1 00:00:03,538 --> 00:00:04,706 David. 2 00:00:04,708 --> 00:00:06,677 Oh, Michael. 3 00:00:06,679 --> 00:00:08,180 Are we all set? 4 00:00:08,182 --> 00:00:11,553 Isn't... our interview tomorrow? 5 00:00:13,658 --> 00:00:14,794 Yes. 6 00:00:14,796 --> 00:00:16,898 I just happened to be in the neighborhood, 7 00:00:16,900 --> 00:00:18,802 thought I'd drop in, say hello. 8 00:00:18,804 --> 00:00:20,304 Just happened to be in Midtown Manhattan? 9 00:00:20,306 --> 00:00:23,144 Thought I'd catch a show. 10 00:00:23,146 --> 00:00:24,747 Middle of a work day? 11 00:00:24,749 --> 00:00:26,517 No. 12 00:00:26,519 --> 00:00:28,587 You know what? 13 00:00:28,589 --> 00:00:30,993 Since I'm here, let me ask you a few questions 14 00:00:30,995 --> 00:00:33,030 about the job. 15 00:00:33,032 --> 00:00:34,332 Okay. 16 00:00:34,334 --> 00:00:36,036 Um, how many people are you interviewing? 17 00:00:36,038 --> 00:00:37,940 We're only interviewing branch managers 18 00:00:37,942 --> 00:00:39,709 and some lower level company people. 19 00:00:39,711 --> 00:00:41,848 Ah, well. Good. 20 00:00:41,850 --> 00:00:43,617 Out of curiosity, are you interviewing anyone 21 00:00:43,619 --> 00:00:45,454 who's been here longer than I have, 22 00:00:45,456 --> 00:00:47,292 or manages more people? 23 00:00:47,294 --> 00:00:49,229 - I don't think so. - Great. 24 00:00:49,231 --> 00:00:50,999 One more question. 25 00:00:51,001 --> 00:00:54,039 When you merged those branches, who did you put in charge? 26 00:00:54,041 --> 00:00:56,811 I believe we put you in charge. 27 00:00:56,813 --> 00:00:58,714 Ah, great. No further questions. 28 00:00:58,716 --> 00:01:00,218 - Okay, Michael. - Okay. 29 00:01:00,220 --> 00:01:01,988 I'm really looking forward to our interview. 30 00:01:01,990 --> 00:01:04,359 And I'm really looking forward to working with you. 31 00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:11,841 I have got it made in the shade. 32 00:01:11,843 --> 00:01:13,043 I know this company. 33 00:01:13,045 --> 00:01:15,581 The other branch managers are total morons. 34 00:01:15,583 --> 00:01:16,751 Hey, Pam, yeah. 35 00:01:16,753 --> 00:01:17,853 I forgot what day the interview was, 36 00:01:17,855 --> 00:01:19,122 and I drove to New York accidentally. 37 00:01:19,124 --> 00:01:21,059 Be, like, three hours late. 38 00:01:22,814 --> 00:01:28,894 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers. 39 00:01:42,871 --> 00:01:44,974 See, I have 600. 40 00:01:44,976 --> 00:01:46,643 Yeah, I don't have... 41 00:01:46,645 --> 00:01:48,247 Hey. 42 00:01:48,249 --> 00:01:49,382 Hey, Kev. 43 00:01:49,384 --> 00:01:52,055 What's different about you? 44 00:01:52,057 --> 00:01:53,290 You look worse. 45 00:01:53,292 --> 00:01:54,292 Thank you. 46 00:01:54,294 --> 00:01:55,294 He got a haircut. 47 00:01:55,296 --> 00:01:56,798 That's sexy. Hot. 48 00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:57,833 Oh. 49 00:01:57,835 --> 00:01:58,969 Turn around. 50 00:01:58,971 --> 00:01:59,971 - No. - C'mon. 51 00:01:59,973 --> 00:02:00,705 No, thanks. 52 00:02:00,707 --> 00:02:02,375 Do it! 53 00:02:02,377 --> 00:02:03,745 Lull-up do! 54 00:02:03,747 --> 00:02:06,149 What's up, Big Haircut? 55 00:02:06,151 --> 00:02:07,886 You are no longer Big Tuna. 56 00:02:07,888 --> 00:02:10,358 From henceforth, you shall be known as Big Haircut. 57 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:11,360 Andy, just... 58 00:02:11,362 --> 00:02:12,997 - Big Haircut? - Nothing. 59 00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:14,199 Sorry, can't hear you, Big Haircut. 60 00:02:14,201 --> 00:02:15,234 - Yup. - What. 61 00:02:15,236 --> 00:02:18,040 Karen suggested that I get a haircut 62 00:02:18,042 --> 00:02:20,344 for the interview tomorrow. 63 00:02:20,346 --> 00:02:22,348 So that I could look presentable. 64 00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:25,521 And not, as she so lovingly puts it, 65 00:02:25,523 --> 00:02:27,325 homeless. 66 00:02:27,327 --> 00:02:28,660 Hey. 67 00:02:28,662 --> 00:02:29,997 I think it looks great. 68 00:02:29,999 --> 00:02:32,101 Thanks, Pam. 69 00:02:35,275 --> 00:02:37,980 After I had my little outburst at the beach, 70 00:02:37,982 --> 00:02:39,984 Jim was really nice about it. 71 00:02:39,986 --> 00:02:41,019 He just basically said 72 00:02:41,021 --> 00:02:43,657 that he missed my friendship too, 73 00:02:43,659 --> 00:02:45,294 and I would always mean a lot to him. 74 00:02:45,296 --> 00:02:47,331 And I understand where he's coming from. 75 00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:50,604 For the record, I am not embarrassed at all. 76 00:02:50,606 --> 00:02:52,910 It needed to be said, and I said it. 77 00:02:52,912 --> 00:02:55,347 And it only took me three years 78 00:02:55,349 --> 00:02:57,518 to summon the courage, so... 79 00:02:57,520 --> 00:02:59,656 Thank you. 80 00:02:59,658 --> 00:03:01,393 Yeah? 81 00:03:01,395 --> 00:03:02,595 You wanted to see me? 82 00:03:02,597 --> 00:03:04,165 Yes. 83 00:03:04,167 --> 00:03:06,369 The time has come to name my own replacement. 84 00:03:06,371 --> 00:03:09,844 So please hand this letter of congratulations 85 00:03:09,846 --> 00:03:12,749 to Dwight K. Schrute. 86 00:03:14,487 --> 00:03:17,225 But that's my name. 87 00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:25,207 "Dwight, congratulations, a-wipe. 88 00:03:25,209 --> 00:03:27,980 Don't screw the pooch." 89 00:03:32,390 --> 00:03:34,292 Oh. 90 00:03:34,294 --> 00:03:35,461 Thank you. 91 00:03:35,463 --> 00:03:37,598 Okay. 92 00:03:40,239 --> 00:03:41,239 All right. 93 00:03:41,241 --> 00:03:42,241 Thank you, Michael. 94 00:03:42,243 --> 00:03:44,312 Okay. 95 00:03:47,619 --> 00:03:49,489 - Thank you so much. - Please. 96 00:03:50,493 --> 00:03:51,493 Stop crying. 97 00:03:51,495 --> 00:03:52,829 Thank you. 98 00:04:01,347 --> 00:04:02,348 Hey. 99 00:04:02,350 --> 00:04:04,085 Hey. 100 00:04:04,087 --> 00:04:07,425 Um, about the beach. 101 00:04:07,427 --> 00:04:09,930 It's okay, we all say things without thinking. 102 00:04:09,932 --> 00:04:11,533 Oh, no, it's not that. 103 00:04:11,535 --> 00:04:13,805 I've actually been thinking that for a long time. 104 00:04:13,807 --> 00:04:15,407 And I'm glad I said it. 105 00:04:15,409 --> 00:04:18,180 I just, I'm sorry if it made you feel weird. 106 00:04:18,182 --> 00:04:21,386 Oh. 107 00:04:21,388 --> 00:04:22,923 Okay. 108 00:04:22,925 --> 00:04:27,198 Pam is kind of a bitch. 109 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:28,634 Hey. 110 00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:30,337 What if we leave tonight? 111 00:04:30,339 --> 00:04:32,642 Grab a bite, get a hotel room. 112 00:04:32,644 --> 00:04:34,479 Enjoy the city a little bit. 113 00:04:34,481 --> 00:04:37,018 Uh... 114 00:04:37,020 --> 00:04:39,722 I just have so much paperwork to do. 115 00:04:42,965 --> 00:04:44,432 Wow, done. 116 00:04:44,434 --> 00:04:47,071 Okay, let's do it. 117 00:04:47,073 --> 00:04:48,775 So I was wondering if Karen and I could get off 118 00:04:48,777 --> 00:04:50,144 a few hours early, 'cause we wanted 119 00:04:50,146 --> 00:04:51,146 to spend the night in the city. 120 00:04:51,148 --> 00:04:53,283 Why, so you can do it? 121 00:04:53,285 --> 00:04:54,319 Whoops. 122 00:04:54,321 --> 00:04:55,421 No, um... 123 00:04:55,423 --> 00:04:56,757 Well, I was thinking that, uh, 124 00:04:56,759 --> 00:04:58,694 actually, we could all leave tomorrow. 125 00:04:58,696 --> 00:05:00,364 And do a convoy. 126 00:05:00,366 --> 00:05:01,700 - You know? - Oh. 127 00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:03,838 Convoys are really fun. 128 00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:05,341 Pull up next to each other. 129 00:05:05,343 --> 00:05:06,944 Give each other the finger. 130 00:05:06,946 --> 00:05:08,046 Mm. 131 00:05:08,048 --> 00:05:09,649 Moon each other. 132 00:05:09,651 --> 00:05:11,019 Uh, we're gonna go tonight. 133 00:05:11,021 --> 00:05:12,388 But we're gonna see you there tomorrow morning, right? 134 00:05:12,390 --> 00:05:13,457 All right. All right. 