1 00:00:31,142 --> 00:00:34,892 - Hello. You all right? - Yeah. Good, thanks. 2 00:00:35,098 --> 00:00:39,053 See that film last night? Denzil washington? 3 00:00:39,254 --> 00:00:42,368 - No. - He's a brilliant actor. 4 00:00:42,570 --> 00:00:45,764 - He's very good. - Oh, dear. 5 00:00:45,967 --> 00:00:48,399 - I like him. - He's great. 6 00:00:49,643 --> 00:00:52,519 - See you later. - See you later. 7 00:00:56,277 --> 00:01:00,107 - He's not my favourite actor of all time. - No? 8 00:01:00,313 --> 00:01:04,507 No. My favourite actor of all time is mr sidney poitier. 9 00:01:05,747 --> 00:01:08,861 - Well. - So... all right? 10 00:01:09,064 --> 00:01:11,655 Yeah. Amazing. 11 00:01:19,254 --> 00:01:23,038 - Gareth, are you building up your wrists? - Yes. 12 00:01:24,089 --> 00:01:27,600 When is the charity wank-athon? 13 00:01:27,805 --> 00:01:31,555 - I don't know, but you'd win it. - That's good. 14 00:01:31,761 --> 00:01:36,194 - Seriously, what are you doing? - Orienteering with the tas. 15 00:01:37,515 --> 00:01:39,266 All right? 16 00:01:40,992 --> 00:01:45,697 - Yeah. I've just come to apologise. - Don't worry about it. 17 00:01:45,907 --> 00:01:50,692 No. I was out of order. I'd had a really bad day. I shouldn't have done it. 18 00:01:50,902 --> 00:01:52,459 Well... 19 00:01:52,660 --> 00:01:56,729 - so we're cool, yeah? - Absolutely. Totally cool. 20 00:01:56,936 --> 00:01:59,448 What's that? Is that for me? 21 00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:01,607 - Yeah. - Cheers. 22 00:02:01,811 --> 00:02:05,164 There's nothing going on between them. 23 00:02:05,368 --> 00:02:10,039 I've been watching him and I imagine you've been watching her, 24 00:02:10,243 --> 00:02:13,312 so between us we've got it covered. 25 00:02:17,675 --> 00:02:22,108 - See you later, mate. - Yeah. Thanks for that. Cheers. 26 00:02:26,546 --> 00:02:30,422 - Probably a bottle of something. - You reckon? 27 00:02:30,622 --> 00:02:32,929 Look at the shape. 28 00:02:36,137 --> 00:02:39,967 Today I'm doing our staff appraisals. 29 00:02:40,173 --> 00:02:43,048 Some people can get nervous - 30 00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:47,921 they think they're putting their head on the block, which is wrong. 31 00:02:48,125 --> 00:02:50,556 They fill out a form in advance 32 00:02:50,762 --> 00:02:56,786 and they don't only list their strengths and weaknesses, but also mine as a boss. 33 00:02:56,996 --> 00:03:01,428 So it's a chance for them to tell me where we're going wrong. 34 00:03:01,631 --> 00:03:06,382 - It's an opportunity... - to separate the wheat from the chaff. 35 00:03:06,586 --> 00:03:11,780 No. That sounds bad. We're not trying to find out who the worst people are. 36 00:03:11,981 --> 00:03:15,413 We know who they are. I've put them on my form. 37 00:03:15,617 --> 00:03:18,175 - No... - I've underlined the worst ones. 38 00:03:18,375 --> 00:03:21,205 You're missing the point. Yeah... 39 00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:26,760 - hello, david. - Here he is. 40 00:03:26,966 --> 00:03:30,477 Tim canterbury. A good man. "The canterbury tales." 41 00:03:31,242 --> 00:03:33,799 - Chaucer. - Yup. 42 00:03:33,999 --> 00:03:35,953 And shakespeare. 43 00:03:38,954 --> 00:03:42,738 Pleased with you. Very proud. New leaf, et cetera. 44 00:03:42,950 --> 00:03:48,224 Trust, encouragement, reward, loyalty, satisfaction. That's what I'm... 45 00:03:48,424 --> 00:03:51,936 wondering why I am so generous with encouragement? 