1 00:00:00,096 --> 00:00:06,176 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers. 2 00:00:25,281 --> 00:00:27,843 This is the worst part of my job, you know. 3 00:00:27,963 --> 00:00:30,526 I do not want to lose a good man. 4 00:00:31,967 --> 00:00:35,202 But it's out of my hands, 5 00:00:35,331 --> 00:00:39,408 and if it were in my hands, my hands are tied. It's nothing personal... 6 00:00:39,535 --> 00:00:41,209 Why am I getting fired? 7 00:00:41,337 --> 00:00:43,614 You're not getting fired. It's redundancy. 8 00:00:43,739 --> 00:00:48,499 Cutbacks being what they are, you are one of the unlucky ones. 9 00:00:48,624 --> 00:00:50,856 Or one of the lucky ones in my opinion! 10 00:00:53,189 --> 00:00:57,266 David, why, when there are three other forklift operators, 11 00:00:57,393 --> 00:00:59,909 do you decide to fire me and not Anton? 12 00:01:00,035 --> 00:01:02,313 Is this positive discrimination? 13 00:01:02,438 --> 00:01:04,715 Do you have disability quotas to fill? 14 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:06,673 I don't know what you mean. 15 00:01:06,802 --> 00:01:09,319 Are you keeping Anton on because he's disabled? 16 00:01:09,445 --> 00:01:11,802 Anton's not disabled. - He's a midget. 17 00:01:11,927 --> 00:01:16,369 Yeah, but you're not disabled if you're a midget. That's just small. 18 00:01:16,492 --> 00:01:19,328 Ronnie Corbett doesn't get special treatment. 19 00:01:19,455 --> 00:01:22,131 He's five foot. Anton's three foot four. 20 00:01:22,258 --> 00:01:26,175 So are some children. Children aren't disabled, are they? 21 00:01:26,302 --> 00:01:28,295 Children don't work in warehouses. 22 00:01:28,424 --> 00:01:32,103 Look, whether or not Anton is indeed a midget or a dwarf... 23 00:01:32,228 --> 00:01:35,462 No, he's a midget. - What's the difference? 24 00:01:36,312 --> 00:01:40,309 A dwarf has disproportionately short arms and legs. 25 00:01:40,516 --> 00:01:42,554 Oh, I know the ones. 26 00:01:42,678 --> 00:01:44,750 It's caused by a hormone deficiency. 27 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:46,759 Yeah. Bloody hormones. 28 00:01:46,882 --> 00:01:50,640 A midget is still a dwarf, but their arms and legs are in proportion. 29 00:01:51,607 --> 00:01:53,918 So what's an elf? 30 00:01:54,049 --> 00:01:55,689 Do you want to answer that? 31 00:02:02,898 --> 00:02:05,415 An elf is a supernatural being. 32 00:02:05,541 --> 00:02:08,342 Sometimes they're invisible, like fairies. 33 00:02:09,585 --> 00:02:12,739 They don't actually exist, do they? In real life? 34 00:02:37,733 --> 00:02:41,046 Do you think I enjoy this? It's been imposed upon me. 35 00:02:41,177 --> 00:02:43,454 'It's been imposed upon me!' 36 00:02:43,579 --> 00:02:46,049 Yeah. What do you want me to say, I'm sorry? 37 00:02:46,182 --> 00:02:48,334 Yeah. I want you to say you're sorry. 38 00:02:48,464 --> 00:02:50,502 Apologise and stop passing the buck! 39 00:02:50,626 --> 00:02:54,384 I'm not passing the buck. This is someone else's decision. 40 00:02:54,510 --> 00:02:57,152 Go above my head if you want. - Oh, I will. 41 00:02:57,273 --> 00:03:01,030 Good luck. It's your prerogative. - Yeah, it is. My prerogative. 42 00:03:05,161 --> 00:03:08,361 So is a pixie the same as an elf? - Hold on, Gareth. 43 00:03:08,484 --> 00:03:11,843 I just want to know how he knows so much about midgets. 44 00:03:15,411 --> 00:03:17,369 It's called an education. 45 00:03:19,855 --> 00:03:22,975 So what's a goblin? - How long will you be? 46 00:03:26,102 --> 00:03:29,097 I know I probably seem an imposing figure now - 47 00:03:29,225 --> 00:03:31,661 you know, the slick boss - 48 00:03:31,787 --> 00:03:34,543 but get to know me, you'll see I'm mad. 49 00:03:38,674 --> 00:03:40,553 I brought that in. 50 00:03:40,676 --> 00:03:41,951 So... 51 00:03:42,398 --> 00:03:44,231 Oh, here we go. 52 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:46,315 Malcolm. 