1 00:00:31,974 --> 00:00:33,776 What's that about? Tell me. 2 00:00:33,894 --> 00:00:37,848 Because, at the end of the day, you can say something 3 00:00:37,965 --> 00:00:41,493 and then it doesn't mean that you can't ever change your mind. 4 00:00:41,613 --> 00:00:43,829 It's you that's changing your mind. 5 00:00:43,955 --> 00:00:45,757 Fine! But what's wrong with that? 6 00:00:45,875 --> 00:00:48,169 Yeah, I feel sorry for Dawn and Lee, 7 00:00:49,254 --> 00:00:51,591 If they have to call off the wedding... 8 00:00:51,789 --> 00:00:54,934 then I'm sure it'll be upsetting now, 9 00:00:55,053 --> 00:00:56,930 but in the end, it's for the best. 10 00:00:57,702 --> 00:00:59,843 The thing about long-term marriage 11 00:00:59,968 --> 00:01:02,152 is that, inevitably, the sex suffers. 12 00:01:03,155 --> 00:01:06,956 You constantly have to find new and erotic ways 13 00:01:07,072 --> 00:01:08,874 of spicing things up in the bedroom. 14 00:01:10,106 --> 00:01:12,290 It's a gift and training. 15 00:01:12,410 --> 00:01:16,440 I mean, you can... It's like I was good at it before I was trained, 16 00:01:16,557 --> 00:01:20,357 but now I'm trained I'm better than people who weren't good before. 17 00:01:20,474 --> 00:01:22,767 Today's our staff training, 18 00:01:24,698 --> 00:01:26,762 I do a couple a year. 19 00:01:26,886 --> 00:01:29,344 This is Rowan, our facilitator for the day. 20 00:01:29,459 --> 00:01:32,681 It's good to get in an outsider now and again. 21 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:35,640 It helps to keep them sort of interested, you know. 22 00:01:35,757 --> 00:01:38,629 And I'm trained in it. I have an MBA from Bradford. 23 00:01:38,752 --> 00:01:42,356 I'm trained in it as well. I could have done this myself. 24 00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:45,087 Let me tell you what today is all about. 25 00:01:45,203 --> 00:01:48,075 I can do that... - Well, it's my... thing. 26 00:01:48,198 --> 00:01:50,612 It's about customer care, really. 27 00:01:50,733 --> 00:01:53,496 Investment in people - I. E. the staff. 28 00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:56,790 Letting them know they are our most important commodity, 29 00:01:56,915 --> 00:01:59,755 and if they've got a problem, it's my problem... 30 00:02:04,787 --> 00:02:08,620 It's like if you're cleaning a floor and you're up against it, 31 00:02:08,742 --> 00:02:12,149 then come to me and I'll help us clean our floor together. 32 00:02:13,235 --> 00:02:14,458 So... 33 00:02:15,155 --> 00:02:16,378 Not literally. 34 00:02:23,373 --> 00:02:24,901 See you in there. 35 00:02:27,674 --> 00:02:29,017 I'm really sorry. 36 00:02:31,206 --> 00:02:34,351 Things will be OK between you and Lee, you know, 37 00:02:34,470 --> 00:02:37,922 because you and Lee are going to be together, and he knows that, 38 00:02:38,042 --> 00:02:40,728 and if he doesn't appreciate that, he's mad. 39 00:02:40,845 --> 00:02:43,181 If he doesn't appreciate it, I'll marry you! 40 00:02:48,218 --> 00:02:50,511 Hello. You're through to Keith. 41 00:02:51,174 --> 00:02:53,817 I will be at training all day today. 42 00:02:54,669 --> 00:02:58,699 Please call me or leave a message and I will call you tomorrow. 43 00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:00,881 You're so lovely. - I'm not lovely. 44 00:03:01,005 --> 00:03:02,654 You are. - No, you are. 45 00:03:04,077 --> 00:03:06,141 I'm snotty. - You're snotty and lovely. 46 00:03:06,266 --> 00:03:07,718 I'd marry your snot. 47 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:09,260 Boys... - All right, mate. 48 00:03:09,376 --> 00:03:11,025 What's going on? - Nothing. 49 00:03:11,142 --> 00:03:13,828 You're upset. About Lee, is it? 50 00:03:13,946 --> 00:03:15,747 Hey, don't worry, all right? 51 00:03:15,942 --> 00:03:19,743 Monkey Alan in the warehouse fancies you even if no one else does. 52 00:03:30,189 --> 00:03:31,641 What was that? 53 00:03:32,723 --> 00:03:34,864 Can't say anything when they're like that. 54 00:03:34,989 --> 00:03:38,014 No, you can't. You can't. I was doing OK. 55 00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:40,438 What's this Monkey Alan business? 56 00:03:40,557 --> 00:03:42,664 Well, he fancies her. I'm just saying. 