1
00:00:01,074 --> 00:00:02,041
It is Friday morning.

2
00:00:02,043 --> 00:00:03,876
And it is another beautiful day

3
00:00:03,878 --> 00:00:07,312
in Scranton, Pennsylvania.

4
00:00:08,481 --> 00:00:10,482
Oh, my God.

5
00:00:11,584 --> 00:00:12,684
Oh!

6
00:00:15,622 --> 00:00:19,058
Pick up, pick up,
pick up, pick up.

7
00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:22,161
Oh, we have
a serious problem here.

8
00:00:22,163 --> 00:00:23,195
All right, everybody.

9
00:00:23,197 --> 00:00:24,596
Lock the doors.
Turn off the lights.

10
00:00:24,598 --> 00:00:25,731
Pretend you're not here.

11
00:00:25,733 --> 00:00:27,566
Are we in danger?

12
00:00:28,535 --> 00:00:31,603
There's no time to think
about it. This is real.

13
00:00:31,605 --> 00:00:34,006
Just shh, everybody.

14
00:00:38,979 --> 00:00:40,879
Michael, should I call the...

15
00:00:40,881 --> 00:00:42,981
What?

16
00:00:42,983 --> 00:00:45,350
The I.T. tech guy and me

17
00:00:45,352 --> 00:00:48,720
did not get off
to a great start.

18
00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:56,114
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

19
00:01:22,222 --> 00:01:24,156
Yeah, I tried
to install it myself,

20
00:01:24,158 --> 00:01:25,891
but you guys have these things

21
00:01:25,893 --> 00:01:28,293
so password-protected.

22
00:01:28,295 --> 00:01:30,229
That just means you
have to enter your password.

23
00:01:30,231 --> 00:01:31,530
Uh...

24
00:01:31,532 --> 00:01:33,499
What's your password, Michael?

25
00:01:33,501 --> 00:01:35,434
Um, it's...

26
00:01:35,436 --> 00:01:38,604
Oh. 1, 2, 3, 4.
Yes.

27
00:01:45,445 --> 00:01:47,980
Michael...
Aah! Gah!

28
00:01:47,982 --> 00:01:49,681
Please don't do that.

29
00:01:49,683 --> 00:01:51,116
Okay, I'm sorry.
What is going on in there?

30
00:01:51,118 --> 00:01:53,685
Why is he here?
What are you doing?

31
00:01:53,687 --> 00:01:54,953
I can't tell you.

32
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You have to tell me.

33
00:01:56,056 --> 00:01:57,222
I don't have
to tell you anything.

34
00:01:57,224 --> 00:01:59,291
Look, Michael.

35
00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:01,393
I know you don't want to
have to think about this,

36
00:02:01,395 --> 00:02:02,761
but if something were
to happen to you,

37
00:02:02,763 --> 00:02:04,863
God forbid, then I would
need to know

38
00:02:04,865 --> 00:02:06,165
in order to take over.

39
00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:07,533
Dwight, nothing is
gonna happen to me. Okay?

40
00:02:07,535 --> 00:02:08,700
I'm in the best shape
of my life.

41
00:02:08,702 --> 00:02:10,035
Look at at this. Grr!

42
00:02:10,037 --> 00:02:11,036
Yeah, but that doesn't matter.

43
00:02:11,038 --> 00:02:12,304
You could get a brain aneurysm.

44
00:02:12,306 --> 00:02:13,539
I'm not gonna...
Or hit by a car.

45
00:02:13,541 --> 00:02:15,040
Stop.
Or a bus or a train.

46
00:02:15,042 --> 00:02:16,475
You could get poisoned.
Fall down a well.

47
00:02:16,477 --> 00:02:18,010
Step on a mine. Choke.

48
00:02:18,012 --> 00:02:20,379
Okay, if I step on a mine
in Scranton, Pennsylvania,

49
00:02:20,381 --> 00:02:22,114
and die, you can have
my job. Okay?

50
00:02:22,116 --> 00:02:24,016
Why don't you just go away?

51
00:02:24,018 --> 00:02:25,250
There are certain things

52
00:02:25,252 --> 00:02:27,886
a boss does not share
with his employees.

53
00:02:27,888 --> 00:02:30,889
His salary.
That would depress them.

54
00:02:30,891 --> 00:02:32,624
His bed.

55
00:02:34,527 --> 00:02:38,030
And I am not going to tell them

56
00:02:38,032 --> 00:02:39,665
that I'll be reading
their e-mails.

57
00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:42,301
So how do you search?

58
00:02:42,303 --> 00:02:44,469
By keyword phrase.

59
00:02:44,471 --> 00:02:46,672
Try profits.

60
00:02:46,674 --> 00:02:48,807
No, try Michael Scott.

61
00:02:48,809 --> 00:02:52,678
Michael, boss, and funny.

62
00:02:55,516 --> 00:02:58,884
Oh, my God! Wow!

63
00:02:58,886 --> 00:03:00,285
E-mail from Stanley.

