1 00:00:02,381 --> 00:00:03,861 They're just numbers and boring and... 2 00:00:03,916 --> 00:00:04,940 Blech! 3 00:00:05,017 --> 00:00:08,111 So what I was thinking is that maybe we should have some sort of graphic, 4 00:00:08,187 --> 00:00:11,281 like if we have a bad quarter, put in a storm cloud. 5 00:00:13,593 --> 00:00:17,188 And when we have a good quarter, 6 00:00:17,263 --> 00:00:21,131 fireworks or a racecar. 7 00:00:22,034 --> 00:00:25,128 Doesn't have to be a racecar. Use your imagination. 8 00:00:25,204 --> 00:00:27,934 There's this cube on the screen, and it bounces around all day, 9 00:00:28,007 --> 00:00:31,841 and sometimes it looks like it's heading right into the corner of the screen, 10 00:00:31,911 --> 00:00:35,005 and then at the last minute, it hits a wall and bounces away. 11 00:00:35,081 --> 00:00:38,448 We are all just dying to see it go right into the corner. 12 00:00:40,653 --> 00:00:44,521 Pam claims that she saw it one day when she was alone in the conference room. 13 00:00:44,590 --> 00:00:47,491 Okay. I believe she thinks she saw it. 14 00:00:48,094 --> 00:00:50,824 I saw it. I saw it, and it was amazing. 15 00:00:50,897 --> 00:00:53,108 Who said I didn't see it? Did Jim say that I didn't see it? 16 00:00:53,132 --> 00:00:54,190 I saw it. 17 00:00:54,433 --> 00:00:57,197 We have a lot of colored paper here. 18 00:00:57,270 --> 00:00:59,636 Why, oh, why do we keep printing this on white? 19 00:00:59,705 --> 00:01:01,468 No! Come on! 20 00:01:01,541 --> 00:01:03,839 Yeah! I know. 21 00:01:04,577 --> 00:01:05,839 I know. It's bland. 22 00:01:05,912 --> 00:01:07,072 It's never going to happen. 23 00:01:07,146 --> 00:01:08,977 Dude, you gotta believe. 24 00:01:09,148 --> 00:01:11,673 Maybe we could have some sort of riddle? 25 00:01:11,751 --> 00:01:12,775 Wait for it. 26 00:01:12,852 --> 00:01:18,688 Like something that you have to look for, sort of a Where's Waldo? 27 00:01:23,262 --> 00:01:25,389 All right. All right. Let's quit while we're ahead. 28 00:01:25,464 --> 00:01:26,761 That was so awesome. 29 00:01:26,833 --> 00:01:29,165 That was awesome. Thank you. 30 00:01:30,670 --> 00:01:34,731 Some days I am just on fire. What can I say? 31 00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:42,704 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 32 00:02:08,608 --> 00:02:10,132 Hey. There he is. 33 00:02:10,209 --> 00:02:11,904 Hey, Meredith. How are you feeling? 34 00:02:11,978 --> 00:02:13,755 I never thanked you for coming to the hospital. 35 00:02:13,779 --> 00:02:16,270 Oh, please. It was my pleasure. Well, we all came, so... 36 00:02:16,349 --> 00:02:18,579 Well, I really appreciate you coming. 37 00:02:18,651 --> 00:02:20,585 I'm singling you out. 38 00:02:21,754 --> 00:02:23,881 Anyway, I have this Sharpie, 39 00:02:23,956 --> 00:02:26,652 and I was wondering if you could sign my cast. 40 00:02:26,759 --> 00:02:28,192 Mmm-hmm. 41 00:02:33,366 --> 00:02:34,576 Can you write where I can read it? 42 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:35,999 Oh, yeah. 43 00:02:41,841 --> 00:02:44,071 I'll read this when I get home. 44 00:02:44,143 --> 00:02:45,508 All right. 45 00:02:48,848 --> 00:02:51,168 Michael, this is the press release I was telling you about. 46 00:02:51,217 --> 00:02:52,946 Ryan wants you to share it with everyone. 47 00:02:53,019 --> 00:02:54,281 Does he? 48 00:02:54,353 --> 00:02:55,615 He does. 49 00:02:56,489 --> 00:02:58,582 Okay. Attention. 50 00:02:58,658 --> 00:03:00,649 Earthlings, I have some news. 51 00:03:00,726 --> 00:03:03,820 Beep, beep, beep. 52 00:03:03,896 --> 00:03:05,454 Beep, beep, beep. Okay. 53 00:03:05,531 --> 00:03:09,433 Today is the big day that I'm heading to New York to attend a party 54 00:03:09,502 --> 00:03:11,527 with sushi and important people. 55 00:03:11,771 --> 00:03:14,638 On an unrelated note, if anybody has an interesting anecdote 56 00:03:14,707 --> 00:03:16,607 that is not boring and easy to memorize, 57 00:03:16,676 --> 00:03:19,543 please drop by my office before I leave. Thank you. 58 00:03:20,246 --> 00:03:22,578 Is that really what Ryan wanted you to tell us? 59 00:03:22,648 --> 00:03:28,211 And today, the Dunder Mifflin Infinity website officially launches. 60 00:03:28,587 --> 00:03:32,148 Well, the website is the brainchild of my brainchild, Ryan. 61 00:03:32,224 --> 00:03:34,283 It is my brain-grandchild. 62 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:36,555 And to celebrate its birth, 63 00:03:36,729 --> 00:03:39,755 all of the different branches are going to have satellite parties, 64 00:03:39,832 --> 00:03:43,598 which will be connected, via webcams and fibers, 65 00:03:43,669 --> 00:03:46,365 to the real party, which is going on in New York City 66 00:03:46,439 --> 00:03:49,431 at a very exclusive nightclub. 67 00:03:49,508 --> 00:03:53,035 That is where all of the VIPs, 68 00:03:53,112 --> 00:03:58,448 including yours truly, will be partying with New York City's finest. 69 00:03:58,517 --> 00:04:00,508 And I do not mean policemen. 70 00:04:00,853 --> 00:04:03,083 The company is projecting record high sales, 71 00:04:03,155 --> 00:04:07,216 and that by 6:00, the website will be the new best salesman in the company. 72 00:04:07,293 --> 00:04:08,521 Wow. Watch out, Dwight. 73 00:04:08,594 --> 00:04:11,324 That's ridiculous. I'm not gonna be beaten by a website. 74 00:04:11,397 --> 00:04:12,641 Actually it sounds like you are. 75 00:04:12,665 --> 00:04:14,599 Really? 'Cause Ryan says so? 76 00:04:14,667 --> 00:04:17,261 That's from Ryan? Does it mention if he's seeing anybody? 77 00:04:17,336 --> 00:04:18,816 No, it doesn't. I'll find out tonight. 78 00:04:18,871 --> 00:04:20,395 Yes, please let us know. 79 00:04:20,473 --> 00:04:22,566 I can make more sales than a computer. 80 00:04:22,641 --> 00:04:26,008 In fact, I challenge that website to make more sales than me today. 81 00:04:26,078 --> 00:04:27,511 Waste of time. 82 00:04:27,580 --> 00:04:28,911 What's that, pipsqueak? 83 00:04:28,981 --> 00:04:31,677 Waste of time. The website's going to win. 84 00:04:31,751 --> 00:04:33,412 You believe a computer can beat me? 85 00:04:33,486 --> 00:04:34,646 I don't care, but yes. 86 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:36,085 Well, I will prove you wrong. 87 00:04:36,155 --> 00:04:37,986 I don't care, and you won't. You'll see. 88 00:04:38,057 --> 00:04:39,854 I won't be watching, and I won't. 89 00:04:42,061 --> 00:04:44,154 Dwight mercy-killed Angela's cat. 90 00:04:44,530 --> 00:04:46,122 It's very complicated. 91 00:04:47,333 --> 00:04:50,791 It's caused a lot of unpleasantness between Dwight and Angela, 92 00:04:50,870 --> 00:04:52,963 who were both already prone to unpleasantness. 93 00:05:00,446 --> 00:05:02,175 Stanley, you're dancing. 94 00:05:02,248 --> 00:05:03,715 No, I'm not. 95 00:05:05,751 --> 00:05:08,549 Yeah, I created a website. 