57 00:03:42,784 --> 00:03:45,962 She didn't need to know that. It's Monkey Alan. The name... 58 00:03:46,086 --> 00:03:48,456 I don't know who Monkey Alan is, but I bet... 59 00:03:48,582 --> 00:03:50,799 He's a little bloke. - I don't need to know. 60 00:03:50,925 --> 00:03:52,191 Go away, please. 61 00:03:52,883 --> 00:03:54,259 Go over there. 62 00:04:00,333 --> 00:04:03,664 I'm Rowan, and I'm going to lead us through today's sessions. 63 00:04:03,789 --> 00:04:05,088 Under me. 64 00:04:05,210 --> 00:04:07,470 As David actually has briefed me and says 65 00:04:07,667 --> 00:04:09,731 a lot of this you'll be familiar with, 66 00:04:09,856 --> 00:04:11,887 but it's not a bad idea to recap anyway, 67 00:04:12,006 --> 00:04:14,649 and I hope a few new ideas will be thrown in. 68 00:04:14,771 --> 00:04:18,070 We're going to start by watching a video - a nice gentle start. 69 00:04:18,189 --> 00:04:20,143 It's a bit cheesy and a bit '80s, 70 00:04:20,262 --> 00:04:23,714 but I think a lot of the ideas are still pretty valid. OK? 71 00:04:24,218 --> 00:04:26,554 A good idea is a good idea forever. 72 00:04:27,750 --> 00:04:29,049 Yeah. OK. 73 00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:30,849 Philosophy. 74 00:04:49,446 --> 00:04:50,669 Hi, 75 00:04:51,981 --> 00:04:56,350 What's the single most important thing to your business? 76 00:04:56,474 --> 00:04:58,887 Staff. - That's right, The customer, 77 00:04:59,930 --> 00:05:01,305 A different angle. 78 00:05:01,427 --> 00:05:03,841 These are your profits for this year, 79 00:05:06,074 --> 00:05:08,793 And this I's what you're doing to those profits... 80 00:05:10,605 --> 00:05:13,782 I'f you underestimate the value of customer care, 81 00:05:15,558 --> 00:05:17,208 That's not real money. 82 00:05:17,632 --> 00:05:19,893 Do you know why? - He'd be mad to burn it. 83 00:05:20,013 --> 00:05:23,082 No. It's illegal to destroy or burn anything 84 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:25,493 containing the Queen's image of the realm. 85 00:05:25,619 --> 00:05:28,382 Can we just watch the video? - Yeah. That's true. 86 00:05:28,499 --> 00:05:32,027 Statistics show that I'f you're treated well as a customer 87 00:05:32,224 --> 00:05:33,829 you'll tell five people, 88 00:05:33,952 --> 00:05:36,595 If you're treated badly, you'll tell nine, 89 00:05:37,677 --> 00:05:40,516 So can you set fire to a stamp? - No. 90 00:05:40,634 --> 00:05:43,429 In fact, a postage stamp is legal tender. 91 00:05:44,013 --> 00:05:47,114 A bus driver would have to accept that as currency. 92 00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:49,996 Yeah. That'd happen! - If he doesn't, report him. 93 00:05:50,118 --> 00:05:51,843 When I'm walking home. 94 00:05:51,962 --> 00:05:54,528 Get a taxi if you've got enough stamps. 95 00:05:54,726 --> 00:05:57,096 Cash them at a post office. - Shouldn't have to. 96 00:05:57,798 --> 00:05:59,480 Shouldn't have to. 97 00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:01,827 Here's a typical office, 98 00:06:02,598 --> 00:06:05,056 Yeah? Oh, yeah, Awful, I'sn't I't? 99 00:06:05,248 --> 00:06:07,706 Yeah? Really? I asked him... 100 00:06:07,821 --> 00:06:09,546 Excuse me, I'm I'n a hurry, 101 00:06:09,741 --> 00:06:12,504 I'm on the phone, God, aren't people rude? 102 00:06:12,698 --> 00:06:16,149 I must tell you about George, It started about a year ago... 103 00:06:16,269 --> 00:06:19,829 Well done, That customer won't be bothering you again, 104 00:06:20,032 --> 00:06:21,452 Ever, 105 00:06:21,568 --> 00:06:23,785 Let's see what should have happened, 106 00:06:23,910 --> 00:06:26,280 Yeah, Yeah, Awful, I'sn't I't? 107 00:06:26,406 --> 00:06:29,049 Yeah? Really? You know, I said to him... 108 00:06:29,248 --> 00:06:31,050 Sorry, sir, I'll be right with you, 109 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:34,853 Sorry, Jean, I have to go, I have a customer, 110 00:06:35,046 --> 00:06:37,657 I'll call you back at a more convenient time, 111 00:06:38,541 --> 00:06:41,456 All she had to do was acknowledge the customer's presence 112 00:06:41,574 --> 00:06:44,873 and end her personal call as quickly as possible, 113 00:06:47,718 --> 00:06:50,711 This I's what we call the Customer Care Tree... 114 00:06:52,710 --> 00:06:55,583 Your prescription will be ready on Friday, madam, 115 00:06:55,706 --> 00:06:57,660 Fine, See you Tuesday, 116 00:07:00,390 --> 00:07:02,956 So I'f you've put together a crack team, 117 00:07:03,078 --> 00:07:06,485 don't let your business get taken hostage by complacency, 118 00:07:06,611 --> 00:07:09,374 Make your motto 'Who Cares, Wins', 119 00:07:09,491 --> 00:07:12,331 Hey, I know you, Can I have your autograph? 