1
00:00:04,947 --> 00:00:07,074
Dunder Mifflin,
this is Pam.

2
00:00:07,883 --> 00:00:09,180
I'm sorry,
he's not in yet.

3
00:00:09,251 --> 00:00:11,412
Would you like
his voicemail?

4
00:00:11,487 --> 00:00:13,546
Yeah!

5
00:00:14,123 --> 00:00:16,557
Yeah! Yeah! Okay.

6
00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:20,190
Twelve miles an hour.

7
00:00:20,262 --> 00:00:22,253
Eat that, Carl Lewis!

8
00:00:23,298 --> 00:00:25,630
Angela made several
911 calls about cars

9
00:00:25,701 --> 00:00:27,635
going too fast
in front of
the building,

10
00:00:27,703 --> 00:00:30,035
so the police put up
a radar gun.

11
00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:33,833
It's actually
caused a bit of
a traffic hazard.

12
00:00:37,646 --> 00:00:39,011
Wow, 13.

13
00:00:39,081 --> 00:00:40,810
No, no, no.
Yeah!

14
00:00:40,883 --> 00:00:42,680
There was wind.
I was just jogging.

15
00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:44,548
Dwight, there was wind.
I want a do over.

16
00:00:44,620 --> 00:00:46,781
No, no, no, it's not
your turn. All right,
13 is the new number.

17
00:00:46,855 --> 00:00:47,913
Oscar, go ahead.

18
00:00:47,990 --> 00:00:50,288
I want another try.
Here we go!

19
00:00:53,095 --> 00:00:54,926
Thirty-one! 31!

20
00:00:54,997 --> 00:00:56,089
There was a car.

21
00:00:56,165 --> 00:00:58,326
I was ahead of the car.
Thirty-one is my new number.

22
00:00:58,400 --> 00:00:59,765
Thirty-one is
humanly impossible.

23
00:00:59,835 --> 00:01:01,769
Go, Oscar.
Thirty-one is my number.

24
00:01:01,837 --> 00:01:03,805
That's impossible.
Beat it!

25
00:01:05,110 --> 00:01:11,184
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

26
00:01:25,260 --> 00:01:27,854
Today's a big day.
My presence has
been requested

27
00:01:27,930 --> 00:01:33,334
by Chief Financial Officer,
David Wallace.

28
00:01:35,871 --> 00:01:39,363
He says that
he wants to talk about
big picture stuff,

29
00:01:39,608 --> 00:01:43,772
and, I'll be honest,
I have little or no idea
what that means.

30
00:01:43,845 --> 00:01:46,336
So, probably bad.

31
00:01:48,250 --> 00:01:50,844
Quick announcement.
New year, new candy.

32
00:01:52,287 --> 00:01:54,187
Okay, be careful, Kevin.
They're kind of spicy.

33
00:01:54,256 --> 00:01:55,518
Hot Tamales.

34
00:01:55,591 --> 00:01:56,717
Yeah.
Uh-oh.

35
00:01:56,792 --> 00:01:58,419
So maybe just try
one at first,

36
00:01:58,493 --> 00:02:00,984
and then if it's okay,
have a couple more.

37
00:02:01,063 --> 00:02:04,226
Excuse me, everyone,
can I have the floor,
please?

38
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,262
Um...

39
00:02:06,935 --> 00:02:08,869
This is insanely awkward.

40
00:02:09,204 --> 00:02:12,640
It's kind of the elephant
in the room, so I'll just...

41
00:02:14,476 --> 00:02:16,774
No one has RSVPed
to our wedding yet,

42
00:02:16,845 --> 00:02:18,676
and the deadline
was yesterday.

43
00:02:19,781 --> 00:02:20,873
Wait, you still
don't know...

44
00:02:20,949 --> 00:02:22,940
No, no. No.

45
00:02:23,418 --> 00:02:24,510
Hmm?

46
00:02:24,586 --> 00:02:25,848
Nothing.
You still don't know...

47
00:02:25,921 --> 00:02:27,513
Why don't... Let's...
What are you doing?

