1 00:00:01,908 --> 00:00:05,779 I totally did. I love camping. Anything can happen. 2 00:00:05,849 --> 00:00:09,152 Oh, it wasn't camping. It was more of a wilderness retreat. 3 00:00:09,223 --> 00:00:10,452 Morning. Michael. 4 00:00:10,625 --> 00:00:13,529 Ryan invited some of the branch managers and Toby into the woods 5 00:00:13,598 --> 00:00:18,063 for a get-to-know-you weekend. Michael wasn't invited. 6 00:00:19,676 --> 00:00:23,343 Apparently they already knew everything they needed to know about him. 7 00:00:23,417 --> 00:00:24,578 Did you sleep in cabins? 8 00:00:24,653 --> 00:00:27,784 Under the stars. It was really beautiful. 9 00:00:27,859 --> 00:00:31,458 You should come. Bob and I took rock climbing lessons once. 10 00:00:34,873 --> 00:00:37,868 Michael wasn't invited on Ryan's camping trip. 11 00:00:37,947 --> 00:00:40,042 Toby went, but Michael didn't go. 12 00:00:40,852 --> 00:00:42,287 He wasn't invited. 13 00:00:42,789 --> 00:00:46,251 Who went? Me, Dan from Buffalo, Mark Chisholm, 14 00:00:46,330 --> 00:00:50,134 Jack from Albany, and Ryan, obviously. We ate so many s'mores 15 00:00:50,205 --> 00:00:54,578 I finally had to say, "No more s'mores. No more s'mores." 16 00:00:58,922 --> 00:01:02,656 Ryan invited me to go on his wilderness adventure retreat. 17 00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:05,394 It was this amazing, beautiful... 18 00:01:06,170 --> 00:01:08,868 Hey. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. 19 00:01:09,509 --> 00:01:12,845 I need that room at some point, so just wrap it up. 20 00:01:14,152 --> 00:01:15,780 Michael wasn't invited. 21 00:01:16,967 --> 00:01:23,047 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers. 22 00:01:37,866 --> 00:01:40,998 Hypothetically, if I were to ask you to go camping. 23 00:01:41,707 --> 00:01:44,338 And... Do you know what "hypothetical" means? 24 00:01:44,413 --> 00:01:45,506 Not real. Got it. 25 00:01:45,581 --> 00:01:49,021 So if I were to hypothetically ask you to go camping with me, 26 00:01:49,790 --> 00:01:51,419 would you go? Absolutely. Yes. 27 00:01:51,827 --> 00:01:55,164 When Michael plays the hypothetical game, I always say yes. 28 00:01:55,234 --> 00:01:56,931 Really? Yeah. 29 00:01:57,005 --> 00:01:58,371 Oh, do you want to go today? 30 00:01:58,441 --> 00:02:00,343 And I am always busy. 31 00:02:00,411 --> 00:02:03,679 Oh, I can't go today because I'm donating blood. 32 00:02:03,751 --> 00:02:06,952 How often can you actually donate blood? 33 00:02:07,025 --> 00:02:08,391 Is there a limit? I don't... 34 00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:10,522 Your body only has a certain amount. 35 00:02:10,598 --> 00:02:12,568 Well. Is that it? Or... 36 00:02:12,635 --> 00:02:15,198 Yeah. Just this whole Toby camping thing. 37 00:02:15,274 --> 00:02:18,508 I don't know, seems a little lame. I mean... How so? 38 00:02:18,581 --> 00:02:21,610 A bunch of guys in a tent making s'mores. 39 00:02:24,426 --> 00:02:27,227 What's that? Oh, I'm on Broken Mountain. 40 00:02:27,298 --> 00:02:29,495 Here's the thing. That's not how you go camping. 41 00:02:29,569 --> 00:02:33,304 I think you go camping by yourself in the wilderness. 42 00:02:33,377 --> 00:02:38,445 It's not with a group of guys frolicking around in tents. It's one guy 43 00:02:38,521 --> 00:02:40,855 or two guys, if your plans change. They're not 44 00:02:40,926 --> 00:02:44,194 I want to do it myself. You know, I want to go 45 00:02:44,266 --> 00:02:46,395 and find out something about myself. 