53 00:03:46,442 --> 00:03:50,074 This is Malcolm. This is Karen Roper, my new secretary. 54 00:03:50,206 --> 00:03:53,724 You can all use her - as the actress said to the bishop. 55 00:03:54,090 --> 00:03:56,047 Nice to meet you. - Hello. 56 00:03:56,172 --> 00:04:00,009 David, can I just ask why you've hired yourself a new secretary 57 00:04:00,136 --> 00:04:03,097 when you're having to fire people like Alex? 58 00:04:03,219 --> 00:04:05,291 Different people, different jobs. 59 00:04:05,421 --> 00:04:10,819 To whit, the answer to the question, is it people or task 60 00:04:10,946 --> 00:04:12,904 is - well, you know - people. 61 00:04:14,590 --> 00:04:16,708 Like this person. Kojak. 62 00:04:17,673 --> 00:04:20,873 David, what I want to know... - Kojak we call him. 63 00:04:22,518 --> 00:04:25,718 am I going to be fired? When will we know? 64 00:04:25,841 --> 00:04:30,636 Good question. Jennifer is coming in midday today, Greenwich Mean Time. 65 00:04:30,766 --> 00:04:34,843 She will have the verdict then. OK. I was just keeping the troops happy. 66 00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:37,726 They'd be happier if they knew they'd got jobs. 67 00:04:37,853 --> 00:04:39,174 Yeah. 68 00:04:41,697 --> 00:04:45,010 I'm thinking of other weird-looking bald people. 69 00:04:45,141 --> 00:04:47,099 That one on Benny Hill? 70 00:04:47,223 --> 00:04:48,623 Oh, yeah. 71 00:04:58,434 --> 00:05:02,066 I don't know if you met Tim. He's thinking of leaving. 72 00:05:02,198 --> 00:05:04,191 He's feeling bad about himself. 73 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:08,112 I'm going to make him feel good about himself, turn it round. 74 00:05:08,244 --> 00:05:10,806 You know. Look and learn. So... 75 00:05:10,926 --> 00:05:12,407 Timothy! 76 00:05:13,048 --> 00:05:14,881 Hi. - Can I have a quick word? 77 00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:17,129 In the office. Walk this way. 78 00:05:17,253 --> 00:05:19,006 Quack, quack, quack! 79 00:05:20,136 --> 00:05:22,094 Always start with a joke. 80 00:05:27,263 --> 00:05:29,221 You might want to make notes. 81 00:05:30,506 --> 00:05:31,986 Hiya. Come in. 82 00:05:32,908 --> 00:05:34,866 How are you? - All right, thanks. 83 00:05:34,990 --> 00:05:37,985 You don't mind if Karen sits in to learn the ropes? 84 00:05:38,114 --> 00:05:40,186 No, not at all. What are we doing? 85 00:05:40,316 --> 00:05:43,595 I wanted to know why you're thinking of leaving, mate. 86 00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:47,196 I'm not thinking of leaving, I am leaving. 87 00:05:47,323 --> 00:05:48,598 Sure. Sure. 88 00:05:48,724 --> 00:05:52,403 I don't mean to stitch anyone up, but it's nothing I've said? 89 00:05:52,528 --> 00:05:55,887 Not at all, David. No. - Definitely not. No way. 90 00:05:56,092 --> 00:05:58,972 I don't want to put words in your mouth, 91 00:05:59,095 --> 00:06:01,930 but what sort of a boss would you say I am? 92 00:06:02,057 --> 00:06:03,970 I'm a... - Good boss, yeah. 93 00:06:04,100 --> 00:06:06,616 He said good. - No. You're a great boss. 94 00:06:06,742 --> 00:06:09,339 It's just that I'm not in a position... 95 00:06:09,465 --> 00:06:12,540 It's not because you asked Dawn out and she said no? 96 00:06:12,668 --> 00:06:14,945 I didn't ask her out. It was as a friend. 97 00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:18,146 It was as a friend. Put friend. Put friend down. 98 00:06:18,274 --> 00:06:20,585 So why the move? 99 00:06:22,518 --> 00:06:25,274 It's not one thing... - Go on. 100 00:06:25,401 --> 00:06:27,359 Can I...? - Sure. 101 00:06:28,003 --> 00:06:32,923 OK. I don't really enjoy the work I do here. I'm sorry, but... 102 00:06:33,129 --> 00:06:36,090 I feel a little bit like I'm wasting my time. 103 00:06:36,212 --> 00:06:39,207 That life's too short. - Exactly. Thank you. 104 00:06:39,335 --> 00:06:41,692 Let's be honest, David, I am 30. 