1
00:00:01,481 --> 00:00:02,547
Let's think this through.

2
00:00:02,549 --> 00:00:06,518
If we ask corporate
for that, then...

3
00:00:06,520 --> 00:00:09,621
They are either gonna say...

4
00:00:09,623 --> 00:00:11,423
yes or no.

5
00:00:11,425 --> 00:00:12,924
Could go either way.

6
00:00:12,926 --> 00:00:15,293
We don't know
what they are going to say.

7
00:00:15,295 --> 00:00:16,628
Think it through!

8
00:00:16,630 --> 00:00:18,396
Have to think it through.

9
00:00:18,398 --> 00:00:20,398
Because if they say no...

10
00:00:22,902 --> 00:00:24,069
Can we not?

11
00:00:24,071 --> 00:00:25,637
No... yes, we have to.
You know why?

12
00:00:25,639 --> 00:00:27,672
'Cause I don't like to be
cooped up in that office.

13
00:00:27,674 --> 00:00:29,107
In that box all day long.

14
00:00:29,109 --> 00:00:30,275
Heisman!

15
00:00:30,277 --> 00:00:33,411
Because I need to think.
Okay, Jim?

16
00:00:33,413 --> 00:00:35,881
Oh, Kevin!
Oooh!

17
00:00:38,851 --> 00:00:39,951
Ugh!
Nice catch.

18
00:00:39,953 --> 00:00:41,453
Mm mm mm mm.

19
00:00:41,455 --> 00:00:43,922
Oscar!

20
00:00:43,924 --> 00:00:44,990
Intercepted.

21
00:00:44,992 --> 00:00:46,558
Right here.
Give it to me.

22
00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:47,559
Phyllis, give me the ball.

23
00:00:47,561 --> 00:00:48,560
Okay, give me the ball.

24
00:00:48,562 --> 00:00:49,561
You guys...

25
00:00:49,563 --> 00:00:50,962
Creed, give me the ball
right now.

26
00:00:50,964 --> 00:00:52,130
Give it to me.
Ryan.

27
00:00:52,132 --> 00:00:53,598
Aaaah!

28
00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:55,634
Aaaaah!
Fumble!

29
00:00:55,636 --> 00:00:56,935
Yeah!

30
00:00:59,605 --> 00:01:00,772
All right, hey, Dwight!

31
00:01:02,141 --> 00:01:04,175
Whoo!

32
00:01:04,177 --> 00:01:05,577
Hut hut hut hike!

33
00:01:09,382 --> 00:01:10,815
You all right, Ryan?

34
00:01:10,817 --> 00:01:12,417
Yeah.

35
00:01:15,087 --> 00:01:16,154
Pam!

36
00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:23,554
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

37
00:01:49,055 --> 00:01:52,457
Oh, they're having
a sale on TiVo.

38
00:01:53,359 --> 00:01:56,061
Maybe I should get a TiVo.

39
00:01:56,063 --> 00:01:58,196
Ooh, DVD burner.

40
00:01:58,198 --> 00:01:59,664
Maybe I should get one of those.

41
00:02:01,233 --> 00:02:03,134
You are so lucky, Jim.

42
00:02:03,136 --> 00:02:06,571
You are so lucky
you don't have this problem.

43
00:02:06,573 --> 00:02:09,407
What was the ninth place
prize again?

44
00:02:09,409 --> 00:02:10,709
A loaf of bread?

45
00:02:11,644 --> 00:02:13,745
Cojino's pizza.

46
00:02:13,747 --> 00:02:14,946
Oh, great.

47
00:02:14,948 --> 00:02:16,548
Tasty terrific pizza.

48
00:02:17,483 --> 00:02:21,386
Question, do their pizzas
play DVDs?

49
00:02:22,955 --> 00:02:26,458
Dwight was the top salesman
of the year at our company.

50
00:02:26,460 --> 00:02:28,193
He wins a little prize money
and gets honored

51
00:02:28,195 --> 00:02:29,628
at some convention.

52
00:02:30,596 --> 00:02:33,832
It is literally
the highest possible honor

53
00:02:33,834 --> 00:02:36,134
that a Northeastern
Pennsylvania based

54
00:02:36,136 --> 00:02:38,103
mid-size paper company
regional salesman

55
00:02:38,105 --> 00:02:40,105
can attain, so...

56
00:02:41,173 --> 00:02:42,507
What did I do to deserve this?

57
00:02:42,509 --> 00:02:43,642
Are you sad
that Dwight beat you?

58
00:02:43,644 --> 00:02:44,643
No.

59
00:02:44,645 --> 00:02:45,710
Are you gonna cry, Jim?

60
00:02:45,712 --> 00:02:47,412
Do you need a tissue?

61
00:02:47,414 --> 00:02:49,180
Hey, I heard you got
a wedding dress.

