1 00:00:03,881 --> 00:00:05,883 Brain teaser. 2 00:00:05,885 --> 00:00:07,953 I have two coins totaling 15 cents. 3 00:00:07,955 --> 00:00:09,791 One of them is not a nickel. What are they? 4 00:00:09,793 --> 00:00:10,859 A dime and a nickel. 5 00:00:11,762 --> 00:00:13,365 No, I said one of them is not a nickel... 6 00:00:13,367 --> 00:00:14,600 But the other one is. 7 00:00:14,602 --> 00:00:15,803 I've heard that before. 8 00:00:15,805 --> 00:00:19,710 Okay, a man and his son get into a car accident. 9 00:00:19,712 --> 00:00:21,247 They are rushed to the hospital. 10 00:00:21,249 --> 00:00:22,516 The doctor says, 11 00:00:22,518 --> 00:00:23,985 "There's no way I can operate on this boy." 12 00:00:23,987 --> 00:00:25,289 "Because he's my son." 13 00:00:25,291 --> 00:00:26,891 The doctor is the boy's mother. 14 00:00:26,893 --> 00:00:29,430 A man is found hanging from the ceiling. 15 00:00:29,432 --> 00:00:30,866 He stepped on a block of ice, hung himself, 16 00:00:30,868 --> 00:00:32,870 and the ice melted. 17 00:00:32,872 --> 00:00:34,674 A hunter... 18 00:00:34,676 --> 00:00:35,676 It's a polar bear because you're at the North Pole. 19 00:00:35,678 --> 00:00:37,079 Damn it! 20 00:01:10,313 --> 00:01:11,681 Tell me what you did yesterday. 21 00:01:11,683 --> 00:01:13,685 Uh, nothing. 22 00:01:13,687 --> 00:01:15,622 - Nothing? - Yeah, nothing. 23 00:01:15,624 --> 00:01:16,824 How was your day? 24 00:01:16,826 --> 00:01:18,261 I don't care how your day was, Michael. 25 00:01:18,263 --> 00:01:20,465 Wow. 26 00:01:20,467 --> 00:01:22,035 Well, okay. 27 00:01:22,037 --> 00:01:24,073 I don't care how your day was either, Jan. 28 00:01:24,075 --> 00:01:26,077 I was just asking you because you asked me. 29 00:01:26,079 --> 00:01:28,248 Tell me what you did yesterday. 30 00:01:28,250 --> 00:01:29,650 I worked. 31 00:01:29,652 --> 00:01:32,256 And then I went home to my condo. 32 00:01:32,258 --> 00:01:33,758 And Carol came over. 33 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,929 And we had sex. 34 00:01:35,931 --> 00:01:38,301 Is that what you want to hear? 35 00:01:38,303 --> 00:01:41,608 Never, ever, ever sleep with your boss. 36 00:01:41,610 --> 00:01:43,111 I'm so lucky that Jan and I 37 00:01:43,113 --> 00:01:44,814 only got to second base. 38 00:01:44,816 --> 00:01:45,983 Hi, Pam. 39 00:01:45,985 --> 00:01:47,219 - Hi. - I'm great. 40 00:01:47,221 --> 00:01:49,457 So, Pam, I'd like you to keep 41 00:01:49,459 --> 00:01:51,761 a log of everything Michael does hour by hour 42 00:01:51,763 --> 00:01:52,963 so that we can analyze it at corporate, okay? 43 00:01:52,965 --> 00:01:55,034 Oh, I don't know... Thanks, Pam. 44 00:01:56,905 --> 00:01:57,973 It's weird. 45 00:01:57,975 --> 00:01:59,310 Jan used to treat Michael 46 00:01:59,312 --> 00:02:00,912 like he was a 10-year-old. 47 00:02:00,914 --> 00:02:03,084 But lately it's like he's five. 48 00:02:03,086 --> 00:02:04,954 So, are you excited? 49 00:02:04,956 --> 00:02:06,457 Yeah. 50 00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:08,695 Very excited? 51 00:02:08,697 --> 00:02:11,534 Yes, I'm very excited. 52 00:02:11,536 --> 00:02:13,338 Extremely excited? 53 00:02:14,374 --> 00:02:17,279 Just very... That's cool. 54 00:02:17,281 --> 00:02:19,550 I have spent a year here. 55 00:02:19,552 --> 00:02:24,293 And I have to commit or get out, so... 56 00:02:24,295 --> 00:02:26,130 Dwight's the top salesman in the company, 57 00:02:26,132 --> 00:02:28,568 and he's taking me on my first sales call today. 58 00:02:28,570 --> 00:02:31,307 And, um, I'm excited. 59 00:02:31,309 --> 00:02:35,549 I am very excited. Ryan hasn't made a sale yet. 60 00:02:35,551 --> 00:02:39,990 But more importantly, he hasn't made an ally yet. 61 00:02:39,992 --> 00:02:42,396 Is he gonna be a slacker- loser-wise-ass like Jim was, 62 00:02:42,398 --> 00:02:46,036 or is he gonna join the Dwight Army of Champions? 