135 00:05:13,459 --> 00:05:14,860 Your loss. Wait. 136 00:05:14,862 --> 00:05:16,797 Um, how would you moon us if you were driving? 137 00:05:16,799 --> 00:05:17,933 Cruise control. 138 00:05:17,935 --> 00:05:19,335 Oh. 139 00:05:19,337 --> 00:05:22,308 So Jim, who do you think is hotter, 140 00:05:22,310 --> 00:05:24,112 Pam or Karen? 141 00:05:24,114 --> 00:05:26,015 Yeah, I'm not gonna talk about this now. 142 00:05:26,017 --> 00:05:27,118 Pam is taller. 143 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:28,153 You sure? 144 00:05:28,155 --> 00:05:30,691 Yes. 145 00:05:30,693 --> 00:05:32,829 She has bigger breasts too. 146 00:05:32,831 --> 00:05:33,965 Wow. 147 00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:35,601 But I think Karen has a prettier face. 148 00:05:35,603 --> 00:05:37,271 Mm-hmm. 149 00:05:37,273 --> 00:05:39,108 Mm-hmm. 150 00:05:39,110 --> 00:05:41,045 What else? 151 00:05:41,047 --> 00:05:44,787 Well, I mean, Pam's face is really pretty too. 152 00:05:44,789 --> 00:05:46,222 It's a very tough call. 153 00:05:46,224 --> 00:05:47,658 Mm. 154 00:05:47,660 --> 00:05:48,727 Really tough call. 155 00:05:48,730 --> 00:05:49,897 Yeah. 156 00:05:49,899 --> 00:05:51,666 You know what, why don't you take 157 00:05:51,668 --> 00:05:53,403 the rest of the day, figure it out, 158 00:05:53,405 --> 00:05:55,975 and then come back and tell me what you got? 159 00:05:55,977 --> 00:05:58,447 Will do. 160 00:05:58,449 --> 00:06:00,217 All right. 161 00:06:00,219 --> 00:06:02,923 Yes. 162 00:06:02,925 --> 00:06:05,060 Hey, Pam. 163 00:06:05,062 --> 00:06:06,997 I've been meaning to say something to you. 164 00:06:06,999 --> 00:06:08,901 I really miss our friendship. 165 00:06:10,105 --> 00:06:11,974 Ha ha, that's very funny. 166 00:06:11,976 --> 00:06:14,011 I've never heard you talk that much. 167 00:06:14,013 --> 00:06:15,481 I thought it was Kelly. 168 00:06:15,483 --> 00:06:17,384 Are you kidding? I would never have done that. 169 00:06:17,386 --> 00:06:18,420 It was patheticville. 170 00:06:18,422 --> 00:06:19,422 No offense, Pam. 171 00:06:19,424 --> 00:06:20,424 You know what? 172 00:06:20,426 --> 00:06:21,861 Don't even worry about it. 173 00:06:21,863 --> 00:06:22,896 Everyone was so drunk, 174 00:06:22,898 --> 00:06:24,699 I bet no one even remembers what you said. 175 00:06:24,701 --> 00:06:25,701 I remember. 176 00:06:25,703 --> 00:06:27,238 I blogged the whole thing. 177 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:33,683 www.creedthoughts.gov. Www\creedthoughts. 178 00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:35,053 Check it out. 179 00:06:35,055 --> 00:06:38,093 Last year, Creed asked me how to set up a blog. 180 00:06:38,095 --> 00:06:42,535 Wanting to protect the world from being exposed 181 00:06:42,537 --> 00:06:45,842 to Creed's brain, I opened up a Word document 182 00:06:45,844 --> 00:06:48,915 on his computer, and put an address at the top. 183 00:06:48,917 --> 00:06:51,219 I've read some of it. 184 00:06:51,221 --> 00:06:52,621 Even for the internet, 185 00:06:52,623 --> 00:06:56,262 it's... pretty shocking. 186 00:06:56,264 --> 00:06:57,298 There they are. 187 00:06:57,300 --> 00:06:58,466 The accounting department. 188 00:06:58,468 --> 00:07:00,470 I shall miss your humility 189 00:07:00,472 --> 00:07:02,441 and your promptly-printed checks. 190 00:07:02,443 --> 00:07:03,778 Do you think it's gonna be weird? 191 00:07:03,780 --> 00:07:06,015 Working with Jan in New York? 192 00:07:06,017 --> 00:07:07,117 No, not at all. 193 00:07:07,119 --> 00:07:08,988 I haven't talked to Jan since we broke up. 194 00:07:08,990 --> 00:07:11,693 And I think if she had something to say, 195 00:07:11,695 --> 00:07:12,862 she would've called me. 196 00:07:12,864 --> 00:07:14,265 Maybe you should talk to her... 197 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,267 No, no, no, no. 198 00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:16,269 You know what? 199 00:07:16,271 --> 00:07:17,538 It's a done deal. 200 00:07:17,540 --> 00:07:19,342 I basically have the job already. 201 00:07:19,344 --> 00:07:21,446 There's nothing she can do to stop it now. 202 00:07:21,448 --> 00:07:22,681 I already sold my condo. 203 00:07:22,683 --> 00:07:23,784 Michael. 204 00:07:23,786 --> 00:07:25,053 What? Why? 205 00:07:25,055 --> 00:07:26,723 I'm sorry, that just doesn't make sense. 206 00:07:26,725 --> 00:07:27,725 Yes. W-why? 207 00:07:27,727 --> 00:07:29,028 Who gave you that advice? 208 00:07:29,030 --> 00:07:31,165 Yeah, Michael, you should never sell your condo... 209 00:07:31,167 --> 00:07:32,434 I have to buy another place. 210 00:07:32,436 --> 00:07:33,637 But you said you were in debt. 211 00:07:33,639 --> 00:07:35,173 You're not sure that you have the job. 212 00:07:35,175 --> 00:07:37,244 I sold it on eBay. 213 00:07:37,246 --> 00:07:40,017 The buyer was very motivated, as was I. 214 00:07:40,019 --> 00:07:42,721 It went for 80% of what I paid. 215 00:07:42,723 --> 00:07:45,027 Sold in record time. 216 00:07:45,029 --> 00:07:46,462 How would you like to spend the night 217 00:07:46,464 --> 00:07:49,870 with the regional manager of Dunder-Mifflin Scranton? 218 00:07:49,872 --> 00:07:52,341 No, Dwight, I don't care if that's how 219 00:07:52,343 --> 00:07:54,445 they consolidated power in ancient Rome. 220 00:07:54,447 --> 00:07:56,315 No, no. Not... not Michael. 221 00:07:56,317 --> 00:07:58,119 Me. 222 00:07:58,121 --> 00:08:01,059 I'm taking his job. 223 00:08:01,061 --> 00:08:03,263 Not now. 224 00:08:08,708 --> 00:08:12,281 Good-bye, Kelly Kapur. 225 00:08:13,184 --> 00:08:15,755 Jim, Jim, Jim. 226 00:08:17,559 --> 00:08:21,900 Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim. 227 00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:24,338 Oh. Hey, Dwight. 228 00:08:24,340 --> 00:08:26,209 I'm going to be your new boss. 229 00:08:27,313 --> 00:08:29,883 It's my greatest dream come true. 230 00:08:29,885 --> 00:08:31,619 Welcome to the Hotel Hell. 231 00:08:31,621 --> 00:08:35,026 Check-in time is now, check-out time is never. 232 00:08:35,028 --> 00:08:36,295 Does my room have cable? 233 00:08:36,297 --> 00:08:37,297 No. 234 00:08:37,299 --> 00:08:39,568 And the sheets are made of fire. 235 00:08:39,570 --> 00:08:41,038 Can I change rooms? 236 00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:42,641 Sorry, we're all booked up. 237 00:08:42,643 --> 00:08:44,813 Hell convention in town. 238 00:08:44,815 --> 00:08:46,349 Can I have a late checkout? 239 00:08:46,351 --> 00:08:48,052 We'll have to talk to the manager. 240 00:08:48,054 --> 00:08:49,622 You're not the manager? 241 00:08:49,624 --> 00:08:51,225 Even in your own fantasy? 242 00:08:51,227 --> 00:08:53,998 I'm the owner. 243 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,534 The co-owner. 244 00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:57,104 With Satan. 245 00:08:57,106 --> 00:08:59,876 Okay, just so I understand it. 246 00:08:59,878 --> 00:09:03,583 In your wildest fantasy, you are in hell. 247 00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:06,890 And you are co-running a bed and breakfast 248 00:09:06,892 --> 00:09:08,126 with the devil. 249 00:09:08,128 --> 00:09:10,664 Yeah, but I haven't told you my salary yet. 250 00:09:10,666 --> 00:09:11,666 Go. 251 00:09:11,668 --> 00:09:15,307 $80,000 a year. 252 00:09:15,309 --> 00:09:16,877 Once I am officially regional manager, 253 00:09:16,879 --> 00:09:20,217 my first order of business will be to demote Jim Halpert. 254 00:09:20,219 --> 00:09:22,822 So I will need a new number two. 255 00:09:22,824 --> 00:09:25,460 My ideal choice? 256 00:09:25,462 --> 00:09:27,364 Jack Bauer. 257 00:09:27,366 --> 00:09:29,501 But he is unavailable. 258 00:09:29,503 --> 00:09:31,205 Fictional. 259 00:09:31,207 --> 00:09:33,109 And overqualified. 260 00:09:33,111 --> 00:09:36,783 I will see you... 261 00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:39,756 at the interview. 262 00:09:39,758 --> 00:09:43,062 Yes, you will. 263 00:09:43,064 --> 00:09:44,900 Who is D. Abramson? 264 00:09:44,902 --> 00:09:46,435 Um, he's from that company in Pittsburgh. 265 00:09:46,437 --> 00:09:47,437 Michael. 