96 00:05:08,621 --> 00:05:12,614 Look, at the end of the day, Apple's apple is flying at 30,000 feet. 97 00:05:13,225 --> 00:05:14,715 This is a paper company, 98 00:05:14,794 --> 00:05:17,786 and I don't want us to get lost in the weeds or into a beauty contest. 99 00:05:17,863 --> 00:05:20,195 I told you I don't want you doing these things in here. 100 00:05:20,266 --> 00:05:22,598 You can use your own office or do it in the hall. 101 00:05:23,169 --> 00:05:25,865 Convergence, viral marketing, we're going guerilla, 102 00:05:25,938 --> 00:05:27,015 we're taking it the streets, 103 00:05:27,039 --> 00:05:29,030 while keeping an eye on the street, Wall Street. 104 00:05:29,108 --> 00:05:30,485 I don't want to reinvent the wheel here. 105 00:05:30,509 --> 00:05:33,103 In other words, it is what it is. 106 00:05:33,746 --> 00:05:35,805 Buying paper just became fun. 107 00:05:37,850 --> 00:05:41,411 And this is where I will record your sales. 108 00:05:42,254 --> 00:05:43,551 Very nice, very nice. 109 00:05:43,622 --> 00:05:47,524 And then I will say something positive like, "Kudos," 110 00:05:47,593 --> 00:05:49,288 or, "Job well done." 111 00:05:49,361 --> 00:05:51,420 Or, "Zip-a-dee-doo-dah!" 112 00:05:53,933 --> 00:05:55,423 I can't tell if he's mocking me. 113 00:05:55,501 --> 00:05:57,128 Just ignore him. 114 00:05:57,736 --> 00:06:00,864 I can't do that. It's really hard for me to let things go. 115 00:06:00,940 --> 00:06:03,101 I was mocking. 116 00:06:03,175 --> 00:06:04,642 Thank you. 117 00:06:05,678 --> 00:06:09,114 I just feel like we need something more to acknowledge when I make a sale. 118 00:06:09,181 --> 00:06:11,240 Yes! Like a chime or a bell. 119 00:06:11,317 --> 00:06:12,716 Or a gong. 120 00:06:19,024 --> 00:06:23,984 Go to my car, open the trunk, inside you will see many pelts. 121 00:06:24,063 --> 00:06:28,659 Under the smallest one is a case. Inside that case is a bear horn. 122 00:06:28,734 --> 00:06:29,928 Bring it to me. 123 00:06:30,002 --> 00:06:31,162 Yes! 124 00:06:37,376 --> 00:06:40,504 Isn't 7:00 p.m. A little late for a lunch party? 125 00:06:41,847 --> 00:06:45,044 Lunch party? It's supposed to say "Launch Party." 126 00:06:45,885 --> 00:06:47,318 What is wrong with you? 127 00:06:47,820 --> 00:06:51,847 Angela is worse than usual lately, and we have a party to throw, 128 00:06:52,424 --> 00:06:55,985 so I googled, "How to deal with difficult people." 129 00:06:56,529 --> 00:06:58,224 And I got all of this. 130 00:06:59,298 --> 00:07:02,028 So we're gonna try out some new things today. 131 00:07:02,268 --> 00:07:05,601 So, how do you feel about the fact that the banner says "Lunch"? 132 00:07:05,871 --> 00:07:10,808 I feel angry. Angry at you. Angry at you for doing something stupid. 133 00:07:11,110 --> 00:07:14,409 Angry at me for believing you could do something not stupid. 134 00:07:16,148 --> 00:07:18,616 I'm so sorry to hear that. That must be awful. 135 00:07:18,684 --> 00:07:21,482 It is awful. You've made this day awful. 136 00:07:21,954 --> 00:07:24,980 Maybe you could just change the U into an A. 137 00:07:25,658 --> 00:07:27,751 Then it would say "Lanch Party," Kevin. 138 00:07:27,826 --> 00:07:29,826 Would it really be better if it said "Lanch Party"? 139 00:07:29,862 --> 00:07:30,920 Lunch party. 140 00:07:30,996 --> 00:07:32,486 It's supposed to say "Launch." 141 00:07:32,565 --> 00:07:34,192 Okay, wow, easy, booster seat. 142 00:07:34,266 --> 00:07:36,325 Nobody cares about this party anyway. 143 00:07:36,402 --> 00:07:37,426 I care. 144 00:07:37,503 --> 00:07:40,097 "Plan a party, Angela. Oh, and the entire world will see it." 145 00:07:40,172 --> 00:07:42,333 "Oh, and here's $65 for your budget." 146 00:07:42,408 --> 00:07:45,172 "Oh, and here are four idiots who will do nothing but weigh you down." 147 00:07:45,244 --> 00:07:46,734 "Oh, and your cat's still dead." 148 00:07:47,413 --> 00:07:48,641 Twenty seconds to go-time. 149 00:07:48,714 --> 00:07:50,341 Got it. Carb up. 150 00:07:51,317 --> 00:07:53,308 Really? Power Gel? 151 00:07:53,385 --> 00:07:56,650 Hey, if you want to win, you got to fuel like a winner. 152 00:07:57,489 --> 00:07:59,650 Okay, we start. 153 00:08:00,125 --> 00:08:02,855 As soon as I make this shot. 154 00:08:02,928 --> 00:08:04,122 Hey! Go! 155 00:08:04,196 --> 00:08:05,254 Yeah! 156 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,120 Hello, Susan. Dwight Schrute. 157 00:08:09,168 --> 00:08:12,296 What would you say if I told you we could pull a prank on Dwight, 158 00:08:12,371 --> 00:08:14,566 at the same time, not be working? 159 00:08:16,141 --> 00:08:18,109 What? He's going through a breakup. 160 00:08:18,177 --> 00:08:21,476 Yeah. I'm aware of that, but he's also being super-annoying, 161 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:22,840 and I'm not a perfect person. 162 00:08:23,816 --> 00:08:25,147 Yeah! Yeah! 163 00:08:25,217 --> 00:08:26,343 Got one! 164 00:08:26,418 --> 00:08:29,649 Three reams! In your face, machines! 165 00:08:31,190 --> 00:08:33,385 What kind of prank are you thinking? 166 00:08:34,393 --> 00:08:37,123 What if I told you I could offer free shipping? 167 00:08:37,196 --> 00:08:38,561 Sure, I'll hold. 168 00:08:56,515 --> 00:08:59,780 Not sure. Just became self-aware. 169 00:09:00,753 --> 00:09:02,345 So much to figure out. 170 00:09:03,055 --> 00:09:05,523 I think I am programmed to be your enemy. 171 00:09:05,991 --> 00:09:10,587 I think it is my job to destroy you when it comes to selling paper. 172 00:09:33,118 --> 00:09:35,678 It appears that the website has become alive. 173 00:09:35,988 --> 00:09:38,354 This happens to computers and robots sometimes. 174 00:09:38,424 --> 00:09:39,948 Am I scared of a stupid computer? 175 00:09:40,025 --> 00:09:42,892 Please, that computer should be scared of me. 176 00:09:42,961 --> 00:09:47,057 I have been salesman of the month for 13 out of the last 12 months. 177 00:09:47,132 --> 00:09:50,158 You heard me right. I did so well last February, 178 00:09:50,269 --> 00:09:53,170 that corporate gave me two plaques in lieu of a pay raise. 179 00:09:59,578 --> 00:10:01,136 Okay. 180 00:10:02,081 --> 00:10:03,378 Yes, it's too tight. 181 00:10:03,449 --> 00:10:04,507 Way too tight. 182 00:10:04,583 --> 00:10:05,583 Really? 183 00:10:05,651 --> 00:10:06,913 This is why I'm here? 184 00:10:06,985 --> 00:10:08,577 Why is it so tight? 185 00:10:08,654 --> 00:10:10,019 It's a European cut. 186 00:10:10,089 --> 00:10:11,818 It just looks bad. 187 00:10:12,658 --> 00:10:13,682 Um... 188 00:10:13,759 --> 00:10:17,251 Hey, what's hanging? 189 00:10:17,329 --> 00:10:19,092 Setting up the webcam for the party. 190 00:10:19,164 --> 00:10:20,756 Good, okay, cool. 191 00:10:25,104 --> 00:10:27,095 How many pounds do you think I can lose by 7:00? 