1
00:00:05,947 --> 00:00:07,313
Hey, Michael?
Yeah?

2
00:00:07,383 --> 00:00:09,046
Contractions are coming
every 10 minutes.

3
00:00:09,120 --> 00:00:11,056
Okay, just remember
to keep breathing.

4
00:00:11,124 --> 00:00:13,857
My cervix is ripening.
Okay, good.

5
00:00:13,930 --> 00:00:16,662
Jan is about to have a baby
with a sperm donor,

6
00:00:16,735 --> 00:00:21,370
and Michael is preparing for the
birth of a watermelon with Dwight.

7
00:00:21,445 --> 00:00:24,976
Now this baby will be
related to Michael through...

8
00:00:26,956 --> 00:00:28,083
Delusion.

9
00:00:28,258 --> 00:00:29,521
Michael!
Yeah?

10
00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:31,895
My water's breaking!
Okay. Okay.

11
00:00:31,966 --> 00:00:33,936
What do you do?
What do you do?

12
00:00:34,003 --> 00:00:35,983
I get a call from Jan,
and I meet her at the hospital.

13
00:00:36,007 --> 00:00:37,806
Right. Highways
or surface roads?

14
00:00:37,878 --> 00:00:39,244
I take Quincy Ave to Gibson.

15
00:00:39,314 --> 00:00:40,783
No. Gibson is covered
in potholes.

16
00:00:40,851 --> 00:00:41,932
Your car breaks down.
Adapt.

17
00:00:41,986 --> 00:00:43,631
I checked the route.
There are no potholes.

18
00:00:43,655 --> 00:00:45,557
It's about adapting
to the circumstances.

19
00:00:45,626 --> 00:00:47,927
Andy, would you like to have my baby?
Yes! Yeah.

20
00:00:47,998 --> 00:00:49,159
No. Okay, no.

21
00:00:49,234 --> 00:00:52,400
I'm crowning. I'm crowning!
All right. Come on. Sorry.

22
00:00:52,473 --> 00:00:54,033
Here we go.
Here we go. Here we go.

23
00:00:54,110 --> 00:00:55,169
- The pressure!
- Do it!

24
00:00:55,246 --> 00:00:57,979
The pressure! Scream.
Scream it out! Scream it out!

25
00:00:59,521 --> 00:01:01,890
Babies are one of my
many areas of expertise.

26
00:01:01,959 --> 00:01:04,122
Growing up, I performed
my own circumcision.

27
00:01:04,197 --> 00:01:05,392
Just keep pushing.
Hold me.

28
00:01:05,466 --> 00:01:07,493
I'm right here.
I'm right here. Cradle my head!

29
00:01:07,570 --> 00:01:09,335
I'm right here.
I'm screaming. I'm screaming!

30
00:01:09,407 --> 00:01:11,172
I'm screaming!
All right. Dwight.

31
00:01:11,244 --> 00:01:13,510
Just push and breathe.
Numb me up. I want anesthesia.

32
00:01:13,582 --> 00:01:15,051
No,
you can't have it. It's too late.

33
00:01:15,119 --> 00:01:16,451
No, I don't want natural.

34
00:01:16,521 --> 00:01:18,491
No, you have to just push it out.
Okay.

35
00:01:18,559 --> 00:01:20,529
Keep simulating. Okay.

36
00:01:20,596 --> 00:01:22,327
Do you have the Sharpie?
Keep simulating.

37
00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:23,869
Do you have the Sharpie?
Yes, I do.

38
00:01:23,937 --> 00:01:27,671
Okay! When the baby emerges,
mark it secretly in a kind of a mark

39
00:01:27,743 --> 00:01:30,386
that only you could recognize and
no baby snatcher could ever copy.

40
00:01:30,449 --> 00:01:31,782
Okay. Yes.
Ready?

41
00:01:31,853 --> 00:01:34,722
Okay.
Coming! Here we go!

42
00:01:34,792 --> 00:01:37,456
God. Wow,
what was on that?