46 00:03:53,579 --> 00:03:56,374 Trust people and they'll be true to you. 47 00:03:56,576 --> 00:04:01,248 Treat them greatly and they will show themselves to be great. 48 00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:04,917 So happier now? No looking back? 49 00:04:05,128 --> 00:04:08,833 I am eventually going to do a psychology degree, but... 50 00:04:09,044 --> 00:04:14,635 no point. No point. Sure, 18-19, go to university, get it out of your system. 51 00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:18,225 Waste time mucking around, getting drunk... 52 00:04:18,434 --> 00:04:22,185 - having casual sex. - But we're in our 30s now. 53 00:04:22,390 --> 00:04:28,698 - I'm only just 30. you're 39? - No. Both in our 30s is the fact. Yeah? 54 00:04:31,461 --> 00:04:38,644 Who's to say? In a few years time, you could be in the hot seat... like me. 55 00:04:38,854 --> 00:04:43,525 - When I'm nearly 40. - We're both in our 30s at the moment. 56 00:04:43,729 --> 00:04:48,798 Just chewing the fat. Good. You're on the right lines. 57 00:04:49,004 --> 00:04:53,914 Can I just...? If we're facing in the right direction, 58 00:04:54,119 --> 00:04:57,790 all we have to do is keep on walking. 59 00:04:59,034 --> 00:05:02,340 Very nice. You're quite a philosopher. 60 00:05:02,550 --> 00:05:06,619 It's just that I think our greatest glory... 61 00:05:06,826 --> 00:05:10,531 is not in never falling, but in rising when we do. 62 00:05:10,742 --> 00:05:13,015 - Are you reading these? - What? 63 00:05:15,098 --> 00:05:17,768 Confucius. Bernard shaw... 64 00:05:17,975 --> 00:05:21,930 it doesn't matter who said them. I'm passing on my wisdom. 65 00:05:22,131 --> 00:05:27,722 Don't tell those I've been reading these. It's an insult. I'll put it down there. 66 00:05:30,922 --> 00:05:33,752 I wanted to be a children's illustrator. 67 00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:36,595 When people asked what I did, I'd say, 68 00:05:36,796 --> 00:05:40,546 "I'm an illustrator, but I do some reception work." 69 00:05:40,752 --> 00:05:44,821 For years I was an illustrator who did some reception work. 70 00:05:45,028 --> 00:05:49,460 Then lee thought we should both get full-time jobs. 71 00:05:49,663 --> 00:05:54,812 Then you're knackered after work and it's hard to do illustrating. 72 00:05:55,018 --> 00:05:59,803 Now, when people ask what I do, I say, "I'm a receptionist." 73 00:06:03,050 --> 00:06:05,481 And a bloody good one. 74 00:06:05,687 --> 00:06:09,915 You'll always have the art. Keep up the doodling always. 75 00:06:10,123 --> 00:06:14,158 - Pipe dreams are good. - I still hope it will happen. 76 00:06:14,358 --> 00:06:20,144 Keep the dream alive because otherwise you'll go, "could I have made it?" 77 00:06:20,352 --> 00:06:26,058 If you keep trying, when it doesn't happen, you can go, "at least I gave it a go." 78 00:06:26,266 --> 00:06:28,732 You know? 79 00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:36,484 - Are you settling in all right? - Yeah. 80 00:06:36,696 --> 00:06:39,128 - Having fun? - Yeah. 81 00:06:39,333 --> 00:06:43,005 As much fun as you can have at wernham-hogg. 82 00:06:43,209 --> 00:06:48,961 - How long were you at swindon? - Two years. 83 00:06:49,164 --> 00:06:52,596 If you had to name a role model... 