1 00:00:06,630 --> 00:00:12,704 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers. 2 00:00:23,252 --> 00:00:26,779 All right, everybody, this is your last meal, so eat up. 3 00:00:28,724 --> 00:00:31,090 From this point forward, you will not use the bathroom. 4 00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:34,186 We need to keep our starting weights high so we can lose more. 5 00:00:34,263 --> 00:00:35,890 This summer, corporate is sponsoring 6 00:00:35,965 --> 00:00:38,160 a little weight loss contest between the branches. 7 00:00:38,234 --> 00:00:41,795 Whichever branch loses the most weight 8 00:00:41,871 --> 00:00:43,429 gets three extra vacation days. 9 00:00:43,873 --> 00:00:45,417 What should we do with all these leftovers? 10 00:00:45,441 --> 00:00:47,033 I'm taking the dumplings for my wife. 11 00:00:47,109 --> 00:00:48,633 No, no, no. This is your last meal. 12 00:00:48,711 --> 00:00:50,201 There will be no leftovers. 13 00:00:50,279 --> 00:00:52,144 I can bring these to my shelter. 14 00:00:52,214 --> 00:00:53,704 I'm taking my dumplings. 15 00:00:54,917 --> 00:00:57,442 There. Take those home to your wife. 16 00:00:59,722 --> 00:01:00,722 Dwight! Dwight! 17 00:01:00,790 --> 00:01:01,790 Michael, it's time. 18 00:01:01,857 --> 00:01:03,825 Hit the scales, everybody. 19 00:01:03,893 --> 00:01:07,420 Right on that black platform. This way. Step it up. 20 00:01:07,496 --> 00:01:08,827 Don't go breaking my scale. 21 00:01:09,198 --> 00:01:11,359 I'm excited to lose weight for the wedding, 22 00:01:11,434 --> 00:01:14,198 because I really want to have washboard abs 23 00:01:14,270 --> 00:01:16,363 the first time Angela sees me naked. 24 00:01:18,874 --> 00:01:19,898 Ex-squeeze me. 25 00:01:19,975 --> 00:01:22,876 No, I will ex-squeeze you. 26 00:01:22,945 --> 00:01:24,810 Okay, everybody, get used to this, 27 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:27,940 because we are going to be standing here briefly 28 00:01:28,017 --> 00:01:30,076 every Monday for the next seven Mondays. 29 00:01:30,152 --> 00:01:32,382 Wait a minute. One more bite of eclair each. 30 00:01:32,455 --> 00:01:35,424 Hold it in your mouth if you can't swallow. 31 00:01:38,461 --> 00:01:40,395 Really? Nothing? 32 00:01:40,463 --> 00:01:42,954 2,336 pounds. 33 00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:45,744 You all need to learn some portion control. 34 00:01:45,768 --> 00:01:48,202 Wait a minute, Pam is on the scale. 35 00:01:48,270 --> 00:01:51,535 Pam-cake, no, no, no. We would love your extra poundage, 36 00:01:51,607 --> 00:01:55,703 but you are going to be leaving us next week, so vamoose! 37 00:01:56,345 --> 00:01:59,280 Okay. Vamoose, Pam. Dunder Mifflin family only. 38 00:01:59,348 --> 00:02:00,576 Family only. 39 00:02:00,649 --> 00:02:03,675 All right, got it. 2,210 pounds. 40 00:02:09,458 --> 00:02:13,087 Pam, you weigh 226 pounds? 41 00:02:13,162 --> 00:02:14,527 Almost, Kevin. 42 00:02:14,597 --> 00:02:16,462 Not almost, though, Holly. 43 00:02:16,532 --> 00:02:18,727 I mean, not... Not close to 200. 44 00:02:18,801 --> 00:02:19,995 Math is hard. 45 00:02:20,069 --> 00:02:21,195 Yeah. 46 00:02:21,270 --> 00:02:23,500 Just... We'll, just keep going. 47 00:02:27,810 --> 00:02:30,210 I'm totally going to slaughter at the weigh-in today. 48 00:02:30,279 --> 00:02:31,399 All I had this weekend to eat 49 00:02:31,413 --> 00:02:33,176 was a chicken breast and a case of Diet Coke. 50 00:02:33,249 --> 00:02:34,249 Really? Yeah. 51 00:02:34,316 --> 00:02:37,012 'Cause I haven't eaten anything since noon on Friday. 52 00:02:37,086 --> 00:02:39,816 Okay. Stanley, come on. 53 00:02:39,889 --> 00:02:41,133 Oh, I forgot something in my car. 54 00:02:41,157 --> 00:02:42,283 I'll see you guys up there. 55 00:02:42,358 --> 00:02:43,689 All right. 56 00:02:46,362 --> 00:02:49,422 I happen to be losing weight on my own for my own reasons. 57 00:02:49,498 --> 00:02:54,333 The truth is, I have lost a little of my speed, a little of my fire. 58 00:02:54,403 --> 00:02:56,030 Here's what I used to look like. 59 00:02:56,105 --> 00:02:57,663 Look at those biceps. 60 00:02:57,740 --> 00:03:01,198 We were fighting the power and eating whatever we wanted. 61 00:03:01,510 --> 00:03:06,413 And arch your back and slowly bring up your head. 62 00:03:10,553 --> 00:03:12,282 Jimbo. Oh. They moved the shower. 63 00:03:12,354 --> 00:03:14,379 Did you see Holly's butt? 64 00:03:14,456 --> 00:03:15,855 No, I didn't. 65 00:03:16,792 --> 00:03:18,384 You know why? Why? 66 00:03:18,460 --> 00:03:21,987 Because most of the time, friends don't talk about other friends' butts. 67 00:03:22,064 --> 00:03:24,396 I... I know. 68 00:03:24,466 --> 00:03:26,024 But what have you learned about her? 69 00:03:26,101 --> 00:03:29,127 I learned that she broke her left leg twice in one year. 70 00:03:29,205 --> 00:03:32,174 I learned that she's allergic to sesame seeds. 71 00:03:32,241 --> 00:03:35,768 I learned that she has read Lonesome Dove three times. 72 00:03:35,845 --> 00:03:36,845 Nice. 73 00:03:36,912 --> 00:03:40,211 And that her butt refuses to quit. 74 00:03:40,282 --> 00:03:41,772 Well, I tried. 75 00:03:42,718 --> 00:03:46,814 You have to... You have to agree with me. That's insane. 76 00:03:46,889 --> 00:03:49,249 I'll just go later. That's insane. I thought you had to pee. 77 00:03:57,533 --> 00:04:01,560 Hey, if you're into yoga, I take a great Bikram class in Dickson City. 78 00:04:01,637 --> 00:04:03,298 Oh, thanks. I should check that out. 79 00:04:03,372 --> 00:04:07,365 Also, and no pressure, the teacher, he's a catch. 80 00:04:07,443 --> 00:04:08,808 Actually, I'm a lesbian. 81 00:04:08,878 --> 00:04:10,038 I'm gay. 82 00:04:11,113 --> 00:04:12,580 I'm not a lesbian. 83 00:04:12,648 --> 00:04:15,116 I don't know why I said that. Stupid joke. 84 00:04:15,184 --> 00:04:16,845 What's the joke? 85 00:04:16,919 --> 00:04:18,648 No, there is no joke. 86 00:04:19,388 --> 00:04:22,516 I just said it because I haven't had much luck lately 87 00:04:22,591 --> 00:04:24,456 and I'm not really looking to date, 88 00:04:24,526 --> 00:04:26,960 so maybe I should switch to women. 89 00:04:27,796 --> 00:04:29,764 You think it's a choice? 90 00:04:32,268 --> 00:04:35,169 I'm going to head back to my work area and just... 91 00:04:35,237 --> 00:04:37,364 I'm messing with you, Holly. 92 00:04:38,207 --> 00:04:40,038 I knew that. 93 00:04:40,109 --> 00:04:41,474 Okay, bye. Okay. 94 00:04:41,543 --> 00:04:42,976 So you have the directions? Yeah. 95 00:04:43,045 --> 00:04:44,085 You have a toothbrush? Yes. 96 00:04:44,146 --> 00:04:45,257 You have a cell phone charger? 97 00:04:45,281 --> 00:04:46,281 I have everything. 98 00:04:46,348 --> 00:04:48,578 Tomorrow, I start a three-month design program 99 00:04:48,651 --> 00:04:50,710 at the Pratt Institute in New York. 100 00:04:50,786 --> 00:04:53,584 I will be a little fish in the Big Apple. 