64
00:03:00,287 --> 00:03:02,921
Stanley.
Terribly nice guy.

65
00:03:02,923 --> 00:03:04,356
"Sorry I didn't
write back sooner.

66
00:03:04,358 --> 00:03:05,457
"I can't go to the game tonight

67
00:03:05,459 --> 00:03:06,992
"because my boss
Michael is an ass

68
00:03:06,994 --> 00:03:08,193
and making
me stay late."

69
00:03:08,195 --> 00:03:10,662
Well, Stanley's an ass.

70
00:03:10,664 --> 00:03:12,431
Not one of our harder workers.

71
00:03:18,204 --> 00:03:19,838
Hey, what's the deal, Michael?

72
00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:21,206
Why are you spying
on our computers?

73
00:03:21,208 --> 00:03:23,041
Oh, no!

74
00:03:23,043 --> 00:03:24,977
Everybody, Oscar's gone crazy.

75
00:03:24,979 --> 00:03:26,878
What other ghost stories
do you have for us?

76
00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:30,115
That I'm a robot?

77
00:03:30,117 --> 00:03:33,418
I will destroy
everything in my path.

78
00:03:33,420 --> 00:03:34,453
Actually, we just...

79
00:03:34,455 --> 00:03:37,256
Boop! Beep! Bop!

80
00:03:37,258 --> 00:03:38,890
Okay.
Bonk!

81
00:03:38,892 --> 00:03:42,027
Boop boop. Oil can.

82
00:03:42,029 --> 00:03:44,730
Oil can.

83
00:03:44,732 --> 00:03:46,231
Tin Man.

84
00:03:46,233 --> 00:03:48,734
Actually we just got
a memo from I.T.

85
00:03:48,736 --> 00:03:50,502
saying you're doing
e-mail surveillance.

86
00:03:50,504 --> 00:03:53,238
Oh, what? No, that defeats
the whole purpose.

87
00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:55,440
So it's true? You have
access to our e-mails?

88
00:03:55,442 --> 00:03:56,475
You know what the problem is?

89
00:03:56,477 --> 00:03:57,609
I think I do.

90
00:03:57,611 --> 00:03:59,478
The problem is that when people

91
00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:01,480
hear the term "Big Brother"

92
00:04:01,482 --> 00:04:04,316
they immediately think
it's scary or bad.

93
00:04:04,318 --> 00:04:07,486
But I don't. I think,
"Wow. I love my Big Brother."

94
00:04:07,488 --> 00:04:10,422
I gotta erase a lot of stuff.

95
00:04:10,424 --> 00:04:13,659
A lot of stuff.

96
00:04:13,661 --> 00:04:15,894
Oh, hey.
Just so you know.

97
00:04:15,896 --> 00:04:17,763
If you have
any sensitive e-mails,

98
00:04:17,765 --> 00:04:20,098
they need to be
deleted immediately.

99
00:04:20,100 --> 00:04:21,099
I know.

100
00:04:21,101 --> 00:04:22,634
Good.

101
00:04:24,837 --> 00:04:25,971
Hey.

102
00:04:29,742 --> 00:04:31,076
Something just happened.

103
00:04:31,078 --> 00:04:33,645
Dwight just told Angela
that she has to delete

104
00:04:33,647 --> 00:04:35,814
all of her sensitive
e-mails immediately.

105
00:04:35,816 --> 00:04:38,116
What?
I know.

106
00:04:38,118 --> 00:04:39,551
Hmm.

107
00:04:39,553 --> 00:04:40,819
Do you think
that they're like...

108
00:04:40,821 --> 00:04:42,654
No.
Right, no.

109
00:04:42,656 --> 00:04:45,290
Ugh! Ew.

110
00:04:45,292 --> 00:04:46,425
Ew, ew, ew.

111
00:04:48,528 --> 00:04:49,661
Maybe.

112
00:04:49,663 --> 00:04:53,365
It's like squishing a spider
under a book.

113
00:04:53,367 --> 00:04:56,468
It's gonna be really gross,
but I have to look

114
00:04:56,470 --> 00:04:59,071
and make sure
that it's really dead.

115
00:04:59,073 --> 00:05:03,075
So if you guys see anything...

116
00:05:03,077 --> 00:05:05,477
Hey, Dwight? Um...

117
00:05:05,479 --> 00:05:07,212
My friend is kind of into

118
00:05:07,214 --> 00:05:08,747
these two girls
that he works with.

119
00:05:08,749 --> 00:05:11,783
Nice.
One is tall and brunette.

120
00:05:11,785 --> 00:05:15,087
And the other one
is short and blonde

121
00:05:15,089 --> 00:05:18,190
and perky
and kind of judgmental.

122
00:05:18,192 --> 00:05:19,991
Who do you think
he should choose?

123
00:05:21,294 --> 00:05:24,496
Does he have access
to their medical records?

124
00:05:24,498 --> 00:05:25,864
Um...

