1 00:00:00,825 --> 00:00:02,093 So Phil recruited me to sell these cards, 2 00:00:02,095 --> 00:00:03,297 and now I am recruiting you. 3 00:00:03,299 --> 00:00:04,966 Who is this guy again? 4 00:00:04,968 --> 00:00:08,373 He drives a Corvette. He is doing just fine. 5 00:00:08,375 --> 00:00:12,213 Okay, calling cards are the wave of the future. 6 00:00:12,215 --> 00:00:13,617 These things sell themselves. 7 00:00:13,619 --> 00:00:15,487 Who uses calling cards anymore? 8 00:00:15,489 --> 00:00:17,291 You know what, that's a nice attitude, Ryan. 9 00:00:17,293 --> 00:00:19,495 I'm just helping you invest in your future, my friend. 10 00:00:19,497 --> 00:00:20,764 It sounds like a get-rich-quick scheme. 11 00:00:20,766 --> 00:00:22,501 Yes. Thank you. You will get rich quick. 12 00:00:22,503 --> 00:00:24,004 We all will. 13 00:00:24,006 --> 00:00:25,674 Didn't you lose a lot of money 14 00:00:25,676 --> 00:00:28,212 on that other investment... the one from the email? 15 00:00:28,214 --> 00:00:29,882 You know what, Toby, when the son 16 00:00:29,884 --> 00:00:31,820 of the deposed king of Nigeria emails you directly 17 00:00:31,822 --> 00:00:34,392 asking for help, you help. 18 00:00:34,394 --> 00:00:36,930 His father ran the freaking country, okay? 19 00:00:36,932 --> 00:00:38,900 All right. 20 00:00:38,902 --> 00:00:40,704 So raise your hand if you want to get rich. 21 00:00:40,706 --> 00:00:43,543 All right. No. 22 00:00:43,545 --> 00:00:46,316 Um, how is this not a pyramid scheme? 23 00:00:46,318 --> 00:00:48,620 All right, let me explain again. 24 00:00:51,495 --> 00:00:54,365 Phil has recruited me and another guy. 25 00:00:54,367 --> 00:00:56,870 Now we are getting three people each. 26 00:00:56,872 --> 00:00:59,040 The more people that get involved, 27 00:00:59,042 --> 00:01:00,276 the more people 28 00:01:00,278 --> 00:01:02,147 who are investing, 29 00:01:02,149 --> 00:01:03,917 and the more money we're all gonna make. 30 00:01:03,919 --> 00:01:05,253 It's not a pyramid scheme. 31 00:01:05,255 --> 00:01:08,225 It's not even a scheme, per se, it's... 32 00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:17,945 I have to go make a call. 33 00:01:19,370 --> 00:01:25,450 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 34 00:01:58,461 --> 00:02:00,597 Happy birthday, Michael. Oh ho ho. 35 00:02:00,599 --> 00:02:02,000 What? 36 00:02:02,002 --> 00:02:03,269 I said happy birthday. 37 00:02:03,271 --> 00:02:05,374 Thank you. That's really nice. 38 00:02:05,376 --> 00:02:08,178 Today is my b-day and people around here 39 00:02:08,180 --> 00:02:09,815 just go crazy for it. 40 00:02:09,817 --> 00:02:11,486 I don't know why. 41 00:02:11,488 --> 00:02:14,692 Oh, fun fact. I share my birthday with Eva Longoria. 42 00:02:16,095 --> 00:02:18,300 So I have a perfect icebreaker 43 00:02:18,302 --> 00:02:20,737 if I ever meet Teri Hatcher. 44 00:02:20,739 --> 00:02:21,940 You excited? 45 00:02:21,942 --> 00:02:23,042 Mm-hmm. 46 00:02:23,044 --> 00:02:24,177 Everybody freaking out? 47 00:02:24,179 --> 00:02:25,347 Mm-hmm. Cool. 48 00:02:25,349 --> 00:02:27,351 Gonna be fun. You're late. 49 00:02:27,353 --> 00:02:30,591 But I forgive you because "doth it is my birthday." 50 00:02:30,593 --> 00:02:32,761 What's up? 51 00:02:35,368 --> 00:02:37,136 Oh, happy birthday. 52 00:02:37,138 --> 00:02:38,807 Ah, thank you, sir. 53 00:02:39,643 --> 00:02:41,946 Michael's birthday. 54 00:02:41,948 --> 00:02:43,450 It's pretty fun to watch, actually. 55 00:02:43,452 --> 00:02:46,389 He gets very excited, and then he eats a lot of cake. 56 00:02:46,391 --> 00:02:48,225 And then he runs around the office. 