43
00:01:37,530 --> 00:01:39,762
Butter. Newborns
are slippery.

44
00:01:39,969 --> 00:01:41,836
Nice touch. Good.
Let's try that again.

45
00:01:44,444 --> 00:01:47,541
This is going to be
the happiest day of my life.

46
00:01:48,878 --> 00:01:54,958
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org

47
00:02:13,635 --> 00:02:16,266
Hello, ladies.
How is my shower going?

48
00:02:17,009 --> 00:02:19,673
Phyllis, did you get the live storks?
No.

49
00:02:19,747 --> 00:02:22,048
Damn it, Phyllis.
I'm sorry.

50
00:02:22,888 --> 00:02:26,691
Damn it, Phyllis, it was hard
enough to convince Jan to come.

51
00:02:28,098 --> 00:02:30,591
So are we set for refreshments?

52
00:02:30,669 --> 00:02:33,505
Per your instructions
we have the personalized M&M's

53
00:02:33,575 --> 00:02:37,880
with the baby names. This is your
boy bowl with the name Chevy.

54
00:02:37,951 --> 00:02:38,976
That was me.

55
00:02:39,053 --> 00:02:43,016
And this is the girl bowl with
M&M's with the name Astird.

56
00:02:43,796 --> 00:02:46,266
That can't be right.
Michael wrote down "Astird."

57
00:02:46,334 --> 00:02:49,865
She said it is the name
of a Viking princess, so...

58
00:02:49,942 --> 00:02:53,108
Astird.
I know. I know.

59
00:02:53,181 --> 00:02:56,951
It is beautiful.
No, thank you. Is this it?

60
00:02:57,023 --> 00:03:01,157
I mean, is this...
Two bowls of M&M's and some balloons?

61
00:03:01,231 --> 00:03:03,599
You know what, Phyllis?
I think you need to step it up.

62
00:03:03,668 --> 00:03:05,110
I think you need
to get the lead out,

63
00:03:05,139 --> 00:03:08,475
because if I'm not mistaken,
we gave you your wedding shower here.

64
00:03:08,545 --> 00:03:12,315
We all came into this room
and gave you a golden shower.

65
00:03:12,386 --> 00:03:15,826
Well, you know what,
where's my golden shower, Phyllis?

66
00:03:15,994 --> 00:03:20,458
It does not matter to me at all
whether this baby is biologically mine.

67
00:03:20,536 --> 00:03:25,980
I'm going to love it. It's like
when the dog nurses the tiger cub.

68
00:03:26,047 --> 00:03:28,040
Have you seen that video?

69
00:03:28,452 --> 00:03:34,419
It is... It's so bizarre
and unnatural,

70
00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:38,729
but it happens.

71
00:03:40,209 --> 00:03:42,372
Okay, I'm collecting
for the baby shower.

72
00:03:42,446 --> 00:03:44,815
But, Phyllis, it's not his baby.

73
00:03:44,885 --> 00:03:46,787
I know, Kevin.
Why do we have to pay money

74
00:03:46,856 --> 00:03:50,659
to get a gift for his ex-girlfriend's
unborn sperm-bank baby?

75
00:03:50,830 --> 00:03:54,564
Look at it as if you're paying for
the cake, not the baby. Sheet cake.

76
00:03:54,637 --> 00:03:57,734
I do enjoy being the head of
the Party Planning Committee.

77
00:03:57,811 --> 00:04:01,682
I'm no longer under Angela's heel,
and her little grape head is under mine.

78
00:04:01,751 --> 00:04:04,382
Hey. Hey. What are you doing?
Don't talk to them.

79
00:04:04,457 --> 00:04:06,188
I'm sorry.
Make the party.

80
00:04:06,261 --> 00:04:09,062
Don't... Make the party,
please, Phyllis.

81
00:04:19,220 --> 00:04:20,449
Pump it!

82
00:04:21,691 --> 00:04:22,921
So you know Stacy, right?