62
00:02:49,182 --> 00:02:50,348
Do you have pictures?

63
00:02:50,350 --> 00:02:51,516
Oh, yeah.

64
00:02:51,518 --> 00:02:54,052
I'll show 'em to you later.

65
00:02:54,054 --> 00:02:56,388
Oh, I should get back.

66
00:02:56,390 --> 00:02:57,422
Talk to you guys later.

67
00:02:57,424 --> 00:02:58,523
Okay, cool.

68
00:02:58,525 --> 00:03:00,458
I have a ton of stuff
to do for the wedding.

69
00:03:00,460 --> 00:03:02,494
And I have to do it
in the office.

70
00:03:02,496 --> 00:03:04,829
And that can be kind of awkward.

71
00:03:04,831 --> 00:03:08,233
Uh, just because
people can get all weird

72
00:03:08,235 --> 00:03:09,901
about wedding stuff.

73
00:03:09,903 --> 00:03:12,437
I just... I don't
want to offend...

74
00:03:12,439 --> 00:03:15,573
Angela.
Or someone.

75
00:03:20,179 --> 00:03:21,446
That's what she said.

76
00:03:21,448 --> 00:03:22,547
Ha!

77
00:03:22,549 --> 00:03:24,049
I don't get it.

78
00:03:24,051 --> 00:03:25,450
Grapes, seductive.

79
00:03:26,652 --> 00:03:28,787
So, you ready for the
big speech this afternoon?

80
00:03:28,789 --> 00:03:30,689
Well, it's not really
a big speech.

81
00:03:30,691 --> 00:03:31,756
You're still coming, right?

82
00:03:31,758 --> 00:03:34,592
Oh, absofruitly.

83
00:03:34,594 --> 00:03:36,227
Fruit, grapes.
Nailed the joke.

84
00:03:36,229 --> 00:03:37,228
Matter of time.

85
00:03:37,230 --> 00:03:38,797
Uh, and yes, it is a big speech.

86
00:03:38,799 --> 00:03:40,198
Biggest of your life.

87
00:03:41,534 --> 00:03:43,902
Speaker at the sales convention.

88
00:03:43,904 --> 00:03:45,437
Been there, done that.

89
00:03:45,439 --> 00:03:47,305
Went there again, did it again.

90
00:03:47,307 --> 00:03:49,340
Two years in a row.

91
00:03:49,342 --> 00:03:51,810
Consecutive.

92
00:03:51,812 --> 00:03:54,713
I just... I miss the feeling
of knowing

93
00:03:54,715 --> 00:03:56,614
that you did a good job
because somebody

94
00:03:56,616 --> 00:03:58,249
gives you proof of it.

95
00:03:58,251 --> 00:04:00,452
Sir, you're awesome.

96
00:04:00,454 --> 00:04:01,920
Here's a plaque.

97
00:04:01,922 --> 00:04:03,822
What, a whole year has gone by

98
00:04:03,824 --> 00:04:04,856
and you need more proof?

99
00:04:04,858 --> 00:04:05,924
Here's a certificate.

100
00:04:05,926 --> 00:04:08,560
They stopped
making plaques that year.

101
00:04:08,562 --> 00:04:11,596
What if I give a really long
extended thank you?

102
00:04:11,598 --> 00:04:15,567
For instance,
thank you Mr. Blank.

103
00:04:15,569 --> 00:04:17,902
Thank you very, very...

104
00:04:17,904 --> 00:04:19,037
That would look terrible.

105
00:04:19,039 --> 00:04:20,472
These are mostly salesmen.

106
00:04:20,474 --> 00:04:22,407
And salesmen expect
to be entertained.

107
00:04:22,409 --> 00:04:23,675
And you are the main act.

108
00:04:23,677 --> 00:04:25,110
When I was in the sixth grade,

109
00:04:25,112 --> 00:04:27,946
I was a finalist
in our school spelling bee.

110
00:04:27,948 --> 00:04:31,049
It was me against Raj Patel.

111
00:04:31,051 --> 00:04:33,885
And I misspelled, in front
of the entire school,

112
00:04:35,121 --> 00:04:36,921
the word "failure".

113
00:04:36,923 --> 00:04:38,556
I can't do this.

114
00:04:38,558 --> 00:04:40,425
That's because
you're incapable of doing it.

115
00:04:40,427 --> 00:04:42,160
Because you don't know how.

116
00:04:42,162 --> 00:04:44,863
Because you have no skills.

117
00:04:44,865 --> 00:04:47,432
Dwight, there's no way
I can possible teach you

118
00:04:47,434 --> 00:04:48,900
what you need to know
about public speaking

119
00:04:48,902 --> 00:04:49,934
by speech time.

120
00:04:49,936 --> 00:04:52,370
Okay.

