1
00:00:01,249 --> 00:00:03,915
Oh, damn.

2
00:00:03,917 --> 00:00:05,381
Lost another file.

3
00:00:05,383 --> 00:00:07,148
Gonna have to reboot...
again.

4
00:00:09,350 --> 00:00:11,715
Hey, Dwight,
do you want an Altoid?

5
00:00:11,717 --> 00:00:14,848
What do you think?

6
00:00:16,949 --> 00:00:19,948
In school, we learned
about this scientist

7
00:00:19,950 --> 00:00:22,781
who trained dogs to salivate
at the sound of a bell

8
00:00:22,783 --> 00:00:25,581
by feeding them
whenever a bell rang.

9
00:00:25,583 --> 00:00:27,148
So for the past couple weeks

10
00:00:27,150 --> 00:00:30,681
I've been conducting
a similar experiment.

11
00:00:33,050 --> 00:00:34,182
Dwight, want an Altoid?

12
00:00:34,184 --> 00:00:36,848
Okay.

13
00:00:37,817 --> 00:00:38,815
Altoid?

14
00:00:38,817 --> 00:00:41,581
Sure.

15
00:00:42,817 --> 00:00:43,816
Altoid?

16
00:00:45,883 --> 00:00:48,581
Yes.

17
00:00:53,249 --> 00:00:54,381
What are you doing?

18
00:00:56,215 --> 00:00:57,414
I...

19
00:00:57,416 --> 00:00:58,481
What?

20
00:00:58,483 --> 00:01:00,214
I don't know, I...

21
00:01:00,216 --> 00:01:04,948
Oh, my mouth tastes so bad
all of a sudden.

22
00:01:05,949 --> 00:01:08,381
Ugh.

23
00:01:10,180 --> 00:01:16,247
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

24
00:01:41,049 --> 00:01:42,548
Always the bridesmaids.

25
00:01:42,550 --> 00:01:44,314
Right, ladies?

26
00:01:44,316 --> 00:01:46,015
Okay, for this next one,
everybody hop out.

27
00:01:46,017 --> 00:01:48,281
Just Phyllis and Dad.

28
00:01:48,283 --> 00:01:50,748
Actually, let's bring Mom
back in.

29
00:01:50,750 --> 00:01:52,448
And the sisters.

30
00:01:52,450 --> 00:01:54,514
And you and you and you.

31
00:01:56,649 --> 00:01:57,815
Great.

32
00:01:57,817 --> 00:01:59,414
Phyllis is getting married.

33
00:01:59,416 --> 00:02:00,982
And I am in the wedding party.

34
00:02:00,984 --> 00:02:02,314
She has asked me

35
00:02:02,316 --> 00:02:03,881
to push her father's
wheelchair down the aisle.

36
00:02:03,883 --> 00:02:07,548
So basically,
I am co-giving away the bride.

37
00:02:07,550 --> 00:02:09,414
Since I pay her salary,

38
00:02:09,416 --> 00:02:12,082
it is like I am paying
for the wedding.

39
00:02:12,084 --> 00:02:13,314
Which I'm happy to do.

40
00:02:13,316 --> 00:02:14,848
It's a big day for Phyllis.

41
00:02:14,850 --> 00:02:17,281
But it's an even bigger day
for me.

42
00:02:17,283 --> 00:02:20,015
Employer of the bride.

43
00:02:20,017 --> 00:02:23,348
Yes, I put Michael
in my wedding.

44
00:02:23,350 --> 00:02:25,048
It was the only way
I could think

45
00:02:25,050 --> 00:02:28,481
to get six weeks off
for my honeymoon.

46
00:02:28,483 --> 00:02:31,381
No one else has ever gotten
six weeks before.

47
00:02:31,383 --> 00:02:35,147
Phyllis ended up using
the exact same invitations

48
00:02:35,149 --> 00:02:37,581
as Roy and me.

49
00:02:37,583 --> 00:02:39,915
So it was kind of like
being invited

50
00:02:39,917 --> 00:02:41,281
to my own wedding.

51
00:02:41,283 --> 00:02:43,214
And I was like, wait...

52
00:02:43,216 --> 00:02:45,248
I thought I called that off.

53
00:02:47,115 --> 00:02:48,548
So, what's in the box?

