1
00:00:01,783 --> 00:00:03,781
- Pam?
- Yeah?

2
00:00:03,783 --> 00:00:05,448
Did you see Oprah yesterday?

3
00:00:05,450 --> 00:00:07,082
No, I didn't.

4
00:00:07,084 --> 00:00:09,548
I, uh...

5
00:00:09,550 --> 00:00:11,581
I am going to be a father.

6
00:00:13,249 --> 00:00:14,448
What was Oprah about?

7
00:00:14,450 --> 00:00:16,915
Angelina Jolie was on.

8
00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:18,815
And she adopted a baby from Asia

9
00:00:18,817 --> 00:00:20,848
and she said that
it changed her life.

10
00:00:20,850 --> 00:00:23,248
And that really inspired me.

11
00:00:23,250 --> 00:00:25,748
So I want you to look in
to see how much

12
00:00:25,750 --> 00:00:29,048
a little Chinese baby
would cost.

13
00:00:29,050 --> 00:00:31,848
That's a really big decision.

14
00:00:31,850 --> 00:00:34,115
I know.

15
00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:35,815
Maybe you should wait
before you adopt.

16
00:00:35,817 --> 00:00:37,348
Or not adopt.

17
00:00:37,350 --> 00:00:39,715
Just do it, okay?

18
00:00:39,717 --> 00:00:41,614
Roy's sister looked into it.

19
00:00:41,616 --> 00:00:43,815
And the application alone
costs $1,000.

20
00:00:46,049 --> 00:00:47,581
Um...

21
00:00:47,583 --> 00:00:50,414
Find out if there's a cheaper...

22
00:00:50,416 --> 00:00:52,915
Less expensive baby
out there, okay?

23
00:00:52,917 --> 00:00:54,948
You know... she also said
the waiting list

24
00:00:54,950 --> 00:00:56,048
is like eight months.

25
00:00:56,050 --> 00:00:57,681
- Eight months?
- Yeah.

26
00:00:57,683 --> 00:00:59,115
I don't even know if I want
a baby in eight months.

27
00:00:59,117 --> 00:01:00,581
Probably won't.

28
00:01:04,415 --> 00:01:07,614
You know, Pam,
if in ten years...

29
00:01:07,616 --> 00:01:09,015
I haven't had a baby,

30
00:01:09,017 --> 00:01:10,381
and you haven't had a baby...

31
00:01:10,383 --> 00:01:11,514
No, Michael.

32
00:01:13,083 --> 00:01:14,414
- 20 years.
- No, Michael.

33
00:01:14,416 --> 00:01:15,981
30.

34
00:01:18,216 --> 00:01:19,281
Sure.

35
00:01:20,615 --> 00:01:22,781
It's a deal.

36
00:01:24,264 --> 00:01:30,331
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

37
00:01:54,649 --> 00:01:55,748
All right, three pairs of pants.

38
00:01:55,750 --> 00:01:56,748
Mm-hmm.

39
00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:58,215
- Three pairs of socks.
- Mm-hmm.

40
00:01:58,217 --> 00:02:00,082
Three packs of condoms.

41
00:02:00,084 --> 00:02:02,182
Yeeeash.

42
00:02:02,184 --> 00:02:03,481
Uh, fun jeans.

43
00:02:06,816 --> 00:02:07,848
Ah.

44
00:02:07,850 --> 00:02:10,182
Sign.
Per diem.

45
00:02:10,184 --> 00:02:12,548
Guess where I am going?

46
00:02:12,550 --> 00:02:13,848
I will give you a hint.

47
00:02:13,850 --> 00:02:15,281
It is a booze-fueled
sex romp

48
00:02:15,283 --> 00:02:16,314
where anything goes.

49
00:02:16,316 --> 00:02:18,182
You are correct sir!

50
00:02:18,184 --> 00:02:20,381
I am headed to Philadelphia
for the annual

51
00:02:20,383 --> 00:02:23,514
Northeastern Mid-market
Office Supply Convention.

52
00:02:23,516 --> 00:02:25,614
And Jim Halpert
is going to be coming,

53
00:02:25,616 --> 00:02:27,348
which will be fun.

54
00:02:27,350 --> 00:02:30,115
Poor little guy has been stuck

55
00:02:30,117 --> 00:02:32,314
working under Josh.

56
00:02:32,316 --> 00:02:34,348
The poor man's Michael Scott,

57
00:02:34,350 --> 00:02:36,381
as he is known around my condo.

58
00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:40,082
Don't be mad.
It is a business trip.

59
00:02:40,084 --> 00:02:43,082
But I don't understand.
It's for managers.

60
00:02:43,084 --> 00:02:44,881
Monkey, I am an ARM.

61
00:02:44,883 --> 00:02:45,981
Assistant Regional Manager.

62
00:02:45,983 --> 00:02:47,781
I know.

63
00:02:49,549 --> 00:02:50,514
I was just really hoping
we could

64
00:02:50,516 --> 00:02:52,181
spend some time together.

65
00:02:56,282 --> 00:02:57,848
Are you still there?
Yes, Monkey.

66
00:02:57,850 --> 00:02:59,681
Don't monkey me.