101 00:04:54,490 --> 00:04:56,390 What up, two-one-two? 102 00:04:57,126 --> 00:04:58,252 Fax this for me. 103 00:04:58,327 --> 00:05:00,338 Come on, man. She goes to New York in, like, 10 minutes. 104 00:05:00,362 --> 00:05:03,559 It's not going to take her 10 minutes to fax it, Jim. 105 00:05:03,632 --> 00:05:05,190 If I don't see you again, goodbye. 106 00:05:05,267 --> 00:05:07,712 Well, actually, I'll see you when you give me the fax confirmation. 107 00:05:07,736 --> 00:05:10,136 So never mind. 108 00:05:11,540 --> 00:05:14,373 Ang... ela. 109 00:05:15,244 --> 00:05:17,269 Ela, ela, ela 110 00:05:17,346 --> 00:05:19,473 Under my Angerela 111 00:05:19,548 --> 00:05:22,142 Ela, ela, eh, eh 112 00:05:22,217 --> 00:05:23,241 What? 113 00:05:23,319 --> 00:05:24,843 Hey, check it out. 114 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:27,320 This is The Breakers, Newport, Rhode Island. 115 00:05:27,389 --> 00:05:31,052 Huge, awesome, gorgeous mansion overlooking the Atlantic. 116 00:05:31,126 --> 00:05:33,822 And my dad went to Cornell with the current groundskeeper. 117 00:05:34,096 --> 00:05:38,897 Every little boy fantasizes about his fairytale wedding. 118 00:05:40,102 --> 00:05:41,660 No. No. 119 00:05:41,737 --> 00:05:43,817 This is where my parents decided not to get divorced. 120 00:05:43,872 --> 00:05:45,134 I don't care. Okay. 121 00:05:45,207 --> 00:05:47,937 How do you feel about Maine? 122 00:05:50,312 --> 00:05:53,076 I'm on it. I'll see you later, love. 123 00:06:12,201 --> 00:06:14,726 We done good in there, half-pint. 124 00:06:14,803 --> 00:06:16,683 Well, that was the last time, Dwight. I mean it. 125 00:06:16,739 --> 00:06:18,536 Monkey. No. No. 126 00:06:18,607 --> 00:06:20,768 I have a fiance I very much like. 127 00:06:30,319 --> 00:06:31,581 Hey! Hey! 128 00:06:49,238 --> 00:06:52,435 Pam! Pam! Hey. 129 00:06:53,509 --> 00:06:54,509 What happened? 130 00:06:54,576 --> 00:06:55,736 I wrote you a goodbye poem. 131 00:06:55,811 --> 00:06:59,042 It's really long. I left it up in my office. 132 00:06:59,114 --> 00:07:00,592 Could you just please wait until I go get it? 133 00:07:00,616 --> 00:07:01,656 I should really get going. 134 00:07:01,683 --> 00:07:04,151 No. Okay. Okay. 135 00:07:06,455 --> 00:07:08,616 The last word is "seagulls." 136 00:07:09,525 --> 00:07:10,725 I'm sure it was really lovely. 137 00:07:10,826 --> 00:07:12,293 I took a lot from other poems. 138 00:07:14,596 --> 00:07:16,120 Call me when you get in. Okay. 139 00:07:16,198 --> 00:07:17,222 Bye. Bye. 140 00:07:17,299 --> 00:07:18,299 All right, call... 141 00:07:18,367 --> 00:07:19,629 No, Michael. 142 00:07:24,173 --> 00:07:26,232 Why haven't I proposed yet? 143 00:07:26,308 --> 00:07:29,971 Actually, Pam and I talked about it. And we just decided that, 144 00:07:30,045 --> 00:07:32,924 well, we didn't want to spend the first three months of our engagement apart. 145 00:07:32,948 --> 00:07:35,644 And Pam's always said she doesn't want a long engagement. 146 00:07:35,717 --> 00:07:38,015 Something in her past, I guess. 147 00:07:38,087 --> 00:07:39,397 Not really sure of the whole story, 148 00:07:39,421 --> 00:07:42,515 but something about a guy who used to work here. 149 00:07:43,092 --> 00:07:45,993 Okay. No, no, no, no, no! Same places as last week. 150 00:07:46,061 --> 00:07:47,505 It doesn't matter, Michael. Yes, it does. 151 00:07:47,529 --> 00:07:50,225 No, this is about weight displacement. 152 00:07:50,299 --> 00:07:51,810 We have to have the same weight distribution. 153 00:07:51,834 --> 00:07:53,597 Right here. There we go. 154 00:07:53,669 --> 00:07:55,830 Let's move that up. There we go. 155 00:07:56,438 --> 00:07:58,338 Fancy meeting you here. 156 00:08:00,442 --> 00:08:02,501 Okay, everybody smile. 157 00:08:07,816 --> 00:08:09,477 You lost 31 pounds. 158 00:08:09,551 --> 00:08:11,451 Hey! Yeah! 159 00:08:12,287 --> 00:08:13,549 All right! Yes! 160 00:08:13,622 --> 00:08:14,902 I can't believe I'm saying this, 161 00:08:14,957 --> 00:08:18,484 but Michael is actually killing it with Holly. 162 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:22,792 And I think I know why. It's because Holly is kind of a major dork. 163 00:08:25,367 --> 00:08:27,528 I'm MC Mike Scott and I am hot 164 00:08:27,603 --> 00:08:29,901 She's DJ Jazzy Flax and she is the best 165 00:08:29,972 --> 00:08:32,463 All the sucker branches can suck our fat 166 00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:35,039 Wicka-wicka-wicka what? 167 00:08:40,750 --> 00:08:42,980 Dunder Mifflin. This is Ronni. 168 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:45,182 I don't really know Ronni. 169 00:08:45,254 --> 00:08:47,518 But I have a feeling I will get to know her very well 170 00:08:47,590 --> 00:08:49,683 over the next few years. 171 00:08:49,759 --> 00:08:52,125 And eventually declare my love for her. 172 00:08:55,097 --> 00:08:58,555 Sorry I'm late. I accidentally switched my alarm clock setting 173 00:08:58,634 --> 00:09:00,397 to Zapf Chancery. 174 00:09:01,737 --> 00:09:04,729 Which is my terrible segue into our course, 175 00:09:05,341 --> 00:09:07,969 Expressive Typography in New Media. 176 00:09:09,612 --> 00:09:11,671 I'm in the wrong class. 177 00:09:11,747 --> 00:09:15,205 Some of you may remember from last semester, I am Professor Monahan. 178 00:09:15,284 --> 00:09:18,151 And it looks like I'm boring someone already. 179 00:09:18,220 --> 00:09:20,518 No, I just... Please sit down. 180 00:09:31,968 --> 00:09:33,526 You're shaking. Are you all right? 181 00:09:33,603 --> 00:09:35,537 Just leave me alone! 182 00:09:35,871 --> 00:09:38,772 I am on the third day of my cleanse diet. 183 00:09:38,841 --> 00:09:41,207 All I have to do is drink maple syrup, 184 00:09:41,277 --> 00:09:44,906 lemon juice, cayenne pepper and water for all three meals. 185 00:09:46,015 --> 00:09:48,882 I just bought some bikinis online, size two. So... 186 00:09:50,386 --> 00:09:52,286 Gonna look amazing! 187 00:09:58,127 --> 00:09:59,560 Hi, can I help you? 188 00:09:59,629 --> 00:10:01,961 I need you to make me 100 copies of this on canary yellow. 189 00:10:02,064 --> 00:10:03,088 Hey, Jan. Hi. 190 00:10:03,165 --> 00:10:04,462 How's the candle game? 191 00:10:04,533 --> 00:10:05,795 Oh, great. Yeah. 192 00:10:05,868 --> 00:10:09,167 Serenity by Jan is kicking ass and taking names. 193 00:10:10,039 --> 00:10:11,950 You remember last week when that girl went missing, 194 00:10:11,974 --> 00:10:14,101 guess whose candles they used for the vigil? 195 00:10:14,176 --> 00:10:17,475 Cool. Thank God they found her, too. 196 00:10:17,546 --> 00:10:19,639 Oh, they found her? Hi, Jan. 197 00:10:19,715 --> 00:10:21,808 Hello, baby. How are you? 198 00:10:21,884 --> 00:10:23,943 Good to see you. Who's your daddy? 199 00:10:24,020 --> 00:10:25,715 You don't know who your daddy is, do you? 200 00:10:25,788 --> 00:10:27,653 No, you don't. Come on. Let's go in. 201 00:10:27,723 --> 00:10:29,748 When Michael told us that Jan was pregnant, 202 00:10:29,825 --> 00:10:32,589 he led us to believe that he was the father, 203 00:10:32,662 --> 00:10:35,256 by telling us that he was the father. 