120 00:07:12,448 --> 00:07:13,671 Of course, 121 00:07:13,792 --> 00:07:15,288 Thank you, Mr Noakes, 122 00:07:18,822 --> 00:07:20,777 Very good. Very good. 123 00:07:20,896 --> 00:07:22,654 OK, then. Right. That's that. 124 00:07:22,778 --> 00:07:24,001 John Noakes. 125 00:07:24,122 --> 00:07:26,732 Yeah. They worked together on 'Blue Peter'. 126 00:07:26,848 --> 00:07:29,458 Can I...? - She was short-sighted... Yeah. 127 00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:32,719 OK. Right. Well, you've all seen the video. 128 00:07:32,838 --> 00:07:35,208 Now it's time for the dreaded role play. 129 00:07:35,334 --> 00:07:37,977 We'll kick off with your leader, David Brent. 130 00:07:38,099 --> 00:07:41,091 David, if you could come here. Round of applause for David. 131 00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:42,705 No, no, no. 132 00:07:43,590 --> 00:07:45,315 Cheating. I have done this before. 133 00:07:45,434 --> 00:07:48,044 Good. That should make it a lot easier for us. 134 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:50,846 Nice and simple to start with. - Hard as you like. 135 00:07:50,963 --> 00:07:53,070 Well, let's kick off with something easy. 136 00:07:53,190 --> 00:07:57,330 I want us to play out a scenario that highlights customer care. 137 00:07:57,453 --> 00:07:59,330 OK. - All of you deal with people... 138 00:07:59,450 --> 00:08:02,978 All the time. - You can all improve people skills. 139 00:08:03,098 --> 00:08:06,013 In this scenario... We'll start with something easy. 140 00:08:06,208 --> 00:08:08,392 This will be the wrong way to do it! 141 00:08:08,512 --> 00:08:11,963 I'm going to play a very bad hotel manager who doesn't care... 142 00:08:12,083 --> 00:08:16,834 If it's a Basil Fawlty character, maybe I should do it for the comedy. 143 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:19,755 Let me just play it now to kick things off, OK? 144 00:08:19,878 --> 00:08:21,790 I'll probably bring that to this role. 145 00:08:21,914 --> 00:08:23,868 Right. You've got a complaint. 146 00:08:23,987 --> 00:08:27,591 Come and complain and I'll show you the wrong way to handle it. 147 00:08:27,712 --> 00:08:29,470 OK. So off we go. 148 00:08:31,898 --> 00:08:34,660 Sorry. What's the complaint? - Just make it up. 149 00:08:34,778 --> 00:08:39,146 Anything. There's no right or wrong thing in this scenario. 150 00:08:39,270 --> 00:08:42,219 We'll tell you the right thing afterwards. 151 00:08:42,342 --> 00:08:43,762 You complain. - Right. 152 00:08:43,878 --> 00:08:46,980 OK. I'd like to make a complaint. - I don't care. 153 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:51,512 I am staying in the hotel... - It's not my shift. 154 00:08:51,635 --> 00:08:53,513 You're an ambassador for the hotel. 155 00:08:53,632 --> 00:08:56,198 I don't care. - You will when I tell you. 156 00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:58,198 There's been a rape up there! 157 00:09:05,958 --> 00:09:09,682 I got his attention. Get their attention. OK? 158 00:09:10,643 --> 00:09:13,942 Right. Some interesting points... - Very interesting points. 159 00:09:14,061 --> 00:09:16,704 It's not quite the point I was trying to make. 160 00:09:16,826 --> 00:09:18,245 Different points to be made. 161 00:09:18,362 --> 00:09:20,502 I'm interested in customer care. - So am I. 162 00:09:20,627 --> 00:09:22,844 And the way we'd deal with... - I fazed you. 163 00:09:22,970 --> 00:09:25,732 Maybe I should play the manager as I'm used to it. 164 00:09:25,850 --> 00:09:29,224 I fazed you. You have a go. See if you can faze me. OK? 165 00:09:29,344 --> 00:09:30,764 Yeah. All right. 166 00:09:31,994 --> 00:09:35,138 Hello. I wish to make a complaint. - Not interested. 167 00:09:35,258 --> 00:09:37,365 My room is a disgrace. - Don't care. 168 00:09:37,485 --> 00:09:40,128 The bathroom's dirty... - What room are you in? 169 00:09:40,250 --> 00:09:43,319 362. - There is no 362 in this hotel. 