83
00:04:22,994 --> 00:04:24,326
Right.
The one from England.

84
00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:26,765
There's no one from England, Jim.
Katie studied in Ireland.

85
00:04:26,835 --> 00:04:29,704
This is Stacy. The one who does
the Murakami-style collages.

86
00:04:29,775 --> 00:04:31,437
Right. That style.

87
00:04:31,611 --> 00:04:34,549
So Stacy and Eric get to Foner's
G-tech half an hour early

88
00:04:34,617 --> 00:04:36,850
so they don't have to sit on the slab.
Okay.

89
00:04:36,922 --> 00:04:39,119
Anyway, Foner's TA
Sarikaya comes in.

90
00:04:39,193 --> 00:04:41,459
Wait, who's Sarikaya Komzin?

91
00:04:41,764 --> 00:04:45,704
No, Sarikaya comes in. Don't interrupt.
I have, like, 30 seconds to finish this

92
00:04:45,773 --> 00:04:47,435
and get to Digi Crit.
Okay. Okay.

93
00:04:47,509 --> 00:04:50,379
So Sarikaya says to Eric,
"No way, you can't reserve seats."

94
00:04:50,449 --> 00:04:52,544
And then Stacy
gets all up in her face,

95
00:04:52,620 --> 00:04:54,419
and Sarikaya picks up
Stacy's Mi-Teintes pad

96
00:04:54,490 --> 00:04:56,791
and throws it at the light box.

97
00:04:57,229 --> 00:04:58,892
No way.
Yes!

98
00:05:00,837 --> 00:05:03,535
That's hilarious.
No, it was horrible.

99
00:05:03,708 --> 00:05:06,407
Jim, she might get arrested.
Who? Stacy?

100
00:05:06,481 --> 00:05:08,280
No, Stacy is a boy.

101
00:05:08,351 --> 00:05:11,687
This is so frustrating. Why
can't you just be in art class with me?

102
00:05:13,028 --> 00:05:15,089
Wait, I gotta go.
Class is starting.

103
00:05:15,165 --> 00:05:17,761
Okay, I'll...
I'll talk to you later.

104
00:05:21,277 --> 00:05:23,144
That was a good story.

105
00:05:23,481 --> 00:05:25,383
Who's Sarikaya Komzin?

106
00:05:26,989 --> 00:05:33,400
Yo, got the "Nard" puppy for you.
What's going on here?

107
00:05:33,836 --> 00:05:37,366
It's a baby game where you
guess whose picture is whose.

108
00:05:38,879 --> 00:05:40,040
Check it out.

109
00:05:40,115 --> 00:05:45,387
Who would have thought that this little
baby would be marrying that little baby?

110
00:05:45,993 --> 00:05:47,518
That's Phyllis.

111
00:05:49,233 --> 00:05:50,793
Well...
Yeah, it is.

112
00:05:50,870 --> 00:05:54,138
So I hope you two are very
happy together. Pervert.

113
00:05:54,343 --> 00:05:56,677
Wait, why does that
make me a pervert? I...

114
00:05:56,748 --> 00:05:58,479
Well, it does.
That's me.

115
00:05:58,551 --> 00:06:00,282
That's not you.
Yes, it is.

116
00:06:00,355 --> 00:06:02,655
That's mean,
come on. That's...

117
00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:12,407
Ahoy, matey!
Ahoy!

118
00:06:14,650 --> 00:06:18,522
Ahoy.
So, how are you doing? Good.

119
00:06:20,963 --> 00:06:23,799
Listen, Jan Levinson
is coming in today,

120
00:06:23,869 --> 00:06:28,834
and she is in the terminal
stages of her pregnancy.

121
00:06:29,513 --> 00:06:33,180
A child of which
I have a vested interest.

122
00:06:35,058 --> 00:06:36,458
It's all kind of weird.