125
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:30,168
I think one of the greatest
things about modern America

126
00:05:30,170 --> 00:05:32,637
is the computerization
of medical records.

127
00:05:32,639 --> 00:05:34,373
As a volunteer sheriff,
I can look up

128
00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:38,477
anyone's psychiatric records
or surgical histories.

129
00:05:38,479 --> 00:05:40,145
Yeast infections.

130
00:05:40,147 --> 00:05:42,314
There are huge number

131
00:05:42,316 --> 00:05:44,015
of yeast infections
in this county.

132
00:05:45,651 --> 00:05:49,888
Probably because
we're down river

133
00:05:49,890 --> 00:05:52,124
from that old bread factory.

134
00:05:52,126 --> 00:05:55,127
Meredith has an E-vite

135
00:05:55,129 --> 00:05:56,862
from Jim.

136
00:05:56,864 --> 00:05:59,865
"Barbecue at Jim's tonight."

137
00:05:59,867 --> 00:06:03,935
Tonight? Wonder where
my e-vitation is?

138
00:06:03,937 --> 00:06:05,604
Click on guest list.

139
00:06:05,606 --> 00:06:07,672
Angela. Stanley. Oscar.

140
00:06:07,674 --> 00:06:12,577
Meredith. Phyllis.
Kevin. Creed.

141
00:06:12,579 --> 00:06:14,179
Must be...

142
00:06:16,215 --> 00:06:18,116
No.

143
00:06:23,122 --> 00:06:25,257
Hey, Angela.
How's it going?

144
00:06:25,259 --> 00:06:26,758
It's okay.

145
00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:27,993
Listen, are you bringing anyone

146
00:06:27,995 --> 00:06:29,327
to Jim's party tonight?

147
00:06:29,329 --> 00:06:30,896
No. Are we supposed to?

148
00:06:30,898 --> 00:06:33,899
No. I mean I don't know.
I don't think so.

149
00:06:33,901 --> 00:06:36,535
Hmm. Excuse me.

150
00:06:36,537 --> 00:06:38,103
Oh.

151
00:06:49,382 --> 00:06:51,483
There's always a distance

152
00:06:51,485 --> 00:06:53,518
between a boss
and the employees.

153
00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:56,621
It is just nature's rule.

154
00:06:56,623 --> 00:06:58,523
It's intimidation, mostly.

155
00:06:58,525 --> 00:07:01,092
It's the awareness
that they are not me.

156
00:07:01,094 --> 00:07:05,263
I do think that
I am very approachable

157
00:07:05,265 --> 00:07:08,333
as one of the guys.

158
00:07:08,335 --> 00:07:10,669
But maybe I need to be
even approachabler.

159
00:07:12,238 --> 00:07:13,805
Ahem.

160
00:07:13,807 --> 00:07:15,507
That's pretty, um...
Yeah.

161
00:07:17,510 --> 00:07:19,110
Are you gonna eat with us?

162
00:07:19,112 --> 00:07:20,579
Of course.

163
00:07:20,581 --> 00:07:21,813
Hanging with my crew.

164
00:07:21,815 --> 00:07:24,182
Crew that I am one of.

165
00:07:24,184 --> 00:07:28,420
Hanging with my Cup of Noodles.

166
00:07:28,422 --> 00:07:30,589
This is a meal in a cup
right here.

167
00:07:30,591 --> 00:07:32,958
Hot, tasty.
Reminds me of college.

168
00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:36,495
Lived on this stuff.
Brain food. Mmm.

169
00:07:36,497 --> 00:07:38,830
You know what I really,
really miss about college?

170
00:07:38,832 --> 00:07:41,500
The parties.
Everybody'd go.

171
00:07:41,502 --> 00:07:45,003
The athletes. The nerds.
The professors.

172
00:07:45,005 --> 00:07:47,105
The professors would
go to the parties?

173
00:07:47,107 --> 00:07:50,442
Yeah. They were the most fun.

174
00:07:50,444 --> 00:07:52,444
We always invited them.

175
00:07:54,847 --> 00:07:57,048
It's true.
I'm having a party.

176
00:07:57,050 --> 00:08:00,051
I've got three cases
of imported beer.

177
00:08:00,053 --> 00:08:01,786
Karaoke machine.

178
00:08:01,788 --> 00:08:03,989
And I didn't invite Michael.

179
00:08:03,991 --> 00:08:06,558
So three ingredients
for a great party.

180
00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:08,026
And it's nothing personal.

181
00:08:08,028 --> 00:08:09,427
I just think if he were there,

182
00:08:09,429 --> 00:08:10,629
people wouldn't be able
to relax.

183
00:08:10,631 --> 00:08:12,297
You know, have fun.

184
00:08:12,299 --> 00:08:14,566
And my roommate wants
to meet everybody.

185
00:08:14,568 --> 00:08:17,469
Because I'm pretty sure
he thinks I'm making Dwight up.

186
00:08:18,771 --> 00:08:20,939
He is very real.

187
00:08:26,112 --> 00:08:27,512
What?