67
00:02:59,683 --> 00:03:03,314
You can't wait
to get out of here, ARM.

68
00:03:03,316 --> 00:03:06,015
In the Martin family,
we like to say...

69
00:03:06,017 --> 00:03:07,548
looks like someone
took the slow train

70
00:03:07,550 --> 00:03:09,281
from Philly.

71
00:03:09,283 --> 00:03:13,348
That's code for
"Check out the slut."

72
00:03:13,350 --> 00:03:15,881
What is...

73
00:03:15,883 --> 00:03:17,015
Why are there flies in here?

74
00:03:17,017 --> 00:03:18,414
Oh, my God!

75
00:03:18,416 --> 00:03:20,015
Are you so excited for tonight?

76
00:03:20,017 --> 00:03:21,247
I'm so excited... you guys
are gonna click.

77
00:03:21,249 --> 00:03:22,448
I can feel it.

78
00:03:22,450 --> 00:03:23,748
So what are you wearing?

79
00:03:23,750 --> 00:03:25,381
This.

80
00:03:28,515 --> 00:03:30,781
You look so pretty.

81
00:03:30,783 --> 00:03:34,414
Thank you.

82
00:03:34,416 --> 00:03:36,082
Yes, I have a date.

83
00:03:36,084 --> 00:03:38,881
He's a cartoonist
for the local paper.

84
00:03:38,883 --> 00:03:40,015
Which is really neat,

85
00:03:40,017 --> 00:03:43,748
because I like to draw too.

86
00:03:43,750 --> 00:03:45,981
I'm kind of nervous.

87
00:03:45,983 --> 00:03:47,548
I haven't been on a first date

88
00:03:47,550 --> 00:03:51,414
in nine years.

89
00:03:51,416 --> 00:03:55,082
Probably shouldn't
broadcast that.

90
00:03:55,084 --> 00:03:56,614
Well, remember, no matter
how much you may want to,

91
00:03:56,616 --> 00:03:58,015
do not sleep with him
on the first date.

92
00:03:58,017 --> 00:04:00,181
It gives him all the power.

93
00:04:00,183 --> 00:04:01,181
Sleep with who?

94
00:04:01,183 --> 00:04:03,247
Whom.
Whom?

95
00:04:03,249 --> 00:04:04,247
My neighbor Allen.

96
00:04:04,249 --> 00:04:05,281
They're going on a date tonight.

97
00:04:05,283 --> 00:04:06,448
Oh, wow.

98
00:04:06,450 --> 00:04:08,414
Oh, my God.
I have a great idea.

99
00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:10,048
You know what you should do?
Be hilarious?

100
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:11,815
Wear your wedding dress.

101
00:04:11,817 --> 00:04:14,981
That would be
a great icebreaker.

102
00:04:14,983 --> 00:04:16,181
And your veil.
Yeah.

103
00:04:16,183 --> 00:04:17,614
Do it.

104
00:04:17,616 --> 00:04:18,614
I'll probably just wear this.

105
00:04:18,616 --> 00:04:20,481
Really?
Okay.

106
00:04:20,483 --> 00:04:21,648
Well, a word of advice,

107
00:04:21,650 --> 00:04:23,147
unbutton that top button.

108
00:04:23,149 --> 00:04:24,614
Let those things breathe.

109
00:04:24,616 --> 00:04:26,481
Any message you want me
to relate to Jim?

110
00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:28,381
Um...

111
00:04:28,383 --> 00:04:30,214
Um.
Okay, um.

112
00:04:30,216 --> 00:04:31,281
- Um.
- You got that?

113
00:04:31,283 --> 00:04:32,281
I got it.
Write it down.

114
00:04:32,283 --> 00:04:34,081
Um.
Um...

115
00:04:41,215 --> 00:04:43,815
There's my girl.

116
00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:46,448
I noticed you
handing out some shekels.

117
00:04:46,450 --> 00:04:48,314
How would one get on that train?

118
00:04:48,316 --> 00:04:50,048
That was per diem
for Philadelphia.

119
00:04:50,050 --> 00:04:52,181
Ugh, that town
smells like cheese steaks.

120
00:04:52,183 --> 00:04:54,781
That town is full of history.

121
00:04:57,949 --> 00:04:59,915
Andrea's the office bitch.

122
00:04:59,917 --> 00:05:02,381
You'll get used to her.

123
00:05:02,383 --> 00:05:05,081
Mmm.

124
00:05:05,083 --> 00:05:08,648
Creed.

125
00:05:11,215 --> 00:05:13,948
Can I have my neck pillow back?

126
00:05:13,950 --> 00:05:15,915
Michael!

127
00:05:15,917 --> 00:05:18,548
Can I have my neck pillow back?

128
00:05:21,482 --> 00:05:22,781
Hey, Michael.

129
00:05:22,783 --> 00:05:23,781
Hey, Josh, how you doing?

130
00:05:23,783 --> 00:05:24,815
Pretty good.
How you doing?

131
00:05:24,817 --> 00:05:26,214
Great to see you.
There he is.

132
00:05:26,216 --> 00:05:27,214
There's the traitor.