123
00:06:36,527 --> 00:06:42,871
Anyway, she is incredibly fat
and enormous right now,

124
00:06:43,475 --> 00:06:46,915
extremely unattractive,
and you are, on the other hand,

125
00:06:47,649 --> 00:06:50,746
one of the more attractive
people in the office,

126
00:06:52,259 --> 00:06:56,222
so while she's here I am going
to be acting kind of cold to you,

127
00:06:57,469 --> 00:07:00,032
and I am doing this

128
00:07:00,108 --> 00:07:05,745
to pay respect to her
bloated feelings.

129
00:07:06,587 --> 00:07:10,027
And I'm treating Ryan the same way.
Of course. Yeah.

130
00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:16,405
I do not like
pregnant women in my workspace.

131
00:07:16,474 --> 00:07:18,569
They're always complaining.

132
00:07:18,946 --> 00:07:23,614
I have varicose veins, too. I have
swollen ankles. I'm constantly hungry.

133
00:07:23,688 --> 00:07:25,818
Do you think my nipples
don't get sore, too?

134
00:07:25,893 --> 00:07:28,591
Do you think I don't need to know
the fastest way to the hospital?

135
00:07:37,249 --> 00:07:39,185
- Jan.
- Hi, Jim.

136
00:07:39,788 --> 00:07:42,657
What do we have here?
This is my baby.

137
00:07:42,994 --> 00:07:44,189
Really?

138
00:07:46,467 --> 00:07:47,662
Oh, no.

139
00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:56,111
Jan had the baby,
and Michael wasn't there to mark it.

140
00:07:56,187 --> 00:07:59,353
So the baby could be anybody's,
except Michael's.

141
00:08:02,500 --> 00:08:05,199
So this is Astird?
Astrid.

142
00:08:05,272 --> 00:08:06,433
Oh! Oh.

143
00:08:06,508 --> 00:08:08,478
Okay.
Why didn't you call me?

144
00:08:08,545 --> 00:08:12,919
Well, you know, labor just kind
of started very suddenly...

145
00:08:13,121 --> 00:08:15,323
I could have helped.
And the birth instructor thought

146
00:08:15,392 --> 00:08:16,771
it wasn't a good idea
for you to be there...

147
00:08:16,795 --> 00:08:18,307
You listened to that guy?
So I just...

148
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:21,633
He had no sense of humor,
and I proved him wrong in so many ways.

149
00:08:21,704 --> 00:08:23,718
Michael, you don't have any
idea what I've been through.

150
00:08:23,742 --> 00:08:26,578
No, I don't.
So, I just... I'm sorry.

151
00:08:26,648 --> 00:08:30,679
I thought today at the baby shower would
be a good time for the two of you to meet.

152
00:08:30,756 --> 00:08:32,282
Can I hold her?

153
00:08:32,359 --> 00:08:34,090
Yes. Yes, you can.

154
00:08:41,244 --> 00:08:43,373
You know,
I think just leave her in the car seat.

155
00:08:43,448 --> 00:08:44,711
Just... Yeah.

156
00:08:44,785 --> 00:08:47,848
Okay. All right.

157
00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:52,324
Okay.

158
00:08:56,107 --> 00:09:01,550
I love babies. I think they are
beautiful in all sorts of different ways.

159
00:09:01,952 --> 00:09:07,361
I try to pick up and hold a baby every day,
if possible, because it nourishes me.

160
00:09:08,198 --> 00:09:10,999
It feeds my soul.
Babies are drawn to me,

161
00:09:11,304 --> 00:09:14,572
and I think it's because
they see me as one of them.

162
00:09:14,644 --> 00:09:19,109
But cooler, and with my life
put together a little bit.

163
00:09:19,186 --> 00:09:23,821
If a baby were president, there would
be no taxes. There would be no war.

164
00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:28,362
There would be no government,

165
00:09:31,444 --> 00:09:33,505
and things could get terrible.

166
00:09:33,581 --> 00:09:34,948
It actually, probably...

167
00:09:35,018 --> 00:09:38,047
It would be a better screenplay
idea than a serious suggestion.

