1
00:00:01,271 --> 00:00:02,772
There you go.

2
00:00:02,774 --> 00:00:03,806
Oh.

3
00:00:08,412 --> 00:00:09,645
Nice dress, Ryan.

4
00:00:09,647 --> 00:00:12,481
It's not a dress.
It's a kurta.

5
00:00:12,483 --> 00:00:13,582
Okay.

6
00:00:13,584 --> 00:00:15,251
Tonight, one of our most

7
00:00:15,253 --> 00:00:17,353
ethnic coworkers, Kelly,

8
00:00:17,355 --> 00:00:20,056
has invited us all
to a Diwali celebration

9
00:00:20,058 --> 00:00:21,891
put on by her community.

10
00:00:21,893 --> 00:00:23,993
What is Diwali, you may ask?

11
00:00:23,995 --> 00:00:27,430
Well, to have Kelly explain it,

12
00:00:27,432 --> 00:00:28,664
"It's..."

13
00:00:30,702 --> 00:00:32,268
"It's so super, fun.

14
00:00:32,270 --> 00:00:34,203
And it's gonna be great."

15
00:00:34,205 --> 00:00:36,372
A lot of gods
with unpronounceable names.

16
00:00:36,374 --> 00:00:38,174
20 minutes later, you find out

17
00:00:38,176 --> 00:00:40,776
that it's essentially
a Hindu Halloween.

18
00:00:40,778 --> 00:00:42,211
You look so handsome.

19
00:00:42,213 --> 00:00:43,245
You really do.

20
00:00:43,247 --> 00:00:45,247
I love the material.

21
00:00:45,249 --> 00:00:46,348
I know.

22
00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:47,590
How come you didn't get me one?

23
00:00:48,785 --> 00:00:49,819
I...

24
00:00:51,670 --> 00:00:57,744
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

25
00:01:21,852 --> 00:01:24,386
Okay, so between
Meredith's minivan,

26
00:01:24,388 --> 00:01:25,821
and if I borrow Bob's Yukon,

27
00:01:25,823 --> 00:01:28,257
that should fit about 12 people.

28
00:01:28,259 --> 00:01:29,892
I actually might not go.

29
00:01:29,894 --> 00:01:31,627
I'm feeling kind of tired.

30
00:01:31,629 --> 00:01:32,795
Do you wanna make Appletinis

31
00:01:32,797 --> 00:01:34,063
and watch Sex and the City
at my place?

32
00:01:34,065 --> 00:01:38,167
Oh, I don't know.
I haven't decided yet.

33
00:01:38,169 --> 00:01:39,235
I don't get why you won't go.

34
00:01:39,237 --> 00:01:40,336
Did I do something wrong?

35
00:01:40,338 --> 00:01:41,904
I mean, I thought we
were really close friends.

36
00:01:41,906 --> 00:01:43,906
I just feel kind of tired,
you know.

37
00:01:43,908 --> 00:01:45,007
Maybe you've got mono.

38
00:01:45,009 --> 00:01:46,041
Maybe.

39
00:01:46,043 --> 00:01:47,576
I just...

40
00:01:47,578 --> 00:01:49,078
I don't really have
anyone to go with.

41
00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:50,613
Well, go with Dwight.

42
00:01:50,615 --> 00:01:52,047
He's single too right?

43
00:01:52,049 --> 00:01:53,415
Yeah, totally single.

44
00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:55,718
100% available.

45
00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:59,088
Are you guys going to this
Indian thing tonight?

46
00:01:59,090 --> 00:02:02,658
I don't know.
Who's, uh, who's going?

47
00:02:02,660 --> 00:02:06,162
Ohh... you mean, like,
is Pam going?

48
00:02:06,164 --> 00:02:08,330
Don't go.
They eat monkey brains.

49
00:02:08,332 --> 00:02:10,266
Hey, hey, hey, stop that.

50
00:02:10,268 --> 00:02:11,333
That is offensive.

51
00:02:11,335 --> 00:02:14,036
Indians do not
eat monkey brains.