192 00:10:27,172 --> 00:10:29,265 Depends. How much have you eaten already today? 193 00:10:29,341 --> 00:10:32,105 I had one of those big... 194 00:10:32,177 --> 00:10:34,270 Dunder Mifflin. This is Pam. 195 00:10:34,713 --> 00:10:38,240 Just one second. We're in a meeting. I'll see if he's available. 196 00:10:38,450 --> 00:10:39,644 It's Jan. 197 00:10:41,186 --> 00:10:43,586 Why don't you want to go tonight? What... 198 00:10:43,655 --> 00:10:45,567 All your friends are going to be there... My friends? 199 00:10:45,591 --> 00:10:47,151 It'll be fun. Michael, I was terminated. 200 00:10:47,359 --> 00:10:48,359 Just... 201 00:10:48,427 --> 00:10:49,704 Is it really that important to you? 202 00:10:49,728 --> 00:10:50,752 Yeah. 203 00:10:50,829 --> 00:10:52,228 All right. Thank you. 204 00:10:52,297 --> 00:10:53,821 Go by yourself. 205 00:10:53,899 --> 00:10:55,230 No. No. 206 00:10:55,401 --> 00:10:58,962 No. If I go by myself, everybody will think I'm a big loser. 207 00:11:00,205 --> 00:11:02,503 Well... Do I have your permission to invite Carole? 208 00:11:02,574 --> 00:11:03,666 What? Jeez, Michael! 209 00:11:03,742 --> 00:11:04,936 I'm sorry. 210 00:11:05,010 --> 00:11:08,776 I'm sorry. It's just the first girl that popped into my head. 211 00:11:08,847 --> 00:11:10,607 I'll find somebody that I haven't slept with. 212 00:11:11,750 --> 00:11:13,081 Nice. 213 00:11:13,152 --> 00:11:15,017 Website check, please. 214 00:11:15,087 --> 00:11:16,816 305. 215 00:11:16,889 --> 00:11:20,985 305. You, my friend, are winning handsomely. 216 00:11:21,827 --> 00:11:23,818 It just made another sale. 380. 217 00:11:23,896 --> 00:11:28,390 You, my friend, are in a very close second. 218 00:11:28,467 --> 00:11:29,525 402. 219 00:11:29,601 --> 00:11:31,432 Okay, why don't you just lay off, lady? 220 00:11:31,503 --> 00:11:33,698 What do you want me to do? Not announce it? 412. 221 00:11:38,243 --> 00:11:40,803 So, this is the dealio. 222 00:11:40,879 --> 00:11:43,177 God has smiled upon me 223 00:11:43,248 --> 00:11:46,740 and given me two tickets to the big party in New York, tonight. 224 00:11:46,819 --> 00:11:49,083 What are you doing this evening? 225 00:11:53,258 --> 00:11:54,623 Look at that. 226 00:11:54,693 --> 00:11:57,321 They have their own little language now, like twins. 227 00:11:57,396 --> 00:11:58,454 Sure, we'll go. 228 00:11:58,530 --> 00:12:00,341 All right. Well, fight it out amongst yourselves. 229 00:12:00,365 --> 00:12:02,026 I was thinking Pammy, 230 00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:03,931 but boys' night out is also good. 231 00:12:04,002 --> 00:12:05,469 I'm sorry. What? 232 00:12:06,805 --> 00:12:08,136 One of the tickets is for him. 233 00:12:08,207 --> 00:12:10,505 Just let me know who the winner is. 234 00:12:12,878 --> 00:12:13,936 Not it. Not it. No! 235 00:12:14,012 --> 00:12:15,036 I won. 236 00:12:15,113 --> 00:12:17,104 Definitely not. If anything it was a tie. 237 00:12:17,182 --> 00:12:18,979 Tie goes to the girlfriend. 238 00:12:20,085 --> 00:12:24,078 No, I realize you normally reorder in November, but what I'm suggesting... 239 00:12:24,523 --> 00:12:26,184 You did what? 240 00:12:26,758 --> 00:12:29,818 No. That's exactly what you're not supposed to do, damn it! 241 00:12:29,895 --> 00:12:31,385 Why would you reorder from a computer 242 00:12:31,463 --> 00:12:34,330 when you could have the personal touch of a salesman? 243 00:12:36,101 --> 00:12:37,534 How's it going? Fine. Good. 244 00:12:37,603 --> 00:12:39,002 Yeah? Yeah. 245 00:12:39,404 --> 00:12:40,462 You look a little worried. 246 00:12:40,539 --> 00:12:42,439 I do not look worried. 247 00:12:56,788 --> 00:12:58,119 "Here's a suggestion, computer." 248 00:12:58,190 --> 00:13:01,455 "I assume you read binary, so why don't you zero, one, one," 249 00:13:01,527 --> 00:13:04,553 "one, one, one, zero, one, one, zero, one, one?" 250 00:13:04,930 --> 00:13:06,192 Okay. 251 00:13:06,265 --> 00:13:10,497 While you were typing that, I searched every database in existence 252 00:13:10,569 --> 00:13:14,835 and learned every fact about everything and mastered the violin. 253 00:13:17,809 --> 00:13:19,936 And sold more paper. 254 00:13:30,255 --> 00:13:33,452 I asked for assorted cutlery, and I got back spoons. 255 00:13:33,525 --> 00:13:35,117 These are worthless. 256 00:13:35,193 --> 00:13:36,990 I want to understand what you're saying, 257 00:13:37,062 --> 00:13:39,963 but it's difficult for me when you use that tone. 258 00:13:42,634 --> 00:13:46,365 Phyllis, these are spoons. 259 00:13:46,438 --> 00:13:50,932 Spoons have rounded tops and are used to scoop things. 260 00:13:51,843 --> 00:13:53,708 What we need are forks, 261 00:13:53,779 --> 00:13:57,613 which have prongs or tiny spears on top. 262 00:13:58,150 --> 00:14:01,449 And we need knives, which have blades. 263 00:14:02,354 --> 00:14:04,083 Do you understand me now? 264 00:14:04,790 --> 00:14:06,189 Yes. 265 00:14:06,258 --> 00:14:07,520 Goodie. 266 00:14:12,164 --> 00:14:13,392 Hey, man. What's up, man? 267 00:14:13,465 --> 00:14:15,296 What's going on? Paper delivery. 268 00:14:15,367 --> 00:14:17,028 Oh, yeah? Kelly ordered this online. 269 00:14:28,814 --> 00:14:29,940 What are you doing? 270 00:14:30,015 --> 00:14:31,859 I am in the fight of my life against this computer, 271 00:14:31,883 --> 00:14:33,145 and every sale counts. 272 00:14:33,218 --> 00:14:35,897 But you get to put the paper in this little shopping cart and then it says, 273 00:14:35,921 --> 00:14:38,412 "Thanks for shopping with Dunder Mifflin." 274 00:14:38,657 --> 00:14:42,354 Damn it, Kelly! It knows! It knows what you did! 275 00:14:42,427 --> 00:14:43,451 Who knows? 276 00:14:43,528 --> 00:14:44,552 Return it! Return it now! 277 00:14:44,630 --> 00:14:45,858 Hey. 278 00:14:46,898 --> 00:14:49,077 How about instead of yelling at our sweet little Miss Kapour 279 00:14:49,101 --> 00:14:51,763 over 500 sheets of paper, you get back to your desk 280 00:14:51,837 --> 00:14:54,397 and start selling multiple reams like a man. 281 00:14:55,207 --> 00:14:56,731 You don't understand. 282 00:14:57,843 --> 00:14:59,401 Okay, if this makes the difference, 283 00:14:59,478 --> 00:15:02,606 I'm going to tell it that you were responsible. 284 00:15:02,681 --> 00:15:04,376 Who's "it"? 285 00:15:09,821 --> 00:15:10,821 There you go. 286 00:15:10,889 --> 00:15:12,220 Thanks. 287 00:15:12,290 --> 00:15:14,087 So, you still missing Ryan? 288 00:15:14,726 --> 00:15:16,216 Not so much anymore. 289 00:15:21,333 --> 00:15:22,994 I am not a bad person. 290 00:15:23,068 --> 00:15:25,559 When I left Staples, I took some of their leads with me, 291 00:15:25,637 --> 00:15:27,696 but I never intended to use them. 292 00:15:27,773 --> 00:15:29,536 What did I intend to do with them? 293 00:15:29,975 --> 00:15:33,240 Who knows? Maybe keep them as a souvenir, 294 00:15:33,311 --> 00:15:34,437 maybe use them. 295 00:15:35,047 --> 00:15:38,380 Yes, Mr. Galioto, how would you like to pay 10%% less for paper 296 00:15:38,450 --> 00:15:40,350 than you're paying right now? 297 00:15:41,053 --> 00:15:43,112 It's not important how I got your information. 