1
00:00:01,707 --> 00:00:04,071
Dunder Mifflin.
This is Rolando.

2
00:00:04,241 --> 00:00:07,036
Oh, yes. She's been
expecting your call.

3
00:00:10,074 --> 00:00:11,472
Yeah?

4
00:00:11,541 --> 00:00:13,836
Karen?
He's on line 1.

5
00:00:13,907 --> 00:00:15,805
Thanks, Ro.

6
00:00:17,141 --> 00:00:19,698
Hey. We finally connected.
How's Scranton?

7
00:00:19,774 --> 00:00:22,706
I am the regional manager of
Dunder Mifflin, Utica branch.

8
00:00:23,174 --> 00:00:25,901
Turns out it's a pretty easy gig
when your boss isn't an idiot

9
00:00:25,974 --> 00:00:28,497
and your boyfriend's not in
love with somebody else.

10
00:00:28,573 --> 00:00:31,369
Look, all I'm saying is it
would be a great opportunity

11
00:00:31,441 --> 00:00:35,532
and we'd love to have you come aboard.
So think about it, okay?

12
00:00:37,074 --> 00:00:39,006
Okay. Bye.

13
00:00:39,074 --> 00:00:43,631
Look, for the record, a certain
Scranton salesman approached me, okay?

14
00:00:44,074 --> 00:00:45,097
This is perfect.

15
00:00:45,174 --> 00:00:46,231
He looks like your twin.

16
00:00:46,307 --> 00:00:49,568
This is a dummy, à la
Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

17
00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:52,300
We have tied a string to the
wrist, which goes to the door.

18
00:00:52,374 --> 00:00:54,737
When somebody opens the
door, the hand goes down,

19
00:00:55,874 --> 00:00:59,272
Hits the remote, turns on the tape
recorder, which is me snoring.

20
00:00:59,341 --> 00:01:03,103
Now, nobody knows whether I
am here or whether I am gone.

21
00:01:03,174 --> 00:01:06,368
I'll know. But you
will not tell anyone.

22
00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:08,583
I won't need to because we'll
be together playing hooky.

23
00:01:08,607 --> 00:01:09,606
Well...
Yeah!

24
00:01:09,674 --> 00:01:12,663
Sometimes. Most of the time I
will be with Ryan. Or Darryl.

25
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:13,967
Yes.

26
00:01:14,107 --> 00:01:16,039
Oh, good, good.
Stanley. First victim.

27
00:01:16,107 --> 00:01:17,504
This is what I want you to do.

28
00:01:17,573 --> 00:01:19,835
Go out, come back in.
We're gonna hide.

29
00:01:19,907 --> 00:01:21,750
I want you to tell me
if this looks like me, okay?

30
00:01:21,774 --> 00:01:23,501
I don't understand why
sleeping at your desk

31
00:01:23,573 --> 00:01:24,750
is better than you
not being here.

32
00:01:24,774 --> 00:01:26,706
Just go out and come back in.

33
00:01:26,907 --> 00:01:31,703
I got an offer from Utica for more money.
And I'm going to take it.

34
00:01:31,874 --> 00:01:32,965
What?

35
00:01:34,465 --> 00:01:40,532
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

36
00:02:07,940 --> 00:02:10,372
Hi, everyone, can I have
your attention, please?

37
00:02:10,607 --> 00:02:15,972
I just thought you all should know that
Stanley Hudson is planning on leaving us

38
00:02:16,041 --> 00:02:18,269
because our old friend,
Karen from Utica,

39
00:02:18,341 --> 00:02:21,068
is going to give him
more money to work there.

40
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,936
Okay.
No. No, no, no!

41
00:02:24,374 --> 00:02:26,805
No! You completely
misinterpreted my tone!

42
00:02:27,507 --> 00:02:29,098
This is a horrible thing.

43
00:02:29,174 --> 00:02:34,072
Clearly, Karen is trying to get
back at us because Jim dumped her.

44
00:02:34,141 --> 00:02:35,549
Oh, I don't think
that's what's happening.

45
00:02:35,573 --> 00:02:38,096
Okay, well,
smarty pants, then why?

46
00:02:38,174 --> 00:02:41,628
Why is she trying
to take Stanley from us?