52
00:02:14,038 --> 00:02:15,838
And if they do...

53
00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:17,773
sign me up.

54
00:02:17,775 --> 00:02:19,708
Because I am sure
that they are very tasty.

55
00:02:19,710 --> 00:02:22,545
And nutritional.

56
00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:26,849
It's important that this company

57
00:02:26,851 --> 00:02:29,885
celebrates its diversity.

58
00:02:29,887 --> 00:02:31,954
And you know what, Stanley?

59
00:02:31,956 --> 00:02:34,590
Come Kwanzaa time,
I have got you covered, baby.

60
00:02:34,592 --> 00:02:36,392
I don't celebrate Kwanzaa.

61
00:02:36,394 --> 00:02:37,960
Wha... really?

62
00:02:37,962 --> 00:02:39,929
You should.
It's fun.

63
00:02:39,931 --> 00:02:43,532
I love the people here.

64
00:02:43,534 --> 00:02:48,270
And if there was one thing
I don't really care for,

65
00:02:48,272 --> 00:02:51,974
is that they can be
terribly, terribly ignorant

66
00:02:51,976 --> 00:02:53,843
about other cultures.

67
00:02:53,845 --> 00:02:56,312
And I don't want them
embarrassing me

68
00:02:56,314 --> 00:02:58,747
in front of my girlfriend Carol.

69
00:02:58,749 --> 00:03:02,484
Diwali is a very
important holiday

70
00:03:02,486 --> 00:03:03,652
for the Hindus.

71
00:03:03,654 --> 00:03:05,387
But, frankly,
I'm a little appalled

72
00:03:05,389 --> 00:03:09,491
that none of you know very much
about Indian culture.

73
00:03:09,493 --> 00:03:12,027
So with out further adieu,
Kelly!

74
00:03:12,029 --> 00:03:15,130
You are on.

75
00:03:15,132 --> 00:03:17,600
Um, Diwali is awesome.

76
00:03:17,602 --> 00:03:18,901
And there's food,

77
00:03:18,903 --> 00:03:20,736
and there's gonna be dancing.

78
00:03:20,738 --> 00:03:22,872
And, oh,
I got the raddest outfit.

79
00:03:22,874 --> 00:03:24,874
- It has sparkles...
- Kelly...

80
00:03:24,876 --> 00:03:27,142
Um, why don't you tell us
a little bit about

81
00:03:27,144 --> 00:03:29,745
the origins of the holiday?

82
00:03:29,747 --> 00:03:33,082
Oh, um, I don't know.
It's really old, I think.

83
00:03:33,084 --> 00:03:35,117
How many gods do you have?

84
00:03:35,119 --> 00:03:37,152
Like hundreds, I think.
Maybe more than that.

85
00:03:37,154 --> 00:03:39,388
And that blue, busty gal...
what's her story?

86
00:03:39,390 --> 00:03:40,723
She looks like Pam

87
00:03:40,725 --> 00:03:42,091
from the neck down.

88
00:03:42,093 --> 00:03:43,292
Pam wishes.

89
00:03:45,029 --> 00:03:46,829
Kelly, I'll take this one.

90
00:03:46,831 --> 00:03:50,299
Diwali is a celebration
of the coronation god king Rama

91
00:03:50,301 --> 00:03:52,568
after his epic battle
with Ravena,

92
00:03:52,570 --> 00:03:53,836
the demon king of Lanka.

93
00:03:53,838 --> 00:03:55,871
It symbolizes the battle
between good and evil.

94
00:03:55,873 --> 00:03:57,640
All right, all right.
This isn't Lord of the Rings.

95
00:03:57,642 --> 00:03:59,475
Hey, Polly.

96
00:04:01,878 --> 00:04:03,045
Oops, sorry.

97
00:04:03,047 --> 00:04:04,647
Sorry.

98
00:04:04,649 --> 00:04:07,449
I started biking to work.
Josh does it.