266 00:09:47,439 --> 00:09:49,809 Why? 267 00:09:49,811 --> 00:09:51,813 Are you here? 268 00:09:51,815 --> 00:09:55,922 Uh, how are you? 269 00:09:55,924 --> 00:09:56,924 I'm good. 270 00:09:56,926 --> 00:09:58,059 How are you, Janet? 271 00:09:58,061 --> 00:09:59,061 It's good to see you. 272 00:09:59,063 --> 00:10:00,630 I'm great. 273 00:10:04,406 --> 00:10:08,179 Uh, can we... can we talk privately 274 00:10:08,181 --> 00:10:09,581 for a minute? 275 00:10:09,583 --> 00:10:11,485 Why privately? 276 00:10:11,487 --> 00:10:15,928 Uh, I just... I, uh, I don't, uh. 277 00:10:15,930 --> 00:10:18,199 I-I don't like the way that we left things. 278 00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:20,337 Okay, sure. Fine. 279 00:10:20,339 --> 00:10:21,773 Um, why don't you wait in my office? 280 00:10:21,775 --> 00:10:23,609 I have some important business matters 281 00:10:23,611 --> 00:10:26,315 to take care of. 282 00:10:26,317 --> 00:10:27,584 Okay. 283 00:10:27,586 --> 00:10:29,555 Okay. 284 00:10:31,226 --> 00:10:36,035 Pam, DEFCON 10: Houston, we have a problem. 285 00:10:36,037 --> 00:10:38,072 What do you want me to do? 286 00:10:38,074 --> 00:10:40,745 Uh, I may need some immediate assistance. 287 00:10:40,747 --> 00:10:43,984 If you would slowly and quietly gather the ladies 288 00:10:43,986 --> 00:10:45,086 in the conference room. 289 00:10:45,088 --> 00:10:46,322 Phyllis, Angela, Karen. 290 00:10:46,324 --> 00:10:47,657 What about Meredith? 291 00:10:47,659 --> 00:10:49,128 No. 292 00:10:49,130 --> 00:10:51,165 She's an alternate. 293 00:10:51,167 --> 00:10:52,769 So how you been? 294 00:10:52,771 --> 00:10:54,004 - I've been good. - Good. 295 00:10:54,006 --> 00:10:55,707 Good. Yeah. 296 00:10:55,709 --> 00:10:56,777 Oh. 297 00:10:56,779 --> 00:10:58,112 Sorry to drop by unexpectedly. 298 00:10:58,114 --> 00:11:01,485 I, uh, tried calling, but I kept getting voice-mail. 299 00:11:01,487 --> 00:11:03,022 Weird, yeah. 300 00:11:03,024 --> 00:11:04,926 I didn't get both of your messages. 301 00:11:04,928 --> 00:11:06,930 Ah. 302 00:11:08,935 --> 00:11:11,773 So, uh, Michael needs us in the conference room. 303 00:11:11,775 --> 00:11:12,775 Oh, is it Jan again? 304 00:11:12,777 --> 00:11:15,480 Hey, uh, before I leave tonight, 305 00:11:15,482 --> 00:11:17,752 would you mind making a half a dozen copies 306 00:11:17,754 --> 00:11:18,921 of Jim's and my sales reports 307 00:11:18,923 --> 00:11:19,923 for our interviews tomorrow? 308 00:11:19,925 --> 00:11:20,925 Uh, sure. 309 00:11:20,927 --> 00:11:22,294 Thanks. 310 00:11:22,296 --> 00:11:24,498 I really hope you get the job. 311 00:11:24,500 --> 00:11:28,941 Thanks. 312 00:11:28,943 --> 00:11:31,679 After you ended everything with us, 313 00:11:31,681 --> 00:11:33,182 I went on a vacation. 314 00:11:33,184 --> 00:11:34,819 Mm. 315 00:11:34,821 --> 00:11:36,021 To kind of clear my mind. 316 00:11:36,023 --> 00:11:37,491 Sounds good, sounds fun. 317 00:11:37,493 --> 00:11:40,230 It was, yeah, it was good. 318 00:11:40,232 --> 00:11:42,300 I think I should just... 319 00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:44,037 get right to the point, you know? 320 00:11:44,039 --> 00:11:48,179 Um, I-I feel good about myself 321 00:11:48,181 --> 00:11:51,753 for the first time in a really long time. 322 00:11:51,755 --> 00:11:54,024 And I've made some big changes 323 00:11:54,026 --> 00:11:56,830 in my life, and... 324 00:11:56,832 --> 00:11:59,268 I miss you. 325 00:12:01,339 --> 00:12:03,376 I want us to get back together. 326 00:12:07,451 --> 00:12:09,488 Would you excuse me for a second? 327 00:12:09,490 --> 00:12:12,060 Oh, okay. 328 00:12:16,003 --> 00:12:17,137 She wants to get back together. 329 00:12:17,139 --> 00:12:18,306 What are you gonna do? 330 00:12:18,308 --> 00:12:20,009 I don't know. That's why you're here. 331 00:12:20,011 --> 00:12:21,212 Help me, please. 332 00:12:21,214 --> 00:12:22,247 Would you wanna get back together with her? 333 00:12:22,249 --> 00:12:23,850 No! No. 334 00:12:23,852 --> 00:12:25,086 What do I do? 335 00:12:25,088 --> 00:12:26,990 Just don't get back together with her. 336 00:12:26,992 --> 00:12:28,125 What if she makes me? 337 00:12:28,127 --> 00:12:29,896 How can she make you get back together with her? 338 00:12:29,898 --> 00:12:32,567 She made me do a lot of things I didn't wanna do. 339 00:12:32,569 --> 00:12:34,872 This was a terrible relationship. 340 00:12:34,874 --> 00:12:36,575 You were not happy when you were with her. 341 00:12:36,577 --> 00:12:37,577 I wasn't. 342 00:12:37,579 --> 00:12:39,281 You're so much happier now. 343 00:12:39,283 --> 00:12:41,552 Just go in there and be strong. 344 00:12:41,554 --> 00:12:43,089 You're right. 345 00:12:43,091 --> 00:12:44,725 You are absolutely right, I need to go in there 346 00:12:44,727 --> 00:12:46,730 and tell her that we can't be together. 347 00:12:46,732 --> 00:12:48,266 Right. 348 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,902 - Wow. - You can do it. 349 00:12:49,904 --> 00:12:52,240 I'm in a very good place right now. 350 00:12:52,242 --> 00:12:53,242 Thank you. 351 00:12:53,244 --> 00:12:54,946 Go. Go, go. 352 00:12:56,785 --> 00:12:57,885 Okay. 353 00:12:58,889 --> 00:13:01,760 Jan... 354 00:13:01,762 --> 00:13:04,131 We need to talk. 355 00:13:09,509 --> 00:13:11,645 Jan is in a different place right now. 356 00:13:11,647 --> 00:13:13,750 And it is a sign of maturity 357 00:13:13,752 --> 00:13:16,555 to give people second chances. 358 00:13:16,557 --> 00:13:18,459 So I'm going to hear her out. 359 00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:26,642 Oh, my God. 360 00:13:29,383 --> 00:13:31,251 Yeah, bigger actually. 361 00:13:31,253 --> 00:13:32,253 That's crazy. 362 00:13:32,255 --> 00:13:33,389 Mm-hmm. 363 00:13:36,997 --> 00:13:39,701 Oh, my God, can you believe that? 364 00:13:39,703 --> 00:13:40,904 Unbelievable. 365 00:13:40,906 --> 00:13:42,240 Wow. 366 00:13:42,242 --> 00:13:43,476 She could put the cup right there. 367 00:13:43,478 --> 00:13:44,478 I know. 368 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:45,981 No, it's fine. 369 00:13:45,983 --> 00:13:48,018 I'm sure it must've been weird for Jim 370 00:13:48,020 --> 00:13:50,824 when Roy and I were joking around. 371 00:13:50,826 --> 00:13:52,694 That one time. 372 00:13:54,499 --> 00:13:56,034 I would never do that. 373 00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:58,172 Waste of money. 374 00:13:58,174 --> 00:14:01,044 In my experience, guys are way more attracted 375 00:14:01,046 --> 00:14:03,549 to the back of you than to the front. 376 00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:05,286 I love fake boobs. 377 00:14:05,288 --> 00:14:08,359 Oftentimes you find them on strippers. 378 00:14:08,361 --> 00:14:09,361 I find it offensive. 379 00:14:09,363 --> 00:14:11,064 Au naturel, baby. 380 00:14:11,066 --> 00:14:12,367 That's how I like 'em. 381 00:14:12,369 --> 00:14:15,406 Swing low, sweet chariots. 382 00:14:15,408 --> 00:14:16,976 So... 383 00:14:16,978 --> 00:14:18,780 There are a lot of things I would like to do differently. 384 00:14:18,782 --> 00:14:19,782 Yeah. 385 00:14:19,784 --> 00:14:21,786 I feel like when we first got together, 386 00:14:21,788 --> 00:14:23,757 that I had a problem with my priorities. 387 00:14:23,759 --> 00:14:25,259 First got priorities. 388 00:14:25,261 --> 00:14:27,998 And if we could talk about a way to approach 389 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,401 a possible reconciliation. 390 00:14:29,403 --> 00:14:30,904 Let's get back together. 391 00:14:33,411 --> 00:14:34,644 No. No, no, no. 392 00:14:34,646 --> 00:14:35,713 I'll tell you this, 393 00:14:35,715 --> 00:14:37,650 it is not because of the boob job. 394 00:14:37,652 --> 00:14:39,789 Excuse me, boob enhancement. 395 00:14:39,791 --> 00:14:40,991 That would be shallow. 396 00:14:40,993 --> 00:14:43,028 And this is the opposite of shallow. 397 00:14:43,030 --> 00:14:46,568 This is emotionally magnificent. 398 00:14:46,570 --> 00:14:48,005 Okay, everyone, listen up! 399 00:14:48,007 --> 00:14:51,144 Time to begin the interview process! 