105 00:06:41,817 --> 00:06:45,780 I want to retire with some stories to tell. - Not about paper. 106 00:06:45,981 --> 00:06:48,544 I've got paper stories that'll crack you up. 107 00:06:48,664 --> 00:06:51,306 That's true. Hilarious. - Put hilarious. 108 00:06:51,427 --> 00:06:53,306 Shall I go on? - How many are there? 109 00:06:53,509 --> 00:06:57,665 It's like an alarm clock's gone off and I've just got to get away. 110 00:06:57,793 --> 00:06:59,911 I think it was John Lennon who said... 111 00:07:00,156 --> 00:07:03,310 'Life is what happens when you're making other plans. ' 112 00:07:03,439 --> 00:07:05,477 That's how I feel. 113 00:07:07,883 --> 00:07:11,037 Though he also said, 'I am the walrus, I am the eggman', 114 00:07:11,167 --> 00:07:13,125 so I don't know what to believe! 115 00:07:14,250 --> 00:07:17,768 David, listen... - No, you listen to me, 'Tim'. 116 00:07:17,893 --> 00:07:21,890 When you first came here, you didn't know about the paper industry. 117 00:07:22,017 --> 00:07:25,377 I showed you the ropes, nurtured you, gave you a good job. 118 00:07:25,501 --> 00:07:27,892 That he doesn't want! - I didn't ask you. 119 00:07:28,023 --> 00:07:31,224 You asked me how I felt... - I don't want to know now. 120 00:07:31,347 --> 00:07:33,579 This has been a waste of time. Yeah. 121 00:07:33,709 --> 00:07:37,752 Why don't you both go and do some work instead of whinging, please? 122 00:07:37,873 --> 00:07:39,627 This is silly... - No, go on. 123 00:07:39,755 --> 00:07:43,718 Don't say out there what you said in here, apart from the good boss. 124 00:07:43,839 --> 00:07:48,041 I don't want you spreading bad vibes around my office, all right? 125 00:07:48,244 --> 00:07:50,123 Don't be like that at the party! 126 00:07:52,528 --> 00:07:54,486 You try and do a good deed... 127 00:07:55,611 --> 00:07:57,171 and that... 128 00:08:07,223 --> 00:08:08,657 You all right? 129 00:08:08,784 --> 00:08:10,105 Yeah. Hello. 130 00:08:11,347 --> 00:08:13,544 Are you going to the party? 131 00:08:13,669 --> 00:08:16,550 Yeah, yeah. Of course. I wouldn't miss it. 132 00:08:16,672 --> 00:08:18,710 And you? - Er, yes. 133 00:08:18,834 --> 00:08:20,155 Good. 134 00:08:21,557 --> 00:08:22,877 Hooray. 135 00:08:23,319 --> 00:08:25,277 See you later. - Yeah. 136 00:08:31,927 --> 00:08:34,045 I hope they get rl'd of me, 137 00:08:34,250 --> 00:08:37,131 Then I might get off my arse and do something. 138 00:08:37,253 --> 00:08:41,569 I don't think it's many little girls' dream to be a receptionist. 139 00:08:43,219 --> 00:08:46,931 I don't know what I'll do, but it's got to be a career move 140 00:08:47,062 --> 00:08:49,101 and not just another arbitrary job. 141 00:08:49,225 --> 00:08:50,545 Um... 142 00:08:50,666 --> 00:08:55,061 Tim says it's better to be at the foot of a ladder you want to climb 143 00:08:55,191 --> 00:08:57,149 than halfway up one you don't. 144 00:08:58,154 --> 00:09:02,515 But I don't... I just don't want to be treading water 145 00:09:02,638 --> 00:09:06,112 and wake up in five years and say, 'Shit! Done it again. ' 146 00:09:20,496 --> 00:09:22,170 Do you think you could...? 147 00:09:24,300 --> 00:09:27,454 Could you not do that here, mate? Not do that here? 148 00:09:27,583 --> 00:09:29,541 I've got to do it, mate. Really. 149 00:09:30,186 --> 00:09:32,463 No chance you could throw it in the bin? 150 00:09:33,349 --> 00:09:37,266 Yeah, and I'll take them round to rival companies and hand them out. 151 00:09:37,393 --> 00:09:40,752 Good point, but could you throw it in the bin? 152 00:09:41,597 --> 00:09:44,672 Gareth, can you keep it down a bit? 153 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:46,758 Hmm? - Can you stop it? 154 00:09:47,523 --> 00:09:49,800 Yeah. I'll just do it like this. 155 00:10:02,057 --> 00:10:04,290 Hiya. - Hi, David. Are you ready? 