46 00:02:46,470 --> 00:02:53,076 I want to get out of here. All the cliques and the office politics, fluorescent lights. 47 00:02:53,150 --> 00:02:54,675 And the asbestos. 48 00:02:54,753 --> 00:02:56,052 I thought we had that looked at. 49 00:02:56,123 --> 00:02:58,525 I'm sick of it, Jim. I'm sick of this place. 50 00:02:58,794 --> 00:03:03,759 When Jan and I had satellite, we used to watch a reality show called Survivorman. 51 00:03:03,838 --> 00:03:09,180 And it was interesting because it was about a guy who would go out 52 00:03:09,249 --> 00:03:13,246 into the middle of nowhere and just try not to die, 53 00:03:13,324 --> 00:03:15,453 try not to get eaten by an animal, 54 00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:18,523 or be overexposed. 55 00:03:18,701 --> 00:03:22,938 Okay, I will only need two things, a roll of duct tape and a knife. 56 00:03:23,544 --> 00:03:25,810 I'm on it. Okay. Thirty minutes or less. 57 00:03:25,882 --> 00:03:27,408 Please come back. 58 00:03:27,485 --> 00:03:30,821 Save the receipts. Hey, what... 59 00:03:30,893 --> 00:03:34,764 Let's see if any of these will work. Hey. Hey. Dwight. Dwight... 60 00:03:35,034 --> 00:03:38,370 I keep various weaponry strategically placed around the office. 61 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:42,505 I saved Jim's life with a can of pepper spray I had Velcroed under my desk. 62 00:03:43,450 --> 00:03:48,894 People say, "Oh, it's dangerous to keep weapons in the home or the workplace." 63 00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:54,003 Well, I say it's better to be hurt by someone you know, accidentally, 64 00:03:54,072 --> 00:03:56,542 than by a stranger on purpose. 65 00:03:58,681 --> 00:04:03,146 Dwight and I are going out. He will return later, but I will not. 66 00:04:03,223 --> 00:04:06,924 I will also be taking a personal day tomorrow 67 00:04:06,998 --> 00:04:09,059 and perhaps the next day. 68 00:04:09,135 --> 00:04:10,581 Do you want me to ask where you're going? 69 00:04:10,605 --> 00:04:11,766 No. 70 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:13,400 Great. Dwight will be driving me 71 00:04:13,477 --> 00:04:15,606 deep into the Pennsylvania wilderness. Oh. 72 00:04:15,681 --> 00:04:17,674 Where he will then leave me 73 00:04:17,752 --> 00:04:22,285 to either die or to survive. The choice is yours. 74 00:04:22,362 --> 00:04:26,359 No. The choice is actually yours. Are you sure you want to do this? 75 00:04:26,436 --> 00:04:31,174 Yes. And I am leaving you in charge of the office for the rest of the day, 76 00:04:31,246 --> 00:04:34,116 and for the next several days. Do not try to follow me. 77 00:04:34,185 --> 00:04:37,783 Okay. Great. This is a very personal, private experience 78 00:04:37,859 --> 00:04:41,731 in the wild that I wish to share with me, myself and I. 79 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:43,064 Yep. 80 00:04:43,137 --> 00:04:46,701 When I return, I hope to be a completely changed human being. 81 00:04:46,777 --> 00:04:47,778 That'd be great. 82 00:04:47,845 --> 00:04:50,715 Do I believe that Michael possesses the skills 83 00:04:50,785 --> 00:04:53,450 to survive in a hostile environment? 