63 00:02:46,038 --> 00:02:47,773 So, what if they're not talking much? 64 00:02:47,775 --> 00:02:51,012 Then does it make sense to kind of lead the conversation? 65 00:02:51,014 --> 00:02:52,850 You know, just until it gets to a point where 66 00:02:52,852 --> 00:02:55,655 they are asking questions? 67 00:03:02,537 --> 00:03:05,942 So, where's the sales office? 68 00:03:05,944 --> 00:03:07,880 When you are ready to see the sales office, 69 00:03:07,882 --> 00:03:10,285 the sales office will present itself to you. 70 00:03:11,722 --> 00:03:15,027 Your journey begins now. 71 00:03:20,106 --> 00:03:22,209 Hey. 72 00:03:22,211 --> 00:03:24,012 What? 73 00:03:24,014 --> 00:03:26,016 My chair's squeaking. 74 00:03:26,018 --> 00:03:27,052 Is it? 75 00:03:27,054 --> 00:03:28,521 You took my chair. 76 00:03:28,523 --> 00:03:30,826 No, I didn't. 77 00:03:30,828 --> 00:03:32,496 I took back the chair that you took from me. 78 00:03:32,498 --> 00:03:33,798 But I didn't take your chair. 79 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:35,034 When you get up, 80 00:03:35,036 --> 00:03:37,272 I'm just gonna take it back anyway, so... 81 00:03:37,274 --> 00:03:39,777 So I guess I can't get up. 82 00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:57,913 Hey, Coselli! 83 00:03:57,915 --> 00:04:00,218 The Coz! The Cosby. 84 00:04:00,220 --> 00:04:01,854 Hey, hey, hey! 85 00:04:01,856 --> 00:04:04,593 I love Jell-O Pudding Pops! 86 00:04:04,595 --> 00:04:08,868 My son Theo love Jell-O Pudding Pops too. 87 00:04:08,870 --> 00:04:11,674 Do you know where we are, Temp? 88 00:04:11,676 --> 00:04:13,311 I know where we're not. 89 00:04:13,313 --> 00:04:16,551 I hold in my hand a beet seed. 90 00:04:16,553 --> 00:04:18,821 Take it. 91 00:04:18,823 --> 00:04:19,823 Ah... 92 00:04:19,825 --> 00:04:20,892 When you... 93 00:04:22,530 --> 00:04:23,598 Damn it. 94 00:04:28,442 --> 00:04:29,476 Hey, Big Tuna. 95 00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:30,845 Can I talk to you for a second? 96 00:04:30,847 --> 00:04:32,115 Sure. 97 00:04:32,117 --> 00:04:34,053 Can you stand up 98 00:04:34,055 --> 00:04:36,390 and talk to me over there? 99 00:04:39,764 --> 00:04:40,865 That's it? 100 00:04:40,867 --> 00:04:42,169 That's what you came up with? 101 00:04:42,171 --> 00:04:44,640 I'm acting my heart out here. 102 00:04:44,642 --> 00:04:46,677 - Really, huh? - Yeah, really. 103 00:04:46,679 --> 00:04:48,982 You asked for my help, so I helped. 104 00:04:53,325 --> 00:04:56,631 Attention, Scranton Business Park. 105 00:04:56,633 --> 00:04:58,101 There will be complimentary pretzels 106 00:04:58,103 --> 00:05:01,540 available in the lobby from now until 4:00 107 00:05:01,542 --> 00:05:03,978 as a thank-you to our loyal tenants. 108 00:05:10,693 --> 00:05:12,696 Once a year, they bring in a little cart. 109 00:05:12,698 --> 00:05:14,533 And they give away free pretzels. 110 00:05:14,535 --> 00:05:17,539 It's really not a big deal. 111 00:05:17,541 --> 00:05:19,243 To some people it is. 112 00:05:19,245 --> 00:05:20,812 Productivity is important. 113 00:05:20,814 --> 00:05:22,849 But how can I be productive 114 00:05:22,851 --> 00:05:24,520 if I have this one little thing in my brain 115 00:05:24,522 --> 00:05:26,157 that I cannot get out? 116 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:28,761 And that one little thing is a soft pretzel. 117 00:05:28,763 --> 00:05:30,498 So I'm just gonna have my soft pretzel. 118 00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:31,500 And I'll get to work. 119 00:05:31,502 --> 00:05:32,903 And I'll be super productive. 