57 00:02:48,227 --> 00:02:50,397 Then he has a sugar crash in the afternoon. 58 00:02:50,399 --> 00:02:52,133 And then he falls asleep. 59 00:02:52,135 --> 00:02:55,206 And that's when we get our work done. 60 00:03:00,985 --> 00:03:02,588 Did you hear anything yet? 61 00:03:02,590 --> 00:03:05,494 No. I'm still waiting. 62 00:03:07,833 --> 00:03:09,167 Yeah. Yes. 63 00:03:09,169 --> 00:03:10,771 There he is, the birthday boy. 64 00:03:10,773 --> 00:03:12,173 Oh, God. Birthday hug. 65 00:03:12,175 --> 00:03:13,677 No, no, no. New suit. 66 00:03:13,679 --> 00:03:15,681 Please. That suit is amazing. 67 00:03:15,683 --> 00:03:18,319 Thank you very much. It is from Italy. 68 00:03:18,321 --> 00:03:20,891 Actually, no, Bulgaria. 69 00:03:20,893 --> 00:03:23,195 Maybe I should get one. 70 00:03:23,197 --> 00:03:25,467 Good luck. One of a kind. 71 00:03:25,469 --> 00:03:27,805 EBay. Question. 72 00:03:27,807 --> 00:03:29,140 May I be in charge 73 00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:30,610 of the party planning festivities? 74 00:03:30,612 --> 00:03:31,779 Not necessary. 75 00:03:31,781 --> 00:03:33,182 The party planning committee is all over it. 76 00:03:33,184 --> 00:03:35,620 They've been working 24/7 all day yesterday. 77 00:03:35,622 --> 00:03:38,593 Excellent. On my part, I did manage to reserve the... 78 00:03:38,595 --> 00:03:39,862 Don't. No. Please. 79 00:03:39,864 --> 00:03:41,566 Don't want to spoil it for anybody. 80 00:03:41,568 --> 00:03:42,868 Spoil the surprise. 81 00:03:42,870 --> 00:03:44,538 Let's get the party started. 82 00:03:44,540 --> 00:03:45,807 Let's get the party started. 83 00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:47,210 Not the way I taught you. 84 00:03:51,588 --> 00:03:53,155 When should we bring out the cake? 85 00:03:53,157 --> 00:03:54,458 1:00 or 1:30? 86 00:03:54,460 --> 00:03:57,364 1:00's good. 1:30. 87 00:03:58,300 --> 00:04:01,004 I'm sorry. Are we boring you? 88 00:04:01,006 --> 00:04:02,841 Party planning committee, listen up. 89 00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:04,144 Michael would like trick candles 90 00:04:04,146 --> 00:04:05,814 for his birthday cake. 91 00:04:05,816 --> 00:04:07,083 So make that a priority. 92 00:04:07,085 --> 00:04:08,218 Where do we get those? 93 00:04:08,220 --> 00:04:09,421 Not my problem. 94 00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:10,757 Here's a list of things 95 00:04:10,759 --> 00:04:14,164 that Michael would like to be surprised by. 96 00:04:14,166 --> 00:04:15,867 Michael wants a strippergram? 97 00:04:15,869 --> 00:04:18,873 Yes, but he doesn't want to know when or whom. 98 00:04:18,875 --> 00:04:20,176 No. 99 00:04:20,178 --> 00:04:22,481 This is a closed door meeting. 100 00:04:31,768 --> 00:04:33,303 Yeah. 101 00:04:33,305 --> 00:04:35,105 Michael, I have Jan on the line. 102 00:04:35,107 --> 00:04:36,742 Oh, great. Put her through. 103 00:04:36,744 --> 00:04:38,045 Hello, Michael. 104 00:04:38,047 --> 00:04:39,548 Hey, you. 105 00:04:39,550 --> 00:04:42,053 I'm returning your call. You said it was urgent. 106 00:04:42,055 --> 00:04:43,556 It is urgent. 107 00:04:43,558 --> 00:04:45,059 I just wanted to call and wish you a happy birthday. 108 00:04:45,061 --> 00:04:47,196 Well, today's not my birthday, so. 109 00:04:47,198 --> 00:04:51,339 Really? 'Cause I thought we had the same birthday. 110 00:04:52,976 --> 00:04:54,345 Happy birthday, Michael. 111 00:04:54,347 --> 00:04:55,547 Thanks. 112 00:04:56,450 --> 00:04:57,551 Am I on camera? 113 00:04:57,553 --> 00:05:00,957 Nope. Totally private. 114 00:05:00,959 --> 00:05:05,634 You can say whatever is in your heart. 