48
00:02:27,589 --> 00:02:29,750
How about we just...
I just have to talk
to you for a second.

49
00:02:29,825 --> 00:02:31,087
Andy. Has...
Ah.

50
00:02:31,159 --> 00:02:33,093
No. No one has RSVPed,

51
00:02:33,161 --> 00:02:35,595
and I don't understand it,
and now you're
shutting me out.

52
00:02:35,664 --> 00:02:38,565
You're not even listening,
and that's really considerate.
Thank you.

53
00:02:38,634 --> 00:02:39,862
No, what I'm saying...
No, no.

54
00:02:39,935 --> 00:02:40,993
No, that's not...
I know...

55
00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:44,900
Andy still doesn't know
that Angela is having
an affair with Dwight.

56
00:02:45,173 --> 00:02:48,074
And it's been 17 days.

57
00:02:48,143 --> 00:02:50,077
I mean, eventually
he'll figure it out

58
00:02:50,145 --> 00:02:53,672
when their kids
have giant heads
and beet-stained teeth.

59
00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:56,343
But right now,
it's just awkward.

60
00:02:56,652 --> 00:02:58,847
How can
he still not know?

61
00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:00,945
We can't figure that out.
I can't take it anymore.

62
00:03:01,023 --> 00:03:02,650
Wait, what?
You can't take what?

63
00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:03,816
I'm telling Andy,
Dwight.

64
00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:04,984
No, you can't do that.
Yes.

65
00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:06,960
It shouldn't
come from you.
Who should it come from, then?

66
00:03:07,029 --> 00:03:08,053
Angela.
Angela.

67
00:03:08,130 --> 00:03:09,757
From Angela.
Angela.

68
00:03:10,098 --> 00:03:12,931
Are you still having
intercourse with her?

69
00:03:13,835 --> 00:03:16,201
What is wrong with you?
She is engaged.

70
00:03:16,271 --> 00:03:19,263
Did you ever
have intercourse
in this office?

71
00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:22,835
Are you serious?

72
00:03:24,646 --> 00:03:25,806
Where?

73
00:03:27,516 --> 00:03:28,676
Where?

74
00:03:31,553 --> 00:03:33,180
Where, Dwight?

75
00:03:33,488 --> 00:03:35,922
Seems like you
already know where.

76
00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:41,691
Kevin, you screwed
this form up again.

77
00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:43,594
The amount owed
goes at the top.

78
00:03:44,232 --> 00:03:46,097
Oh, I'm sorry.

79
00:03:46,168 --> 00:03:49,035
I didn't realize I was
doing something wrong.

80
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:54,140
If I had,
I would have admitted it
and stopped right away.

81
00:03:54,209 --> 00:03:55,267
That's enough.

82
00:03:55,344 --> 00:03:58,609
Because I wouldn't want
an innocent person

83
00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:01,513
who doesn't know anything
about the form...

84
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:06,250
What?

85
00:04:06,321 --> 00:04:07,481
That was good.

86
00:04:08,557 --> 00:04:10,184
It's just at the end
you weren't saying
something

87
00:04:10,258 --> 00:04:12,385
that could also
apply to the form.

88
00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:13,621
How about,

89
00:04:13,695 --> 00:04:17,222
"I'm sorry I did
such a whorish job
filling out this form"?

90
00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:18,766
There you go.

91
00:04:21,436 --> 00:04:23,461
That cannot be true!

92
00:04:23,939 --> 00:04:27,670
You're going to charge me
a fee to cut my own cake?

93
00:04:28,577 --> 00:04:30,408
No, no, no, no.

94
00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:31,912
What I'm saying is
I want to cut it myself.

95
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:33,038
Trade seats with me.

96
00:04:33,115 --> 00:04:34,139
No.

97
00:04:34,216 --> 00:04:35,911
I've got a better
angle on Pam.

98
00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:37,508
I can see everything.

99
00:04:37,586 --> 00:04:38,985
Please stop.

100
00:04:43,592 --> 00:04:45,184
I need a soup spoon.

