1 00:00:01,125 --> 00:00:02,795 Hey, Ryan. 2 00:00:02,797 --> 00:00:04,799 Can I get you a pencil from the warehouse? 3 00:00:04,801 --> 00:00:06,635 Uh, no thanks. I'm good. 4 00:00:06,637 --> 00:00:08,672 Oh, it's okay. I'm going down. 5 00:00:08,674 --> 00:00:10,042 Um... 6 00:00:10,044 --> 00:00:11,278 Oh. 7 00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:12,580 Yeah. 8 00:00:12,582 --> 00:00:13,649 Absolutely. 9 00:00:13,651 --> 00:00:15,219 All right, I'll be right back. 10 00:00:16,707 --> 00:00:22,787 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 11 00:00:25,140 --> 00:00:26,274 - Whoo! - There you go. 12 00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:27,276 Awesome! 13 00:00:27,278 --> 00:00:28,412 - Thank you. - You're welcome! 14 00:00:28,414 --> 00:00:29,782 Michael, could you get me a pen 15 00:00:29,784 --> 00:00:30,851 from down in the warehouse? 16 00:00:30,853 --> 00:00:32,487 Don't mind if I do. 17 00:00:33,958 --> 00:00:35,259 See you in a minute. 18 00:00:35,261 --> 00:00:36,595 Okay! 19 00:00:46,183 --> 00:00:47,416 Whoo! 20 00:00:47,418 --> 00:00:48,619 There you go, fresh from the warehouse. 21 00:00:48,621 --> 00:00:49,855 Hey, Michael. 22 00:00:49,857 --> 00:00:52,026 Would you get me some coffee from the warehouse? 23 00:00:52,028 --> 00:00:53,662 There's coffee in the kitchen, Pam. 24 00:00:53,664 --> 00:00:56,201 But the warehouse coffee tastes so much better. 25 00:00:56,203 --> 00:00:57,203 Yeah, it's better. 26 00:00:57,205 --> 00:00:59,474 All right. All right. 27 00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:01,444 Okay. 28 00:01:12,100 --> 00:01:14,805 I am like Bette Midler in For the Boys. 29 00:01:14,807 --> 00:01:16,608 Gotta keep the troops entertained. 30 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,595 With cream and sugar? 31 00:01:28,499 --> 00:01:29,634 All right. 32 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:04,070 So I wanted to let you know 33 00:02:04,072 --> 00:02:06,007 that we lost Ed Truck. 34 00:02:06,009 --> 00:02:07,510 Oh... kay. 35 00:02:07,512 --> 00:02:09,247 Let me see if I have his cell. 36 00:02:09,249 --> 00:02:11,618 Is this the only reason you are calling, Jan? 37 00:02:11,620 --> 00:02:13,088 Or does somebody miss me? 38 00:02:13,090 --> 00:02:17,731 Michael... Ed died over the weekend. 39 00:02:17,733 --> 00:02:18,900 Oh, wow. 40 00:02:18,902 --> 00:02:20,336 Attention, everybody. 41 00:02:20,338 --> 00:02:22,473 I just received a call from corporate 42 00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:25,346 with some news that they felt that I should know first. 43 00:02:25,348 --> 00:02:26,782 My old boss, 44 00:02:26,784 --> 00:02:29,053 Ed Truck, has died. 45 00:02:30,324 --> 00:02:32,794 Oh, Michael, that's such terrible news. 46 00:02:32,796 --> 00:02:35,399 You must feel so sad. 47 00:02:35,401 --> 00:02:37,570 Yes, I am. 48 00:02:37,572 --> 00:02:39,674 It's very sad. 49 00:02:39,676 --> 00:02:42,446 Because he was my boss. 50 00:02:42,448 --> 00:02:44,650 Oh, that's a shame. Ed was a good guy. 51 00:02:44,652 --> 00:02:46,621 That's right. You worked with him. 52 00:02:46,623 --> 00:02:49,227 So did Creed. 53 00:02:49,229 --> 00:02:50,229 Well, I'll be in my office. 54 00:02:50,231 --> 00:02:52,834 In case anybody wants to drop by. 55 00:02:52,836 --> 00:02:54,772 Cheer me up. 56 00:03:04,859 --> 00:03:06,628 So did you hear the news? 57 00:03:06,630 --> 00:03:08,398 The news that you just announced? 58 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:09,467 That Ed died? 59 00:03:09,469 --> 00:03:10,837 Yeah. 60 00:03:10,839 --> 00:03:12,106 Is there anything I can do? 61 00:03:12,108 --> 00:03:14,544 Oh, gosh, what can anybody do, really? 62 00:03:14,546 --> 00:03:15,880 Just... psh. 63 00:03:15,882 --> 00:03:18,518 He was almost 70. Circle of life. 64 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:20,556 Yeah. 65 00:03:24,364 --> 00:03:27,036 Oh. Okay. 66 00:03:29,675 --> 00:03:30,777 Yeah. 67 00:03:30,779 --> 00:03:34,150 Mmmmm. 68 00:03:34,152 --> 00:03:36,354 Okay. 69 00:03:36,356 --> 00:03:38,358 What's going on with Fairfield County Schools? 