47
00:02:41,707 --> 00:02:43,468
I think it's because
of my sales record.

48
00:02:43,540 --> 00:02:46,631
That could not possibly be it.

49
00:02:46,707 --> 00:02:50,662
You cannot take the hilarious
black guy from the office.

50
00:02:51,207 --> 00:02:54,139
Stanley is part of what makes
this branch so extraordinary.

51
00:02:54,207 --> 00:02:59,139
The bluesy wisdom, the sassy
remarks, the crossword puzzles,

52
00:02:59,207 --> 00:03:02,695
the smile, those big,
watery, red eyes.

53
00:03:02,774 --> 00:03:05,104
I don't know how George Bush
did it when Colin Powell left.

54
00:03:05,274 --> 00:03:08,831
And if Utica thinks that they
are going to poach Stanley,

55
00:03:08,907 --> 00:03:10,305
they have another thing coming.

56
00:03:16,807 --> 00:03:18,773
How can I get you to stay?
Money.

57
00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:22,000
Yeah. We all
want money.

58
00:03:22,674 --> 00:03:25,435
But there is none
in the budget. So,

59
00:03:25,507 --> 00:03:26,905
tell me why
you're really leaving.

60
00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:28,338
Money.

61
00:03:28,674 --> 00:03:30,503
Mo' money, mo'
problems, Stanley.

62
00:03:30,573 --> 00:03:34,869
You of all people should know that.
Let me ask you this, if I were...

63
00:03:34,940 --> 00:03:36,405
Money.
Okay.

64
00:03:38,174 --> 00:03:40,366
Oscar, did you bring it?

65
00:03:42,974 --> 00:03:45,405
To be Edwardian.
His best work.

66
00:03:45,707 --> 00:03:48,173
Okay. Well, I have the tablecloth.
Don't forget the flatware.

67
00:03:48,241 --> 00:03:49,331
Sure thing, Pam.
Can't wait.

68
00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:53,595
Oscar, Toby and I are founding
members of the Finer Things Club.

69
00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:57,602
We meet once a month to discuss
books and art, celebrate culture

70
00:03:57,674 --> 00:03:59,367
in a very civilized way.

71
00:03:59,874 --> 00:04:04,738
Sometimes the debate can get heated,
but we're always respectful.

72
00:04:05,207 --> 00:04:08,900
There is no paper, no plastic
and no work talk allowed.

73
00:04:10,974 --> 00:04:12,633
It's very exclusive.

74
00:04:12,874 --> 00:04:14,430
Besides having sex with men,

75
00:04:14,507 --> 00:04:18,065
I would say the Finer Things Club
is the gayest thing about me.

76
00:04:20,107 --> 00:04:22,971
So tell me again why I can't
be a part of your club?

77
00:04:23,041 --> 00:04:24,359
Because some people
think that you

78
00:04:24,407 --> 00:04:27,601
monopolize the conversation
by trying to be funny.

79
00:04:28,107 --> 00:04:30,299
Oscar?
Some people.

80
00:04:30,373 --> 00:04:31,464
Hello?

81
00:04:31,540 --> 00:04:33,335
Filippellers!
How are they hanging?

82
00:04:33,407 --> 00:04:35,464
Michael. Michael. To the left?
To the right?

83
00:04:35,540 --> 00:04:38,438
Listen, I'm... Okay, enough small talk.
Go ahead.

84
00:04:38,507 --> 00:04:39,530
You called me.

85
00:04:39,607 --> 00:04:41,436
Yes. Listen.

86
00:04:41,674 --> 00:04:42,697
Um...

87
00:04:42,774 --> 00:04:44,967
You cannot tear Stanley
from his family like this.

88
00:04:45,041 --> 00:04:47,506
I'm pretty sure his family
is coming with him.

89
00:04:47,573 --> 00:04:48,766
No, his work family.

90
00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:53,000
Look, this is very hard for me, but
I am going to give you my best man.

91
00:04:53,074 --> 00:04:54,505
You may have Toby.

92
00:04:54,573 --> 00:04:56,233
Toby's not a salesperson.

93
00:04:56,306 --> 00:05:00,966
You can train him. He's very, very
smart and funny and charming.