133
00:05:27,216 --> 00:05:28,247
Traitor!
Traitor!

134
00:05:28,249 --> 00:05:30,281
Come here, you.
Come here!

135
00:05:30,283 --> 00:05:32,614
Aaagh!

136
00:05:32,616 --> 00:05:35,114
The product... the progidal...

137
00:05:35,116 --> 00:05:37,548
My son returns.

138
00:05:37,550 --> 00:05:38,614
I was shocked when he told me

139
00:05:38,616 --> 00:05:39,781
he was transferring to Stamford.

140
00:05:39,783 --> 00:05:41,147
It's like with firemen.

141
00:05:41,149 --> 00:05:43,648
You don't leave
your brothers behind.

142
00:05:43,650 --> 00:05:46,381
Even if you find out
that there is

143
00:05:46,383 --> 00:05:49,314
a better fire in Connecticut.

144
00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:51,314
Really good to see you, man.

145
00:05:51,316 --> 00:05:54,314
Yeah.
Wow.

146
00:05:54,316 --> 00:05:55,414
I didn't expect that.

147
00:05:55,416 --> 00:05:58,981
It's good to see you too.

148
00:05:58,983 --> 00:06:01,915
Oh, hey.
How's it going up there?

149
00:06:01,917 --> 00:06:03,781
Have you made any sales yet?

150
00:06:03,783 --> 00:06:05,147
Yeah, sold about 40,000.

151
00:06:05,149 --> 00:06:07,181
Shut up.
That's impossible.

152
00:06:07,183 --> 00:06:08,381
No, it's not.
And I did.

153
00:06:08,383 --> 00:06:09,414
Yeah.

154
00:06:09,416 --> 00:06:11,781
Well, I did it too.

155
00:06:11,783 --> 00:06:14,114
You know, when I saw Dwight,

156
00:06:14,116 --> 00:06:16,348
I realized how stupid and petty

157
00:06:16,350 --> 00:06:19,748
all those pranks
I pulled on him were.

158
00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:22,214
And then he spoke.

159
00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:24,014
I wonder how hard it would be
to get a copy

160
00:06:24,016 --> 00:06:25,081
of his room key.

161
00:06:25,083 --> 00:06:26,815
So did you hear?

162
00:06:26,817 --> 00:06:27,848
What?

163
00:06:27,850 --> 00:06:29,381
Pam's back on the market again.

164
00:06:29,383 --> 00:06:30,414
Really?
She's dating?

165
00:06:30,416 --> 00:06:32,748
Oh, if I weren't engaged,

166
00:06:32,750 --> 00:06:35,481
I would so hit that.

167
00:06:38,716 --> 00:06:41,381
So what kind of commissions
you get up there?

168
00:06:41,383 --> 00:06:44,748
Oh, Dwight,
I missed you so much.

169
00:06:44,750 --> 00:06:46,514
You're so immature.

170
00:06:48,082 --> 00:06:50,348
Listen, Michael, I heard you
were a great salesman.

171
00:06:50,350 --> 00:06:51,815
And I just wanna let you know

172
00:06:51,817 --> 00:06:53,514
that if our branch
absorbs your branch,

173
00:06:53,516 --> 00:06:55,881
I'm gonna look for a place
for you in Stamford.

174
00:06:55,883 --> 00:06:56,881
Oh, hey!

175
00:06:56,883 --> 00:06:57,881
Hey, Jan.

176
00:06:57,883 --> 00:06:58,947
We all checked in?

177
00:06:58,949 --> 00:07:00,114
Yes.
Great.

178
00:07:00,116 --> 00:07:01,681
Let's dump our stuff
and meet back

179
00:07:01,683 --> 00:07:02,715
down here in a half an hour.

180
00:07:02,717 --> 00:07:03,781
Okay.

181
00:07:03,783 --> 00:07:05,715
Jan?

182
00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:07,348
Look, I think we need
to set some ground rules.

183
00:07:07,350 --> 00:07:09,081
What are you talking about?

184
00:07:09,083 --> 00:07:11,648
The 800-pound gorilla
in the room.

185
00:07:11,650 --> 00:07:14,081
Carol.
I'm still dating her.

186
00:07:14,083 --> 00:07:16,314
So nothing can happen between us

187
00:07:16,316 --> 00:07:17,581
at the convention.

188
00:07:17,583 --> 00:07:18,980
Step away from me, Michael.

189
00:07:18,982 --> 00:07:23,147
Thank you for being
so brave with all of this.

190
00:07:23,149 --> 00:07:25,281
Thank you.

191
00:07:30,717 --> 00:07:33,081
Allen's cartoon
is so funny, right?

192
00:07:33,083 --> 00:07:34,081
Mm-hmm.

193
00:07:34,083 --> 00:07:35,681
And they're, like, so smart.

194
00:07:35,683 --> 00:07:40,047
I don't even know
what they mean half the time.

195
00:07:56,750 --> 00:07:58,748
That is specifically why I chose

196
00:07:58,750 --> 00:08:02,748
a room close to the elevator.
More foot traffic.

197
00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:04,481
Check it out.

198
00:08:04,483 --> 00:08:06,980
That is crooked on that side.