298 00:15:43,188 --> 00:15:47,215 What is important is that you say yes. Good. 299 00:15:47,292 --> 00:15:49,852 All right, I'm ready to go, and I'm calling shotgun. 300 00:15:49,928 --> 00:15:50,928 I'm driving? 301 00:15:50,996 --> 00:15:52,429 Yes. Thank you. 302 00:15:52,497 --> 00:15:54,137 All right. Let me just say goodbye to Pam. 303 00:15:54,166 --> 00:15:58,034 Oh, yeah. You better say goodbye to Pam. Say goodbye to Pam. 304 00:15:58,904 --> 00:16:02,203 Bye. I love you. 305 00:16:05,644 --> 00:16:07,111 I love you. Okay. 306 00:16:07,179 --> 00:16:10,046 I'm leaving inside Jim's car 307 00:16:10,115 --> 00:16:12,379 I don't know when I'll be back again 308 00:16:12,451 --> 00:16:17,286 Yes, I do, tomorrow I'll be back 309 00:16:17,355 --> 00:16:18,879 I'll be back tomorrow. 310 00:16:19,391 --> 00:16:23,122 Yeah, so you know what? Why don't you guys take off a little bit early tonight? 311 00:16:23,195 --> 00:16:24,787 Because there's a party. 312 00:16:24,863 --> 00:16:28,196 A party for the website I've been planning for two weeks. 313 00:16:28,266 --> 00:16:32,532 If you are not this tall, you may not ride the rollercoaster. 314 00:16:32,604 --> 00:16:33,662 See you guys tomorrow. 315 00:16:33,739 --> 00:16:36,833 Perfect. So let me just get some basic information from you. 316 00:16:45,684 --> 00:16:49,552 Sorry. I'm so sorry. Yes. Could you repeat that? 317 00:16:52,324 --> 00:16:55,316 Yes! Ten reams for the U.S. District Court! 318 00:16:56,995 --> 00:16:59,574 Did I happen to mention the 40 reams for the Battered Women's Shelter? 319 00:16:59,598 --> 00:17:00,826 No! 320 00:17:05,704 --> 00:17:08,036 Stop it. Give me that. Give it. 321 00:17:08,607 --> 00:17:09,835 Did you see the board? 322 00:17:09,908 --> 00:17:11,842 There's still an hour. 323 00:17:14,045 --> 00:17:15,774 You ever read this? 324 00:17:15,847 --> 00:17:18,907 Yeah. A long time ago, but I liked it. 325 00:17:18,984 --> 00:17:20,349 I got it for Ryan. 326 00:17:20,786 --> 00:17:22,617 I wanted to get him Oh, the Places You'll Go! 327 00:17:22,687 --> 00:17:23,745 But they were sold out. 328 00:17:23,822 --> 00:17:26,757 I figured it's the same sort of stuff in here. 329 00:17:26,825 --> 00:17:29,350 It's not. It's different. It's a good book. 330 00:17:31,663 --> 00:17:32,721 What was that? 331 00:17:32,798 --> 00:17:34,459 Leaving Pennsylvania. 332 00:17:36,101 --> 00:17:37,534 Two kisses. 333 00:17:37,602 --> 00:17:38,864 One for me. One for Jan. 334 00:17:38,937 --> 00:17:39,961 Gotcha. 335 00:17:40,038 --> 00:17:41,616 You guys should come over for dinner, you and Pam. 336 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:43,184 That would be fun. Friday? That would be fun. 337 00:17:43,208 --> 00:17:45,108 Want to come over Friday? Can't. 338 00:17:45,177 --> 00:17:46,701 After work, you... 339 00:17:46,778 --> 00:17:48,405 Oh, no, 'cause... 340 00:17:51,349 --> 00:17:52,927 You're gonna let me know when we're close, right? 341 00:17:52,951 --> 00:17:54,919 Yes. Actually, I will tell you right now. 342 00:17:54,986 --> 00:17:59,446 It's a club called Chat Room, and there's a password to get in, 343 00:17:59,524 --> 00:18:01,788 which is actually "Password," so... 344 00:18:01,860 --> 00:18:02,952 Okay. 345 00:18:03,662 --> 00:18:04,890 What are you doing? 346 00:18:04,963 --> 00:18:07,124 That is an invitation to an online party. 347 00:18:07,599 --> 00:18:09,430 No. No. I'm sure that's not. 348 00:18:10,302 --> 00:18:13,931 Are there three "W's" at the beginning of the address? 349 00:18:16,341 --> 00:18:17,706 Yes. Yeah. 350 00:18:19,544 --> 00:18:25,107 Well, the invitation says VIPs only. Is this how you treat your VIPs, Ryan? 351 00:18:26,184 --> 00:18:28,379 We're already in the city. 352 00:18:28,453 --> 00:18:31,854 The main part, with the buildings. What am I supposed to do? 353 00:18:31,923 --> 00:18:33,134 What do you want me to do tonight? 354 00:18:33,158 --> 00:18:34,386 And if you tell me 355 00:18:34,459 --> 00:18:37,451 that I have to drive back to Scranton to the satellite party, 356 00:18:37,529 --> 00:18:39,224 I am going to throw up. 357 00:18:40,632 --> 00:18:42,259 Okay, I am going to throw up. 358 00:18:42,334 --> 00:18:44,802 I'm throwing up. You're making me throw up, Ryan. 359 00:18:44,870 --> 00:18:47,114 You know what this is like? I'll tell you what this is like. 360 00:18:47,138 --> 00:18:49,333 This is like when the freshmen would throw a party 361 00:18:49,407 --> 00:18:51,773 and wouldn't let any of the seniors go. 362 00:18:53,845 --> 00:18:57,804 Doesn't it just piss you off sometimes that little twerp got the promotion over us? 363 00:18:57,883 --> 00:19:00,147 Actually, I withdrew from consideration. 364 00:19:00,218 --> 00:19:02,049 Yeah. I withdrew too. 365 00:19:10,629 --> 00:19:14,963 Four, three, two, one! 366 00:19:15,033 --> 00:19:16,330 Yes! 367 00:19:18,536 --> 00:19:20,902 After numerous projections that the computer 368 00:19:20,972 --> 00:19:23,202 would crush all salesmen in its path, 369 00:19:23,275 --> 00:19:27,837 I am very happy to report that our very own Dwight Schrute 370 00:19:27,913 --> 00:19:32,077 has crushed his electronic nemesis, if you will, 371 00:19:32,150 --> 00:19:34,516 by a whopping 52 reams. 372 00:19:34,586 --> 00:19:35,814 Reams. 373 00:19:36,054 --> 00:19:37,665 - Wait, say it again. - Announce it again. 374 00:19:37,689 --> 00:19:38,689 Fifty-two reams! 375 00:19:38,757 --> 00:19:39,815 No, no. No, the first part. 376 00:19:39,891 --> 00:19:42,553 Dwight has defeated the computer. 377 00:19:43,728 --> 00:19:47,664 Hey, so, what do you think? 378 00:19:49,134 --> 00:19:50,465 I did it for you. 379 00:19:50,535 --> 00:19:52,366 I didn't ask you to do it for me. 380 00:19:52,771 --> 00:19:54,295 You didn't have to. 381 00:19:55,740 --> 00:19:57,640 How do you tell someone it's over? 382 00:19:57,709 --> 00:20:02,203 You send them a notarized letter, right? Well, what if the recipient is your notary? 383 00:20:05,450 --> 00:20:06,883 Hello, Pam. 384 00:20:06,952 --> 00:20:08,715 Hello. Hey, 385 00:20:08,787 --> 00:20:11,153 do you have any men that you can fix me up with? 386 00:20:11,222 --> 00:20:13,918 I would like to have a relationship with a man. 387 00:20:15,860 --> 00:20:17,293 I'll get back to you. 388 00:20:17,362 --> 00:20:18,829 Let me know. 389 00:20:34,479 --> 00:20:36,242 All right, who wants to party? 390 00:20:36,314 --> 00:20:37,394 Why aren't you in New York? 391 00:20:37,449 --> 00:20:39,007 What? 392 00:20:39,084 --> 00:20:41,052 I think I faked Oscar out. 393 00:20:41,119 --> 00:20:43,400 You said you weren't coming back and we could leave early. 