204 00:10:36,098 --> 00:10:37,463 Hey, Oscar. 205 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,634 Who's that woman in Michael's office with the feet? 206 00:10:40,703 --> 00:10:42,193 That's his ex. 207 00:10:42,571 --> 00:10:44,903 Oh. She's very beautiful. 208 00:10:44,974 --> 00:10:47,966 Yeah, she is. And clinically insane. 209 00:10:50,046 --> 00:10:54,005 So, listen, I don't know if your offer still stands or whatever, 210 00:10:54,083 --> 00:10:56,745 but you can give your yoga teacher my number. 211 00:10:56,852 --> 00:10:57,852 Okay. 212 00:10:57,920 --> 00:10:59,251 Listen, dummy, it's not that hard. 213 00:10:59,321 --> 00:11:02,256 All you have to do is take the numbers from the sales report 214 00:11:02,324 --> 00:11:04,292 and type them into a master spreadsheet. 215 00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:07,523 A GD monkey could do it. I do not understand why you can't do it! 216 00:11:07,596 --> 00:11:11,464 No! You do not talk to him like that! 217 00:11:11,534 --> 00:11:13,297 But he's an idiot. Hey. 218 00:11:13,369 --> 00:11:15,098 He is not an idiot. 219 00:11:15,171 --> 00:11:16,171 Thank you, Holly. 220 00:11:16,238 --> 00:11:18,172 He is mentally challenged. 221 00:11:19,308 --> 00:11:21,674 But he's doing a super job here. 222 00:11:21,744 --> 00:11:23,177 Wait, back up. 223 00:11:25,347 --> 00:11:27,679 Do you think that I'm retarded? 224 00:11:28,951 --> 00:11:32,978 What... No. Dwight. 225 00:11:34,423 --> 00:11:37,517 Oh, Holly, that is very offensive. 226 00:11:37,593 --> 00:11:38,890 I'm sorry. 227 00:11:52,141 --> 00:11:54,803 Hey, so, 228 00:11:54,877 --> 00:11:59,473 since my little lady has such particular, impossible-to-perceive taste, 229 00:11:59,548 --> 00:12:01,482 I've made non-refundable deposits 230 00:12:01,550 --> 00:12:03,916 at four totally different wedding locales. 231 00:12:04,487 --> 00:12:06,614 Hot air balloons over Napa Valley, 232 00:12:06,689 --> 00:12:09,453 world famous Walt Disney's Epcot Center, 233 00:12:09,558 --> 00:12:11,685 scuba diving wedding in the Bahamas 234 00:12:11,761 --> 00:12:14,389 and Wilkes-Barre Marriott Ballroom C. 235 00:12:15,097 --> 00:12:18,931 Dangerous, tacky, sharks, haunted. No. 236 00:12:20,669 --> 00:12:22,102 Hurry, we have to make this fast. 237 00:12:22,171 --> 00:12:23,900 Let's do this thing! 238 00:12:23,973 --> 00:12:24,997 Hey! 239 00:12:25,074 --> 00:12:28,305 I have a nice comforter and several cozy pillows. 240 00:12:28,377 --> 00:12:31,938 I usually read a chapter of a book and it's lights-out by 8:30. 241 00:12:32,014 --> 00:12:34,039 That's how I sleep at night. 242 00:12:34,383 --> 00:12:36,544 All right, I am connecting. 243 00:12:36,619 --> 00:12:40,055 And you are not there. 244 00:12:41,123 --> 00:12:42,784 Did you install it right? 245 00:12:42,858 --> 00:12:44,298 How about this? Go to applications... 246 00:12:46,128 --> 00:12:47,288 I can see you! 247 00:12:47,363 --> 00:12:49,593 All right! This is so cool! 248 00:12:49,665 --> 00:12:52,031 So what is going on, girl in the computer? 249 00:12:52,168 --> 00:12:53,863 Lunch with a girl from my hall. Uh-huh. 250 00:12:53,936 --> 00:12:56,734 Ceramics class, then dinner by myself. 251 00:12:56,806 --> 00:12:58,706 I'm going to watch HGTV, 252 00:12:58,774 --> 00:13:01,140 and maybe go to Bungalow 8 with John Mayer. 253 00:13:01,210 --> 00:13:02,810 Okay, can you turn the girl off, please? 254 00:13:02,812 --> 00:13:03,889 I'm trying to get some work done. 255 00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:08,009 No way! No way! Pam Beesly! Hello! 256 00:13:08,384 --> 00:13:09,384 Hey! 257 00:13:09,451 --> 00:13:10,782 Hey, everybody, look! Pam! 258 00:13:10,853 --> 00:13:12,445 Pam! Say hi! Say hi to Pam! 259 00:13:12,521 --> 00:13:13,647 Hi, Pam. 260 00:13:13,722 --> 00:13:15,246 Don't we all look skinny? 261 00:13:16,592 --> 00:13:17,820 Almost dropped you. 262 00:13:17,893 --> 00:13:19,604 Can you put me down? I'm getting a little nauseous. 263 00:13:19,628 --> 00:13:22,620 Pam, I would like you to meet Ronni. 264 00:13:23,232 --> 00:13:24,790 We call her "Rice-a-Ronni." 265 00:13:24,867 --> 00:13:27,427 She is hilarious, she is wonderful, 266 00:13:27,503 --> 00:13:31,530 a beam of light in this dark, dark office. 267 00:13:32,608 --> 00:13:34,337 Not really so much. 268 00:13:35,144 --> 00:13:38,944 All she does is plop herself down there and answer phones all day. 269 00:13:39,014 --> 00:13:40,174 The nerve. 270 00:13:40,249 --> 00:13:43,343 Calm down, weirdo. Just a joke. She's such a weirdo. 271 00:13:43,419 --> 00:13:45,717 You know what? My real beef with her, though, Pam, 272 00:13:45,788 --> 00:13:47,483 is that she can't find those little 273 00:13:47,556 --> 00:13:49,217 colored paperclips that I like so much. 274 00:13:49,325 --> 00:13:50,669 Would you help her find them, please? 275 00:13:50,693 --> 00:13:52,058 They're on the supply shelf. 276 00:13:52,127 --> 00:13:53,355 Let's go! Yeah. 277 00:13:53,429 --> 00:13:56,227 We are following Pam to the supply shelf. 278 00:13:57,132 --> 00:13:58,326 Let us go. 279 00:13:58,701 --> 00:14:00,191 New York is so exciting. 280 00:14:00,269 --> 00:14:02,863 I love my classes. The city is awesome. 281 00:14:04,907 --> 00:14:07,603 Can you give me back to Jim now please? 282 00:14:08,510 --> 00:14:11,240 Okay, everybody, let's suck in our guts. 283 00:14:13,983 --> 00:14:17,077 2,184 pounds for a grand... 284 00:14:17,152 --> 00:14:19,586 Oh. You all gained five pounds back. 285 00:14:19,655 --> 00:14:20,986 Damn it. Come on! 286 00:14:23,893 --> 00:14:25,360 Oh, my God. 287 00:14:32,334 --> 00:14:34,199 - Come on, Bernard. - Here we go. 288 00:14:34,270 --> 00:14:35,567 - Move it. - Everybody on. 289 00:14:35,638 --> 00:14:36,638 All right, we're set. 290 00:14:36,705 --> 00:14:39,265 Still good. You guys lost a pound. 291 00:14:40,542 --> 00:14:42,032 You lost one pound. 292 00:14:42,111 --> 00:14:45,205 I was on an IV for two days at the hospital. 293 00:14:45,281 --> 00:14:46,748 I lost four pounds. 294 00:14:46,815 --> 00:14:48,526 I don't know what those other fools were doing, 295 00:14:48,550 --> 00:14:49,949 but I lost four pounds. 296 00:14:50,352 --> 00:14:52,149 Angela, you'll go to the supermarket 297 00:14:52,221 --> 00:14:53,984 and get the New York cheesecake. 298 00:14:54,056 --> 00:14:55,990 Make sure it's the generic one. 299 00:14:56,058 --> 00:14:57,685 It's Stanley's favorite. 300 00:14:58,961 --> 00:15:02,829 Yes, I've replaced Angela as head of the Party Planning Committee. 301 00:15:02,898 --> 00:15:06,425 I guess I was just in the right place at the right time. 302 00:15:07,036 --> 00:15:08,230 How's it going? 