400 00:14:52,983 --> 00:14:54,886 Andrew Bernard. 401 00:14:54,888 --> 00:14:56,789 Saving the best for first. 402 00:14:56,791 --> 00:14:58,559 All right, you guys, see you later. 403 00:14:58,561 --> 00:14:59,762 Wish us luck. 404 00:14:59,764 --> 00:15:01,198 No! Hey, hey, hey, do not wish them luck. 405 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:02,367 Do not wish them luck. 406 00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:04,170 All luck must be wished unto Michael. 407 00:15:04,172 --> 00:15:06,008 Good luck, you guys. 408 00:15:06,010 --> 00:15:07,477 What did I say? 409 00:15:07,479 --> 00:15:08,479 Good luck. 410 00:15:08,481 --> 00:15:10,216 Thanks. 411 00:15:13,390 --> 00:15:15,026 I'm happy for him. 412 00:15:15,028 --> 00:15:16,695 I hope he gets the job. 413 00:15:16,697 --> 00:15:18,833 I really just want him to be happy. 414 00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:20,503 And I know that sounds cliché. 415 00:15:20,505 --> 00:15:25,346 And I know saying it sounds cliché sounds cliché. 416 00:15:25,348 --> 00:15:27,818 Maybe I'm being cliché, I don't care. 417 00:15:27,820 --> 00:15:31,592 'Cause I am what I am. 418 00:15:31,594 --> 00:15:33,930 That's Popeye. 419 00:15:33,932 --> 00:15:35,700 I am going to begin this process 420 00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:37,537 with a simple test of intelligence 421 00:15:37,539 --> 00:15:40,343 and mental dexterity. 422 00:15:40,345 --> 00:15:41,645 What is the best color? 423 00:15:41,647 --> 00:15:45,453 White, because it contains all other colors. 424 00:15:45,455 --> 00:15:47,557 Wrong, black. It is the most dominant. 425 00:15:47,559 --> 00:15:48,860 How do you make a table? 426 00:15:48,862 --> 00:15:52,233 You make a chair, but you don't sit on it. 427 00:15:52,235 --> 00:15:53,535 What is the capital of Maine? 428 00:15:53,537 --> 00:15:56,241 The capital of Maine is Montpelier, Vermont. 429 00:15:56,243 --> 00:15:58,379 Which is near Ithaca, New York, 430 00:15:58,381 --> 00:15:59,782 where I went to Cornell. 431 00:15:59,784 --> 00:16:02,755 Okay, also, moratorium on Cornell talk. 432 00:16:02,757 --> 00:16:03,890 Don't wanna hear about it. 433 00:16:03,892 --> 00:16:05,192 Forget your personal history, 434 00:16:05,194 --> 00:16:06,796 and learn the history of this company. 435 00:16:06,798 --> 00:16:07,798 Should not be a problem. 436 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:08,933 I minored in history 437 00:16:08,935 --> 00:16:10,871 in the ivy league school which I attended. 438 00:16:10,873 --> 00:16:13,142 You're not off to a very good start, Bernard. 439 00:16:13,144 --> 00:16:15,046 I agree. 440 00:16:15,048 --> 00:16:17,417 But in another way, 441 00:16:17,419 --> 00:16:20,957 I am off to a very good start, wouldn't you say? 442 00:16:20,959 --> 00:16:23,495 I am a great interviewee. 443 00:16:23,497 --> 00:16:26,501 Why? Because I have something no one else has. 444 00:16:26,503 --> 00:16:28,672 My brain. 445 00:16:28,674 --> 00:16:33,282 Which I use to my advantage, when advantageous. 446 00:16:36,690 --> 00:16:38,525 Time! Nope, you failed. 447 00:16:38,527 --> 00:16:39,829 Damn it! 448 00:16:39,831 --> 00:16:43,937 This interview is over, I'll let you know. 449 00:16:43,939 --> 00:16:46,508 Hey, thank you so much for driving me down 450 00:16:46,510 --> 00:16:47,510 for my interview. 451 00:16:47,512 --> 00:16:48,780 Totally. No problem. 452 00:16:48,782 --> 00:16:50,884 What are you interviewing for, by the way? 453 00:16:50,886 --> 00:16:52,353 My assistant, or... 454 00:16:52,355 --> 00:16:53,722 Oh, you know, I'm gonna have 455 00:16:53,724 --> 00:16:56,361 a "Congratulations, Karen" party, um, 456 00:16:56,363 --> 00:16:57,798 tomorrow night at my friend's house. 457 00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:59,869 - Oh, wow, that sounds fun. - Yeah. 458 00:16:59,871 --> 00:17:01,906 Is your friend named Karen too? 459 00:17:01,908 --> 00:17:03,308 What did she accomplish? 460 00:17:03,310 --> 00:17:05,513 No, I'm sorry. I should've been clearer. 461 00:17:05,515 --> 00:17:06,749 Uh-huh. It's for me. 462 00:17:06,751 --> 00:17:10,589 - Oh. - 'Cause I'm gonna get the job. 463 00:17:10,591 --> 00:17:12,360 How remarkable. 464 00:17:12,362 --> 00:17:14,164 Thanks. 465 00:17:16,403 --> 00:17:18,672 Wait, let me just check one more thing. 466 00:17:18,674 --> 00:17:21,913 Okay. 467 00:17:21,915 --> 00:17:23,783 Very good. 468 00:17:28,459 --> 00:17:31,565 All right, well, I have to get back. 469 00:17:31,567 --> 00:17:33,635 But I will see you in New York tomorrow, right? 470 00:17:33,637 --> 00:17:34,637 Yes, indeed. 471 00:17:34,639 --> 00:17:35,807 Good luck with your interview. 472 00:17:35,809 --> 00:17:38,312 Thank you. 473 00:17:38,314 --> 00:17:39,782 Bye. 474 00:17:45,795 --> 00:17:47,396 So I... 475 00:17:47,398 --> 00:17:49,033 guess we're getting back together. 476 00:17:49,035 --> 00:17:50,269 What happened? 477 00:17:50,271 --> 00:17:52,006 Your advice was good, 478 00:17:52,008 --> 00:17:54,410 but Jan's was bigger. 479 00:17:54,412 --> 00:17:56,081 Here's the sitch. 480 00:17:56,083 --> 00:17:59,520 Two weeks ago, I was in the worst relationship 481 00:17:59,522 --> 00:18:00,522 of my life. 482 00:18:00,524 --> 00:18:02,260 She treated me poorly. 483 00:18:02,262 --> 00:18:03,595 We didn't connect. 484 00:18:03,597 --> 00:18:05,099 I was miserable. 485 00:18:05,101 --> 00:18:09,474 Now I'm in the best relationship of my life 486 00:18:09,476 --> 00:18:12,413 with the same woman. 487 00:18:12,415 --> 00:18:15,519 Love is a mystery. 488 00:18:15,521 --> 00:18:18,392 So we have all night, where do you wanna go first? 489 00:18:18,394 --> 00:18:19,661 I don't know. 490 00:18:19,663 --> 00:18:20,764 How 'bout the U.N.? 491 00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:22,968 How often do you come here? 492 00:18:22,970 --> 00:18:24,872 Mm, every time my sixth grade class 493 00:18:24,874 --> 00:18:25,874 goes on a field trip. 494 00:18:25,876 --> 00:18:26,876 Well, I think you're 495 00:18:26,878 --> 00:18:29,547 really going to enjoy this, Adult Jim. 496 00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:38,198 Hey, everybody. 497 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,935 The next time you see me, I will be working 498 00:18:39,937 --> 00:18:41,806 for corporate. 499 00:18:41,808 --> 00:18:43,608 Starting tomorrow, Dwight Schrute 500 00:18:43,610 --> 00:18:47,116 will be running the branch. 501 00:18:47,118 --> 00:18:49,822 So without further ado... 502 00:18:51,995 --> 00:18:53,997 I would like to start saying my good-byes. 503 00:19:01,513 --> 00:19:03,015 Okay. 504 00:19:07,793 --> 00:19:10,162 Good night. 505 00:19:10,164 --> 00:19:11,766 And good luck. 506 00:19:24,058 --> 00:19:26,194 Who's ready to work? 507 00:19:28,967 --> 00:19:31,104 Yeah, we went to The Spotted Pig 508 00:19:31,106 --> 00:19:32,573 for dinner, it's in the Village. 509 00:19:32,575 --> 00:19:34,010 Uh, Karen knew it. 510 00:19:34,012 --> 00:19:36,648 And then we second-acted Spamalot. 511 00:19:36,650 --> 00:19:38,385 That's when you sneak in at intermission 512 00:19:38,387 --> 00:19:39,888 with all the smokers. 513 00:19:39,890 --> 00:19:43,028 And then we went to a bar that used to be a church. 514 00:19:43,030 --> 00:19:46,101 Oh, and at this one bar, I swear I saw Lorne Michaels. 515 00:19:46,103 --> 00:19:48,438 That wasn't him. 516 00:19:49,944 --> 00:19:50,944 So what's gonna happen with us 517 00:19:50,946 --> 00:19:52,513 when I get this job? 518 00:19:52,515 --> 00:19:54,183 Oh, do you mean when I get the job? 519 00:19:54,185 --> 00:19:57,623 Well, if you get the job... 520 00:19:57,625 --> 00:20:00,329 then I'd move here with you. 521 00:20:00,331 --> 00:20:02,901 Would you move with me? 522 00:20:02,903 --> 00:20:04,504 I'm not stupid, okay? 523 00:20:04,506 --> 00:20:06,541 I was at the beach. 524 00:20:06,543 --> 00:20:08,880 We don't have a future in Scranton. 525 00:20:08,882 --> 00:20:12,019 There's one too many people there. 526 00:20:12,021 --> 00:20:14,323 You mean Kevin? 527 00:20:14,325 --> 00:20:15,559 Exactly. 