199
00:08:06,982 --> 00:08:08,214
Wow.

200
00:08:08,216 --> 00:08:10,381
Hey hey!

201
00:08:10,383 --> 00:08:11,481
That is a lot of liquor.

202
00:08:11,483 --> 00:08:12,481
Yeah.

203
00:08:12,483 --> 00:08:13,815
And a dart board.

204
00:08:13,817 --> 00:08:14,914
Well, that's how
we do it in Scranton.

205
00:08:14,916 --> 00:08:16,947
Or did you forget?

206
00:08:23,882 --> 00:08:25,947
We should probably
head on down, you know,

207
00:08:25,949 --> 00:08:26,947
hook up with Jan.

208
00:08:26,949 --> 00:08:27,947
Well, we have time.

209
00:08:27,949 --> 00:08:30,081
One for the road, gentlemen?

210
00:08:30,083 --> 00:08:31,880
A shot of Midori, perhaps.

211
00:08:37,349 --> 00:08:38,581
Oh, no, sorry,
it's an inside joke.

212
00:08:38,583 --> 00:08:42,014
There was this bartender
in Stamford who...

213
00:08:42,016 --> 00:08:43,648
You know what?
You just have to be there.

214
00:08:43,650 --> 00:08:45,748
Wish I was.

215
00:08:45,750 --> 00:08:46,880
I love inside jokes.

216
00:08:46,882 --> 00:08:50,481
Love to be a part of one
someday.

217
00:08:54,115 --> 00:08:55,414
Um, we should...

218
00:08:55,416 --> 00:08:56,481
Yeah, all right.

219
00:08:56,483 --> 00:08:57,548
All right, see you guys
down there.

220
00:08:57,550 --> 00:08:59,047
See you guys.

221
00:08:59,049 --> 00:09:00,847
Change your mind, come back up.

222
00:09:00,849 --> 00:09:02,147
I'll do a shot
with you, Michael.

223
00:09:02,149 --> 00:09:03,448
Yechh, don't be gross.

224
00:09:03,450 --> 00:09:09,481
It's not even lunch yet.

225
00:09:09,483 --> 00:09:11,348
SWAG!

226
00:09:11,350 --> 00:09:13,648
Stuff We All Get.

227
00:09:13,650 --> 00:09:15,847
I basically decorated
my condo for free

228
00:09:15,849 --> 00:09:18,448
with all of my SWAG!

229
00:09:18,450 --> 00:09:20,648
Check it out.

230
00:09:20,650 --> 00:09:22,614
Hi, I'm Michael Scott.
Dunder Mifflin.

231
00:09:22,616 --> 00:09:23,814
Dwight Schrute.

232
00:09:23,816 --> 00:09:24,880
Assistant Regional Manager,
Dunder Mifflin.

233
00:09:24,882 --> 00:09:26,481
I am a huge fan.

234
00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:27,715
Thanks.
I appreciate it, guys.

235
00:09:27,717 --> 00:09:28,780
You know what?

236
00:09:28,782 --> 00:09:30,980
I am having
a big blowout tonight, room 308.

237
00:09:30,982 --> 00:09:32,047
Hope you can come.

238
00:09:32,049 --> 00:09:33,047
I... maybe.
If I can.

239
00:09:33,049 --> 00:09:34,247
Well, cool!

240
00:09:34,249 --> 00:09:37,114
Okay, so can I tell people
you're gonna be there?

241
00:09:37,116 --> 00:09:38,648
No, you cannot.

242
00:09:38,650 --> 00:09:41,114
So maybe.
See ya.

243
00:09:41,116 --> 00:09:42,748
Why do they call him The Bus?

244
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:43,780
Because he's afraid to fly.

245
00:09:43,782 --> 00:09:45,448
Smile.

246
00:09:45,450 --> 00:09:47,381
Do you remember me
from last year?

247
00:09:47,383 --> 00:09:49,748
There's a party in my room, 308.

248
00:09:49,750 --> 00:09:50,980
Can't miss it.
Right off the elevator.

249
00:09:50,982 --> 00:09:52,715
Tonight.
Be there.

250
00:09:53,717 --> 00:09:54,681
All right, Jan just emailed me.

251
00:09:54,683 --> 00:09:56,548
She wants us
to meet her up front.

252
00:09:56,550 --> 00:09:58,481
Yep.
Yeah, she's up front.

253
00:09:58,483 --> 00:10:00,114
You don't have email
on your phone.

254
00:10:00,116 --> 00:10:03,581
I don't have to, I just know.

255
00:10:03,583 --> 00:10:06,081
Yes, hello?

256
00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:07,247
No one just called you.

257
00:10:07,249 --> 00:10:09,047
All right, nice meeting you.
Take care.

258
00:10:09,049 --> 00:10:10,514
See you soon.
Take care.

259
00:10:10,516 --> 00:10:12,414
Bye-bye.

260
00:10:12,416 --> 00:10:14,715
May I have a moment
of your time, please?

261
00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:17,214
I need you to do something
for me.

262
00:10:17,216 --> 00:10:18,247
Yes, anything.