70 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:40,162 Karen, did you generate that price list? 71 00:03:40,164 --> 00:03:43,435 Um... shoot. Uh, I will. Sorry. 72 00:03:43,437 --> 00:03:45,840 Okay, just get it done. 73 00:03:45,842 --> 00:03:46,876 Jim, will you make sure? 74 00:03:46,878 --> 00:03:49,113 Oh, yeah, definitely. 75 00:03:50,517 --> 00:03:51,584 Suck up! 76 00:03:51,586 --> 00:03:52,653 Ahem! 77 00:03:52,655 --> 00:03:53,956 Josh, did you hear what I said? 78 00:03:53,958 --> 00:03:55,793 Thank you, everyone. 79 00:04:00,470 --> 00:04:02,239 Damn it. 80 00:04:03,242 --> 00:04:04,410 What's up? 81 00:04:04,412 --> 00:04:06,347 Oh, nothing. 82 00:04:06,349 --> 00:04:08,185 They're just out of Herr's Chips. 83 00:04:08,187 --> 00:04:09,187 Oh. 84 00:04:09,189 --> 00:04:10,189 But don't worry about it. 85 00:04:10,191 --> 00:04:11,692 My snack food doesn't fall 86 00:04:11,694 --> 00:04:13,628 under the umbrella of your authority. 87 00:04:13,630 --> 00:04:16,668 Mm, that's where you're wrong. 88 00:04:16,670 --> 00:04:19,775 I'm your project supervisor today. 89 00:04:19,777 --> 00:04:21,211 And I've just decided 90 00:04:21,213 --> 00:04:22,646 that we're not doing anything 91 00:04:22,648 --> 00:04:25,419 until you get the chips that you require. 92 00:04:25,421 --> 00:04:28,091 So I think we should go get some. 93 00:04:28,093 --> 00:04:29,928 Now, please. 94 00:04:31,299 --> 00:04:33,034 It's a real shame about Ed, huh? 95 00:04:33,036 --> 00:04:35,606 Yeah. Must really have you thinkin'. 96 00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:37,009 About what? 97 00:04:37,011 --> 00:04:38,178 The older you get, 98 00:04:38,180 --> 00:04:40,048 the bigger the chance is you're gonna die. 99 00:04:40,050 --> 00:04:41,184 You knew that. 100 00:04:41,186 --> 00:04:42,620 Ed was decapitated. 101 00:04:42,622 --> 00:04:44,758 What? Really? 102 00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:46,060 He was drunk as a skunk. 103 00:04:46,062 --> 00:04:47,764 He was flying down Route 6. 104 00:04:47,766 --> 00:04:49,801 He slides under an 18-wheeler. 105 00:04:49,803 --> 00:04:51,204 Pop, it snaps right off. 106 00:04:51,206 --> 00:04:53,141 Oh, my God. 107 00:04:53,143 --> 00:04:55,012 That is the way to go. 108 00:04:55,014 --> 00:04:58,151 Instant death. Very smart. 109 00:04:58,153 --> 00:04:59,888 You know, a human can go on living for several hours 110 00:04:59,890 --> 00:05:01,557 after being decapitated. 111 00:05:01,559 --> 00:05:03,528 You're thinking of a chicken. 112 00:05:03,530 --> 00:05:05,098 What'd I say? 113 00:05:05,100 --> 00:05:07,102 That is just not the way 114 00:05:07,104 --> 00:05:08,706 a Dunder Mifflin manager should go. 115 00:05:08,708 --> 00:05:09,875 I'm sorry. 116 00:05:09,877 --> 00:05:12,313 Alone, out of the blue. 117 00:05:12,315 --> 00:05:14,718 Not even have his own head to comfort him. 118 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:17,456 So I'm not exactly... 119 00:05:17,458 --> 00:05:19,026 sure how to say this. 120 00:05:19,028 --> 00:05:20,997 - Ed was decapitated. - What are you doing? 121 00:05:20,999 --> 00:05:22,834 You said you didn't know how to say it. 122 00:05:22,836 --> 00:05:24,603 He... 123 00:05:24,605 --> 00:05:26,074 was driving 124 00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:27,711 on the road. 125 00:05:27,713 --> 00:05:29,715 And he went under a truck. 126 00:05:29,717 --> 00:05:31,384 And that's when his 127 00:05:31,386 --> 00:05:33,655 h-h-head was... 128 00:05:33,657 --> 00:05:36,561 separated from... 129 00:05:36,563 --> 00:05:37,931 the rest of him. 130 00:05:37,933 --> 00:05:39,600 And I will let you know more 131 00:05:39,602 --> 00:05:42,039 as soon as I find out. 132 00:05:45,413 --> 00:05:46,982 Hey. Hi. 133 00:05:46,984 --> 00:05:48,719 If my head ever comes off, 134 00:05:48,721 --> 00:05:50,455 I would like you to put it on ice. 135 00:05:50,457 --> 00:05:52,694 I do not want to talk about this. 136 00:05:53,997 --> 00:05:55,098 When I die, 137 00:05:55,100 --> 00:05:56,634 I want to be frozen. 