101
00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:49,888
Rule 17,
don't turn your back on bears,
men you have wronged,

102
00:04:49,965 --> 00:04:52,229
or the dominant turkey
during mating season.

103
00:04:52,300 --> 00:04:56,464
There are 40 rules
all Schrute boys must learn
before the age of five.

104
00:04:57,172 --> 00:05:00,835
Learn your rules
You better learn your rules

105
00:05:00,909 --> 00:05:03,901
If you don't
you'll be eaten
in your sleep

106
00:05:18,660 --> 00:05:19,752
What is it?

107
00:05:19,828 --> 00:05:21,489
You've gotta tell
Andy about us.

108
00:05:21,563 --> 00:05:23,724
That is a terrible idea.
One of your worst.

109
00:05:23,799 --> 00:05:25,960
Get it over with.
Then we don't have
to hide anymore.

110
00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:27,729
You're expanding
on your worst idea.

111
00:05:27,803 --> 00:05:29,236
Do you love me or not?

112
00:05:29,304 --> 00:05:31,135
I've already admitted
that I do.

113
00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:33,106
Why do you keep
making me repeat it?

114
00:05:33,175 --> 00:05:35,473
Because you're
engaged to Andy.

115
00:05:47,088 --> 00:05:48,487
Well?

116
00:05:49,024 --> 00:05:50,787
Not yet.
When?

117
00:05:51,259 --> 00:05:52,590
When what?

118
00:05:54,296 --> 00:05:55,388
When what?

119
00:05:55,464 --> 00:05:57,432
You know
this can't go on.

120
00:05:57,833 --> 00:06:01,030
What can't go on?
We have to put
an end to this.

121
00:06:01,670 --> 00:06:03,262
Seems like...
Come on.

122
00:06:03,338 --> 00:06:06,774
you guys should be
hearing what I'm saying.

123
00:06:08,610 --> 00:06:10,942
This is really
not how this is
supposed to happen.

124
00:06:11,012 --> 00:06:13,207
Angela said
she was gonna tell him.
She's just not ready.

125
00:06:13,281 --> 00:06:15,215
When will she be ready?
I don't know.

126
00:06:15,283 --> 00:06:16,477
Is she crazy in bed?
Yes.

127
00:06:16,551 --> 00:06:17,540
Stop. What?
How so, specifically?

128
00:06:17,619 --> 00:06:18,916
Okay, listen.

129
00:06:18,987 --> 00:06:20,511
This shouldn't
happen at work.
Eager and flexible.

130
00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:21,749
And...
Really?

131
00:06:21,823 --> 00:06:22,949
this shouldn't be
coming from his boss.

132
00:06:23,024 --> 00:06:26,118
And we should also consider
the fact that that man
has an anger issue.

133
00:06:26,194 --> 00:06:27,786
Too late.
Well, it's not too late

134
00:06:27,863 --> 00:06:30,593
'cause you haven't
done anything.
I am already walking.

135
00:06:30,665 --> 00:06:33,429
Michael, once
this gets out...
Yes?

136
00:06:33,502 --> 00:06:35,231
I don't know how
it's gonna go down.

137
00:06:35,303 --> 00:06:37,032
Okay, what does that mean?

138
00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:38,800
Might get ugly.

139
00:06:38,874 --> 00:06:43,038
Jim, this has to get out
so we can all deal with it.

140
00:06:43,578 --> 00:06:45,307
But you're leaving.

141
00:06:47,482 --> 00:06:49,507
Have
a good trip.
Thanks.

142
00:06:50,218 --> 00:06:52,049
Andy?
Yeah?

143
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:53,451
Walk with me.

144
00:06:53,522 --> 00:06:54,648
Will do, boss man.

145
00:07:05,367 --> 00:07:08,530
I do not
have much time.

146
00:07:10,705 --> 00:07:11,967
Car's all the way
over there.

147
00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:15,339
To tell you
what I have
to tell you.

148
00:07:15,777 --> 00:07:20,544
And just bear in mind
that when I say
these things

149
00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:26,785
that are bad things
that you hear
in your ears,

150
00:07:27,455 --> 00:07:30,481
this is something that I,

151
00:07:30,559 --> 00:07:33,027
if I were you,
that I wouldn't want to hear.