84 00:06:53,719 --> 00:06:55,673 who would it be? 85 00:06:55,877 --> 00:07:01,946 - Like a historical person? - No, just someone in general life. 86 00:07:02,151 --> 00:07:08,583 There's my mum. She's strong, calm in the face of adversity. 87 00:07:08,784 --> 00:07:12,091 I remember when she had a hysterectomy... 88 00:07:12,300 --> 00:07:17,528 if it wasn't your mother, though. It doesn't even have to be a woman. 89 00:07:17,735 --> 00:07:22,724 A man? Ok. I suppose if it was a man it'd be my father. 90 00:07:22,930 --> 00:07:29,079 Not your father. Take your parents as read. I mean someone in the work-related arena. 91 00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:33,068 Right. Ok. I suppose tim, then. He's always... 92 00:07:33,279 --> 00:07:37,791 he's a friend. Not a friend. Someone in authority. 93 00:07:37,995 --> 00:07:43,110 - Then, I suppose Jennifer. - We said not a woman. Or am I...? 94 00:07:43,309 --> 00:07:48,503 Er... ok. I suppose you're the only one who... 95 00:07:49,863 --> 00:07:54,613 embarrassing. It's backfired. Oh, dear. Very flattering. 96 00:07:54,818 --> 00:07:57,568 - Can we put me as a...? - Ok. Tim, then. 97 00:07:57,775 --> 00:08:00,445 - We said not tim. Do you want me? - Ok. 98 00:08:00,652 --> 00:08:03,607 - So shall I put "strong role model"? - Ok. 99 00:08:16,316 --> 00:08:20,351 Just a drill. Do not panic. 100 00:08:20,552 --> 00:08:25,667 - He's trained. Good man. - Come on, people, let's get moving. 101 00:08:25,867 --> 00:08:29,299 - I'd be the last one out. - Do not run and do not panic. 102 00:08:29,503 --> 00:08:35,094 That's just what I do. We do these every couple of months. 103 00:08:35,297 --> 00:08:41,560 Even though I'm always cool in a situation like this, some people are not, 104 00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:44,566 and so I try to make sure... I'll do that. 105 00:08:44,768 --> 00:08:48,200 - We were... - no, no. I've got it. 106 00:08:50,482 --> 00:08:52,914 I'm going to get you out of here. 107 00:09:03,469 --> 00:09:07,663 The lifts... are out of bounds... in a fire... situation, 108 00:09:07,865 --> 00:09:11,331 so the important thing is... put her down. 109 00:09:14,098 --> 00:09:16,564 This isn't worth it. It's stupid. 110 00:09:16,776 --> 00:09:20,651 This is just a drill, so we can leave her here. 111 00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:24,602 - Can't I use the lift? - No, not even in a drill. 112 00:09:24,808 --> 00:09:27,160 We won't be a minute. 113 00:09:48,104 --> 00:09:52,013 I've got no problem with him visiting every child in a night, 114 00:09:52,220 --> 00:09:56,732 but I can't believe he stands in barnardo's arguing with old women. 115 00:09:58,134 --> 00:10:02,601 I don't know if you're aware of the situation that's arising here. 116 00:10:02,810 --> 00:10:07,754 I usually steer clear of ladies at work, but there's someone I've got my eye on. 117 00:10:07,965 --> 00:10:11,920 I won't say who. I don't know what tim's playing at. 118 00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:16,951 He embarrassed himself asking dawn out and this will end in tears. 119 00:10:17,155 --> 00:10:20,622 Whereas I, you probably notice, play it cool. 120 00:10:20,832 --> 00:10:24,264 He's not a man of the world like me. 121 00:10:25,267 --> 00:10:29,222 I can read women. You've got to know their needs. 122 00:10:29,423 --> 00:10:34,094 That can be making sure she's got enough money to buy groceries 123 00:10:34,298 --> 00:10:39,048 or making sure she's gratified sexually after intercourse. 