94
00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:06,397
You know, I can't do it.
Toby is the worst.

95
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:11,735
That was a bluff. Listen, if you
are going to poach one of my guys,

96
00:05:11,807 --> 00:05:13,363
I am going to poach
one of yours.

97
00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:15,599
Ooh.
Goodbye, Michael.

98
00:05:15,674 --> 00:05:16,935
Okay. Goodbye.

99
00:05:17,007 --> 00:05:18,768
Wait! Wait! Karen!

100
00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:22,397
Could you transfer me to one of your
salespeople, please? Your best one.

101
00:05:25,507 --> 00:05:29,167
I have Ben Nugent on the line.
He is the top salesman in Utica.

102
00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:31,263
Hi, Ben. Michael Scott.
Hi, Michael.

103
00:05:31,340 --> 00:05:33,636
I am going to cut right
to the chase here.

104
00:05:33,707 --> 00:05:37,434
Do you like magic? Because
I am a genie in a bottle

105
00:05:37,507 --> 00:05:39,973
and I am going to grant
you three wishes,

106
00:05:40,041 --> 00:05:44,735
to move to Scranton, to have a great
job and to be my best friend.

107
00:05:44,807 --> 00:05:47,171
Aren't you the guy that hit
the woman with your car?

108
00:05:48,340 --> 00:05:50,102
Get out.

109
00:05:50,407 --> 00:05:56,170
Yeah. I also saved her life, but
I guess that's not as grabby.

110
00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:59,297
Everyone says Scranton branch
is worse than Camden.

111
00:05:59,373 --> 00:06:01,999
Didn't everyone from Stamford
quit like immediately?

112
00:06:02,074 --> 00:06:04,471
No, I fired them
and you're next.

113
00:06:07,940 --> 00:06:09,633
So, what do you say?

114
00:06:09,707 --> 00:06:10,934
Seriously?

115
00:06:11,007 --> 00:06:14,803
What is that guy talking about?
Scranton is not lame.

116
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:19,203
Scranton is the cool, fun branch.
We're like Animal House.

117
00:06:20,874 --> 00:06:25,272
Found him! Jim!
We're getting crapped on.

118
00:06:25,340 --> 00:06:28,306
Word is our branch sucks and we
have to do something about it.

119
00:06:28,373 --> 00:06:30,249
So what are you going to do?
What are we going to do?

120
00:06:30,273 --> 00:06:33,138
We are going to make a monster
sale is what we're going to do.

121
00:06:33,206 --> 00:06:35,036
Corcoran dropped Staples.
Did they?

122
00:06:35,107 --> 00:06:38,869
Yes, they did. Oh, yes they did
and we are going to murder it.

123
00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:43,895
You, me, Dwight are going to jump in my PT
Cruiser, we are going to crush this sale.

124
00:06:43,974 --> 00:06:47,406
We are going to prove...
What the hell is that music?

125
00:06:47,473 --> 00:06:49,302
It's Vivaldi.
For Finer Things.

126
00:06:49,373 --> 00:06:51,566
That's the problem.
That's the problem.

127
00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:56,005
We need rock n' roll, Pam.
Rock n' roll. All right?

128
00:06:56,074 --> 00:06:59,597
Oh, my God.

129
00:07:02,041 --> 00:07:04,268
That's why people are leaving.

130
00:07:05,173 --> 00:07:06,172
I...

131
00:07:07,340 --> 00:07:09,135
I have no words.

132
00:07:21,874 --> 00:07:23,567
We just passed
the exit for Corcoran.

133
00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:26,128
What? What?
We did?

134
00:07:26,206 --> 00:07:30,105
Surprise! Yeah!

135
00:07:30,173 --> 00:07:32,230
Look at his face!
Look at his face!

136
00:07:32,306 --> 00:07:33,383
What are we doing?
Egg dripping.

137
00:07:33,407 --> 00:07:34,430
So psyched.

138
00:07:34,507 --> 00:07:36,405
What are doing, Dwight?
What are we doing?

139
00:07:36,473 --> 00:07:39,439
Oh, well, gee, Jim, I don't know. I
guess there's no sales call today.

140
00:07:39,507 --> 00:07:43,837
We are going on a panty raid
to Utica is what we're doing.

