00:14:19,918
Damn it! Jim!

217
00:14:19,955 --> 00:14:24,085
OK. Hold on. The judge is in session.
What is the problem?

218
00:14:24,126 --> 00:14:26,321
He put my stuff in Jell-O again.

219
00:14:28,831 --> 00:14:32,892
Real professional. The third time.
It wasn't funny the first two.

220
00:14:32,935 --> 00:14:36,564
It's OK here,
but people sometimes take advantage

221
00:14:36,605 --> 00:14:38,129
because it's so relaxed.

222
00:14:38,173 --> 00:14:42,439
I'm a volunteer Sheriff's Deputy
on the weekends.

223
00:14:42,478 --> 00:14:44,946
And you cannot screw around there.

224
00:14:44,980 --> 00:14:46,777
That's sort of one of the rules.

225
00:14:46,815 --> 00:14:48,407
- What is that?
- That is my stapler.

226
00:14:48,450 --> 00:14:50,816
No. Do not take it out.

227
00:14:50,853 --> 00:14:54,289
Eat it out, because there are starving people
in the world

228
00:14:54,323 --> 00:14:57,121
which I hate, and it is a waste
of that kind of food.

229
00:14:57,159 --> 00:14:59,889
You can be a witness.
Can you reprimand him?

230
00:15:01,864 --> 00:15:04,128
- How do you know it was me?
- It's always you.

231
00:15:04,166 --> 00:15:08,296
- Are you going to discipline him?
- Discipline. Kinky!

232
00:15:08,337 --> 00:15:10,430
Here's the deal, you guys.

233
00:15:10,472 --> 00:15:13,600
The thing about a practical joke
is you have to know when to start

234
00:15:13,642 --> 00:15:15,109
as well as when to stop.

235
00:15:15,144 --> 00:15:22,277
And, yeah, Jim. Now is the time to stop putting
Dwight's personal effects into Jell-O.

236
00:15:24,486 --> 00:15:29,719
OK. Dwight, I'm sorry, because I have
always been your biggest flan.

237
00:15:32,127 --> 00:15:35,392
Nice. That's the way it is around here.

238
00:15:35,431 --> 00:15:39,094
- It goes round and round.
- You should put him in custardy.

239
00:15:39,134 --> 00:15:41,728
Hey! Yes! New guy!

240
00:15:41,770 --> 00:15:43,635
He scores.

241
00:15:43,672 --> 00:15:46,766
That's great.
I guess what I'm most concerned with

242
00:15:46,809 --> 00:15:49,369
is damage to company property.

243
00:15:49,411 --> 00:15:51,345
That's all.

244
00:15:54,850 --> 00:15:57,114
Pudding. Pudding...

245
00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:01,287
I'm trying to think of another dessert to do.

246
00:16:02,758 --> 00:16:06,159
Do you like going out at the end
of the week for a drink?

247
00:16:06,195 --> 00:16:08,959
- Yeah.
- That's why we're all going out.

248
00:16:08,997 --> 00:16:10,658
For an end-of-the-week drink.

249
00:16:10,699 --> 00:16:14,157
- When are we going out?
- Tonight, hopefully.

250
00:16:17,306 --> 00:16:19,433
- Hey, man.
- What's going on?

251
00:16:19,475 --> 00:16:20,703
Hi, baby.

252
00:16:20,743 --> 00:16:26,648
Roy's my fiancé.
We've been engaged about three years.

253
00:16:26,682 --> 00:16:29,378
We were supposed
to get married in September

254
00:16:29,418 --> 00:16:32,251
but I think we're gonna
get married in the spring.

255
00:16:33,522 --> 00:16:36,719
Do you mind if I go out
for a drink with these guys?

256
00:16:37,426 --> 00:16:40,827
No. Come on.
Let's get out of here and go home.

257
00:16:40,863 --> 00:16:43,093
OK. I'm gonna be a few minutes.

258
00:16:43,132 --> 00:16:47,034
It's only twenty past five.
I still have to do my faxes.

259
00:16:51,407 --> 00:16:54,035
You know what?
You should come with us.

260
00:16:54,076 --> 00:16:59,446
It could be a good chance to see
what people are like outside the office.

261
00:16:59,481 --> 00:17:02,609
- I think it could be fun.
- It sounds good.

262
00:17:02,651 --> 00:17:04,983
Seriously, we gotta get going.

263
00:17:05,020 --> 00:17:06,681
Yeah, yeah.

264
00:17:15,097 --> 00:17:16,564
Um...

265
00:17:16,598 --> 00:17:18,930
What's in the bag?

266
00:17:20,302 --> 00:17:23,601
- Tell her I'll talk to her later.
- Definitely. All right, dude.

267
00:17:23,639 --> 00:17:25,470
Will do.

268
00:17:28,210 --> 00:17:32,112
Do I think I'll be invited to the wedding?

269
00:17:39,588 --> 00:17:42,887
So have you felt the vibe yet?

270
00:17:42,925 --> 00:17:44,654
We work hard, we play hard.

271
00:17:44,693 --> 00:17:47,628
Sometimes we play hard
when we should be working hard.

272
00:17:47,663 --> 00:17:51,394
I guess the atmosphere
that I've created here

273
00:17:51,433 --> 00:17:54,300
is that I'm a friend first,
a boss second...

274
00:17:54,336 --> 00:17:57,772
- and probably an entertainer third.

275
00:17:57,806 --> 00:18:00,707
Just a second. Right?