115 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:11,011 You can take a five if you want. 116 00:05:29,114 --> 00:05:31,284 Somebody brought in donuts for my birthday. 117 00:05:31,286 --> 00:05:33,021 Happy birthday. 118 00:05:33,023 --> 00:05:34,959 Thanks. 119 00:05:38,300 --> 00:05:39,969 Man, I'm so sorry. 120 00:05:39,971 --> 00:05:41,472 When do you find out? 121 00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:43,275 They said this afternoon. 122 00:05:43,277 --> 00:05:45,212 They're waiting on a second opinion. Oh, okay. 123 00:05:45,214 --> 00:05:47,384 Second opinion on what? 124 00:05:47,386 --> 00:05:48,987 I might have skin cancer. 125 00:05:48,989 --> 00:05:50,089 Oh, no. 126 00:05:50,091 --> 00:05:51,091 I was watching Grey's Anatomy, 127 00:05:51,093 --> 00:05:52,627 and there was a lifeguard on it. 128 00:05:52,629 --> 00:05:54,765 And he had skin cancer too. Kelly, you know what... 129 00:05:54,767 --> 00:05:56,369 I never really thought about death 130 00:05:56,371 --> 00:05:57,871 until Princess Diana died. 131 00:05:57,873 --> 00:06:00,310 That was the saddest funeral ever. 132 00:06:02,047 --> 00:06:04,685 That and my sister's. 133 00:06:04,687 --> 00:06:06,087 Who brought in donuts? 134 00:06:06,089 --> 00:06:07,758 Somebody got donuts for my birthday. 135 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:09,495 Happy birthday. 136 00:06:09,497 --> 00:06:11,231 You didn't know it was my birthday. 137 00:06:11,233 --> 00:06:12,634 I guess I forgot. 138 00:06:12,636 --> 00:06:14,838 Well, I guess I forgot to give you a donut. 139 00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,109 You serious? 140 00:06:27,698 --> 00:06:29,701 Skin cancer is treatable. 141 00:06:29,703 --> 00:06:31,372 Right. It's gonna be okay. 142 00:06:31,374 --> 00:06:33,208 You don't know it's going to be okay. 143 00:06:33,210 --> 00:06:34,978 Don't give him false hope. 144 00:06:38,152 --> 00:06:41,091 It's probably nothing though. 145 00:06:41,093 --> 00:06:43,362 Hi. Delivery for Michael Scott. 146 00:06:43,364 --> 00:06:45,032 Here we go. 147 00:06:45,034 --> 00:06:47,771 Okay, this is great. 148 00:06:47,773 --> 00:06:50,343 Thank you, my friends. She is perfect. 149 00:06:50,345 --> 00:06:51,879 Uh. 150 00:06:51,881 --> 00:06:53,382 Dwight, may I have your chair, please? 151 00:06:53,384 --> 00:06:55,720 And some singles, if you will. 152 00:06:55,722 --> 00:06:57,791 All right. 153 00:07:00,899 --> 00:07:02,166 Okay. 154 00:07:02,168 --> 00:07:03,803 Um... 155 00:07:03,805 --> 00:07:05,340 All right. This has arms. 156 00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:07,276 Is that gonna be, uh... Is that all right? 157 00:07:07,278 --> 00:07:09,948 Sure. 158 00:07:09,950 --> 00:07:11,117 Okay. 159 00:07:12,421 --> 00:07:14,123 I'm so nervous. 160 00:07:15,661 --> 00:07:16,695 I can sign for it. 161 00:07:16,697 --> 00:07:18,566 Oh, thanks. 162 00:07:20,136 --> 00:07:21,505 When I was seven, 163 00:07:21,507 --> 00:07:26,982 my mother hired a pony and a cart 164 00:07:26,984 --> 00:07:29,086 to come to my house for all the kids. 165 00:07:29,088 --> 00:07:33,261 And I got a really bad rash 166 00:07:33,263 --> 00:07:34,932 from the pony. 167 00:07:34,934 --> 00:07:37,069 And all the kids got to ride the pony. 168 00:07:37,071 --> 00:07:38,472 And I had to go inside. 169 00:07:38,474 --> 00:07:40,443 And my mother was rubbing cream on me 170 00:07:40,445 --> 00:07:42,179 for probably three hours. 171 00:07:42,181 --> 00:07:44,016 And I never came outside. 