1
00:00:06,134 --> 00:00:08,570
Pam, line three.
Okay, thanks.

2
00:00:08,639 --> 00:00:13,047
New York, as it turns out, is very
expensive, and I ran out of money.

3
00:00:13,883 --> 00:00:15,715
I thought about
selling a kidney,

4
00:00:15,786 --> 00:00:19,055
but Michael offered to get me
a part-time job at corporate.

5
00:00:21,231 --> 00:00:22,256
Hey.

6
00:00:22,333 --> 00:00:27,469
Pamela!

7
00:00:27,543 --> 00:00:29,980
Of course,
now Michael knows where to reach me

8
00:00:30,049 --> 00:00:31,574
sixteen to 18 hours a week.

9
00:00:32,153 --> 00:00:38,155
Hey, Michael.
Pamela!

10
00:00:39,802 --> 00:00:44,106
Miss you, kiddo.
Miss you so much.

11
00:00:45,835 --> 00:00:51,915
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

12
00:01:08,425 --> 00:01:09,426
Hey.
Hello.

13
00:01:09,494 --> 00:01:11,340
That was really fun last night.
Yeah, it was nice.

14
00:01:11,364 --> 00:01:14,530
I'm actually thinking about getting
my own set of "putt-putt" golf clubs.

15
00:01:14,604 --> 00:01:17,075
That would be great.
You need that. Yeah?

16
00:01:17,143 --> 00:01:18,202
Yeah.
Really?

17
00:01:18,278 --> 00:01:21,341
Yeah. It would help.
Well, I let her win.

18
00:01:21,418 --> 00:01:22,853
No, he didn't.

19
00:01:22,921 --> 00:01:27,021
So, when can I see you again?

20
00:01:27,263 --> 00:01:28,994
Tonight.
I'm free tonight.

21
00:01:29,802 --> 00:01:31,430
Is that too eager?
No.

22
00:01:31,906 --> 00:01:34,206
I don't care.
I'm free tonight. Okay.

23
00:01:34,744 --> 00:01:37,808
Oh, wait.
Tonight's no good.

24
00:01:38,252 --> 00:01:40,654
Because I am busy
taking you out.

25
00:01:40,891 --> 00:01:44,193
I just remembered.
I can't tonight.

26
00:01:44,264 --> 00:01:46,427
Why?
I'm going out with you.

27
00:01:47,570 --> 00:01:48,595
Wow.

28
00:01:50,877 --> 00:01:54,247
Wait a second.
I can't tonight.

29
00:01:54,350 --> 00:01:55,631
No more. No more.
Tonight's so...

30
00:01:55,653 --> 00:01:57,817
All right.
Too many times.

31
00:01:57,891 --> 00:02:00,054
It's all good.
All right. So, good.

32
00:02:00,129 --> 00:02:02,531
So have a nice day.
Thank you. You, too.

33
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:03,601
You're welcome.

34
00:02:04,872 --> 00:02:11,249
In my opinion, the third date is
traditionally the one where you have sex.

35
00:02:12,420 --> 00:02:15,324
Does Holly feel that way?
I don't know.

36
00:02:15,626 --> 00:02:17,961
I will probably
find out tonight.

37
00:02:18,900 --> 00:02:21,872
If she starts having sex with me,
I'll know for sure.

38
00:02:22,173 --> 00:02:25,407
That's for you, and...

39
00:02:26,548 --> 00:02:29,988
I am right in assuming that
Dwight is short for D-Money?

40
00:02:30,189 --> 00:02:33,457
'Cause that's what I wrote
on your "Save The Date."

41
00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:34,963
You set a date?

42
00:02:36,101 --> 00:02:39,232
J-Money.
Or should it be T-Money, for Tuna?

43
00:02:42,413 --> 00:02:44,246
Receptionist-Money.

44
00:02:46,388 --> 00:02:47,651
K-Money.

45
00:02:48,458 --> 00:02:51,157
What are you making?
A knife.