121
00:04:52,372 --> 00:04:53,738
But I can teach you enough
so that you don't

122
00:04:53,740 --> 00:04:55,073
embarrass me or the company.

123
00:04:55,075 --> 00:04:56,207
Okay, deal.

124
00:04:56,209 --> 00:04:57,208
I'll do whatever you say.

125
00:04:57,210 --> 00:04:58,309
No questions asked.

126
00:04:58,311 --> 00:04:59,711
Well, if you have a question,
you should ask me.

127
00:04:59,713 --> 00:05:01,479
I'll try and think of one.

128
00:05:01,481 --> 00:05:02,814
Don't try to think
of a question to humor me.

129
00:05:02,816 --> 00:05:05,283
Just try not
to be such an idiot.

130
00:05:05,285 --> 00:05:06,518
Is that an insult or is that

131
00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:08,286
part of the public speaking
advice?

132
00:05:10,589 --> 00:05:11,656
Insult.

133
00:05:13,392 --> 00:05:14,659
Mom, I'm sorry.

134
00:05:14,661 --> 00:05:16,895
I know you and Dad are
chipping in for the wedding,

135
00:05:16,897 --> 00:05:20,832
but I do not want
orange invitations.

136
00:05:20,834 --> 00:05:23,001
Yes.

137
00:05:23,003 --> 00:05:24,335
Well, if you really want...

138
00:05:24,337 --> 00:05:26,304
Hi, yeah, can I talk to
one of your travel agents.

139
00:05:26,306 --> 00:05:28,807
I'm gonna take a trip.

140
00:05:28,809 --> 00:05:31,743
I'm gonna get out
of town for a while.

141
00:05:31,745 --> 00:05:35,647
And go someplace...
not here.

142
00:05:35,649 --> 00:05:38,016
Where do I wanna go?

143
00:05:38,018 --> 00:05:40,151
Um, that is
an excellent question.

144
00:05:40,153 --> 00:05:42,921
And one I probably
should have thought about

145
00:05:42,923 --> 00:05:44,522
before I called you.

146
00:05:46,091 --> 00:05:47,559
I get here early every morning

147
00:05:47,561 --> 00:05:50,028
so I can set the thermostat.

148
00:05:50,030 --> 00:05:52,764
I like it a little cooler,
around 66 degrees.

149
00:05:52,766 --> 00:05:54,999
I'm more productive.

150
00:05:55,001 --> 00:05:56,301
Maybe some people don't like it

151
00:05:56,303 --> 00:05:57,769
as cold as I do.

152
00:05:57,771 --> 00:05:59,304
But I don't care.

153
00:05:59,306 --> 00:06:02,273
But seriously,
what's the difference

154
00:06:02,275 --> 00:06:03,675
between a salesman
and a saleswoman?

155
00:06:03,677 --> 00:06:04,976
A saleswoman has a vagina.

156
00:06:04,978 --> 00:06:06,711
It's a joke, Dwight.
It's not a sex ed class.

157
00:06:06,713 --> 00:06:07,779
But I'm right.

158
00:06:07,781 --> 00:06:09,013
Yeah, you're right about
the difference

159
00:06:09,015 --> 00:06:10,582
between a man and a woman
but not about the punchline

160
00:06:10,584 --> 00:06:12,483
to the joke, all right?

161
00:06:12,485 --> 00:06:15,220
The difference between
a salesman and a saleswoman

162
00:06:15,222 --> 00:06:16,821
is boobs.

163
00:06:16,823 --> 00:06:19,824
Hey, do you remember
the speeches that you gave?

164
00:06:19,826 --> 00:06:20,859
I do, both of them.

165
00:06:20,861 --> 00:06:22,060
Could I have a copy
of one of them?

166
00:06:22,062 --> 00:06:23,494
No no, they would remember.

167
00:06:23,496 --> 00:06:26,264
Look, it doesn't matter
what you say,

168
00:06:26,266 --> 00:06:27,999
it just matters that you're
saying something

169
00:06:28,001 --> 00:06:29,467
that people care about.

170
00:06:29,469 --> 00:06:30,702
Yeah?

171
00:06:30,704 --> 00:06:32,503
All right, here we go.
Watch this.

172
00:06:32,505 --> 00:06:34,939
Attention everybody!
Attention please.

173
00:06:34,941 --> 00:06:37,675
I have some very great news
from corporate.

174
00:06:37,677 --> 00:06:40,211
We had a wonderful quarter,
and as a result,

175
00:06:40,213 --> 00:06:42,814
all of you are
getting bonuses for $1,000.

176
00:06:42,816 --> 00:06:44,148
Yeah!

177
00:06:44,150 --> 00:06:46,684
Congratulations.

178
00:06:51,490 --> 00:06:52,891
You see that?