394 00:20:43,455 --> 00:20:45,218 I think I faked Stanley out, too. 395 00:20:45,290 --> 00:20:48,225 Who else thought that I was leaving and that you could all go home early? 396 00:20:48,293 --> 00:20:50,921 Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. 397 00:20:50,996 --> 00:20:53,157 Well, who needs New York? 398 00:20:53,231 --> 00:20:55,756 Right? We can have a killer party right here in Scranton. 399 00:20:55,834 --> 00:20:56,926 Thank you. 400 00:20:57,002 --> 00:21:00,028 No, no, no. This is going to be nothing like the party you've been planning. 401 00:21:00,105 --> 00:21:03,700 This is going to be good, and everybody's gonna come. 402 00:21:04,843 --> 00:21:06,538 What's wrong with Dwight? 403 00:21:06,611 --> 00:21:07,669 He beat the computer. 404 00:21:07,746 --> 00:21:11,580 Hey, good for you. Good for you! Scranton power. 405 00:21:12,717 --> 00:21:13,979 All right, you know what? 406 00:21:14,052 --> 00:21:16,197 Angela, I'd like you to come into my office in 10 minutes. 407 00:21:16,221 --> 00:21:18,621 Bring something to write with and something to write on. 408 00:21:18,690 --> 00:21:19,748 Good! 409 00:21:23,128 --> 00:21:25,528 It was a pretty disappointing day. 410 00:21:25,597 --> 00:21:29,931 It was kind of a slap in the face to realize that 411 00:21:30,835 --> 00:21:33,463 I wasn't as important as I thought I was 412 00:21:33,538 --> 00:21:36,666 to a certain young executive who I'd cared about. 413 00:21:37,242 --> 00:21:40,234 But, you know, I'm not gonna cry over it. 414 00:21:41,112 --> 00:21:42,704 I did that in the car on the way home. 415 00:21:43,048 --> 00:21:44,106 How are we doing on time? 416 00:21:44,182 --> 00:21:45,410 The party starts in an hour. 417 00:21:45,483 --> 00:21:48,850 Good. These are some things that I would like to have happen. 418 00:21:50,622 --> 00:21:53,056 "Beer, light beer, streamers, orchids, 419 00:21:53,124 --> 00:21:54,921 "better lighting, something made of ice"? 420 00:21:54,993 --> 00:21:56,771 Those are just things. This is how I want it to feel. 421 00:21:56,795 --> 00:22:00,196 "Pizza, pizza with mushrooms, pizza without mushrooms, white pizza, steak"? 422 00:22:00,265 --> 00:22:03,632 I would like this party to be sexier, 423 00:22:03,701 --> 00:22:05,362 cooler, more important... 424 00:22:05,437 --> 00:22:07,234 "Chocolates, someone famous"? 425 00:22:07,305 --> 00:22:08,397 Yes. "Cool music, 426 00:22:08,473 --> 00:22:10,338 "confetti, go-go dancers"? 427 00:22:10,408 --> 00:22:13,206 I want it to embarrass all other parties. 428 00:22:13,278 --> 00:22:16,611 I want it to be a party that the guys in New York 429 00:22:16,681 --> 00:22:21,209 watch on the webcam and say, "Wow, how did they get Al Roker to come?" 430 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:23,217 I can't do this. Yes, you can. 431 00:22:23,288 --> 00:22:24,288 I can't do it. 432 00:22:24,355 --> 00:22:26,084 Yes, you can. I know you can. 433 00:22:26,157 --> 00:22:28,591 I wouldn't say that if I didn't 100%% believe it. 434 00:22:28,660 --> 00:22:30,287 Who else could do this? 435 00:22:31,296 --> 00:22:32,627 Okay. Okay. 436 00:22:32,697 --> 00:22:34,708 No, seriously, is there anyone else who could do it better? 437 00:22:34,732 --> 00:22:36,927 Because we don't have a lot of time. 438 00:22:38,603 --> 00:22:40,366 I'll get the pizza! 439 00:22:48,580 --> 00:22:50,411 What do you think of Angela? 440 00:22:52,317 --> 00:22:53,784 I think she's efficient. 441 00:22:53,852 --> 00:22:56,320 No, not like that. As a woman. 442 00:22:57,021 --> 00:22:59,990 W-O-M-A-N. 443 00:23:00,058 --> 00:23:01,992 I hadn't noticed. 444 00:23:02,060 --> 00:23:04,153 You hadn't noticed she's a woman? 445 00:23:05,997 --> 00:23:08,397 I hear she's single and ready to mingle. 446 00:23:08,633 --> 00:23:11,101 I'm thinking about making a play for her. 447 00:23:11,269 --> 00:23:13,260 What do you think? Crazy, right? 448 00:23:13,771 --> 00:23:16,934 I think it's inappropriate to date someone you work with. 449 00:23:17,208 --> 00:23:18,436 Isn't that part of the fun? 450 00:23:18,510 --> 00:23:20,740 No. I think you should date Kelly. 451 00:23:21,779 --> 00:23:24,475 She works here, too. How is that any different? 452 00:23:24,916 --> 00:23:26,713 She works in the annex. 453 00:23:27,685 --> 00:23:29,778 You're also welcome to date Toby. 454 00:23:32,056 --> 00:23:33,148 Okay. 455 00:23:34,159 --> 00:23:36,150 Good news! We get to go home? 456 00:23:36,227 --> 00:23:40,721 Guess who just ordered from your favorite pizza place, Alfredo. 457 00:23:41,299 --> 00:23:42,391 Wait. 458 00:23:43,134 --> 00:23:47,036 Alfredo's Pizza Cafe? Or Pizza By Alfredo? 459 00:23:47,572 --> 00:23:48,630 Same thing. 460 00:23:48,706 --> 00:23:50,003 No. No, it's not. 461 00:23:50,074 --> 00:23:51,485 All right. You know what? I don't understand 462 00:23:51,509 --> 00:23:52,753 when you all talk at the same time. 463 00:23:52,777 --> 00:23:55,143 Oscar, talk to him. 464 00:23:55,213 --> 00:23:58,148 Michael, there's a very big difference between these two pizza places, 465 00:23:58,216 --> 00:24:02,448 both in quality of ingredients and in overall taste. 466 00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:04,420 Which one did you order from? 467 00:24:05,990 --> 00:24:07,855 Pizza By Alfredo. 468 00:24:07,926 --> 00:24:10,724 All right, you know what? Okay, okay, what is better? 469 00:24:10,795 --> 00:24:15,858 A medium amount of good pizza or all you can eat of pretty good pizza? 470 00:24:15,934 --> 00:24:18,368 Medium amount of good pizza. Medium amount of good pizza. 471 00:24:19,837 --> 00:24:24,399 Oh, no, it's bad. It's real bad. 472 00:24:25,276 --> 00:24:28,143 It's like eating a hot circle of garbage. 473 00:24:31,282 --> 00:24:33,842 You can pick one of these things. 474 00:24:33,918 --> 00:24:36,944 It's unreasonable for you to ask me to do all of this. 475 00:24:37,622 --> 00:24:41,388 It should take you no time at all if you put the care into it that you normally do. 476 00:24:44,996 --> 00:24:46,190 Ow! 477 00:24:46,264 --> 00:24:47,993 That seemed to shut her up. 478 00:24:51,502 --> 00:24:52,546 You looking for dinner and a movie? 479 00:24:52,570 --> 00:24:55,300 'Cause you're not gonna find it in that box. 480 00:24:57,508 --> 00:25:00,875 It just so happens, I know where you can find it, but again, 481 00:25:02,547 --> 00:25:04,572 not in the box. 482 00:25:07,819 --> 00:25:10,185 Angela, are you hearing words that I'm saying? 483 00:25:10,255 --> 00:25:11,415 What? 484 00:25:11,489 --> 00:25:12,683 Hello. 