84 00:04:54,626 --> 00:04:57,997 Let's put it this way. No, I do not. 85 00:05:00,271 --> 00:05:02,264 This is what a true Survivorman does. 86 00:05:02,341 --> 00:05:06,111 You simulate a disaster, like a plane wreck. 87 00:05:06,183 --> 00:05:08,346 You can only wear the clothes that you have on, 88 00:05:08,420 --> 00:05:11,085 and you can only use the stuff that you have in your pockets. 89 00:05:11,159 --> 00:05:15,691 Now in this case, this disaster is a serial killer, 90 00:05:15,768 --> 00:05:20,608 creepy guy who's abducted me, and is taking me out into the wilderness 91 00:05:20,678 --> 00:05:22,892 to leave me for dead. No. I would never leave you for dead. 92 00:05:22,916 --> 00:05:25,819 You would never escape. Well, yes, I would. And I would survive. 93 00:05:25,888 --> 00:05:27,585 I would make sure that you were dead. No. 94 00:05:27,658 --> 00:05:29,942 Then I would remove your teeth and cut off your fingertips 95 00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:31,476 so you could not be identified. You... 96 00:05:31,500 --> 00:05:32,912 And they would call me the Overkill Killer. 97 00:05:32,936 --> 00:05:38,038 You are as creepy as a real serial killer, for real. Okay... 98 00:05:38,113 --> 00:05:41,745 What are you doing? I am putting this on so I have no familiarity 99 00:05:41,820 --> 00:05:43,517 with my surroundings. 100 00:05:43,590 --> 00:05:46,187 Now this way I can't retrace my steps. 101 00:05:46,263 --> 00:05:49,964 I don't know what streets we... Ow! What are you doing? 102 00:05:50,037 --> 00:05:51,904 It would be better if you were unconscious. No. 103 00:05:51,974 --> 00:05:54,536 Here... God. Dwight, stop it. Stop it. Stop it. 104 00:05:54,612 --> 00:05:56,411 Do you want to do this right or not? 105 00:05:56,483 --> 00:06:00,821 Just please allow me to have one cathartic experience in my life. 106 00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:06,164 Jim, we need to order a cake for Creed's birthday. 107 00:06:06,236 --> 00:06:07,727 Oh, wasn't it just someone's birthday? 108 00:06:07,805 --> 00:06:10,572 Yes. Kelly's was last week, remember? 109 00:06:10,644 --> 00:06:13,207 I do remember, yeah. It's birthday month. 110 00:06:13,283 --> 00:06:18,191 Creed's is today, Oscar's is week after next, Meredith's is at the end of the month. 111 00:06:18,260 --> 00:06:19,973 Michael usually goes with red and white streamers... 112 00:06:19,997 --> 00:06:23,960 You know what? I have an idea. Why don't we just do one big, shared party? 113 00:06:24,572 --> 00:06:25,597 What? 114 00:06:25,674 --> 00:06:30,275 There are 13 people working in this office, so 13 times a year, 115 00:06:30,351 --> 00:06:33,016 Michael gets a cake and balloons 116 00:06:33,557 --> 00:06:36,894 and some sort of joke gift and makes a toast. 117 00:06:36,998 --> 00:06:40,869 And there are two types of toasts. One is a joke about how old you are... 118 00:06:40,939 --> 00:06:44,970 Look at those wrinkles. Blacks do crack. Not crack the drug. 119 00:06:45,047 --> 00:06:50,581 And the other is something inappropriate or horrible or both. 120 00:06:51,159 --> 00:06:54,461 What else? He only sings the high harmony to Happy Birthday. 121 00:06:57,104 --> 00:06:59,940 And he is a very big believer in surprise parties. 122 00:07:00,010 --> 00:07:02,606 Maybe even, arguably, possibly to a fault. 123 00:07:02,682 --> 00:07:04,083 Happy birthday! 124 00:07:04,152 --> 00:07:05,711 Happy birthday! 125 00:07:07,758 --> 00:07:09,284 Happy birthday! 