172 00:07:44,018 --> 00:07:45,620 And by the time I got out, 173 00:07:45,622 --> 00:07:47,122 the pony was already in the truck 174 00:07:47,124 --> 00:07:48,326 and around the corner. 175 00:07:48,328 --> 00:07:51,130 So that was my worst birthday. 176 00:07:59,717 --> 00:08:02,721 Stop it. Stop! What is that? 177 00:08:02,723 --> 00:08:05,393 It's For The Longest Time by William Joel. 178 00:08:05,395 --> 00:08:06,762 It's your favorite song. 179 00:08:06,764 --> 00:08:08,532 Yeah, when it's on the radio. 180 00:08:08,534 --> 00:08:10,303 My birthday blows. 181 00:08:10,305 --> 00:08:13,643 Nobody even signed my birthday poster. 182 00:08:13,645 --> 00:08:15,847 Apparently my mother is the only one 183 00:08:15,849 --> 00:08:18,419 who cares enough to send me anything. 184 00:08:18,421 --> 00:08:20,055 I probably care more than she does. 185 00:08:20,057 --> 00:08:21,625 You're making it worse. 186 00:08:23,095 --> 00:08:24,498 I bet Luke Perry's friends 187 00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:27,202 don't treat him like this. 188 00:08:27,204 --> 00:08:29,073 When does he hear? 189 00:08:29,075 --> 00:08:30,710 Sometime today. 190 00:08:30,712 --> 00:08:32,947 Poor Kevin. 191 00:08:32,949 --> 00:08:35,787 If I knew I had a week to live, 192 00:08:35,789 --> 00:08:39,494 I would probably go to Europe... 193 00:08:39,496 --> 00:08:41,332 and South America... 194 00:08:41,334 --> 00:08:43,502 and the Grand Canyon... 195 00:08:43,504 --> 00:08:46,542 and I would want to see the Pacific Ocean. 196 00:08:47,878 --> 00:08:50,282 It would be a pretty busy week. 197 00:08:50,284 --> 00:08:53,823 Uh, that's a list price of $4.50. 198 00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:55,927 Unfortunately, this item is on back order. 199 00:08:58,301 --> 00:08:59,735 Michael! Michael! 200 00:08:59,737 --> 00:09:01,137 Michael, Michael, Michael. 201 00:09:01,139 --> 00:09:02,474 Come here, come here, come here. 202 00:09:02,476 --> 00:09:04,511 Listen up, everyone. 203 00:09:04,513 --> 00:09:06,682 It is 11:23 exactly. 204 00:09:06,684 --> 00:09:08,218 The exact moment 205 00:09:08,220 --> 00:09:11,057 when you emerged from your mother's vaginal canal. 206 00:09:11,059 --> 00:09:13,662 So, huh? 207 00:09:13,664 --> 00:09:15,800 Have a seat, please. Oh, God. 208 00:09:15,802 --> 00:09:18,171 There is a tradition that the Hebrews have 209 00:09:18,173 --> 00:09:20,041 of hoisting the birthday boy 210 00:09:20,043 --> 00:09:22,079 up on a chair. 211 00:09:22,081 --> 00:09:23,616 So come over, help me celebrate 212 00:09:23,618 --> 00:09:25,085 Michael's birth moment. 213 00:09:25,087 --> 00:09:26,388 Kevin. No, no, no. 214 00:09:26,390 --> 00:09:27,624 I'll do it. 215 00:09:27,626 --> 00:09:29,861 Ryan, come on. Let's do this. 216 00:09:29,863 --> 00:09:33,201 I feel like we should go get Kevin something. 217 00:09:33,203 --> 00:09:36,375 Do you think we can sneak out of here? 218 00:09:36,377 --> 00:09:39,246 Maybe, but we're going to need somebody 219 00:09:39,248 --> 00:09:40,716 to create a diversion. 220 00:09:40,718 --> 00:09:42,921 On three we're gonna hoist away! Ready? 221 00:09:42,923 --> 00:09:45,158 Happy birth moment, Michael. 222 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:47,797 Thank you. 223 00:09:47,799 --> 00:09:49,801 One, two, three. 224 00:09:49,803 --> 00:09:52,039 Whoa, whoa. All right. All right. 225 00:09:52,041 --> 00:09:53,576 Watch it, please. 226 00:09:53,578 --> 00:09:54,778 It wasn't me. 227 00:09:57,952 --> 00:10:01,157 Okay, that is not an eight-foot sub. 228 00:10:01,159 --> 00:10:02,494 We don't make an eight-foot sub. 229 00:10:02,496 --> 00:10:03,762 This is eight one-foot subs. 230 00:10:05,066 --> 00:10:06,267 F. 231 00:10:06,269 --> 00:10:08,104 All right, what's the damage? 