303 00:15:08,304 --> 00:15:10,169 - It's going well. - Good. 304 00:15:10,239 --> 00:15:11,866 I have a crazy idea. 305 00:15:11,941 --> 00:15:15,104 What if we did fruit instead of cake? 306 00:15:15,177 --> 00:15:17,168 Cake? Who suggested cake? 307 00:15:18,180 --> 00:15:20,705 We lost weight today. I think it's okay 308 00:15:20,783 --> 00:15:22,648 to reward ourselves once in a while. 309 00:15:22,718 --> 00:15:24,049 Are you kidding me? 310 00:15:24,119 --> 00:15:26,019 We only lost one pound, Phyllis. 311 00:15:26,188 --> 00:15:28,520 What is wrong with these people? 312 00:15:28,958 --> 00:15:31,392 They have no willpower. I went... 313 00:15:32,127 --> 00:15:36,154 I once went 28 years without having sex. 314 00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:40,198 And then again for seven years. 315 00:15:41,103 --> 00:15:43,128 Does anyone have any idea 316 00:15:43,205 --> 00:15:46,800 what the number one cause of death is in this country? 317 00:15:46,875 --> 00:15:48,866 Shotgun weddings. That's not what that is. 318 00:15:48,944 --> 00:15:50,206 Fright. Being scared to death. 319 00:15:50,279 --> 00:15:51,405 No. 320 00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:53,425 Obesity-caused illnesses. Obesity-caused illnesses. 321 00:15:53,449 --> 00:15:55,144 Thank you. Holly is right. 322 00:15:55,217 --> 00:15:59,517 People, this is not just about winning some extra vacation days. 323 00:15:59,588 --> 00:16:05,618 This is about a very cool HR initiative that if we don't follow 324 00:16:05,694 --> 00:16:08,185 we are all going to die of obesity. 325 00:16:09,064 --> 00:16:10,241 So how much are we going to lose? 326 00:16:10,265 --> 00:16:11,994 I would like to lose 65 pounds. 327 00:16:12,067 --> 00:16:14,797 Yes! All right. Who else? 328 00:16:14,870 --> 00:16:17,100 Angela, can I put you down for 10 pounds? 329 00:16:17,172 --> 00:16:19,333 No. My doctor wants me to gain weight. 330 00:16:19,408 --> 00:16:21,171 If you gain weight, you will die. 331 00:16:21,243 --> 00:16:24,337 I want you to live forever. I want us all to live forever. 332 00:16:24,413 --> 00:16:25,744 How? How are we going to do this? 333 00:16:25,814 --> 00:16:28,248 Cryogenics. Beer me five. 334 00:16:28,784 --> 00:16:30,081 This is how we're going to do it. 335 00:16:30,152 --> 00:16:32,950 Five pounds. I'm asking each of you to lose five pounds. 336 00:16:33,022 --> 00:16:35,957 That, plus Jim's 65, 337 00:16:36,025 --> 00:16:38,186 give us a very good chance at winning this thing. 338 00:16:39,495 --> 00:16:41,292 All right, I'm taking off. 339 00:16:41,363 --> 00:16:43,558 Booty call. No, just going to see Pam. 340 00:16:43,632 --> 00:16:46,192 Maybe put up some shelves. Here. Wait a second. 341 00:16:46,268 --> 00:16:52,070 I don't want you to end up with a surprise pregnancy like me. 342 00:16:52,508 --> 00:16:54,976 Okay. Thank you for this. 343 00:16:55,044 --> 00:16:56,773 You want more? No. 344 00:16:58,447 --> 00:17:02,406 I don't know if there's any one place that has all these things. 345 00:17:02,584 --> 00:17:04,051 That's not my problem. 346 00:17:04,119 --> 00:17:07,748 "Thousand-year-old church in the continental United States." 347 00:17:07,823 --> 00:17:09,188 "There has to be a rainbow," 348 00:17:09,258 --> 00:17:10,458 "24 hour veterinarian on call." 349 00:17:11,593 --> 00:17:12,992 That is very important to me. 350 00:17:13,062 --> 00:17:15,530 So, I have work to do. Just do it. 351 00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:18,758 Sweetheart, 352 00:17:20,169 --> 00:17:23,434 just so you know, I don't care where we get married. 353 00:17:23,539 --> 00:17:25,769 I'll marry you right here in this building. 354 00:17:25,841 --> 00:17:27,365 I'll marry you in the parking lot. 355 00:17:27,443 --> 00:17:32,039 I'll marry you in the eye of a hurricane in the middle of a snow storm 356 00:17:32,114 --> 00:17:33,877 on top of a monsoon. 357 00:17:36,718 --> 00:17:38,242 All I care about is that we're going to 358 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:41,380 spend the rest of our lives together. 359 00:17:49,298 --> 00:17:51,994 I know I haven't made this easy on you. 360 00:18:11,253 --> 00:18:12,652 Hold on. 361 00:18:13,155 --> 00:18:14,383 Hi. Hi. 362 00:18:22,331 --> 00:18:26,563 Oh. So rude of me. Have you seen Pam's new art? 363 00:18:26,768 --> 00:18:29,066 It's right there. Check it out. 364 00:18:43,986 --> 00:18:46,477 It's a pretty lame party. 365 00:18:46,555 --> 00:18:48,580 Does anyone want to dance? 366 00:19:00,469 --> 00:19:02,369 Some girl came into Pam's room 367 00:19:02,437 --> 00:19:05,838 crying about her roommate stealing her soy milk. 368 00:19:05,908 --> 00:19:08,240 So I'm in here waiting it out. 369 00:19:09,578 --> 00:19:10,943 Stanley, Michael's not here. 370 00:19:11,013 --> 00:19:12,844 You can eat a slice of your birthday cake. 371 00:19:12,915 --> 00:19:14,746 I don't like cake anymore. 372 00:19:14,816 --> 00:19:16,215 Why not, dawg? 373 00:19:16,285 --> 00:19:20,016 Taste changed. Now all I like is baklava. 374 00:19:21,256 --> 00:19:23,451 Michael, we have a situation! 375 00:19:26,862 --> 00:19:29,296 They should not be in that room. 376 00:19:29,364 --> 00:19:30,844 That's so lame. They didn't invite us. 377 00:19:30,866 --> 00:19:32,094 You know what we should do? 378 00:19:32,167 --> 00:19:33,711 We should have a party and not invite them. 379 00:19:33,735 --> 00:19:36,295 Yeah. Let's go mini-golfing. 380 00:19:36,371 --> 00:19:37,371 Yeah? 381 00:19:37,439 --> 00:19:41,307 Oh, hey, could I have a rain check on the mini-golf? 382 00:19:41,376 --> 00:19:43,674 I actually have a date tonight. 383 00:19:46,615 --> 00:19:49,448 It'll probably be a total disaster, but... 384 00:19:50,452 --> 00:19:54,912 I think you'll have fun because men from Scranton are handsome 385 00:19:54,990 --> 00:19:57,481 and they know how to show a woman a good time. 386 00:19:57,559 --> 00:19:59,049 Not that guy who murdered his mother. 387 00:19:59,127 --> 00:20:01,357 He was not so handsome. 388 00:20:01,730 --> 00:20:03,129 Also Kevin. You know what? 389 00:20:03,198 --> 00:20:04,375 We're pretty much done here today. 390 00:20:04,399 --> 00:20:05,957 Why don't you just take off early? 391 00:20:06,034 --> 00:20:07,034 Really? Yeah. 392 00:20:07,102 --> 00:20:08,160 That's sweet. 393 00:20:09,171 --> 00:20:10,661 Wish me luck. Good luck. 394 00:20:10,739 --> 00:20:12,070 Hey. 395 00:20:12,140 --> 00:20:13,402 Holly doesn't need luck. 396 00:20:13,508 --> 00:20:16,170 Everyone that meets her instantly loves her. 397 00:20:16,245 --> 00:20:19,237 Party's over! You're so busted! 398 00:20:19,314 --> 00:20:21,179 Okay, everybody. 399 00:20:21,283 --> 00:20:24,218 Phyllis, did I or did I not say fruit? 400 00:20:24,286 --> 00:20:25,310 You said fruit, Michael. 401 00:20:25,387 --> 00:20:27,252 And what is that? 402 00:20:27,322 --> 00:20:28,380 Cake. 403 00:20:28,457 --> 00:20:30,657 You know, we're going to have to try a little bit harder 404 00:20:30,659 --> 00:20:32,889 if we are going to win this thing. 