179
00:06:52,893 --> 00:06:54,058
You see how
they responded to me?

180
00:06:54,060 --> 00:06:56,361
In that moment, I had them.

181
00:06:56,363 --> 00:06:58,496
That is so great
about the bonus!

182
00:06:58,498 --> 00:06:59,697
No no, it's not true.

183
00:06:59,699 --> 00:07:01,266
I was just talking.

184
00:07:01,268 --> 00:07:03,868
So just go out there
and say anything.

185
00:07:03,870 --> 00:07:05,603
They'll eat it up,
they're a great audience.

186
00:07:05,605 --> 00:07:07,705
Go ahead, get the wallpaper.

187
00:07:07,707 --> 00:07:09,207
Wallpaper the ceiling
if you want.

188
00:07:09,209 --> 00:07:10,842
Excuse me?

189
00:07:10,844 --> 00:07:13,177
May I have
your attention please?

190
00:07:13,179 --> 00:07:16,314
There had been an accident
on 84 West.

191
00:07:16,316 --> 00:07:17,749
Cars have skidded off the road

192
00:07:17,751 --> 00:07:19,183
into the safety railing.

193
00:07:19,185 --> 00:07:21,719
Several cars have flipped.

194
00:07:21,721 --> 00:07:23,187
There is broken glass
everywhere.

195
00:07:23,189 --> 00:07:25,924
Several people are injured.

196
00:07:25,926 --> 00:07:27,825
Do we know anyone
who was in the accident?

197
00:07:28,928 --> 00:07:30,795
Brad Pitt.

198
00:07:32,264 --> 00:07:34,632
Also, there will be no bonuses.

199
00:07:34,634 --> 00:07:35,767
Why would this
affect our bonuses?

200
00:07:35,769 --> 00:07:37,101
They're unrelated.

201
00:07:37,103 --> 00:07:38,336
Is Brad okay?

202
00:07:38,338 --> 00:07:39,570
He will never act again.

203
00:07:39,572 --> 00:07:42,340
Also, this branch is closing.

204
00:07:42,342 --> 00:07:43,541
What the hell is going on here?

205
00:07:43,543 --> 00:07:44,575
Are we out of jobs?

206
00:07:44,577 --> 00:07:45,677
Yes.

207
00:07:45,679 --> 00:07:46,945
This is karma because
of what he did

208
00:07:46,947 --> 00:07:47,979
to Jennifer Anniston.

209
00:07:47,981 --> 00:07:49,647
He was kidding.
Dwight was kidding.

210
00:07:49,649 --> 00:07:52,750
And I don't know why
because it wasn't funny.

211
00:07:52,752 --> 00:07:55,286
And it was just horrible.

212
00:07:55,288 --> 00:07:56,287
Michael?
Yeah?

213
00:07:56,289 --> 00:07:58,156
You said we were
getting bonuses.

214
00:07:58,158 --> 00:08:00,291
All right, everybody
in the conference room now.

215
00:08:00,293 --> 00:08:01,759
Let's go.
Let's do it.

216
00:08:01,761 --> 00:08:03,761
Cancel the wallpaper.

217
00:08:03,763 --> 00:08:05,596
As your leader and your friend,

218
00:08:05,598 --> 00:08:07,732
I sort of demand
that you can all

219
00:08:07,734 --> 00:08:10,268
speak in public as I can.

220
00:08:10,270 --> 00:08:12,203
And did.
Twice.

221
00:08:12,205 --> 00:08:14,172
You saw the plaque, right?

222
00:08:14,174 --> 00:08:16,307
All right, we're all
gonna go around the room

223
00:08:16,309 --> 00:08:17,976
and we're going to make toasts.

224
00:08:17,978 --> 00:08:20,478
And that way we will
overcome our fear

225
00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:21,479
of public speaking.

226
00:08:21,481 --> 00:08:22,847
You mean toastmasters?

227
00:08:22,849 --> 00:08:24,649
Pam, I'm public speaking.

228
00:08:24,651 --> 00:08:26,017
Stop public interrupting me.

229
00:08:26,019 --> 00:08:28,453
Actually, this would be
good practice

230
00:08:28,455 --> 00:08:29,754
for your wedding toast.

231
00:08:29,756 --> 00:08:33,391
Yeah, the bride doesn't
really do...

232
00:08:33,393 --> 00:08:34,673
Have you ever been to a wedding?

233
00:08:35,627 --> 00:08:36,928
Can I go?

234
00:08:36,930 --> 00:08:40,732
Yes, good.
Jim taking the initiative.

235
00:08:40,734 --> 00:08:44,602
So, uh, I am going on a trip.

236
00:08:44,604 --> 00:08:46,804
But I'm not really sure
where I'm going yet.

237
00:08:46,806 --> 00:08:48,006
It's kinda open ended.