54
00:02:48,550 --> 00:02:50,781
A toaster. You?

55
00:02:50,783 --> 00:02:52,248
Uh, toaster.

56
00:02:52,250 --> 00:02:54,615
Unbelievable.

57
00:02:56,882 --> 00:02:58,681
Hello, Angela.

58
00:02:58,683 --> 00:03:02,848
You look as beautiful
as the Queen of England.

59
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,381
Thank you.

60
00:03:04,383 --> 00:03:07,982
Don't linger.
Break left.

61
00:03:07,984 --> 00:03:10,548
Left.

62
00:03:15,182 --> 00:03:17,214
The Schrutes
have their own traditions.

63
00:03:17,216 --> 00:03:20,448
We usually marry
standing in our own graves.

64
00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:22,715
Makes the funerals
very romantic.

65
00:03:22,717 --> 00:03:25,548
But the weddings
are a bleak affair.

66
00:03:25,550 --> 00:03:27,948
Those flowers are nice.

67
00:03:27,950 --> 00:03:31,181
Yeah. "P and R?"

68
00:03:31,183 --> 00:03:32,314
"Phyllis and Robert."

69
00:03:32,316 --> 00:03:34,548
Ah, of course.

70
00:03:34,550 --> 00:03:36,481
Also "Pam and Roy."

71
00:03:38,482 --> 00:03:41,514
There she is!

72
00:03:41,516 --> 00:03:43,314
I swear, Phyllis,
you are as beautiful

73
00:03:43,316 --> 00:03:44,748
as the first day
you started work

74
00:03:44,750 --> 00:03:45,815
at Dunder-Mifflin.

75
00:03:45,817 --> 00:03:48,281
Thanks, Michael.
That's sweet.

76
00:03:48,283 --> 00:03:50,181
Same as when you said it
outside.

77
00:03:50,183 --> 00:03:51,414
Mm, how you doing?

78
00:03:51,416 --> 00:03:53,448
You excited?

79
00:03:53,450 --> 00:03:54,448
Yes, very.

80
00:03:54,450 --> 00:03:55,715
Me too.

81
00:03:55,717 --> 00:03:59,615
If, um... if you need to vomit,
that is okay.

82
00:03:59,617 --> 00:04:01,081
I did.

83
00:04:01,083 --> 00:04:02,514
Do you want to talk
about tonight?

84
00:04:02,516 --> 00:04:03,648
No.

85
00:04:03,650 --> 00:04:05,248
Because I know
you're probably worried

86
00:04:05,250 --> 00:04:06,414
about pleasing Bob.

87
00:04:06,416 --> 00:04:08,581
A lot of pressure.

88
00:04:10,148 --> 00:04:12,147
Phyllis, did you break wind?

89
00:04:12,149 --> 00:04:15,047
It's okay if you did.

90
00:04:15,049 --> 00:04:17,081
It's a very natural reaction.

91
00:04:17,083 --> 00:04:18,848
It's your wedding
and you're nervous.

92
00:04:18,850 --> 00:04:21,648
Um, that wasn't me.

93
00:04:21,650 --> 00:04:23,881
Okay.

94
00:04:23,883 --> 00:04:26,047
Um...

95
00:04:26,049 --> 00:04:30,114
I'm sure that Bob...

96
00:04:30,116 --> 00:04:33,848
wow, that is...

97
00:04:33,850 --> 00:04:35,114
that is pungent.

98
00:04:35,116 --> 00:04:37,815
Um, I lost my train of thought.

99
00:04:37,817 --> 00:04:40,348
Uh...

100
00:04:40,350 --> 00:04:41,648
are you set on that hairstyle?

101
00:04:41,650 --> 00:04:43,748
I thought it was...

102
00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:44,815
Here, let me...

103
00:04:44,817 --> 00:04:45,981
Michael, no.

104
00:04:45,983 --> 00:04:47,781
Just cover up that bald patch.

105
00:04:47,783 --> 00:04:48,781
No, Michael.

106
00:04:48,783 --> 00:04:50,314
Please, I just need
some time alone.

107
00:04:50,316 --> 00:04:51,981
Okay, okay.

108
00:04:51,983 --> 00:04:53,248
You might be surprised to learn

109
00:04:53,250 --> 00:04:55,748
that I have only been
to one other wedding.