99
00:04:07,451 --> 00:04:09,952
And he lives a lot
farther away than I do.

100
00:04:09,954 --> 00:04:12,221
And also, it saves gas money.

101
00:04:12,223 --> 00:04:15,324
It keeps me in shape.
Helps the environment.

102
00:04:15,326 --> 00:04:20,396
And now I know it makes me
really sweaty for work.

103
00:04:20,398 --> 00:04:23,265
Nice basket.

104
00:04:23,267 --> 00:04:25,234
Thank you.

105
00:04:27,604 --> 00:04:29,171
Now, a lot of people say

106
00:04:29,173 --> 00:04:31,674
that Kelly is one in a million.

107
00:04:31,676 --> 00:04:33,008
And that's true,
but it's also not true.

108
00:04:33,010 --> 00:04:34,877
Because, frankly,

109
00:04:34,879 --> 00:04:36,745
there are literally
billions of people

110
00:04:36,747 --> 00:04:38,614
just like Kelly in the world.

111
00:04:38,616 --> 00:04:41,884
Here are some famous Indians.

112
00:04:44,521 --> 00:04:47,957
Subrahmanyan Chandrasekhar.

113
00:04:47,959 --> 00:04:51,493
He is a Nobel-Prize-winning
physicist.

114
00:04:51,495 --> 00:04:52,861
Impressive.

115
00:04:52,863 --> 00:04:54,463
Apu, from The Simpsons.

116
00:04:54,465 --> 00:04:56,899
Hilarious Indian.

117
00:04:56,901 --> 00:04:58,133
M. Night Shyamalan.

118
00:04:58,135 --> 00:05:00,536
The Village, Unbreakable,
Sixth Sense.

119
00:05:00,538 --> 00:05:02,404
I see dead people.

120
00:05:02,406 --> 00:05:04,506
Okay!
Spoiler alert.

121
00:05:04,508 --> 00:05:06,008
He was dead the whole time.

122
00:05:06,010 --> 00:05:07,676
Just stop it!

123
00:05:07,678 --> 00:05:09,244
What's...
Oh, wha...

124
00:05:10,548 --> 00:05:11,880
Where did that come from?

125
00:05:15,652 --> 00:05:17,319
Karen, my chips got stuck

126
00:05:17,321 --> 00:05:18,654
in the vending machine again.

127
00:05:18,656 --> 00:05:21,190
I need your...
skinny little arms.

128
00:05:21,192 --> 00:05:22,624
Oh.

129
00:05:22,626 --> 00:05:23,659
Did you shake it?

130
00:05:23,661 --> 00:05:26,628
Yeah, I shook it, I shook it.

131
00:05:30,133 --> 00:05:32,735
We have such
a roller coaster thing,

132
00:05:32,737 --> 00:05:33,802
Karen and I.

133
00:05:33,804 --> 00:05:35,637
Excuse me?

134
00:05:35,639 --> 00:05:37,306
Roller-coastery friendship.

135
00:05:37,308 --> 00:05:39,641
Hot and cold.
On again, off again.

136
00:05:39,643 --> 00:05:43,012
Sexual-tension-filled
type of deal.

137
00:05:43,014 --> 00:05:45,214
It's very Sam and Diane.

138
00:05:45,216 --> 00:05:47,216
Wow.
From Cheers.

139
00:05:47,218 --> 00:05:48,584
Yep.
Yeah.

140
00:05:48,586 --> 00:05:50,719
And another thing about
the Indian people,

141
00:05:50,721 --> 00:05:52,654
they love sex positions.

142
00:05:52,656 --> 00:05:56,191
I present to you The Kama Sutra.

143
00:05:56,193 --> 00:05:58,961
I mean, look at that.
Who has seen that before?

144
00:05:58,963 --> 00:06:01,797
I have, that's
the union of the monkey.

145
00:06:01,799 --> 00:06:04,333
Oh, that's what they call it.

146
00:06:04,335 --> 00:06:06,335
This is the best meeting
we have ever had.