46
00:02:51,631 --> 00:02:53,260
You're making
a knife with a knife?

47
00:02:53,335 --> 00:02:54,895
You got a better way?

48
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,038
You want to talk about it?

49
00:03:00,115 --> 00:03:01,140
About what?

50
00:03:01,384 --> 00:03:05,290
You know I know.
You know they know.

51
00:03:09,033 --> 00:03:12,837
I know none of that. And if I did,
you'd be the last to know.

52
00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:17,104
The mall could be fun.
Yeah!

53
00:03:17,183 --> 00:03:19,653
We could go to the food court,
get different foods.

54
00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:22,089
You could get chicken teriyaki,
I could get a hot dog.

55
00:03:22,159 --> 00:03:25,427
Some of what we order depends
on if we're having sex after.

56
00:03:27,871 --> 00:03:30,637
I can't... Oh, my...

57
00:03:30,709 --> 00:03:32,942
Wow!
Elephant in the room.

58
00:03:33,515 --> 00:03:37,649
Are we, do you think? Do you think
we're going to have sex tonight?

59
00:03:38,358 --> 00:03:39,827
Hell, yeah.

60
00:03:41,331 --> 00:03:43,130
Okay. So, we do
the restaurant thing

61
00:03:43,201 --> 00:03:47,005
and then... Then we can do... We'll
just do the restaurant thing first.

62
00:03:47,076 --> 00:03:48,476
Yeah, that's good.

63
00:03:51,251 --> 00:03:53,744
Probably get soup,
or something light.

64
00:03:58,231 --> 00:03:59,324
Hi.

65
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:01,963
She introduced me
to so many things.

66
00:04:02,039 --> 00:04:05,534
Pasteurized milk,
sheets, monotheism.

67
00:04:07,183 --> 00:04:09,882
Presents on your birthday,
preventative medicine.

68
00:04:10,222 --> 00:04:11,451
It's nice to learn new things.

69
00:04:11,524 --> 00:04:13,721
I was talking to myself.
Okay.

70
00:04:14,564 --> 00:04:17,434
I just don't get it.
What don't you get?

71
00:04:19,908 --> 00:04:21,638
Why is she marrying Andy?

72
00:04:23,281 --> 00:04:25,844
Angela's not really a risk taker

73
00:04:26,487 --> 00:04:28,719
and Andy's not really a risk.

74
00:04:33,001 --> 00:04:34,765
That's really fattening.

75
00:04:35,138 --> 00:04:36,835
No, it's lettuce.

76
00:04:39,881 --> 00:04:41,213
It's time to go?
No.

77
00:04:41,284 --> 00:04:42,810
Oh, okay.
No.

78
00:04:43,788 --> 00:04:46,225
Reservations are at 8:00 so
we've got an hour and 45 minutes.

79
00:04:46,294 --> 00:04:47,421
Okay.

80
00:04:49,835 --> 00:04:51,428
Crazy eight!
I'm crazy!

81
00:04:51,504 --> 00:04:53,406
You're crazy!
Go crazy!

82
00:05:06,067 --> 00:05:07,695
I forgot my keys.

83
00:05:08,138 --> 00:05:10,335
Do you need them?
Yeah, let's go grab them.

84
00:05:10,409 --> 00:05:11,434
All right.

85
00:05:13,782 --> 00:05:15,810
After vous.
Thank vous.

86
00:05:24,905 --> 00:05:25,998
What?

87
00:05:27,643 --> 00:05:28,668
Oh!

88
00:05:30,115 --> 00:05:31,481
I didn't forget my keys,

89
00:05:31,551 --> 00:05:34,854
I just didn't want to make
out with you in front of the cameras.

90
00:05:35,425 --> 00:05:36,792
Do you think they can hear us?

91
00:05:36,862 --> 00:05:40,164
Not if we turn these
dials all the way down.