110
00:04:55,750 --> 00:04:57,848
It's actually a very cute story.

111
00:04:57,850 --> 00:04:59,314
My mom was marrying Jeff

112
00:04:59,316 --> 00:05:01,548
and they asked me
to be ring bearer.

113
00:05:01,550 --> 00:05:03,581
And I was understandably
emotional

114
00:05:03,583 --> 00:05:06,181
and somehow my pants became wet.

115
00:05:08,883 --> 00:05:11,314
I hate you!

116
00:05:11,316 --> 00:05:12,548
Long story short...

117
00:05:12,550 --> 00:05:15,648
Jeff's dog ended up
as ring bearer.

118
00:05:15,650 --> 00:05:19,748
And the irony is that
after the ceremony,

119
00:05:19,750 --> 00:05:24,281
that dog peed on everything.

120
00:05:24,283 --> 00:05:26,214
And nobody said boo.

121
00:05:26,216 --> 00:05:27,981
Why are all these people here?

122
00:05:27,983 --> 00:05:30,147
There's too many people
on this earth.

123
00:05:30,149 --> 00:05:32,214
We need a new plague.

124
00:05:32,216 --> 00:05:33,815
Who are all these people?

125
00:05:33,817 --> 00:05:35,181
You know what?

126
00:05:35,183 --> 00:05:37,348
I bet a lot of them are
wedding crashers. No way.

127
00:05:37,350 --> 00:05:39,548
Did you ever see that movie?
Of course I saw it.

128
00:05:39,550 --> 00:05:42,147
I saw Wedding Crashers
accidentally.

129
00:05:42,149 --> 00:05:43,414
I bought a ticket
for Grizzly Man

130
00:05:43,416 --> 00:05:44,914
and went into the wrong theater.

131
00:05:44,916 --> 00:05:46,947
After an hour, I figured
I was in the wrong theater.

132
00:05:46,949 --> 00:05:48,848
But I kept waiting.

133
00:05:48,850 --> 00:05:50,481
Because that's the thing
about bear attacks...

134
00:05:50,483 --> 00:05:52,381
They come when
you least expect it.

135
00:05:52,383 --> 00:05:53,615
You know, I just wish...

136
00:05:53,617 --> 00:05:55,248
I wish I had
the investigative powers

137
00:05:55,250 --> 00:05:57,481
to actually smoke
some of these guys out,

138
00:05:57,483 --> 00:06:00,481
you know?

139
00:06:00,483 --> 00:06:03,448
Once again, Jim...
I will take care of this.

140
00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:05,514
I will locate
the wedding crashers

141
00:06:05,516 --> 00:06:08,147
and report them to Phyllis.

142
00:06:08,149 --> 00:06:10,248
That way
I won't have to get her a gift.

143
00:06:10,250 --> 00:06:12,181
Hi, I'm Kevin.

144
00:06:14,515 --> 00:06:16,047
Where'd you find her?

145
00:06:16,049 --> 00:06:19,047
At the gym.

146
00:06:19,049 --> 00:06:20,715
Right.

147
00:06:20,717 --> 00:06:22,681
The gym!

148
00:06:24,882 --> 00:06:27,414
Could you scoot over?
You're on my dress.

149
00:06:27,416 --> 00:06:28,448
I thought you're not supposed

150
00:06:28,450 --> 00:06:29,548
to wear white to a wedding.

151
00:06:29,550 --> 00:06:32,047
I know, but there was
an emergency.

152
00:06:32,049 --> 00:06:35,047
I look really good in white.

153
00:06:35,049 --> 00:06:37,081
This strapping young lad
sitting here

154
00:06:37,083 --> 00:06:38,314
is Phyllis' father, Elbert.

155
00:06:38,316 --> 00:06:39,815
And he is quite the ladies' man,

156
00:06:39,817 --> 00:06:41,748
aren't you, Elbert, huh?

157
00:06:41,750 --> 00:06:43,248
Ah, ring bearer.

158
00:06:43,250 --> 00:06:45,847
I could've done better.

159
00:06:45,849 --> 00:06:47,481
I will do better.

160
00:06:47,483 --> 00:06:49,548
I am going to be better.