485 00:25:13,524 --> 00:25:15,269 I have been working on a party for three weeks 486 00:25:15,293 --> 00:25:16,693 that just got thrown out the window, 487 00:25:16,761 --> 00:25:18,956 so now I have to pull together a whole new party, 488 00:25:19,030 --> 00:25:20,793 and my useless number two quit. 489 00:25:20,865 --> 00:25:22,543 So now there's no one in charge of orchids, 490 00:25:22,567 --> 00:25:24,558 chocolates or the thing that's made of ice. 491 00:25:24,636 --> 00:25:26,480 And my upper back itches, and it's itched all day, 492 00:25:26,504 --> 00:25:29,962 and I can't reach it. And Kevin had Greek food for lunch again! 493 00:25:33,678 --> 00:25:36,772 They say you should never mix business with pleasure. 494 00:25:36,848 --> 00:25:37,872 Really? 495 00:25:37,949 --> 00:25:41,749 Well, then explain to me how a putt-putt golf company operates. 496 00:25:46,858 --> 00:25:47,882 Yeah? 497 00:25:47,959 --> 00:25:49,620 The Pizza By Alfredo guy is here. 498 00:25:49,694 --> 00:25:50,971 You don't have to say it like that. 499 00:25:50,995 --> 00:25:52,223 I said it normal. 500 00:25:56,768 --> 00:25:58,167 Hey. Hey. 501 00:25:58,236 --> 00:26:00,670 $63.50, and that's not including tip. 502 00:26:00,738 --> 00:26:02,228 Right. I have a coupon, 503 00:26:02,307 --> 00:26:06,004 so half of $63.50 and half the tip on $63.50... 504 00:26:06,077 --> 00:26:09,012 Half-off coupons only apply to orders of two pizzas. 505 00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,810 Yeah, no, I told them on the phone I was ordering eight pizzas. 506 00:26:11,883 --> 00:26:13,360 I don't care what you told them on the phone. 507 00:26:13,384 --> 00:26:15,113 That's our policy. 508 00:26:15,186 --> 00:26:18,019 You didn't actually think that I was going to spend 60 bucks on pizza? 509 00:26:18,089 --> 00:26:19,351 It's not pizza. Okay. 510 00:26:19,424 --> 00:26:23,827 It doesn't say it anywhere on the coupon, and if it's your policy, 511 00:26:23,895 --> 00:26:25,886 it should say it on the coupon. 512 00:26:26,431 --> 00:26:27,989 What do you mean? 513 00:26:28,066 --> 00:26:29,090 Not my problem. 514 00:26:29,167 --> 00:26:30,634 It is your problem. 515 00:26:31,469 --> 00:26:36,202 That's no way to do business, okay? I ordered 516 00:26:36,274 --> 00:26:37,707 eight pizzas with a half-off coupon, 517 00:26:37,775 --> 00:26:41,142 so I would like eight pizzas for half-off. End of story. 518 00:26:41,212 --> 00:26:44,943 It's a great story. It's $63.50, and that's not including tip. 519 00:26:45,016 --> 00:26:46,506 I'm not giving that to you. 520 00:26:46,584 --> 00:26:48,609 Well, then you're not getting your pizzas. 521 00:26:48,686 --> 00:26:50,654 No. No! You're not... No! 522 00:26:50,722 --> 00:26:54,283 You are not going anywhere! You're going to stay here 523 00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:56,623 until we figure this out! What? 524 00:26:56,694 --> 00:27:01,757 You know what? This young man needs to learn that that's not how you treat people! 525 00:27:02,834 --> 00:27:04,199 I don't care if it's pizza! 526 00:27:04,268 --> 00:27:08,671 Good business is about respect and accountability and follow-through. 527 00:27:08,740 --> 00:27:10,503 You don't just make promises 528 00:27:10,575 --> 00:27:13,544 and pull the rug out from under somebody, do you? 529 00:27:13,611 --> 00:27:16,444 Dwight, please escort this young man into the conference room. 530 00:27:16,514 --> 00:27:17,758 Right now. Get into the conference room. 531 00:27:17,782 --> 00:27:19,393 I'm not going in there. Yeah, you are. Yeah, you are. 532 00:27:19,417 --> 00:27:22,262 And you will come out when you decide to give me a discount on the pizza. 533 00:27:22,286 --> 00:27:23,685 Please. Thank you. 534 00:27:24,389 --> 00:27:25,413 This is stupid. 535 00:27:25,490 --> 00:27:28,220 No, you don't even know what stupid is. 536 00:27:29,227 --> 00:27:32,162 It's about to get all stupid up in here! 537 00:27:45,576 --> 00:27:47,441 You find anything? 538 00:27:47,512 --> 00:27:50,003 We think it's a straightforward kidnapping. 539 00:27:50,615 --> 00:27:52,412 Stanley, could you look up accomplices? 540 00:27:52,483 --> 00:27:53,848 Why can't you guys do it? 541 00:27:53,918 --> 00:27:56,079 Because we're looking up jail time. 542 00:27:56,421 --> 00:27:57,979 Fine. 543 00:27:58,055 --> 00:27:59,113 I've seen this kid before. 544 00:27:59,190 --> 00:28:01,750 He's one of the kids that sneaks onto my farm and steals my hemp. 545 00:28:01,926 --> 00:28:05,453 Yeah, I know that guy. He's that farmer that grows really crappy weed. 546 00:28:13,371 --> 00:28:15,362 You ready to give me my discount now? 547 00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:16,532 No. 548 00:28:17,074 --> 00:28:19,019 Okay, what have you been doing in here this whole time? 549 00:28:19,043 --> 00:28:20,305 What kind of business is this? 550 00:28:20,378 --> 00:28:21,504 We're a paper company. 551 00:28:21,579 --> 00:28:23,323 The best paper company in the whole wide world, okay? 552 00:28:23,347 --> 00:28:25,372 All right, Dwight, knock it off. 553 00:28:26,584 --> 00:28:28,662 You'd better think about what you are doing, young man. 554 00:28:28,686 --> 00:28:30,264 You better think about what you're doing. 555 00:28:30,288 --> 00:28:34,816 No! I'm an adult. I don't have to think or do anything. 556 00:28:34,892 --> 00:28:38,259 You're a kid. You're a little, snot-nosed punk kid 557 00:28:38,329 --> 00:28:40,490 who thinks he's better than everybody else, 558 00:28:40,565 --> 00:28:41,998 because he's some hotshot. 559 00:28:42,066 --> 00:28:44,466 And you don't know anything about sales! 560 00:28:44,535 --> 00:28:46,560 So stop being a disrespectful little jerk, okay? 561 00:28:46,637 --> 00:28:47,695 Sales? 562 00:28:47,772 --> 00:28:50,384 Yes, sales. You sell pizza. Last time I checked, that's called sales. 563 00:28:50,408 --> 00:28:51,408 You're such a loser. 564 00:28:51,476 --> 00:28:52,519 What did you just call him? 565 00:28:52,543 --> 00:28:54,238 A loser. What did you say? 566 00:28:54,312 --> 00:28:55,472 A loser. What? 567 00:28:55,546 --> 00:28:56,843 A loser. What was that word? 568 00:28:56,914 --> 00:28:58,711 Stop getting him to say it! 569 00:28:59,183 --> 00:29:01,083 You just made this worse, a whole lot worse. 570 00:29:01,152 --> 00:29:02,449 I can make him talk, Michael. 571 00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:03,520 - Michael! - Michael! 572 00:29:03,588 --> 00:29:05,098 We are accomplices. I'm not going to jail for this. 573 00:29:05,122 --> 00:29:06,714 Stop talking all at once! 574 00:29:06,791 --> 00:29:07,917 You need to let him go. 575 00:29:07,992 --> 00:29:11,359 Let go of little jerk-boy before he has learned his lesson? 576 00:29:11,429 --> 00:29:13,021 Yes. You know what, Jim? 577 00:29:13,097 --> 00:29:16,999 The world would be a better place if people were held accountable for their actions. 578 00:29:17,068 --> 00:29:18,865 Yes, but not by kidnapping them. 579 00:29:18,936 --> 00:29:20,301 I'm not kidnapping him. 580 00:29:20,371 --> 00:29:22,669 I'm keeping him until I get what I want. 581 00:29:22,740 --> 00:29:23,832 As a hostage. 