152
00:07:33,094 --> 00:07:34,288
You're not making
any sense.

153
00:07:34,362 --> 00:07:37,695
Well, no, I'm not.

154
00:07:37,766 --> 00:07:40,963
So I, I'm not
very articulate today,

155
00:07:41,036 --> 00:07:43,470
so I'll just leave it
for another time.

156
00:07:44,439 --> 00:07:46,168
Another day.
All righty.

157
00:07:46,241 --> 00:07:48,334
Which will be fine.
I am off.

158
00:07:48,410 --> 00:07:50,810
Have a good meeting.
Thank you.

159
00:07:51,379 --> 00:07:53,142
Kick Wallace's ass.

160
00:07:53,214 --> 00:07:55,375
Okay, I will.

161
00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:58,983
Dwight and Angela are
having an affair, so...

162
00:07:59,054 --> 00:08:01,784
I can't hear you
through the glass.

163
00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:03,824
Dwight and Angela
are having an affair.

164
00:08:03,959 --> 00:08:06,359
They've been sleeping
together for some time.

165
00:08:06,428 --> 00:08:09,295
That was the news.
I wanted to let you know.

166
00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:11,798
What?
All right. See you later.

167
00:08:14,936 --> 00:08:16,836
Are you serious?
Yeah.

168
00:08:36,992 --> 00:08:38,892
I knew something bad
was gonna happen today.

169
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:39,984
You said that
yesterday.

170
00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:42,029
Yeah, my neighbor
got murdered.

171
00:08:42,097 --> 00:08:43,257
What are you standing for?

172
00:08:43,331 --> 00:08:46,198
If I'm sitting,
I can't disable
his neck or his groin.

173
00:08:46,267 --> 00:08:48,258
You're not gonna do
anything to his neck
or his groin.

174
00:08:48,336 --> 00:08:50,702
If I'm sitting,
I don't have
the option to.

175
00:08:50,772 --> 00:08:54,765
Dwight, I'm in charge
while Michael's gone,
and I need you to sit.

176
00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:12,886
I need to talk to you.

177
00:09:12,961 --> 00:09:14,121
We can talk right here.

178
00:09:14,462 --> 00:09:16,555
I need to talk to you
in private.

179
00:09:16,631 --> 00:09:17,620
We're not listening.

180
00:09:17,699 --> 00:09:20,099
Let's go to the
conference room.

181
00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:24,898
Is it true?

182
00:09:25,306 --> 00:09:27,638
What have you heard?
That you're sleeping
with Dwight.

183
00:09:27,709 --> 00:09:29,176
That doesn't
sound like me.

184
00:09:29,244 --> 00:09:30,268
Is it true?

185
00:09:30,345 --> 00:09:32,142
Andy, I'm engaged
to you.

186
00:09:32,213 --> 00:09:34,943
I mean, we just
signed off on
our wedding flowers.

187
00:09:35,016 --> 00:09:36,881
Would I have said yes
to formal chrysanthemums

188
00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:38,282
if I didn't want
to get married?

189
00:09:38,353 --> 00:09:40,378
And we went through
all that stuff with
our wedding cake.

190
00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:43,913
Just answer the question.
Are you sleeping with Dwight?

191
00:09:45,326 --> 00:09:46,793
A little bit.

192
00:09:48,730 --> 00:09:50,027
How long has this
been going on?

193
00:09:50,098 --> 00:09:51,258
I don't know.

194
00:09:51,332 --> 00:09:54,096
I mean, we were
together, and then
he killed Sprinkles,

195
00:09:54,169 --> 00:09:56,034
and then we stopped
and...

196
00:09:57,405 --> 00:10:00,135
I don't know
exactly when we
started up again.

197
00:10:00,208 --> 00:10:01,300
Who else knows about it?

198
00:10:01,376 --> 00:10:02,434
Michael.

199
00:10:02,510 --> 00:10:04,034
Who else?