141
00:07:43,907 --> 00:07:45,702
We're going to Utica?
Uh-huh!

142
00:07:47,041 --> 00:07:50,529
I'm not going to Utica right now.
Yes, you are. Oh, buckle up, Jim.

143
00:07:50,607 --> 00:07:52,596
No. We are going
to make Karen wish

144
00:07:52,674 --> 00:07:54,640
that she had never
been dumped by you.

145
00:07:55,140 --> 00:07:59,573
Utica! Utica! Utica!
Utica! Utica! Utica!

146
00:08:01,407 --> 00:08:02,406
Utica.
Utica.

147
00:08:02,507 --> 00:08:04,336
In your face!
Yow!

148
00:08:04,407 --> 00:08:08,863
I can't believe you guys. I'm not going
to go further piss off my ex-girlfriend.

149
00:08:08,940 --> 00:08:10,683
Are you calling Karen?
No, I'm not calling Karen.

150
00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:13,502
He's lying.
Yeah. Get it.

151
00:08:13,573 --> 00:08:15,732
What are you doing?
Stop it! Dwight!

152
00:08:17,473 --> 00:08:18,700
Are you kidding me?

153
00:08:18,774 --> 00:08:20,865
No communication with
the outside world, Jim.

154
00:08:20,940 --> 00:08:23,462
Had to be done.
It had to be done.

155
00:08:23,907 --> 00:08:25,429
Well, that kind of sucks

156
00:08:25,507 --> 00:08:28,667
because it had all the photos
of my brother's new baby on it.

157
00:08:28,740 --> 00:08:30,603
So...

158
00:08:30,674 --> 00:08:34,333
Oh, that is too bad.
Shoot.

159
00:08:43,874 --> 00:08:47,067
Okay. Hey, Dwight, he found it.

160
00:08:47,140 --> 00:08:49,049
You know what? I'm just going
to call a cab from here.

161
00:08:49,073 --> 00:08:51,835
All right. You're going to
miss the best prank ever.

162
00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:57,405
All right. Wait, what are
you planning on doing?

163
00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:00,516
Do you really want to know?

164
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:01,563
Oh, God.

165
00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:04,071
Follow me. Come here.
Here's what we brought.

166
00:09:04,140 --> 00:09:06,402
We brought uniforms
from the warehouse.

167
00:09:06,473 --> 00:09:07,996
I brought Silly String.

168
00:09:08,073 --> 00:09:11,006
Dwight brought gasoline and chunks
of rubber to make stink bombs.

169
00:09:11,073 --> 00:09:13,699
Or real bombs. No, no.
Not real bombs.

170
00:09:13,774 --> 00:09:15,637
Yeah, come on.
It will be so bad ass.

171
00:09:15,707 --> 00:09:18,502
Oh, maybe. I don't know.
I don't know.

172
00:09:18,573 --> 00:09:20,869
It could be bad ass.
It will. No. No.

173
00:09:20,940 --> 00:09:23,201
Yeah, it will. No, absolutely
we're not doing this.

174
00:09:23,273 --> 00:09:26,706
Come on. I already filled the bottles with
the gas. It's going to be so bad ass.

175
00:09:26,774 --> 00:09:30,171
Are you kidding me? We've been driving around
with this in the trunk the whole time?

176
00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:32,866
Teach her to offer
Stanley more money.

177
00:09:34,473 --> 00:09:40,030
So, the deal was Dwight doesn't blow
anything up and I wear a costume.

178
00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:43,804
And a mustache.

179
00:09:46,473 --> 00:09:49,337
So, why did you
and Karen break up?

180
00:09:49,407 --> 00:09:51,134
Was it the sex?
What?

181
00:09:51,206 --> 00:09:52,516
I can't imagine
the sex being bad.

182
00:09:52,540 --> 00:09:54,182
I mean, her body is awesome.
Okay, you know what?

183
00:09:54,206 --> 00:09:57,001
Why don't we play that alphabet
game that you were talking about?

184
00:09:57,073 --> 00:10:00,870
Okay, I will start. A.

185
00:10:00,940 --> 00:10:04,269
A, my name is Alan
and my wife's name is Alice

186
00:10:04,340 --> 00:10:08,432
We live in Alaska and we sell...