528 00:20:17,565 --> 00:20:20,469 No, but you get it, right? 529 00:20:20,471 --> 00:20:22,439 We can't stay there. 530 00:20:22,441 --> 00:20:24,577 Yeah. 531 00:20:24,579 --> 00:20:26,882 I do. 532 00:20:26,884 --> 00:20:28,552 Come on. 533 00:20:41,079 --> 00:20:43,448 How are you guys doing? Need anything? 534 00:20:43,450 --> 00:20:45,419 Uh, no, we're good. Thanks. 535 00:20:45,421 --> 00:20:47,022 I have been here a bunch of times, 536 00:20:47,024 --> 00:20:48,525 so I know where everything is. 537 00:20:48,527 --> 00:20:49,895 Know everybody's names. 538 00:20:49,897 --> 00:20:51,819 If you need to know somebody's name, just ask me. 539 00:20:54,272 --> 00:20:56,507 Who's that? 540 00:20:56,509 --> 00:20:58,345 That is Beardy. 541 00:20:58,347 --> 00:20:59,380 Beardy? 542 00:20:59,382 --> 00:21:00,415 Mm-hmm. 543 00:21:00,417 --> 00:21:01,684 Why don't I introduce myself. 544 00:21:01,686 --> 00:21:02,887 No, no, no... just... that's not his real name. 545 00:21:02,889 --> 00:21:05,559 That's just what I call him, so. 546 00:21:05,561 --> 00:21:07,329 I am by far the most qualified person 547 00:21:07,331 --> 00:21:08,565 they're interviewing. 548 00:21:08,567 --> 00:21:10,168 Jim and Karen are here. 549 00:21:10,170 --> 00:21:11,537 Which is cute. 550 00:21:11,539 --> 00:21:14,845 They're like kid actors tagging along with Daddy 551 00:21:14,847 --> 00:21:16,347 on the big audition. 552 00:21:16,349 --> 00:21:18,084 Hoping to be discovered. 553 00:21:18,086 --> 00:21:21,792 Except Daddy is the best actor around. 554 00:21:21,794 --> 00:21:25,365 Daddy is Meryl Streep. 555 00:21:25,367 --> 00:21:27,503 Michael is gone. 556 00:21:27,505 --> 00:21:32,246 Hail to the Chief! 557 00:21:32,248 --> 00:21:33,515 My first order of business, 558 00:21:33,517 --> 00:21:36,688 make Andrew Bernard my number two. 559 00:21:36,690 --> 00:21:39,493 My first order of business, accept. 560 00:21:39,495 --> 00:21:41,264 As if you had a choice. 561 00:21:41,266 --> 00:21:42,901 Duh. 562 00:21:42,903 --> 00:21:45,038 Opportunity of a lifetime. 563 00:21:46,476 --> 00:21:49,647 Three months ago, I was nowhere. 564 00:21:49,649 --> 00:21:53,154 I was just a Cornell grad in anger management. 565 00:21:53,156 --> 00:21:54,724 Look where I am now. 566 00:21:54,726 --> 00:21:57,629 Not bad. 567 00:22:01,171 --> 00:22:02,974 Hey, Hunter! 568 00:22:02,976 --> 00:22:04,577 What's up, my brother? 569 00:22:04,579 --> 00:22:07,449 This is Hunter, secretary extraordinaire. 570 00:22:07,451 --> 00:22:09,487 Uh, administrative assistant. 571 00:22:09,489 --> 00:22:10,857 Is Jan in yet? 572 00:22:10,859 --> 00:22:12,025 I think she's coming in later. 573 00:22:12,027 --> 00:22:13,027 Could you give her a message for me 574 00:22:13,029 --> 00:22:14,029 when she gets in? 575 00:22:14,031 --> 00:22:15,867 Sure. 576 00:22:15,869 --> 00:22:20,075 Just say "I want to squeeze them." 577 00:22:20,077 --> 00:22:22,312 It's code, she'll know what it means. 578 00:22:22,314 --> 00:22:24,417 Okay. 579 00:22:24,419 --> 00:22:25,419 Oh, and Hunter? 580 00:22:25,421 --> 00:22:27,589 Could you tell her "Brr," also? 581 00:22:31,231 --> 00:22:33,034 You showed great leadership potential 582 00:22:33,036 --> 00:22:34,069 at the coal walk. 583 00:22:34,071 --> 00:22:35,505 Even if you did follow it 584 00:22:35,507 --> 00:22:37,676 with that embarrassing personal confession. 585 00:22:37,678 --> 00:22:39,547 Thank you. 586 00:22:39,549 --> 00:22:41,484 I had to make Andy my number two. 587 00:22:41,486 --> 00:22:43,154 It's political, complicated. 588 00:22:43,156 --> 00:22:44,290 You wouldn't understand. 589 00:22:44,292 --> 00:22:48,364 I want you to be assistant regional manager. 590 00:22:49,468 --> 00:22:50,569 Really? 591 00:22:50,571 --> 00:22:52,372 Well, in a sense. 592 00:22:52,374 --> 00:22:54,143 Although publicly, I am going to retain 593 00:22:54,145 --> 00:22:57,082 the assistant regional manager position. 594 00:22:57,084 --> 00:22:58,451 You will be your own assistant. 595 00:22:58,453 --> 00:23:00,489 Correct, I need someone I can trust. 596 00:23:00,491 --> 00:23:02,593 But I would also like the title 597 00:23:02,595 --> 00:23:04,998 to be secretly applied to you. 598 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:09,139 Just stripped of its pomp and frills. 599 00:23:09,141 --> 00:23:11,410 Okay. 600 00:23:11,412 --> 00:23:15,585 So you would be the regional manager 601 00:23:15,587 --> 00:23:18,525 and the assistant regional manager. 602 00:23:18,527 --> 00:23:20,595 Andy is your number two. 603 00:23:20,597 --> 00:23:24,303 I would be the secret assistant regional manager. 604 00:23:24,305 --> 00:23:25,472 Mm, let's call it secret assistant 605 00:23:25,474 --> 00:23:27,109 to the regional manager. 606 00:23:27,111 --> 00:23:28,344 Mm-hmm. 607 00:23:28,346 --> 00:23:29,814 Do you accept? 608 00:23:29,816 --> 00:23:32,586 Absolutely, I do. 609 00:23:32,588 --> 00:23:33,956 I learned from Jim, 610 00:23:33,958 --> 00:23:36,460 if Dwight ever asks you if you accept something secret, 611 00:23:36,462 --> 00:23:40,535 you reply, "Absolutely, I do." 612 00:23:44,745 --> 00:23:46,113 Hello, hello! 613 00:23:46,115 --> 00:23:47,951 Michael, good to see you. 614 00:23:47,953 --> 00:23:49,320 - Good to see you. - Have a seat. 615 00:23:49,322 --> 00:23:51,090 Here are the post-merger performance stats 616 00:23:51,092 --> 00:23:52,693 - that you asked for. - Great. 617 00:23:52,695 --> 00:23:54,363 I've been meaning to thank you, by the way. 618 00:23:54,365 --> 00:23:56,667 You didn't lose a single customer in the merger, 619 00:23:56,669 --> 00:23:58,237 and you still managed to trim the budget. 620 00:23:58,239 --> 00:24:01,143 That is nice work. 621 00:24:01,145 --> 00:24:04,583 So let me ask you a question right off the bat. 622 00:24:04,585 --> 00:24:06,053 What do you think are your greatest strengths 623 00:24:06,055 --> 00:24:07,389 as a manager? 624 00:24:07,391 --> 00:24:10,195 Why don't I tell you what my greatest weaknesses are? 625 00:24:10,197 --> 00:24:12,099 I work too hard. 626 00:24:12,101 --> 00:24:13,534 I care too much. 627 00:24:13,536 --> 00:24:17,910 And sometimes I can be too invested in my job. 628 00:24:17,912 --> 00:24:20,048 Okay. 629 00:24:20,050 --> 00:24:21,785 And your strengths? 630 00:24:21,787 --> 00:24:25,225 Well, my weaknesses are actually strengths. 631 00:24:25,227 --> 00:24:28,564 Oh! Yes. Very good. 632 00:24:28,566 --> 00:24:29,566 Thank you. 633 00:24:29,568 --> 00:24:30,568 Very good. 634 00:24:30,570 --> 00:24:31,872 Dwight is our new boss. 635 00:24:31,874 --> 00:24:33,976 Oh, Michael's not going anywhere. 636 00:24:33,978 --> 00:24:35,712 Then who do you think will get the job? 637 00:24:35,714 --> 00:24:37,149 Karen. 638 00:24:37,151 --> 00:24:39,253 She looks corporate. 639 00:24:39,255 --> 00:24:41,691 Those little pantsuits. 640 00:24:41,693 --> 00:24:43,127 I think it's gonna be Michael. 641 00:24:43,129 --> 00:24:44,998 Do you really think he's qualified for that job? 642 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:47,737 No, but he wasn't qualified for the job he has now, 643 00:24:47,739 --> 00:24:48,972 and he got that one. 644 00:24:48,974 --> 00:24:49,974 Yeah. 645 00:24:49,976 --> 00:24:51,077 Listen up! 646 00:24:51,079 --> 00:24:53,448 Come to the center of the room, please. 647 00:24:53,450 --> 00:24:56,287 This... 648 00:24:56,289 --> 00:24:58,859 is a Schrute buck. 649 00:24:58,861 --> 00:25:00,361 When you have done something good, 650 00:25:00,363 --> 00:25:03,869 you will receive one Schrute buck. 651 00:25:03,871 --> 00:25:05,672 1,000 Schrute bucks equals 652 00:25:05,674 --> 00:25:08,211 an extra five minutes for lunch. 653 00:25:08,213 --> 00:25:11,350 What is the cash value of a Schrute buck? 654 00:25:11,352 --> 00:25:12,987 Excellent question, Pam. 655 00:25:12,989 --> 00:25:14,824 1/100th of a cent. 656 00:25:14,826 --> 00:25:18,664 So 10,000 of your dollars is worth one real dollar? 657 00:25:18,666 --> 00:25:20,335 Just zip your lid. 658 00:25:20,337 --> 00:25:22,372 Another announcement. 