200
00:10:04,112 --> 00:10:06,740
Let me think about it.
I, um...

201
00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:09,138
They're...

202
00:10:09,217 --> 00:10:10,309
Oh, God.

203
00:10:10,885 --> 00:10:12,113
Come on!

204
00:10:14,289 --> 00:10:17,554
So listen, Michael,
your branch has been
doing great lately,

205
00:10:18,226 --> 00:10:21,286
and your sales staff
is reporting
very strong numbers.

206
00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:24,191
Outperforming last year,
in fact.

207
00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:28,361
And I don't know
exactly how to put this,

208
00:10:29,370 --> 00:10:35,104
but what are you
doing right?

209
00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:37,869
Right what?

210
00:10:37,946 --> 00:10:40,039
Utica, Albany,
all the other branches
are struggling,

211
00:10:40,115 --> 00:10:43,846
but your branch
is reporting
strong numbers.

212
00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:46,286
Look, you're not
our most traditional guy,

213
00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:50,222
but clearly something
you are doing is right,

214
00:10:50,291 --> 00:10:53,385
and I just...
I need to get a sense
of what that is.

215
00:10:55,163 --> 00:10:59,156
David, here it is.
My philosophy
is basically this.

216
00:10:59,801 --> 00:11:02,235
And this is something
that I live by,

217
00:11:02,303 --> 00:11:04,396
and I always have,
and I always will.

218
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:11,270
Don't ever,
for any reason,
do anything to anyone

219
00:11:11,846 --> 00:11:17,648
for any reason ever,
no matter what,
no matter where,

220
00:11:18,953 --> 00:11:23,981
or who,
or who you are with,
or where you are going,

221
00:11:24,359 --> 00:11:27,328
or where you've been

222
00:11:29,964 --> 00:11:31,226
ever,

223
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:34,031
for any reason
whatsoever...

224
00:11:34,102 --> 00:11:36,935
Sometimes I'll start
a sentence and I don't
even know where it's going.

225
00:11:37,005 --> 00:11:39,565
I just hope
I find it
along the way.

226
00:11:39,641 --> 00:11:41,108
Like an improv
conversation.

227
00:11:42,277 --> 00:11:43,676
An improversation.

228
00:11:44,345 --> 00:11:45,835
This is gonna sound
sort of high maintenance,

229
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:48,314
but could we have it,
like, three degrees
cooler in here?

230
00:11:48,383 --> 00:11:50,874
I always think better
when it's cooler.

231
00:11:50,952 --> 00:11:53,682
Here's the thing,
Michael is doing
something right,

232
00:11:53,755 --> 00:11:55,620
and in this
economic climate,

233
00:11:55,690 --> 00:11:58,056
no method of success
can be ignored.

234
00:11:58,126 --> 00:12:01,562
It's not really a time
for executives to start
getting judgmental now.

235
00:12:01,696 --> 00:12:03,095
It's Hail Mary time.

236
00:12:03,164 --> 00:12:06,099
Hey, what say
we order up some pasta?

237
00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:09,233
What say we do.

238
00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:13,002
Standard, you know.
Nothing fancy.

239
00:12:13,074 --> 00:12:14,371
So, like, missionary?

240
00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:16,273
I said nothing fancy.

241
00:12:16,344 --> 00:12:17,606
Do you love him?

242
00:12:18,079 --> 00:12:19,478
I love you.

243
00:12:19,547 --> 00:12:21,105
Why should I believe that?

244
00:12:21,182 --> 00:12:24,743
Andy, we are at
a crossroads here,

245
00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:28,221
and we can either give in
to what people are saying,

246
00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:29,688
that we're not
good together...

247
00:12:29,757 --> 00:12:30,781
Who says that?

248
00:12:30,859 --> 00:12:33,157
or we can
prove them wrong.

249
00:12:34,229 --> 00:12:36,129
Let's prove
them wrong.

250
00:12:44,239 --> 00:12:45,570
Where's Dwight?

251
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:46,971
You okay, man?

252
00:12:47,041 --> 00:12:51,671
No, not at all, actually.
But thanks for asking.
Appreciate it.