188
00:08:30,783 --> 00:08:33,585
Oh! Yes!

189
00:08:33,587 --> 00:08:35,353
Thank you.

190
00:08:41,260 --> 00:08:43,094
Question.

191
00:08:43,096 --> 00:08:45,463
On the Internet, there are
several different options

192
00:08:45,465 --> 00:08:46,698
to get to your house
for the party tonight.

193
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:49,968
Oh, um, no.
No, no, no. Keep that down.

194
00:08:49,970 --> 00:08:51,202
Why?

195
00:08:51,204 --> 00:08:54,005
Because not everybody
knows about the party.

196
00:08:55,174 --> 00:08:58,243
Like who?
Who doesn't know?

197
00:08:58,245 --> 00:09:00,412
Um, Michael.

198
00:09:00,414 --> 00:09:02,147
Why just Michael?

199
00:09:04,850 --> 00:09:06,418
'Cause it's a surprise.

200
00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:07,886
Is it?
Mm-hmm.

201
00:09:07,888 --> 00:09:08,887
Oh, that's perfect.

202
00:09:08,889 --> 00:09:10,455
So don't tell.

203
00:09:10,457 --> 00:09:12,324
I won't.
Okay.

204
00:09:13,292 --> 00:09:15,093
So, Dwight thinks that tonight

205
00:09:15,095 --> 00:09:16,795
is a surprise party for Michael.

206
00:09:16,797 --> 00:09:18,897
Really? That's great.
I know.

207
00:09:18,899 --> 00:09:20,932
Maybe we can get him
to hide and wait somewhere.

208
00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:24,069
Oh, man.

209
00:09:24,071 --> 00:09:25,403
Oh, you know what?
Speaking of which,

210
00:09:25,405 --> 00:09:27,005
I was just trying
to get a handle on,

211
00:09:27,007 --> 00:09:29,207
you know, numbers
for food and stuff.

212
00:09:29,209 --> 00:09:30,909
So do you think
Roy's gonna come or...

213
00:09:30,911 --> 00:09:32,510
Oh, no.
He can't make it.

214
00:09:32,512 --> 00:09:34,679
Oh, okay. Cool.

215
00:09:37,216 --> 00:09:39,384
Here.
Hey.

216
00:09:39,386 --> 00:09:41,319
Almost quitting time.

217
00:09:41,321 --> 00:09:44,055
Yep. It's 4:00.

218
00:09:44,057 --> 00:09:45,757
One more hour

219
00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:48,460
to take care of anything
you forgot to do.

220
00:09:50,796 --> 00:09:54,165
Hey, I don't know if you
have any plans tonight,

221
00:09:54,167 --> 00:09:56,234
but if you don't,
we could hang out.

222
00:09:58,771 --> 00:10:02,607
Oh, um... I can't.

223
00:10:02,609 --> 00:10:03,975
You have plans?
Mm-hmm. Yeah, I do.

224
00:10:03,977 --> 00:10:05,910
Yeah, I do too, I do too.
Oh, you do?

225
00:10:05,912 --> 00:10:07,612
Big plans. I do, yeah.

226
00:10:07,614 --> 00:10:08,847
Because you just said
you wanted to hang out...

227
00:10:08,849 --> 00:10:10,448
Tonight, I can't do it tonight.

228
00:10:10,450 --> 00:10:12,984
No. Improv class.
I have improv class.

229
00:10:12,986 --> 00:10:14,719
Hanging out with my improv buds.
Really?

230
00:10:14,721 --> 00:10:16,221
Yeah. Oh, that sounds
like a lot of fun.

231
00:10:16,223 --> 00:10:17,956
Oh, it's the best.
It is the best.

232
00:10:17,958 --> 00:10:19,557
I would not miss it
for the world.

233
00:10:19,559 --> 00:10:22,661
But if something else came up,
I would definitely not go.

234
00:10:25,097 --> 00:10:26,665
Improv sounds great.

235
00:10:27,967 --> 00:10:29,034
It is.

236
00:10:33,339 --> 00:10:34,606
Okay.

237
00:10:34,608 --> 00:10:36,875
All right.

238
00:10:37,911 --> 00:10:39,177
What?

239
00:10:39,179 --> 00:10:40,979
I think Stanley just coughed.

240
00:10:48,855 --> 00:10:51,790
Hey, Pam. Do you need me to walk
you to your vehicular transport?

241
00:10:51,792 --> 00:10:52,791
No, thanks.

242
00:10:52,793 --> 00:10:53,958
All right.

243
00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:55,193
Oscar, you have
big plans tonight...

244
00:10:55,195 --> 00:10:56,695
I'm on a call.
Okay.

245
00:10:56,697 --> 00:10:59,397
Kevin. Big man, big man.
What are you doing tonight?

246
00:10:59,399 --> 00:11:00,398
Where you off to?

247
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:01,666
My brother is in town

248
00:11:01,668 --> 00:11:04,836
and we are going to see
the Alaska Film Festival at...