161
00:06:49,550 --> 00:06:51,114
Can't believe I'm actually
doing this.

162
00:06:52,783 --> 00:06:54,847
Are you ready for this, Elbert?

163
00:06:54,849 --> 00:06:56,748
I am.

164
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,481
Let's do it!

165
00:07:05,650 --> 00:07:08,147
That's my dress.

166
00:07:25,349 --> 00:07:28,381
No, no, it's okay.

167
00:07:28,383 --> 00:07:29,548
It's...

168
00:07:32,916 --> 00:07:34,648
It's a miracle.

169
00:07:47,482 --> 00:07:49,214
This is bull.

170
00:07:51,182 --> 00:07:52,481
Me walking Phyllis
down the aisle

171
00:07:52,483 --> 00:07:54,147
was supposed to be
the highlight of the wedding.

172
00:07:54,149 --> 00:07:57,615
And now...
the wedding has no highlight.

173
00:08:04,881 --> 00:08:07,481
I can't believe I pushed that...

174
00:08:07,483 --> 00:08:11,248
that guy's lazy ass around
all day

175
00:08:11,250 --> 00:08:13,981
until he was ready to stand up

176
00:08:13,983 --> 00:08:15,314
and steal the show.

177
00:08:15,316 --> 00:08:16,381
That's...

178
00:08:16,383 --> 00:08:19,348
well, I got news for you,
Elbert...

179
00:08:19,350 --> 00:08:21,181
if that's your real name...

180
00:08:21,183 --> 00:08:22,715
the show's not over.

181
00:08:43,649 --> 00:08:47,314
Phyllis and Bob,
Bob and Phyllis...

182
00:08:58,515 --> 00:09:00,880
And do you, Phyllis,
take Bob Vance

183
00:09:00,882 --> 00:09:02,348
of Vance Refrigeration

184
00:09:02,350 --> 00:09:03,947
to be your lawfully
wedded husband.

185
00:09:03,949 --> 00:09:05,381
I do.

186
00:09:05,383 --> 00:09:06,747
Ladies and gentlemen!

187
00:09:06,749 --> 00:09:08,081
May I present to you,

188
00:09:08,083 --> 00:09:10,081
for the first time as a couple,

189
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:12,548
Mr. And Mrs. Bob Vance!

190
00:09:18,815 --> 00:09:20,181
And do you, Bob, take Phyllis

191
00:09:20,183 --> 00:09:21,648
Oh, shh...

192
00:09:21,650 --> 00:09:23,681
to be your lawfully wedded wife?

193
00:09:23,683 --> 00:09:24,947
I do.

194
00:09:24,949 --> 00:09:26,114
You may now kiss the bride.

195
00:09:26,116 --> 00:09:27,147
Ladies and gentlemen!

196
00:09:27,149 --> 00:09:28,548
For the first time as a couple,

197
00:09:28,550 --> 00:09:29,847
Mr. And Mrs. Bob Vance!

198
00:09:31,948 --> 00:09:33,814
Yeah!

199
00:09:33,816 --> 00:09:37,081
That's what I'm talking about!

200
00:09:37,083 --> 00:09:38,847
Congratulations, Phyllis.

201
00:09:38,849 --> 00:09:39,847
Oh, thank you.

202
00:09:39,849 --> 00:09:41,780
You look lovely.

203
00:09:41,782 --> 00:09:43,914
Your dress is very white.

204
00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:45,747
So white my eyes are burning.

205
00:09:45,749 --> 00:09:46,914
Thanks, Angela.

206
00:09:46,916 --> 00:09:49,680
Congratulations, Bob.
You're a good man.

207
00:09:49,682 --> 00:09:50,981
But just know...

208
00:09:50,983 --> 00:09:53,248
if you ever lay a finger
on Phyllis,

209
00:09:53,250 --> 00:09:54,481
I will kill you.

210
00:09:54,483 --> 00:09:56,481
If yo ever lay a finger
on Phyllis,

211
00:09:56,483 --> 00:09:58,414
I'll kill you.

212
00:09:58,416 --> 00:09:59,814
Agreed.

213
00:09:59,816 --> 00:10:01,548
No fingers will be laid
on Phyllis!

214
00:10:02,882 --> 00:10:04,747
Oh, decide
to sit down again, huh?