168
00:09:39,126 --> 00:09:43,898
Ladies and gentlemen, it is my privilege
and honor to present for the first time

169
00:09:43,969 --> 00:09:47,135
in her life and in the office,
As... Trid.

170
00:09:47,209 --> 00:09:52,675
Trid Levinson. Hi!
Astrid, this is everybody, look.

171
00:09:53,154 --> 00:09:57,219
This is your family. You're going to
know them for the rest of your life.

172
00:09:57,296 --> 00:10:01,703
Well... Well,
he may not be here. Say hello.

173
00:10:02,206 --> 00:10:05,941
Okay. Here we go. Lion King.
Michael, Michael, Michael!

174
00:10:06,013 --> 00:10:08,176
That's... That's too high.
I'll take that.

175
00:10:08,251 --> 00:10:10,984
Okay! Come on.
Let's get our shower on.

176
00:10:11,057 --> 00:10:13,893
Conference room.
Choppity, chip, chop.

177
00:10:13,963 --> 00:10:16,160
Are you okay?
You seem kind of...

178
00:10:17,736 --> 00:10:19,467
I'm fine, weirdo.

179
00:10:20,542 --> 00:10:25,211
Such an HR weirdo. Try not to suck all
the air out of there when you walk in.

180
00:10:29,727 --> 00:10:32,392
Ready to play some games?
Let's do it!

181
00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:34,368
Michael, the baby's
already been born.

182
00:10:34,503 --> 00:10:35,904
Yeah, duh.

183
00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:39,508
So we had games planned,
but the baby ruins all of them.

184
00:10:39,580 --> 00:10:42,746
No, the baby doesn't
ruin anything, Kevin, okay?

185
00:10:43,188 --> 00:10:47,424
The baby multiplies the fun.
Let's just do what you were going to do.

186
00:10:48,164 --> 00:10:52,730
Okay. Who wants to guess
when the baby will be born?

187
00:10:54,043 --> 00:10:58,040
All right, how about some presents?
I want to see some presents.

188
00:10:58,351 --> 00:11:00,583
I got this so I can write
down for thank you notes.

189
00:11:00,655 --> 00:11:02,956
Thank you. That's very sweet,
thank you. What do we got?

190
00:11:03,027 --> 00:11:06,295
We all chipped in
and got you this stroller.

191
00:11:07,469 --> 00:11:08,630
Oh!

192
00:11:09,306 --> 00:11:10,788
Thank you.
She already has a stroller.

193
00:11:10,810 --> 00:11:13,110
And this is way worse than
the stroller she came with.

194
00:11:13,181 --> 00:11:15,846
She's got an Orbit.
That's a $1,200 stroller.

195
00:11:17,022 --> 00:11:18,821
$1,200 for a stroller?

196
00:11:20,562 --> 00:11:22,156
Okay, what else?

197
00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:25,830
$1,200 is what I spent
on my whole bomb shelter.

198
00:11:27,509 --> 00:11:31,415
For that kind of money,
this stroller should be indestructible.

199
00:11:34,056 --> 00:11:39,499
Being good isn't always
easy No matter how hard I try

200
00:11:39,567 --> 00:11:42,164
When he started
sweet-talking to me

201
00:11:42,239 --> 00:11:45,006
He'd come and tell me
everything is all right

202
00:11:45,078 --> 00:11:48,380
He'd kiss and tell me
everything is all right

203
00:11:48,451 --> 00:11:50,888
And can I get away again tonight

204
00:11:50,957 --> 00:11:52,016
The only one...

205
00:11:52,459 --> 00:11:54,053
- Hey, you.
- Hey, you busy?

206
00:11:54,129 --> 00:11:56,476
Not even. I'm doing laundry for
the first time in, like, a month.

207
00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:59,182
Okay, okay. You got to hear this.
So, Jars shower's going on right now,

208
00:11:59,206 --> 00:12:01,073
And she's
singing Son of a Preacher Man.