249
00:11:04,838 --> 00:11:06,905
Okay, all right.

250
00:11:06,907 --> 00:11:08,540
Hey, Angela.
Rushy, rushy.

251
00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:09,874
Where you rushing off to?

252
00:11:09,876 --> 00:11:11,309
I'm just leaving for the day.

253
00:11:11,311 --> 00:11:12,977
Yeah, well, duh.
Where are you headed?

254
00:11:12,979 --> 00:11:15,346
Charity. Bake Drive.

255
00:11:15,348 --> 00:11:17,382
Liar! You are a liar.

256
00:11:17,384 --> 00:11:18,983
No, I'm not!

257
00:11:18,985 --> 00:11:21,252
Ohh. Dwight.

258
00:11:21,254 --> 00:11:23,288
Oh, Dwight, my loyal compadre.

259
00:11:23,290 --> 00:11:25,423
You and I are hanging tonight.

260
00:11:25,425 --> 00:11:27,892
The two of us.
We are celebrating

261
00:11:27,894 --> 00:11:30,295
our freedom and our manhood.

262
00:11:30,297 --> 00:11:31,730
You know what?

263
00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:33,231
Why don't we watch that show
you've been wanting to watch?

264
00:11:33,233 --> 00:11:35,533
That stupid Battleship Galaxy...

265
00:11:35,535 --> 00:11:36,835
Battlestar Galactica?

266
00:11:36,837 --> 00:11:39,437
That's... Whatever stupid show
you want to watch.

267
00:11:39,439 --> 00:11:41,673
I can't tonight.
Unfortunately I've got plans.

268
00:11:41,675 --> 00:11:45,844
I have to go to practice.
Soccer practice.

269
00:11:45,846 --> 00:11:47,378
I didn't know you played
soccer, Dwight.

270
00:11:47,380 --> 00:11:48,513
Clarinet.

271
00:11:48,948 --> 00:11:50,448
You too, Dwight?

272
00:11:51,016 --> 00:11:52,383
Have fun tonight.

273
00:11:52,385 --> 00:11:53,818
Whatever it is
that you're doing.

274
00:11:53,820 --> 00:11:56,688
And I'll see you Monday.

275
00:11:58,891 --> 00:12:00,625
He has no idea.

276
00:12:06,333 --> 00:12:07,699
Quick announcement, everybody.

277
00:12:07,701 --> 00:12:09,000
If I could have
everybody's attention.

278
00:12:09,002 --> 00:12:10,635
We do have wine in the kitchen.

279
00:12:10,637 --> 00:12:13,371
And there is beer
available on the porch.

280
00:12:13,373 --> 00:12:14,672
And despite
what you might think,

281
00:12:14,674 --> 00:12:16,107
it's not all for Meredith
and Kelly.

282
00:12:16,109 --> 00:12:17,509
So please enjoy.

283
00:12:17,511 --> 00:12:20,044
Jim, you really think
this is a good idea?

284
00:12:20,046 --> 00:12:22,113
Huh? A hide-a-key rock?

285
00:12:22,115 --> 00:12:23,648
Hey, you must be Dwight.

286
00:12:23,650 --> 00:12:24,682
You don't work with us.

287
00:12:24,684 --> 00:12:26,017
That's because
Mark's my roommate.

288
00:12:26,019 --> 00:12:27,018
Oh.

289
00:12:27,020 --> 00:12:28,686
Hey, I love the Birkenstocks.

290
00:12:28,688 --> 00:12:32,023
Thanks. Yeah, I always keep
an extra set in the car

291
00:12:32,025 --> 00:12:34,159
for special occasions.

292
00:12:34,161 --> 00:12:36,127
Jim, come here.
Mm-hmm?

293
00:12:36,129 --> 00:12:38,997
When is the guest
of honor coming?

294
00:12:38,999 --> 00:12:40,665
Oh. Uh, later-ish.

295
00:12:40,667 --> 00:12:42,133
He's gonna love it!

296
00:12:42,135 --> 00:12:45,203
Great. I just wanted
to let you guys know

297
00:12:45,205 --> 00:12:47,138
that we will be taking
the tour like I promised...

298
00:12:47,140 --> 00:12:48,406
Hey.
Hey!

299
00:12:48,408 --> 00:12:51,142
Just in time. Do you want
to go on a group tour?

300
00:12:51,144 --> 00:12:52,443
We were just about to leave.

301
00:12:52,445 --> 00:12:53,578
Definitely.

302
00:12:53,580 --> 00:12:54,779
Well, the group tour
is now leaving then.

303
00:12:54,781 --> 00:12:55,947
Ladies and gentlemen,
just a few things

304
00:12:55,949 --> 00:12:57,415
that we're going to be
pointing out to you today.

305
00:12:57,417 --> 00:12:59,684
You will be able
to see both bedrooms.

306
00:12:59,686 --> 00:13:01,186
And if we're lucky,

307
00:13:01,188 --> 00:13:03,454
maybe get a chance
to peek into the bathroom.