126 00:07:10,164 --> 00:07:14,434 So I think, yeah, I think getting these out of the way might be productive. 127 00:07:14,505 --> 00:07:15,632 Yeah. 128 00:07:15,708 --> 00:07:19,671 We can just have one big, fun party. And everybody's happy 129 00:07:19,749 --> 00:07:20,911 and nobody wastes their time. 130 00:07:20,986 --> 00:07:22,887 I don't like it. 131 00:07:27,398 --> 00:07:30,495 Wow. You're shaking things up a bit, huh? 132 00:07:30,571 --> 00:07:32,234 It's a pretty good idea, don't you think? 133 00:07:32,308 --> 00:07:36,578 Do you think it's a good idea? No. I think it's a great idea. 134 00:07:37,986 --> 00:07:38,987 Hmm. 135 00:07:41,126 --> 00:07:42,526 We're here. 136 00:07:45,234 --> 00:07:50,267 Dwight will take my blindfold off when we are deep in the forest. 137 00:07:50,344 --> 00:07:52,280 Just the two of us from this point out. 138 00:07:52,348 --> 00:07:54,784 Here we go. Just the two of us. 139 00:07:57,993 --> 00:08:01,261 Here we go into the wild, to the mighty forest. 140 00:08:03,103 --> 00:08:05,471 Can you smell the trees and the nature? 141 00:08:06,709 --> 00:08:08,406 Keep going. You're fine. 142 00:08:08,981 --> 00:08:11,144 Just some bushes and some thickets. 143 00:08:13,790 --> 00:08:14,918 Keep going. 144 00:08:16,729 --> 00:08:18,962 You wanted wilderness. You got it. 145 00:08:19,402 --> 00:08:20,948 You know, try sending them another invoice. 146 00:08:20,972 --> 00:08:22,304 Okay. All right. 147 00:08:22,808 --> 00:08:25,177 Oh, did you see my memo, by the way? 148 00:08:27,919 --> 00:08:29,854 "Let's be honest, as fun as birthdays are," 149 00:08:29,923 --> 00:08:31,836 "we all can use a break from the constant cakes." 150 00:08:31,860 --> 00:08:34,855 "So let's celebrate birthday month in style today." 151 00:08:35,834 --> 00:08:38,135 This is really cool. 152 00:08:38,874 --> 00:08:41,175 Right? I was just thinking... 153 00:08:41,246 --> 00:08:43,239 No. Totally. Totally. 154 00:08:43,316 --> 00:08:46,915 This way we get it all out of the way at once and it could actually be fun. 155 00:08:46,991 --> 00:08:49,929 Right. Exactly. 156 00:08:51,099 --> 00:08:52,431 I knew I could count on you. 157 00:08:55,107 --> 00:08:56,974 As good a spot as any. 158 00:09:02,188 --> 00:09:04,124 What are you doing? Stop it. 159 00:09:04,192 --> 00:09:06,094 Dwight, just stop it. I'm just... 160 00:09:06,162 --> 00:09:09,498 Spin. I'm trying to confuse your sense of direction. 161 00:09:15,681 --> 00:09:17,116 Behold. 162 00:09:17,184 --> 00:09:18,812 All right, good. Thank you, Dwight. 163 00:09:18,887 --> 00:09:20,823 Here's your knife. Thank you. 164 00:09:20,892 --> 00:09:22,554 And here's your duct tape. Good. 165 00:09:22,628 --> 00:09:24,825 All right. Very good. 166 00:09:24,900 --> 00:09:27,496 Okay. Yeah. 167 00:09:27,939 --> 00:09:30,409 Good luck, Michael. Thanks for the ride. 168 00:09:32,881 --> 00:09:34,282 Okay. 169 00:09:35,687 --> 00:09:37,316 Leave me be, Dwight. 170 00:09:39,695 --> 00:09:42,565 Hey, Jim, can I have my own cake? What's that? 171 00:09:42,635 --> 00:09:44,229 I really prefer Devil's Food Cake. 172 00:09:44,305 --> 00:09:45,466 Oh, sure. 173 00:09:45,540 --> 00:09:46,701 Yes. Okay. 174 00:09:46,776 --> 00:09:47,869 Awesome. 175 00:09:48,246 --> 00:09:49,305 Wow. That was easy. 176 00:09:49,382 --> 00:09:51,249 Yeah. People like me, I guess. 