138 00:05:56,636 --> 00:05:58,671 And if they have to freeze me in pieces, 139 00:05:58,673 --> 00:06:00,242 so be it. 140 00:06:00,244 --> 00:06:02,413 I will wake up stronger than ever, 141 00:06:02,415 --> 00:06:04,016 because I will have used that time 142 00:06:04,018 --> 00:06:06,755 to figure out exactly why I died, 143 00:06:06,757 --> 00:06:07,957 and what moves I could have used 144 00:06:07,959 --> 00:06:09,126 to defend myself better 145 00:06:09,128 --> 00:06:11,431 now that I know what hold he had me in. 146 00:06:11,433 --> 00:06:13,869 I don't understand. 147 00:06:13,871 --> 00:06:16,207 We have a day honoring Martin Luther King. 148 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,846 But he didn't even work here. 149 00:06:18,848 --> 00:06:20,515 I understand how you feel, Michael. 150 00:06:20,517 --> 00:06:21,919 I really do. 151 00:06:21,921 --> 00:06:25,192 So would it be helpful to give everyone the day off? 152 00:06:25,194 --> 00:06:26,929 You really don't get it, do you? 153 00:06:26,931 --> 00:06:28,131 You don't understand these people. 154 00:06:28,133 --> 00:06:30,135 That is the last thing that they would want 155 00:06:30,137 --> 00:06:31,270 is a day off. 156 00:06:31,272 --> 00:06:33,776 Well, what would you suggest? 157 00:06:33,778 --> 00:06:35,412 A statue. 158 00:06:35,414 --> 00:06:36,915 - Of Ed? - Yeah. 159 00:06:38,220 --> 00:06:39,553 I'm not sure that's realistic. 160 00:06:39,555 --> 00:06:41,557 Well, I think it would be very realistic. 161 00:06:41,559 --> 00:06:43,027 It would look just like him. 162 00:06:43,029 --> 00:06:44,063 No, that's not... 163 00:06:44,065 --> 00:06:45,398 We could have his eyes light up. 164 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:46,735 You could have his arms move. 165 00:06:46,737 --> 00:06:48,839 That is not a statue. That is a robot. 166 00:06:48,841 --> 00:06:50,575 I think that is a great way to honor Ed. 167 00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:52,312 And how big do you want this robot? 168 00:06:52,314 --> 00:06:53,314 Life-size. 169 00:06:53,316 --> 00:06:55,753 Mm, no. Better make it 2/3. 170 00:06:55,755 --> 00:06:57,256 Easier to stop if it turns on us. 171 00:06:57,258 --> 00:06:59,627 What the hell are you two talking about? 172 00:06:59,629 --> 00:07:02,533 Well, we are talking about how to properly honor 173 00:07:02,535 --> 00:07:04,136 a man who gave his life 174 00:07:04,138 --> 00:07:06,842 as regional manger of this company, Jan! 175 00:07:06,844 --> 00:07:08,111 You know what, Michael? 176 00:07:08,113 --> 00:07:09,246 I've really tried with you today. 177 00:07:09,248 --> 00:07:10,816 And I have to get back to work. 178 00:07:10,818 --> 00:07:11,985 Oh, do you? 179 00:07:11,987 --> 00:07:13,588 You know who wished they could get back to work 180 00:07:13,590 --> 00:07:14,724 is Ed Truck! 181 00:07:14,726 --> 00:07:16,695 But Ed Truck can't because he is... 182 00:07:16,697 --> 00:07:17,864 - Good-bye. - Dead! 183 00:07:20,470 --> 00:07:23,374 Look... I gave him a six-foot extension cord, 184 00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:24,878 so he can't chase us. 185 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:26,380 That's perfect. 186 00:07:26,382 --> 00:07:30,021 Okay, that is a no on the West Side Market. 187 00:07:30,023 --> 00:07:32,125 Okay, great. I think that's enough. 188 00:07:32,127 --> 00:07:34,229 Can I... get back to work now? 189 00:07:34,231 --> 00:07:37,603 Wow. Never pegged you for a quitter. 190 00:07:37,605 --> 00:07:39,139 I am not a quitter. 191 00:07:39,141 --> 00:07:40,876 I will do this all day, if you want. 192 00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:42,312 - Really? - Yeah, all day. 193 00:07:42,314 --> 00:07:43,949 Hey. What are we doing? 194 00:07:43,951 --> 00:07:45,285 What's the game? I want in. 195 00:07:45,287 --> 00:07:46,587 Oh, there's no game. 196 00:07:46,589 --> 00:07:48,124 We're just trying to get these chips for Karen. 197 00:07:48,126 --> 00:07:50,428 Did you check the vending machine? 