215
00:10:04,749 --> 00:10:05,880
Great.

216
00:10:05,882 --> 00:10:07,981
Bet you can hear me too.

217
00:10:07,983 --> 00:10:09,014
Best of luck, Phyllis.

218
00:10:09,016 --> 00:10:10,214
Also, I'm gonna need to see

219
00:10:10,216 --> 00:10:11,414
a copy of the guest manifest,

220
00:10:11,416 --> 00:10:13,114
as well as photographs
of the caterers.

221
00:10:13,116 --> 00:10:14,448
I don't have that, Dwight.

222
00:10:14,450 --> 00:10:16,348
Damn it, Phyllis!

223
00:10:18,715 --> 00:10:20,314
Are you all right?

224
00:10:20,316 --> 00:10:22,581
This must be so awful for you.
What do you mean?

225
00:10:22,583 --> 00:10:24,981
Well, this was supposed
to be your wedding.

226
00:10:24,983 --> 00:10:28,814
Oh, um, no, that's, um...

227
00:10:28,816 --> 00:10:30,081
it's actually fine.

228
00:10:30,083 --> 00:10:31,248
There's no way it's fine.

229
00:10:31,250 --> 00:10:32,414
I'm sorry.

230
00:10:32,416 --> 00:10:33,981
If I was you, I would just,
like, freak out

231
00:10:33,983 --> 00:10:35,147
and get really drunk

232
00:10:35,149 --> 00:10:36,281
and then tell someone
I was pregnant.

233
00:10:36,283 --> 00:10:38,680
Okay, that's a lot
of good ideas.

234
00:10:38,682 --> 00:10:41,114
Thanks.

235
00:10:50,349 --> 00:10:51,747
Excuse me, sir.

236
00:10:51,749 --> 00:10:53,147
How do you know
the happy couple?

237
00:10:53,149 --> 00:10:54,448
Who?

238
00:10:54,450 --> 00:10:56,714
The bride and groom.
What are their names?

239
00:10:56,716 --> 00:10:59,281
Oh, I... I don't, uh...

240
00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:00,614
I'm not sure.

241
00:11:00,616 --> 00:11:01,780
Oh, I get it, I get it.

242
00:11:01,782 --> 00:11:03,181
Come on, freeloader,
let's move it.

243
00:11:03,183 --> 00:11:04,414
Oh.
Come on!

244
00:11:04,416 --> 00:11:05,780
Come on!
Okay, okay.

245
00:11:05,782 --> 00:11:06,814
Where are we going?

246
00:11:06,816 --> 00:11:07,880
Gotta find yourself

247
00:11:07,882 --> 00:11:08,947
another wedding to crash,
my friend.

248
00:11:08,949 --> 00:11:10,281
Oh!

249
00:11:10,283 --> 00:11:12,481
Phyllis, are you happy
with everything?

250
00:11:12,483 --> 00:11:14,780
What can I do
to make it more perfect-er?

251
00:11:14,782 --> 00:11:16,147
Oh, it's beautiful.

252
00:11:16,149 --> 00:11:17,780
Why don't you find your seat

253
00:11:17,782 --> 00:11:18,847
and enjoy the buffet?

254
00:11:18,849 --> 00:11:19,914
I'm already on it.

255
00:11:19,916 --> 00:11:21,114
Chicken, totally undercooked.

256
00:11:21,116 --> 00:11:22,114
I sent it back.

257
00:11:22,116 --> 00:11:23,448
It's fish.

258
00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:25,414
I will take care of that.

259
00:11:25,416 --> 00:11:27,580
I do... I know a fair amount

260
00:11:27,582 --> 00:11:29,680
about fine food and drink.

261
00:11:29,682 --> 00:11:30,814
Um...

262
00:11:32,016 --> 00:11:33,714
This is a white.

263
00:11:33,716 --> 00:11:35,714
No, this is not
our first wedding.

264
00:11:35,716 --> 00:11:38,147
This is the third wedding

265
00:11:38,149 --> 00:11:40,714
that Scrantonicity has played.

266
00:11:40,716 --> 00:11:43,114
We also played
our bassist's wedding

267
00:11:43,116 --> 00:11:47,081
and our guitarist's wedding.

268
00:11:47,083 --> 00:11:49,248
Attention, everyone.
Attention, please.