253
00:12:51,746 --> 00:12:53,714
You know what?
I'd also like to
take this opportunity

254
00:12:53,781 --> 00:12:57,046
to thank all of you
for lying to my face

255
00:12:57,685 --> 00:12:59,812
and not telling me
what's been going on
this entire time.

256
00:12:59,888 --> 00:13:01,480
You are welcome.

257
00:13:07,228 --> 00:13:08,252
Dwight.

258
00:13:10,031 --> 00:13:11,089
Andy.

259
00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:14,157
It's over.

260
00:13:14,235 --> 00:13:15,827
Good.
She broke up with you.

261
00:13:15,904 --> 00:13:18,896
No, it's over
between you two.

262
00:13:19,474 --> 00:13:22,443
No way.
I am not giving up.

263
00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:24,808
You have to.
No, I don't.

264
00:13:25,213 --> 00:13:28,512
She doesn't love you.
She's marrying me.

265
00:13:28,583 --> 00:13:29,880
Well, I don't know
about that

266
00:13:29,951 --> 00:13:34,479
because she certainly
seems to enjoy making
lovemaking with me.

267
00:13:34,555 --> 00:13:36,216
Angela Bernard...

268
00:13:36,291 --> 00:13:38,282
Will never be her name.

269
00:13:38,593 --> 00:13:41,756
Will be her name
and you will have
to call her that.

270
00:13:41,829 --> 00:13:43,126
I don't think so.

271
00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:46,291
Hey, guys.
Why don't we just
cool off a bit?

272
00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:47,493
I'm telling you
to back down.

273
00:13:47,568 --> 00:13:49,126
And I'm telling you
that I will never
back down.

274
00:13:49,203 --> 00:13:50,227
Then I'll make you.

275
00:13:50,305 --> 00:13:51,795
Oh, really? How are
you going to do that?

276
00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:53,238
Through the use of force.

277
00:13:53,308 --> 00:13:54,536
That is very general

278
00:13:54,609 --> 00:13:56,076
and does not scare me
in the slightest.

279
00:13:56,144 --> 00:13:57,577
I will fight you.

280
00:13:57,645 --> 00:14:00,910
Nope.
Okay, fine. Good! A duel.

281
00:14:00,982 --> 00:14:03,109
The winner gets Angela.
Fine!

282
00:14:03,184 --> 00:14:04,651
Fine!
This is nuts.

283
00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:06,152
What is your weapon?
Okay, you know what?

284
00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:07,278
That's enough
because...

285
00:14:07,355 --> 00:14:08,413
Hey, this is none
of your business.

286
00:14:08,489 --> 00:14:10,923
Hey, it is my business
what happens at work.

287
00:14:10,992 --> 00:14:13,358
Guess what?
Not happening at work.
Yes.

288
00:14:13,428 --> 00:14:15,191
We're gonna
do it outside.
Outside of work.

289
00:14:15,263 --> 00:14:18,562
None of your business.
None of your business, then.

290
00:14:18,633 --> 00:14:20,123
Good, so what weapon?

291
00:14:20,201 --> 00:14:21,225
My bare hands.

292
00:14:21,302 --> 00:14:24,271
That is stupid. I will use
a sword, and I will cut off
your bare hands.

293
00:14:24,339 --> 00:14:25,704
Then I'll get
something, too.

294
00:14:25,773 --> 00:14:28,435
I've had two men
fight over me before.

295
00:14:28,509 --> 00:14:31,034
Usually it's over
which one gets to
hold the camcorder.

296
00:14:31,112 --> 00:14:34,275
Angela, you have
to put a stop to
this right now.

297
00:14:38,052 --> 00:14:40,646
I will respect
the results
of the duel.

298
00:14:41,122 --> 00:14:43,454
Of course you will.
I call loser.

299
00:14:43,791 --> 00:14:48,490
I will be taking
my break at 4:00
in the parking lot.

300
00:14:49,397 --> 00:14:51,228
I will also be
taking my break

301
00:14:51,299 --> 00:14:54,200
at the exact same time
and in the same location.