170 00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:46,388 Sometimes the complaints will be false. 171 00:09:48,275 --> 00:09:50,306 OK? Good. 172 00:09:56,570 --> 00:10:00,632 Today is really about all of you getting to know and trust each other. 173 00:10:00,755 --> 00:10:04,665 So what I want us to do is just spend a few minutes... 174 00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:08,924 Sorry. Can I have a quick word with Dawn? 175 00:10:09,050 --> 00:10:10,393 Dawn? 176 00:10:12,582 --> 00:10:16,798 What I want us to do is for everyone to tell me their name 177 00:10:16,922 --> 00:10:19,684 and their ultimate dream - their ultimate fantasy. 178 00:10:19,802 --> 00:10:21,713 I'll kick things off. My name's Rowan, 179 00:10:21,837 --> 00:10:24,752 and my dream is to have my own island. 180 00:10:25,446 --> 00:10:26,669 David. 181 00:10:27,597 --> 00:10:30,469 It depends what you mean by ultimate fantasy 182 00:10:30,592 --> 00:10:33,158 because time traveis actually impossible... 183 00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:35,813 Just interpret it any way you like. 184 00:10:35,930 --> 00:10:39,458 Yeah. If you're talking about anything that could 185 00:10:39,578 --> 00:10:42,144 or could not be possible, actually. 186 00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:46,558 Anything that could be conceived of to happen or not, 187 00:10:46,758 --> 00:10:49,598 within my realm, you know... 188 00:10:49,715 --> 00:10:52,587 then probably some sort of everlasting life. 189 00:10:52,710 --> 00:10:55,735 I don't just mean in a spiritual or religious sense, 190 00:10:55,859 --> 00:10:58,579 but actually to experience the future 191 00:10:58,701 --> 00:11:01,540 and live, you know, on and on... 192 00:11:01,658 --> 00:11:04,835 and on, and know what it's like to live forever. 193 00:11:05,574 --> 00:11:08,185 I think I'm starting to know what that's like. 194 00:11:09,146 --> 00:11:10,795 I'm saying... - No, hang on. 195 00:11:10,912 --> 00:11:14,636 You always have your say. - When have I had my say? 196 00:11:14,752 --> 00:11:17,285 I've been engaged to Lee for um... 197 00:11:17,478 --> 00:11:19,433 God! about three years. 198 00:11:19,552 --> 00:11:22,959 He proposed on a Valentine's Day. 199 00:11:23,085 --> 00:11:24,767 He didn't do it face to face. 200 00:11:24,890 --> 00:11:28,570 He did it in one of the Valentine's message bits in the paper. 201 00:11:28,691 --> 00:11:29,957 Um... 202 00:11:30,074 --> 00:11:33,984 I think he had to pay for it by the word because it just said, 203 00:11:34,106 --> 00:11:37,634 'Lee love Dawn. Marriage?' 204 00:11:39,942 --> 00:11:41,471 Which I like. 205 00:11:41,594 --> 00:11:46,465 It's not often you get something that's both romantic and thrifty. 206 00:11:47,853 --> 00:11:49,655 And don't phone my mum again! 207 00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:52,188 Dawn, do you want...? - Don't. 208 00:11:52,730 --> 00:11:53,953 OK. 209 00:11:54,074 --> 00:11:55,799 Um... 210 00:11:55,994 --> 00:12:00,286 Gareth, a quick trust exercise. Ultimate fantasy? 211 00:12:00,410 --> 00:12:03,479 Hmm? - We're doing the ultimate fantasy. 212 00:12:05,478 --> 00:12:08,700 Two lesbians, probably. Sisters. I'm just watching. 213 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:14,540 OK. Um... 214 00:12:15,078 --> 00:12:16,760 Tim? Do you have one? 215 00:12:16,883 --> 00:12:20,061 I never thought I'd say this, but can I hear more from Gareth? 216 00:12:26,061 --> 00:12:29,359 OK. Well, this next exercise is all about... 217 00:12:29,478 --> 00:12:30,931 motivation. 218 00:12:31,053 --> 00:12:33,892 That's going to be a key word today - motivation. 219 00:12:34,010 --> 00:12:35,582 So... Keith? 220 00:12:35,776 --> 00:12:39,380 What would you say was your motivation for working here? 221 00:12:39,501 --> 00:12:41,608 Being part of a team. - Let him answer. 222 00:12:41,728 --> 00:12:43,606 That's what he'll say if you ask him. 223 00:12:43,725 --> 00:12:46,061 I am asking him and I'd like him to answer. 224 00:12:46,682 --> 00:12:48,483 Do you want to answer him? 225 00:12:48,602 --> 00:12:50,513 This job's just a stop-gap, really. 