308
00:13:03,456 --> 00:13:04,823
Who knows? I have to
remind you also

309
00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:06,691
that flash photography
is prohibited.

310
00:13:06,693 --> 00:13:07,926
And as much as you can,

311
00:13:07,928 --> 00:13:09,761
please refrain
from touching things.

312
00:13:09,763 --> 00:13:11,396
I know you might want to.

313
00:13:11,398 --> 00:13:12,797
Hey, is Katie coming?

314
00:13:12,799 --> 00:13:14,499
Um, actually I haven't
talked to her in a while.

315
00:13:14,501 --> 00:13:16,835
Huh? Oh. Is it cool
if I call her?

316
00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:18,970
We'll talk about that later.

317
00:13:18,972 --> 00:13:20,238
Okay, let's get right into it.

318
00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:21,706
I need two people
for the first scene.

319
00:13:21,708 --> 00:13:24,142
Ooh, ooh, ooh!
Mr. Kotter!

320
00:13:24,144 --> 00:13:25,810
Mr. Kot-ter!

321
00:13:25,812 --> 00:13:27,879
Okay. Michael.
And...

322
00:13:29,515 --> 00:13:31,082
Anybody?

323
00:13:31,084 --> 00:13:32,350
How about Marybeth?

324
00:13:32,352 --> 00:13:35,320
Okay.
Come on.

325
00:13:35,322 --> 00:13:36,788
Okay, so you start
us off, Marybeth.

326
00:13:36,790 --> 00:13:38,089
All right, great. Okay.

327
00:13:43,463 --> 00:13:44,796
Boom!
Detective Michael Scott!

328
00:13:44,798 --> 00:13:45,997
I'm with the FBI!

329
00:13:45,999 --> 00:13:48,600
Think about this. What is
the most exciting thing

330
00:13:48,602 --> 00:13:50,735
that can happen on TV
or in movies

331
00:13:50,737 --> 00:13:54,472
or in real life?
Somebody has a gun.

332
00:13:54,474 --> 00:13:56,574
That's why I always start
with a gun

333
00:13:56,576 --> 00:13:59,544
because you can't top it.
You just can't.

334
00:13:59,546 --> 00:14:01,779
I'm supposed to meet
my doctor here.

335
00:14:01,781 --> 00:14:03,982
Have you seen him?
He's a very angry midget.

336
00:14:03,984 --> 00:14:05,350
Boom! Freeze!

337
00:14:05,352 --> 00:14:06,651
Michael Scarn, FBI!

338
00:14:06,653 --> 00:14:08,186
You know what you did.

339
00:14:08,188 --> 00:14:10,355
Boom! Boom! Boom!

340
00:14:10,357 --> 00:14:12,023
Yeah, you thought
you could get away

341
00:14:12,025 --> 00:14:14,492
with your little ruse
didn't you? Didn't you?

342
00:14:14,494 --> 00:14:15,960
Well, you didn't.

343
00:14:15,962 --> 00:14:18,096
Because I know where
you hid the diamonds.

344
00:14:18,098 --> 00:14:20,498
I've been on to you and your
little friends for weeks.

345
00:14:20,500 --> 00:14:22,600
Boom! Boom! Boom!

346
00:14:22,602 --> 00:14:23,968
I'm not even in the scene!

347
00:14:23,970 --> 00:14:25,136
Boom! Boom! Boom!

348
00:14:25,138 --> 00:14:26,938
Stop. Stop! Stop.

349
00:14:26,940 --> 00:14:29,040
Okay. You shot me.
Great. Stop.

350
00:14:29,042 --> 00:14:30,975
Okay, you can't just shoot
everyone in the scene.

351
00:14:30,977 --> 00:14:32,510
Well, if you hadn't
stopped the scene,

352
00:14:32,512 --> 00:14:33,811
you would've seen
where it was going.

353
00:14:33,813 --> 00:14:35,046
Okay. What about
the scene they set up?

354
00:14:35,048 --> 00:14:36,714
Boring.

355
00:14:36,716 --> 00:14:39,584
No, it wasn't.
No more guns. No, no.

356
00:14:39,586 --> 00:14:43,288
Michael, I want you to give me
all the guns you have.

357
00:14:43,290 --> 00:14:46,557
Just get rid of all your guns
and give them to me.

358
00:14:46,559 --> 00:14:48,793
Great.
Bleh!

359
00:14:48,795 --> 00:14:50,295
Bleh. Okay.

360
00:14:56,101 --> 00:14:58,236
Jim's bedroom.

361
00:15:02,374 --> 00:15:05,143
See, I knew we lost
somebody on the tour.

362
00:15:05,145 --> 00:15:07,612
Cool. This is your desk.

363
00:15:07,614 --> 00:15:08,646
This is my desk.

364
00:15:08,648 --> 00:15:10,014
Your home office.

365
00:15:10,016 --> 00:15:12,750
Home office. This is it. Yeah.