209
00:12:01,143 --> 00:12:02,522
I can't hear anything.
There's like...

210
00:12:02,546 --> 00:12:03,757
Everyone's just
staring at her like...

211
00:12:03,782 --> 00:12:05,182
There's, like, machines going.

212
00:12:05,251 --> 00:12:07,613
The song is about losing
your virginity next to a church,

213
00:12:07,623 --> 00:12:10,618
and guess what? She's been
singing for the last 20 minutes.

214
00:12:10,695 --> 00:12:12,562
I can't hear anything.

215
00:12:13,267 --> 00:12:16,671
Okay, well, you know what,
just call me later.

216
00:12:16,808 --> 00:12:17,901
Okay.

217
00:12:19,546 --> 00:12:21,881
I'm not frustrated.
Even if I were in Scranton,

218
00:12:21,952 --> 00:12:23,477
Jim and I would
have days like this.

219
00:12:23,554 --> 00:12:28,292
We're just a little out of sync.
You know, that's all.

220
00:12:29,633 --> 00:12:30,692
Oh!

221
00:12:30,770 --> 00:12:33,172
Great, I...
I washed my lipstick.

222
00:12:35,478 --> 00:12:40,922
How well I remember
The look that was in his eyes

223
00:12:40,990 --> 00:12:43,860
Stealing kisses from me
on the sly

224
00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:45,693
Taking time to make time

225
00:12:46,701 --> 00:12:48,899
Telling me that he's all mine

226
00:12:49,373 --> 00:12:51,776
Learning from
each other's knowing

227
00:12:51,845 --> 00:12:54,840
Looking to see how much
we've grown And the only...

228
00:12:55,318 --> 00:12:57,949
Don't hit the fence!
Oh, no, my child!

229
00:12:58,691 --> 00:13:01,219
Don't get stuck
on the barbed wire!

230
00:13:03,101 --> 00:13:05,537
Playtime is over!

231
00:13:07,509 --> 00:13:10,606
So, Jan, tell my intended about
the miracle of childbirth.

232
00:13:10,682 --> 00:13:14,919
Well, actually I... I had a tub birth,
and it was really, really quite amazing.

233
00:13:14,991 --> 00:13:16,550
You gave birth in a tub?

234
00:13:16,627 --> 00:13:19,724
Yeah, it's a really nice
transition from womb to world.

235
00:13:19,801 --> 00:13:21,292
You know,
kind of like a big womb.

236
00:13:21,370 --> 00:13:23,431
So you're in the tub
with everything?

237
00:13:23,608 --> 00:13:25,009
Yeah, the afterbirth floats.
Yeah.

238
00:13:25,078 --> 00:13:27,139
Must be like the tide
at Omaha Beach.

239
00:13:27,315 --> 00:13:29,786
No, it's actually
really hygienic, Creed.

240
00:13:29,854 --> 00:13:31,099
After the birth,
you get out... I'm done.

241
00:13:31,123 --> 00:13:32,888
Me, too.
And you deliver the afterbirth.

242
00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:37,333
Hey, hey, no, no, no, no, no.
No. No. This is the birth story.

243
00:13:37,402 --> 00:13:40,101
It was beautiful.
It was beautiful.

244
00:13:40,175 --> 00:13:41,974
This is a once-in-a-lifetime
experience,

245
00:13:42,579 --> 00:13:46,314
and I should have been there. I should
have been there to witness this.

246
00:13:46,387 --> 00:13:48,755
I could have helped.
You're upset about this. I know that,

247
00:13:48,826 --> 00:13:54,497
and I wish that I... But would it help
if you held Astrid for just a little bit?

248
00:13:57,242 --> 00:13:59,542
Yeah.
Okay. All right.

249
00:14:00,783 --> 00:14:03,754
I'm just going to lie down for a
couple of minutes. I'm exhausted.

250
00:14:03,822 --> 00:14:08,422
So, remind me to talk to you
about Astrid's 529. Wake me in 20.