187
00:10:08,507 --> 00:10:11,166
Damn it.
What can we sell?

188
00:10:11,306 --> 00:10:13,449
Doesn't matter. I'm trying to
think of what we can sell.

189
00:10:13,473 --> 00:10:15,405
It doesn't matter.

190
00:10:15,473 --> 00:10:21,372
What is that? That sound. The air
conditioning leaking or something?

191
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:23,770
That doesn't make sense.
Couldn't be.

192
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:25,305
What is that?

193
00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:30,105
Dwight, are you peeing?

194
00:10:30,173 --> 00:10:31,772
I'm peeing in this empty can.
Oh, my God!

195
00:10:31,807 --> 00:10:33,830
Oh, come on, man. That
is disgusting, Dwight!

196
00:10:33,907 --> 00:10:36,182
You said we couldn't make any more stops.
I really had to go.

197
00:10:36,206 --> 00:10:37,449
Michael, watch the road!
Oh, God!

198
00:10:37,473 --> 00:10:39,098
Hey, you're making me spray!
Oh, my God!

199
00:10:39,173 --> 00:10:42,196
I'm going to kill you, man!
Michael, Michael, pull over!

200
00:10:42,273 --> 00:10:43,750
That is just so disgusting!
Pull over.

201
00:10:43,774 --> 00:10:45,501
I think I cut
my penis on the lid.

202
00:10:46,173 --> 00:10:50,367
Can you imagine a life where all you have
to do is summer in the Italian countryside?

203
00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:55,532
I know, right? I just want to go and
look at art and swim in the Adriatic.

204
00:10:55,774 --> 00:10:59,467
And spend time with George Emerson.
That's what I would do.

205
00:10:59,674 --> 00:11:01,716
I mean, he's the best male
protagonist we've read, right?

206
00:11:01,740 --> 00:11:05,933
Totally. I mean, come on. Such a
free spirit. What are you doing?

207
00:11:06,006 --> 00:11:09,564
Just came to discuss my favorite E.M.
Forster novel.

208
00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:15,202
Pam, these finger sandwiches look
finger-licking delicious, Pam.

209
00:11:15,273 --> 00:11:18,171
I'm sorry, Andy,
but this is a closed club.

210
00:11:21,939 --> 00:11:26,372
The Finer Things Club is the most
exclusive club in this office.

211
00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:28,736
Naturally, it's where
I need to be.

212
00:11:28,807 --> 00:11:33,102
The Party Planning Committee is my
backup and Kevin's band is my safety.

213
00:11:33,173 --> 00:11:34,264
Fine.

214
00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:39,297
I'll just...

215
00:11:39,373 --> 00:11:44,806
Sit here in the common area
and read my book,

216
00:11:44,873 --> 00:11:47,203
which just happens to be the
very same book you're reading.

217
00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:50,171
All right, just know you're
not in the Finer Things Club.

218
00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:52,331
Why can't I be in the club?

219
00:11:53,540 --> 00:11:56,506
I can't believe we're here. I
can't believe this is happening.

220
00:11:56,607 --> 00:11:57,970
Believe it.

221
00:11:58,040 --> 00:11:59,404
Afro wig?
Do you want the afro wig?

222
00:11:59,473 --> 00:12:01,405
No. Michael,
I'm not leaving the car.

223
00:12:01,473 --> 00:12:03,530
Oh, God. All right, Dwight?
Yeah.

224
00:12:03,607 --> 00:12:05,405
Here's how it's going to go down.
You and I...

225
00:12:06,173 --> 00:12:07,696
Guy's
going by. Shh.

226
00:12:08,273 --> 00:12:11,364
You and I are going to sneak inside,
pretend that we are warehouse workers.

227
00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:13,962
Then we will Silly String
the bejesus out of the place.

228
00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:17,632
And if we have to defend ourselves, I
will stab the security guard in the eye

229
00:12:17,707 --> 00:12:21,002
with a jumbo chalk. No. No,
you won't do that. Nope.

230
00:12:21,140 --> 00:12:23,470
Then I'll grind up the jumbo
chalk and blow it in his eyes.

231
00:12:23,540 --> 00:12:26,165
Dwight, nothing with the eyes.
Please?