263
00:10:18,249 --> 00:10:20,281
I want you to
dig up some dirt on Josh.

264
00:10:20,283 --> 00:10:22,281
Find out if there are
any skeletons in his attic.

265
00:10:22,283 --> 00:10:24,121
I'll talk to my buddy
down at the station stat.

266
00:10:25,815 --> 00:10:27,114
Hey, Pam.

267
00:10:27,116 --> 00:10:28,514
Hey, what's up?
What's up?

268
00:10:29,616 --> 00:10:30,780
I wanted to ask if you wanted...

269
00:10:30,782 --> 00:10:33,947
Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.

270
00:10:33,949 --> 00:10:37,714
He's not in the office.
Can I take a message?

271
00:10:37,716 --> 00:10:39,214
I will.

272
00:10:39,216 --> 00:10:42,081
You too.

273
00:10:42,083 --> 00:10:43,081
Sorry.
What's up?

274
00:10:43,083 --> 00:10:47,281
Um, if, uh...

275
00:10:47,283 --> 00:10:49,747
Um...

276
00:10:49,749 --> 00:10:54,314
I just completely forgot
what I was going to say.

277
00:10:54,316 --> 00:10:55,348
That's so weird.

278
00:10:55,350 --> 00:10:57,780
Okay.

279
00:10:57,782 --> 00:10:59,481
Well, if you think of it,
I'll be here.

280
00:10:59,483 --> 00:11:01,814
Okay.

281
00:11:07,815 --> 00:11:10,914
So I called my buddy
down at the station today.

282
00:11:10,916 --> 00:11:11,914
Mm-hmm.

283
00:11:11,916 --> 00:11:13,014
I had him run a background check

284
00:11:13,016 --> 00:11:14,348
on Josh Porter.

285
00:11:14,350 --> 00:11:17,214
See if there's
any known aliases, etc.

286
00:11:17,216 --> 00:11:18,714
And?

287
00:11:18,716 --> 00:11:21,880
He wasn't volunteering today.

288
00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:26,414
Yeah.

289
00:11:26,416 --> 00:11:28,680
Things have been pretty crazy
around the office.

290
00:11:28,682 --> 00:11:29,747
Oh, yeah?

291
00:11:29,749 --> 00:11:31,247
Yeah.

292
00:11:31,249 --> 00:11:32,780
We moved Ryan over to your desk.

293
00:11:32,782 --> 00:11:35,381
Oh.
Tell him I say hi.

294
00:11:35,383 --> 00:11:37,747
I will call him later
with that message.

295
00:11:37,749 --> 00:11:41,047
Hey, how's...
Toby?

296
00:11:41,049 --> 00:11:44,348
Toby Flenderson is everything
that is wrong

297
00:11:44,350 --> 00:11:46,114
with the paper industry.

298
00:11:46,116 --> 00:11:47,181
Is he why you left?

299
00:11:47,183 --> 00:11:48,780
Oh, no.
It was just...

300
00:11:48,782 --> 00:11:49,914
you know,
a good opportunity for me,

301
00:11:49,916 --> 00:11:50,914
a promotion.

302
00:11:50,916 --> 00:11:53,714
Opportunity, promotion.
Blah blah.

303
00:11:53,716 --> 00:11:55,381
You know, Jim,
those are just words.

304
00:11:55,383 --> 00:11:57,947
Have you taken into account

305
00:11:57,949 --> 00:11:59,414
other factors?

306
00:11:59,416 --> 00:12:00,581
Vis-à-vis bosses?

307
00:12:00,583 --> 00:12:02,647
Is Josh funnier than I am?

308
00:12:02,649 --> 00:12:03,914
Does he even have a girlfriend?

309
00:12:03,916 --> 00:12:05,947
Because I have two, basically.

310
00:12:05,949 --> 00:12:08,014
Michael, it's really not
a competition.

311
00:12:09,615 --> 00:12:11,780
Jim got a us a great lead
with a new rep

312
00:12:11,782 --> 00:12:13,014
from National Envelope.

313
00:12:13,016 --> 00:12:14,281
We can grab lunch
with him tomorrow.

314
00:12:14,283 --> 00:12:15,947
Hey, Jan.
Jan?

315
00:12:15,949 --> 00:12:18,181
Don't worry.
I have got the tip.

316
00:12:18,183 --> 00:12:19,514
Whoa, Michael.

317
00:12:19,516 --> 00:12:22,281
Wow.
Oh, my God, thank you.

318
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:23,414
Is that your per diem?

319
00:12:23,416 --> 00:12:25,880
No, that was a different
hundred dollar bill.

320
00:12:25,882 --> 00:12:27,214
What have you generated,
Michael?

321
00:12:27,216 --> 00:12:29,847
I have generated
a lot of interest

322
00:12:29,849 --> 00:12:31,747
in my party this evening.

323
00:12:31,749 --> 00:12:33,414
What party?

324
00:12:33,416 --> 00:12:35,081
Party I'm having tonight in 308.

325
00:12:35,083 --> 00:12:36,747
Obviously, you are invited.

326
00:12:36,749 --> 00:12:40,014
Michael, um...