156 00:10:04,420 --> 00:10:05,695 Yeah. 157 00:10:06,462 --> 00:10:08,420 Who's she? - Don't know. 158 00:10:16,632 --> 00:10:19,354 I promised you some kind of answer today. 159 00:10:19,475 --> 00:10:23,757 I don't think it's the one you're expecting. Firstly, I'm moving on. 160 00:10:23,879 --> 00:10:28,275 Have you been fired? - No. I've been made into a partner. 161 00:10:29,525 --> 00:10:33,602 They've made you a partner? That'll be Wernham Hogg Taylor Clark. 162 00:10:33,729 --> 00:10:35,767 They'll have to change the stationery. 163 00:10:35,891 --> 00:10:39,251 I think we'll get a discount. - 40% sometimes. 164 00:10:39,375 --> 00:10:41,811 The point is, my job is now available 165 00:10:41,937 --> 00:10:45,411 and the board thought that you or Neil should do it. 166 00:10:47,062 --> 00:10:51,902 I can tell you the board have voted 5-2 in favour of you taking it. 167 00:10:53,989 --> 00:10:57,429 Voted for me 5-2? There's only seven on the board. 168 00:10:57,553 --> 00:11:00,195 Five out of seven. That's a landslide. 169 00:11:00,316 --> 00:11:02,069 David... - Go on. 170 00:11:02,198 --> 00:11:06,035 You've made it clear that you're 100% committed to your branch. 171 00:11:06,162 --> 00:11:10,205 You do understand that if you take on my job, Neil will stay in Swindon 172 00:11:10,326 --> 00:11:13,526 and your branch will be downsized and incorporated into his? 173 00:11:13,649 --> 00:11:14,924 Yup. 174 00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:17,692 I know that you're loyal to your family... 175 00:11:17,813 --> 00:11:21,127 I'd be loyal to the whole family. It's one big family. 176 00:11:21,257 --> 00:11:25,777 I just know that you have strong emotional ties to your team. 177 00:11:25,901 --> 00:11:30,934 Yeah, but there is the emotion as 'good in business' syndrome, sure, 178 00:11:31,066 --> 00:11:34,585 notwithstanding the cruel to be kind scenario... 179 00:11:34,710 --> 00:11:36,304 Sorry, you've lost me. 180 00:11:36,432 --> 00:11:40,145 You're not looking at the whole pie. Wernham Hogg is one big pie 181 00:11:40,276 --> 00:11:42,951 and if I'm in charge of that big pie, 182 00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:46,154 I'll be in charge of... The people are the fruit. 183 00:11:46,282 --> 00:11:48,878 I don't have time for the pie thing, David. 184 00:11:49,004 --> 00:11:51,601 I'm saying, OK, I'll take the job, please. 185 00:11:51,727 --> 00:11:55,644 Good. OK. The first step is to meet with Alan and the board. 186 00:11:55,851 --> 00:11:58,971 Yup. What's five out of seven as a percentage? 187 00:11:59,095 --> 00:12:00,415 Er... 70%. 188 00:12:00,536 --> 00:12:03,178 71.4. So... 189 00:12:03,299 --> 00:12:07,455 Call Susan and arrange to meet the board and finalise all the details. 190 00:12:07,583 --> 00:12:09,541 Congratulations and good luck. 191 00:12:09,665 --> 00:12:13,628 You don't need luck when you've got 71% of the population behind you. 192 00:12:16,672 --> 00:12:18,426 She's still here. 193 00:12:20,916 --> 00:12:22,510 Bye, Jennifer. 194 00:12:29,605 --> 00:12:32,759 What do you think? - He looked all right. 195 00:12:33,649 --> 00:12:36,085 How did it go? - What did she say? 196 00:12:36,212 --> 00:12:37,566 Fine. 197 00:12:37,693 --> 00:12:39,413 What's the damage? 198 00:12:39,975 --> 00:12:41,695 It's complicated. 199 00:12:41,817 --> 00:12:44,334 Are you going to tell us? - Yeah. 200 00:12:46,222 --> 00:12:47,542 David? 201 00:12:57,673 --> 00:12:59,552 We'd like to know now. 202 00:12:59,675 --> 00:13:01,668 OK. All right. 203 00:13:03,399 --> 00:13:04,879 OK. Gather. 204 00:13:05,641 --> 00:13:06,961 Um... 205 00:13:07,082 --> 00:13:10,795 Well, there's good news and bad news. 206 00:13:10,926 --> 00:13:15,322 The bad news is Neil will be taking over both branches 207 00:13:15,451 --> 00:13:17,569 and some of you will lose your jobs. 208 00:13:18,734 --> 00:13:23,176 Those of you who are kept on will have to relocate to Swindon... 