92
00:05:41,571 --> 00:05:43,974
Now they can't hear us at all.
Oh, good.

93
00:05:44,043 --> 00:05:45,568
We're totally alone.

94
00:05:52,593 --> 00:05:53,857
Yes, that's correct.

95
00:05:53,930 --> 00:05:57,699
I need to cancel checks
from 10,001 to 90,000.

96
00:05:58,438 --> 00:05:59,930
Great, they stole my laptop.

97
00:06:00,008 --> 00:06:03,037
Yeah, well, they stole
my surge protector.

98
00:06:03,115 --> 00:06:04,378
How does that even compare?

99
00:06:04,450 --> 00:06:07,047
Oscar, I'm now going
to be prone to surges.

100
00:06:07,323 --> 00:06:08,883
Oh, my God.
What happened?

101
00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:10,019
We were robbed last night.

102
00:06:10,095 --> 00:06:11,358
Bravo, Watson.

103
00:06:11,564 --> 00:06:13,363
Looks like a classic
seven-man job.

104
00:06:13,435 --> 00:06:15,064
Okay, security tapes
were stolen.

105
00:06:15,139 --> 00:06:19,443
Motives. Financial, or possibly
vintage HP computer collectors.

106
00:06:19,647 --> 00:06:23,314
Hank down at Security had clocked out,
and that's all we have.

107
00:06:23,655 --> 00:06:26,149
Can I talk to you for a second?
Yeah.

108
00:06:30,302 --> 00:06:33,833
That wasn't us, right? I mean,
you remembered to lock the doors?

109
00:06:34,443 --> 00:06:37,814
No, did you? Michael,
I think this is our fault.

110
00:06:37,884 --> 00:06:40,981
Oh, no! Oh, my God.
Oh, my God! Oh, no.

111
00:06:41,057 --> 00:06:43,653
So much for sex
without consequences.

112
00:06:44,363 --> 00:06:47,392
You are such a dork. Shot!

113
00:06:48,438 --> 00:06:51,205
That's bad. So, apparently,
Pam went out last night

114
00:06:51,277 --> 00:06:54,613
and accidentally called my work
phone at three in the morning.

115
00:06:54,684 --> 00:06:56,210
So...
I am not drunk.

116
00:06:56,287 --> 00:06:58,723
I am on minute six
of this message.

117
00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:01,460
Okay, I do not sound like that.

118
00:07:01,531 --> 00:07:04,367
- Take the girl out of Philly...
- Scranton.

119
00:07:05,606 --> 00:07:07,701
The future mother
of my children.

120
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:10,708
I never felt safe here.

121
00:07:10,782 --> 00:07:12,046
You're always safe with me.

122
00:07:12,419 --> 00:07:16,052
I'm a very good screamer.
And one day, we're going to move

123
00:07:16,127 --> 00:07:20,192
to Disney's Celebration Village in
Florida and leave all this behind.

124
00:07:20,602 --> 00:07:22,196
I would very much like that.

125
00:07:22,273 --> 00:07:23,673
Yeah?
Yeah.

126
00:07:23,742 --> 00:07:26,543
Consider yourself at home

127
00:07:31,391 --> 00:07:32,586
Get in.

128
00:07:35,299 --> 00:07:36,733
Where are we going?

129
00:07:36,802 --> 00:07:39,466
I know she loves me,
Phyllis. I am sure of it.

130
00:07:39,607 --> 00:07:41,076
She practically told me so.

131
00:07:41,144 --> 00:07:43,137
Then you need to
give her an ultimatum.

132
00:07:43,214 --> 00:07:46,881
Tell her she needs to make a choice.
You or Andy.

133
00:07:46,955 --> 00:07:49,927
If she picks you, great.
If not, you can move on.

134
00:07:50,028 --> 00:07:51,553
Are you sure that's going to work?

135
00:07:51,631 --> 00:07:56,300
It did when Bob said I had to stop
talking to my sister on the phone so much.