302
00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:57,332
What a coincidence.
Hmm.

303
00:15:05,847 --> 00:15:09,510
So, I either
get more involved
or I take a sick day.

304
00:15:11,652 --> 00:15:14,621
Leaving Dwight in charge.
Oh, God.

305
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,231
How'd that get there?

306
00:15:31,739 --> 00:15:34,230
There's a star-shaped
thing taped under
the kitchen table.

307
00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:35,935
Thanks, Meredith.

308
00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:38,745
So I was in the office,

309
00:15:39,447 --> 00:15:44,544
and I look over to
our accounting division,
and there's Kevin Malone.

310
00:15:44,852 --> 00:15:48,481
Kevin is wearing
a jacket that I've
never seen before,

311
00:15:48,556 --> 00:15:51,184
and I call over
to Kevin,

312
00:15:51,259 --> 00:15:55,423
"Kevin, is that
a tweed jacket?"

313
00:15:56,097 --> 00:15:57,359
And he looks at me
and he says,

314
00:15:57,432 --> 00:15:59,696
"Michael, yes,
it is a tweed jacket."

315
00:15:59,767 --> 00:16:01,735
And I look back
at him and I say,

316
00:16:01,803 --> 00:16:06,297
"I feel the need,
the need for tweed."

317
00:16:08,609 --> 00:16:10,440
It's hard to try
and evaluate yourself,
Michael,

318
00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:12,706
but I appreciate
you trying.

319
00:16:13,748 --> 00:16:15,477
And thanks for coming in.
Oh!

320
00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:17,382
Thank you.
Yes.

321
00:16:17,452 --> 00:16:19,215
I have to say,
I am so impressed

322
00:16:19,287 --> 00:16:21,721
with the potential
you see in me.

323
00:16:22,957 --> 00:16:24,788
Yeah.
Okay.

324
00:16:30,998 --> 00:16:32,590
Yeah, finish up.

325
00:16:33,634 --> 00:16:37,161
Come on! Where are you?

326
00:16:38,172 --> 00:16:40,265
Let's do this thing!

327
00:16:41,843 --> 00:16:43,640
Come on!
Come on out!

328
00:16:44,879 --> 00:16:47,143
I can't believe
they're gonna
fight over me.

329
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:50,480
I guess people
have fewer choices
as they get older.

330
00:16:50,685 --> 00:16:51,947
Come on!

331
00:16:52,019 --> 00:16:53,919
Hey, has anything
happened yet?

332
00:16:53,988 --> 00:16:55,387
Where are you?
It's 4:10.

333
00:16:55,456 --> 00:16:56,480
I don't think
he's gonna show.

334
00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:59,583
Oh, come on, man.
Believe in something.

335
00:16:59,660 --> 00:17:06,122
Come on, coward!
Where are you?
Where...

336
00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:14,432
"From the desk
of Andrew Bernard."

337
00:17:16,043 --> 00:17:17,943
A note. Pathetic.

338
00:17:19,247 --> 00:17:23,809
"Dear Dwight, by now
you have received my note.
How are you? I am well.

339
00:17:23,885 --> 00:17:26,479
"You are no doubt wondering
why I have left this note.

340
00:17:26,554 --> 00:17:28,852
"It's come to my attention
that in any physical match
with you,

341
00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:31,221
"I would surely
be bested." True.

342
00:17:32,226 --> 00:17:36,185
"The soft underbelly
of my refined upbringing
is my soft underbelly."

343
00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:38,459
There's Andy.
He's in his car.

344
00:17:38,533 --> 00:17:39,830
You guys,
what is he doing?

345
00:17:39,901 --> 00:17:41,528
Why isn't Dwight
turning around?

346
00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:45,060
The Prius is silent
if he keeps it under
five miles per hour.

347
00:17:45,173 --> 00:17:46,470
He deserves the win.

348
00:17:46,541 --> 00:17:48,099
"Alas, after
much consideration..."

349
00:17:48,176 --> 00:17:49,336
Oh, my God!

350
00:17:49,410 --> 00:17:50,434
What's happening?