198 00:07:50,430 --> 00:07:53,702 Oh, the vending machines? How did we miss that? 199 00:07:53,704 --> 00:07:55,372 I have no idea. 200 00:07:55,374 --> 00:07:56,742 We went right for the copier. 201 00:07:56,744 --> 00:07:58,444 Mm-hmm. And then we checked the fax machine. 202 00:07:58,446 --> 00:07:59,513 Yeah, nothing there. 203 00:07:59,515 --> 00:08:02,452 Did you check your butt? 204 00:08:04,591 --> 00:08:06,828 Ooh, can you imagine how much blood there was? 205 00:08:06,830 --> 00:08:08,832 If it happened right here, 206 00:08:08,834 --> 00:08:10,836 it would reach all the way to reception. 207 00:08:10,838 --> 00:08:11,972 Probably get on Pam. 208 00:08:11,974 --> 00:08:14,076 - Okay, that's enough. - What? 209 00:08:14,078 --> 00:08:15,345 We do not want to hear about this. 210 00:08:15,347 --> 00:08:16,681 Well, you know what? 211 00:08:16,683 --> 00:08:18,051 I didn't wanna hear about it either, Stanley. 212 00:08:18,053 --> 00:08:19,788 But I did, and now I can't stop picturing it. 213 00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:21,758 He leaves work. He's on his way home. 214 00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:25,098 Wham! His cappa is detated from his head. 215 00:08:25,100 --> 00:08:27,669 You have just spit on my face. 216 00:08:27,671 --> 00:08:28,706 Well, you know what? 217 00:08:28,708 --> 00:08:29,874 There's something wrong with you. 218 00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:31,778 There is something wrong with everybody in here. 219 00:08:31,780 --> 00:08:33,949 Because we have lost 220 00:08:33,951 --> 00:08:35,786 a member of our family. 221 00:08:35,788 --> 00:08:37,255 And you don't wanna talk about it. 222 00:08:37,257 --> 00:08:38,391 You don't wanna think about it. 223 00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:40,628 You just wanna get back to work. 224 00:08:40,630 --> 00:08:42,967 There are five stages to grief. 225 00:08:42,969 --> 00:08:44,838 Which are denial, 226 00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:48,377 anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. 227 00:08:48,379 --> 00:08:50,983 And right now, out there, 228 00:08:50,985 --> 00:08:52,820 they are all denying 229 00:08:52,822 --> 00:08:54,623 the fact that they're sad. 230 00:08:54,625 --> 00:08:56,995 And... that's hard. 231 00:08:56,997 --> 00:08:59,433 And it's making them all angry. 232 00:08:59,435 --> 00:09:02,672 And it is my job to try to get them 233 00:09:02,674 --> 00:09:05,245 all the way through to acceptance. 234 00:09:05,247 --> 00:09:07,149 And if not acceptance, then just depression. 235 00:09:07,151 --> 00:09:10,622 If I can get them depressed, then I'll have done my job. 236 00:09:11,091 --> 00:09:12,994 I'm going to throw you this ball. 237 00:09:12,996 --> 00:09:15,198 When you catch the ball, I want you to say 238 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:18,171 the name of a person very important to you, 239 00:09:18,173 --> 00:09:20,709 somebody really special, who died. 240 00:09:20,711 --> 00:09:23,314 And then I want you to say how they died. 241 00:09:23,316 --> 00:09:24,984 And you may cry, if you like. 242 00:09:24,986 --> 00:09:26,387 That is encouraged. 243 00:09:26,389 --> 00:09:28,224 Let me just start. Let me show you how this works. 244 00:09:28,226 --> 00:09:30,395 I catch the ball. 245 00:09:30,397 --> 00:09:32,332 I lost Ed Truck. 246 00:09:32,334 --> 00:09:35,706 And... it feels like somebody took my heart 247 00:09:35,708 --> 00:09:40,415 and dropped it into a bucket of boiling tears. 248 00:09:40,417 --> 00:09:43,054 And, at the same time, 249 00:09:43,056 --> 00:09:46,995 somebody else is hitting my soul 250 00:09:46,997 --> 00:09:48,699 in the crotch 251 00:09:48,701 --> 00:09:51,705 with a frozen sledgehammer. 252 00:09:51,707 --> 00:09:53,641 And then a third guy walks in 253 00:09:53,643 --> 00:09:55,445 and starts punching me in the grief bone. 254 00:09:55,447 --> 00:09:57,850 And I am crying. 255 00:09:57,852 --> 00:09:59,353 And nobody can hear me, 256 00:09:59,355 --> 00:10:03,427 because I am terribly, terribly... 