124 00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:01,347 You were using all your best lines on rachel. 125 00:11:01,551 --> 00:11:04,301 Best lines! Just being friendly. 126 00:11:04,508 --> 00:11:08,099 It was friendly, but more than. 127 00:11:08,304 --> 00:11:10,736 - More than? - Friendly. 128 00:11:15,217 --> 00:11:20,206 Under "strengths", you've just put "accounts". 129 00:11:20,412 --> 00:11:21,923 Yeah. 130 00:11:24,408 --> 00:11:27,715 That's your job, though. That's just... 131 00:11:27,924 --> 00:11:34,471 keith. I'm looking for skills within your job. Is there anything else you can put? 132 00:11:38,154 --> 00:11:40,108 - No. - Ok. 133 00:11:41,791 --> 00:11:44,746 Under "weaknesses", you've put "eczema". 134 00:11:49,023 --> 00:11:52,092 You had a fantastically welcoming buffet. 135 00:11:52,300 --> 00:11:56,687 - The wine was something else. - Everyone's quite friendly. 136 00:11:56,895 --> 00:12:01,646 - Everyone's... and tim seems nice. - Yeah. He's a good laugh. 137 00:12:02,969 --> 00:12:07,356 I've just got to... has he got a girlfriend? 138 00:12:07,565 --> 00:12:10,713 - Tim? No. - Why? What's up? 139 00:12:10,921 --> 00:12:14,797 - Nothing. - Why? Would you? 140 00:12:14,997 --> 00:12:18,270 Mm? Out of the equation. 141 00:12:18,474 --> 00:12:21,508 I know, but if you weren't, would he...? 142 00:12:21,711 --> 00:12:24,700 If I weren't? Madness. 143 00:12:28,384 --> 00:12:32,817 You've left this section blank. You haven't done the q&a. 144 00:12:33,019 --> 00:12:37,452 - I thought you filled that in. - No. This is aimed at you. 145 00:12:37,655 --> 00:12:43,519 "To what extent do you believe that you have the skills to perform your job effectively?" 146 00:12:43,729 --> 00:12:48,798 You tick the boxes. "not at all. To some extent. Very much so. Don't know." 147 00:12:49,003 --> 00:12:52,878 - What would you tick? - Don't know. 148 00:12:54,158 --> 00:12:55,670 Ok. 149 00:12:57,635 --> 00:13:03,704 "Do you feel you have received adequate training to use your computer effectively?" 150 00:13:08,424 --> 00:13:12,538 - What are the options? - They're always the same. 151 00:13:12,740 --> 00:13:16,092 "Not at all. To some extent. Very much so. Don't know." 152 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:19,569 - Don't know. - Don't know again. Ok. 153 00:13:21,091 --> 00:13:26,604 "Do you feel you are given the flexibility to decide how to accomplish your goals?" 154 00:13:30,722 --> 00:13:32,676 - Do you want the options? - Yeah. 155 00:13:32,879 --> 00:13:36,152 "Not at all. To some extent..." always the same. 156 00:13:36,356 --> 00:13:38,504 - "Very much so. Don't know." - Don't know. 157 00:13:38,714 --> 00:13:42,464 If "don't know" wasn't there, what would you put? 158 00:13:47,105 --> 00:13:50,378 - What are the options? - "Not at all. To some extent. 159 00:13:50,582 --> 00:13:53,139 - "Very much so. Don't know." - Very much so. 160 00:13:53,339 --> 00:13:55,293 - Do you remember the question? - No. 161 00:13:55,497 --> 00:13:58,929 "Do you...?" we're going to leave that. 162 00:14:04,248 --> 00:14:10,556 Just going to give the new swindon lot a... it's not an appraisal as such, but... 163 00:14:13,719 --> 00:14:19,310 - sorry. Just showing them... - keep them occupied before the main event. 