366
00:15:12,752 --> 00:15:14,385
You have to sit down so I can
get the full effect.

367
00:15:14,387 --> 00:15:17,288
Okay. Sure. Will do.

368
00:15:19,058 --> 00:15:22,560
Okay, wait.
So that would make me...

369
00:15:22,562 --> 00:15:24,329
Like right here.

370
00:15:24,331 --> 00:15:27,031
Yeah. Yep, that feels
about right.

371
00:15:27,033 --> 00:15:28,766
And then Dwight would be like...

372
00:15:28,768 --> 00:15:30,868
You know what? Let's just
leave that image out of it.

373
00:15:30,870 --> 00:15:32,437
Because this is a happy place.

374
00:15:32,439 --> 00:15:34,906
Happy thoughts, Pam.
Happy thoughts.

375
00:15:36,241 --> 00:15:38,776
Um... oh! Yearbook.

376
00:15:38,778 --> 00:15:40,511
Yeah, you don't have to, um...

377
00:15:40,513 --> 00:15:43,815
All right. Yes, that's
not gonna be awkward at all.

378
00:15:45,551 --> 00:15:48,786
Oh, no!
Oh, yeah.

379
00:15:48,788 --> 00:15:51,923
You were so dorky!
Thank you.

380
00:16:00,165 --> 00:16:01,466
Freeze.
I'm in.

381
00:16:01,468 --> 00:16:02,967
Do you want to go over
the rules one more time?

382
00:16:02,969 --> 00:16:04,469
No, no, no, no.

383
00:16:06,739 --> 00:16:08,639
I'm looking
in my wallet for money

384
00:16:08,641 --> 00:16:10,608
so you can tell me my fortune.

385
00:16:13,545 --> 00:16:15,580
I promise it's worth it.

386
00:16:15,582 --> 00:16:17,782
Oh, I can see you
walking out of here,

387
00:16:17,784 --> 00:16:19,684
and you're thrilled
with your reading.

388
00:16:21,921 --> 00:16:23,554
What are you...

389
00:16:30,629 --> 00:16:31,963
Michael, what did you tell him?

390
00:16:31,965 --> 00:16:33,197
Nothing.

391
00:16:33,199 --> 00:16:35,767
Then why are
his hands up? Bill?

392
00:16:35,769 --> 00:16:38,236
He told me he couldn't
show it to me,

393
00:16:38,238 --> 00:16:39,737
but he has a gun.

394
00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:43,007
Okay.
Let's call it a day.

395
00:16:43,009 --> 00:16:45,676
Good. That was good.

396
00:16:45,678 --> 00:16:47,478
Good work, everybody.

397
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:51,849
Angela, burger, dog?
Having fun?

398
00:16:51,851 --> 00:16:54,419
I got sap on me.

399
00:16:54,421 --> 00:16:56,587
Chicken, hot dog, burger.

400
00:16:56,589 --> 00:16:58,523
I'm a vegetarian.

401
00:16:58,525 --> 00:17:00,725
There's soda inside.

402
00:17:00,727 --> 00:17:01,926
Oh.

403
00:17:01,928 --> 00:17:03,094
I didn't think the premium

404
00:17:03,096 --> 00:17:04,162
laser color copy batch

405
00:17:04,164 --> 00:17:05,563
would sell as well as it did.

406
00:17:05,565 --> 00:17:07,899
It surprised us all.
I'll tell you why. Because...

407
00:17:07,901 --> 00:17:09,100
I'm sorry, guys.

408
00:17:09,102 --> 00:17:10,935
Can we please not talk
about paper?

409
00:17:10,937 --> 00:17:13,097
There's gotta be something else
that we can talk about.

410
00:17:13,906 --> 00:17:15,139
Ahem.

411
00:17:18,944 --> 00:17:21,946
Um, I think it's all right.

412
00:17:21,948 --> 00:17:24,916
I mean, jeez.
It's late already.

413
00:17:24,918 --> 00:17:26,918
Hmm.

414
00:17:28,987 --> 00:17:30,455
Hey, Phyllis.

415
00:17:30,457 --> 00:17:32,123
Come here for a second. Sure.

416
00:17:32,125 --> 00:17:33,324
Have you heard anything

417
00:17:33,326 --> 00:17:36,894
about any secret
office romances or...

418
00:17:36,896 --> 00:17:39,697
You tell me.

419
00:17:39,699 --> 00:17:42,200
Well, you do mean
you and Jim, right?

420
00:17:43,969 --> 00:17:46,471
Oh, God. I am so sorry.
I mean, I thought...

421
00:17:46,473 --> 00:17:48,439
You guys hang out all the time.

422
00:17:48,441 --> 00:17:49,774
And you're talking all the time.

423
00:17:49,776 --> 00:17:52,176
I'm sorry.
It's like...

424
00:17:52,178 --> 00:17:54,579
It's okay. It's okay.

425
00:17:56,081 --> 00:18:00,585
Ah! Not so fast,
fire guy.