327
00:12:40,016 --> 00:12:42,114
Jim and Josh are in meetings

328
00:12:42,116 --> 00:12:43,847
all day and I am

329
00:12:43,849 --> 00:12:47,247
in and out of meetings.

330
00:12:47,249 --> 00:12:50,081
I can't stay on top of you 24/7.

331
00:12:54,782 --> 00:12:56,448
You should order

332
00:12:56,450 --> 00:12:58,448
the most expensive thing
on the menu.

333
00:12:58,450 --> 00:12:59,568
So he knows you're worth it.

334
00:13:01,315 --> 00:13:03,481
If you do that,
you're gonna have to put out.

335
00:13:05,282 --> 00:13:07,548
Oh, yeah.
You'll have to put out.

336
00:13:09,182 --> 00:13:13,314
Is there a key for Jane Doe?

337
00:13:13,316 --> 00:13:17,314
Thank you.

338
00:13:17,316 --> 00:13:20,613
Any messages for 308?

339
00:13:20,615 --> 00:13:22,414
All right.

340
00:13:22,416 --> 00:13:23,647
Hey hey, fellers.

341
00:13:23,649 --> 00:13:25,081
- Michael.
- Hey, Michael.

342
00:13:25,083 --> 00:13:26,348
Hey, what's up?

343
00:13:26,350 --> 00:13:28,114
Uh, well, Jim and I
have a meeting with Uniball

344
00:13:28,116 --> 00:13:29,647
in about 45 minutes,
so we should probably go.

345
00:13:29,649 --> 00:13:31,580
Hey, check this out.

346
00:13:31,582 --> 00:13:32,580
How about that?

347
00:13:32,582 --> 00:13:34,047
A little friendly competition.

348
00:13:34,049 --> 00:13:35,514
Stamford versus Scranton.

349
00:13:35,516 --> 00:13:36,680
I don't think so.

350
00:13:36,682 --> 00:13:38,214
Oh.
Jim?

351
00:13:38,216 --> 00:13:39,747
Looks like you picked a bad time

352
00:13:39,749 --> 00:13:42,880
to defect, my friend.

353
00:13:42,882 --> 00:13:43,947
Fine.
All right.

354
00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:45,014
Okay.

355
00:13:45,016 --> 00:13:46,348
Excellent.

356
00:13:48,149 --> 00:13:49,281
Oh, just shut it.

357
00:13:51,315 --> 00:13:54,047
Hey, Pam, what's up?

358
00:13:54,049 --> 00:13:55,914
Yeah... uh, no.
Tell him I will give him

359
00:13:55,916 --> 00:13:57,513
general specifics tomorrow,
okay?

360
00:13:57,515 --> 00:14:01,081
Yes.
Say hi to Pam!

361
00:14:01,083 --> 00:14:02,613
Hi, Pam.

362
00:14:02,615 --> 00:14:04,214
Yes, that is Josh
and Dwight and Jim.

363
00:14:04,216 --> 00:14:05,880
Pam says hi.

364
00:14:05,882 --> 00:14:08,014
Have fun on your date.

365
00:14:08,016 --> 00:14:09,847
Very good.
Talk to you later.

366
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,947
Bye.

367
00:14:16,715 --> 00:14:18,281
You first.

368
00:14:20,282 --> 00:14:21,814
Oh, nice try, Josh!

369
00:14:21,816 --> 00:14:24,014
Not.
Hit the rim.

370
00:14:24,016 --> 00:14:27,414
Okay, and...

371
00:14:27,416 --> 00:14:29,780
Okay, double or nothing.

372
00:14:29,782 --> 00:14:31,613
What, we didn't
bet anything, Michael.

373
00:14:31,615 --> 00:14:33,214
Well, let's...

374
00:14:33,216 --> 00:14:34,348
You know, we should go.

375
00:14:34,350 --> 00:14:35,814
Come on, come on.
Come on!

376
00:14:35,816 --> 00:14:38,314
We'll do it later.

377
00:14:38,316 --> 00:14:40,081
Say, while I have you here,

378
00:14:40,083 --> 00:14:42,147
can I talk to you about
some new and exciting advances

379
00:14:42,149 --> 00:14:43,747
to our product line?
Fine.

380
00:14:43,749 --> 00:14:46,014
Jim and I have different
definitions of friendship.

381
00:14:46,016 --> 00:14:48,014
I think it's talking
and being friends

382
00:14:48,016 --> 00:14:50,348
and Jim thinks
it's moving to Connecticut

383
00:14:50,350 --> 00:14:52,214
and being best friends
with Josh.

384
00:14:52,216 --> 00:14:53,448
Well...

385
00:14:53,450 --> 00:14:56,014
phooey on that.

386
00:14:56,016 --> 00:14:58,047
I, uh...
I'm done.

387
00:14:58,049 --> 00:15:00,381
I am not going to be
speaking with him anymore.

388
00:15:00,383 --> 00:15:01,613
Whatevs.

389
00:15:01,615 --> 00:15:04,114
Long distance relationships
never work.

390
00:15:04,116 --> 00:15:06,747
That is so true.

391
00:15:06,749 --> 00:15:08,247
Ready?
Mm-hmm.