164 00:14:19,513 --> 00:14:24,263 I hope you warmed them up better than last time! Doesn't look like it. 165 00:14:24,468 --> 00:14:29,093 - Ok. See you later. - See you. Bye. 166 00:14:29,303 --> 00:14:32,928 Anyway... good. Hello. 167 00:14:34,498 --> 00:14:38,692 I can't give you an appraisal - you've only been here a week - 168 00:14:38,893 --> 00:14:41,882 but I wanted to see how you're settling in. 169 00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:49,152 I know it's not the same vibe you're used to. Neil ruled with more of an iron fist. 170 00:14:49,363 --> 00:14:52,113 Settling in? Having a good time? 171 00:14:55,077 --> 00:14:57,225 How is it different? 172 00:14:58,434 --> 00:15:01,309 More laid back, presumably. 173 00:15:01,511 --> 00:15:06,102 - Think it's more laid back? Yeah? - Yeah... 174 00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:10,056 say yes, then, if it's more laid back. More fun. 175 00:15:10,262 --> 00:15:11,852 - Well... - eh? 176 00:15:12,060 --> 00:15:14,014 - Nothing. - Go on. 177 00:15:14,218 --> 00:15:20,481 We're actually used to doing stuff, like working hard, being motivated. 178 00:15:20,691 --> 00:15:25,124 There's not much dynamism. People get away with murder. 179 00:15:25,327 --> 00:15:29,713 - Having a laugh, yes. - Quite a few of us are bored. 180 00:15:29,922 --> 00:15:32,672 What, you prefer swindon? 181 00:15:34,198 --> 00:15:37,709 - More of a laugh. - You're having a laugh saying that. 182 00:15:37,914 --> 00:15:40,709 What's so good about swindon? Neil? 183 00:15:40,911 --> 00:15:43,980 - Yeah, for one. - You prefer neil to me? 184 00:15:46,745 --> 00:15:49,576 Who thinks neil's more of a laugh than me? 185 00:15:50,462 --> 00:15:55,167 That's mental! Come off it. You... 186 00:15:55,377 --> 00:16:00,048 come out for a drink with me and see who's more of a laugh. 187 00:16:00,252 --> 00:16:03,684 We'll go for a drink lunchtime. Right. 188 00:16:06,406 --> 00:16:10,600 Right. Here we are. There's an outing, lunchtime. 189 00:16:10,801 --> 00:16:15,507 Show them what the slough lot are like. Keith, what are you doing lunchtime? 190 00:16:21,870 --> 00:16:25,984 Welcome to alcoholic's anonymous! No. Purely social. 191 00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:31,175 I know an alcoholic and it's no laughing matter - particularly for his wife. 192 00:16:31,381 --> 00:16:35,006 She's got alopecia, so not a happy home life. 193 00:16:35,217 --> 00:16:38,683 Their eldest is like dustin hoffman in "rain man". 194 00:16:38,893 --> 00:16:42,882 That probably turned him to it in the first place. 195 00:16:43,089 --> 00:16:45,600 Looking forward to the weekend? 196 00:16:45,806 --> 00:16:48,318 - Yeah. - Cheers. 197 00:16:50,122 --> 00:16:53,111 That's a lovely drop. That's courage. 198 00:16:53,319 --> 00:16:58,263 You get a lot of that round here because the main brewery's in reading. 199 00:16:58,474 --> 00:17:01,269 They do it in london too. 200 00:17:02,629 --> 00:17:07,176 What's the brewery in swindon? Is there a big...? 201 00:17:07,385 --> 00:17:10,817 - It might be courage actually. - Dunno. 202 00:17:11,021 --> 00:17:14,374 No. This is all right, though, isn't it? 203 00:17:15,497 --> 00:17:19,247 - Nice pub... eh? - Just a private joke. 204 00:17:19,453 --> 00:17:24,885 I was saying this is nice. There's a lovely pub near me - the gardener's arms. 205 00:17:25,087 --> 00:17:30,599 - What are you doing? - That bloke looks like someone we know. 206 00:17:30,801 --> 00:17:36,234 Ok. One at a time. Focus. You'll get more out of it in the long run, I promise. 