232
00:12:27,807 --> 00:12:29,136
Okay, Jim.

233
00:12:30,073 --> 00:12:33,005
Oh, my God, that's her. That's her.
Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go.

234
00:12:33,073 --> 00:12:35,539
Move. Move. Move. Move.
Move. Shut up.

235
00:12:35,607 --> 00:12:37,245
This is the dumbest thing
we've ever done.

236
00:12:47,306 --> 00:12:49,636
I think it's interesting
how Forster uses Italy

237
00:12:49,707 --> 00:12:52,900
to represent sexuality
and passion

238
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:57,531
and that also brought up themes of,
you know, fate and coincidence

239
00:12:57,607 --> 00:13:00,004
and Lucy's torn between
these two things.

240
00:13:00,073 --> 00:13:02,232
She's torn between
passion and convention.

241
00:13:02,306 --> 00:13:03,670
Damn it.

242
00:13:04,707 --> 00:13:06,070
It just...

243
00:13:09,973 --> 00:13:11,701
To be making the case
for passion

244
00:13:11,773 --> 00:13:13,796
in Edwardian times
I thought was...

245
00:13:13,873 --> 00:13:15,567
Yes! Got it.

246
00:13:18,507 --> 00:13:19,506
Damn it.

247
00:13:21,306 --> 00:13:26,170
Made him sort of ahead of his time as a
writer. Very brave choice, I thought, also.

248
00:13:26,540 --> 00:13:31,029
And George's youthfulness,
his freedom

249
00:13:32,173 --> 00:13:35,969
Evokes feelings...

250
00:13:39,873 --> 00:13:41,362
What are you microwaving?

251
00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:42,701
Popcorn.

252
00:13:42,773 --> 00:13:45,205
Why don't you use the microwave
in the kitchen, Phyllis?

253
00:13:45,273 --> 00:13:48,467
Someone needs to clean it.
It smells like popcorn.

254
00:13:55,340 --> 00:13:57,568
So, Stanley, are you
really out of here?

255
00:13:57,640 --> 00:13:59,469
Yeah. Looks that way.

256
00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:03,639
I'm going to miss you, man.

257
00:14:03,707 --> 00:14:09,003
You've been like an uncle to me.
Like a kind old Uncle Remus.

258
00:14:10,306 --> 00:14:12,033
I want to stay in touch.

259
00:14:16,973 --> 00:14:18,371
We are in the stairwell.

260
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,338
We're climbing some stairs.

261
00:14:22,906 --> 00:14:24,583
I am breathing heavily.
Okay, you know what?

262
00:14:24,607 --> 00:14:27,505
You really don't need to be updating
me as much as you're updating me.

263
00:14:27,573 --> 00:14:30,732
There's a guy. There's a guy.
There's a security guard coming by.

264
00:14:30,873 --> 00:14:34,499
Hello. We're warehouse workers.
Would you like more proof?

265
00:14:35,407 --> 00:14:36,430
Okay.

266
00:14:36,507 --> 00:14:38,496
Oh, my God.
That was very close.

267
00:14:38,573 --> 00:14:40,095
I can see
the security guard's eyes.

268
00:14:40,173 --> 00:14:42,435
No. No. Don't do
anything to them.

269
00:14:42,507 --> 00:14:44,564
I have to do something
to his eyes.

270
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:47,435
The eyes are the groin
of the head.

271
00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:52,070
All right, Great Scott, if you found that
choking hazard poster, just head on home.

272
00:14:52,140 --> 00:14:56,697
We've got something far better, their
crown jewel. Their industrial copier.

273
00:14:57,373 --> 00:14:58,838
Isn't that thing huge?

274
00:14:58,906 --> 00:15:04,203
It's enormous, but it's got wheels. We're
wheeling it down the hall into the stairwell.

275
00:15:04,706 --> 00:15:07,332
Get the car ready,
keep the engine running.

276
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:10,168
No. That is a terrible idea.
Don't do this.

277
00:15:12,407 --> 00:15:13,464
My hip bone!

278
00:15:13,540 --> 00:15:18,495
We're wedged between the copier and the
railing! I'm stuck. Oh, my left hip!