392
00:15:08,249 --> 00:15:11,314
Okay, let me tell you
what we're looking for.

393
00:15:13,182 --> 00:15:15,281
Sorry, my meeting ran late.

394
00:15:17,015 --> 00:15:18,247
- Really?
- Yes, Jan.

395
00:15:18,249 --> 00:15:19,680
Really.

396
00:15:19,682 --> 00:15:21,081
With a rep from Hammermill.

397
00:15:21,083 --> 00:15:22,081
They're exclusive with Staples.

398
00:15:22,083 --> 00:15:23,081
Used to be.

399
00:15:23,083 --> 00:15:24,680
Evan'll call you in the morning

400
00:15:24,682 --> 00:15:26,147
to work out the details.

401
00:15:26,149 --> 00:15:27,513
We can now
sell Hammermill products.

402
00:15:27,515 --> 00:15:28,647
Yes!

403
00:15:28,649 --> 00:15:30,747
Ha!

404
00:15:30,749 --> 00:15:33,513
Well, Michael...

405
00:15:33,515 --> 00:15:34,547
I underestimated you.

406
00:15:34,549 --> 00:15:36,880
Yeah, well, maybe next time

407
00:15:36,882 --> 00:15:38,281
you will estimate me.

408
00:15:41,215 --> 00:15:43,880
Dwight's room key.

409
00:15:43,882 --> 00:15:46,447
And Dwight's room.

410
00:15:46,449 --> 00:15:48,947
What can I say?
Old habits die hard.

411
00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:50,480
D?

412
00:15:52,082 --> 00:15:55,513
Oh, my God.
Dwight got a hooker.

413
00:15:55,515 --> 00:15:57,314
Oh, my God, I gotta call...

414
00:15:57,316 --> 00:15:58,381
I gotta call somebody.

415
00:15:58,383 --> 00:16:00,580
I don't even know who to call.

416
00:16:00,582 --> 00:16:02,114
Dwight got a hooker!

417
00:16:02,116 --> 00:16:05,513
So, Allen, Pam is obsessed
with your cartoons.

418
00:16:05,515 --> 00:16:07,747
She reads them every day.

419
00:16:07,749 --> 00:16:09,513
Oh, great.

420
00:16:09,515 --> 00:16:10,580
I don't like ketchup.

421
00:16:10,582 --> 00:16:12,680
You love ketchup.
He loves ketchup.

422
00:16:12,682 --> 00:16:18,314
So how do you come up
with your cartoons?

423
00:16:18,316 --> 00:16:22,580
I just... I kinda think about
stuff that I see.

424
00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:24,613
Or dream them.

425
00:16:24,615 --> 00:16:27,281
You dream in cartoons?
How fun.

426
00:16:29,614 --> 00:16:32,348
Hey!
First guest!

427
00:16:32,350 --> 00:16:34,348
You are going to have
some tequila, my friend.

428
00:16:34,350 --> 00:16:37,081
Um, I thought there was
a party in here.

429
00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:38,081
This is the party.

430
00:16:38,083 --> 00:16:40,480
This is room 308?
Party central.

431
00:16:40,482 --> 00:16:42,447
So what can I do you for?

432
00:16:42,449 --> 00:16:46,513
All right.

433
00:16:46,515 --> 00:16:49,247
See this one is great.

434
00:16:49,249 --> 00:16:51,747
Because it could work
on a couple different levels.

435
00:16:51,749 --> 00:16:53,214
Huh.

436
00:16:53,216 --> 00:16:56,247
Your freedom fries
for the table.

437
00:16:56,249 --> 00:17:00,480
Freedom fries.
Yeah.

438
00:17:00,482 --> 00:17:02,181
Yeah.

439
00:17:02,183 --> 00:17:03,447
People always say, like,
don't be edgy.

440
00:17:03,449 --> 00:17:05,613
But, I don't know.

441
00:17:05,615 --> 00:17:06,814
I don't know any other way.

442
00:17:06,816 --> 00:17:07,914
Oh.

443
00:17:07,916 --> 00:17:10,214
Yeah, you get it.

444
00:17:25,048 --> 00:17:27,580
Well, it was really nice
meeting you, Allen.

445
00:17:27,582 --> 00:17:29,480
Yeah, next time bring some of
your illustrations.

446
00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:30,947
I'll let you pick my brain.

447
00:17:32,382 --> 00:17:33,780
More freedom fries.
Yeah.

448
00:17:33,782 --> 00:17:34,847
That's great.
Okay.

449
00:17:34,849 --> 00:17:36,880
I went on a date.

450
00:17:36,882 --> 00:17:39,214
It wasn't a love connection.

451
00:17:39,216 --> 00:17:42,313
Um, I think when
I like someone again,

452
00:17:42,315 --> 00:17:44,480
I'll just kind of know.

453
00:18:03,482 --> 00:18:04,481
Michael.

454
00:18:10,281 --> 00:18:12,347
Am I the first the arrive?

455
00:18:12,349 --> 00:18:16,547
People have been filtering
in and out.

456
00:18:16,549 --> 00:18:18,647
Can I get a drink?