209 00:13:24,780 --> 00:13:27,741 I know, I know. Gutting. Gutting. 210 00:13:28,984 --> 00:13:30,544 You didn't see me. 211 00:13:31,547 --> 00:13:36,751 On a more positive note, the good news is I've been promoted. 212 00:13:38,434 --> 00:13:41,315 So... every cloud... 213 00:13:47,403 --> 00:13:49,794 You're still thinking about the bad news. 214 00:13:49,925 --> 00:13:53,524 There's no good news. It's bad news and irrelevant news. 215 00:13:53,649 --> 00:13:57,931 That's not a phrase though. 'I've got bad news and irrelevant news. ' 216 00:13:58,053 --> 00:14:02,016 You could have told us about Neil and kept your promotion to yourself. 217 00:14:02,138 --> 00:14:03,936 Or told you the good news first... 218 00:14:04,059 --> 00:14:06,212 There is no good news, David. 219 00:14:06,342 --> 00:14:09,735 I think promotion is generally considered good news. 220 00:14:09,945 --> 00:14:13,305 We're going to lose our jobs! - You're not all going to. 221 00:14:13,429 --> 00:14:14,783 God! Just... 222 00:14:14,910 --> 00:14:18,384 You're not going to lose your job. You're not going to. 223 00:14:18,514 --> 00:14:20,552 You know... You're not going to. 224 00:14:20,676 --> 00:14:23,989 So just get it in perspective, yeah? 225 00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:25,875 Come on. 226 00:14:28,524 --> 00:14:32,203 You know there's only seven people on the board... 227 00:14:35,171 --> 00:14:38,006 When are the rest of us going to find out? 228 00:14:40,496 --> 00:14:44,459 I can't believe it. After all the things he said, it's just... 229 00:14:44,580 --> 00:14:46,220 I'm in shock. 230 00:14:46,422 --> 00:14:47,902 Sold us out. 231 00:14:49,105 --> 00:14:50,505 Wanker. 232 00:14:52,668 --> 00:14:55,231 What? David Brent's leaving? 233 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:06,273 So you're definitely leaving? 234 00:15:07,082 --> 00:15:09,075 Yup, it would appear so. 235 00:15:10,686 --> 00:15:12,485 What about us? 236 00:15:12,608 --> 00:15:15,489 There's nothing between us. - Not like that. 237 00:15:15,611 --> 00:15:17,524 But we're a team. 238 00:15:17,653 --> 00:15:19,771 I'm Assistant Regional Manager. 239 00:15:19,895 --> 00:15:22,651 Assistant to the Regional Manager. - Yeah. 240 00:15:22,778 --> 00:15:27,777 So I can still be your assistant if you're going off to the...? 241 00:15:27,903 --> 00:15:32,025 No. I'll be getting a proper assistant - a P.A. 242 00:15:32,148 --> 00:15:33,980 A lady? - Hopefully, yeah. 243 00:15:34,190 --> 00:15:36,148 Not 'cause of that, just... 244 00:15:36,272 --> 00:15:40,667 What about Neil? Does he need an...? I could be his assistant. 245 00:15:40,796 --> 00:15:42,993 Neil's bringing his man with him. 246 00:15:43,119 --> 00:15:46,239 Bloody good guy. Bloke called Terry someone. 247 00:15:46,442 --> 00:15:48,400 You'd like him. He's ex-army. 248 00:15:48,524 --> 00:15:49,924 Territorial? 249 00:15:52,448 --> 00:15:55,124 No. - Regular? 250 00:15:55,331 --> 00:15:56,765 Yeah. 251 00:15:57,453 --> 00:16:00,289 What rank? - Sergeant, I think. 252 00:16:01,737 --> 00:16:03,331 What are you? 253 00:16:03,459 --> 00:16:04,859 Lieutenant, sir. 254 00:16:06,902 --> 00:16:08,337 Anyway... 255 00:16:10,226 --> 00:16:12,139 That's it, then, is it? 256 00:16:12,268 --> 00:16:14,226 The old team on the scrapheap. 257 00:16:14,630 --> 00:16:16,304 It's all gone. 258 00:16:16,432 --> 00:16:18,470 Gareth... come on. 259 00:16:19,915 --> 00:16:23,878 You're a soldier. Yeah? Eh? Yeah? 260 00:16:24,079 --> 00:16:26,118 Stiff upper lip and all that, eh? 261 00:16:26,242 --> 00:16:30,876 Spirit of the Dambusters. Yeah? The squadron never dies, does it? 262 00:16:31,647 --> 00:16:34,528 Seen that film? - Yeah. I've got it on video. 