147
00:06:06,337 --> 00:06:07,369
Thank you, Kevin.

148
00:06:07,371 --> 00:06:09,104
I find this
incredibly offensive.

149
00:06:09,106 --> 00:06:10,839
Well, I find it beautiful.

150
00:06:10,841 --> 00:06:13,776
Well, whatever Kelly wants to do
in her own house is fine.

151
00:06:13,778 --> 00:06:15,677
But we shouldn't
all be subjected to it.

152
00:06:15,679 --> 00:06:17,613
Actually, she's right.

153
00:06:17,615 --> 00:06:19,815
This isn't appropriate.

154
00:06:19,817 --> 00:06:21,050
Why don't I take these?

155
00:06:21,052 --> 00:06:22,451
You're not gonna collect them.

156
00:06:22,453 --> 00:06:24,620
No, this is delightful,
charming culture.

157
00:06:24,622 --> 00:06:27,189
My Indian cultural seminar
was going great

158
00:06:27,191 --> 00:06:30,259
until Toby decided
that he was too immature

159
00:06:30,261 --> 00:06:32,928
to deal with
culturally explicit images.

160
00:06:32,930 --> 00:06:35,664
It's just sex, people.
Everybody does it.

161
00:06:35,666 --> 00:06:38,267
I'm doing it with Carol.

162
00:06:38,269 --> 00:06:41,303
Probably tonight.

163
00:06:42,806 --> 00:06:43,906
All right.

164
00:06:43,908 --> 00:06:45,507
I think you guys
should be all set.

165
00:06:45,509 --> 00:06:47,242
Oh, here's the corporate card
for dinner.

166
00:06:47,244 --> 00:06:48,877
Thanks.
Now, Karen...

167
00:06:48,879 --> 00:06:50,746
Let's keep it
to $20 a person this time.

168
00:06:50,748 --> 00:06:53,215
Got it.

169
00:06:53,217 --> 00:06:55,651
Once a quarter,
the sales staff at this branch

170
00:06:55,653 --> 00:06:58,821
has to stay late to do
order form consolidation.

171
00:06:58,823 --> 00:07:01,290
Which... amazingly,

172
00:07:01,292 --> 00:07:03,759
is even less interesting
than it sounds.

173
00:07:03,761 --> 00:07:06,095
You guys ready to party?

174
00:07:06,097 --> 00:07:07,629
What's that?

175
00:07:07,631 --> 00:07:09,798
I said, are you ready

176
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:11,934
to part-ay!

177
00:07:20,277 --> 00:07:22,845
Isn't this fun,
not wearing shoes?

178
00:07:22,847 --> 00:07:24,746
I wish some of us still
had our shoes on.

179
00:07:24,748 --> 00:07:27,082
Stop it.
It's a disease.

180
00:07:27,084 --> 00:07:28,851
I've... told you.

181
00:07:30,553 --> 00:07:33,822
I thought you said
this was a costume party.

182
00:07:35,458 --> 00:07:37,659
What does that look like to you?

183
00:07:37,661 --> 00:07:39,761
An Indian woman in a sari.

184
00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:41,430
No one's even gonna notice it.

185
00:07:41,432 --> 00:07:42,564
Nice outfit.

186
00:07:42,566 --> 00:07:44,099
Hey, Kevin, it's a costume.

187
00:07:44,101 --> 00:07:46,301
You just cool it, okay?

188
00:07:46,303 --> 00:07:47,870
Carol? Carol.

189
00:07:48,571 --> 00:07:50,205
I'll have one of those as well.

190
00:07:50,207 --> 00:07:52,374
Thank you very much.

191
00:07:52,376 --> 00:07:54,276
Now, these are limes,
lemons, onions.

192
00:07:54,278 --> 00:07:56,111
I'm a vegetarian.
What can I eat?

193
00:07:56,113 --> 00:07:58,280
It's all vegetarian.

194
00:07:58,282 --> 00:07:59,915
I'll just have some bread.

195
00:08:02,285 --> 00:08:04,620
You used your hands.