238
00:08:48,008 --> 00:08:49,140
So I was hoping maybe you guys

239
00:08:49,142 --> 00:08:50,742
would have some suggestions.

240
00:08:50,744 --> 00:08:52,143
You should go to Hedonism.

241
00:08:52,145 --> 00:08:53,878
What is that?

242
00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:57,982
It's like Club Med,
but everything is naked.

243
00:08:59,251 --> 00:09:00,418
I was thinking more like Europe.

244
00:09:00,420 --> 00:09:01,452
Or something like that.

245
00:09:01,454 --> 00:09:03,621
But good second choice.

246
00:09:03,623 --> 00:09:05,456
Been to Amsterdam.

247
00:09:05,458 --> 00:09:07,425
Oh, okay, you know what?

248
00:09:07,427 --> 00:09:10,795
That's not a toast.
You're not standing up.

249
00:09:10,797 --> 00:09:12,063
To Amsterdam.

250
00:09:12,065 --> 00:09:13,998
When did you go there?

251
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:17,235
Um, after my divorce.

252
00:09:17,237 --> 00:09:18,469
Really?
For like how long?

253
00:09:18,471 --> 00:09:20,605
About a week or...

254
00:09:20,607 --> 00:09:21,939
Maybe a month.

255
00:09:21,941 --> 00:09:23,508
Jimmy, listen to me.

256
00:09:23,510 --> 00:09:25,877
You do not want to go
to Amsterdam, trust me.

257
00:09:25,879 --> 00:09:27,211
Where do I wanna go?

258
00:09:27,213 --> 00:09:29,180
I'd send you to Hong Kong.

259
00:09:29,182 --> 00:09:30,948
I'd like to say hi
to my friends in China.

260
00:09:36,022 --> 00:09:38,790
Okay.
Dwight.

261
00:09:39,825 --> 00:09:42,160
Show us what you have
learned today.

262
00:09:46,565 --> 00:09:49,300
Good morning, Vietnam!

263
00:09:57,042 --> 00:09:59,377
Okay, you know what?
This isn't working.

264
00:09:59,379 --> 00:10:01,879
Because, um, I'm not nervous
in front of them.

265
00:10:01,881 --> 00:10:03,147
They're my subordinates.

266
00:10:03,149 --> 00:10:04,682
No, we're not.

267
00:10:04,684 --> 00:10:06,317
Uh, yes, you are.

268
00:10:06,319 --> 00:10:08,152
I am the
assistant regional manager.

269
00:10:08,154 --> 00:10:09,353
Which means absolutely nothing.

270
00:10:09,355 --> 00:10:10,488
Michael, can you explain?

271
00:10:10,490 --> 00:10:12,690
Well, it's mostly made up.

272
00:10:14,526 --> 00:10:16,160
Dwight is not going
to do a good job, it's sad.

273
00:10:16,162 --> 00:10:17,361
And they're expecting excellence

274
00:10:17,363 --> 00:10:18,930
because I did do
such a great job.

275
00:10:18,932 --> 00:10:20,131
Two years in a row I killed.

276
00:10:20,133 --> 00:10:21,432
It was amazing.

277
00:10:23,669 --> 00:10:25,203
Confidence, Dwight!

278
00:10:30,309 --> 00:10:33,244
Dwight, if you could travel
anywhere in the world,

279
00:10:33,246 --> 00:10:34,278
where would you go?

280
00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:36,114
I can travel anywhere,
except Cuba.

281
00:10:36,116 --> 00:10:38,416
And I will travel
to New Zealand.

282
00:10:38,418 --> 00:10:39,550
And walk the
Lord of the Rings trail

283
00:10:39,552 --> 00:10:40,651
to Mordor.

284
00:10:40,653 --> 00:10:42,620
And then I will
hike Mt. Doom.

285
00:10:42,622 --> 00:10:44,622
Now just leave me alone.

286
00:10:44,624 --> 00:10:47,325
Okay, just trying to
get some advice on my trip.

287
00:10:47,327 --> 00:10:49,694
Please, you're not
taking any trip.

288
00:10:54,933 --> 00:10:57,835
You know, I majored
in public speaking in college?

289
00:10:57,837 --> 00:10:59,604
You did?
Mm-hmm.

290
00:10:59,606 --> 00:11:00,938
And the first thing
that they teach you

291
00:11:00,940 --> 00:11:02,673
is that you've gotta
be true to yourself.

292
00:11:02,675 --> 00:11:06,677
And you are all about authority.

293
00:11:06,679 --> 00:11:08,579
Yes, I am.

294
00:11:08,581 --> 00:11:10,448
The great speakers
throughout history

295
00:11:10,450 --> 00:11:13,618
were not joke tellers,
they were people of passion.