136
00:07:57,977 --> 00:08:00,743
Wait, this isn't our floor.
Dwight!

137
00:08:01,852 --> 00:08:03,548
How's everyone doing?

138
00:08:03,621 --> 00:08:07,026
My door is always open
if anyone wants to talk.

139
00:08:07,096 --> 00:08:09,726
I don't want to talk.
I want my laptop back.

140
00:08:09,801 --> 00:08:12,636
Nobody steals from Creed
Bratton and gets away it.

141
00:08:13,041 --> 00:08:16,343
The last person
to do this disappeared.

142
00:08:16,414 --> 00:08:17,677
His name?

143
00:08:17,750 --> 00:08:18,946
Creed Bratton.

144
00:08:19,387 --> 00:08:22,325
I'm going to make everything all right.
All right?

145
00:08:23,194 --> 00:08:26,827
Conference room, 15 minutes.
Half an hour. All right?

146
00:08:29,340 --> 00:08:32,403
To recoup their losses,
I am planning a little charity auction,

147
00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:35,919
where people from all over
Scranton can come and bid

148
00:08:35,987 --> 00:08:37,923
on our goods and services.

149
00:08:37,991 --> 00:08:41,157
I'm calling it Crime Aid.
It's like Farm Aid,

150
00:08:41,697 --> 00:08:43,998
but instead of farms
fighting against AIDS:

151
00:08:44,069 --> 00:08:47,269
it is us,
fighting against our own poverty.

152
00:08:47,977 --> 00:08:49,947
I think it's a fun idea.
Thank you!

153
00:08:50,015 --> 00:08:52,315
We could auction off things
that we do for each other,

154
00:08:52,386 --> 00:08:56,019
like cleaning or tennis lessons.
My sorority did it all the time.

155
00:08:56,093 --> 00:08:57,940
Okay. I'm going to have
to stop you right there.

156
00:08:57,964 --> 00:09:01,334
Was this the sorority that you
didn't get into a real sorority

157
00:09:01,404 --> 00:09:03,397
so you had to kind of
form your own?

158
00:09:03,475 --> 00:09:05,069
Move on, Michael.
Okay.

159
00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:07,258
Okay, well, come on!
Let's have an auction! Let's do this!

160
00:09:07,282 --> 00:09:10,118
We'll auction off people,
like in the olden days.

161
00:09:10,990 --> 00:09:14,224
So, in order to recoup
the value of items we liked,

162
00:09:14,396 --> 00:09:16,924
we have to spend more money
on things we don't want.

163
00:09:17,002 --> 00:09:19,598
- Who would ever come to this?
- I don't know.

164
00:09:19,673 --> 00:09:22,645
It could be any number of people.
It could be a pedestrian.

165
00:09:22,713 --> 00:09:26,517
It could be an old person.
It could be a lookie loo.

166
00:09:27,155 --> 00:09:31,391
Or it could be
a Bruce Springsteen fan. What?

167
00:09:31,899 --> 00:09:34,699
Who said that? I did.
Why did I say that?

168
00:09:34,770 --> 00:09:36,467
Oh, I think
you know why I said that.

169
00:09:36,541 --> 00:09:40,447
I think it is very apparent.
I think it goes without saying...

170
00:09:40,649 --> 00:09:42,813
Bear with me.
There's a point there.

171
00:09:42,887 --> 00:09:45,687
"But what is the point?
I don't understand what he's saying."

172
00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:48,595
"It seems a little shady.
It seems a little foggy."

173
00:09:48,765 --> 00:09:51,529
Well, it's not a little foggy.
There's really something going on here.

174
00:09:51,537 --> 00:09:53,940
Do you need us for any of this?
Do I?

175
00:09:54,911 --> 00:09:58,042
Michael scored the big-ticket
item. Springsteen tickets.

176
00:09:58,151 --> 00:09:59,642
The boss scored The Boss.

177
00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:01,918
Yeah, I think
that's pretty boss.