257 00:10:03,429 --> 00:10:05,064 terribly alone. 258 00:10:05,066 --> 00:10:07,135 Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt. 259 00:10:07,137 --> 00:10:08,437 I need to see Pam. 260 00:10:08,439 --> 00:10:10,441 There seems to be, like, something wrong 261 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:11,912 with the radiator in her car. 262 00:10:11,914 --> 00:10:12,914 Okay. 263 00:10:12,916 --> 00:10:14,984 Fine. Hurry back. 264 00:10:16,722 --> 00:10:18,291 There's nothing wrong with your car. 265 00:10:18,293 --> 00:10:19,593 I just thought you might want a break 266 00:10:19,595 --> 00:10:22,198 from the grief counseling session. 267 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:24,938 Oh... I would like a break. 268 00:10:24,940 --> 00:10:27,075 How are you liking the new car? 269 00:10:27,077 --> 00:10:29,781 Great. Yeah? 270 00:10:29,783 --> 00:10:31,583 It sure is small. 271 00:10:32,889 --> 00:10:34,256 Got air bags? 272 00:10:34,258 --> 00:10:35,658 I think so. 273 00:10:35,660 --> 00:10:38,130 I don't know, I was mainly focused on the cup holders. 274 00:10:40,003 --> 00:10:43,474 Well, you're still not driving so fast, are you? 275 00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:45,011 Yeah. 276 00:10:48,452 --> 00:10:51,357 Hi, yeah, this is Mike from the West Side Market. 277 00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:53,060 Well, we added a shipment 278 00:10:53,062 --> 00:10:55,198 of Herr's salt and vinegar chips. 279 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:58,371 And we ordered that about three weeks ago, and have... 280 00:10:58,373 --> 00:11:00,074 Yeah. 281 00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,343 You have 'em in the warehouse? 282 00:11:01,345 --> 00:11:02,645 Great. 283 00:11:02,647 --> 00:11:05,685 What is my store number? 284 00:11:07,523 --> 00:11:08,657 Six. 285 00:11:08,659 --> 00:11:11,865 Wa... no. I'll call you back. 286 00:11:11,867 --> 00:11:13,702 Shut up. Six? 287 00:11:15,606 --> 00:11:18,344 Okay, we can start. 288 00:11:18,346 --> 00:11:19,781 You waited for me? 289 00:11:19,783 --> 00:11:20,949 Yeah. 290 00:11:20,951 --> 00:11:22,385 Pam, you're a member of this family. 291 00:11:22,387 --> 00:11:23,454 So we will wait 292 00:11:23,456 --> 00:11:25,191 for our family members. 293 00:11:25,193 --> 00:11:26,560 Phyllis, you wanna give it a shot? 294 00:11:26,562 --> 00:11:28,431 I got it. 295 00:11:28,433 --> 00:11:30,134 When my mother was pregnant with me, 296 00:11:30,136 --> 00:11:33,007 they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. 297 00:11:33,009 --> 00:11:35,011 When they did another ultrasound 298 00:11:35,013 --> 00:11:36,013 a few weeks later, 299 00:11:36,015 --> 00:11:38,117 they discovered that 300 00:11:38,119 --> 00:11:42,525 I had re-sorbed the other fetus. 301 00:11:42,527 --> 00:11:44,831 Do I regret this? No. 302 00:11:44,833 --> 00:11:47,268 I believe his tissue has made me stronger. 303 00:11:47,270 --> 00:11:49,473 I now have the strength of a grown man 304 00:11:49,475 --> 00:11:51,577 and a little baby. 305 00:11:51,579 --> 00:11:54,082 Okay, why don't you throw the ball to somebody else? 306 00:11:54,084 --> 00:11:55,218 Nope. 307 00:11:55,220 --> 00:11:57,322 Oh, yes, Stanley, Come on, your turn. 308 00:11:57,324 --> 00:11:58,758 - You have to go. - I will not! 309 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,829 Okay... 310 00:12:00,831 --> 00:12:02,098 I'm going to 311 00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:03,434 toss the ball 312 00:12:03,436 --> 00:12:05,538 to Pam. 313 00:12:05,540 --> 00:12:06,908 Let's see. 314 00:12:06,910 --> 00:12:08,577 I had an aunt 315 00:12:08,579 --> 00:12:10,081 that I was really close to. 316 00:12:10,083 --> 00:12:13,154 She was this amazing female boxer. 317 00:12:13,156 --> 00:12:16,360 Um, anyway, she was injured in a fight, 318 00:12:16,362 --> 00:12:18,264 and she was paralyzed. 