251
00:14:16,313 --> 00:14:19,183
I usually love babies,
but when I held Astrid

252
00:14:19,253 --> 00:14:21,450
I just felt...

253
00:14:24,496 --> 00:14:25,988
Shortchanged.

254
00:14:27,569 --> 00:14:28,799
Phyllis?

255
00:14:32,045 --> 00:14:34,515
Could you take...
Sure.

256
00:14:35,551 --> 00:14:36,576
Just for a second.

257
00:14:36,988 --> 00:14:38,081
Okay.

258
00:14:40,561 --> 00:14:41,928
Sweetheart.

259
00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:48,770
Hey, guys.
What's up, Mike?

260
00:14:50,481 --> 00:14:53,681
I need some advice from
one baby-daddy to another.

261
00:14:53,956 --> 00:14:56,688
You a baby-daddy?
Yeah, I a baby-daddy.

262
00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:01,804
When you first
became a baby-daddy,

263
00:15:01,871 --> 00:15:05,571
did you have an immediate
connection with that baby?

264
00:15:05,645 --> 00:15:10,314
Like, the first time that you held it,
did you find that with your baby baby?

265
00:15:10,688 --> 00:15:12,681
Hell, yeah.
You know why?

266
00:15:13,694 --> 00:15:15,630
'Cause that was my baby.

267
00:15:16,367 --> 00:15:17,578
I just thought
as a baby-daddy...

268
00:15:17,602 --> 00:15:21,064
You should stop calling
yourself "baby-daddy."

269
00:15:21,143 --> 00:15:24,776
Why, Darryl? Because I'm
quote "white" quote, unquote?

270
00:15:24,851 --> 00:15:28,916
Because you're not a daddy,
and it's not your baby.

271
00:15:29,159 --> 00:15:31,721
Well... You feel connected
to his baby over there?

272
00:15:31,798 --> 00:15:34,667
It's... That's different.
You feel connected to this?

273
00:15:34,736 --> 00:15:38,232
That's not a baby.
You want to hold me, see how you feel?

274
00:15:40,916 --> 00:15:42,384
Could I?
No.

275
00:15:53,541 --> 00:15:54,702
Oh.

276
00:15:55,344 --> 00:15:57,838
I was just catching up
on my sleep.

277
00:15:58,150 --> 00:15:59,709
I can imagine.

278
00:16:02,592 --> 00:16:05,689
Where's Astrid?
I think she's on a sales call.

279
00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:09,700
On a what?
"Wah, more paper. Wah."

280
00:16:13,882 --> 00:16:17,150
No, she's just on her coffee break.
That's funny.

281
00:16:18,757 --> 00:16:20,420
She's with Angela.

282
00:16:23,969 --> 00:16:26,667
That's good.
Now I need you to...

283
00:16:26,740 --> 00:16:28,870
I need it to look up here.
Get the baby to look...

284
00:16:28,945 --> 00:16:30,106
Okay.
Up here. Ready?

285
00:16:30,181 --> 00:16:34,588
Yeah. Look at my finger.
Look. Look.

286
00:16:34,656 --> 00:16:37,719
No. Come on, up here.
Look up here.

287
00:16:37,796 --> 00:16:40,062
Your hand's in it.
What? Sorry.

288
00:16:40,134 --> 00:16:41,746
What are you doing? Yeah,
that was a good one.

289
00:16:41,771 --> 00:16:43,137
What's going on?
Excuse me.

290
00:16:43,207 --> 00:16:45,302
We're taking a picture.
Honey, there you are.

291
00:16:45,378 --> 00:16:48,316
She's nature's bounty.
You don't flash around a newborn baby.

292
00:16:48,384 --> 00:16:49,978
Don't you know that?
What?

293
00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:58,699
Michael, I need your help.
I was just going to...

294
00:16:59,105 --> 00:17:03,011
I was going to talk to
Holly about her hygiene.