196
00:08:07,490 --> 00:08:08,490
Oh, yuck.

197
00:08:08,492 --> 00:08:09,492
Oh.

198
00:08:10,895 --> 00:08:13,028
What, is it too spicy?

199
00:08:13,030 --> 00:08:14,296
Yeah.

200
00:08:14,298 --> 00:08:15,497
These s'mores are disgusting.

201
00:08:15,499 --> 00:08:19,134
They're not s'mores.
They're samosas.

202
00:08:20,470 --> 00:08:22,504
Do you think
they have any s'mores?

203
00:08:22,506 --> 00:08:25,374
All they are is chocolate,
graham cracker, and marshmallow.

204
00:08:25,376 --> 00:08:27,276
How difficult would
that have been?

205
00:08:30,246 --> 00:08:33,182
So... you're Kelly's
sisters, huh?

206
00:08:39,123 --> 00:08:40,756
What?
Rupa, Neefa, Tiffany,

207
00:08:40,758 --> 00:08:42,157
stop acting like such
little losers,

208
00:08:42,159 --> 00:08:43,158
and just be cool.

209
00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:45,060
Come on, Ryan.
Come on.

210
00:08:45,062 --> 00:08:47,896
Leave him alone.
I hate you guys.

211
00:08:47,898 --> 00:08:49,665
They said something
about Zach Braff.

212
00:08:49,667 --> 00:08:50,999
Don't even listen to them.

213
00:08:51,001 --> 00:08:52,467
No, you know...

214
00:08:54,070 --> 00:08:56,104
That's very official.

215
00:08:56,106 --> 00:08:57,206
I decided to come.

216
00:08:57,208 --> 00:09:00,409
Uh, I feel a little
underdressed.

217
00:09:00,411 --> 00:09:02,344
But at least I'm not dressed

218
00:09:02,346 --> 00:09:04,513
like a slutty cheerleader,
right?

219
00:09:04,515 --> 00:09:06,248
Is that mean?

220
00:09:21,764 --> 00:09:23,332
Temp! Temp!

221
00:09:38,982 --> 00:09:40,415
I don't even
wanna hear it, okay?

222
00:09:40,417 --> 00:09:42,417
Stop it right now.

223
00:09:42,419 --> 00:09:44,553
Ryan is a temporary worker,
makes no money.

224
00:09:44,555 --> 00:09:46,588
Wali is a whole doctor,

225
00:09:46,590 --> 00:09:48,824
so handsome, makes good money.

226
00:09:48,826 --> 00:09:51,893
- You think I wanna date a doctor?
- He's a perfect match.

227
00:09:54,230 --> 00:09:55,931
Hey, big tuna, you ready?

228
00:09:55,933 --> 00:09:58,734
Yep.

229
00:09:58,736 --> 00:10:01,670
One, two, three.

230
00:10:01,672 --> 00:10:02,938
Shot!

231
00:10:04,742 --> 00:10:07,242
Ohh! Holy mother of God.

232
00:10:07,244 --> 00:10:09,144
Ooh, that burns.

233
00:10:09,146 --> 00:10:11,013
Golly!

234
00:10:11,015 --> 00:10:12,948
Good.

235
00:10:12,950 --> 00:10:13,982
Whew.

236
00:10:34,171 --> 00:10:36,938
Wow, 30 years!

237
00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:39,574
And you two only met
once before the wedding night.

238
00:10:39,576 --> 00:10:40,742
Yes.

239
00:10:40,744 --> 00:10:42,177
Wow.

240
00:10:42,179 --> 00:10:44,212
How long have you been
married to the cheerleader?

241
00:10:44,214 --> 00:10:46,114
Oh...

242
00:10:46,116 --> 00:10:47,316
She's not a cheerleader.

243
00:10:47,318 --> 00:10:50,118
She thought this
was a costume party.

244
00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:53,455
Um, no, we're not married.

245
00:10:53,457 --> 00:10:55,424
Yet!