232 00:10:08,106 --> 00:10:10,242 39.60. 233 00:10:12,481 --> 00:10:15,118 39. 234 00:10:20,564 --> 00:10:21,798 60. 235 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,302 Why tip someone for a job 236 00:10:23,304 --> 00:10:24,571 I'm capable of doing myself? 237 00:10:24,573 --> 00:10:26,073 I can deliver food. 238 00:10:26,075 --> 00:10:27,877 I can drive a taxi. 239 00:10:27,879 --> 00:10:30,917 I can and do cut my own hair. 240 00:10:30,919 --> 00:10:33,054 I did, however, tip my urologist 241 00:10:33,056 --> 00:10:38,299 because I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones. 242 00:10:38,301 --> 00:10:39,868 Here they come. 243 00:10:39,870 --> 00:10:41,037 Get in here. 244 00:10:41,039 --> 00:10:42,740 Come and get it. Everybody. 245 00:10:42,742 --> 00:10:44,811 Birthday party subs. My gift to you. 246 00:10:44,813 --> 00:10:45,880 What is this? 247 00:10:45,882 --> 00:10:47,884 Baloney, tomato, and ketchup. The best. 248 00:10:47,886 --> 00:10:49,688 These are all the same. Yes. 249 00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:51,658 Baloney? I don't eat baloney. 250 00:10:51,660 --> 00:10:54,163 Well, then just have the tomato and ketchup. 251 00:10:54,165 --> 00:10:55,366 Still good. No. 252 00:10:55,368 --> 00:10:57,135 Just the bread. It's fresh baked. 253 00:10:57,137 --> 00:10:58,372 No. 254 00:11:00,877 --> 00:11:03,816 - Get whatever you want. - You can choke on it. 255 00:11:03,818 --> 00:11:05,553 When I was 16, 256 00:11:05,555 --> 00:11:08,392 I was supposed to go out on a date 257 00:11:08,394 --> 00:11:11,298 with a girl named Julie. 258 00:11:12,701 --> 00:11:14,537 But there was another Michael in the class 259 00:11:14,539 --> 00:11:17,710 that she apparently thought the date was with. 260 00:11:17,712 --> 00:11:20,583 So she went out with him on my birthday. 261 00:11:20,585 --> 00:11:24,557 And she got him a cake at the restaurant. 262 00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:27,095 And it wasn't even his birthday. 263 00:11:27,097 --> 00:11:28,966 But I heard about it the next day in school. 264 00:11:28,968 --> 00:11:33,274 So that was the worst birthday I think I ever had. 265 00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:35,780 So we got Kev some stuff. 266 00:11:35,782 --> 00:11:39,286 Um, party pack of M&Ms, his favorite candy. 267 00:11:39,288 --> 00:11:42,560 A DVD of American Pie 2, which is his favorite movie. 268 00:11:42,562 --> 00:11:44,096 And he lent it to Creed. 269 00:11:44,098 --> 00:11:46,702 So I can guarantee you he won't get that back. 270 00:11:46,704 --> 00:11:48,706 69 Cup of Noodles. 271 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,275 Which we realize sounds crass, 272 00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:51,945 but it is his favorite number. 273 00:11:51,947 --> 00:11:53,882 And his favorite lunch. 274 00:11:56,856 --> 00:11:58,859 Hey, temp, you know, uh, 275 00:11:58,861 --> 00:12:00,830 we still got five feet of sandwich left. 276 00:12:00,832 --> 00:12:03,101 Someone ate three feet of that thing? 277 00:12:03,103 --> 00:12:04,370 Hell, yeah. 278 00:12:04,372 --> 00:12:06,207 Save room for ice cream cake. 279 00:12:06,209 --> 00:12:08,077 Thank you. Oh, I got it. 280 00:12:08,079 --> 00:12:10,883 The party planner committee. 281 00:12:10,885 --> 00:12:13,121 This is the most important day of the year. 282 00:12:13,123 --> 00:12:14,891 I can't risk anything. 283 00:12:16,094 --> 00:12:18,097 Fine. 284 00:12:18,099 --> 00:12:20,001 What about that meeting later 285 00:12:20,003 --> 00:12:24,042 to discuss finances? 