279
00:15:18,573 --> 00:15:20,765
Leave us, Jim! Leave us. Save yourself.
Help us. No!

280
00:15:20,839 --> 00:15:23,101
Don't leave us. Help us.
We need help, Jim!

281
00:15:23,173 --> 00:15:26,367
Okay, first of all, stop using my name.
And second of all...

282
00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:27,599
You got to move out!

283
00:15:27,673 --> 00:15:30,265
Damn it, guys. Would you
just move over a little bit?

284
00:15:30,340 --> 00:15:31,771
I'm losing
control of my bladder!

285
00:15:31,839 --> 00:15:34,533
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Karen's back.

286
00:15:34,607 --> 00:15:38,095
Is that Karen? Take her to a motel.
Make love to her, Jim.

287
00:15:38,173 --> 00:15:39,968
No. I'm not doing that.

288
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,665
Just say you want
to get back together.

289
00:15:41,739 --> 00:15:43,171
No. I'm not doing that.

290
00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:46,797
It doesn't have to mean anything.
Just do it for Stanley.

291
00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:51,167
Come on, Jim. Just climb on top of her
and think about Stanley. Oh, God.

292
00:15:52,407 --> 00:15:55,430
Jim, if this is it for me,
promise me something.

293
00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:59,468
Jim?
Host the Dundies.

294
00:16:01,873 --> 00:16:03,237
Hey, Karen.

295
00:16:05,573 --> 00:16:06,902
What are you doing here?

296
00:16:06,973 --> 00:16:08,836
First of all, hi.

297
00:16:09,273 --> 00:16:10,466
What are you doing here?

298
00:16:10,540 --> 00:16:11,766
You good?

299
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,371
I'm just checking
on the other branches.

300
00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:18,133
Michael wants me to do that
from time to time. So...

301
00:16:18,206 --> 00:16:21,502
Do not tell Karen
about the industrial copier.

302
00:16:21,573 --> 00:16:23,697
Copy that.

303
00:16:24,106 --> 00:16:28,868
I cried for weeks over that guy, so yeah,
seeing him climb out of a PT Cruiser

304
00:16:28,939 --> 00:16:32,269
in a ladies' warehouse
uniform felt pretty good.

305
00:16:33,739 --> 00:16:37,001
Let me ask you, did you
accomplish what you wanted?

306
00:16:37,173 --> 00:16:40,832
Listen, lady, you can expect
these kind of repercussions

307
00:16:40,906 --> 00:16:43,202
as long as you keep trying
to poach our people.

308
00:16:43,273 --> 00:16:44,863
I'm taking Stanley.

309
00:16:44,939 --> 00:16:47,837
Then we will burn Utica
to the ground.

310
00:16:47,906 --> 00:16:48,905
Dwight.

311
00:16:51,572 --> 00:16:55,232
Granted, maybe this
was not the best idea,

312
00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:59,033
but at least we care enough
about our employees

313
00:16:59,106 --> 00:17:01,765
that we are willing
to fight for them.

314
00:17:02,773 --> 00:17:06,069
And if you so much as harm
a hair on Stanley's head,

315
00:17:08,006 --> 00:17:10,404
we will burn Utica
to the ground.

316
00:17:18,340 --> 00:17:20,238
Jim, hang on a second?
Yes.

317
00:17:23,340 --> 00:17:26,794
So you're still doing
this kind of stuff, huh?

318
00:17:26,873 --> 00:17:29,135
Yeah. Trying to quit,
though.

319
00:17:30,006 --> 00:17:33,029
If you wanted to see me, you could
have just called me like an adult.

320
00:17:33,106 --> 00:17:35,663
Oh, no, I didn't
want to see you.

321
00:17:35,739 --> 00:17:38,933
Not that I'm not happy
to be seeing you right now.

322
00:17:39,106 --> 00:17:42,402
I'm just saying ultimately I was
here for the copier. Equal.

323
00:17:42,473 --> 00:17:45,303
I'd say it was equal.
So, good to see you.

324
00:17:48,473 --> 00:17:50,768
I mean, it's just that,
you know,

325
00:17:50,839 --> 00:17:54,771
Pam and I are still dating so...
And I just mean that

326
00:17:55,673 --> 00:17:59,470
things are going really well
so I didn't want to see you.