582 00:29:23,908 --> 00:29:24,985 I think you're over-thinking it. 583 00:29:25,009 --> 00:29:26,086 I think you're under-thinking it. 584 00:29:26,110 --> 00:29:27,737 Yes. Is Alfredo there? 585 00:29:29,213 --> 00:29:31,147 May I speak to a manager, then? 586 00:29:31,849 --> 00:29:35,945 Okay, could you tell the manager that I am keeping his delivery kid 587 00:29:36,020 --> 00:29:38,750 until I get my discount on the eight pizzas I ordered? 588 00:29:39,457 --> 00:29:41,652 Yes, I know it is not on the coupon. 589 00:29:42,593 --> 00:29:48,554 Also, I would like him to throw in two, three pizzas, 590 00:29:49,567 --> 00:29:51,034 just for our... Ransom. 591 00:29:51,102 --> 00:29:52,194 Trouble. 592 00:29:53,938 --> 00:29:55,906 Okay. All right. 593 00:29:57,408 --> 00:29:58,739 What did he say? 594 00:29:58,809 --> 00:29:59,833 He said no. 595 00:29:59,911 --> 00:30:01,105 So we should let him go. 596 00:30:01,178 --> 00:30:02,509 No. No. 597 00:30:02,580 --> 00:30:03,706 Okay. 598 00:30:03,781 --> 00:30:06,147 Listen up, kid, 599 00:30:06,851 --> 00:30:08,182 I don't like you, 600 00:30:08,252 --> 00:30:12,382 but because some town in Switzerland says so, you have rights. 601 00:30:17,495 --> 00:30:19,019 I have to hang these. 602 00:30:26,971 --> 00:30:28,666 Why are you looking at her like that? 603 00:30:28,739 --> 00:30:29,933 Hey! 604 00:30:40,918 --> 00:30:42,180 What's going on? 605 00:30:42,253 --> 00:30:44,364 Michael just called the pizza place with a list of demands. 606 00:30:44,388 --> 00:30:46,015 Mr. Overdramatic. What's up, Kevin? 607 00:30:46,090 --> 00:30:48,081 We're getting hungry out there. 608 00:30:49,193 --> 00:30:54,028 We're all accomplices now anyway, so we figured we might as well eat. 609 00:30:54,098 --> 00:30:59,001 We would like to order some good pizza from Alfredo's Pizza Cafe 610 00:30:59,503 --> 00:31:03,633 while we wait for the hostage situation with the bad pizza to end. 611 00:31:06,777 --> 00:31:10,213 I needed another hour. It could have been done in another hour. 612 00:31:10,281 --> 00:31:12,010 I think it looks good. 613 00:31:12,083 --> 00:31:14,051 That's why you're not in charge, Meredith. 614 00:31:19,223 --> 00:31:22,283 Here you are, my dear. One thing made of ice. 615 00:31:25,162 --> 00:31:26,561 How did you... 616 00:31:27,865 --> 00:31:29,298 Where'd you... 617 00:31:29,367 --> 00:31:32,131 It's just ice. It'll melt all over the floor. 618 00:31:32,203 --> 00:31:33,513 Will you help me put it over there? 619 00:31:33,537 --> 00:31:35,061 Yes, I will. Okay. 620 00:31:35,139 --> 00:31:36,299 Excuse me. 621 00:31:37,475 --> 00:31:38,567 I stole it. 622 00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:44,279 Thank God. 623 00:31:44,348 --> 00:31:48,250 Michael? Ryan wants to introduce the branch managers in a few minutes. 624 00:31:48,319 --> 00:31:50,378 You just have to wave and introduce yourself. 625 00:31:50,454 --> 00:31:52,752 I'll just wave and introduce myself. 626 00:31:52,823 --> 00:31:54,188 Hey, quick question. 627 00:31:54,258 --> 00:31:55,282 Yeah? 628 00:31:55,359 --> 00:31:57,259 If I take a pizza, 629 00:31:57,328 --> 00:32:01,094 do you think you could take some sodas and some napkins up to the roof? 630 00:32:01,165 --> 00:32:03,065 I'm all over it. Good. 631 00:32:03,968 --> 00:32:05,731 What do we got here? 632 00:32:05,803 --> 00:32:07,395 Good pizza. Yeah? 633 00:32:07,471 --> 00:32:09,462 Cheese? Or do we have other flavors? 634 00:32:09,540 --> 00:32:10,632 Different stuff. 635 00:32:10,708 --> 00:32:12,505 Which one is this? Perfect. 636 00:32:15,246 --> 00:32:18,010 Do you remember what you said to me on my first day at work, 637 00:32:18,082 --> 00:32:19,660 just before you walked me over to my desk? 638 00:32:19,684 --> 00:32:20,878 Yeah. 639 00:32:21,919 --> 00:32:25,116 "Enjoy this moment, because you're never going to go back to this time" 640 00:32:25,189 --> 00:32:27,589 "before you met your desk-mate, Dwight." 641 00:32:27,992 --> 00:32:31,291 And that's why I knew. You? 642 00:32:31,362 --> 00:32:33,830 You came up to my desk and you said, 643 00:32:33,898 --> 00:32:38,801 "This might sound weird, and there's no reason for me to know this," 644 00:32:38,869 --> 00:32:41,963 "but that mixed-berry yogurt you're about to eat has expired." 645 00:32:42,039 --> 00:32:44,200 That was the moment that you knew you liked me? 646 00:32:44,275 --> 00:32:45,367 Yup. 647 00:32:45,443 --> 00:32:46,705 Wow. 648 00:32:48,746 --> 00:32:50,057 Can we make it a different moment? 649 00:32:50,081 --> 00:32:51,207 Nope. 650 00:32:53,117 --> 00:32:54,607 Can I start talking? 651 00:32:55,786 --> 00:32:59,586 Is this thing on? Give me a signal when you want me to start. 652 00:33:01,826 --> 00:33:06,490 And now from my old hometown, Scranton, Pennsylvania, my former boss, 653 00:33:06,564 --> 00:33:08,191 Michael Scott. 654 00:33:08,799 --> 00:33:10,198 Hey, I just think you should know 655 00:33:10,267 --> 00:33:13,259 that one of my salesmen beat your stupid computer. 656 00:33:13,337 --> 00:33:14,964 So take that, 657 00:33:17,475 --> 00:33:19,033 Always a jokester. 658 00:33:21,645 --> 00:33:23,840 How about that image? Crystal clear. 659 00:33:25,316 --> 00:33:29,184 If anyone out there is listening, I am being held here against my will. 660 00:33:29,253 --> 00:33:30,447 I'm a minor. 661 00:33:34,458 --> 00:33:35,482 Ow! 662 00:33:35,559 --> 00:33:36,753 What are you doing? 663 00:33:36,827 --> 00:33:38,727 You said your upper back itched. 664 00:33:38,796 --> 00:33:40,354 I didn't ask you to scratch it. 665 00:33:40,431 --> 00:33:42,791 Look, Angela, I know this is weird because we work together, 666 00:33:42,833 --> 00:33:47,463 and because up until and possibly including now I've repulsed you, 667 00:33:47,538 --> 00:33:48,869 but I like you. 668 00:33:48,939 --> 00:33:50,634 I'm not dating you. 669 00:33:52,977 --> 00:33:55,878 So Angela is stubborn as a mule. 670 00:33:57,381 --> 00:34:01,442 She's giving off fairly strong vibes that she's not interested. 671 00:34:05,589 --> 00:34:07,318 But do I like her or not? 672 00:34:08,526 --> 00:34:12,792 Because if I like her, then I can't back down. 673 00:34:14,765 --> 00:34:17,996 If you're going number one, you've got 10 more seconds. 674 00:34:20,771 --> 00:34:22,102 Hey, have you seen Jim? 675 00:34:22,173 --> 00:34:25,574 I guess he wanted to get out of here before the cops find out. 676 00:34:28,813 --> 00:34:31,907 Hey, what are you doing? I'm just scaring him. 677 00:34:31,982 --> 00:34:34,594 Now the trick is to make him think you're going to do something to him. 678 00:34:34,618 --> 00:34:35,812 I can hear you, man. Shut up, 679 00:34:35,886 --> 00:34:37,230 or I'm going to punch you in the throat! 