246
00:10:55,426 --> 00:10:57,259
She's very fair.

247
00:10:57,261 --> 00:11:00,095
She is very fair.
Very fair and very kind.

248
00:11:00,097 --> 00:11:01,830
So, um,

249
00:11:01,832 --> 00:11:04,666
tell me, is your marriage
the kind of thing

250
00:11:04,668 --> 00:11:06,068
where when you die,

251
00:11:06,070 --> 00:11:08,070
she has to throw herself
on fire?

252
00:11:08,072 --> 00:11:09,738
No?

253
00:11:09,740 --> 00:11:11,273
Okay.

254
00:11:11,275 --> 00:11:13,208
It's still very cool.

255
00:11:13,210 --> 00:11:14,843
Okay, thanks.

256
00:11:18,214 --> 00:11:21,283
One, two, three.

257
00:11:21,285 --> 00:11:22,617
Chug!

258
00:11:23,754 --> 00:11:24,786
Ooh!

259
00:11:33,230 --> 00:11:36,231
Are you okay?

260
00:11:36,233 --> 00:11:38,800
I'm gonna be.

261
00:11:42,171 --> 00:11:43,672
Hi.
I'm just gonna...

262
00:11:43,674 --> 00:11:45,240
Just a sec, just a sec.

263
00:11:45,242 --> 00:11:46,908
Um, everyone.

264
00:11:46,910 --> 00:11:49,544
I'm sorry, could I have
your attention, please?

265
00:11:49,546 --> 00:11:51,380
Thank you.

266
00:11:51,382 --> 00:11:52,881
Ha ha! Hi!

267
00:11:52,883 --> 00:11:55,384
Sorry, I just have
an announcement to make.

268
00:11:55,386 --> 00:11:57,452
Um...

269
00:11:57,454 --> 00:11:58,820
Okay.

270
00:11:58,822 --> 00:12:02,958
I have learned a lot
about Indian culture tonight.

271
00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:07,696
But I have learned
even more about love.

272
00:12:07,698 --> 00:12:09,965
And I know you're all thinking,

273
00:12:09,967 --> 00:12:13,502
"Who is this crazy gringo,
and what is he talkin' about?"

274
00:12:13,504 --> 00:12:15,670
Well, I'm not crazy.

275
00:12:15,672 --> 00:12:19,174
Maybe I'm crazy in love.

276
00:12:19,176 --> 00:12:20,609
So, without

277
00:12:20,611 --> 00:12:22,444
further adieu,

278
00:12:22,446 --> 00:12:23,545
Carol...

279
00:12:24,514 --> 00:12:26,782
Carol Stills...

280
00:12:26,784 --> 00:12:29,351
I would like you...

281
00:12:29,353 --> 00:12:31,887
to do me the honor

282
00:12:31,889 --> 00:12:34,990
of making me your husband.

283
00:12:37,327 --> 00:12:39,227
Oh, Michael.

284
00:12:39,229 --> 00:12:40,495
What do you say?

285
00:12:42,298 --> 00:12:44,499
Can we talk
about this in private?

286
00:12:44,501 --> 00:12:46,401
I didn't hear you.

287
00:12:46,403 --> 00:12:50,071
Can we talk about this
in private?

288
00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:52,140
Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

289
00:12:53,810 --> 00:12:54,876
Okay.

290
00:13:00,216 --> 00:13:02,017
No, I get it.

291
00:13:02,019 --> 00:13:03,618
I get it.
You're not ready.

292
00:13:03,620 --> 00:13:04,653
We'll wait.

293
00:13:04,655 --> 00:13:06,888
This is our ninth date, Michael.

294
00:13:06,890 --> 00:13:08,557
Well, yeah, but I...

295
00:13:08,559 --> 00:13:11,793
I feel like I've known you
many lifetimes.

296
00:13:11,795 --> 00:13:14,396
Maybe I'm Hindu after all.

297
00:13:14,398 --> 00:13:16,164
Okay, I'm not Hindu.