226 00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:53,706 The job's not difficult. I don't take my work home. 227 00:12:54,554 --> 00:12:56,618 It's brainless. - At your level maybe. 228 00:12:56,742 --> 00:13:01,002 But, ultimately, I want to play music, write music, play in a band. 229 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:04,265 Good luck! Been there, done that, bought the T shirt. Next! 230 00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:07,104 You were in a band? A rock band? - Yeah. 231 00:13:07,302 --> 00:13:10,065 What were you called? - Foregone Conclusion. 232 00:13:10,182 --> 00:13:12,399 I'm not sure this is the right time... 233 00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:14,786 I've got to field the questions. - David. 234 00:13:14,982 --> 00:13:17,046 What did you do? - Singer-songwriter. 235 00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:21,354 Lyrics man, mainly, but you know, the music came easy as well, so... 236 00:13:21,472 --> 00:13:24,846 OK. Right. So, are there any more questions for David? 237 00:13:24,966 --> 00:13:27,260 No? Good. - You didn't give them a chance. 238 00:13:27,386 --> 00:13:30,607 Did you want to say something? - Were you successful? 239 00:13:30,726 --> 00:13:33,599 Were we successful? I'll let you judge that 240 00:13:33,722 --> 00:13:36,212 when I tell you that we were once supported 241 00:13:36,333 --> 00:13:39,205 by a little-known Scottish outfit called Texas. 242 00:13:41,286 --> 00:13:45,469 I get all this, 'Oh, David, you're a brilliant singer-songwriter. 243 00:13:45,587 --> 00:13:50,152 'You're stuck in Slough while Texas are off making all the money, 244 00:13:50,272 --> 00:13:52,226 'and they're rubbish compared to you. ' 245 00:13:52,346 --> 00:13:54,027 I go, 'Don't slag them off. ' 246 00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:58,441 I say, 'I've been there, I've done that. That's behind me. ' 247 00:13:58,566 --> 00:13:59,942 And I respect... 248 00:14:00,064 --> 00:14:03,865 The thing is, we're both good in our own fields. 249 00:14:03,981 --> 00:14:08,426 I'm sure Texas couldn't run and manage a successful paper merchants. 250 00:14:08,550 --> 00:14:10,538 I couldn't do what... 251 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:15,339 Actually, I could do what they do, and I think they knew it back then. 252 00:14:15,462 --> 00:14:17,494 Probably what spurred them on. 253 00:14:29,555 --> 00:14:32,427 I wrote this. I only play songs I've written myself. 254 00:14:32,550 --> 00:14:34,200 He went home to get it. 255 00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:04,107 Racial. So... 256 00:15:09,990 --> 00:15:11,333 Good stuff. 257 00:15:29,459 --> 00:15:30,682 Everybody 258 00:15:39,443 --> 00:15:41,201 She's dead. - She's not dead. 259 00:16:01,331 --> 00:16:04,171 What, you? - No. He's looking at a photograph. 260 00:16:04,288 --> 00:16:06,701 Of you? - No. Of his girlfriend. 261 00:16:07,398 --> 00:16:09,233 The video would show it. - Sorry. 262 00:16:09,357 --> 00:16:11,082 Sounds a bit gay. - It's not gay. 263 00:16:53,210 --> 00:16:55,896 That's brilliant, David. Really good. 264 00:16:56,704 --> 00:16:58,538 I'm trying to think of other ones. 265 00:16:58,662 --> 00:17:00,464 Right. That's lunch. - OK. 266 00:17:01,504 --> 00:17:06,026 What, in the name of jumping Jehosaphat, was that song about? 267 00:17:06,688 --> 00:17:08,905 I mean, what was that about? 268 00:17:09,030 --> 00:17:13,016 What's he doing? What's Warren doing telling people to say please? 269 00:17:13,139 --> 00:17:15,782 If you don't know, you don't deserve a job. After you. 270 00:17:15,904 --> 00:17:17,127 Thank you. 271 00:17:17,248 --> 00:17:19,585 Are you all right? - Yes, thank you. 272 00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:20,929 Good. 273 00:17:26,195 --> 00:17:27,844 Are you OK? 274 00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:30,454 Forget all about him. He's not worth it. 275 00:17:30,573 --> 00:17:32,757 I go through this sort of thing all the time. 276 00:17:32,877 --> 00:17:35,138 Although it's usually me who dumps them. 277 00:17:35,258 --> 00:17:37,551 No one dumped anyone. It was an argument. 278 00:17:37,677 --> 00:17:40,134 Come out with me. I'll find you a new bloke. 