327
00:17:59,939 --> 00:18:05,997
Oh, things are going really well? Are they?
They are? That's great. That's so great.

328
00:18:06,073 --> 00:18:08,595
I want to hear more about
how happy you are with Pam.

329
00:18:08,673 --> 00:18:12,333
Can you tell me more about that? Thank
you so much for coming to Utica

330
00:18:12,407 --> 00:18:16,396
and breaking my copier and telling me how
well things are going in your relationship.

331
00:18:16,472 --> 00:18:17,699
Really.
Thank you.

332
00:18:17,773 --> 00:18:24,366
All right. You are welcome. I am
going to go because of traffic.

333
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:26,429
Traffic. Yeah. Oh, definitely.
So...

334
00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:30,030
Go... Go because of traffic.
Definitely. Beat the traffic.

335
00:18:31,073 --> 00:18:32,595
I will.

336
00:18:38,906 --> 00:18:41,599
We tried and we failed.

337
00:18:44,106 --> 00:18:48,198
Stanley, you may go.

338
00:18:49,739 --> 00:18:55,229
Here is a box for your things.

339
00:18:57,673 --> 00:19:02,106
But I doubt that that box will be
able to contain all the memories that

340
00:19:02,173 --> 00:19:04,071
you have of this place.

341
00:19:06,140 --> 00:19:09,765
Fly away, sweet little bird.
Fly away and be free.

342
00:19:11,606 --> 00:19:12,605
Pam.

343
00:19:13,873 --> 00:19:16,964
I'm going to need some help
writing a want ad.

344
00:19:20,406 --> 00:19:25,429
Wanted. Middle-aged
black man with sass.

345
00:19:25,506 --> 00:19:28,631
Big butt. Bigger heart.

346
00:19:29,006 --> 00:19:31,437
I can't do this.

347
00:19:31,506 --> 00:19:34,438
Michael, a word?

348
00:19:35,472 --> 00:19:36,802
Of course.

349
00:19:39,539 --> 00:19:42,733
I changed my mind.
I want to keep this job.

350
00:19:43,773 --> 00:19:45,069
Really?

351
00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:49,197
I wasn't really planning on leaving.
All I wanted was a raise.

352
00:19:49,273 --> 00:19:54,933
How on Earth did Michael call my bluff?
Is he some sort of secret genius?

353
00:19:56,973 --> 00:19:59,166
Sometimes I say crazy things.

354
00:20:04,006 --> 00:20:05,097
Hey.

355
00:20:05,173 --> 00:20:08,071
I'm so sorry. Rolando
told me everything.

356
00:20:09,873 --> 00:20:11,463
How humiliating.

357
00:20:12,906 --> 00:20:15,895
Would it help you
to return to another age,

358
00:20:15,973 --> 00:20:20,303
a time of refinement
and civility?

359
00:20:21,439 --> 00:20:24,701
Are you inviting me
to the Finer Things Club?

360
00:20:24,773 --> 00:20:26,636
Oh, oh, come on!

361
00:20:29,639 --> 00:20:31,969
Angela's Ashes.
Top of the morning to it.

362
00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:34,972
Frankie's prose is finer
than a pot of gold, say I.

363
00:20:36,006 --> 00:20:39,836
Okay. Did you get it
out of your system?

364
00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:44,338
Yup. No, I mean I really liked it.
I thought it was a fun read.

365
00:20:44,673 --> 00:20:45,696
Fun?
Mmm-hmm.

366
00:20:45,773 --> 00:20:47,069
Really?
Yeah.

367
00:20:47,140 --> 00:20:50,936
What was fun about it for you?
Was it the death of the twins?

368
00:20:53,305 --> 00:20:55,328
No, that wasn't fun.

369
00:20:55,839 --> 00:20:57,135
Did you even read it?

370
00:20:57,206 --> 00:20:58,569
Of course I read it.

371
00:20:58,639 --> 00:20:59,832
How does it end?

372
00:20:59,906 --> 00:21:01,633
Who was the main character?

373
00:21:02,939 --> 00:21:06,962
Angela. Nope.
The ashes.

374
00:21:07,595 --> 00:21:17,585
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.