120 00:05:32,905 --> 00:05:34,005 Look out for me! 121 00:05:35,476 --> 00:05:37,479 Oh, sh... 122 00:05:37,481 --> 00:05:39,149 Come on. 123 00:05:48,702 --> 00:05:52,209 And just as you have planted your seed in the ground, 124 00:05:52,211 --> 00:05:55,315 I am going to plant my seed in you. 125 00:05:55,317 --> 00:05:57,753 I don't think you know what you're saying. 126 00:05:57,755 --> 00:05:59,323 Smells pretty bad, doesn't it? 127 00:05:59,325 --> 00:06:01,060 Uh-huh. 128 00:06:01,062 --> 00:06:02,696 It's called bullcrap. 129 00:06:02,698 --> 00:06:05,168 And a client can smell it from a mile away. 130 00:06:05,170 --> 00:06:06,904 Gotcha. 131 00:06:06,906 --> 00:06:07,906 Oh, hey... 132 00:06:07,908 --> 00:06:09,309 I forgot something in my car. 133 00:06:09,311 --> 00:06:10,845 I'll be right back. 134 00:06:10,847 --> 00:06:12,482 Okay. 135 00:06:25,409 --> 00:06:27,479 Of course. 136 00:06:29,918 --> 00:06:32,756 I wake up every morning in a bed that's too small. 137 00:06:32,758 --> 00:06:34,993 Drive my daughter to a school that's too expensive. 138 00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:36,697 And then I go to work to a job 139 00:06:36,699 --> 00:06:38,568 for which I get paid too little. 140 00:06:38,570 --> 00:06:41,240 But on pretzel day... 141 00:06:41,242 --> 00:06:44,146 Well, I like pretzel day. 142 00:06:44,148 --> 00:06:45,748 'Cause they're acting all tough and everything. 143 00:06:45,750 --> 00:06:47,719 But what they were rapping about was cupcakes 144 00:06:47,721 --> 00:06:49,056 and The Chronicles of Narnia. 145 00:06:49,058 --> 00:06:51,360 Who invented cupcakes, right? 146 00:06:51,362 --> 00:06:52,495 - I want to kill them. - Hey! 147 00:06:52,497 --> 00:06:53,564 Hey, Phyllis! 148 00:06:53,566 --> 00:06:54,766 What are you doing? 149 00:06:54,768 --> 00:06:56,203 I'm just saying hi to Bob. 150 00:06:56,205 --> 00:06:57,839 No, I think you're cutting in line. 151 00:06:57,841 --> 00:06:59,309 Well, settle down, Scott. 152 00:06:59,311 --> 00:07:00,812 No, I'm not gonna settle down. No, no way. 153 00:07:00,814 --> 00:07:02,249 - Uh-uh, boo! - Get in the back, please. 154 00:07:02,251 --> 00:07:04,753 - Boo! - Back of the line! 155 00:07:04,755 --> 00:07:05,989 Thank you! 156 00:07:05,991 --> 00:07:07,759 Back of the line. 157 00:07:08,695 --> 00:07:09,997 That's right. 158 00:07:09,999 --> 00:07:11,567 What a pair of Marys. 159 00:07:11,569 --> 00:07:13,337 This is pretzel day. 160 00:07:13,339 --> 00:07:14,339 "Hey, Dwight, you're a great salesman. 161 00:07:14,341 --> 00:07:15,341 Can you teach me?" 162 00:07:15,343 --> 00:07:16,510 "Sure, Ryan. 163 00:07:16,512 --> 00:07:17,846 "I'll make you kneel in cow manure. 164 00:07:17,848 --> 00:07:19,917 And I'll abandon you in a beet field." 165 00:07:19,919 --> 00:07:21,520 "Oh, that sounds great, Dwight. 166 00:07:21,522 --> 00:07:22,689 "I really appreciate that. 167 00:07:22,691 --> 00:07:25,795 Thank you so much for your mentorship." 168 00:07:29,671 --> 00:07:33,311 Congratulations, resourceful salesman. 169 00:07:33,313 --> 00:07:36,250 You have passed the second challenge. 170 00:07:36,252 --> 00:07:39,021 Welcome to Schrute Farm! 171 00:08:01,502 --> 00:08:02,569 It's gonna be in my head all day. 172 00:08:02,571 --> 00:08:03,738 Please? 173 00:08:07,647 --> 00:08:09,316 This is not a proportionate response. 174 00:08:23,045 --> 00:08:25,748 Whatever happened to those guys? 175 00:08:28,822 --> 00:08:29,823 Michael. 176 00:08:29,825 --> 00:08:30,858 No cuts! 177 00:08:30,860 --> 00:08:32,195 Oh, Pam. 178 00:08:32,197 --> 00:08:33,531 Just the woman I'd like to see. 179 00:08:33,533 --> 00:08:34,533 You read my mind. 180 00:08:34,535 --> 00:08:35,568 Great. 181 00:08:35,570 --> 00:08:37,138 I thought you might want to use this time 182 00:08:37,140 --> 00:08:38,240 to authorize some checks. 183 00:08:38,242 --> 00:08:39,543 I thought that maybe you could 184 00:08:39,545 --> 00:08:41,046 wait in line for me while I go to the bathroom. 185 00:08:41,048 --> 00:08:42,348 You're an angel. 