276
00:18:00,742 --> 00:18:05,441
Oh, do you like
The Jamie Kennedy Experiment?

277
00:18:05,481 --> 00:18:08,314
Punk'd and all that kind of stuff?

278
00:18:08,350 --> 00:18:11,114
You are gonna be my accomplice.
Just go along with it, OK?

279
00:18:11,153 --> 00:18:13,644
Just follow my lead.
Don't pip me, all right?

280
00:18:13,689 --> 00:18:15,714
Come in.

281
00:18:15,757 --> 00:18:17,987
- Corporate just said...
- You got a fax.

282
00:18:18,026 --> 00:18:20,824
Thank you.
Can you come in here for a sec?

283
00:18:21,730 --> 00:18:23,925
I was gonna call you in anyway.

284
00:18:25,133 --> 00:18:30,628
You know Ryan. As you know,
there is going to be downsizing.

285
00:18:30,672 --> 00:18:35,905
And you have made my life
so much easier

286
00:18:35,944 --> 00:18:39,710
in that I am going
to have to let you go first.

287
00:18:40,582 --> 00:18:45,281
- What? Why?
- Why? Well, theft and stealing.

288
00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:50,690
Stealing?
What am I supposed to have stolen?

289
00:18:50,726 --> 00:18:52,353
Post-it Notes.

290
00:18:52,394 --> 00:18:56,353
Post-it Notes?
What are those worth, 50 cents?

291
00:18:56,398 --> 00:18:59,299
If you steal a thousand Post-it Notes
at 50 cents a piece,

292
00:18:59,334 --> 00:19:02,861
you know, you've made a profit... margin.

293
00:19:02,905 --> 00:19:05,738
You're gonna run us
out of business, Pam.

294
00:19:05,774 --> 00:19:07,742
Are you serious?

295
00:19:08,610 --> 00:19:12,706
- Yeah. I am.
- I can't believe this.

296
00:19:12,748 --> 00:19:17,151
I have never even stolen as much
as a paperclip and you're firing me.

297
00:19:18,487 --> 00:19:23,322
The best thing about it is we're not going
to have to give you any severance pay.

298
00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:28,252
Because that is gross misconduct and...

299
00:19:28,297 --> 00:19:31,061
Just clean out your desk. I'm sorry.

300
00:19:48,550 --> 00:19:51,178
You been X'd, punk!

301
00:19:51,219 --> 00:19:54,188
Surprise! It's a joke.
We were joking around.

302
00:19:54,222 --> 00:19:58,386
See? OK. He was in on it.
He was my accomplice.

303
00:19:58,427 --> 00:20:02,124
It was kind of a morale booster thing.

304
00:20:02,164 --> 00:20:06,897
We were showing the new guy around,
giving him the feel of the place.

305
00:20:06,935 --> 00:20:11,463
So you... God, we totally got you.

306
00:20:11,506 --> 00:20:13,667
You're a jerk.

307
00:20:14,610 --> 00:20:16,669
I don't know about that.

308
00:20:32,060 --> 00:20:35,052
What is the most important thing
for a company?

309
00:20:35,097 --> 00:20:39,466
Is it the cash flow? Is it the inventory?

310
00:20:39,501 --> 00:20:43,801
Nuh-uh. It's the people.

311
00:20:43,839 --> 00:20:45,807
The people.

312
00:20:45,841 --> 00:20:50,301
My proudest moment here was not
when I increased profits by 17%

313
00:20:50,345 --> 00:20:54,645
or when I cut expenses
without losing a single employee.

314
00:20:54,683 --> 00:20:56,378
No, no, no, no, no.

315
00:20:56,418 --> 00:20:59,478
It was a young Guatemalan guy.

316
00:20:59,521 --> 00:21:02,354
First job in the country, barely spoke English.

317
00:21:02,391 --> 00:21:04,552
He came to me, and said,

318
00:21:04,593 --> 00:21:10,896
"Mr. Scott, would you be
the godfather of my child?"

319
00:21:13,168 --> 00:21:15,033
Wow. Wow.

320
00:21:21,343 --> 00:21:24,141
Didn't work out.
We had to let him go. He sucked.

321
00:21:30,285 --> 00:21:32,480
- Hey.
- Hey.

322
00:21:32,521 --> 00:21:34,113
How are you?

323
00:21:34,156 --> 00:21:36,681
I thought you were going for a drink with...

324
00:21:36,725 --> 00:21:39,717
No. I just decided not to.

325
00:21:40,662 --> 00:21:43,358
- How's your headache?
- It's better, thanks.

326
00:21:43,398 --> 00:21:45,866
- Good. That's great.
- Is?

327
00:21:45,901 --> 00:21:49,496
- Yeah?
- Um... Are you...

328
00:21:49,538 --> 00:21:52,166
- Am I walking out?
- Yes.

329
00:21:52,207 --> 00:21:54,437
- Yes, I... Do you want to...
- Yeah.

330
00:21:54,476 --> 00:21:57,240
- Great. Let me just...

331
00:21:57,279 --> 00:21:59,144
Oh, boy.

332
00:21:59,181 --> 00:22:02,617
- Listen, have a nice weekend.
- Definitely. You too.

333
00:22:02,651 --> 00:22:04,346
Enjoy it.

334
00:22:17,232 --> 00:22:18,961
You know what, just come here.

335
00:22:20,065 --> 00:22:30,065
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