298
00:13:16,166 --> 00:13:18,066
But... Carol...

299
00:13:18,068 --> 00:13:19,835
Carol, I just feel like...

300
00:13:19,837 --> 00:13:22,370
I just like you so much.

301
00:13:22,372 --> 00:13:24,072
I'd better go.

302
00:13:24,074 --> 00:13:25,907
Okay? You can find
a way home, all right?

303
00:13:25,909 --> 00:13:26,942
Yes.

304
00:13:26,944 --> 00:13:28,243
Okay.
Okay.

305
00:13:30,613 --> 00:13:32,214
Okay.

306
00:13:32,216 --> 00:13:33,515
Good night.

307
00:13:33,517 --> 00:13:34,850
Hey, you know what?

308
00:13:34,852 --> 00:13:36,518
Why don't I come with you?

309
00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:39,855
'Cause I've got this book
called The Kama Sutra.

310
00:13:39,857 --> 00:13:40,989
Okay, good night, Michael.

311
00:13:40,991 --> 00:13:42,591
All right.

312
00:13:42,593 --> 00:13:43,692
Good night.

313
00:13:50,066 --> 00:13:51,867
Well, I was a temp,

314
00:13:51,869 --> 00:13:54,002
but I got promoted.

315
00:13:54,004 --> 00:13:57,839
So, um... the compensation
is a lot more competitive.

316
00:13:57,841 --> 00:14:00,308
So you're saving money now
to start a family and home?

317
00:14:00,310 --> 00:14:03,545
Oh, um, or travel.

318
00:14:03,547 --> 00:14:06,281
And, um, and buy an Xbox.

319
00:14:10,386 --> 00:14:12,854
Is there anything you wanted
to ask us tonight?

320
00:14:14,624 --> 00:14:15,857
Can you believe my boss

321
00:14:15,859 --> 00:14:17,092
proposed to his girlfriend
in public?

322
00:14:17,094 --> 00:14:18,727
That is so Michael.

323
00:14:18,729 --> 00:14:21,229
Is it?
He's really outgoing, huh?

324
00:14:21,231 --> 00:14:23,632
Yeah.

325
00:14:23,634 --> 00:14:25,600
Hey, would you excuse me
for a second?

326
00:14:25,602 --> 00:14:27,302
Okay.

327
00:14:31,173 --> 00:14:34,075
It's hot in there.

328
00:14:34,077 --> 00:14:36,645
How's the naan?
Dry.

329
00:14:36,647 --> 00:14:38,780
You looked like you
were having fun.

330
00:14:38,782 --> 00:14:40,882
I am.
You should come dance with us.

331
00:14:40,884 --> 00:14:43,585
I have to watch our shoes,
so they don't get stolen.

332
00:14:44,654 --> 00:14:47,556
- Who are you texting?
- No one.

333
00:15:02,739 --> 00:15:05,073
Andy, no a cappella.

334
00:15:18,021 --> 00:15:19,821
Wait, wait.

335
00:15:31,034 --> 00:15:32,067
It's not good.

336
00:15:32,069 --> 00:15:35,103
Tuna! Are you kidding me?

337
00:15:38,708 --> 00:15:40,475
Ohh!

338
00:15:40,477 --> 00:15:42,477
Oh, my God.

339
00:15:44,114 --> 00:15:45,547
Oh! Wow!

340
00:15:45,549 --> 00:15:46,815
- Here.
- That's so spicy.

341
00:15:46,817 --> 00:15:48,550
Yeah.

342
00:15:48,552 --> 00:15:50,685
Ohh.

343
00:15:53,489 --> 00:15:54,689
You waiting for a call?

344
00:15:54,691 --> 00:15:56,424
Uh, no.

345
00:16:01,197 --> 00:16:03,131
Wow.

346
00:16:05,669 --> 00:16:08,370
Pam...

347
00:16:08,372 --> 00:16:11,673
When Carol said no tonight,

348
00:16:11,675 --> 00:16:13,274
I think I finally realized

349
00:16:13,276 --> 00:16:15,143
how you must be feeling.