319 00:12:18,266 --> 00:12:22,572 So you can imagine how upset I was... 320 00:12:22,574 --> 00:12:23,842 when I found out 321 00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:25,746 that she asked her manager 322 00:12:25,748 --> 00:12:27,783 to remove her breathing tube 323 00:12:27,785 --> 00:12:30,956 so she could die. 324 00:12:30,958 --> 00:12:33,527 Wow. 325 00:12:33,529 --> 00:12:35,966 If you want to cry, that's okay. 326 00:12:40,676 --> 00:12:42,145 Thanks. Um... 327 00:12:42,147 --> 00:12:43,715 A few years ago, 328 00:12:43,717 --> 00:12:46,286 my family was on a safari in Africa. 329 00:12:46,288 --> 00:12:50,094 And, um, my cousin... Mufasa... 330 00:12:50,096 --> 00:12:53,902 was, um, he was trampled to death 331 00:12:53,904 --> 00:12:55,772 by a pack of wildebeests. 332 00:12:55,774 --> 00:13:00,983 And, um, we all... took it really hard. 333 00:13:00,985 --> 00:13:04,155 All of us kind of in the audience... 334 00:13:04,157 --> 00:13:05,524 of what happened. 335 00:13:05,526 --> 00:13:07,696 Do you wanna talk about it anymore? 336 00:13:07,698 --> 00:13:09,934 Oh, it would probably take me, like, 337 00:13:09,936 --> 00:13:12,171 an hour and a half to tell that whole story. 338 00:13:12,173 --> 00:13:13,240 Me me, me me me. 339 00:13:13,242 --> 00:13:15,211 Yes. Okay. 340 00:13:15,213 --> 00:13:19,219 Um... I was trying to throw this party once. 341 00:13:19,221 --> 00:13:22,893 And everyone was over for the weekend. 342 00:13:22,895 --> 00:13:26,701 And then my Uncle Bernie died. 343 00:13:26,703 --> 00:13:29,572 And so me and 344 00:13:29,574 --> 00:13:30,809 my best friend, 345 00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:33,681 we had to pretend like he was alive. 346 00:13:33,683 --> 00:13:35,351 So... 347 00:13:35,353 --> 00:13:37,121 Wait a second. 348 00:13:38,325 --> 00:13:39,860 That's Weekend at Bernie's. 349 00:13:41,231 --> 00:13:43,233 Do you think that this is a game? 350 00:13:43,235 --> 00:13:44,602 Well, there is a ball. 351 00:13:44,604 --> 00:13:45,638 All right, we're starting over. 352 00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:46,941 No, I'm done. 353 00:13:46,943 --> 00:13:48,878 You are not leaving! No, we are not done. 354 00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:50,448 We really have a lot of work to do. 355 00:13:50,450 --> 00:13:51,516 Yeah, well, you know what? 356 00:13:51,518 --> 00:13:54,790 The guy who had my job has died. 357 00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:56,961 And nobody cares. 358 00:13:56,963 --> 00:13:59,099 And he sat at my desk. 359 00:13:59,101 --> 00:14:00,702 Michael... 360 00:14:00,704 --> 00:14:03,474 Look, I know this is hard for you. 361 00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:05,378 But death's just a part of life. 362 00:14:05,380 --> 00:14:07,081 I mean, just this morning, I saw a little bird 363 00:14:07,083 --> 00:14:10,221 fly into the glass doors downstairs and die. 364 00:14:10,223 --> 00:14:12,125 And I had to keep going. 365 00:14:12,127 --> 00:14:13,594 How do you know? What? 366 00:14:13,596 --> 00:14:15,431 That that bird was dead? 367 00:14:15,433 --> 00:14:17,435 Did you check... its breathing? 368 00:14:17,437 --> 00:14:18,504 It was obvious. 369 00:14:18,506 --> 00:14:20,241 Was its heart beating, Toby? 370 00:14:20,243 --> 00:14:22,478 Did you check it? No, of course you didn't. 371 00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:23,815 You're not a veterinarian. 372 00:14:23,817 --> 00:14:25,719 You don't know anything! 373 00:14:25,721 --> 00:14:27,121 Michael! 374 00:14:27,123 --> 00:14:30,996 Michael! 375 00:14:30,998 --> 00:14:33,500 Michael! 376 00:14:33,502 --> 00:14:34,602 Michael... 377 00:14:34,604 --> 00:14:35,671 Oh, God. 378 00:14:35,673 --> 00:14:37,208 Ohh! Oh, my God! 379 00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:39,345 Oh, my God! Come on. 380 00:14:39,347 --> 00:14:40,381 Poor little fella. 381 00:14:40,383 --> 00:14:41,751 - Oh, shoot. - He's a goner. 382 00:14:41,753 --> 00:14:43,387 - No, he's not. - Yeah. 383 00:14:43,389 --> 00:14:44,456 No, he's not. 384 00:14:44,458 --> 00:14:45,859 Michael, get him away from your head! 385 00:14:45,861 --> 00:14:47,128 He is covered in germs and bacteria! 