186 00:08:42,350 --> 00:08:44,286 Hey, why don't you just go up to your office, 187 00:08:44,288 --> 00:08:45,321 get some work done, 188 00:08:45,323 --> 00:08:46,356 and I'll bring you a pretzel? 189 00:08:46,358 --> 00:08:47,992 Because I like them a certain way. 190 00:08:47,994 --> 00:08:49,296 And if it gets screwed up, 191 00:08:49,298 --> 00:08:51,266 then this whole thing's blown. 192 00:08:51,268 --> 00:08:52,969 You know, I just think it's really important that 193 00:08:52,971 --> 00:08:54,473 you be productive today. 194 00:08:54,475 --> 00:08:56,710 Pam, productivity starts with 195 00:08:56,712 --> 00:08:58,914 patience and determination. 196 00:08:58,916 --> 00:09:00,685 Okay. 197 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,003 It is time for your next test. 198 00:09:10,005 --> 00:09:12,142 You have planted the beet seed. 199 00:09:12,144 --> 00:09:14,946 You have walked the long, lonely walk of loneliness. 200 00:09:14,948 --> 00:09:15,948 Look, man. 201 00:09:15,950 --> 00:09:17,452 I was in a frat in college. 202 00:09:17,454 --> 00:09:19,189 So I know what you're doing. 203 00:09:19,191 --> 00:09:20,191 I get it. 204 00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:21,326 You know what your problem is? 205 00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:23,063 You know why you haven't made any sales? 206 00:09:23,065 --> 00:09:24,499 Because you think you know everything. 207 00:09:24,501 --> 00:09:26,035 You have to trust that maybe 208 00:09:26,037 --> 00:09:27,138 there are other people 209 00:09:27,140 --> 00:09:28,774 that can teach you things. 210 00:09:28,776 --> 00:09:31,280 Are you ready to learn? 211 00:09:31,282 --> 00:09:34,286 Are you ready for the final test? 212 00:09:34,288 --> 00:09:35,288 Yeah. 213 00:09:35,290 --> 00:09:36,490 Come on! 214 00:09:40,799 --> 00:09:41,800 Thank you. 215 00:09:41,802 --> 00:09:42,802 Hi, please tell me you have 216 00:09:42,804 --> 00:09:43,804 a sweet pretzel left. 217 00:09:43,806 --> 00:09:45,508 - We do. - Thank God. 218 00:09:45,510 --> 00:09:46,710 And we have 18 different toppings. 219 00:09:46,712 --> 00:09:48,280 We have sweet glaze, cinnamon sugar, 220 00:09:48,282 --> 00:09:49,749 chocolate, white chocolate, 221 00:09:49,751 --> 00:09:52,488 fudge, M&Ms, caramel dip, mint chip, chocolate chip, 222 00:09:52,490 --> 00:09:54,826 marshmallows, nuts, toffee nuts, coconuts, 223 00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:57,298 peanut butter drizzle, Oreos, sprinkles, cotton candy bits, 224 00:09:57,300 --> 00:09:58,334 and powdered sugar. 225 00:09:58,336 --> 00:10:01,106 Is there any way that you could do all? 226 00:10:01,108 --> 00:10:02,108 All of them? 227 00:10:02,110 --> 00:10:03,110 The works? You got it. 228 00:10:03,112 --> 00:10:04,412 All right! 229 00:10:04,414 --> 00:10:05,748 Thank you. 230 00:10:06,784 --> 00:10:08,654 Please be seated. 231 00:10:14,734 --> 00:10:16,002 What was that? 232 00:10:16,004 --> 00:10:17,238 Pay no attention to the spirits 233 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:18,607 that haunt this hallowed ground. 234 00:10:18,609 --> 00:10:20,478 Is that your cousin Mose? 235 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:21,580 Yes. 236 00:10:21,582 --> 00:10:25,054 Mose is my cousin, and he lives here. 237 00:10:25,056 --> 00:10:27,425 He will always be my best friend. 238 00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:29,095 Unless things go well with Ryan today. 239 00:10:29,097 --> 00:10:30,464 In which case I won't hang out with Mose 240 00:10:30,466 --> 00:10:31,767 so much anymore. 241 00:10:31,769 --> 00:10:35,741 What is the greatest danger facing Dunder-Mifflin? 242 00:10:35,743 --> 00:10:38,814 Outsourcing and consolidation of competition. 243 00:10:38,816 --> 00:10:40,117 Wrong. Flash floods. 