405 00:20:32,961 --> 00:20:34,929 Happy birthday, Stanley! 406 00:20:39,902 --> 00:20:42,666 It's kind of a good news, bad news situation. 407 00:20:42,738 --> 00:20:44,968 The bad news is, we're not doing very well, 408 00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:48,203 so we really had to starve ourselves this whole week. 409 00:20:48,277 --> 00:20:50,302 But the good news is that all the other branches 410 00:20:50,379 --> 00:20:52,108 are doing just as bad as we are, 411 00:20:52,181 --> 00:20:55,116 so corporate upped the prize to five days. 412 00:20:55,184 --> 00:20:56,947 So if we stay fat long enough, 413 00:20:57,019 --> 00:20:59,419 we may actually get a whole month off. 414 00:21:06,762 --> 00:21:08,491 What? Oh, nothing. 415 00:21:09,598 --> 00:21:11,759 It's just some of us are taking this really seriously. 416 00:21:12,168 --> 00:21:14,102 I swallowed a tapeworm last night. 417 00:21:14,170 --> 00:21:16,229 It's going to grow up to three feet inside of me 418 00:21:16,305 --> 00:21:18,933 and then it eats all my food so that I don't get fat. 419 00:21:19,008 --> 00:21:22,739 And then after three months, I take some medicine and then I pass it. 420 00:21:22,812 --> 00:21:25,440 Creed sold it to me. It's from Mexico. 421 00:21:25,915 --> 00:21:27,644 That wasn't a tapeworm. 422 00:21:30,386 --> 00:21:32,684 How's my favorite branch doing? 423 00:21:36,859 --> 00:21:38,190 All right. 424 00:21:43,132 --> 00:21:44,531 Ronni was... 425 00:21:45,167 --> 00:21:47,761 Things were at an all-time sad here. 426 00:21:47,837 --> 00:21:49,429 But then I got an e-mail from Ryan 427 00:21:49,505 --> 00:21:52,804 that he was coming back to town. And I called the temp agency 428 00:21:52,875 --> 00:21:56,470 and I told them, "I will pay you any amount. Just give me Ryan Howard." 429 00:21:56,545 --> 00:21:59,036 "Give him to me. I want him. I need him." 430 00:21:59,515 --> 00:22:00,515 And you got a goatee. 431 00:22:00,583 --> 00:22:01,583 I did. 432 00:22:01,650 --> 00:22:04,346 Did you get that after you helped me move and you saw mine? 433 00:22:04,420 --> 00:22:07,150 Yes. Goatee! 434 00:22:07,223 --> 00:22:10,021 Fired guy! 435 00:22:10,092 --> 00:22:11,389 Hey, Kevin. 436 00:22:12,461 --> 00:22:13,621 That's really funny. Yeah. 437 00:22:13,696 --> 00:22:15,323 It's great to see you, Kev. You, too. 438 00:22:15,397 --> 00:22:18,059 I'm keeping a list of everyone who wrongs me. 439 00:22:18,133 --> 00:22:21,000 So when I'm back on top, they'll be sorry. 440 00:22:21,070 --> 00:22:22,469 Kevin just made the list. 441 00:22:23,072 --> 00:22:24,130 Jim! 442 00:22:25,808 --> 00:22:29,369 I want to apologize for how I treated you last year. 443 00:22:29,445 --> 00:22:34,212 I lost sight of myself and now that I've quit the rat race, 444 00:22:34,283 --> 00:22:35,660 I realize there's so much more to life 445 00:22:35,684 --> 00:22:38,676 than being the youngest VP in the company's history. 446 00:22:38,754 --> 00:22:43,248 I've even started volunteering, giving back to the community. 447 00:22:43,325 --> 00:22:44,986 That's great. 448 00:22:45,661 --> 00:22:47,993 You're talking about your court-ordered community service? 449 00:22:48,063 --> 00:22:50,827 I don't need a judge to tell me to keep my community clean. 450 00:22:50,900 --> 00:22:52,663 But he did, right? 451 00:22:52,735 --> 00:22:54,600 All right. All right. 452 00:23:00,075 --> 00:23:04,273 Well, you lost zero pounds. No change. 453 00:23:04,346 --> 00:23:06,024 On the brighter side, you gained zero pounds. 454 00:23:06,048 --> 00:23:09,643 Hey, you know what? I can't do this by myself, people! 455 00:23:09,718 --> 00:23:13,484 Kelly and I are the only ones who've either passed out or almost passed out! 456 00:23:13,555 --> 00:23:14,920 Damn it, I need these five days 457 00:23:14,990 --> 00:23:16,821 for my honeymoon! Who is slacking? 458 00:23:16,892 --> 00:23:19,258 Okay, let's just all try and work harder, okay? 459 00:23:19,328 --> 00:23:20,955 No! I want names! 460 00:23:21,430 --> 00:23:25,389 This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my entire life. 461 00:23:26,635 --> 00:23:28,933 I haven't had a very hard life. 462 00:23:29,705 --> 00:23:30,831 So how was your date? 463 00:23:30,906 --> 00:23:32,134 8.5. 464 00:23:32,207 --> 00:23:34,505 I got a red wine stain on my favorite shirt. 465 00:23:34,576 --> 00:23:36,271 But he's cute, right? 466 00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:39,747 What's wrong? 467 00:23:46,255 --> 00:23:47,449 Mmm... 468 00:23:50,159 --> 00:23:51,251 Um... 469 00:23:52,594 --> 00:23:54,084 Close the door. 470 00:23:56,565 --> 00:23:58,192 This is your fault. No. 471 00:23:58,267 --> 00:24:00,167 Your stupid friend zone. 472 00:24:00,235 --> 00:24:04,069 I should have been lovers with her first and then friends. 473 00:24:04,139 --> 00:24:06,835 That was terrible advice. Terrible advice! 474 00:24:06,909 --> 00:24:08,774 You know my seduction method. 475 00:24:08,844 --> 00:24:11,642 I like to get in there and get my hands dirty. 476 00:24:11,714 --> 00:24:13,204 You sabotaged me. 477 00:24:13,282 --> 00:24:14,749 You sabotaged me, man! 478 00:24:15,351 --> 00:24:17,876 Attention! Attention! 479 00:24:17,953 --> 00:24:20,046 We only have a few weeks left 480 00:24:20,122 --> 00:24:23,785 and most of you are just as fat as the day we began. 481 00:24:23,859 --> 00:24:25,451 How much weight have you lost, Dwight? 482 00:24:25,527 --> 00:24:26,687 I am hardly the problem, Jim. 483 00:24:26,695 --> 00:24:27,806 No, you're definitely the problem. 484 00:24:27,830 --> 00:24:32,426 This is what I'm going to do. I'm going to randomly select three names 485 00:24:32,501 --> 00:24:35,436 and these three people will get liposuction. 486 00:24:35,537 --> 00:24:37,061 Um... 487 00:24:37,239 --> 00:24:41,835 Stanley, Phyllis, Kevin. And you will be responsible for your own medical bills. 488 00:24:43,712 --> 00:24:45,043 Kelly? 489 00:24:45,114 --> 00:24:47,878 Hello, Ryan. You look well. 490 00:24:47,950 --> 00:24:51,750 I wanted to say I'm sorry for treating you bad the past couple of years. 491 00:24:51,820 --> 00:24:56,689 I was in my mid-20s and I was going through a lot of stuff. 492 00:24:56,759 --> 00:24:59,887 I think I never really processed 9l11. 493 00:24:59,995 --> 00:25:02,020 I want you to know I've changed. 494 00:25:02,097 --> 00:25:03,155 Cool. 495 00:25:03,232 --> 00:25:06,258 We should get a drink later, catch up. 496 00:25:06,335 --> 00:25:07,700 Pick me up around 8:00? 497 00:25:08,037 --> 00:25:10,232 That is so sweet. 498 00:25:10,305 --> 00:25:15,174 Um, but I'm dating Darryl still and we're like crazy in love, so... 499 00:25:17,679 --> 00:25:18,771 Cool. 500 00:25:21,950 --> 00:25:24,145 Well, maybe I'll see you around. 501 00:25:24,219 --> 00:25:25,811 It's a small office. 502 00:25:25,888 --> 00:25:26,980 Yeah. 503 00:25:31,360 --> 00:25:34,056 Hey, Phyllis, do you have a minute? 