177 00:09:51,319 --> 00:09:52,412 Jim. 178 00:09:53,256 --> 00:09:55,283 I hate Devil's Food. Well, I think Meredith was... 179 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:56,989 Screw Meredith. I don't think it's fair 180 00:09:57,064 --> 00:09:59,034 to let someone else pick the cake on my birthday. 181 00:09:59,101 --> 00:10:01,333 Everybody's birthday. Today is actually my birthday 182 00:10:01,406 --> 00:10:03,376 and I want to pick the cake. What do you want? 183 00:10:03,443 --> 00:10:05,356 I want pie. I want peach pie. You want birthday pie? 184 00:10:05,380 --> 00:10:06,381 I want a nice cobbler. 185 00:10:06,449 --> 00:10:08,863 I'll talk to Angela and we're going to see what we can do about a pie. 186 00:10:08,887 --> 00:10:10,667 I don't care who you talk to. Just make it happen. 187 00:10:10,691 --> 00:10:12,786 It'll be Angela. You tell her it's for Creed. 188 00:10:12,861 --> 00:10:14,296 She'll know what that means. 189 00:10:20,744 --> 00:10:25,448 Day one. I'm in the interior of the vast Pennsylvania wilderness. 190 00:10:26,456 --> 00:10:29,326 I have brought with me only the bare essentials, 191 00:10:29,395 --> 00:10:32,697 a knife, a roll of duct tape 192 00:10:32,768 --> 00:10:37,142 in case I need to fashion a shelter or make some sort of water vessel. 193 00:10:38,146 --> 00:10:43,714 It's hot today. The sun is in the two-thirds easterly quadrant, 194 00:10:43,790 --> 00:10:49,166 which would make it about 2:00 in the afternoon. 195 00:10:49,235 --> 00:10:51,535 Really beating down on me now. 196 00:10:51,606 --> 00:10:56,275 I think that I want to get a little more comfortable 197 00:10:56,783 --> 00:11:01,384 because the sun is depleting my resources. 198 00:11:01,459 --> 00:11:04,625 Okay. There we go. 199 00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:09,163 Watch that I don't hit my carotid artery here. 200 00:11:09,241 --> 00:11:13,841 I lied to Michael. I said that I would leave him alone, but I will not. 201 00:11:13,918 --> 00:11:17,584 I will remain close by to provide unseen moral support. 202 00:11:17,658 --> 00:11:19,389 But I will never help him. 203 00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:24,500 I will let harm befall him. I will even let him die. 204 00:11:24,572 --> 00:11:27,203 But I will never let him lose his dignity. 205 00:11:27,644 --> 00:11:30,081 There we go. Much better. 206 00:11:30,150 --> 00:11:35,092 Now everything I brought with me can be used. 207 00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:37,528 My sport coat here 208 00:11:37,598 --> 00:11:42,233 can be fashioned into a backpack of sorts. 209 00:11:42,307 --> 00:11:48,252 I'm going to wear what was once one of my pant legs. 210 00:11:51,092 --> 00:11:53,928 See, this is a beautiful piece of material. 211 00:11:53,998 --> 00:11:58,906 This can be used for all sorts of things, some sort of kerchief 212 00:12:00,477 --> 00:12:03,381 to keep my neck nice and comfortable. 213 00:12:06,188 --> 00:12:08,181 Jimbo. Andy. 214 00:12:08,259 --> 00:12:12,324 Me likey the ice cream cake, okay? Fudgie the Whale. 215 00:12:12,401 --> 00:12:15,532 Not your birthday. Well, I'm just saying, you know, 216 00:12:15,607 --> 00:12:17,634 if you want to make people happy, namely me, 217 00:12:17,711 --> 00:12:19,510 you will have a Fudgie the Whale. 218 00:12:19,582 --> 00:12:22,748 All right. I'll look into it, but the answer's no. 219 00:12:23,456 --> 00:12:25,483 Well, okay. Harsh. 