178
00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:05,866
He knows how to get things.
He got me.

179
00:10:07,102 --> 00:10:10,438
Whoa!
Sorry.

180
00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:13,238
Twice.

181
00:10:15,352 --> 00:10:16,513
Right?

182
00:10:20,061 --> 00:10:22,862
Listen to me close,
'cause I'm only going to say this once.

183
00:10:22,934 --> 00:10:25,461
You either break off your engagement
with that singing buffoon,

184
00:10:25,538 --> 00:10:27,405
apologize, and then date me,

185
00:10:27,476 --> 00:10:30,380
or you can say goodbye to this.

186
00:10:33,287 --> 00:10:35,223
I think you have me confused
with another person.

187
00:10:35,291 --> 00:10:37,261
I said I was only
going to say it once.

188
00:10:37,329 --> 00:10:39,128
You have until 6:14 p.m.

189
00:10:40,168 --> 00:10:42,331
6:14!
I heard you!

190
00:10:42,773 --> 00:10:44,072
Gonna have fun! Yeah!

191
00:10:47,683 --> 00:10:51,282
I'll rock and roll you.
Thank you very much, everybody.

192
00:10:51,357 --> 00:10:53,954
Thank you, Mr. Springsteen!

193
00:10:55,866 --> 00:10:58,234
And welcome to Crime Aid.

194
00:11:00,475 --> 00:11:06,044
"Crime reduces innocence,
makes everyone angry, I declare."

195
00:11:06,922 --> 00:11:13,697
It is not known how many office
robberies occur every second,

196
00:11:14,203 --> 00:11:18,576
because there is no Wikipedia entry
for office robbery statistics.

197
00:11:18,644 --> 00:11:23,018
However, tonight,
its victims are standing together

198
00:11:23,087 --> 00:11:27,027
and standing strong
in the form of song,

199
00:11:29,533 --> 00:11:32,528
cooking lessons and hugs.

200
00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:35,510
Really, Phyllis,
you're auctioning a hug?

201
00:11:35,578 --> 00:11:40,486
Okay, so with no further ado,
lights, camera, auction!

202
00:11:40,588 --> 00:11:43,116
Take it away, Bruce!

203
00:11:46,935 --> 00:11:49,930
Mike gave me a list of
his top 10 Springsteen songs.

204
00:11:50,275 --> 00:11:52,370
Three of them were
Huey Lewis and the News,

205
00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:54,540
one was Tracy Chapmars Fast Car,

206
00:11:55,051 --> 00:11:57,419
and, my personal favorite,
Short People.

207
00:12:00,161 --> 00:12:03,361
Okay, this is the moment
that you've all been waiting for.

208
00:12:03,434 --> 00:12:06,805
Our first item up
for bids tonight

209
00:12:07,576 --> 00:12:11,346
is something I consider
to be very boss indeed.

210
00:12:12,219 --> 00:12:15,248
It is a yoga lesson
from Holly Flax.

211
00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:21,330
Yoga! I'd like to start
the bidding off at $300.

212
00:12:21,503 --> 00:12:24,304
$300! Do I hear $300?
$300.

213
00:12:24,376 --> 00:12:27,212
Hey, batter, batter, batter.
Hey, batter, swing, batter! $300,

214
00:12:27,282 --> 00:12:29,582
$300, $300. Anybody, $300?

215
00:12:29,653 --> 00:12:33,491
$400. Who wants it for four?
Four, four... Hitter, hitter...

216
00:12:34,696 --> 00:12:36,576
Do I see somebody in the back?
Is there somebody in the back?

217
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:40,199
Do I see somebody in the back?
$400! $450.

218
00:12:40,275 --> 00:12:42,906
Sold! For $300 to me!

219
00:12:43,581 --> 00:12:46,178
What the hell is that?
It's the only gavel I could find.

220
00:12:46,253 --> 00:12:48,246
It squeaks when you bang it.
That's what she said.