504 00:25:34,129 --> 00:25:38,259 Listen, I'm really sorry about what I said before. 505 00:25:38,734 --> 00:25:39,826 Okay? 506 00:25:40,335 --> 00:25:42,200 I was way out of line. 507 00:25:43,072 --> 00:25:44,232 Yes, you were. 508 00:25:44,306 --> 00:25:47,002 But you know what? I want to make it up to you. 509 00:25:47,076 --> 00:25:51,479 There is a surefire sale, but it's a two-man job. Interested? 510 00:25:54,550 --> 00:25:56,347 Split the commission? 511 00:25:58,253 --> 00:25:59,652 Sixty-forty. 512 00:26:02,324 --> 00:26:03,689 I'll drive. 513 00:26:19,708 --> 00:26:23,075 Dieting is only half of it. Mmm-hmm. Saunas. 514 00:26:23,145 --> 00:26:24,669 And exercise. 515 00:26:24,746 --> 00:26:27,647 Although I know everybody loves going to the gym. 516 00:26:27,716 --> 00:26:29,308 The dreadmill. 517 00:26:30,652 --> 00:26:35,715 Probably the weirdest thing about Pam being gone will be lunch, actually. 518 00:26:35,791 --> 00:26:38,954 But it will force me to become acquaintances 519 00:26:39,027 --> 00:26:41,962 with people I consider co-workers. 520 00:26:43,632 --> 00:26:44,792 Oh, my God. 521 00:26:44,867 --> 00:26:47,529 Okay, everybody just act normal. Don't say anything. 522 00:26:47,603 --> 00:26:48,603 What? 523 00:26:48,670 --> 00:26:50,797 My ex-girlfriend, she's right behind you. 524 00:26:50,873 --> 00:26:52,363 Really? Where? Just hide me. 525 00:26:52,441 --> 00:26:54,170 No, no, don't look. 526 00:26:55,544 --> 00:26:57,603 Wow, was it the age difference? 527 00:26:57,679 --> 00:26:59,112 Actually, kind of, yes. 528 00:26:59,181 --> 00:27:01,741 I just didn't like eating dinner that early. 529 00:27:05,487 --> 00:27:08,752 Hey, Jim. Listen, can I call you back in a little bit? 530 00:27:08,824 --> 00:27:10,382 I made friends. 531 00:27:14,530 --> 00:27:16,054 Are you insane? Hey, hey. 532 00:27:16,131 --> 00:27:17,291 What happened? 533 00:27:17,366 --> 00:27:18,833 There was no client. 534 00:27:18,901 --> 00:27:21,335 Dwight drove me to an abandoned warehouse five miles away 535 00:27:21,403 --> 00:27:23,701 and pushed me out of the car. 536 00:27:23,772 --> 00:27:26,400 I had to walk home with no money and no phone. 537 00:27:26,475 --> 00:27:29,501 And you burned over a thousand calories walking home, 538 00:27:29,578 --> 00:27:33,912 and this branch just got a little bit closer to winning the contest. 539 00:27:33,982 --> 00:27:35,449 Phyllis Vance, ladies and gentlemen. 540 00:27:35,517 --> 00:27:38,145 You left me in a bad part of town. 541 00:27:38,220 --> 00:27:41,519 Yeah, I took your purse. What are you worried about? 542 00:27:42,424 --> 00:27:44,449 You look great. 543 00:27:44,526 --> 00:27:46,960 I can definitely see the difference. 544 00:27:47,129 --> 00:27:49,188 Phyllis Vance for David Wallace. 545 00:27:52,267 --> 00:27:53,894 "Dunder Mifflin wants to make it clear" 546 00:27:53,969 --> 00:27:56,437 "that Dunder Mifflin does not discriminate" 547 00:27:56,505 --> 00:27:58,996 "nor does it condone unhealthy dieting habits" 548 00:27:59,074 --> 00:28:01,099 "or extreme weight loss strategies," 549 00:28:01,176 --> 00:28:03,144 "as was clearly stated in the official..." 550 00:28:03,212 --> 00:28:07,114 Oh, bang, boom, shake, klump! 551 00:28:07,182 --> 00:28:10,117 Why, hello, everybody. 552 00:28:10,652 --> 00:28:12,745 What are you doing? Fair question. 553 00:28:12,821 --> 00:28:16,222 I say, I say, I say, sit down, Holly! 554 00:28:16,858 --> 00:28:18,758 I'll take it from here. 555 00:28:19,528 --> 00:28:22,361 I am beautiful. 556 00:28:25,267 --> 00:28:27,827 They are beautiful. 557 00:28:29,238 --> 00:28:36,007 He is beautiful. This big fat pig is beautiful. 558 00:28:36,878 --> 00:28:38,641 It's my sumo suit. 559 00:28:38,714 --> 00:28:40,091 I just didn't inflate it all the way. 560 00:28:40,115 --> 00:28:44,176 I'm so glad that I bought instead of rented. 561 00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:46,285 Body image. 562 00:28:47,356 --> 00:28:50,382 We are here because there is something wrong with society. 563 00:28:50,459 --> 00:28:52,804 See, you're always saying there's something wrong with society, 564 00:28:52,828 --> 00:28:54,887 but maybe there's something wrong with you. 565 00:28:54,963 --> 00:28:57,659 If it's me, then society made me that way. 566 00:28:57,733 --> 00:28:59,711 Now, I know a lot of you are probably asking yourself, 567 00:28:59,735 --> 00:29:03,262 "Why are you dressed in a plus-size suit?" 568 00:29:03,338 --> 00:29:05,533 Because you're kind of doing Michael Klump. 569 00:29:05,607 --> 00:29:06,869 How do you know Michael Klump? 570 00:29:06,942 --> 00:29:09,020 Because it's your "making fun of fat people" character. 571 00:29:09,044 --> 00:29:10,534 How dare you! 572 00:29:10,612 --> 00:29:13,809 Michael Klump is a celebration of fat people. 573 00:29:13,882 --> 00:29:16,544 I think of him as more like a monster. 574 00:29:16,618 --> 00:29:19,280 What about, "I say, I say, I say, I'll sit on you"? 575 00:29:19,354 --> 00:29:23,085 No, no. It goes... Look. "I say, I say, I say, I'll sit on you." 576 00:29:23,158 --> 00:29:24,955 No! No! No! No! No! You know what? 577 00:29:25,060 --> 00:29:28,552 Fat people are not monsters. 578 00:29:28,630 --> 00:29:32,498 Why don't you guys have a little more sensitivity to the subject? 579 00:29:32,567 --> 00:29:34,728 Bang, boom, case in point. 580 00:29:34,803 --> 00:29:36,214 Look at the outside of this building. 581 00:29:36,238 --> 00:29:37,569 It is ugly. 582 00:29:37,639 --> 00:29:41,166 But you come inside and it is beautiful. 583 00:29:42,611 --> 00:29:45,512 Just like this unappealing fat suit. 584 00:29:45,580 --> 00:29:50,176 Inside is a rather handsome, sexy man. 585 00:29:50,252 --> 00:29:51,276 Vamping. 586 00:29:51,353 --> 00:29:53,787 Hey, why don't you just sit down, please? 587 00:29:53,855 --> 00:29:54,895 I've been sitting all day. 588 00:29:54,956 --> 00:29:56,287 We're doing this because of you. 589 00:29:56,358 --> 00:29:59,350 So why don't you just go stand somewhere else? 590 00:30:00,595 --> 00:30:03,086 Hey, hey, shaved? 591 00:30:03,165 --> 00:30:04,996 I did. Why? 592 00:30:08,036 --> 00:30:10,334 So in the year 2000, 593 00:30:10,405 --> 00:30:15,308 fungus and even black mold was discovered growing in the cave. 594 00:30:15,377 --> 00:30:17,470 Some blame it on the new air conditioning system 595 00:30:17,546 --> 00:30:20,811 that was installed, some on the high-powered lights. 596 00:30:20,882 --> 00:30:23,077 Others feel that fungus is due to an overgrowth... 597 00:30:25,354 --> 00:30:27,288 Nice. Quiet, please. 598 00:30:27,356 --> 00:30:28,846 Sorry. Sorry. 599 00:30:29,191 --> 00:30:31,887 Dwight, I would like you to apologize 600 00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:33,894 to this beautiful, beautiful woman 601 00:30:33,962 --> 00:30:35,452 for forcing her to walk five miles, 602 00:30:35,530 --> 00:30:37,998 which, for her, is basically a death march. 603 00:30:38,066 --> 00:30:41,297 She should thank me. Okay, Phyllis, thank Dwight first. 