296
00:11:13,620 --> 00:11:15,086
So, if you wanna do well today,

297
00:11:15,088 --> 00:11:16,187
you gotta do what they did.

298
00:11:16,189 --> 00:11:17,355
Which is?

299
00:11:17,357 --> 00:11:19,323
You've gotta wave your arms,

300
00:11:19,325 --> 00:11:21,025
and you've gotta
pound your fists.

301
00:11:21,027 --> 00:11:23,494
Many times.

302
00:11:23,496 --> 00:11:24,762
So as to emphasize your point.

303
00:11:24,764 --> 00:11:28,099
Okay, I didn't actually
major in public speaking.

304
00:11:28,101 --> 00:11:30,334
But I did download speeches
from some of history's

305
00:11:30,336 --> 00:11:31,969
famous dictators.

306
00:11:31,971 --> 00:11:33,471
Like this one.

307
00:11:33,473 --> 00:11:35,339
Originally given
by Benito Mussolini.

308
00:11:35,341 --> 00:11:37,942
Okay, look, I know
you're giving this speech

309
00:11:37,944 --> 00:11:39,043
on your own.

310
00:11:39,045 --> 00:11:40,144
But I wrote up
a few talking points

311
00:11:40,146 --> 00:11:41,145
for you to take a look at.

312
00:11:41,147 --> 00:11:42,813
Hope you don't mind.

313
00:11:42,815 --> 00:11:43,915
I'll glance at it.

314
00:11:45,884 --> 00:11:48,119
It's time, Dwight.
The grim reaper is here.

315
00:11:51,924 --> 00:11:54,158
The very best of luck
to you, Dwight.

316
00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:55,560
Thank you, Angela.

317
00:12:02,034 --> 00:12:04,168
Why'd you pick the VA
for the reception?

318
00:12:04,170 --> 00:12:05,736
Roy has a connection.

319
00:12:05,738 --> 00:12:07,738
It's nicer than you think.

320
00:12:09,641 --> 00:12:11,309
You're inviting Jim?

321
00:12:11,311 --> 00:12:14,445
Of course, he's one
of my closest friends.

322
00:12:16,181 --> 00:12:19,884
All right, ready?

323
00:12:19,886 --> 00:12:21,519
Here we go!

324
00:12:26,391 --> 00:12:28,426
Wow, it's a little bit bigger
than I remembered.

325
00:12:29,628 --> 00:12:32,530
Come on, we're down here
in the front.

326
00:12:55,454 --> 00:12:58,389
I am just feeling
under the weather.

327
00:12:58,391 --> 00:13:01,692
And I think that I will
go home and rest.

328
00:13:01,694 --> 00:13:04,462
I've never ever seen you
take a sick day.

329
00:13:04,464 --> 00:13:07,965
Well, I've seen you take enough
for the both of us.

330
00:13:07,967 --> 00:13:11,569
Next, I'd like to introduce
the Dunder-Miflin

331
00:13:11,571 --> 00:13:14,972
salesman of the year
Dwight Schroot!

332
00:13:20,712 --> 00:13:23,381
Dwight, they called your name.

333
00:13:23,383 --> 00:13:26,117
Dwight, how we doing?

334
00:13:26,119 --> 00:13:27,585
Okay, you know what?

335
00:13:27,587 --> 00:13:29,186
You know what?
Okay.

336
00:13:29,188 --> 00:13:30,254
No, no problem.

337
00:13:30,256 --> 00:13:31,389
You are lucky you have me here.

338
00:13:31,391 --> 00:13:32,657
I am going to cover for you.

339
00:13:32,659 --> 00:13:34,458
All right!

340
00:13:40,299 --> 00:13:44,969
Good morning, Vietnam!

341
00:13:47,739 --> 00:13:52,543
I am not Dwight Schrute.
Not at all.

342
00:13:52,545 --> 00:13:56,514
I am Michael Scott,
his mentor and boss.

343
00:13:56,516 --> 00:13:59,050
And until Dwight comes up,

344
00:13:59,052 --> 00:14:01,118
if he ever does,

345
00:14:01,820 --> 00:14:03,721
I wanted to say a few words

346
00:14:03,723 --> 00:14:05,923
about excellence.

347
00:14:05,925 --> 00:14:09,994
What makes
a work environment excellent?

348
00:14:09,996 --> 00:14:14,265
Well, there are many things,
I believe,

349
00:14:14,267 --> 00:14:17,968
that do such
a thing of that... nature.

350
00:14:17,970 --> 00:14:22,373
And one would be humor.

351
00:14:22,375 --> 00:14:26,110
What is the difference
between a salesman

352
00:14:26,112 --> 00:14:28,212
and a saleswoman?

353
00:14:37,689 --> 00:14:39,623
I always set it at 69.