279 00:17:40,250 --> 00:17:41,899 It was just an argument. 280 00:17:42,707 --> 00:17:44,203 Well, I'm just saying. 281 00:17:44,781 --> 00:17:46,997 Thanks. That's nice. 282 00:17:52,077 --> 00:17:53,376 You OK? 283 00:17:53,498 --> 00:17:55,299 Yeah. - Sit down. 284 00:17:55,418 --> 00:17:57,754 Now, I don't want to pry, 285 00:17:57,875 --> 00:18:01,708 but I am aware of your personal problem, 286 00:18:01,830 --> 00:18:07,083 and I wouldn't be the boss or the man that I am 287 00:18:07,206 --> 00:18:11,269 if I didn't lend some words of encouragement. 288 00:18:14,618 --> 00:18:16,987 This is something I wrote. I hope it helps. 289 00:18:48,717 --> 00:18:51,010 Is that originally about Princess Diana? 290 00:18:52,442 --> 00:18:55,128 Originally. But it fits perfectly, doesn't it? 291 00:18:55,936 --> 00:18:57,694 Not the car crash bit. 292 00:18:58,086 --> 00:18:59,309 Well... 293 00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:02,379 Your relationship with Lee is a bit like a car crash. 294 00:19:02,502 --> 00:19:03,725 In Paris? 295 00:19:03,846 --> 00:19:05,189 City of love. 296 00:19:07,648 --> 00:19:10,061 You're right. It fits perfectly. Thank you. 297 00:19:25,389 --> 00:19:28,917 Being dumped is the perfect excuse to do all the things you want to do. 298 00:19:29,037 --> 00:19:33,099 I wasn't dumped. And, actually, I have been thinking of leaving. 299 00:19:33,952 --> 00:19:36,245 How long have you been thinking of leaving? 300 00:19:36,371 --> 00:19:38,326 Who's leaving? - I am. 301 00:19:38,445 --> 00:19:41,284 Well, that's stupid. You've got a job here for life. 302 00:19:41,402 --> 00:19:44,317 Yeah. I don't want to spend my life answering phones 303 00:19:44,435 --> 00:19:47,121 in some crappy sub-branch paper merchants. 304 00:19:47,238 --> 00:19:50,340 Dawn, you could be answering those phones in Head Office 305 00:19:50,464 --> 00:19:51,960 or a better paper merchants. 306 00:19:52,077 --> 00:19:53,954 Why waste her life in paper? 307 00:19:54,074 --> 00:19:55,799 Not a waste, actually, not a waste. 308 00:19:55,917 --> 00:19:59,947 Look at Jeff Lamp. He's 42, he's got a Porsche. That's from paper. 309 00:20:00,064 --> 00:20:01,942 How long you been thinking of leaving? 310 00:20:07,936 --> 00:20:10,928 And are you going to lay down any of those tracks? 311 00:20:11,046 --> 00:20:14,191 Well, I've got a lot on one demo from the band days, 312 00:20:14,310 --> 00:20:16,921 but they're about ten years old, so if I put them out, 313 00:20:17,037 --> 00:20:19,876 I'd have to lay down some drum and bass shit on 'em. 314 00:20:19,994 --> 00:20:21,217 Sample shit. 315 00:20:21,338 --> 00:20:24,559 If you go back on the road, are you going to need any help? 316 00:20:24,678 --> 00:20:26,939 Look, I'm sorry to... - Hold on. What? 317 00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,353 Are you going to need a manager? 318 00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:31,390 Well, I'll probably manage myself. 319 00:20:31,514 --> 00:20:33,698 I could be your Assistant Manager. 320 00:20:34,739 --> 00:20:37,917 You could be Assistant to the Manager. Hold on, man. Shoot. 321 00:20:38,042 --> 00:20:40,804 We've got a lot to get through and no one's back. 322 00:20:40,922 --> 00:20:43,608 Get them over because Rowan wants to crack on. 323 00:20:43,725 --> 00:20:45,866 Do you want me to discipline them? - No. 324 00:20:49,331 --> 00:20:51,745 Imagine him in a band. Bald old git. 325 00:20:52,557 --> 00:20:54,773 The glasses would be stupid, so... 326 00:20:54,899 --> 00:20:56,777 What's the vibe in the second half? 327 00:20:56,896 --> 00:20:58,119 'Cause... 328 00:21:02,157 --> 00:21:05,378 Yeah. Not always for this company. I've worked for... Hi. 329 00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:08,260 various companies over the years. 330 00:21:08,378 --> 00:21:11,555 How did you get into doing this? How did you start? 331 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:14,902 Doing what I do? There are lots of ways, really. 332 00:21:15,712 --> 00:21:17,546 Are you thinking of doing it? 333 00:21:17,670 --> 00:21:21,045 I wouldn't mind, actually. It looks like quite good fun. 334 00:21:21,165 --> 00:21:23,119 Does it? - Yeah. Quite interesting. 