604 00:30:41,370 --> 00:30:42,769 Why should I have to thank him? 605 00:30:42,838 --> 00:30:44,315 You're right. You're right! Just... Dwight, do it. 606 00:30:44,339 --> 00:30:45,567 Just say it, okay? 607 00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:49,076 I apologize for creating a ruse which forced you to exercise. 608 00:30:49,144 --> 00:30:51,806 Finally. Right? Okay. 609 00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:54,280 Phyllis, you must be exhausted from standing on those gams. 610 00:30:54,349 --> 00:30:56,943 Why don't you have a seat? Let's all clap at Phyllis. 611 00:30:57,018 --> 00:31:02,513 Okay! Michael Klump wants to remind you that corporate, 612 00:31:03,525 --> 00:31:06,585 their idea, yes, was to urge you to lose weight. 613 00:31:06,661 --> 00:31:09,095 But more importantly, what this whole thing is about, 614 00:31:09,164 --> 00:31:11,724 this contest is really about being healthy. 615 00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:15,998 And in order to be healthy, you have to eat. Kelly. Kelly... 616 00:31:19,307 --> 00:31:22,208 Kelly, I want you to stand up on your chair. 617 00:31:22,277 --> 00:31:23,917 Come on. Stand up on your chair. Stand up. 618 00:31:23,945 --> 00:31:27,005 Stand up. Stand up. Somebody help her. 619 00:31:27,082 --> 00:31:29,949 Here we go. Okay. I want you to look at her. 620 00:31:30,018 --> 00:31:32,714 She's a beautiful Indian woman. 621 00:31:32,788 --> 00:31:34,756 Why? What makes her beautiful? 622 00:31:34,823 --> 00:31:37,383 Everything. She's perfect. 623 00:31:37,459 --> 00:31:38,459 I like her nails. 624 00:31:38,527 --> 00:31:39,721 Okay, be more specific. 625 00:31:39,795 --> 00:31:41,319 I like her fingernails. 626 00:31:41,396 --> 00:31:42,863 I like her purple dress. 627 00:31:42,931 --> 00:31:44,228 What about her looks? 628 00:31:44,299 --> 00:31:45,561 Hell of an ass. 629 00:31:46,701 --> 00:31:48,066 What else do people like? 630 00:31:48,737 --> 00:31:51,228 I wonder what people like about me. 631 00:31:53,208 --> 00:31:54,698 Probably my jugs. 632 00:31:55,177 --> 00:31:57,645 Kelly, will you just agree to stop this madness 633 00:31:57,712 --> 00:32:00,237 and stop trying to kill yourself? 634 00:32:00,315 --> 00:32:02,408 I hate dieting. I hate it so much. 635 00:32:02,484 --> 00:32:04,543 I hate this worm inside of me. 636 00:32:04,619 --> 00:32:07,281 I want you to know... Kelly, look at me. 637 00:32:07,355 --> 00:32:09,949 I want you to know that you are beautiful. 638 00:32:10,025 --> 00:32:11,856 You are truly, truly beautiful. 639 00:32:12,727 --> 00:32:14,217 Give me a hug. 640 00:32:16,364 --> 00:32:17,490 Mmm... 641 00:32:18,333 --> 00:32:19,425 Summer's going great. 642 00:32:19,501 --> 00:32:22,197 Just spent two hours listening to Michael Klump. 643 00:32:22,270 --> 00:32:26,172 I have a weird pain in my left side that I'm convinced is an ulcer. 644 00:32:26,241 --> 00:32:27,640 My girlfriend lives in New York, 645 00:32:27,709 --> 00:32:30,507 and I haven't seen her in 10 days. 646 00:32:30,579 --> 00:32:32,012 How's your summer? 647 00:32:40,055 --> 00:32:42,546 Hey, Ryan, look. Shaved off my goatee. 648 00:32:42,624 --> 00:32:45,821 I am goatee-less. We are the goatee-less brothers. 649 00:32:46,962 --> 00:32:48,020 Yep. 650 00:32:50,465 --> 00:32:51,830 How was Friday night? 651 00:32:51,900 --> 00:32:53,629 Oh, I had a good time. 652 00:32:53,702 --> 00:32:56,603 But it's been three days and no call. 653 00:32:57,539 --> 00:33:01,031 I even have two tickets to see Counting Crows for tonight, so... 654 00:33:01,109 --> 00:33:02,109 He'll call. 655 00:33:02,177 --> 00:33:03,735 Oscar, enough of the girl talk, please. 656 00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:07,180 You guys lost four pounds. Hey. 657 00:33:07,249 --> 00:33:08,409 I say we have a parade. 658 00:33:08,483 --> 00:33:09,814 - Excellent. - We better. 659 00:33:09,885 --> 00:33:10,885 Good job. 660 00:33:11,119 --> 00:33:14,816 So, as it turns out, tonight is my nephew's tee ball game 661 00:33:14,890 --> 00:33:17,484 and I kind of missed the first three, so... 662 00:33:17,559 --> 00:33:19,119 You've already disappointed him so much. 663 00:33:19,194 --> 00:33:20,991 He can't be expecting a lot from you. 664 00:33:21,062 --> 00:33:22,359 I know. I suck. 665 00:33:22,430 --> 00:33:23,692 Yes, you do. 666 00:33:23,798 --> 00:33:24,798 Dwight says hi. 667 00:33:24,866 --> 00:33:27,528 I do not. I do not say hi, Pam. 668 00:33:27,602 --> 00:33:28,762 He's saying hi louder. 669 00:33:28,837 --> 00:33:31,829 All right, listen, we're still good for this weekend, right? 670 00:33:31,907 --> 00:33:35,001 No tee ball games, recitals, karate tournaments. 671 00:33:36,845 --> 00:33:38,608 Hey, can you go to IM? Okay. 672 00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:39,772 Okay. 673 00:33:45,987 --> 00:33:48,217 What are you writing about me? 674 00:33:59,067 --> 00:34:01,365 I'm going to write you both up for not working. 675 00:34:01,436 --> 00:34:03,165 I'm going to write you up for not working. 676 00:34:05,273 --> 00:34:06,934 Okay. Well played. 677 00:34:08,076 --> 00:34:11,512 Neither of us will write the other up for not working. 678 00:34:37,439 --> 00:34:40,636 Yeah? Oh, hey. Did he call? 679 00:34:40,709 --> 00:34:42,802 I just got... Kendall? I just got off... No, no. 680 00:34:42,877 --> 00:34:45,971 Did... I heard you talking to Oscar about that guy. 681 00:34:46,047 --> 00:34:47,407 What... What happened? Did he call? 682 00:34:47,415 --> 00:34:48,643 Oh. No. 683 00:34:48,717 --> 00:34:50,207 Really? No. 684 00:34:50,285 --> 00:34:51,885 And you know what? I even got two tickets 685 00:34:51,886 --> 00:34:54,411 to see the Counting Crows tonight as a surprise. 686 00:34:54,489 --> 00:34:56,729 Why do guys not call when they say they're going to call? 687 00:34:56,791 --> 00:35:00,852 I don't know. I always call everybody back right away. 688 00:35:00,929 --> 00:35:02,049 But he'll call back, though. 689 00:35:02,063 --> 00:35:03,240 Give him until the end of the day. 690 00:35:03,264 --> 00:35:04,356 He'll call. He'll call. 691 00:35:04,432 --> 00:35:07,458 If he doesn't, he is loco. 692 00:35:07,535 --> 00:35:09,730 Thanks. That's sweet. 693 00:35:09,804 --> 00:35:15,174 Anyways, it seems like we lost to Utica by only eight pounds. 694 00:35:16,444 --> 00:35:18,537 Well, at least everyone lost weight. 695 00:35:18,613 --> 00:35:20,171 That's all that really matters. 696 00:35:20,248 --> 00:35:23,183 Wait, could we have till the end of the day? 697 00:35:24,119 --> 00:35:27,247 So we're only eight pounds behind Utica. 698 00:35:27,322 --> 00:35:28,619 Now, I know it's a stretch, 699 00:35:28,690 --> 00:35:31,784 but we could weigh ourselves again at the end of the day 700 00:35:31,893 --> 00:35:33,622 and maybe win this thing after all. 701 00:35:33,695 --> 00:35:35,287 Leave it to me, boss. 702 00:35:35,363 --> 00:35:38,025 I can get this whole office to make weight. 