207 00:17:41,670 --> 00:17:45,705 I forgot what I was saying. That's what happens when you... 208 00:17:47,225 --> 00:17:48,815 courage... 209 00:17:50,182 --> 00:17:52,534 - three points. - Don't do that on my head. 210 00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:59,332 - Unless you've changed into a dartboard. - The dartboard makes no difference to you. 211 00:17:59,532 --> 00:18:02,124 I could sit here and still get 180. 212 00:18:02,330 --> 00:18:06,319 - Hiya. You all right? - Straight. 213 00:18:06,525 --> 00:18:09,992 A couple of my mates are going down to yates's... 214 00:18:10,202 --> 00:18:15,953 - the wine lodge? Classy. Joking. - I was wondering if you'd like to come. 215 00:18:16,156 --> 00:18:19,270 Or not. And you, dawn. Bring lee. 216 00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:23,939 - I don't think we can... - ok. You can come? 217 00:18:24,148 --> 00:18:27,693 - Yeah, I can. - Great. Ok. 218 00:18:27,904 --> 00:18:31,416 - Tonight? - Yeah. Just after work. 219 00:18:31,620 --> 00:18:34,495 - Have a couple of drinks, yeah. - Cool. 220 00:18:34,697 --> 00:18:38,130 - Ok. See you later. - See you in a bit. 221 00:18:40,292 --> 00:18:43,837 - That'll be fun. - Yeah. Yes. 222 00:18:44,048 --> 00:18:47,117 It'll be cool. Cool as a cucumber. 223 00:19:11,820 --> 00:19:14,775 - Good? - It was all right. 224 00:19:18,893 --> 00:19:20,882 I've eaten here, so... 225 00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:25,961 if you want a really good pie - the gardeners. 226 00:19:34,038 --> 00:19:40,267 It's been a washout, hasn't it? If no one else is going to make the effort. 227 00:19:40,471 --> 00:19:42,539 - We have made the effort. - Eh? 228 00:19:42,749 --> 00:19:47,499 - We have made the effort. - Yeah. I'm not having a go at you. 229 00:19:47,704 --> 00:19:52,693 Obviously the best people haven't come. I'm going back to the office. 230 00:19:54,298 --> 00:19:56,252 See you later. 231 00:20:04,368 --> 00:20:06,118 - Come on, neil. - All right. 232 00:20:06,326 --> 00:20:08,678 - Gareth. - Nearly. 233 00:20:13,638 --> 00:20:16,104 - What are you doing? - Having a laugh. 234 00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:20,907 You could have had a laugh in the pub. Dangerous, isn't it? 235 00:20:21,111 --> 00:20:26,577 - You should work. It's quarter past two. - All right. We're just finishing off. 236 00:20:26,785 --> 00:20:32,218 Just want to be popular as the new boss. Oh, love me! Pathetic! 237 00:20:41,850 --> 00:20:46,919 I think we should call it a day there. Do you mind putting those away? 238 00:20:47,125 --> 00:20:49,875 Guys, can we go back to work? 239 00:20:52,399 --> 00:20:55,150 - David, can I have a word? - If you want. 240 00:20:55,356 --> 00:20:58,584 Obviously you've got a problem, what is it? 241 00:20:58,793 --> 00:21:01,907 No. Time for work, wasn't it? 242 00:21:02,110 --> 00:21:07,497 If you don't want to say, fine, but don't speak to me like that in front of staff. 243 00:21:07,704 --> 00:21:10,216 - You're acting like a petulant kid. - Yeah. 244 00:21:11,380 --> 00:21:16,893 Don't stand out there and embarrass me and yourself, because I will not stand for it. 245 00:21:17,095 --> 00:21:20,879 I've been trying to deal with this situation delicately 246 00:21:21,091 --> 00:21:26,114 because I was embarrassed that I'm now your boss, but you have to live with it. 247 00:21:26,325 --> 00:21:32,031 I don't let anyone talk to me like that and certainly not you. Do you understand? 