354
00:14:41,259 --> 00:14:44,195
Maybe we'll use a DJ.

355
00:14:44,197 --> 00:14:45,463
That's the one thing
Roy's in charge of

356
00:14:45,465 --> 00:14:47,365
for this wedding,
but all he's managed to do

357
00:14:47,367 --> 00:14:48,866
is set a date.

358
00:14:48,868 --> 00:14:51,736
Well, he did a great job.
June 10th is perfect.

359
00:14:51,738 --> 00:14:52,837
I want a June wedding.

360
00:14:52,839 --> 00:14:55,239
I've always wanted one.

361
00:14:55,241 --> 00:14:58,909
Ryan, do you know when
you would want to get married?

362
00:14:58,911 --> 00:15:00,945
Actually, I don't see
ever getting married.

363
00:15:00,947 --> 00:15:02,313
Oh.

364
00:15:10,155 --> 00:15:11,489
Ryan, you should be
more sensitive.

365
00:15:11,491 --> 00:15:14,091
It's obvious she likes you,
and comments like that...

366
00:15:14,093 --> 00:15:15,726
I know what I said.

367
00:15:17,396 --> 00:15:18,996
I'm very sorry, I did not know

368
00:15:18,998 --> 00:15:20,398
that you were wearing
a hearing aid.

369
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:23,868
And I just thought
you were speaking abnormally.

370
00:15:25,337 --> 00:15:31,242
And now, the black guy from
the Police Academy movies.

371
00:15:31,244 --> 00:15:33,010
A robot.

372
00:15:37,250 --> 00:15:39,917
Michael Winslow.
Anyone?

373
00:15:40,786 --> 00:15:42,420
A car starting.

374
00:15:46,458 --> 00:15:48,392
All right,
Dwight Schroot, everyone.

375
00:15:50,429 --> 00:15:52,930
Good luck.
That is a tough crowd.

376
00:16:09,381 --> 00:16:12,349
Blood alone moves the wheels
of history!

377
00:16:15,153 --> 00:16:16,387
Have you ever asked yourselves

378
00:16:16,389 --> 00:16:18,355
in an hour of meditation,

379
00:16:18,357 --> 00:16:22,493
which everyone finds
during the day,

380
00:16:22,495 --> 00:16:27,164
how long we have been
striving for greatness?

381
00:16:27,166 --> 00:16:30,167
Not only the years
we've been at war,

382
00:16:30,169 --> 00:16:32,303
the war of work.

383
00:16:32,305 --> 00:16:35,539
But from the moment, as a child,

384
00:16:35,541 --> 00:16:37,341
when we realized that the world

385
00:16:37,343 --> 00:16:39,109
could be conquered.

386
00:16:40,045 --> 00:16:43,113
It has been a lifetime struggle.

387
00:16:43,115 --> 00:16:44,582
A never-ending fight.

388
00:16:44,584 --> 00:16:48,252
I say to you,
and you will understand,

389
00:16:48,254 --> 00:16:51,455
that it is a privilege to fight!

390
00:16:57,029 --> 00:16:59,630
We are warriors!

391
00:17:04,402 --> 00:17:07,104
Salesmen of Northeastern
Pennsylvania,

392
00:17:07,106 --> 00:17:10,641
I ask you, once more,
rise and be worthy

393
00:17:10,643 --> 00:17:13,043
of this historical hour!

394
00:17:21,786 --> 00:17:23,053
I got a time share on Key West

395
00:17:23,055 --> 00:17:25,089
that might be available.

396
00:17:26,224 --> 00:17:28,225
Maybe.
Thanks.

397
00:17:28,227 --> 00:17:29,827
You really think
you're gonna go?

398
00:17:29,829 --> 00:17:31,328
Yeah, I'm definitely going.

399
00:17:31,330 --> 00:17:33,998
Nice.
Send me a postcard.

400
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:35,633
Jim has worked at the
same place for five years.

401
00:17:35,635 --> 00:17:37,368
Jim eats the same
ham and cheese sandwich

402
00:17:37,370 --> 00:17:39,069
every day for lunch.

403
00:17:39,071 --> 00:17:40,704
I don't know,
if I were a betting man,

404
00:17:40,706 --> 00:17:42,673
I'd say he will have
a fun weekend

405
00:17:42,675 --> 00:17:44,008
in Philadelphia.

406
00:17:50,115 --> 00:17:53,784
No revolution is worth anything,

407
00:17:53,786 --> 00:17:56,987
unless it can defend itself!

408
00:17:59,424 --> 00:18:03,494
Some people will tell you
salesman is a bad word.

409
00:18:03,496 --> 00:18:07,731
They'll conjure up images
of used card dealers

410
00:18:07,733 --> 00:18:10,301
and door to door charlatans.

411
00:18:10,303 --> 00:18:14,004
This is our duty
to change their perception.