350
00:16:15,145 --> 00:16:19,247
We are both the victims
of broken engagements.

351
00:16:19,249 --> 00:16:22,317
Well, you were
never really engaged.

352
00:16:22,319 --> 00:16:25,920
I was in that marriage arena,

353
00:16:25,922 --> 00:16:28,356
though.

354
00:16:28,358 --> 00:16:30,058
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

355
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:35,397
Ohh... well.

356
00:16:35,399 --> 00:16:39,934
I kind of thought something
would happen tonight too.

357
00:16:42,138 --> 00:16:43,672
We're so alike.

358
00:16:45,374 --> 00:16:48,143
So alike.

359
00:16:58,187 --> 00:16:59,320
What are you doing?

360
00:16:59,322 --> 00:17:01,690
What are you doing?

361
00:17:01,692 --> 00:17:04,025
- I'm rejecting your kiss.
- What?

362
00:17:04,027 --> 00:17:05,527
I didn't...

363
00:17:09,933 --> 00:17:11,132
I wa...

364
00:17:21,377 --> 00:17:24,713
Can I have a ride home?

365
00:17:24,715 --> 00:17:27,348
If you sit in the back.

366
00:17:28,951 --> 00:17:31,086
Okay, guys.

367
00:17:36,525 --> 00:17:38,093
Hey, can I have a ride, man?

368
00:17:38,095 --> 00:17:41,029
I, uh, I have my bike.

369
00:17:41,031 --> 00:17:42,163
No way, dude.

370
00:17:42,165 --> 00:17:44,399
I am not driving home.

371
00:17:44,401 --> 00:17:47,569
I brought an inflatable bed

372
00:17:47,571 --> 00:17:49,704
for just such occasions.

373
00:17:49,706 --> 00:17:51,039
You're welcome to share it,
though.

374
00:17:51,041 --> 00:17:52,707
It's a roomy twin.

375
00:17:52,709 --> 00:17:55,310
Okay.

376
00:18:19,635 --> 00:18:21,803
Hey, dummy, get in the car.

377
00:18:21,805 --> 00:18:24,839
I'm a drunk driver.

378
00:18:24,841 --> 00:18:25,974
Yes, you are.

379
00:18:25,976 --> 00:18:28,042
Here, let me take that.

380
00:18:28,044 --> 00:18:30,211
Just, uh, get in the car.

381
00:18:30,213 --> 00:18:32,347
You can really hold
your liquor, though, really.

382
00:18:32,349 --> 00:18:33,381
Yeah, you can't.

383
00:18:34,417 --> 00:18:36,451
Okay.

384
00:18:36,453 --> 00:18:38,586
And I am just going to lie down
in the back,

385
00:18:38,588 --> 00:18:39,988
if that's all right.

386
00:18:39,990 --> 00:18:42,957
Sure.
Here's your... bag.

387
00:18:42,959 --> 00:18:45,126
Just don't puke on anything.

388
00:18:50,466 --> 00:18:51,499
You okay?

389
00:18:51,501 --> 00:18:53,234
- So good.
- Good.

390
00:18:59,241 --> 00:19:01,309
These are not my shoes.

391
00:19:09,985 --> 00:19:12,854
This is just like
that show Taxi Cab Confessions.

392
00:19:12,856 --> 00:19:14,989
If you say one more word,
I'm stopping the car.

393
00:19:14,991 --> 00:19:17,725
Sorry.

394
00:19:17,727 --> 00:19:19,861
This is going out
to Indians everywhere.

395
00:19:21,298 --> 00:19:22,831
It's a tribute
to one of the greats.

396
00:19:22,833 --> 00:19:26,367
Mr. Adam Sandler.

397
00:19:32,375 --> 00:19:34,108
Let me tell you something.

398
00:19:34,110 --> 00:19:35,743
Tonight has been...

399
00:20:22,926 --> 00:20:24,692
Happy Diwali!

400
00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:35,975
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