351
00:17:50,511 --> 00:17:52,809
Andy's running
over Dwight with his car.

352
00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:55,713
Whoa! What are you...
Hey, hey!

353
00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:56,807
Yeah!

354
00:17:58,019 --> 00:17:59,008
Come on! Ow!

355
00:17:59,987 --> 00:18:01,045
My God.

356
00:18:02,023 --> 00:18:04,014
You give up?
Never!

357
00:18:04,091 --> 00:18:05,854
Get out and face me
like a man!

358
00:18:05,927 --> 00:18:08,760
I am a man!
I'm a bigger man
than you'll ever be!

359
00:18:08,829 --> 00:18:11,024
I would never sleep
with another mars fiancee!

360
00:18:11,098 --> 00:18:14,261
You're not a man!
You don't know how
to take care of her!

361
00:18:14,335 --> 00:18:16,895
All you do is
dress fancy and sing.

362
00:18:18,906 --> 00:18:19,998
What does that mean?

363
00:18:20,074 --> 00:18:21,473
You can't even
protect her!

364
00:18:21,542 --> 00:18:24,170
Protect her from what?
Bears, you idiot?

365
00:18:24,245 --> 00:18:26,440
Whers the last time
you saw a damn bear
in Scranton?

366
00:18:26,514 --> 00:18:28,414
Last year, idiot!

367
00:18:28,482 --> 00:18:30,882
Dwight, are your
legs broken?

368
00:18:30,952 --> 00:18:32,783
No, my right one's
falling asleep
a little bit.

369
00:18:32,853 --> 00:18:33,945
Andy,
are you all right?

370
00:18:34,021 --> 00:18:36,114
Go away, Tuna!
I'm winning this!

371
00:18:36,190 --> 00:18:38,215
Yeah, back off.
This isn't your fight.

372
00:18:38,292 --> 00:18:41,125
Oh! How much is this
gonna cost? Oh!

373
00:18:41,195 --> 00:18:43,493
What? Trust fund'll
take care of that.

374
00:18:44,031 --> 00:18:46,090
What did you say?
I'm sorry,
I couldn't hear you.

375
00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:47,566
I said...

376
00:18:47,635 --> 00:18:49,865
What? You stupid idiot!

377
00:18:49,937 --> 00:18:52,428
You're like a big...
You're like a Sasquatch.
You live in the woods!

378
00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:55,339
Sasquatches are
the strongest animal
on the planet!

379
00:18:55,409 --> 00:18:57,400
So fine,
call me a Sasquatch.

380
00:18:57,478 --> 00:19:00,311
I don't get it!
How could she be sleeping
with you this whole time

381
00:19:00,381 --> 00:19:02,941
and only sleep
with me twice?

382
00:19:03,017 --> 00:19:04,951
What?
What?

383
00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:06,945
She's sleeping with you?

384
00:19:07,021 --> 00:19:09,785
I'm her fiance.

385
00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:11,688
She said she was only
sleeping with me.

386
00:19:55,202 --> 00:19:58,262
Yes, hi,
my last name is Bernard,

387
00:19:58,339 --> 00:20:02,139
and I would like to
cancel a wedding cake
that I had ordered.

388
00:20:03,878 --> 00:20:07,814
B-E-R-N-A-R-D.

389
00:20:09,850 --> 00:20:12,250
Yeah, one shaped
like a sailboat.

390
00:20:14,655 --> 00:20:16,486
Yep, that's the one.

391
00:20:18,459 --> 00:20:19,551
Thank you.

392
00:20:23,064 --> 00:20:24,224
Wow, what a day.

393
00:20:25,366 --> 00:20:27,095
I thought I was
gonna get chewed out,

394
00:20:27,168 --> 00:20:30,899
but hold on,
here's an attaboy
for you. What?

395
00:20:31,839 --> 00:20:34,637
Rollercoaster ride.
Rollercoaster.

396
00:20:35,009 --> 00:20:39,207
It just goes to show,
you leave Scranton,
exciting things can happen.

397
00:20:41,415 --> 00:20:51,415
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