248 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:35,353 Do you understand? Good. 249 00:21:35,556 --> 00:21:41,103 You're a good bloke, dave, and if there's a problem I'd rather discuss it sensibly. 250 00:21:41,310 --> 00:21:43,265 Shake on it? 251 00:21:43,468 --> 00:21:45,422 Great. Thank you. 252 00:21:54,457 --> 00:21:58,890 - I'll see you guys later. Take care. - Cheers, neil. 253 00:22:07,524 --> 00:22:10,831 - Did you hear any of that conversation? - No. 254 00:22:11,041 --> 00:22:14,427 I had it out with neil. He showed his true colours. 255 00:22:14,637 --> 00:22:17,103 He seems like a good bloke. 256 00:22:17,314 --> 00:22:22,179 I'd better not say anything, then. Watch your back. Slagging you off. 257 00:22:22,389 --> 00:22:24,776 - Slagging you off. - Me personally? 258 00:22:24,987 --> 00:22:28,817 - Just me? - Yeah. And you. Slagging all you lot off. 259 00:22:29,023 --> 00:22:32,728 - What's he saying? - Saying you lot were rubbish. 260 00:22:32,939 --> 00:22:36,484 I was going, "your swindon lot are shit." 261 00:22:36,695 --> 00:22:40,650 - He got aggressive and I went berserk. - Did you hit him? 262 00:22:40,851 --> 00:22:45,442 - He'd have come through that wall. - He's pretty trim, mate. 263 00:22:45,646 --> 00:22:47,953 Yeah? Against karate? 264 00:22:48,164 --> 00:22:52,630 - What did he actually say about us? - Just slagging you lot off. 265 00:22:52,839 --> 00:22:57,033 I went, "your swindon lot are little slugs with no personality. 266 00:22:57,234 --> 00:23:00,507 "You're jealous that we're better at everything." 267 00:23:00,711 --> 00:23:04,905 If it did kick off with him, I don't want you lot getting hurt. 268 00:23:05,107 --> 00:23:08,539 - I'd step in. - This is big boy shit, mate. 269 00:23:08,743 --> 00:23:13,176 Hit him above the ears because the vacuum in the brain kills instantly. 270 00:23:13,378 --> 00:23:17,526 I'd want to keep the twat alive with the shit I was going to pull. 271 00:23:29,602 --> 00:23:31,875 - All right? - Hello. 272 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:35,114 - You don't have a boyfriend, do you? - No. 273 00:23:35,316 --> 00:23:39,544 - Any kids from previous marriages? - No. 274 00:23:39,752 --> 00:23:45,696 - Would you like to come out for a drink? - I can't. I'm going to go out with tim. 275 00:23:45,906 --> 00:23:47,974 - Tonight? - Yeah. 276 00:23:48,183 --> 00:23:51,014 - Can I come? - Not really. 277 00:23:52,060 --> 00:23:56,049 - You're not going to get off with him? - It's not your business. 278 00:23:56,255 --> 00:24:02,324 Sorry. It's none of my business. Go and have a drink, by all means. Enjoy yourself. 279 00:24:02,529 --> 00:24:06,803 If you don't go all the way with tim, I will still be interested. 280 00:24:07,005 --> 00:24:10,994 Thanks. Good to know I have something to fall back on. 281 00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:14,951 What if I go all the way with tim but want more with you? 282 00:24:16,555 --> 00:24:19,113 I don't usually do sloppy seconds, 283 00:24:19,312 --> 00:24:25,098 but I judge things on individual merit, so we'll cross that river when we come to it. 284 00:24:25,306 --> 00:24:28,773 - Thanks. That's good to know. - No problem. 285 00:24:33,099 --> 00:24:36,849 - One in the kettle? - Yeah. It's just boiled. 