286 00:12:24,779 --> 00:12:25,813 Yes. 287 00:12:25,815 --> 00:12:28,519 But don't expect any cookie. 288 00:12:28,521 --> 00:12:31,658 But what if I'm hungry? 289 00:12:31,660 --> 00:12:34,731 No cookie. 290 00:12:51,399 --> 00:12:52,767 What? 291 00:12:52,769 --> 00:12:54,604 You use fabric softener? 292 00:12:54,606 --> 00:12:57,275 Yeah. You don't? No, I do. 293 00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,614 Okay. 294 00:13:13,777 --> 00:13:16,715 Hello. Hey. 295 00:13:16,717 --> 00:13:19,052 Kevin. 296 00:13:19,054 --> 00:13:20,956 Respect the birthday, please. 297 00:13:20,958 --> 00:13:24,631 No, not yet. I will. Thanks. 298 00:13:24,633 --> 00:13:27,637 It was just Stacey. Are you done? 299 00:13:27,639 --> 00:13:29,607 Good. 300 00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:31,210 Okay. Here we go. 301 00:13:31,212 --> 00:13:32,580 Make a wish. I'm gonna... 302 00:13:32,582 --> 00:13:33,749 blow out the candles. Okay. 303 00:13:33,751 --> 00:13:35,586 Mmm. 304 00:13:36,756 --> 00:13:39,861 Yeah! Yay! 305 00:13:41,365 --> 00:13:43,302 I asked for trick candles. 306 00:13:43,304 --> 00:13:45,071 Pam was supposed to get them. 307 00:13:45,073 --> 00:13:47,977 Well, when she comes back, we'll do it again. 308 00:13:47,979 --> 00:13:49,681 Hello. 309 00:13:49,683 --> 00:13:51,551 What about the birthday boy? 310 00:13:51,553 --> 00:13:53,855 Haven't had a hug all day. 311 00:13:54,992 --> 00:13:56,461 No one cares about your birthday. 312 00:13:56,463 --> 00:13:59,667 Kevin's waiting to hear if he has skin cancer. 313 00:14:06,549 --> 00:14:09,520 Ha, that sucks. 314 00:14:09,522 --> 00:14:10,589 Great. 315 00:14:13,161 --> 00:14:18,070 Wow, that's good timing. 316 00:14:18,072 --> 00:14:20,743 Sorry. That's terrible. Terrible news. 317 00:14:20,745 --> 00:14:22,613 That's terrible... 318 00:14:22,615 --> 00:14:24,384 terrible news for both of us. 319 00:14:33,770 --> 00:14:37,075 We should probably head back. Yeah. Okay. 320 00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:39,380 Oh, I dare you to make an announcement. 321 00:14:39,382 --> 00:14:41,618 You dare me? How old are you? 322 00:14:41,620 --> 00:14:43,722 Just quit stalling. 323 00:14:43,724 --> 00:14:48,999 Luke, this is your father. 324 00:14:49,001 --> 00:14:52,640 Come set the table for dinner. 325 00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:54,142 Such a dork. 326 00:14:55,012 --> 00:14:56,714 Jim Halpert, 327 00:14:56,716 --> 00:14:58,718 price check on fabric softener. 328 00:14:58,720 --> 00:14:59,987 The kind... 329 00:14:59,989 --> 00:15:01,324 Ma'am, please don't touch that. 330 00:15:01,326 --> 00:15:02,560 That is not a toy. 331 00:15:02,562 --> 00:15:05,799 I'm sorry. Sorry. 332 00:15:05,801 --> 00:15:08,137 How old are you? 333 00:15:08,139 --> 00:15:10,375 I hate you. 334 00:15:10,377 --> 00:15:11,678 Honestly, is there any way 335 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,348 you can get on your fiancee's plan? 336 00:15:13,350 --> 00:15:14,684 Our health plan is... it's terrible. 337 00:15:14,686 --> 00:15:16,019 There you are. Good news. 338 00:15:16,021 --> 00:15:17,523 Did some research. 339 00:15:17,525 --> 00:15:19,660 It turns out that 98% 340 00:15:19,662 --> 00:15:21,431 of people with skin cancer fully recover. 341 00:15:22,367 --> 00:15:23,535 Still scary. 342 00:15:23,537 --> 00:15:25,873 Yeah. But it's not brain cancer. 343 00:15:25,875 --> 00:15:28,345 And it shouldn't stop us from having fun. 344 00:15:28,347 --> 00:15:31,183 You know what they say the best medicine is. 345 00:15:31,185 --> 00:15:32,586 Well, the doctor said a combination 346 00:15:32,588 --> 00:15:34,824 of Interferon and Dacarbazine. 