220 00:12:25,928 --> 00:12:27,487 Just don't expect me to show up. 221 00:12:27,564 --> 00:12:30,969 Hey, Andy, I have some calls to make. Loud and clear. 222 00:12:31,038 --> 00:12:32,404 All right. 223 00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:38,216 Pizza rolls. Okay, I'm going to go into this office here 224 00:12:38,286 --> 00:12:39,879 to do some work so I will be in here. 225 00:12:39,956 --> 00:12:41,049 Mushroom caps. 226 00:12:41,459 --> 00:12:45,924 I am totally alone right now with only my thoughts. 227 00:12:46,002 --> 00:12:48,564 I love it. I'm loving it. 228 00:12:49,909 --> 00:12:54,577 I can literally say anything I want. No one is going to hear me. 229 00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:58,891 Wish I could have gone with Ryan on that cool retreat. 230 00:12:59,828 --> 00:13:01,855 Jan has plastic boobs. 231 00:13:02,734 --> 00:13:06,799 I have hemorrhoids. 232 00:13:09,682 --> 00:13:11,618 Doesn't even matter. 233 00:13:11,686 --> 00:13:14,624 Michael's a man of great depth and passion. 234 00:13:16,228 --> 00:13:19,223 I don't know what he's searching for out here. 235 00:13:23,776 --> 00:13:25,405 But I hope he finds it. 236 00:13:28,586 --> 00:13:29,781 Lunch. 237 00:13:30,490 --> 00:13:34,362 Well. It is a little chillier than I had thought. 238 00:13:34,431 --> 00:13:37,062 So I have fashioned my hat back into my pants. 239 00:13:38,339 --> 00:13:41,539 Several hours in, it's time for me to find some nourishment. 240 00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:45,780 Now these woods are full of creatures that can sustain human life. 241 00:13:45,854 --> 00:13:49,157 Things like squirrels, 242 00:13:49,228 --> 00:13:52,394 a nice, juicy rabbit would be delicious. 243 00:13:54,371 --> 00:13:56,273 About two more minutes. 244 00:13:58,246 --> 00:14:03,952 I have made this spear with which I will impale my dinner. 245 00:14:06,295 --> 00:14:07,807 And that couldn't come a moment too soon, 246 00:14:07,831 --> 00:14:11,327 because I have been without food for a good 247 00:14:12,007 --> 00:14:13,703 three hours or so. 248 00:14:14,745 --> 00:14:17,148 Starting to feel it a little bit. 249 00:14:22,093 --> 00:14:23,926 It's Creed's birthday today. 250 00:14:25,033 --> 00:14:28,665 Happy birthday to you 251 00:14:29,541 --> 00:14:33,675 Happy birthday to you 252 00:14:33,749 --> 00:14:39,284 Happy birthday, dear Creed 253 00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:46,670 Happy birthday to you 254 00:14:47,744 --> 00:14:49,611 Happy birthday, buddy. 255 00:14:50,951 --> 00:14:54,617 What is Jim thinking? It's a birthday. So what if there's a lot of them? 256 00:14:54,691 --> 00:15:00,567 Yeah. I work hard all day. I like knowing that there's going to be a break. 257 00:15:00,637 --> 00:15:03,268 Most days I just sit and wait for the break. 258 00:15:03,342 --> 00:15:07,077 I took an extra shot of insulin in preparation for this cake today. 259 00:15:07,150 --> 00:15:09,677 If I don't have some cake soon, I might die. 260 00:15:09,755 --> 00:15:10,934 Why don't you just have an apple? 261 00:15:10,958 --> 00:15:12,392 Why don't you mind your business? 