335 00:21:25,235 --> 00:21:29,570 Right. This next exercise is all about forward planning 336 00:21:29,766 --> 00:21:31,109 and team work. 337 00:21:31,226 --> 00:21:33,759 I'm going to put you into pairs for this. 338 00:21:33,875 --> 00:21:36,977 So um... Gareth, if you can go with Tim. 339 00:21:37,101 --> 00:21:38,476 Oh, God! 340 00:21:39,098 --> 00:21:42,199 I wouldn't want to be stuck with you in a situation either. 341 00:21:42,323 --> 00:21:44,005 A situation? What situation? 342 00:21:44,128 --> 00:21:48,387 Who would you rather be with on a desert island whittling wood and berries? 343 00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:51,345 Daley Thompson. 344 00:21:54,227 --> 00:21:56,521 OK. Let me give you the problem. 345 00:21:57,299 --> 00:21:59,789 A farmer - not pictured - 346 00:21:59,910 --> 00:22:02,826 has a chicken, a bag of grain and a fox, 347 00:22:02,944 --> 00:22:05,161 and he needs to get them across the river, 348 00:22:05,286 --> 00:22:06,891 but - and here's the rub - 349 00:22:07,091 --> 00:22:10,236 his boat is only big enough to take one item at a time. 350 00:22:10,355 --> 00:22:13,577 I want you to work out in what order he takes them across. 351 00:22:13,696 --> 00:22:15,837 Remember... - Five minutes, OK? 352 00:22:16,614 --> 00:22:21,987 He can't take the fox first because then the chicken will eat the seed. 353 00:22:27,443 --> 00:22:31,276 He can't take the grain because that leaves the fox and the chicken. 354 00:22:31,398 --> 00:22:34,009 Fox and the chicken together? Bloodbath. 355 00:22:34,125 --> 00:22:37,302 Yeah, I know. He can't leave the chicken with the grain. 356 00:22:37,427 --> 00:22:41,490 Er, hello? I'm a chicken. Thanks for leaving me with my favourite food. 357 00:22:41,613 --> 00:22:43,524 I'm saying you can't do that. 358 00:22:44,762 --> 00:22:47,754 How big is this chicken? The same size as a bag of grain? 359 00:22:48,371 --> 00:22:50,358 I don't know. Big chicken. - How big? 360 00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:52,285 Big. It's a super-chicken. 361 00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:54,544 What's the farmer doing with a fox? 362 00:22:54,669 --> 00:22:57,967 A fox is a farmer's worst enemy. He should drown the fox. 363 00:22:58,086 --> 00:23:00,303 Gareth, it's a puzzle. It's just a puzzle. 364 00:23:00,429 --> 00:23:02,154 Yeah. Well, it's stupid. 365 00:23:02,349 --> 00:23:03,998 What are we learning from it? 366 00:23:04,115 --> 00:23:06,256 It's just a problem to be solved. 367 00:23:07,456 --> 00:23:09,597 Put the grain on a wall. - There's no wall. 368 00:23:09,722 --> 00:23:11,479 There's always walls. - Not here. 369 00:23:11,603 --> 00:23:14,519 There's nothing? There's just a farm and a river? 370 00:23:15,443 --> 00:23:17,474 Get his wife to help. - He ain't got one. 371 00:23:17,594 --> 00:23:19,658 All farmers have wives. - This one's gay. 372 00:23:19,782 --> 00:23:22,076 Then he shouldn't be allowed near animals. 373 00:23:23,661 --> 00:23:26,838 You'd take the grain next. - Then the grain. 374 00:23:35,526 --> 00:23:37,404 He's got to take the chicken first, 375 00:23:37,523 --> 00:23:40,243 so he can leave the fox with the grain. 376 00:23:40,442 --> 00:23:42,582 Shall I tell them? - No, I'll do it. 377 00:23:42,707 --> 00:23:46,038 They're more receptive to me. - It's straightforward. Right. 378 00:23:46,163 --> 00:23:48,500 Here's the answer. 379 00:23:48,621 --> 00:23:52,498 First he takes the chicken across, leaving the fox with the grain. 380 00:23:52,614 --> 00:23:56,066 Then he brings the fox across, but he brings the chicken back. 381 00:23:56,186 --> 00:23:58,828 Then he takes the grain across, leaves it with the fox, 382 00:23:58,950 --> 00:24:00,905 then he comes back for the chicken. 383 00:24:01,024 --> 00:24:03,514 I'm sure you all got the answer... - Easy. 384 00:24:03,635 --> 00:24:07,316 Yeah, but the important thing here is that you were working as a team. 385 00:24:07,437 --> 00:24:08,857 Sorry. Gareth? 386 00:24:09,779 --> 00:24:11,537 Yeah. Some questions. 387 00:24:16,614 --> 00:24:19,257 I hope that exercise demonstrated that it's vital 388 00:24:19,379 --> 00:24:22,524 that every member of a team... - Follows a leader. 389 00:24:22,643 --> 00:24:26,050 Well, knows their place within that structure. 