263 00:16:34,650 --> 00:16:36,290 Well then, yeah? 264 00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:39,805 Before he goes into battle, he's playing with his dog. 265 00:16:39,935 --> 00:16:41,973 Nigger. - That's not offensive. 266 00:16:42,098 --> 00:16:45,810 That's the dog's name. It's the '40s, before racism was bad. 267 00:16:45,941 --> 00:16:48,777 The dog was called Nigger. - Don't keep saying it. 268 00:16:48,984 --> 00:16:50,465 Eh? 269 00:16:57,753 --> 00:16:59,791 So, take anything. 270 00:16:59,915 --> 00:17:03,912 Choose one thing. Choose a memento. From me to you. 271 00:17:04,039 --> 00:17:06,158 Take anything you want. - To keep? 272 00:17:06,282 --> 00:17:08,479 Yup. - I'll have the guitar. 273 00:17:08,604 --> 00:17:11,997 Not the guitar. I meant stationery. Something I can re-order. 274 00:17:12,128 --> 00:17:14,121 The hole punch. That's always handy. 275 00:17:18,654 --> 00:17:20,692 All right? - Yeah? 276 00:17:21,657 --> 00:17:23,490 Bloody good one, that. 277 00:17:31,587 --> 00:17:33,227 Like confetti. 278 00:17:34,750 --> 00:17:36,743 Could be used as confetti, yeah. 279 00:17:37,513 --> 00:17:39,949 Check with the vicar first, always. 280 00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:44,113 Don't get it on the carpet, Gareth. 281 00:17:45,561 --> 00:17:48,237 It's just... - Put it there. 282 00:17:48,804 --> 00:17:50,956 I don't see it as letting people down. 283 00:17:51,086 --> 00:17:55,642 If we're a family, it's time to let them stand on their own two feet. 284 00:17:55,771 --> 00:17:59,609 You can be sure that if they were in my position, they'd take the job. 285 00:17:59,735 --> 00:18:02,810 'Thanks for the opportunity and the great jokes. ' 286 00:18:02,938 --> 00:18:05,136 You know, this is a business. 287 00:18:05,261 --> 00:18:08,779 I'm not doing this for an Esther Rantzen Heart of Gold, 288 00:18:08,904 --> 00:18:13,107 or if Esther's handing out awards, then do it for my charity work. 289 00:18:13,229 --> 00:18:15,870 Five fun runs in two years. 290 00:18:15,991 --> 00:18:20,592 So why don't you ask Philippa Norris or Simon Coleman at Mencap 291 00:18:20,716 --> 00:18:22,674 what they think of David Brent? 292 00:18:27,723 --> 00:18:28,839 So... 293 00:18:35,251 --> 00:18:38,929 It's the end of the financial year and Spirits Are In The Sky. 294 00:18:50,586 --> 00:18:54,299 You're all smug now. You're moving away. But think of me. 295 00:18:54,430 --> 00:18:56,388 The shoe could be on the other foot. 296 00:18:56,512 --> 00:19:00,634 You're going to be all right. - Yeah. I work hard. I earn my keep. 297 00:19:00,756 --> 00:19:04,912 Unfortunately, the history books are full of just people 298 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:10,404 who toil and fight for worthy causes and the freedom of others and... 299 00:19:10,526 --> 00:19:13,521 That's the most profound thing you've ever said. 300 00:19:13,649 --> 00:19:17,771 You do that and foreigners, women or the disabled take advantage of it. 301 00:19:17,893 --> 00:19:19,851 Can I withdraw my last comment? 302 00:19:20,336 --> 00:19:23,570 What do you think of her? - A bit out of your league. 303 00:19:23,779 --> 00:19:25,851 Definitely. - No. Smug. 304 00:19:25,981 --> 00:19:29,375 You think you're so... Just 'cause you got a bit of Donna, 305 00:19:29,505 --> 00:19:32,500 and I played by the rules 'cause she was out of bounds. 306 00:19:32,628 --> 00:19:36,705 You sneaked in. I'd have got a bit if I'd known it was up for grabs. 307 00:19:36,832 --> 00:19:40,795 I'd have done her, but that would be shitting on your own doorstep. 308 00:19:40,916 --> 00:19:42,874 Anyway, I don't do sloppy seconds. 309 00:19:42,998 --> 00:19:47,041 It's phrases like sloppy seconds which make her out of your league. 310 00:20:13,709 --> 00:20:15,269 Hello! 