262 00:15:12,460 --> 00:15:13,758 Listen, I figured this out. 263 00:15:13,829 --> 00:15:17,701 Jimmy had his birthday three weeks ago so he doesn't care. 264 00:15:17,771 --> 00:15:19,638 I think the power went to his head. Yeah. 265 00:15:19,708 --> 00:15:21,268 Hey, Jim. Hey, guys. 266 00:15:21,345 --> 00:15:25,012 What are we talking about? Nothing. Nothing going on. 267 00:15:25,086 --> 00:15:28,525 We're talking about nothing. Come on, gang. 268 00:15:33,569 --> 00:15:37,009 Well, if you take a look at this, I tented my pants. 269 00:15:37,811 --> 00:15:41,912 I've made myself a nice pants tent shelter. 270 00:15:42,687 --> 00:15:45,523 And this little guy may be Dunder Mifflin paper some day. 271 00:15:51,405 --> 00:15:53,968 Nothing to worry about. Just using the scope. 272 00:15:54,044 --> 00:15:57,505 Safety is on. 273 00:16:01,525 --> 00:16:02,526 Hey, Jim. 274 00:16:02,594 --> 00:16:03,687 Toby. 275 00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:06,530 Hey, I just got the word on the communal birthdays. 276 00:16:06,602 --> 00:16:08,595 Oh. Great idea. 277 00:16:09,976 --> 00:16:11,912 Oh, thanks, man. Yeah. 278 00:16:16,055 --> 00:16:17,387 Is there anything I can... 279 00:16:17,457 --> 00:16:19,256 My birthday was two months ago. 280 00:16:19,327 --> 00:16:20,328 Oh, okay. 281 00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:22,059 There was no party. 282 00:16:22,133 --> 00:16:26,369 What? Well, there was but Michael scheduled it for 283 00:16:26,442 --> 00:16:29,938 4:58 on a Friday. People sang in the parking lot. 284 00:16:30,016 --> 00:16:31,041 I remember that. 285 00:16:31,118 --> 00:16:32,496 I don't know, I just thought maybe you 286 00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:35,014 could include me. Seriously? 287 00:16:35,093 --> 00:16:38,224 I just thought you could add me in. I don't know what the harm in that is. 288 00:16:38,566 --> 00:16:42,836 Toby's great. He's great. But sometimes he can be a little bit much. 289 00:16:42,908 --> 00:16:47,941 "I don't see the harm in that." Well, it's a cake, Toby, so come on. 290 00:16:48,018 --> 00:16:50,165 Okay, yeah, you know what, we're just going to throw you in 291 00:16:50,189 --> 00:16:51,367 because the more, the merrier, right? 292 00:16:51,391 --> 00:16:55,161 No. No way. I am not a machine, Jim. 293 00:16:55,233 --> 00:16:59,139 You can't just change plans willy-nilly and expect these little magic party elves 294 00:16:59,207 --> 00:17:01,336 to do your bidding. We already have Devil's Food, 295 00:17:01,411 --> 00:17:04,542 peach cobbler, Fudgie the Whale, mushroom caps... 296 00:17:04,618 --> 00:17:06,019 I'm allergic to mushrooms. 297 00:17:06,088 --> 00:17:08,285 That's a bummer. Okay. 298 00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:10,795 Then we need to... 299 00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:13,812 Hey, everybody. Hi, how are you doing? Could I have your attention, please? 300 00:17:13,836 --> 00:17:15,966 'Cause we have to talk about this birthday thing. 301 00:17:16,041 --> 00:17:18,273 Conference room? Yes. Conference room. Five minutes. 302 00:17:18,345 --> 00:17:22,445 No. No. We're going to solve it right here. 303 00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:24,422 We're going to actually talk about it out here. 304 00:17:24,491 --> 00:17:27,861 So who has problems with the birthday thing? 305 00:17:27,932 --> 00:17:31,803 One, two, three, everybody. Okay, so then we just shouldn't do it. 306 00:17:31,872 --> 00:17:34,366 What am I supposed to do with two cakes and a pie? 307 00:17:34,444 --> 00:17:37,177 I'll take them. Well, nobody's touching my cobbler. 