426
00:18:02,221 --> 00:18:03,888
How do we get to Bernie's
Tavern from here?

427
00:18:03,890 --> 00:18:05,389
Oh, don't worry.
We're all gonna carpool.

428
00:18:05,391 --> 00:18:06,958
So, Bernie's, huh?
We're all going to Bernie's?

429
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:10,061
Oh, uh, sorry. We're not
going as a group.

430
00:18:10,063 --> 00:18:11,429
It's just a private friend

431
00:18:11,431 --> 00:18:13,064
who happens to know all
of us from different ways

432
00:18:13,066 --> 00:18:14,765
is throwing a private
birthday thing.

433
00:18:14,767 --> 00:18:16,267
Right, right, right.
Well, guys, I'd love to go

434
00:18:16,269 --> 00:18:17,468
to Bernie's with you.
But you know what?

435
00:18:17,470 --> 00:18:18,603
I have an office party.

436
00:18:18,605 --> 00:18:19,871
Big office party
I need to go to.

437
00:18:19,873 --> 00:18:21,272
So can't get out of it.

438
00:18:21,274 --> 00:18:22,540
Good job.
Hey, see you later.

439
00:18:22,542 --> 00:18:25,409
Nice job, Bill. Not.

440
00:18:33,253 --> 00:18:36,854
Oh, hey, how's your new
side project going?

441
00:18:36,856 --> 00:18:39,023
Um, oh, yeah.
I gave that up.

442
00:18:39,025 --> 00:18:41,225
Really? Yeah. It
turns out I was, um,

443
00:18:41,227 --> 00:18:43,461
just grasping at straws.

444
00:18:43,463 --> 00:18:45,730
Just because two people
are hanging out,

445
00:18:45,732 --> 00:18:47,899
it doesn't mean
that they're together.

446
00:18:47,901 --> 00:18:50,968
You know? Like people
can just be friends.

447
00:18:50,970 --> 00:18:52,770
And I think that it was
really unfair of us

448
00:18:52,772 --> 00:18:55,006
to assume that there was
anything else going on.

449
00:19:04,384 --> 00:19:07,885
Surprise!

450
00:19:07,887 --> 00:19:10,021
Everybody.

451
00:19:10,023 --> 00:19:13,057
Wow. Who opened the morgue
for this thing?

452
00:19:13,059 --> 00:19:14,625
I was just driving by.
Thought I'd drop in.

453
00:19:14,627 --> 00:19:16,727
Here's some wine.
I would love a glass

454
00:19:16,729 --> 00:19:17,795
if you're gonna open it.

455
00:19:17,797 --> 00:19:19,931
Hello, temp.
Take my jacket.

456
00:19:19,933 --> 00:19:21,699
Ha ha ha!

457
00:19:21,701 --> 00:19:23,868
Oh, come on. That guy?

458
00:19:25,571 --> 00:19:26,971
He is a good guy.
Not a terrorist.

459
00:19:26,973 --> 00:19:28,573
Yikes.

460
00:19:28,575 --> 00:19:29,840
Karaoke. I love it.

461
00:19:29,842 --> 00:19:33,311
I am a karaoke fiend!

462
00:19:33,313 --> 00:19:34,478
I call dibs.
I've got next.

463
00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:37,481
I got next up.
Come on. Let's...

464
00:19:39,586 --> 00:19:42,453
Ha! Okay.
Where's that wine?

465
00:19:42,455 --> 00:19:44,889
Okay. This is
a duet. So...

466
00:19:46,326 --> 00:19:48,926
Somebody else?
Pam, you want to...

467
00:19:48,928 --> 00:19:50,761
come up and sing this one?

468
00:19:50,763 --> 00:19:54,098
Need somebody else.
Takers, please.

469
00:19:58,471 --> 00:19:59,704
Kelly?

470
00:20:09,148 --> 00:20:13,117
This is the part
that goes to the girl.

471
00:20:48,921 --> 00:20:50,288
We're making love!

472
00:21:01,968 --> 00:21:03,701
Talk! Just talk!

473
00:21:03,703 --> 00:21:05,036
I am...
Shut up!

474
00:21:05,038 --> 00:21:07,371
Funny story... The way
I got into improv

475
00:21:07,373 --> 00:21:09,540
was... I got into improv...

476
00:21:09,542 --> 00:21:11,876
The story about me
getting into improv was

477
00:21:11,878 --> 00:21:13,844
that I was walking
down the street

478
00:21:13,846 --> 00:21:15,413
and a race car pulls up.

479
00:21:15,415 --> 00:21:17,648
And the guy says,
"Hey, you're funny.

480
00:21:17,650 --> 00:21:19,216
"You're the funniest guy
I've ever seen.

481
00:21:19,218 --> 00:21:21,319
Or my name is not
Dale Earnhardt."

482
00:21:23,923 --> 00:21:25,423
And that was an improv.

483
00:21:27,292 --> 00:21:30,561
Um, the real way was that
I found a flyer.

484
00:21:31,345 --> 00:21:41,345
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