244 00:10:40,119 --> 00:10:42,288 What is the true cause 245 00:10:42,290 --> 00:10:45,361 of Robert Mifflin's suicide? 246 00:10:46,731 --> 00:10:47,732 Depression? 247 00:10:47,734 --> 00:10:49,135 Wrong. He hated himself. 248 00:10:49,137 --> 00:10:52,975 What is the Dharma Initiative? 249 00:10:52,977 --> 00:10:55,147 I can't believe that Ryan is not back yet. 250 00:10:55,149 --> 00:10:56,149 Where could they be? 251 00:10:56,151 --> 00:10:57,885 Sales take a long time. 252 00:10:57,887 --> 00:10:59,189 Oh, my God. I'm so worried. 253 00:10:59,191 --> 00:11:01,693 I'm sure Dwight will protect him. 254 00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:03,464 I don't know. Dwight's so weird. 255 00:11:03,466 --> 00:11:05,701 He's not weird. 256 00:11:05,703 --> 00:11:07,605 He's just individualistic. 257 00:11:07,607 --> 00:11:08,941 No, he's a freak. 258 00:11:08,943 --> 00:11:10,211 You're a freak! 259 00:11:14,153 --> 00:11:15,788 Final question, 260 00:11:15,790 --> 00:11:18,193 young Ryan Howard. 261 00:11:21,100 --> 00:11:22,769 What... 262 00:11:25,308 --> 00:11:30,217 is Michael Scott's greatest fear? 263 00:11:30,219 --> 00:11:33,690 Um, loneliness. 264 00:11:33,692 --> 00:11:35,227 Maybe women. 265 00:11:35,229 --> 00:11:36,563 Wrong. 266 00:11:36,565 --> 00:11:38,801 He's not afraid of anything. 267 00:11:38,803 --> 00:11:41,239 Also, I would've accepted snakes. 268 00:11:42,376 --> 00:11:44,546 Fear is what it's all about. 269 00:11:44,548 --> 00:11:48,153 You cannot sell while undergoing fear. 270 00:11:48,155 --> 00:11:50,791 You need to vanquish fear! 271 00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:55,835 One must wrestle fear to the ground. 272 00:11:55,837 --> 00:11:57,972 You will now wrestle my cousin Mose! 273 00:11:57,974 --> 00:11:59,943 No! Okay, all right! 274 00:11:59,945 --> 00:12:01,179 Wrestle him to the ground! 275 00:12:01,181 --> 00:12:02,248 This is over, okay? 276 00:12:02,250 --> 00:12:03,383 You're a freak. 277 00:12:03,385 --> 00:12:04,986 I'm not doing this anymore and this is over. 278 00:12:04,988 --> 00:12:06,323 - Ryan... - Good-bye. 279 00:12:06,325 --> 00:12:07,425 Ryan, you don't have to wrestle him. 280 00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:10,164 Ryan, just get in the coffin. 281 00:12:10,866 --> 00:12:13,103 Ryan... 282 00:12:13,105 --> 00:12:15,006 Bye, Ryan. 283 00:12:17,412 --> 00:12:20,384 He seemed nice. 284 00:12:20,386 --> 00:12:22,288 Where are all the animals? 285 00:12:24,761 --> 00:12:26,396 Ryan, come on. I am sorry. 286 00:12:26,398 --> 00:12:27,832 I am sorry. 287 00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:28,834 Mose is sorry too. 288 00:12:28,836 --> 00:12:29,802 Look... 289 00:12:29,804 --> 00:12:32,742 He sent over a basket with eggs 290 00:12:32,744 --> 00:12:34,145 and some fat back bacon. 291 00:12:34,147 --> 00:12:35,114 And look... 292 00:12:35,116 --> 00:12:37,718 Something he whittled. 293 00:12:55,655 --> 00:12:57,325 You still mad? 294 00:13:01,467 --> 00:13:02,969 It's just... 295 00:13:02,971 --> 00:13:05,006 Jim and I didn't get along. 296 00:13:05,008 --> 00:13:08,814 And... I didn't want it to be that way again. 297 00:13:09,950 --> 00:13:12,221 You know, I wanted us to be a team. 298 00:13:12,223 --> 00:13:13,890 An unstoppable team 299 00:13:13,892 --> 00:13:15,394 that competed against other teams. 300 00:13:15,396 --> 00:13:17,465 Look, that's not what I wanted, okay? 301 00:13:17,467 --> 00:13:20,404 I just wanted to go on a sales call. 302 00:13:20,406 --> 00:13:23,377 Screw gun! The sales call! 303 00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,232 Mr. Coselli. 