295
00:17:04,216 --> 00:17:08,486
She smells like
old tomatoes and dirt.

296
00:17:11,563 --> 00:17:12,793
Come on.

297
00:17:18,611 --> 00:17:21,481
I like to call this
the bumper test.

298
00:17:47,435 --> 00:17:49,234
Sure you can't stay
a little longer?

299
00:17:49,306 --> 00:17:50,501
No, Michael, you know what,

300
00:17:50,574 --> 00:17:52,669
I really have to go.
Okay.

301
00:17:53,180 --> 00:17:57,314
All right, everybody, they're leaving.
Jan and Astrid are leaving.

302
00:17:57,990 --> 00:18:01,554
You know what, where is the
stroller that I came in with?

303
00:18:01,763 --> 00:18:05,601
I took the liberty of putting it
in your trunk. Thanks, Dwight.

304
00:18:07,108 --> 00:18:12,517
Okay. You know what, there is... There
is one more thing that you can do for me.

305
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:15,117
Okay.
Don't date Holly.

306
00:18:16,526 --> 00:18:19,396
That's... I hate her.

307
00:18:20,067 --> 00:18:23,369
Why?
God, why would you even ask me to...

308
00:18:24,844 --> 00:18:30,789
I mean, not that it matters, 'cause I
don't, but... Okay. All right. Fine.

309
00:18:32,558 --> 00:18:36,464
Thanks for the baby shower. It was
great. And I'll... I'll see you soon.

310
00:18:36,533 --> 00:18:38,162
All right.
Okay.

311
00:18:56,173 --> 00:18:58,575
You still going
to be mean to me?

312
00:19:23,026 --> 00:19:24,551
Want to go out?

313
00:19:28,270 --> 00:19:29,329
Yes.

314
00:19:31,409 --> 00:19:35,976
I didn't feel much when I held Astrid,
but I got a good feeling from Holly.

315
00:19:41,898 --> 00:19:44,630
Hey, it's Jim.
Leave a message. Hi.

316
00:19:45,237 --> 00:19:51,273
Hey, this is Pam. Leave a message.
Hey. It's me. It is 5:03.

317
00:19:51,683 --> 00:19:53,847
I figured I'd catch you
walking to your car, but...

318
00:19:53,922 --> 00:19:57,019
Guess you must be out or something.
I'll leave a message.

319
00:19:57,562 --> 00:20:00,363
Is it me or are we
just a little off today?

320
00:20:00,434 --> 00:20:02,666
I guess this is just
one of those days.

321
00:20:03,407 --> 00:20:05,036
It'll get better.

322
00:20:05,277 --> 00:20:08,272
Hope you didn't have
any major laundry issues.

323
00:20:08,517 --> 00:20:11,489
I finished my laundry.
Got all my socks.

324
00:20:12,191 --> 00:20:14,788
Nothing like that
time that crazy guy pushed you.

325
00:20:14,863 --> 00:20:18,826
Hey, do you remember that time
that I helped you do your laundry

326
00:20:19,038 --> 00:20:21,270
And that crazy guy came
in and started yelling at you?

327
00:20:21,343 --> 00:20:24,577
And then remember we went shopping
the next day to buy me a washer-dryer?

328
00:20:24,649 --> 00:20:26,984
And yet, here you are,
back in a Laundromat.

329
00:20:27,054 --> 00:20:30,117
You know, I'm just trying to
help you, Beesly. Be safe.

330
00:20:30,194 --> 00:20:33,132
You're probably upset that I'm
even at a Laundromat right now,

331
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:37,436
but don't worry, I'm being safe,
and I'm headed home.

332
00:20:38,343 --> 00:20:41,406
I'm headed to my dorm.
Not home.

333
00:20:42,518 --> 00:20:44,283
Wish you were home.

334
00:20:45,491 --> 00:20:48,224
Anyway...
Anyway,

335
00:20:49,933 --> 00:20:52,529
I miss you.
I miss you.

336
00:20:53,327 --> 00:21:03,337
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