221
00:12:48,324 --> 00:12:50,521
Let's hear it for me, right?

222
00:12:51,730 --> 00:12:53,928
A bargain at any price.

223
00:12:54,002 --> 00:12:55,231
Hey, Mike, do my thing.

224
00:12:55,338 --> 00:12:57,331
Oh, yes, great, very good.

225
00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:02,050
So, Darryl and the boys in
the hood in the warehouse

226
00:13:02,118 --> 00:13:08,085
have graciously donated to "go out
for a beer with them right now."

227
00:13:08,966 --> 00:13:11,232
You know what?
I'm actually going to bid on this.

228
00:13:11,303 --> 00:13:12,566
I'm going to start the bidding

229
00:13:12,639 --> 00:13:15,270
because this is something
that I've dreamt of.

230
00:13:15,345 --> 00:13:18,146
Mike, you can't do this,
conflict of interest.

231
00:13:18,217 --> 00:13:20,710
$5!
Sold to Jim!

232
00:13:20,788 --> 00:13:22,621
Okay.
Okay, sold!

233
00:13:24,196 --> 00:13:25,893
Have fun, you guys.

234
00:13:25,966 --> 00:13:29,963
Well, this next item
is sure to spring steam

235
00:13:30,041 --> 00:13:32,979
from your ears
if you don't win it.

236
00:13:33,915 --> 00:13:36,784
It just says Creed.
Yeah, that's all inclusive.

237
00:13:39,794 --> 00:13:41,319
She thought I was McNabb.

238
00:13:42,632 --> 00:13:43,828
I can see that.

239
00:13:43,902 --> 00:13:45,872
Yeah, what you going to do?

240
00:13:45,939 --> 00:13:47,464
Another round, boys?

241
00:13:47,709 --> 00:13:48,710
Great.

242
00:13:51,216 --> 00:13:53,277
- Halpert?
- What's up, Roy?

243
00:13:53,855 --> 00:13:55,414
Hey, man.

244
00:13:59,433 --> 00:14:02,633
Relax, man. I'm not going to hit you.
Oh, I wouldn't...

245
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:06,499
You good? I'm good.
How you doing?

246
00:14:06,547 --> 00:14:08,073
I'm good.
Good.

247
00:14:08,150 --> 00:14:09,311
Hey, Darryl.
What's happening?

248
00:14:09,352 --> 00:14:10,497
What's up?
How's it going, man?

249
00:14:10,521 --> 00:14:11,522
Hey, what's up, guys?

250
00:14:11,590 --> 00:14:12,615
Where you been?

251
00:14:12,692 --> 00:14:15,129
Hi. I'm Kevin.

252
00:14:15,665 --> 00:14:17,567
I'll do your taxes.

253
00:14:18,170 --> 00:14:22,042
Let's hear an opening bid, everybody.
Who's first? Kevin doing your taxes.

254
00:14:22,679 --> 00:14:25,310
He's the tax man!
Kevin the Tax Man.

255
00:14:25,551 --> 00:14:28,079
Federal and state.
Federal and state.

256
00:14:31,763 --> 00:14:35,430
Fine. Okay. All right.
Okay. You know what?

257
00:14:36,073 --> 00:14:39,671
I would appreciate it if people
would stop storming off the stage.

258
00:15:09,739 --> 00:15:12,142
Me and the blues

259
00:15:14,049 --> 00:15:16,349
Just me and the blues

260
00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:21,285
We are getting there,
folks, slow and steady.

261
00:15:21,999 --> 00:15:24,765
Well, well,
have we been blessed today?

262
00:15:24,838 --> 00:15:28,140
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. David Wallace!

263
00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:30,305
Hey!
Thank you, Michael.

264
00:15:30,382 --> 00:15:31,577
Thanks. Thanks, everybody.

265
00:15:31,651 --> 00:15:35,056
I'd like to auction off a weekend
at my place in Martha's Vineyard.