304 00:13:51,234 --> 00:13:52,334 Hey, hey, hey! 305 00:13:52,336 --> 00:13:54,338 The Cos! What's going on? 306 00:13:54,340 --> 00:13:55,507 Do we have a deal? 307 00:13:55,509 --> 00:13:57,010 Deal or no deal? 308 00:13:57,012 --> 00:13:58,380 Let's make a deal. 309 00:13:58,382 --> 00:14:00,016 So what is the deal? 310 00:14:00,018 --> 00:14:01,219 Establish time frames. 311 00:14:01,221 --> 00:14:03,690 Keep the phrase "real dollars" in their heads. 312 00:14:03,692 --> 00:14:05,527 And always keep the power in the conversation. 313 00:14:05,529 --> 00:14:07,264 That's why you're losing them on the cold calls. 314 00:14:07,266 --> 00:14:09,736 Because you say the word "please" too much. 315 00:14:09,738 --> 00:14:11,038 Wait, can you go back? 316 00:14:11,041 --> 00:14:12,908 Michael always says K-I-S-S. 317 00:14:12,910 --> 00:14:14,579 "Keep it simple, stupid." 318 00:14:14,581 --> 00:14:15,714 Great advice. 319 00:14:15,716 --> 00:14:17,551 Hurts my feelings every time. 320 00:14:17,553 --> 00:14:20,157 Okay, I'm gonna establish time frames. 321 00:14:20,159 --> 00:14:21,459 Good. 322 00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:22,695 I'm gonna put everything in terms of real dollars. 323 00:14:22,697 --> 00:14:23,764 Right. 324 00:14:23,766 --> 00:14:24,899 I'm gonna ask a lot of questions 325 00:14:24,901 --> 00:14:26,369 that all have sort of positive answers. 326 00:14:26,371 --> 00:14:27,404 So they'll say "That would be better" or 327 00:14:27,406 --> 00:14:28,440 "We would like that." 328 00:14:28,442 --> 00:14:29,642 Exactly, yes, good. 329 00:14:29,644 --> 00:14:31,112 I'm going to try to be confident 330 00:14:31,114 --> 00:14:32,181 but not cocky. 331 00:14:33,751 --> 00:14:35,754 Oh, hey, everyone. 332 00:14:35,756 --> 00:14:37,825 I am officially streamlining the efficiency 333 00:14:37,827 --> 00:14:39,395 of this corporation. 334 00:14:39,397 --> 00:14:40,864 - Second... - Second? 335 00:14:40,866 --> 00:14:42,168 Yes, second, Toby. 336 00:14:42,170 --> 00:14:44,939 Second, I am insisting on increased accountability 337 00:14:44,941 --> 00:14:46,142 from every single one of you. 338 00:14:46,144 --> 00:14:47,912 Account... Michael, what's going on? 339 00:14:47,914 --> 00:14:49,215 And I will be taking questions. 340 00:14:49,217 --> 00:14:51,052 Did you have a lot of sugar today, Michael? 341 00:14:51,054 --> 00:14:52,221 What's on your suit? 342 00:14:52,223 --> 00:14:53,290 Caramel dip. 343 00:14:53,292 --> 00:14:54,492 But one question at a time, please. 344 00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:55,961 Phyllis, Stanley... 345 00:14:55,963 --> 00:14:57,131 I want you to switch desks. 346 00:14:57,133 --> 00:14:58,767 I'm going to reorganize 347 00:14:58,769 --> 00:15:00,671 and restructure the physical layout 348 00:15:00,673 --> 00:15:02,274 of the office to maximize everything. 349 00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:04,345 I think we're getting a lot done, don't you? 350 00:15:04,347 --> 00:15:05,447 On paper, at least. 351 00:15:05,449 --> 00:15:07,351 And we are, after all, a paper company. 352 00:15:07,353 --> 00:15:08,753 Are we not? Are we not? 353 00:15:08,755 --> 00:15:09,789 Are we not? Are you with me? 354 00:15:09,791 --> 00:15:11,759 Are you with me? Thank you very much. 355 00:15:14,433 --> 00:15:15,734 They really didn't like me. 356 00:15:15,736 --> 00:15:17,036 They did not. 357 00:15:17,038 --> 00:15:19,242 But they didn't have to say it to your face. 358 00:15:19,244 --> 00:15:20,744 I don't get it. 359 00:15:20,746 --> 00:15:22,681 I don't get what I did wrong. 360 00:15:22,683 --> 00:15:24,352 Not everything's a lesson, Ryan. 361 00:15:24,354 --> 00:15:25,420 Sometimes you just fail. 362 00:15:25,422 --> 00:15:27,424 It's those online paper jerks. 363 00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:29,462 The whole business is changing. 