390 00:24:26,176 --> 00:24:28,742 Some may be leaders... - He knows best, or she. 391 00:24:28,864 --> 00:24:32,894 Whoever is in charge may be... - In a team of women, for example. 392 00:24:33,011 --> 00:24:37,303 It may be women or men. Somebody may be scoring the goals... 393 00:24:37,427 --> 00:24:39,841 Can't stress that enough. - Absolutely. 394 00:24:39,962 --> 00:24:43,139 You may not be the person who... - Unconditional trust... 395 00:24:43,264 --> 00:24:45,142 is returned in leadership. 396 00:24:45,261 --> 00:24:49,138 It's important that you know your place and that you are supported... 397 00:24:49,254 --> 00:24:52,586 Maybe we should just move on... - Move on. 398 00:24:52,710 --> 00:24:54,698 To another exercise. 399 00:24:54,899 --> 00:24:56,624 What about this one? 400 00:24:56,742 --> 00:24:59,887 What do we think might be the lesson here? 401 00:25:00,006 --> 00:25:01,229 Dogs? 402 00:25:02,426 --> 00:25:03,878 Say what you see, Gareth. 403 00:25:04,691 --> 00:25:07,487 Give a dog a bone. - He's not Roy Walker, Gareth. 404 00:25:07,610 --> 00:25:08,833 What is it? 405 00:25:08,954 --> 00:25:12,590 If we pull together in the same direction, it's better for us all. 406 00:25:12,717 --> 00:25:14,474 They could be fighting. 407 00:25:14,598 --> 00:25:16,018 They're smiling. 408 00:25:16,134 --> 00:25:19,083 In the picture, maybe, but in reality... 409 00:25:21,165 --> 00:25:26,571 Look, the point here is that if the team is focused on its objectives, 410 00:25:26,694 --> 00:25:28,606 and those of the individual members, 411 00:25:28,730 --> 00:25:31,263 it's easier for everyone to achieve their goals. 412 00:25:31,379 --> 00:25:35,562 Exactly. Like the fable. You know the one when the dog's got a bone. 413 00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:38,672 He goes down to the lake to drink and sees his reflection. 414 00:25:38,790 --> 00:25:42,394 He goes, 'That dog's got a better bone. I'll have his as well. ' 415 00:25:42,515 --> 00:25:47,736 And when he opens his mouth, he drops the real bone and loses both. 416 00:25:47,930 --> 00:25:49,807 And what's that got to do with this? 417 00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:54,185 It's what Gareth was saying about if we've got our bones, 418 00:25:54,304 --> 00:25:57,253 don't go for other people's bones because you'll lose yours. 419 00:25:57,376 --> 00:25:58,948 What does that mean? 420 00:26:00,256 --> 00:26:02,942 Oh, don't you know? I thought it was... 421 00:26:03,597 --> 00:26:04,820 Bones. 422 00:26:04,941 --> 00:26:08,621 I'm bored of this. I am so bored. - Yeah. So am I. 423 00:26:08,819 --> 00:26:10,730 I don't mean this. I mean everything. 424 00:26:10,854 --> 00:26:12,766 The job. Sorry, Rowan, no disrespect. 425 00:26:12,966 --> 00:26:15,532 This is a waste of time. - I know how you feel. 426 00:26:15,654 --> 00:26:17,030 Let's get on with this. 427 00:26:17,152 --> 00:26:19,336 I can't take any more of this nonsense. 428 00:26:19,456 --> 00:26:23,442 I can't take another boring call about index board at 230 a ton. 429 00:26:23,565 --> 00:26:25,749 260. - You're a twat, OK? Shut up. 430 00:26:25,869 --> 00:26:29,625 Shut up. I'll give you my... We'll work out my notice. 431 00:26:29,747 --> 00:26:31,243 I'm going. Goodbye. 432 00:26:34,278 --> 00:26:35,774 He'll be fine. 433 00:26:37,581 --> 00:26:39,874 A waste of time. It was all a waste of time. 434 00:26:41,267 --> 00:26:43,833 Oh, see? Pressure. 435 00:26:43,955 --> 00:26:45,713 Not as easy as it looks. 436 00:26:45,837 --> 00:26:48,250 Sometimes the experience outweighs the... 437 00:26:49,523 --> 00:26:50,976 Sorry, David. Dawn. 438 00:26:51,098 --> 00:26:54,821 Now you've split up with Lee, would you like to come out for a drink? 439 00:26:58,125 --> 00:27:00,341 I haven't split up with him. 440 00:27:02,925 --> 00:27:06,955 I know. I meant as a friend. I did mean as a friend. 441 00:27:07,072 --> 00:27:09,365 OK. See you later. Yeah. 442 00:27:19,437 --> 00:27:21,119 Go and get the guitar. 443 00:27:27,501 --> 00:27:29,914 I'll probably write a song about this one day. 444 00:27:53,498 --> 00:27:56,949 We used to have a political reggae one called Equality Street. 445 00:28:00,486 --> 00:28:01,709 OK. 446 00:28:02,382 --> 00:28:11,982 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.