680 00:34:37,254 --> 00:34:38,812 Hey, hey, hey, stop it. Stop it. 681 00:34:38,889 --> 00:34:41,187 No. God. Oh, my God. 682 00:34:42,493 --> 00:34:46,088 Oh, my God. Oh, no. No. 683 00:34:47,631 --> 00:34:49,758 I kidnapped a kid. You had to. 684 00:34:49,834 --> 00:34:51,597 What other choice did you have? 685 00:34:51,669 --> 00:34:53,796 I could have paid for the pizza. 686 00:34:53,871 --> 00:34:56,339 Well, yeah. 687 00:34:58,576 --> 00:35:02,034 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 688 00:35:04,815 --> 00:35:05,815 This is Michael. 689 00:35:05,883 --> 00:35:07,003 Hello, Michael. This is Ryan. 690 00:35:07,051 --> 00:35:08,609 First off, thanks for the shout out. 691 00:35:08,686 --> 00:35:10,313 You're breaking up. I can't hear you. 692 00:35:10,387 --> 00:35:12,480 And why is there a kid on your webcam 693 00:35:12,556 --> 00:35:14,820 saying that he's being held against his... 694 00:35:15,659 --> 00:35:17,024 Okay. 695 00:35:17,094 --> 00:35:20,393 I want you to go in there 696 00:35:20,464 --> 00:35:24,457 and pay him for the pizzas and give him a generous tip, 697 00:35:25,603 --> 00:35:26,797 no more than 10%%. 698 00:35:26,871 --> 00:35:28,031 What will you do? 699 00:35:28,105 --> 00:35:30,835 I will open the door. 700 00:35:31,642 --> 00:35:32,802 Yeah. 701 00:35:32,877 --> 00:35:34,970 And hopefully he will walk out. 702 00:35:37,481 --> 00:35:39,574 And the rest is out of our hands. 703 00:35:40,985 --> 00:35:43,647 So I'm paying full price? 704 00:35:43,721 --> 00:35:44,813 Yes. 705 00:35:45,856 --> 00:35:49,223 Here we go, 65. You know what? 706 00:35:50,361 --> 00:35:51,726 Here's two more. 707 00:35:56,734 --> 00:35:58,668 See you. Drive safely. 708 00:36:01,138 --> 00:36:02,628 Okay. 709 00:36:03,374 --> 00:36:04,773 Now what? 710 00:36:04,842 --> 00:36:07,572 Now we wait and hope that nothing happens. 711 00:36:08,812 --> 00:36:11,508 All right. I assume I'm going to be reimbursed for the pizzas? 712 00:36:11,582 --> 00:36:13,812 Not now, Dwight. Please, not the time. 713 00:36:16,387 --> 00:36:18,378 A toast. 714 00:36:18,455 --> 00:36:20,184 I'm gonna make it good. 715 00:36:21,425 --> 00:36:23,518 To avoiding a class-two felony charge. 716 00:36:30,868 --> 00:36:33,462 Hello? Hey. Hang on a second. 717 00:36:40,110 --> 00:36:42,601 Hello. Hang on. 718 00:36:53,390 --> 00:36:56,359 If you change your mind 719 00:36:57,962 --> 00:36:59,691 I'll be first in line 720 00:36:59,763 --> 00:37:04,325 Honey, I'm still free Take a chance on me 721 00:37:04,401 --> 00:37:06,699 If you need me, let me know 722 00:37:06,770 --> 00:37:08,397 Going to be around 723 00:37:08,706 --> 00:37:11,231 If you got no place to go 724 00:37:11,308 --> 00:37:15,768 If you're feeling down, if you're all alone 725 00:37:15,846 --> 00:37:18,212 When the pretty birds have flown 726 00:37:18,282 --> 00:37:22,946 Honey, I'm still free Take a chance on me 727 00:37:23,020 --> 00:37:27,457 Going to do my very best And that ain't no lie 728 00:37:27,524 --> 00:37:31,984 If you put me to the test, if you let me try 729 00:37:32,062 --> 00:37:36,294 Take a chance on me 730 00:37:36,367 --> 00:37:38,358 That's all I ask of you, Angela. 731 00:37:39,036 --> 00:37:44,633 Take a chance, take a chance 732 00:37:46,043 --> 00:37:48,568 On 733 00:37:48,645 --> 00:37:53,275 Me 734 00:38:05,662 --> 00:38:07,596 - Hey, how'd it go? - Yeah. What did she say? 735 00:38:07,664 --> 00:38:09,291 I don't know yet. 736 00:38:09,366 --> 00:38:10,390 I have to call you back. 737 00:38:10,467 --> 00:38:11,511 Come on, you gotta give us something. 738 00:38:11,535 --> 00:38:12,968 I'll call you back. 739 00:38:15,239 --> 00:38:17,173 I have to go clean up after the party. 740 00:38:35,225 --> 00:38:37,216 What a horrible day. 741 00:38:41,865 --> 00:38:45,824 Well, I need to get the horrible taste of this pizza out of my mouth. 742 00:38:47,237 --> 00:38:49,034 I'd really like some sushi. 743 00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:52,671 I was hoping that I would have New York-style sushi today, 744 00:38:52,743 --> 00:38:54,836 and you know what? 745 00:38:54,912 --> 00:38:56,709 What? I'm gonna get it. 746 00:38:57,281 --> 00:38:59,272 Coopers has calamari. 747 00:38:59,349 --> 00:39:02,716 No. There's only one place to get authentic New York-style sushi. 748 00:39:02,786 --> 00:39:04,253 Tokyo? New York. 749 00:39:04,955 --> 00:39:06,855 Wanna go? Yes. 750 00:39:06,924 --> 00:39:07,924 All right. You drive. 751 00:39:07,991 --> 00:39:09,219 Okay. 752 00:39:09,293 --> 00:39:10,351 Nice. 753 00:39:10,427 --> 00:39:11,792 Here we go. 754 00:39:11,862 --> 00:39:13,352 Mmm. 755 00:39:13,430 --> 00:39:15,364 Perfect. I'm sorry. 756 00:39:15,432 --> 00:39:17,332 You guys are going to have to leave. 757 00:39:17,401 --> 00:39:19,460 Hey. You know what? 758 00:39:23,307 --> 00:39:24,604 Come on, come on, let's go. 759 00:39:33,050 --> 00:39:35,917 Hey, you're the Scranton guy? 760 00:39:35,986 --> 00:39:36,986 Guilty. 761 00:39:37,054 --> 00:39:39,352 I liked your statement tonight. 762 00:39:39,690 --> 00:39:41,089 Thanks. 763 00:39:41,825 --> 00:39:44,419 This is the guy that beat the computer. 764 00:39:44,495 --> 00:39:47,760 Very cool. Yeah, it was funny to see Ryan all embarrassed by that. 765 00:39:47,831 --> 00:39:49,765 Yeah. Yeah. 766 00:39:49,833 --> 00:39:51,095 See you later. 767 00:39:52,102 --> 00:39:53,194 Later on. 768 00:39:54,905 --> 00:40:00,172 I'm Ryan and tonight didn't go the way that I thought it would, 769 00:40:00,244 --> 00:40:04,874 because it didn't work out for me, and I'm very embarrassed. 770 00:40:04,948 --> 00:40:06,779 I have egg all over my face. 771 00:40:07,084 --> 00:40:08,346 I'm 12 years old. 772 00:40:08,418 --> 00:40:11,114 I spent so much time in Scranton, but I never sold any paper. 773 00:40:11,188 --> 00:40:14,157 I never sold any paper because I'm an idiot. 774 00:40:14,224 --> 00:40:16,886 I started a fire with my cheese pita. 775 00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:19,019 I dated an Indian girl. 776 00:40:19,096 --> 00:40:20,893 I started a fire. 777 00:40:20,964 --> 00:40:21,964 I started a fire. 778 00:40:22,032 --> 00:40:23,124 Now I've got a beard. 779 00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:24,711 And I got a new suit, and I'm your boss. 780 00:40:24,735 --> 00:40:26,375 I get everything I want 'cause I'm very... 781 00:40:26,403 --> 00:40:28,098 I'm hot. I'm so hot. 782 00:40:28,172 --> 00:40:29,366 That's why everybody... 783 00:40:29,439 --> 00:40:30,701 I didn't get... 784 00:40:30,774 --> 00:40:32,264 I don't understand that. 785 00:40:32,342 --> 00:40:34,469 That's part of it, just a... 786 00:40:51,161 --> 00:40:52,423 Wanna head back? 787 00:40:53,797 --> 00:40:55,594 Yeah, let's go. 788 00:40:55,935 --> 00:41:05,935 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.