703 00:35:43,938 --> 00:35:46,702 It's going to be a little toasty in here. 704 00:35:47,475 --> 00:35:49,136 Good old-fashioned sweat lodge. 705 00:35:49,411 --> 00:35:51,072 Andy Bernard does not lose contests. 706 00:35:51,146 --> 00:35:52,943 He wins them. 707 00:35:53,014 --> 00:35:55,744 Or he quits them because they're unfair. 708 00:36:00,789 --> 00:36:03,349 Hey, is that healthy food? 709 00:36:03,425 --> 00:36:04,449 Nope. 710 00:36:04,526 --> 00:36:07,689 We're trying to win a contest here, Kelly. Please. 711 00:36:07,762 --> 00:36:09,762 Hey, Michael, I just scheduled lunch with a client, 712 00:36:09,798 --> 00:36:11,197 so I might be back a little late. 713 00:36:11,266 --> 00:36:13,928 Okay, that is fine. 714 00:36:14,002 --> 00:36:15,993 Just water and be back by weigh-in. Okay? 715 00:36:16,071 --> 00:36:17,265 Perfect. 716 00:36:24,345 --> 00:36:27,007 I hate to even ask because you've been so accommodating 717 00:36:27,082 --> 00:36:30,711 about all the wedding stuff... Your wish is my command. 718 00:36:31,386 --> 00:36:35,254 Is there any way our first dance can be to my favorite song? 719 00:36:35,323 --> 00:36:37,587 The Little Drummer Boy. 720 00:36:37,659 --> 00:36:38,751 Of course. 721 00:36:38,827 --> 00:36:41,387 Really? Yeah! I mean, it's a great song. 722 00:36:41,463 --> 00:36:43,174 I always thought it was bigger than Christmas, 723 00:36:43,198 --> 00:36:44,790 anyway, you know? Mmm-hmm. 724 00:36:44,866 --> 00:36:46,177 And you know what? The guys already know it, 725 00:36:46,201 --> 00:36:47,327 so it's easy breezy. 726 00:36:47,402 --> 00:36:48,630 The guys? 727 00:36:49,571 --> 00:36:51,334 I didn't tell you. 728 00:36:51,406 --> 00:36:53,271 Here Comes Treble, class of '96, 729 00:36:53,341 --> 00:36:54,831 was available for our big day, 730 00:36:54,909 --> 00:36:57,400 so I booked them. 731 00:36:57,479 --> 00:36:58,503 I don't think that... 732 00:36:58,580 --> 00:37:00,810 And they're collectively my best man. 733 00:37:00,882 --> 00:37:05,376 And they're crashing with us for three weeks, so it totally works out. 734 00:37:05,453 --> 00:37:08,149 I don't know if I want your old college a cappella group 735 00:37:08,223 --> 00:37:10,282 to be our wedding band. 736 00:37:14,863 --> 00:37:19,027 Okay, I hear you, sweetheart, but this is a deal breaker. 737 00:37:23,772 --> 00:37:26,070 But you know what? You're going to love these guys. 738 00:37:26,141 --> 00:37:31,545 Carl I, Carl II, Broccoli Rob, Spare Rib, Doobie, Lunchbox. 739 00:37:31,613 --> 00:37:33,740 Boner Champ, that's me, 740 00:37:33,815 --> 00:37:38,275 Pubey Lewis and the News, Hopscotch, Jingle Jangle, Sandwich. 741 00:37:39,254 --> 00:37:41,984 These are the best best men a guy could ever hope for. 742 00:37:43,625 --> 00:37:45,991 Let's talk about this later. Okay. 743 00:38:07,816 --> 00:38:11,377 Hey, this is not halfway. 744 00:38:11,452 --> 00:38:14,979 I did the math. I had to drive way longer than you. 745 00:38:15,056 --> 00:38:18,753 Montclair would have been closer, so you have to buy lunch. 746 00:38:20,728 --> 00:38:22,457 What are you doing? 747 00:38:23,064 --> 00:38:26,158 I just can't wait. 748 00:38:26,234 --> 00:38:27,531 Oh, my God. 749 00:38:30,872 --> 00:38:32,931 Pam, will you marry me? 750 00:38:33,007 --> 00:38:34,269 Oh, my God! 751 00:38:37,078 --> 00:38:38,102 So? 752 00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:40,538 Yes. 753 00:38:51,459 --> 00:38:54,485 God! Where is Jim? 754 00:38:54,562 --> 00:38:56,154 I'm calling it. 755 00:38:56,231 --> 00:38:58,722 I guess that's curtains for the yoga guy. 756 00:38:58,800 --> 00:38:59,800 Oh, really? 757 00:38:59,868 --> 00:39:00,868 Yeah. 758 00:39:00,935 --> 00:39:03,631 I have to say, I think the problem with that whole thing... 759 00:39:03,705 --> 00:39:04,705 Yeah? 760 00:39:04,772 --> 00:39:06,967 Was that he was a complete stupid idiot. 761 00:39:08,476 --> 00:39:10,137 Oh, man, I really wanted to see them. 762 00:39:10,211 --> 00:39:11,235 I know. 763 00:39:11,312 --> 00:39:12,643 I love... I love Counting Crows. 764 00:39:12,714 --> 00:39:14,682 Look where my seats were. 765 00:39:14,749 --> 00:39:16,478 Wow! Really? Yeah. 766 00:39:16,551 --> 00:39:17,882 That's a shame. 767 00:39:18,753 --> 00:39:21,278 Shame to waste these. 768 00:39:22,724 --> 00:39:24,851 I want to buy them from you. 769 00:39:26,661 --> 00:39:28,595 Michael, you don't have to buy them. I do. No... 770 00:39:28,663 --> 00:39:32,224 I do. I... I want to. Trust me, I really do. 771 00:39:33,902 --> 00:39:34,994 Okay. 772 00:39:35,069 --> 00:39:36,832 Okay? Yeah. 773 00:39:36,905 --> 00:39:38,167 All right. 774 00:39:39,307 --> 00:39:40,638 All right. 775 00:39:43,578 --> 00:39:48,572 Just... I want you to just forget about him, okay? Case closed. 776 00:39:51,085 --> 00:39:52,211 Can I pay you tomorrow? 777 00:39:52,287 --> 00:39:55,154 I have like a $60 limit on my ATM, so... 778 00:39:55,223 --> 00:39:57,453 Yeah. Is that good? 779 00:39:57,525 --> 00:39:58,549 Hey. Sorry, everybody. 780 00:39:58,626 --> 00:39:59,670 Hey, what are you smiling about there, 781 00:39:59,694 --> 00:40:01,958 smiley pants? You're late. 782 00:40:02,030 --> 00:40:03,292 Wet Tuna. 783 00:40:04,265 --> 00:40:05,732 - Hey, Dwight. - Okay. 784 00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:06,994 What's up, Meredith? Nothing. 785 00:40:07,068 --> 00:40:08,092 You're dripping on me. 786 00:40:08,169 --> 00:40:09,602 Darryl, would you do the honors? 787 00:40:09,671 --> 00:40:11,400 2,175. 788 00:40:12,540 --> 00:40:13,802 Sorry, guys. No, no, no. No, no. 789 00:40:13,875 --> 00:40:15,433 I don't want to hear moaning. 790 00:40:15,510 --> 00:40:16,909 This is a good day. 791 00:40:16,978 --> 00:40:19,572 You guys accomplished something big. 792 00:40:19,647 --> 00:40:23,777 You lost a ton of weight, literally, a lot of weight. 793 00:40:24,352 --> 00:40:26,286 And I don't care what any stupid scale says, 794 00:40:26,354 --> 00:40:29,084 you guys are all gigantic losers. 795 00:40:30,625 --> 00:40:32,388 I don't know about anyone else, 796 00:40:32,460 --> 00:40:34,189 but it was a good summer for me. 797 00:40:34,262 --> 00:40:36,526 I lost seven pounds. 798 00:40:36,597 --> 00:40:37,996 And you know what? 799 00:40:38,066 --> 00:40:41,092 I'm just going to take five days off anyway. 800 00:40:58,252 --> 00:41:02,188 I went zip lining my third day in Costa Rica. 801 00:41:02,256 --> 00:41:06,317 I guess the harness wasn't strapped in exactly right. 802 00:41:06,394 --> 00:41:09,454 I broke my neck. And... 803 00:41:10,999 --> 00:41:13,797 I've been in the hospital five weeks now. 804 00:41:15,503 --> 00:41:17,801 I still haven't seen the beach. 805 00:41:19,707 --> 00:41:21,800 It's nice to have visitors. 806 00:41:22,935 --> 00:41:32,935 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/3tfbs Help other users to choose the best subtitles