311 00:20:16,112 --> 00:20:18,069 Welcome, everybody. A few things. 312 00:20:18,274 --> 00:20:21,587 See the raffle there? That's going to start later. 313 00:20:21,717 --> 00:20:24,712 You can win a printer. Something I'd bloody love. 314 00:20:26,202 --> 00:20:29,163 Although if I won it, I'd give it to charity or something, 315 00:20:29,285 --> 00:20:31,357 but that's... No pressure. 316 00:20:31,487 --> 00:20:33,684 Good luck to Ricky, 317 00:20:33,889 --> 00:20:36,850 who's off pursuing his career starting Monday. 318 00:20:36,972 --> 00:20:39,614 Have we got him a gift or something? 319 00:20:41,457 --> 00:20:43,609 You haven't been here long. 320 00:20:43,739 --> 00:20:46,700 Should have seen what we got Pete Gibbons. Oooh! 321 00:20:46,822 --> 00:20:49,578 He'll tell you. We all remember that. So... 322 00:20:53,469 --> 00:20:56,464 Just come from a meeting at Head Office, 323 00:20:57,153 --> 00:21:00,910 where I was officially offered the job as UK Manager. 324 00:21:01,917 --> 00:21:05,880 As you know, taking that job means a lot of you will lose your jobs, 325 00:21:06,001 --> 00:21:07,800 and I'd just like to say... 326 00:21:07,923 --> 00:21:10,440 I told them to shove their job up their arses! 327 00:21:12,648 --> 00:21:15,211 So you're staying here? - Yes. We all are. 328 00:21:15,331 --> 00:21:17,847 We'll incorporate Swindon. So... 329 00:21:17,973 --> 00:21:21,572 Hip hip hooray for David Brent! Hip hip... 330 00:21:23,219 --> 00:21:26,180 Stop it. Seriously. Move on. Let's move on. 331 00:21:26,302 --> 00:21:28,693 So have a good... Let's rock! 332 00:21:28,824 --> 00:21:32,343 Smashey and Nicey! Put the record on when I do that. 333 00:21:35,671 --> 00:21:36,946 Clumsy. 334 00:21:57,173 --> 00:21:59,291 Tim! - All right, mate? 335 00:21:59,415 --> 00:22:02,490 Did you ask my girlfriend out? - Eh? No. 336 00:22:02,618 --> 00:22:04,736 You hit on someone's girlfriend? - No. 337 00:22:04,860 --> 00:22:07,252 I can't let that go. - No. Listen... 338 00:22:07,383 --> 00:22:09,694 We've got a problem. - No, we haven't. 339 00:22:09,825 --> 00:22:13,105 What are we going to do? - Lee, I asked her out as a friend. 340 00:22:13,229 --> 00:22:15,187 It was just a soldier to cry on. 341 00:22:15,311 --> 00:22:16,791 A soldier? - Shoulder. 342 00:22:16,912 --> 00:22:19,110 A soldier? Are you bent or something? 343 00:22:20,756 --> 00:22:23,432 Is this a wind-up? - Yeah. Sorry, mate. 344 00:22:23,559 --> 00:22:26,520 Don't do that, man! - Having a laugh. I'm sorry. 345 00:22:26,642 --> 00:22:29,318 She's a good-looking girl. - Yeah, she is. 346 00:23:18,334 --> 00:23:22,411 That's the thing about leadership. Sometimes you sacrifice yourself. 347 00:23:23,499 --> 00:23:26,858 We just wanted to say that was a really good thing you did. 348 00:23:26,982 --> 00:23:28,337 Really impressive. 349 00:23:28,464 --> 00:23:31,140 I'd prefer your respect individually, but cheers. 350 00:23:31,267 --> 00:23:33,225 You've got our respect individually. 351 00:23:33,349 --> 00:23:37,266 I'd believe that if he hadn't jumped on top of you. 352 00:23:37,393 --> 00:23:39,670 Actually, I was on top! - All right. 353 00:23:39,795 --> 00:23:41,753 We just wanted to say well done. 354 00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:46,718 And they probably did oral. 355 00:23:51,807 --> 00:23:54,370 All right? Enjoying the party? 356 00:23:55,611 --> 00:23:57,683 So they offered you the job? 357 00:23:57,813 --> 00:24:01,730 Yeah. The thing is I've been with this nutty lot way too long 358 00:24:01,857 --> 00:24:05,740 to sell them down the river, so not interested. 359 00:24:05,861 --> 00:24:08,856 It's just that I was speaking to Paula and she... 360 00:24:08,984 --> 00:24:10,738 Paula? - Alan's assistant. 361 00:24:10,866 --> 00:24:14,829 She thinks you didn't take the job not because you didn't want it, 362 00:24:14,950 --> 00:24:18,913 but because you failed the medical because of high blood pressure. 