266
00:15:35,125 --> 00:15:36,616
Hey, hey!
$100.

267
00:15:36,694 --> 00:15:38,527
$100. Great!
$125.

268
00:15:38,598 --> 00:15:40,625
$125. $140.
$140.

269
00:15:40,702 --> 00:15:43,674
Phyllis, someone let the air
out of your tires. Come quick.

270
00:15:43,741 --> 00:15:45,142
- Oh, dear.
- Who else? Who else?

271
00:15:45,211 --> 00:15:46,723
- Keep it going! Hey, batter, batter, hey.
- $160.

272
00:15:46,747 --> 00:15:47,748
$160.

273
00:15:48,585 --> 00:15:50,954
I had to get your attention.
This is an emergency.

274
00:15:51,023 --> 00:15:53,404
Why couldn't you have just said it?
Why did you actually do it?

275
00:15:53,428 --> 00:15:56,594
Listen! She ignored
my ultimatum. Now what?

276
00:15:56,767 --> 00:15:58,600
Now you move on.

277
00:15:58,671 --> 00:16:00,265
Okay, fine, I've moved on.

278
00:16:01,277 --> 00:16:02,837
Now how do I get her back?

279
00:16:02,914 --> 00:16:06,911
Dwight, I don't think you do.
I think you've got your answer.

280
00:16:07,422 --> 00:16:10,553
What, that's it?
That's your advice?

281
00:16:11,330 --> 00:16:13,766
I thought you had some
kind of big master plan.

282
00:16:13,836 --> 00:16:18,504
Well, I just think we all deserve to be
with someone who wants to be with us.

283
00:16:18,879 --> 00:16:20,074
Oh.

284
00:16:20,148 --> 00:16:21,309
I get it.

285
00:16:21,384 --> 00:16:24,788
You're trying to secure your place as
head of the Party Planning Committee.

286
00:16:24,858 --> 00:16:26,885
You're just being selfish.

287
00:16:29,233 --> 00:16:31,294
And you slap like a girl.

288
00:16:35,846 --> 00:16:39,114
What did Phyllis do wrong?
I'll tell you what Phyllis did wrong.

289
00:16:39,186 --> 00:16:42,750
She stuck her nose into my
business and tried to help me.

290
00:16:45,866 --> 00:16:48,359
What's going on with Pam?
She's good, actually.

291
00:16:48,438 --> 00:16:51,171
Yeah?
She's in New York.

292
00:16:51,277 --> 00:16:53,474
She's at an art school.
Really?

293
00:16:53,548 --> 00:16:55,484
Yeah, she's doing really well.

294
00:16:57,489 --> 00:16:59,721
She's engaged

295
00:17:01,664 --> 00:17:02,894
to me.

296
00:17:06,006 --> 00:17:08,772
Congrats, man.
Thanks, man.

297
00:17:10,181 --> 00:17:11,581
I appreciate that.

298
00:17:13,287 --> 00:17:15,052
So Pam's happy?

299
00:17:15,125 --> 00:17:16,890
Yeah, I'd say she's happy.

300
00:17:16,962 --> 00:17:20,025
I mean, she loves her classes,
loves the city,

301
00:17:21,737 --> 00:17:25,268
and last night she was out with
her friends till, like, 8 a.m.

302
00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:27,411
Wow.
What?

303
00:17:28,551 --> 00:17:30,714
I thought you were her friend.

304
00:17:36,868 --> 00:17:42,277
I am going to see Pam
'cause I feel like I should.

305
00:17:47,622 --> 00:17:50,423
When are you getting to Bruce?
Just a few more items.

306
00:17:50,495 --> 00:17:54,401
Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce!
Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce!

307
00:17:54,469 --> 00:17:56,884
All right! All right, all right,
all right! Here we go, here we go.

308
00:17:56,908 --> 00:17:58,706
All right,
big-ticket item.