269
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:50,981
Uh, I'm supposed to ask

270
00:11:50,983 --> 00:11:54,214
if anyone has seen Uncle Al.

271
00:11:54,216 --> 00:11:58,214
He is old and has brown eyes
and dementia.

272
00:11:58,216 --> 00:12:00,514
His family is very concerned.

273
00:12:00,516 --> 00:12:02,514
It's a very serious

274
00:12:02,516 --> 00:12:06,314
situation.

275
00:12:17,115 --> 00:12:18,114
Hey.

276
00:12:18,116 --> 00:12:20,580
Hey.

277
00:12:20,582 --> 00:12:22,081
I know I don't normally notice

278
00:12:22,083 --> 00:12:24,814
these kind of things, but, uh...

279
00:12:24,816 --> 00:12:26,114
this wedding's really nice.

280
00:12:26,116 --> 00:12:28,181
I mean, the flowers and stuff.

281
00:12:28,183 --> 00:12:30,448
Phyllis has got
some great taste.

282
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:31,580
You're kidding me, right?

283
00:12:31,582 --> 00:12:32,647
I know you probably

284
00:12:32,649 --> 00:12:33,947
aren't gonna remember this,

285
00:12:33,949 --> 00:12:37,580
but, um, those color roses...

286
00:12:37,582 --> 00:12:40,647
I got you those color roses
for our prom.

287
00:12:40,649 --> 00:12:44,181
Roy, I picked those flowers.

288
00:12:44,183 --> 00:12:47,348
Phyllis just stole all
of my ideas for our wedding.

289
00:12:51,548 --> 00:12:53,214
I guess I wasn't really

290
00:12:53,216 --> 00:12:54,714
too involved in the planning.

291
00:12:54,716 --> 00:12:55,981
Yeah.

292
00:12:55,983 --> 00:12:57,014
Sorry about that.

293
00:12:57,016 --> 00:12:59,513
It's okay.

294
00:12:59,515 --> 00:13:01,348
Well, you think
it sucks for you.

295
00:13:01,350 --> 00:13:03,081
I'm the one who actually wanted

296
00:13:03,083 --> 00:13:05,814
to get married.

297
00:13:19,948 --> 00:13:23,114
Phyllis,
you're a wonderful woman.

298
00:13:23,116 --> 00:13:25,513
And you're a hell of a bowler!

299
00:13:27,282 --> 00:13:28,281
She is.

300
00:13:28,283 --> 00:13:29,680
Cheers!

301
00:13:29,682 --> 00:13:31,447
Cheers!

302
00:13:31,449 --> 00:13:32,614
Thank you, Randy!

303
00:13:32,616 --> 00:13:34,580
That was great.
Thank you.

304
00:13:34,582 --> 00:13:37,181
Thank you very much.

305
00:13:37,183 --> 00:13:38,414
Hi, I'm Michael Scott.

306
00:13:38,416 --> 00:13:40,847
And for the next 40 minutes,

307
00:13:40,849 --> 00:13:42,714
I am going to be your tour guide

308
00:13:42,716 --> 00:13:45,513
through the lives
of Phyllis Lapin and Bob Vance.

309
00:13:45,515 --> 00:13:46,914
One of the great,

310
00:13:46,916 --> 00:13:51,381
seemingly impossible
love stories of our time.

311
00:13:51,383 --> 00:13:53,847
My name is Michael Scott.

312
00:13:53,849 --> 00:13:57,847
Webster's Dictionary
defines "wedding"

313
00:13:57,849 --> 00:14:00,947
as the fusing of two metals

314
00:14:00,949 --> 00:14:03,214
with a hot torch.

315
00:14:03,216 --> 00:14:04,714
Well, you know something?

316
00:14:04,716 --> 00:14:10,047
I think you guys
are two metals...

317
00:14:10,049 --> 00:14:12,447
gold medals.

318
00:14:15,715 --> 00:14:17,314
For those of you
who don't know me,

319
00:14:17,316 --> 00:14:21,814
I'm Michael Scott,
Phyllis' boss.

320
00:14:21,816 --> 00:14:27,447
To quote from
The Princess Bride,

321
00:14:27,449 --> 00:14:29,248
"Marriage"

322
00:14:29,250 --> 00:14:30,747
The most important part
of a speech

323
00:14:30,749 --> 00:14:32,547
is the opening line.