386 00:14:47,130 --> 00:14:49,700 You can't get diseases from a bird! 387 00:14:50,402 --> 00:14:52,305 A dead bird should not be in the kitchen. 388 00:14:52,307 --> 00:14:53,340 We don't know if it's dead. 389 00:14:53,342 --> 00:14:56,112 Uh, no, that thing is dead. 390 00:14:56,114 --> 00:14:57,415 You want me to flush him? 391 00:14:59,286 --> 00:15:01,289 Attention, everybody. 392 00:15:01,291 --> 00:15:03,160 This will only take a second... 393 00:15:03,162 --> 00:15:05,664 of your time. 394 00:15:05,666 --> 00:15:07,268 Today at 4:00 p.m., 395 00:15:07,270 --> 00:15:09,807 we will be meeting in the parking lot 396 00:15:09,809 --> 00:15:14,215 to have a funeral service for this bird. 397 00:15:14,217 --> 00:15:15,384 I have a lot of work to do. 398 00:15:15,386 --> 00:15:18,190 Well... I'm sorry to inconvenience you, 399 00:15:18,192 --> 00:15:19,492 Meredith. 400 00:15:19,494 --> 00:15:22,231 But that is what you do when things die. 401 00:15:22,233 --> 00:15:23,567 You honor them. 402 00:15:23,569 --> 00:15:25,304 Toby killed this bird. 403 00:15:25,306 --> 00:15:26,908 And now we are going to honor it. 404 00:15:26,910 --> 00:15:28,377 - But... - No! No! No! 405 00:15:28,379 --> 00:15:29,512 That's enough. You know what? 406 00:15:29,514 --> 00:15:31,951 This bird is dead. 407 00:15:31,953 --> 00:15:33,020 It died alone. 408 00:15:33,022 --> 00:15:34,522 The least you can do 409 00:15:34,524 --> 00:15:37,829 is be there for him now. 410 00:15:39,868 --> 00:15:41,670 Find a box for him. 411 00:15:41,672 --> 00:15:44,242 I'm calling a supermarket in Montreal. 412 00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:45,477 Nice. 413 00:15:45,479 --> 00:15:47,515 Bonjour, je cherche 414 00:15:47,517 --> 00:15:49,720 de chips de la marque Herr's. 415 00:15:49,722 --> 00:15:51,323 Non? 416 00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:54,228 Oh, merci comme même. 417 00:15:54,230 --> 00:15:55,598 Au revoir. 418 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:56,666 Nope. 419 00:15:56,668 --> 00:15:58,604 - Sounded good. - Thanks. 420 00:16:07,356 --> 00:16:09,092 It's okay. 421 00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:10,494 It's okay. 422 00:16:10,496 --> 00:16:12,398 Shh. Yes, I know. 423 00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:14,235 I know it's been a tough day. 424 00:16:14,237 --> 00:16:16,172 But it's good to let it show. 425 00:16:16,174 --> 00:16:19,479 I mean, how many times do I have to confirm plans 426 00:16:19,481 --> 00:16:22,385 with Ryan for him to know that we have a date tonight? 427 00:16:26,293 --> 00:16:28,765 God. 428 00:16:28,767 --> 00:16:30,267 What are... 429 00:16:30,269 --> 00:16:31,569 What are you doing? 430 00:16:31,571 --> 00:16:32,906 What? 431 00:16:32,908 --> 00:16:34,208 No, this is about the right size. 432 00:16:34,210 --> 00:16:36,579 No, God, no! It's not! 433 00:16:36,581 --> 00:16:38,150 What is the matter with you? 434 00:16:38,152 --> 00:16:39,652 Is that the beak? 435 00:16:41,057 --> 00:16:43,660 I'm sorry, I grew up on a farm. 436 00:16:43,662 --> 00:16:46,499 We slaughtered a pig whenever we wanted bacon. 437 00:16:46,501 --> 00:16:49,639 My grandfather was re-buried in an old oil drum. 438 00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:54,649 It would've fit if he had given me another minute. 439 00:16:54,651 --> 00:16:56,519 I need a box. 440 00:16:56,521 --> 00:16:58,925 I need a box, a small box. 441 00:16:58,927 --> 00:17:01,229 Not too confining. 442 00:17:01,231 --> 00:17:02,565 - Is it for the bird? - Yeah. 443 00:17:02,567 --> 00:17:03,701 I have it covered. 444 00:17:03,703 --> 00:17:05,905 Oh, thank you. 445 00:17:07,243 --> 00:17:09,045 If you want to do something for the funeral... 446 00:17:09,047 --> 00:17:10,447 Yes, please. 447 00:17:10,449 --> 00:17:12,051 Maybe you could play a song on your recorder. Excellent. 448 00:17:12,053 --> 00:17:13,955 Do you have it with you? Always. 449 00:17:16,795 --> 00:17:18,731 Did I wake up this morning thinking I'd be 450 00:17:18,733 --> 00:17:20,467 throwing together a bird funeral? 