309
00:17:59,814 --> 00:18:02,341
All right! In my pocket,

310
00:18:02,987 --> 00:18:05,891
I have two tickets

311
00:18:06,694 --> 00:18:09,165
to Mr. Bruce Springsteen.
Front...

312
00:18:10,768 --> 00:18:12,601
Where are those?

313
00:18:12,672 --> 00:18:14,836
Has anyone seen an envelope

314
00:18:14,911 --> 00:18:18,645
with Bruce Springsteen front row
tickets and backstage passes?

315
00:18:18,718 --> 00:18:21,121
Anybody seen something,
like, lying around?

316
00:18:21,190 --> 00:18:24,891
Do you want us to look for them?
No. I think they were stolen.

317
00:18:24,964 --> 00:18:28,095
I think they were stolen and
they're gone forever, so...

318
00:18:28,671 --> 00:18:32,475
That was
the last good item. So...

319
00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:35,950
Good job, everybody.
I have my hug.

320
00:18:36,020 --> 00:18:40,120
Yeah, well, Phyllis,
nobody really wants a hug, so...

321
00:18:40,361 --> 00:18:43,060
I'll bid on a hug.
She's your wife, you idiot.

322
00:18:43,134 --> 00:18:45,400
$100.
$200.

323
00:18:46,106 --> 00:18:48,406
What the hell is happening?
$250.

324
00:18:48,477 --> 00:18:49,478
What are you doing?

325
00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:51,743
I need a hug,
unless you're going to give me one.

326
00:18:51,818 --> 00:18:53,286
Not here.
$300.

327
00:18:53,354 --> 00:18:56,724
$300! We have $300.
$300 going once.

328
00:18:56,795 --> 00:19:00,792
$300 going twice.
$300 and one penny!

329
00:19:01,570 --> 00:19:03,130
$300 and one penny!
$300 and one penny!

330
00:19:03,207 --> 00:19:04,539
$325.
$325.

331
00:19:04,609 --> 00:19:05,668
$350!
$350.

332
00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:07,647
$350 and one penny!
$350 and one penny!

333
00:19:07,716 --> 00:19:09,208
$400.
$400. Hey, batter, batter.

334
00:19:09,286 --> 00:19:11,381
$400 and one penny!
$400 and one penny!

335
00:19:11,457 --> 00:19:13,154
$500!
$500! $500.

336
00:19:13,227 --> 00:19:14,718
Five...
$500 and one penny!

337
00:19:14,797 --> 00:19:17,393
$500 and one penny!
One million dollars!

338
00:19:17,469 --> 00:19:18,904
$700!
$700.

339
00:19:18,972 --> 00:19:21,340
$700 and one penny!

340
00:19:24,016 --> 00:19:25,314
$1,000!

341
00:19:27,022 --> 00:19:28,388
It's not worth it.

342
00:19:28,491 --> 00:19:30,552
$1,000 going once!
$1,000 going twice!

343
00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:33,965
Sold for $1,000!

344
00:19:38,144 --> 00:19:39,544
Nicely done.

345
00:19:54,543 --> 00:19:59,485
No. You know what?
No, because I'm not that guy,

346
00:20:00,421 --> 00:20:03,325
and we are not that couple.

347
00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:12,976
Hey, that looks good.

348
00:20:15,987 --> 00:20:17,785
Listen, about the tickets.

349
00:20:17,857 --> 00:20:22,799
It's sort of... Kind of a gray area
in terms of whether I had them.

350
00:20:23,936 --> 00:20:27,238
The Springsteen tickets
seemed too good to be true.

351
00:20:27,776 --> 00:20:31,842
But a lot of Michael
seems too good to be true.

352
00:20:32,786 --> 00:20:34,312
So far it's all true.

353
00:20:35,425 --> 00:20:39,867
But, yeah, those tickets really
seemed too good to be true.

354
00:20:52,326 --> 00:20:56,699
No. I did not know that
Michael was dating Holly.

355
00:20:57,351 --> 00:21:07,361
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.