308 00:17:37,250 --> 00:17:39,243 Hey, Michael. I mean Jim. 309 00:17:40,723 --> 00:17:43,456 Yeah. Phyllis called me Michael. 310 00:17:44,798 --> 00:17:47,668 And I will always and forever be haunted by that fact. 311 00:17:48,305 --> 00:17:52,541 Under this tree, I think I struck the mother lode. 312 00:17:52,614 --> 00:17:57,852 Those are nature's best mushrooms. 313 00:17:57,925 --> 00:18:02,866 Wild, and I have to say, these little buggers are damn tasty as well. 314 00:18:02,935 --> 00:18:05,405 Stop. No. No, Michael. 315 00:18:05,473 --> 00:18:09,004 No. No. No. 316 00:18:12,620 --> 00:18:13,953 Get them out. 317 00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:21,829 Happy birthday to you 318 00:18:21,906 --> 00:18:26,142 Happy birthday to you 319 00:18:26,214 --> 00:18:31,680 Happy birthday, dear Creed 320 00:18:31,758 --> 00:18:37,225 Happy birthday to you 321 00:18:37,303 --> 00:18:39,705 Yeah. All right. 322 00:18:39,774 --> 00:18:43,544 Skip around the room. Skip around the room. We won't... 323 00:18:43,615 --> 00:18:47,111 Okay, all right, yikes. Don't do that. You're going to break something. 324 00:18:47,323 --> 00:18:52,857 Man became civilized for a reason. He decided that he liked to have warmth 325 00:18:52,935 --> 00:18:55,371 and clothing and television, 326 00:18:55,639 --> 00:18:58,577 and hamburgers, and to walk upright, 327 00:18:58,645 --> 00:19:02,085 and to have a soft futon at the end of the day. 328 00:19:02,153 --> 00:19:04,783 He didn't want to have to struggle to survive. 329 00:19:04,992 --> 00:19:09,160 I don't need the woods. I have a nice wood desk. 330 00:19:10,336 --> 00:19:12,533 I don't need fresh air 331 00:19:12,607 --> 00:19:15,978 because I have the freshest air around, AC. 332 00:19:17,483 --> 00:19:19,920 And I don't need wide open spaces. 333 00:19:21,491 --> 00:19:22,720 Check it out. 334 00:19:25,934 --> 00:19:27,995 I can also make it the sky. 335 00:19:31,778 --> 00:19:33,407 Hi, buddy. Hey. 336 00:19:33,482 --> 00:19:34,575 What's up? 337 00:19:35,152 --> 00:19:37,247 I'm sure glad you're back. 338 00:19:37,423 --> 00:19:38,892 You are relieved. 339 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,360 You have no idea. 340 00:19:41,531 --> 00:19:43,228 So what did I miss? 341 00:19:43,335 --> 00:19:45,669 Well, I tried to put all the birthdays together at once. 342 00:19:45,739 --> 00:19:47,470 Oh. So, terrible idea. 343 00:19:47,543 --> 00:19:51,574 Yeah. Okay, I did that. Rookie mistake. 344 00:19:51,651 --> 00:19:55,250 You did do it? Yeah. Just wait. 345 00:19:55,326 --> 00:19:57,660 Ten years, you'll figure it out. 346 00:19:57,730 --> 00:20:00,702 Well, I don't think I'll be here in ten years, but... 347 00:20:01,805 --> 00:20:03,297 That's what I said. 348 00:20:07,985 --> 00:20:09,510 That's what she said. 349 00:20:12,895 --> 00:20:14,329 That's what who said? 350 00:20:14,397 --> 00:20:16,026 I never know. 351 00:20:16,801 --> 00:20:20,936 But I just say it. I say stuff like that, you know, 352 00:20:21,913 --> 00:20:25,079 to lighten the tension when things sort of get hard. 353 00:20:25,152 --> 00:20:27,019 That's what she said. 354 00:20:27,089 --> 00:20:29,685 Hey. Nice. 355 00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,058 Really good. 356 00:20:34,604 --> 00:20:37,474 Bravo, my young ward. 357 00:20:38,433 --> 00:20:48,443 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.