347 00:15:34,826 --> 00:15:37,863 And laughter also. 348 00:15:37,865 --> 00:15:40,536 I don't really think people are in the laughing mood. 349 00:15:40,538 --> 00:15:42,506 Why are you here? 350 00:15:42,508 --> 00:15:44,644 I didn't even invite you to my birthday party. 351 00:15:44,646 --> 00:15:46,814 I work here. 352 00:15:46,816 --> 00:15:47,983 "I work here." All right. 353 00:15:47,985 --> 00:15:49,320 Well, you know what, 354 00:15:49,322 --> 00:15:50,656 since Toby doesn't speak for everybody 355 00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:51,858 and I am your boss, 356 00:15:51,860 --> 00:15:53,461 I think you should just go home. 357 00:15:53,463 --> 00:15:54,597 Take the rest of the afternoon off. 358 00:15:54,599 --> 00:15:55,699 Take a sick day. 359 00:15:55,701 --> 00:15:56,935 If I go home now, 360 00:15:56,937 --> 00:15:59,039 I'll just drive myself crazy. 361 00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:00,041 Well, you're pretty much 362 00:16:00,043 --> 00:16:01,611 driving everybody else here crazy. 363 00:16:04,518 --> 00:16:06,454 Crazy with worry. 364 00:16:32,574 --> 00:16:33,608 Where have you been? 365 00:16:33,610 --> 00:16:34,677 And don't say the bathroom, 366 00:16:34,679 --> 00:16:36,079 'cause I kicked in all the stalls. 367 00:16:36,081 --> 00:16:37,383 Well, that's an invasion of privacy. 368 00:16:37,385 --> 00:16:39,520 So I'm going to tell Michael. 369 00:16:39,522 --> 00:16:40,922 Please don't. 370 00:16:40,924 --> 00:16:42,793 You owe me. 371 00:16:42,795 --> 00:16:44,262 Excuse me, everyone. 372 00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:47,503 Attention, please. 373 00:16:47,505 --> 00:16:49,407 Kevin, 374 00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:51,544 we're going to take you to a very special place. 375 00:16:51,546 --> 00:16:53,213 A place that will make you happy 376 00:16:53,215 --> 00:16:57,255 and a place that is far, far away from the evil sun. 377 00:16:57,257 --> 00:16:58,958 Is this trip in any way related 378 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:01,029 to your birthday? 379 00:17:01,031 --> 00:17:04,603 How dare you, sir? You're gross. 380 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:07,343 That should not be there. 381 00:17:07,345 --> 00:17:08,578 I'll get someone to take it down. 382 00:17:08,580 --> 00:17:09,680 No, it's all right. It's already up. 383 00:17:09,682 --> 00:17:10,816 Just leave it. 384 00:17:10,818 --> 00:17:11,884 Where's Kevin? Come on. 385 00:17:11,886 --> 00:17:13,688 Let's get our skate on. 386 00:17:15,526 --> 00:17:16,761 Don't be scared. You're good. 387 00:17:16,763 --> 00:17:19,165 Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're good. 388 00:17:19,167 --> 00:17:20,234 Oh, hi. 389 00:17:26,180 --> 00:17:29,052 Think you can let go? No. 390 00:17:29,054 --> 00:17:31,391 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 391 00:17:31,393 --> 00:17:32,726 Yeah! 392 00:17:32,728 --> 00:17:34,262 Is that Michael? 393 00:17:34,264 --> 00:17:36,901 Yeah, I've been pretty much skating my whole life. 394 00:17:36,903 --> 00:17:39,105 I thought about playing in the NHL. 395 00:17:39,107 --> 00:17:41,009 But you're on the road so much. 396 00:17:41,011 --> 00:17:43,648 Get no time to spend with your wife and kids. 397 00:17:43,650 --> 00:17:45,852 And I really want a wife and kids. 398 00:17:47,122 --> 00:17:48,725 Aaaaah! 