659 00:25:22,374 --> 00:25:24,343 Michael wasted an enormous amount 660 00:25:24,345 --> 00:25:25,645 of the group's time and patience 661 00:25:25,647 --> 00:25:28,117 with non-work-related ethnic celebrations 662 00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:31,090 and parades of soft-minded do-good-edness. 663 00:25:31,092 --> 00:25:32,626 No longer. 664 00:25:32,628 --> 00:25:34,864 No more meetings. 665 00:25:34,866 --> 00:25:36,066 Amen. 666 00:25:36,068 --> 00:25:39,006 Instead, today I will begin my first lecture 667 00:25:39,008 --> 00:25:41,377 in a long series of lectures designed to increase 668 00:25:41,379 --> 00:25:42,914 your knowledge on the world of paper. 669 00:25:42,916 --> 00:25:43,916 Do we have to? 670 00:25:43,918 --> 00:25:45,618 Yes. Michael is gone. 671 00:25:45,620 --> 00:25:48,558 There's a new sheriff here in these offices. 672 00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:50,361 And his name is me. 673 00:25:50,363 --> 00:25:52,733 Conference room, ten seconds. 674 00:25:52,735 --> 00:25:53,769 All of you! 675 00:25:53,771 --> 00:25:55,840 I literally cannot wait until I see 676 00:25:55,842 --> 00:25:57,977 what Dwight has planned. 677 00:25:57,979 --> 00:26:00,381 And I wish Jim were here. 678 00:26:01,151 --> 00:26:03,454 What do you think we could be doing better? 679 00:26:03,456 --> 00:26:06,026 I've never been a big fan of the name Dunder-Mifflin. 680 00:26:06,028 --> 00:26:07,462 I was thinking we could name the company 681 00:26:07,464 --> 00:26:10,435 something like Paper Great, 682 00:26:10,437 --> 00:26:12,339 where great paper is our passion. 683 00:26:12,341 --> 00:26:14,911 We're grrreat! 684 00:26:14,913 --> 00:26:17,817 I don't know, could be good. 685 00:26:17,819 --> 00:26:19,286 Or, uh, Super Duper Paper. 686 00:26:19,288 --> 00:26:20,890 It's super duper. 687 00:26:20,892 --> 00:26:22,760 I don't know, something like that. 688 00:26:22,762 --> 00:26:24,563 - Okay. - Okay. 689 00:26:24,565 --> 00:26:25,598 Thanks for coming in, Michael. 690 00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:26,735 Thank you. 691 00:26:26,737 --> 00:26:29,006 It is always a treat when our paths cross. 692 00:26:29,008 --> 00:26:31,745 It is always a treat when our paths cross. 693 00:26:31,747 --> 00:26:33,648 So... oh, before I forget. 694 00:26:33,650 --> 00:26:36,888 I wanted to let you know, if you hadn't already heard, 695 00:26:36,890 --> 00:26:39,092 uh, Jan and I are back together. 696 00:26:39,094 --> 00:26:40,628 So I may need to fill out 697 00:26:40,630 --> 00:26:42,699 one of those love documents again. 698 00:26:42,701 --> 00:26:43,769 You're back together. 699 00:26:43,771 --> 00:26:46,106 Yes, and I am very excited about the prospect 700 00:26:46,108 --> 00:26:47,175 of working under her. 701 00:26:47,177 --> 00:26:48,912 Or on top of her. 702 00:26:48,914 --> 00:26:51,717 Mm, that's not sexual, just we're all professionals. 703 00:26:51,719 --> 00:26:53,421 Okay, well. 704 00:26:53,423 --> 00:26:55,491 Uh, I thought it was clear in the description 705 00:26:55,493 --> 00:26:57,529 of the position. 706 00:26:57,531 --> 00:27:00,335 The job you're applying for is Jan's job. 707 00:27:00,337 --> 00:27:01,637 I don't understand. 708 00:27:01,639 --> 00:27:03,474 So we're gonna tag team it? 709 00:27:03,476 --> 00:27:06,013 No, we're letting Jan go. 710 00:27:08,485 --> 00:27:12,827 Listen up. Let's start from the ground up. 711 00:27:12,829 --> 00:27:14,964 Where does paper come from? 712 00:27:16,368 --> 00:27:17,635 Trees. 713 00:27:17,637 --> 00:27:20,976 And where do trees grow? 714 00:27:20,978 --> 00:27:22,412 - Forest. - Soil. 715 00:27:22,414 --> 00:27:23,982 Right. 716 00:27:23,984 --> 00:27:26,687 We have in front of you here, 717 00:27:26,689 --> 00:27:30,661 seven different types of Pennsylvania topsoil. 718 00:27:30,663 --> 00:27:36,206 Now, what would you say is the most important element 719 00:27:36,208 --> 00:27:39,679 in the production of aboveground leafy growth? 720 00:27:40,884 --> 00:27:43,187 Probably phosphorus, right? 721 00:27:43,189 --> 00:27:44,189 Wrong. 722 00:27:44,191 --> 00:27:45,458 It's nitrogen. 723 00:27:45,460 --> 00:27:48,664 Absorb this information. 724 00:27:49,935 --> 00:27:51,170 Good. 725 00:27:51,172 --> 00:27:53,240 Now, let us discuss precipitation. 726 00:27:53,242 --> 00:27:54,242 Stanley. 727 00:27:54,244 --> 00:27:55,846 When rainfall occurs, 728 00:27:55,848 --> 00:27:59,086 does it usually fall in a liquid, solid, 729 00:27:59,088 --> 00:28:00,455 or gaseous state? 730 00:28:00,457 --> 00:28:02,492 Liquid. 731 00:28:02,494 --> 00:28:03,795 Very good. 732 00:28:03,797 --> 00:28:06,500 You have earned one Schrute buck. 733 00:28:06,502 --> 00:28:08,370 I don't want it. 734 00:28:08,372 --> 00:28:10,809 Then you have been deducted 50 Schrute bucks. 735 00:28:10,811 --> 00:28:11,811 Make it 100. 736 00:28:11,813 --> 00:28:14,082 Well... 737 00:28:14,084 --> 00:28:16,120 Don't you wanna earn Schrute bucks? 738 00:28:16,122 --> 00:28:19,159 No... In fact, I'll give you a billion 739 00:28:19,161 --> 00:28:21,697 Stanley nickels if you never talk to me again. 740 00:28:21,699 --> 00:28:22,699 What's the ratio of Stanley nickels 741 00:28:22,701 --> 00:28:24,002 to Schrute bucks? 742 00:28:24,004 --> 00:28:26,473 The same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns. 743 00:28:26,475 --> 00:28:27,709 - Okay. - That's it! 744 00:28:27,711 --> 00:28:29,112 Class is cancelled, everybody out. 745 00:28:29,114 --> 00:28:30,281 What? No, wait! What are you doing? 746 00:28:30,283 --> 00:28:31,483 - I'm punishing them. - No, no, no! 747 00:28:31,485 --> 00:28:32,519 Class is not cancelled! 748 00:28:34,191 --> 00:28:35,158 Hey! Come on! 749 00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:38,765 Let's listen to Dwight's presentation. 750 00:28:40,469 --> 00:28:41,703 What... what are you winking for? 751 00:28:41,705 --> 00:28:42,740 Zip your lid! 752 00:28:42,742 --> 00:28:45,578 So that's my basic five year plan. 753 00:28:45,580 --> 00:28:47,582 And then after that, who knows? 754 00:28:47,584 --> 00:28:49,152 Okay. 755 00:28:49,154 --> 00:28:51,523 And now, this may seem like an odd question. 756 00:28:51,525 --> 00:28:53,360 Yeah? 757 00:28:53,362 --> 00:28:55,531 What do you think about Michael Scott? 758 00:28:55,533 --> 00:28:57,135 He's a very nice man. 759 00:28:57,137 --> 00:28:58,437 Mm-hmm. 760 00:28:58,439 --> 00:29:01,109 And he's very well-suited for the job he has now. 761 00:29:01,111 --> 00:29:02,545 This is off the record. 762 00:29:02,547 --> 00:29:04,549 He would be a disaster. 763 00:29:09,928 --> 00:29:10,929 Hey, you! 764 00:29:10,931 --> 00:29:13,100 Hey. 765 00:29:13,102 --> 00:29:14,904 How was your interview? 766 00:29:14,906 --> 00:29:16,240 - Pretty good. - Yeah? 767 00:29:16,242 --> 00:29:17,475 Could've gone better, I guess. 768 00:29:17,477 --> 00:29:20,749 Oh, well, I will put in a good word for you. 769 00:29:20,751 --> 00:29:23,687 Cool. Maybe you should do it sooner rather than later. 770 00:29:23,689 --> 00:29:24,991 What? 771 00:29:24,993 --> 00:29:26,026 Uh, let's just run away together. 772 00:29:26,028 --> 00:29:27,195 Let's run away to Jamaica, 773 00:29:27,197 --> 00:29:28,330 live in a bungalow. 774 00:29:28,332 --> 00:29:29,499 You have some savings, right? 775 00:29:29,501 --> 00:29:30,501 You can pay off my debts. 776 00:29:30,503 --> 00:29:32,372 It would be fine. 777 00:29:32,374 --> 00:29:33,507 We'd have fun. 778 00:29:33,509 --> 00:29:35,912 What's... what's the matter? 779 00:29:35,914 --> 00:29:37,883 W-what happened in there? 780 00:29:37,885 --> 00:29:41,189 I can't tell you. 781 00:29:41,191 --> 00:29:42,760 Tell me what? 782 00:29:49,473 --> 00:29:51,143 You son of a bitch. 783 00:29:51,145 --> 00:29:53,113 Jan, this isn't the time... 784 00:29:53,115 --> 00:29:54,316 You're firing me? 785 00:29:54,318 --> 00:29:56,119 Where the hell do you get off? 786 00:29:57,490 --> 00:29:59,292 Frankly, it's overdue. 787 00:29:59,294 --> 00:30:01,563 Your behavior in the last two years 788 00:30:01,565 --> 00:30:02,866 has been completely erratic. 789 00:30:02,868 --> 00:30:04,536 Erratic? 