364 00:15:29,464 --> 00:15:30,497 You know what? 365 00:15:30,499 --> 00:15:31,499 They're gonna be screwed 366 00:15:31,501 --> 00:15:33,370 once this whole Internet fad is over. 367 00:15:33,372 --> 00:15:35,207 What are you doing? Oh, no! 368 00:15:35,209 --> 00:15:38,546 No, no, no! No, Ryan! 369 00:15:38,548 --> 00:15:41,319 Yes! Ryan the Temp, yeah! 370 00:15:41,321 --> 00:15:44,425 Come on, come on! 371 00:15:44,427 --> 00:15:45,427 Courtesy of Dunder-Mifflin! 372 00:15:45,429 --> 00:15:46,663 Oh, come on! 373 00:15:47,732 --> 00:15:49,835 - Drive! - You drive! 374 00:15:52,543 --> 00:15:54,879 Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam. 375 00:15:54,881 --> 00:15:55,948 Oh, hi, Jan. 376 00:15:57,552 --> 00:15:59,889 He's, uh, on a sales call. 377 00:15:59,891 --> 00:16:01,359 No message? 378 00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:04,030 Bye, Jan. 379 00:16:17,225 --> 00:16:18,893 Temp! Temp! 380 00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:20,797 Temp! Temp... 381 00:16:20,799 --> 00:16:22,701 Ryan! Ryan! 382 00:16:22,703 --> 00:16:24,438 Ryan! Ryan! 383 00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:25,607 Yes! 384 00:16:25,609 --> 00:16:27,177 Just think. 385 00:16:27,179 --> 00:16:28,713 That temp agency could've sent you anywhere. 386 00:16:28,715 --> 00:16:32,054 I think about that all the time. 387 00:16:33,958 --> 00:16:37,364 - Good night, Pam. - Good night. 388 00:16:37,366 --> 00:16:38,867 Hey, what time is it? 389 00:16:38,869 --> 00:16:40,137 5:20. 390 00:16:40,139 --> 00:16:41,139 AM or PM? 391 00:16:41,141 --> 00:16:42,274 PM. 392 00:16:42,276 --> 00:16:43,877 Oh, good. 393 00:16:43,879 --> 00:16:44,879 These came for you. 394 00:16:44,881 --> 00:16:46,282 Contracts. 395 00:16:46,284 --> 00:16:47,284 Brent Coselli. 396 00:16:47,286 --> 00:16:50,824 Oh, Coselli. With the Jell-O. 397 00:16:50,826 --> 00:16:52,194 This is a huge sale. 398 00:16:52,196 --> 00:16:54,498 Yes, right. Good. 399 00:16:56,870 --> 00:16:57,971 Good night, Michael. 400 00:16:57,973 --> 00:16:59,642 Good night. 401 00:17:04,754 --> 00:17:06,422 Dunder-Mifflin. 402 00:17:06,424 --> 00:17:07,424 Oh, hey. 403 00:17:07,426 --> 00:17:08,626 Oh, my God. 404 00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:09,962 Hi. 405 00:17:09,964 --> 00:17:11,132 Hi. 406 00:17:11,134 --> 00:17:12,768 Sorry, I forgot Kevin's extension. 407 00:17:12,770 --> 00:17:14,371 It's a fantasy football thing. 408 00:17:14,373 --> 00:17:15,574 Oh. 409 00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:16,809 And I was just gonna go through the system 410 00:17:16,811 --> 00:17:19,648 because I didn't think you'd be there. 411 00:17:19,650 --> 00:17:21,119 Why are you still there? 412 00:17:21,121 --> 00:17:23,490 I had to work late. 413 00:17:23,492 --> 00:17:25,127 Jan's making me keep a log 414 00:17:25,129 --> 00:17:26,762 of everything Michael does all day. 415 00:17:26,764 --> 00:17:28,967 Wow. 416 00:17:31,740 --> 00:17:33,643 Do you think you could send me a copy of that? 417 00:17:33,645 --> 00:17:35,480 Yeah, totally. 418 00:17:39,021 --> 00:17:40,357 So... So... 419 00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:42,161 - Do you... - Oh, I'm sorry, go ahead. 420 00:17:42,163 --> 00:17:43,930 Uh, no... I, um... 421 00:17:43,932 --> 00:17:46,135 Everything's pretty much the same here. 422 00:17:46,137 --> 00:17:47,137 Oh, good. 423 00:17:47,139 --> 00:17:49,341 A little different. 424 00:17:49,343 --> 00:17:51,546 What time is it there? 425 00:17:51,548 --> 00:17:54,552 What time is it here? 426 00:17:56,390 --> 00:17:57,991 We're in the same time zone. 427 00:17:57,993 --> 00:18:00,630 Oh, yeah. Right. 428 00:18:00,632 --> 00:18:02,634 How far away did you think we were? 429 00:18:02,636 --> 00:18:04,972 I don't know. It felt far. 430 00:18:07,879 --> 00:18:09,648 Yeah. 431 00:18:09,650 --> 00:18:11,686 - I have a question for you. - What? 432 00:18:11,688 --> 00:18:13,423 How many words per minute 433 00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:15,360 does the average person type? 434 00:18:15,362 --> 00:18:16,462 I type 90. 