399 00:17:48,727 --> 00:17:50,328 Ha ha ha ha. 400 00:17:51,865 --> 00:17:53,233 I got it. 401 00:17:54,504 --> 00:17:57,041 Hey, Pam, all the stuff with Kevin, 402 00:17:57,043 --> 00:17:59,346 um, it's pretty scary. 403 00:17:59,348 --> 00:18:02,118 And I'm thinking that next time you're in the shower, 404 00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:03,321 you should check yourself out. 405 00:18:03,323 --> 00:18:04,657 You know, give yourself an exam. 406 00:18:04,659 --> 00:18:07,161 Those things are like ticking time bags. 407 00:18:07,163 --> 00:18:09,700 All right? Think about it. 408 00:18:12,272 --> 00:18:14,810 Something to think about. 409 00:18:14,812 --> 00:18:16,547 Just can't relax about it... Kevin. 410 00:18:16,549 --> 00:18:19,052 Have you heard anything yet? 411 00:18:19,054 --> 00:18:20,522 No, not yet. 412 00:18:20,524 --> 00:18:21,757 Okay, well, Livestrong. 413 00:18:21,759 --> 00:18:23,093 Okay, Michael. 414 00:18:23,095 --> 00:18:24,430 Michael? 415 00:18:24,432 --> 00:18:26,099 Yeah. Carole? 416 00:18:26,101 --> 00:18:28,070 She sold me my condo. 417 00:18:28,072 --> 00:18:32,245 Hey, was this place on the market or... 418 00:18:32,247 --> 00:18:34,249 No, I don't just sell real estate. 419 00:18:34,251 --> 00:18:36,219 My daughter has a skating lesson. 420 00:18:36,221 --> 00:18:38,056 Oh, these all your kids? 421 00:18:38,058 --> 00:18:40,896 No, just the front two. 422 00:18:40,898 --> 00:18:43,368 Oh, hey, guys. What's up? You want to go for a ride? 423 00:18:43,370 --> 00:18:44,904 Is that okay? Sure. 424 00:18:44,906 --> 00:18:46,307 Cool. All right. Grab on. 425 00:18:46,309 --> 00:18:48,210 Here we go. You ready? 426 00:18:48,212 --> 00:18:51,584 Hang on tight. All right. 427 00:18:51,586 --> 00:18:55,392 We are moving. We are really moving now. 428 00:18:59,668 --> 00:19:01,470 Push. Good. That's great. You got it. 429 00:19:03,175 --> 00:19:04,743 'Scuse me. 430 00:19:06,515 --> 00:19:10,455 Hello. Yeah, okay. 431 00:19:12,059 --> 00:19:13,661 All right. 432 00:19:15,098 --> 00:19:17,068 Okay, I will. Thanks. 433 00:19:18,271 --> 00:19:19,974 It's negative. 434 00:19:21,980 --> 00:19:23,213 God. 435 00:19:29,594 --> 00:19:31,262 We're going to beat this, okay? 436 00:19:31,264 --> 00:19:34,670 We're gonna... Come here. 437 00:19:36,207 --> 00:19:38,010 Well, apparently, in the medicine community, 438 00:19:38,012 --> 00:19:39,747 negative means good, 439 00:19:39,749 --> 00:19:41,884 which makes absolutely no sense. 440 00:19:41,886 --> 00:19:45,392 In the real world community, 441 00:19:45,394 --> 00:19:49,333 that would be chaos. 442 00:19:49,335 --> 00:19:52,372 This is awesome. 443 00:19:52,374 --> 00:19:55,010 Thanks, you guys. 444 00:19:55,012 --> 00:19:57,248 Okay, who's this from? 445 00:19:59,554 --> 00:20:02,726 Wowie. Look at that jersey. 446 00:20:02,728 --> 00:20:04,930 Turn it around. Turn it around. 447 00:20:04,932 --> 00:20:07,068 Cool. Oh. Show it. 448 00:20:07,070 --> 00:20:08,671 Great. From Dwight. 449 00:20:08,673 --> 00:20:10,542 Number one! Thank you, Dwight. 450 00:20:10,544 --> 00:20:11,844 That's great. Thanks. 451 00:20:11,846 --> 00:20:13,815 Michael, this is from all of us. 452 00:20:13,817 --> 00:20:16,587 Oh, you didn't need to do that. 453 00:20:18,859 --> 00:20:22,899 Night Swept. This is really amazing. 454 00:20:22,901 --> 00:20:23,968 Thank you. 455 00:20:23,970 --> 00:20:25,204 I love it. 456 00:20:26,073 --> 00:20:29,379 Michael's birthday was actually pretty cool. 457 00:20:29,381 --> 00:20:31,049 It was a good day. 458 00:20:31,051 --> 00:20:34,790 I don't know. It was a good day. 459 00:20:35,831 --> 00:20:45,841 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.