457
00:18:18,649 --> 00:18:19,947
What?

458
00:18:19,949 --> 00:18:22,081
Can I get a drink?

459
00:18:22,083 --> 00:18:25,181
Sure.

460
00:18:28,548 --> 00:18:30,480
You like cosmos?

461
00:18:30,482 --> 00:18:32,814
Yeah, sure.
Sounds good.

462
00:18:32,816 --> 00:18:33,880
So why are you here?

463
00:18:33,882 --> 00:18:35,513
Is Josh busy?

464
00:18:35,515 --> 00:18:36,814
Michael...

465
00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:38,280
I get it, you know?

466
00:18:38,282 --> 00:18:39,413
- Did I do something?
- No, I totally get it.

467
00:18:39,415 --> 00:18:42,114
He made a better paper airplane.

468
00:18:42,116 --> 00:18:45,114
Stamford does better in sales.

469
00:18:45,116 --> 00:18:46,347
I get it.
We had some fun.

470
00:18:46,349 --> 00:18:47,714
We had some laughs.

471
00:18:47,716 --> 00:18:50,081
Wait wait wait, I didn't
transfer because of you.

472
00:18:50,083 --> 00:18:52,580
You're a good boss.

473
00:18:52,582 --> 00:18:54,914
You're a great boss.

474
00:18:54,916 --> 00:18:58,580
Pfff.

475
00:18:58,582 --> 00:19:00,413
Not better than Josh.

476
00:19:00,415 --> 00:19:04,613
Michael, it's not about...

477
00:19:04,615 --> 00:19:06,147
I transferred because of Pam.

478
00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:11,914
Oh, my God.

479
00:19:11,916 --> 00:19:14,081
You don't even know.
She's single now.

480
00:19:14,083 --> 00:19:16,780
No, I heard
something about that.

481
00:19:16,782 --> 00:19:18,413
It's just, I kind of

482
00:19:18,415 --> 00:19:22,147
put it all on the line.

483
00:19:22,149 --> 00:19:24,181
Twice, actually.

484
00:19:24,183 --> 00:19:27,246
And she said no.
Twice.

485
00:19:30,415 --> 00:19:31,547
I'm sorry, man.

486
00:19:31,549 --> 00:19:32,914
I'm sorry.

487
00:19:32,916 --> 00:19:37,480
Hey, you know what?
I will talk to her.

488
00:19:37,482 --> 00:19:38,947
No, that's okay.
Yeah.

489
00:19:38,949 --> 00:19:40,547
That's all right.
I will.

490
00:19:40,549 --> 00:19:42,947
I'll talk to her.

491
00:19:42,949 --> 00:19:45,180
You should at least
talk to... Roy.

492
00:19:45,182 --> 00:19:47,213
I mean, he knows
exactly how you're feeling.

493
00:19:47,215 --> 00:19:50,947
Yeah.

494
00:19:50,949 --> 00:19:53,613
Okay, maybe.

495
00:19:53,615 --> 00:19:55,513
Are we early?

496
00:19:55,515 --> 00:19:56,613
Hey, no.
You know, people have been

497
00:19:56,615 --> 00:19:57,680
filtering in and out.

498
00:19:57,682 --> 00:19:59,014
Hey.

499
00:19:59,016 --> 00:20:00,780
Evan, this is Jim.
How are ya?

500
00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:03,413
Hey, Arnie Risman.
Michael, Jim.

501
00:20:03,415 --> 00:20:04,714
Hey, Arnie, how you doing?

502
00:20:04,716 --> 00:20:06,547
You guys work together?

503
00:20:06,549 --> 00:20:07,914
No, we used to.

504
00:20:07,916 --> 00:20:09,847
- Yeah.
- Now, we're friends.

505
00:20:09,849 --> 00:20:13,246
Best friends.

506
00:20:13,248 --> 00:20:16,347
Some people
need dozens of friends

507
00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:18,680
to say, hey, look at me,
I'm popular.

508
00:20:18,682 --> 00:20:20,313
But not me.
I'm very picky.

509
00:20:20,315 --> 00:20:22,480
I need three.
Maybe two?

510
00:20:22,482 --> 00:20:24,647
When you meet
that someone special,

511
00:20:24,649 --> 00:20:26,213
you'll just know.

512
00:20:26,215 --> 00:20:29,246
Because a real relationship...

513
00:20:29,248 --> 00:20:31,547
can't be forced.

514
00:20:31,549 --> 00:20:36,580
It should just come about
effortledlessly.

515
00:20:36,582 --> 00:20:37,747
Now, would you do me
the pleasure of

516
00:20:37,749 --> 00:20:40,413
hitting the lights, sir?

517
00:20:42,514 --> 00:20:43,747
Ha ha ha ha.

518
00:20:43,749 --> 00:20:44,947
Ha ha ha ha ha!

519
00:20:44,949 --> 00:20:48,747
Whoa.
What are all those stains?

520
00:20:48,749 --> 00:20:50,347
Blood, urine, or semen.

521
00:20:50,349 --> 00:20:52,246
Oh, God, I hope it's urine.

522
00:20:53,398 --> 00:21:03,388
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