412
00:18:14,006 --> 00:18:18,609
I say, salesmen...
and women...

413
00:18:18,611 --> 00:18:21,679
of the world, unite.

414
00:18:21,681 --> 00:18:23,814
We must never acquiesce.

415
00:18:23,816 --> 00:18:25,816
For it is together!

416
00:18:25,818 --> 00:18:29,887
Together that we prevail!

417
00:18:29,889 --> 00:18:35,125
We must never cede control
of the motherland,

418
00:18:35,127 --> 00:18:36,794
for it is...

419
00:18:36,796 --> 00:18:40,798
Together that we prevail!

420
00:18:51,242 --> 00:18:52,476
Australia?

421
00:18:52,478 --> 00:18:53,844
I have always wanted
to go there.

422
00:18:53,846 --> 00:18:55,012
I'm going.

423
00:18:55,014 --> 00:18:56,513
I'm a little nervous
to run into Dwight

424
00:18:56,515 --> 00:18:57,881
on his connecting flight
to Mordor,

425
00:18:57,883 --> 00:19:00,084
but other than that...

426
00:19:00,086 --> 00:19:03,320
Yeah, I bought the ticket.
Non-refundable.

427
00:19:03,322 --> 00:19:04,822
That's awesome.
Where are you staying?

428
00:19:04,824 --> 00:19:05,923
I don't know.

429
00:19:05,925 --> 00:19:07,091
I feel like I have
plenty of time

430
00:19:07,093 --> 00:19:08,359
to figure out the details,
but...

431
00:19:08,361 --> 00:19:10,327
When are you leaving?

432
00:19:11,329 --> 00:19:13,831
I'm leaving on June 8th.

433
00:19:13,833 --> 00:19:14,965
Oh.

434
00:19:16,334 --> 00:19:20,137
Yeah, and I'm really sorry
about that.

435
00:19:20,139 --> 00:19:23,273
Oh, yeah, that's too bad.

436
00:19:23,275 --> 00:19:24,775
Yeah.

437
00:19:28,279 --> 00:19:30,381
Do want me to take these
on my way out?

438
00:19:30,383 --> 00:19:31,815
It's okay, I got it.

439
00:19:31,817 --> 00:19:33,751
All right.

440
00:19:36,287 --> 00:19:37,588
Thanks.

441
00:19:38,723 --> 00:19:40,290
Okay.

442
00:19:40,292 --> 00:19:41,525
There you are.
What happened?

443
00:19:41,527 --> 00:19:43,527
I got thirsty.
How'd it go?

444
00:19:43,529 --> 00:19:44,528
It was amazing.

445
00:19:44,530 --> 00:19:45,696
I wish you
would have been there.

446
00:19:45,698 --> 00:19:48,065
You would not believe
what happened here.

447
00:19:48,067 --> 00:19:49,233
What, did something happen?

448
00:19:49,235 --> 00:19:53,937
Oh, this woman came in.
Sat down.

449
00:19:53,939 --> 00:19:55,205
Ordered a drink.

450
00:19:55,207 --> 00:19:56,874
The bartender asked for her ID,

451
00:19:56,876 --> 00:19:57,908
which I thought was odd.

452
00:19:57,910 --> 00:19:59,143
Because I pegged her as,
like, 35.

453
00:19:59,145 --> 00:20:00,878
Weird.
Yeah, really weird.

454
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:02,813
So, she's like,
I don't have my ID.

455
00:20:02,815 --> 00:20:03,981
Please give me one.

456
00:20:03,983 --> 00:20:05,115
And he's like, I can't do that.

457
00:20:05,117 --> 00:20:06,583
I can't serve you.

458
00:20:06,585 --> 00:20:08,419
Con artist.
She might have been.

459
00:20:08,421 --> 00:20:10,854
So she says fine,
I will go to my room.

460
00:20:10,856 --> 00:20:12,623
I will get my purse.
I will come back.

461
00:20:12,625 --> 00:20:13,657
I'll show you my ID.

462
00:20:13,659 --> 00:20:15,059
She hasn't come back yet.

463
00:20:15,061 --> 00:20:18,829
She's probably in the room
drinking from the minibar.

464
00:20:19,998 --> 00:20:22,132
Dwight gave a great speech.

465
00:20:22,134 --> 00:20:24,068
That's the word
on the street, anyway.

466
00:20:24,070 --> 00:20:27,371
And I entertained Dwight
to no end

467
00:20:27,373 --> 00:20:28,706
with my bar story.

468
00:20:28,708 --> 00:20:32,509
So I captivated the guy
who captivated 1,000 guys.

469
00:20:33,812 --> 00:20:36,213
Can you believe that?
1,000 guys.

470
00:20:36,785 --> 00:20:46,785
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