324
00:14:32,549 --> 00:14:33,847
When time is not a factor,

325
00:14:33,849 --> 00:14:36,248
I like to try out
three or four different ones.

326
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:37,947
Phyllis and Bob...

327
00:14:37,949 --> 00:14:40,047
their celebrity couple name

328
00:14:40,049 --> 00:14:43,680
would be "Phlob."

329
00:14:45,249 --> 00:14:46,914
You look at her,

330
00:14:46,916 --> 00:14:49,380
and she's kind
of matronly today.

331
00:14:49,382 --> 00:14:50,714
But back in high school,

332
00:14:50,716 --> 00:14:55,614
I swear her nickname
was "Easy Rider."

333
00:14:55,616 --> 00:14:57,047
Now, as for Bob...

334
00:14:57,049 --> 00:14:58,281
Bob Vance...

335
00:14:58,283 --> 00:14:59,614
Okay, that's enough.
Thanks.

336
00:14:59,616 --> 00:15:00,847
Is a guy that...
Thanks, Michael.

337
00:15:00,849 --> 00:15:01,947
Give me the microphone.
He works...

338
00:15:01,949 --> 00:15:03,181
Okay, hold on.
Hold on, hold on.

339
00:15:03,183 --> 00:15:05,880
Look, um...

340
00:15:05,882 --> 00:15:07,147
I didn't say anything

341
00:15:07,149 --> 00:15:09,480
when Phyllis' dad upstaged me
at the ceremony.

342
00:15:09,482 --> 00:15:11,614
And I think
you owe me this, okay?

343
00:15:11,616 --> 00:15:12,847
Give me the microphone.

344
00:15:12,849 --> 00:15:14,181
No, I'm not going to.

345
00:15:14,183 --> 00:15:16,181
It's okay.
Okay, good.

346
00:15:16,183 --> 00:15:17,413
You're outta here!

347
00:15:17,415 --> 00:15:18,614
Yeah, I'm...
you're outta here.

348
00:15:18,616 --> 00:15:19,615
I hate you!

349
00:15:28,514 --> 00:15:29,547
Hey!

350
00:15:29,549 --> 00:15:31,347
Hey.

351
00:15:31,349 --> 00:15:32,780
When are we gonna get to see

352
00:15:32,782 --> 00:15:34,880
some of those famous
Beesly dance moves?

353
00:15:34,882 --> 00:15:36,580
Oh.

354
00:15:36,582 --> 00:15:37,714
I'm pacing myself.

355
00:15:37,716 --> 00:15:39,914
Come on, get out there!

356
00:15:39,916 --> 00:15:41,181
Give the people what they want.

357
00:15:41,183 --> 00:15:43,081
No, I'm such a dorky dancer.

358
00:15:43,083 --> 00:15:44,281
I know!

359
00:15:44,283 --> 00:15:47,981
And it's very cute.

360
00:15:47,983 --> 00:15:54,014
Hypothetically, if I thought
Pam was interested, then...

361
00:15:54,016 --> 00:15:57,814
No, it's totally hypothetical.

362
00:16:02,681 --> 00:16:03,747
Come... come on!

363
00:16:03,749 --> 00:16:05,047
I can't let you in, Michael.

364
00:16:05,049 --> 00:16:06,248
Dwight, just...

365
00:16:06,250 --> 00:16:07,880
No, it's Bob and Phyllis'
orders.

366
00:16:07,882 --> 00:16:09,413
Look, I just wanted to go in

367
00:16:09,415 --> 00:16:12,248
and quietly sit
and have a piece of cake.

368
00:16:12,250 --> 00:16:13,714
I'm not even gonna dance.

369
00:16:13,716 --> 00:16:14,880
One song maybe.

370
00:16:14,882 --> 00:16:16,181
You are a real-life
wedding crasher

371
00:16:16,183 --> 00:16:17,413
and I must bounce you.

372
00:16:17,415 --> 00:16:19,747
I'm sorry.
It gives me no pleasure.

373
00:16:19,749 --> 00:16:21,214
Okay.

374
00:17:02,515 --> 00:17:04,247
Hey.