363 00:24:20,476 --> 00:24:24,996 Ask yourself why I got high blood pressure on the day of the medical. 364 00:24:25,121 --> 00:24:28,912 Are you saying you cheated science and faked high blood pressure 365 00:24:29,044 --> 00:24:31,082 so you could remain in the job? 366 00:24:31,207 --> 00:24:34,202 You've got to ask yourself that. - Did you? 367 00:24:34,330 --> 00:24:38,327 What's worse - cheating medical science or cheating friends? 368 00:24:38,454 --> 00:24:43,088 The board of directors said, 'David, you're the best man for the job. 369 00:24:43,219 --> 00:24:45,576 'We won't take no for an answer. 370 00:24:45,701 --> 00:24:49,937 'Oh, you failed the medical. Oh, all right, stay with your... ' 371 00:24:50,146 --> 00:24:54,109 For all your mole knows, they may or may not have said that to me. 372 00:24:54,230 --> 00:24:56,268 They may or may not have. 373 00:24:56,392 --> 00:25:00,355 So you faked high blood pressure in order to fail a medical test? 374 00:25:01,157 --> 00:25:02,557 Oh, no. 375 00:25:03,679 --> 00:25:05,239 See you later. 376 00:26:10,826 --> 00:26:12,784 So when are you leaving me? 377 00:26:12,908 --> 00:26:15,220 It probably won't be for quite a while. 378 00:26:15,351 --> 00:26:18,266 Autumn? - Probably not. 379 00:26:19,275 --> 00:26:23,318 Oh. I thought you wanted to go back to university. 380 00:26:23,439 --> 00:26:26,434 Yeah, I will, but there's a slight change of plan. 381 00:26:27,203 --> 00:26:28,603 Oh, right. 382 00:26:30,286 --> 00:26:32,882 David's made me Senior Sales Clerk. 383 00:26:35,891 --> 00:26:37,167 Wow. 384 00:26:38,094 --> 00:26:39,448 Um... 385 00:26:39,575 --> 00:26:42,092 I thought you wanted to be a psychologist. 386 00:26:42,218 --> 00:26:45,099 Oh, yeah. But Senior Sales Clerk is... 387 00:26:45,221 --> 00:26:49,298 Well, it's 500 quid guaranteed extra a year. 388 00:26:49,425 --> 00:26:52,704 If I do a bit of networking, then there's every chance 389 00:26:52,828 --> 00:26:55,789 I could be in David's chair in three years. So... 390 00:26:57,553 --> 00:27:02,234 Um... All that talk about, like, moving on in the world... 391 00:27:02,358 --> 00:27:04,635 No. Moving up. Yeah? Moving up. 392 00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:08,916 Moving up can mean within an internal ladder, framework, 393 00:27:09,044 --> 00:27:11,641 or sideways to external, then up. 394 00:27:11,767 --> 00:27:15,844 You've got to look at the whole pie vis-à-vis my current life situation. 395 00:27:15,971 --> 00:27:17,964 Vis-à...? Pie...? 396 00:27:19,455 --> 00:27:23,087 Which means, of course, that my old job is free. 397 00:27:25,821 --> 00:27:28,018 So, you know... Have a word. 398 00:27:28,144 --> 00:27:29,544 Timothy! 399 00:27:52,288 --> 00:27:56,171 You grow up, you work half a century, you get a golden handshake, 400 00:27:56,292 --> 00:27:58,933 you rest a couple of years, and you're dead. 401 00:27:59,054 --> 00:28:02,448 The only thing that makes that crazy ride worthwhile is 402 00:28:02,578 --> 00:28:06,939 'Did I enjoy it? What was the point?' That's where I come in. 403 00:28:07,062 --> 00:28:10,422 You've seen how I react to people, make them feel good, 404 00:28:10,546 --> 00:28:13,188 make them think that anything's possible. 405 00:28:13,309 --> 00:28:16,030 If I make them laugh along the way, sue me. 406 00:28:17,593 --> 00:28:21,351 I don't do it so they say, 'Thank you for the opportunity. 407 00:28:21,477 --> 00:28:24,790 'Thank you for the wisdom. Thank you for the laughs. ' 408 00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:29,362 I do it so one day, someone will go, 'There goes David Brent. 409 00:28:30,726 --> 00:28:32,605 'I must remember to thank him. ' 410 00:28:33,114 --> 00:28:43,124 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.