790 00:30:04,538 --> 00:30:06,239 Recently, you don't even show an interest in your work! 791 00:30:06,241 --> 00:30:08,210 You smoke constantly in your office. 792 00:30:08,212 --> 00:30:10,348 You spend most of the day online shopping. 793 00:30:10,350 --> 00:30:12,853 You disappear for hours at a time, sometimes days, 794 00:30:12,855 --> 00:30:15,391 always saying you're visiting your sister in Scottsdale. 795 00:30:15,393 --> 00:30:17,362 You go to Scranton far more often than you need to. 796 00:30:17,364 --> 00:30:18,497 Is it because of these? 797 00:30:18,499 --> 00:30:20,201 Whoa, hey, whoa, Jan... 798 00:30:20,203 --> 00:30:21,503 I wanna know... I wanna know! 799 00:30:21,505 --> 00:30:24,542 Because if it is, then... then I will see you in court. 800 00:30:24,544 --> 00:30:26,380 - It's not. It's not. - No. 801 00:30:26,382 --> 00:30:27,950 'Cause he likes them. Okay? 802 00:30:27,952 --> 00:30:30,789 He likes them, and that is... that is all I care about. 803 00:30:30,791 --> 00:30:32,225 The time has come for you to end 804 00:30:32,227 --> 00:30:34,662 your professional relationship with this company. 805 00:30:34,664 --> 00:30:36,533 You are clearly unstable. 806 00:30:36,535 --> 00:30:37,635 Hey, you're unstable! 807 00:30:37,637 --> 00:30:38,637 Yeah. 808 00:30:38,639 --> 00:30:41,811 No. We're all unstable. 809 00:30:41,813 --> 00:30:43,414 Okay, you know what, I'm just not leaving! 810 00:30:43,416 --> 00:30:45,317 I'm not leaving. 811 00:30:45,319 --> 00:30:47,121 Not leaving. 812 00:30:47,123 --> 00:30:49,192 David, I did not tell her. 813 00:30:51,865 --> 00:30:53,700 It's like I'm staring into my soul 814 00:30:53,702 --> 00:30:54,904 when I look at this wall. 815 00:30:54,906 --> 00:30:58,243 It's like outer space without the stars. 816 00:30:58,245 --> 00:30:59,579 It's so black. 817 00:30:59,581 --> 00:31:02,118 This is gonna look so awesome! 818 00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:03,253 It's so intimidating. 819 00:31:03,255 --> 00:31:04,522 Anyone who comes in here 820 00:31:04,524 --> 00:31:06,293 is gonna have to take me seriously. 821 00:31:06,295 --> 00:31:09,165 Abandon all hope, ye who enter here. 822 00:31:09,836 --> 00:31:10,969 Totally. 823 00:31:21,691 --> 00:31:22,692 Bye, Hunter. 824 00:31:22,694 --> 00:31:23,695 Bye. 825 00:31:25,132 --> 00:31:27,134 Good luck with your band. 826 00:31:27,136 --> 00:31:28,136 Oh, thank... 827 00:31:28,138 --> 00:31:29,472 Don't let them change you. 828 00:31:29,474 --> 00:31:31,076 Okay? 829 00:31:51,450 --> 00:31:53,687 So long, 830 00:31:55,893 --> 00:31:59,332 So I am gonna give her a ride home. 831 00:31:59,334 --> 00:32:01,102 Let me know about the job. 832 00:32:01,104 --> 00:32:02,873 Actually, Michael, I think we're gonna take it 833 00:32:02,875 --> 00:32:04,008 in another direction. 834 00:32:04,010 --> 00:32:05,678 Good, I'm glad we're on the same page. 835 00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:07,315 I have a lot of ideas for new directions. 836 00:32:07,317 --> 00:32:10,187 No, we're not giving you the job. 837 00:32:15,332 --> 00:32:16,366 You know what? 838 00:32:16,368 --> 00:32:18,738 That is actually good 839 00:32:18,740 --> 00:32:21,443 because, um... 840 00:32:21,445 --> 00:32:24,515 I don't think I could take my girlfriend's job. 841 00:32:24,517 --> 00:32:26,720 That's not being a good boyfriend. 842 00:32:26,722 --> 00:32:31,396 So I respectfully withdraw my name from consideration. 843 00:32:33,836 --> 00:32:35,537 Do you accept my withdrawal? 844 00:32:35,539 --> 00:32:37,341 - I do. - Good, very good. 845 00:32:37,343 --> 00:32:39,780 I am glad we are finally on the same page. 846 00:32:39,782 --> 00:32:41,683 Still have my job in Scranton though? 847 00:32:41,685 --> 00:32:43,053 Yes. Good. 848 00:32:43,055 --> 00:32:44,555 It's all I ever wanted. 849 00:32:44,557 --> 00:32:46,726 These two... 850 00:32:46,728 --> 00:32:48,798 either one of them... 851 00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:51,202 excellent candidates. 852 00:32:54,243 --> 00:32:55,644 Wow. 853 00:32:56,783 --> 00:33:01,089 That was some serious, hardcore self-destruction. 854 00:33:01,091 --> 00:33:02,358 Yeah. 855 00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:03,961 Kinda feel bad for her though. 856 00:33:03,963 --> 00:33:06,166 Don't. She's nuts. 857 00:33:08,005 --> 00:33:09,873 Oh, man. 858 00:33:11,377 --> 00:33:13,113 You know what? This might take a while. 859 00:33:13,115 --> 00:33:15,117 You really don't have to stay, if you don't want. 860 00:33:15,119 --> 00:33:17,621 Okay, good, because a bunch of my friends 861 00:33:17,623 --> 00:33:19,258 are meeting downtown for lunch, 862 00:33:19,260 --> 00:33:20,728 and I was gonna meet them. 863 00:33:20,731 --> 00:33:21,964 Okay. So... 864 00:33:21,966 --> 00:33:22,999 Just call me when you're done. 865 00:33:23,001 --> 00:33:24,635 Sure. 866 00:33:24,637 --> 00:33:31,884 - Good luck, Halpert. - Thank you. 867 00:33:31,886 --> 00:33:34,322 Dunder-Mifflin, this is Grace. 868 00:33:34,324 --> 00:33:36,526 Sure. 869 00:33:39,266 --> 00:33:40,501 Oh, God! 870 00:33:40,503 --> 00:33:42,071 I mean, I just don't understand. 871 00:33:42,073 --> 00:33:44,075 It's just so rude, you know? 872 00:33:44,077 --> 00:33:45,644 I mean, the absolute nerve of that guy! 873 00:33:45,646 --> 00:33:46,881 I am sorry about that. 874 00:33:46,883 --> 00:33:48,083 - Oh, just... - That was terrible. 875 00:33:48,085 --> 00:33:49,719 No, actually, I think it's good. 876 00:33:49,721 --> 00:33:51,089 You know, it's fine actually. 877 00:33:51,091 --> 00:33:52,258 I-I do. 878 00:33:52,260 --> 00:33:54,128 I really think it's great that it happened, 879 00:33:54,130 --> 00:33:55,899 because, you know, my work has always been 880 00:33:55,901 --> 00:33:56,901 the thing that's gotten in the way 881 00:33:56,903 --> 00:33:57,903 of my happiness, so... 882 00:33:57,905 --> 00:33:58,906 Mm-hmm, yeah. 883 00:33:59,909 --> 00:34:02,178 Well, it's... 884 00:34:08,125 --> 00:34:10,160 No, don't cry. 885 00:34:10,162 --> 00:34:11,162 It's gonna be okay. 886 00:34:11,164 --> 00:34:13,466 Oh, I know, I know. 887 00:34:13,468 --> 00:34:15,070 It's just... I'm sorry. 888 00:34:15,072 --> 00:34:17,141 It's just these painkillers that I started taking 889 00:34:17,143 --> 00:34:18,978 since the surgery. 890 00:34:18,980 --> 00:34:23,086 Oh, they make my moods totally unpredictable. 891 00:34:23,088 --> 00:34:24,488 Wow. 892 00:34:24,490 --> 00:34:27,027 What am I gonna do? 893 00:34:29,834 --> 00:34:34,609 Well, I guess you could come and stay at my condo. 894 00:34:34,611 --> 00:34:36,780 I think I could back out of the sale. 895 00:34:36,782 --> 00:34:38,784 Probably get some negative feedback 896 00:34:38,786 --> 00:34:40,087 on my eBay profile. 897 00:34:40,089 --> 00:34:41,089 Live together... 898 00:34:41,091 --> 00:34:42,091 Actually, wait a minute. 899 00:34:42,093 --> 00:34:43,093 This could be great. 900 00:34:43,095 --> 00:34:44,428 This could be perfect. 901 00:34:44,430 --> 00:34:46,566 You know, my full-time job could be our relationship. 902 00:34:46,568 --> 00:34:47,802 I could wear stretch pants and wait for you 903 00:34:47,804 --> 00:34:49,105 to come home at 5:15. 904 00:34:49,107 --> 00:34:50,240 It could work, this could work! 905 00:34:50,242 --> 00:34:52,077 Really. 906 00:35:01,965 --> 00:35:03,768 I'll be back. 907 00:35:03,770 --> 00:35:07,308 And I am back. 908 00:35:07,310 --> 00:35:08,510 How'd it go? 909 00:35:08,512 --> 00:35:10,280 No. No, Pam. 910 00:35:10,282 --> 00:35:12,752 I'm back. 911 00:35:12,754 --> 00:35:15,324 For good. 912 00:35:15,326 --> 00:35:16,760 Kevin Nealon. 913 00:35:16,762 --> 00:35:19,231 Everybody, may I have your attention please? 914 00:35:19,233 --> 00:35:23,206 It is with great honor and privilege 915 00:35:23,208 --> 00:35:26,012 that I announce to you, I have officially withdrawn 916 00:35:26,014 --> 00:35:28,884 my name for consideration from the corporate job. 917 00:35:28,886 --> 00:35:31,589 I know, I know, I know. 918 00:35:31,591 --> 00:35:33,093 "Michael, what are you thinking? 919 00:35:33,095 --> 00:35:34,095 You were a shoo-in." 920 00:35:34,097 --> 00:35:36,099 Well, got down there. 