435 00:18:16,464 --> 00:18:18,199 Shut up. 436 00:18:18,201 --> 00:18:19,969 Mavis Beacon doesn't even type 90. 437 00:18:19,971 --> 00:18:21,239 It's true. 438 00:18:21,241 --> 00:18:22,674 Okay, I said average. 439 00:18:22,676 --> 00:18:23,676 70? 440 00:18:23,678 --> 00:18:24,678 How many do you type? 441 00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:25,814 Forget it. 442 00:18:25,816 --> 00:18:27,918 I was just about to brag. Forget it. 443 00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:29,655 - Come on, tell me. - No. 444 00:18:29,657 --> 00:18:31,192 You have to tell me now. 445 00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:32,227 65. 446 00:18:32,229 --> 00:18:36,001 Okay, no need to laugh. 447 00:18:36,003 --> 00:18:38,640 No, it's... That's respectable. 448 00:18:38,642 --> 00:18:39,742 Respectable? 449 00:18:39,744 --> 00:18:42,247 So, okay, I'm watching the movie. 450 00:18:42,249 --> 00:18:45,086 By myself, because I just wanted 451 00:18:45,088 --> 00:18:46,622 a relaxing evening at home. 452 00:18:46,624 --> 00:18:49,561 Okay. 453 00:18:49,563 --> 00:18:50,730 And I'm freaking out! 454 00:18:50,732 --> 00:18:51,766 Yeah. 455 00:18:51,768 --> 00:18:52,768 That movie is so scary. 456 00:18:52,770 --> 00:18:53,770 I know. 457 00:18:53,772 --> 00:18:55,206 But I'm holding on 458 00:18:55,208 --> 00:18:57,344 because I keep waiting for Sandra Bullock to show up. 459 00:18:57,346 --> 00:18:58,746 No way! 460 00:18:58,748 --> 00:19:03,089 How do you confuse 28 Days with 28 Days Later? 461 00:19:03,091 --> 00:19:04,291 Because I got it at Blockbuster 462 00:19:04,293 --> 00:19:05,760 and they don't put the pictures on the box. 463 00:19:05,762 --> 00:19:08,099 You're making this up. 464 00:19:08,101 --> 00:19:09,835 Would I make that up? 465 00:19:09,837 --> 00:19:11,339 Yes! 466 00:19:11,341 --> 00:19:13,343 Fancy New Beesly would make that up. 467 00:19:13,345 --> 00:19:15,146 New apartment, new stories... 468 00:19:15,148 --> 00:19:17,818 Oh, yeah, My fancy new apartment. 469 00:19:17,820 --> 00:19:21,459 I have one bedroom, one bathroom, and a closet. 470 00:19:21,461 --> 00:19:22,627 And how many kitchens? 471 00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:23,763 I have one kitchen. 472 00:19:23,765 --> 00:19:25,767 Wow, you got totally taken 473 00:19:25,769 --> 00:19:27,304 for a ride, Beesly. 474 00:19:27,306 --> 00:19:29,174 It's actually... 475 00:19:29,176 --> 00:19:31,679 Most apartments these days have, like, three. 476 00:19:31,681 --> 00:19:32,681 Three kitchens? 477 00:19:32,683 --> 00:19:34,585 Yes. 478 00:19:34,587 --> 00:19:35,754 How are you gonna cook 479 00:19:35,756 --> 00:19:37,190 every meal of the day in one kitchen? 480 00:19:37,192 --> 00:19:38,726 Hey, Ryan. Are you okay? 481 00:19:38,728 --> 00:19:40,363 Pam? 482 00:19:40,365 --> 00:19:42,300 Yeah. Yeah. 483 00:19:42,302 --> 00:19:43,669 Pam? 484 00:19:43,671 --> 00:19:45,473 Um, okay. 485 00:19:45,475 --> 00:19:46,742 Bye. 486 00:19:46,744 --> 00:19:48,780 Oh, yeah. I should probably... 487 00:19:48,782 --> 00:19:50,283 Oh, no... I was, um... 488 00:19:50,285 --> 00:19:51,285 I don't know. 489 00:19:51,287 --> 00:19:52,854 - You have to go? - Yeah. 490 00:19:52,856 --> 00:19:53,856 No, I should probably go too. 491 00:19:53,858 --> 00:19:54,958 Okay. 492 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,097 I mean, yeah. 493 00:19:57,099 --> 00:19:58,166 Yeah. 494 00:20:00,671 --> 00:20:02,140 Bye, Pam. 495 00:20:02,142 --> 00:20:04,545 Bye, Jim. 496 00:20:31,500 --> 00:20:33,569 364 days... Until the next pretzel day. 497 00:20:34,579 --> 00:20:44,589 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.