286 00:24:37,055 --> 00:24:40,123 One amendment. If you do go all the way with tim 287 00:24:40,331 --> 00:24:45,684 and you expect me to go in there afterwards, make sure he wears a condom. 288 00:24:45,886 --> 00:24:47,840 It's sort of a rule. 289 00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:54,427 - Is there any milk? - Yeah. In the fridge. 290 00:25:05,786 --> 00:25:08,377 - See ya. - See you later, mate. 291 00:25:12,020 --> 00:25:14,770 - You going home? - Yup. 292 00:25:20,451 --> 00:25:22,917 - That's for you. - Cheers. 293 00:25:23,128 --> 00:25:26,197 Can you call neilson's... 294 00:25:26,405 --> 00:25:32,315 and get that credit rate faxed over or emailed or whatever? 295 00:25:32,519 --> 00:25:33,837 Sure. 296 00:25:34,038 --> 00:25:39,664 And do you mind typing up those appraisal contracts? 297 00:25:39,872 --> 00:25:42,429 - Sure. See you monday. - See you. 298 00:25:42,629 --> 00:25:47,459 Dawn, I'm fed up. I'm fed up, to be honest. It's just... 299 00:25:47,664 --> 00:25:52,528 - why? - I think this place is a right shit hole. 300 00:25:52,739 --> 00:25:54,853 - Do you? - Yeah. 301 00:25:58,973 --> 00:26:04,325 - Do you think I'm funny? - Mmm. Yup. 302 00:26:04,527 --> 00:26:07,482 Do you think neil's funny? Sit down. 303 00:26:08,843 --> 00:26:13,309 Do I think neil's funny? I don't really know him, david. 304 00:26:13,518 --> 00:26:17,473 - But he's not funnier than me? - Definitely not. 305 00:26:17,674 --> 00:26:23,300 I wish you'd tell that to the swindon lot - miserable bunch of... aren't they? Boring. 306 00:26:27,024 --> 00:26:30,900 What's your favourite stuff that I do, comedy-wise? 307 00:26:31,100 --> 00:26:35,453 Um... oh, there's too much. 308 00:26:35,656 --> 00:26:38,087 - The impressions? - Yeah. 309 00:26:38,293 --> 00:26:44,476 - Which ones? - Er... which ones are there again? 310 00:26:44,687 --> 00:26:46,641 - Kermit? - Brilliant. 311 00:26:46,845 --> 00:26:51,118 "Welcome to the er muppet show." "Hai-ya, frog!" 312 00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:55,070 Miss piggy. Do you know kermit's nephew, robin? 313 00:27:00,231 --> 00:27:04,186 - do you do gonzo? - No. Do you want a beer? 314 00:27:04,387 --> 00:27:10,456 - Er... I can't go to the pub. - I've got some here ready. 315 00:27:10,661 --> 00:27:12,934 For emergencies. 316 00:27:19,612 --> 00:27:21,407 Cheers. 317 00:27:26,964 --> 00:27:29,351 I was looking through... 318 00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:33,154 some old poems I used to do. 319 00:27:33,358 --> 00:27:35,824 - Oh? I didn't know. - Yeah. 320 00:27:36,035 --> 00:27:41,707 - What sort of...? - Quite sort of... powerful. Here's one. 321 00:27:41,910 --> 00:27:46,342 Shall I read one to you? This one's called "excalibur". 322 00:27:48,143 --> 00:27:53,735 "I froze your tears and made a dagger and stabbed it in my cock forever. 323 00:27:53,937 --> 00:27:58,404 "It stays there like excalibur. Are you my arthur? Say you are." 324 00:27:58,613 --> 00:28:01,999 - Good... - "take this cool, dark, steeled blade. 325 00:28:02,209 --> 00:28:05,403 "Steal it, sheath it in your lake. 326 00:28:05,606 --> 00:28:11,550 "I'd drown with you to be together. Must you breathe? 'cause I need heaven." 327 00:28:15,955 --> 00:28:19,228 - Um... it's powerful. - Very. 328 00:28:19,432 --> 00:28:22,182 - Did you get the double meanings? - I did. 329 00:29:01,155 --> 00:29:11,145 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org