921 00:35:36,101 --> 00:35:37,902 I nailed the interview. 922 00:35:37,904 --> 00:35:40,607 And the strangest thing happened. 923 00:35:40,609 --> 00:35:43,413 Why is my office black? 924 00:35:43,415 --> 00:35:45,752 To intimidate my subordinates. 925 00:35:45,754 --> 00:35:47,421 That's stupid. 926 00:35:47,423 --> 00:35:48,824 It was Andy's idea. 927 00:35:48,826 --> 00:35:50,394 You shouldn't have taken it. 928 00:35:50,396 --> 00:35:52,464 Bad management. 929 00:35:52,466 --> 00:35:55,704 Good thing I'm back. 930 00:35:55,706 --> 00:35:57,742 Ryan, coffee. 931 00:35:57,744 --> 00:35:59,445 I don't do that stuff anymore. 932 00:35:59,447 --> 00:36:02,017 No, it's for me, bimbo. 933 00:36:02,019 --> 00:36:03,119 Kids. 934 00:36:03,121 --> 00:36:05,123 So I'm back. 935 00:36:05,125 --> 00:36:12,171 And I am never, ever going to leave. 936 00:36:12,173 --> 00:36:15,745 I am going nowhere. 937 00:36:15,747 --> 00:36:19,285 This place is like... 938 00:36:19,287 --> 00:36:22,558 the hospital where I was born, 939 00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:25,230 my house, 940 00:36:25,232 --> 00:36:29,405 my old age home, 941 00:36:29,407 --> 00:36:31,576 and my graveyard... 942 00:36:31,578 --> 00:36:34,115 for my bones. 943 00:36:34,117 --> 00:36:36,619 Did Karen get the job? 944 00:36:39,025 --> 00:36:40,627 Back to work. 945 00:36:40,629 --> 00:36:42,197 Still waiting on that coffee. 946 00:36:56,493 --> 00:36:57,829 Pam, hello. 947 00:36:57,831 --> 00:36:58,931 Dwight, hello. 948 00:36:58,933 --> 00:37:00,835 I wanted to thank you. 949 00:37:02,272 --> 00:37:04,375 For helping me... 950 00:37:04,377 --> 00:37:05,978 when you held the title 951 00:37:05,980 --> 00:37:09,151 of secret assistant to the regional manager. 952 00:37:11,223 --> 00:37:15,363 You served the office with great dignity. 953 00:37:23,147 --> 00:37:25,550 No, I don't know what the future holds, 954 00:37:25,552 --> 00:37:28,456 but I'm optimistic. 955 00:37:28,458 --> 00:37:32,030 And, uh, I had fun goofing around with Dwight today. 956 00:37:33,969 --> 00:37:37,708 Jim and I are just too similar. 957 00:37:39,145 --> 00:37:42,819 Maybe one day I'll find my own Karen. 958 00:37:42,821 --> 00:37:45,290 But... you... that is a, um... 959 00:37:45,292 --> 00:37:46,927 You know, not... 960 00:37:46,929 --> 00:37:48,296 A man. 961 00:37:48,298 --> 00:37:49,866 A man version. 962 00:37:49,868 --> 00:37:53,874 But, uh, until then... 963 00:37:53,876 --> 00:37:56,679 I can hold my head up. 964 00:37:56,681 --> 00:37:58,751 I'm not gay. 965 00:37:58,753 --> 00:38:01,923 I don't know how I feel about hiring a Sixers fan. 966 00:38:01,925 --> 00:38:03,459 I should leave. 967 00:38:04,397 --> 00:38:05,563 Now, let me ask you a question, Jim. 968 00:38:05,565 --> 00:38:07,167 You're clearly a very bright guy. 969 00:38:07,169 --> 00:38:08,369 - Thanks. - Always hit your numbers. 970 00:38:08,371 --> 00:38:10,473 Personable, you make a great impression 971 00:38:10,475 --> 00:38:11,810 - on everyone you meet. - I'm sorry, wait. 972 00:38:11,812 --> 00:38:14,048 So is the question how'd I get to be so awesome? 973 00:38:15,652 --> 00:38:16,787 Because I don't have an answer for you. 974 00:38:16,789 --> 00:38:19,558 Oh, uh, hey, do you have your quarterly numbers? 975 00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:20,727 Yes, absolutely. 976 00:38:20,730 --> 00:38:21,830 And that, uh, questionnaire? 977 00:38:21,832 --> 00:38:23,066 Sorry to make you fill that thing out. 978 00:38:23,068 --> 00:38:25,136 - Oh, no, absolutely. - Stupid HR formality. 979 00:38:25,138 --> 00:38:28,109 We have this very irritating HR guy here. 980 00:38:28,111 --> 00:38:29,511 He's probably the only person you're not gonna like. 981 00:38:29,513 --> 00:38:33,286 Kendall. Ugh. 982 00:38:33,288 --> 00:38:35,623 So first up. 983 00:38:35,625 --> 00:38:36,659 There you go. 984 00:38:36,661 --> 00:38:37,661 How do you think you'd function 985 00:38:37,663 --> 00:38:39,264 here in New York? 986 00:38:39,266 --> 00:38:41,402 What's that? 987 00:38:41,404 --> 00:38:43,172 Oh, uh, great. You know? 988 00:38:43,174 --> 00:38:45,845 I just, um, I really appreciate the buildings, 989 00:38:45,847 --> 00:38:48,249 and, uh, the people. 990 00:38:48,251 --> 00:38:51,757 And, um, there's just an energy that New York has. 991 00:38:51,759 --> 00:38:53,025 - Mm-hmm. - Uh... 992 00:38:53,027 --> 00:38:55,697 Not to mention, they have places that are open past 8:00. 993 00:38:55,699 --> 00:38:57,434 So that's a bonus. 994 00:38:57,436 --> 00:38:58,569 You've been in the Scranton branch 995 00:38:58,571 --> 00:38:59,873 a long time. 996 00:38:59,875 --> 00:39:03,379 What have you liked most about that place? 997 00:39:05,886 --> 00:39:07,621 The friendships. 998 00:39:07,623 --> 00:39:08,991 Okay. 999 00:39:08,993 --> 00:39:11,529 Well, we want the person who takes this position 1000 00:39:11,531 --> 00:39:13,666 to be here for the long haul. 1001 00:39:13,668 --> 00:39:16,372 So... long haul. 1002 00:39:16,374 --> 00:39:18,242 Where do you see yourself in ten years? 1003 00:39:28,063 --> 00:39:29,766 How are your feet? 1004 00:39:29,768 --> 00:39:31,335 Medium rare. 1005 00:39:31,337 --> 00:39:33,039 Thanks. 1006 00:39:35,444 --> 00:39:37,180 The real reason that I went to Stamford 1007 00:39:37,182 --> 00:39:41,522 was because I wanted to be... 1008 00:39:41,524 --> 00:39:44,963 not here. 1009 00:39:44,965 --> 00:39:47,567 I know. 1010 00:39:47,569 --> 00:39:52,444 And even though I came back, 1011 00:39:52,446 --> 00:39:54,548 I just feel like 1012 00:39:54,550 --> 00:39:58,757 I've never really come back. 1013 00:40:05,839 --> 00:40:08,075 Well, I wish you would. 1014 00:40:15,659 --> 00:40:18,764 Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam. 1015 00:40:18,766 --> 00:40:20,834 Just one moment, I'll transfer you. 1016 00:40:20,836 --> 00:40:22,470 I haven't heard anything. 1017 00:40:22,472 --> 00:40:24,742 But I bet Jim got the job. 1018 00:40:24,744 --> 00:40:26,045 I mean, why wouldn't he? 1019 00:40:26,047 --> 00:40:28,482 He's totally qualified and smart. 1020 00:40:28,484 --> 00:40:30,754 Everyone loves him. 1021 00:40:30,756 --> 00:40:34,695 And if he never comes back again, 1022 00:40:34,697 --> 00:40:37,033 that's okay. 1023 00:40:37,035 --> 00:40:39,338 We're friends. 1024 00:40:39,340 --> 00:40:42,110 And I'm sure we'll stay friends. 1025 00:40:42,112 --> 00:40:44,849 We just... we never got the timing right. 1026 00:40:44,851 --> 00:40:46,285 You know? 1027 00:40:46,287 --> 00:40:50,794 I shot him down, and then he did the same to me, and... 1028 00:40:50,796 --> 00:40:51,796 But you know what? 1029 00:40:51,798 --> 00:40:53,399 It's okay. 1030 00:40:53,401 --> 00:40:55,603 I am totally fine. 1031 00:40:55,605 --> 00:40:57,073 Everything is gonna be totally... 1032 00:40:57,075 --> 00:40:58,676 Pam. Sorry. 1033 00:40:58,678 --> 00:41:02,684 Um, are you free for dinner tonight? 1034 00:41:02,686 --> 00:41:04,121 Yes. 1035 00:41:04,123 --> 00:41:05,390 All right. 1036 00:41:05,392 --> 00:41:08,997 Then it's a date. 1037 00:41:15,210 --> 00:41:17,280 I'm sorry, what was the question? 1038 00:41:17,715 --> 00:41:21,255 So I know we left the other day on a note of uncertainty, 1039 00:41:21,257 --> 00:41:22,958 but after some more thought, 1040 00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:25,931 I'm very pleased to be able to offer you this job. 1041 00:41:25,933 --> 00:41:28,035 Great. 1042 00:41:28,037 --> 00:41:29,772 I'm so glad. 1043 00:41:29,774 --> 00:41:31,776 We're all very excited you're gonna be joining us. 1044 00:41:31,778 --> 00:41:33,747 It'll be nice to have another MBA around here. 1045 00:41:33,749 --> 00:41:36,418 I'm excited too. 1046 00:41:36,420 --> 00:41:38,122 Okay. 1047 00:41:38,124 --> 00:41:40,794 Bye. 1048 00:41:40,796 --> 00:41:41,796 Who was that? 1049 00:41:41,798 --> 00:41:43,967 Nobody. 1050 00:41:43,969 --> 00:41:45,436 You and I are done. 1051 00:41:45,438 --> 00:41:47,507 What? 1052 00:41:48,544 --> 00:41:58,554 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.