451 00:17:21,604 --> 00:17:23,406 You never can tell what your day here 452 00:17:23,408 --> 00:17:24,977 is gonna turn into. 453 00:17:28,819 --> 00:17:31,222 Where'd you find them? 454 00:17:31,224 --> 00:17:33,059 Where'd I find what? 455 00:17:41,243 --> 00:17:42,746 I called the manufacturer, 456 00:17:42,748 --> 00:17:44,783 who referred me to the distributor, 457 00:17:44,785 --> 00:17:46,887 who referred me to the vending machine company, 458 00:17:46,889 --> 00:17:49,358 who told me that they sell them in the machines 459 00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:51,095 in the building next door. 460 00:17:51,097 --> 00:17:53,033 Glad you could all make it. 461 00:17:53,035 --> 00:17:54,535 You told us we had to. 462 00:17:54,537 --> 00:17:56,306 Dwight, do you have the box? 463 00:17:56,308 --> 00:17:58,043 Actually, I have it. 464 00:18:00,950 --> 00:18:02,986 You made this? 465 00:18:02,988 --> 00:18:04,655 Wow. 466 00:18:04,657 --> 00:18:07,996 That's... that's very nice. 467 00:18:07,998 --> 00:18:10,000 When I was five, my mom told me 468 00:18:10,002 --> 00:18:11,937 that my fish went to the hospital 469 00:18:11,939 --> 00:18:13,406 in the toilet. 470 00:18:13,408 --> 00:18:15,310 And it never came back. 471 00:18:15,312 --> 00:18:17,214 So we had a funeral for it. 472 00:18:17,216 --> 00:18:18,583 And I remember thinking, 473 00:18:18,585 --> 00:18:20,621 "I'm a little too old for this." 474 00:18:20,623 --> 00:18:23,660 And I was five. 475 00:18:23,662 --> 00:18:24,997 I'd also like to say a few words, 476 00:18:24,999 --> 00:18:26,266 if that's okay. 477 00:18:27,803 --> 00:18:29,171 Yes. 478 00:18:29,173 --> 00:18:32,211 What do we know about this bird? 479 00:18:32,213 --> 00:18:35,584 You might think, "Not much, it's just a bird." 480 00:18:35,586 --> 00:18:37,688 But we do know some things. 481 00:18:37,691 --> 00:18:40,762 We know it was a local bird. 482 00:18:40,764 --> 00:18:44,335 Maybe it's that same bird that surprised Oscar 483 00:18:44,337 --> 00:18:47,207 that one morning with a special present from above. 484 00:18:47,209 --> 00:18:49,345 Oh, I remember that. That was so funny. 485 00:18:49,347 --> 00:18:51,115 And we know how he died. 486 00:18:51,117 --> 00:18:54,055 Flying into the glass doors. 487 00:18:54,057 --> 00:18:55,290 But you know what, 488 00:18:55,292 --> 00:18:57,328 I don't think he was being stupid. 489 00:18:57,330 --> 00:18:59,800 I think he just... 490 00:18:59,802 --> 00:19:02,671 really, really wanted to come inside our building 491 00:19:02,673 --> 00:19:05,344 to spread his cheer 492 00:19:05,346 --> 00:19:07,681 and lift our spirits with a song. 493 00:19:07,683 --> 00:19:09,418 - It's not a songbird. - Shh. 494 00:19:09,420 --> 00:19:10,989 An impression, then. 495 00:19:10,991 --> 00:19:14,028 Lastly, we can't help but notice 496 00:19:14,030 --> 00:19:16,165 that he was by himself when he died. 497 00:19:16,167 --> 00:19:18,036 But of course, we all know 498 00:19:18,038 --> 00:19:20,640 that doesn't mean he was alone. 499 00:19:20,642 --> 00:19:21,944 Because I'm sure 500 00:19:21,946 --> 00:19:23,646 that there were lots of other birds 501 00:19:23,648 --> 00:19:25,050 out there who cared for him 502 00:19:25,052 --> 00:19:27,287 very much. 503 00:19:27,289 --> 00:19:29,726 He will not be forgotten. Amen. 504 00:19:44,691 --> 00:19:46,727 Society teaches us 505 00:19:46,729 --> 00:19:51,002 that having feelings and crying 506 00:19:51,004 --> 00:19:53,640 is bad and wrong. 507 00:19:53,642 --> 00:19:56,279 Well, that's baloney, 508 00:19:56,281 --> 00:20:00,520 because grief isn't wrong. 509 00:20:00,522 --> 00:20:02,992 There is such a thing as good grief. 510 00:20:02,994 --> 00:20:05,430 Just ask Charlie Brown. 511 00:20:12,146 --> 00:20:14,281 Let's get back to work. 512 00:20:28,611 --> 00:20:29,880 Guys, get a broom. 513 00:20:29,882 --> 00:20:31,415 Let's clean this up. 514 00:20:31,417 --> 00:20:33,019 Grab a broom. 515 00:20:33,021 --> 00:20:35,090 You heard me. Mush. 516 00:20:36,231 --> 00:20:46,241 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.