375
00:17:04,249 --> 00:17:06,680
They're playing our song, huh?

376
00:17:06,682 --> 00:17:08,747
Yeah, that's weird.

377
00:17:08,749 --> 00:17:11,413
I thought they only played
The Police.

378
00:17:11,415 --> 00:17:12,680
I know.

379
00:17:12,682 --> 00:17:14,280
I, uh...

380
00:17:14,282 --> 00:17:15,780
I gave 'em 20 bucks.

381
00:17:18,581 --> 00:17:21,147
You wanna dance?

382
00:17:58,415 --> 00:18:00,880
Hey, you want
to get out of here?

383
00:18:16,815 --> 00:18:18,247
Here's a non-hypothetical.

384
00:18:18,249 --> 00:18:20,580
I'm really happy I'm with Karen.

385
00:18:20,582 --> 00:18:21,814
[playing The Police's

386
00:18:33,415 --> 00:18:37,380
One, two, three!

387
00:18:44,049 --> 00:18:46,680
Totally! Yeah!

388
00:18:46,682 --> 00:18:49,480
I just want Phyllis
to have a great day.

389
00:18:49,482 --> 00:18:53,814
Phyllis and you
will be great together.

390
00:18:53,816 --> 00:18:55,547
We are great together.

391
00:18:55,549 --> 00:18:56,947
We are a great team.

392
00:18:56,949 --> 00:19:00,247
The Celtics were a great team.

393
00:19:00,249 --> 00:19:03,847
Yes, yes... they were.

394
00:19:03,849 --> 00:19:08,247
Robert Parrish.

395
00:19:08,249 --> 00:19:09,313
I should talk to her.

396
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:13,081
I don't want this
to ruin her honeymoon.

397
00:19:13,083 --> 00:19:14,880
Well, nobody ever helped me.

398
00:19:14,882 --> 00:19:16,413
I had to do it myself.

399
00:19:16,415 --> 00:19:18,647
Even the doctor didn't know.

400
00:19:18,649 --> 00:19:20,081
Dude, keep it together.

401
00:19:20,083 --> 00:19:21,814
I listened to you
for a half an hour

402
00:19:21,816 --> 00:19:23,113
even though most of that stuff

403
00:19:23,115 --> 00:19:24,614
went right over my head.

404
00:19:24,616 --> 00:19:26,081
Oh.

405
00:19:36,615 --> 00:19:37,880
Phyllis...

406
00:19:37,882 --> 00:19:40,247
Phyllis, wait, please?

407
00:19:40,249 --> 00:19:41,280
I'm sorry.

408
00:19:41,282 --> 00:19:44,113
I just wanted to make this
a day to remember.

409
00:19:44,115 --> 00:19:46,113
You found Uncle Al!

410
00:19:46,115 --> 00:19:49,513
Yeah, yeah,
he's kind of a weirdo.

411
00:19:49,515 --> 00:19:51,014
Thank you, Michael.
You're...

412
00:19:51,016 --> 00:19:53,680
You're welcome.

413
00:19:53,682 --> 00:19:54,814
They say that your wedding day

414
00:19:54,816 --> 00:19:56,047
goes by in such a flash

415
00:19:56,049 --> 00:19:57,313
that you're lucky
if you even get

416
00:19:57,315 --> 00:19:58,513
a piece of your own cake.

417
00:19:58,515 --> 00:20:01,847
I say that's crazy.

418
00:20:01,849 --> 00:20:03,780
I say, "Let them eat cake."

419
00:20:03,782 --> 00:20:08,981
Margaret Thatcher said that
about marriage.

420
00:20:08,983 --> 00:20:12,714
Smart broad.

421
00:20:14,181 --> 00:20:15,347
Be careful with the...

422
00:20:15,349 --> 00:20:16,348
Oh no!

423
00:20:17,849 --> 00:20:20,180
Oh, wow!

424
00:20:20,182 --> 00:20:23,014
Phyllis, Phyllis!
Come on!

425
00:20:23,016 --> 00:20:25,180
You look like a clown.
Here.

426
00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:26,647
Get me, get me!

427
00:20:28,115 --> 00:20:29,347
Ah!

428
00:20:29,349 --> 00:20:31,413
Oh!

429
00:20:32,321 --> 00:20:42,311
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