1 00:00:05,866 --> 00:00:11,946 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:00:13,786 --> 00:00:15,847 This morning, the phone guy comes in 3 00:00:15,925 --> 00:00:19,329 and he shows Michael that our phones have a PA function. 4 00:00:19,698 --> 00:00:21,565 And then he just left. 5 00:00:21,870 --> 00:00:23,931 This is your captain speaking. 6 00:00:24,008 --> 00:00:27,606 The office will be flying at an altitude of two stories. 7 00:00:27,681 --> 00:00:29,583 Look out your left-hand window 8 00:00:29,652 --> 00:00:31,781 and you will see Vance Refrigeration. 9 00:00:33,359 --> 00:00:37,459 I am the ghost of salesmen past. 10 00:00:37,534 --> 00:00:40,062 Do not come near me. 11 00:00:46,652 --> 00:00:48,645 Yes, Michael Scott for Dr. Johnson, please. 12 00:00:49,124 --> 00:00:52,096 Hello, Doctor. I was just following up about my mole again. 13 00:00:52,798 --> 00:00:56,431 Now, I was looking online about sebaceous zits. 14 00:00:56,907 --> 00:00:59,002 I have not been squeezing it. 15 00:00:59,211 --> 00:01:00,804 Could I stick it with a pin? 16 00:01:02,217 --> 00:01:04,619 Toby Flenderson to the principal's office. 17 00:01:04,688 --> 00:01:07,957 Your mother called and it appears that you wet the bed again, 18 00:01:08,029 --> 00:01:11,729 so you have to get home to wash your sheets because they're yellow 19 00:01:11,802 --> 00:01:13,829 and they're wet with your urine. 20 00:01:16,312 --> 00:01:18,544 And, at 6'6", 21 00:01:18,616 --> 00:01:24,322 from the University of North Carolina, Jim Halpert! 22 00:01:24,395 --> 00:01:25,864 That's pretty funny. 23 00:01:25,931 --> 00:01:29,426 Hey, you know what? Did I drop my... What the heck? 24 00:01:30,106 --> 00:01:32,133 Is that... You find it? 25 00:01:32,210 --> 00:01:34,646 I didn't. I'll look somewhere else. 26 00:01:34,715 --> 00:01:36,344 All right. All right. 27 00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:39,153 Would you like fries with that? 28 00:01:39,224 --> 00:01:41,160 Please drive around. 29 00:02:13,192 --> 00:02:14,353 Hello? 30 00:02:16,632 --> 00:02:17,793 Good morning. Good morning. 31 00:02:17,869 --> 00:02:19,235 You ready? 32 00:02:23,112 --> 00:02:26,107 And we're off. Like a herd of turtles. 33 00:02:32,264 --> 00:02:33,961 Well, Pam and I have eloped. 34 00:02:34,034 --> 00:02:36,766 Actually, we just robbed a bank 35 00:02:36,839 --> 00:02:38,331 and we are on the lam. 36 00:02:38,409 --> 00:02:42,543 No, seriously, I am on a lecture circuit. 37 00:02:42,751 --> 00:02:46,316 Apparently, Scranton has the best sales of any regional branch, 38 00:02:46,725 --> 00:02:50,187 so David Wallace has asked me to go to all the branches 39 00:02:50,868 --> 00:02:54,068 except Nashua. Still a little bit raw there. 40 00:02:54,141 --> 00:02:56,202 Um... But I am going to these branches 41 00:02:56,278 --> 00:02:59,478 and I am telling them my secret recipe for success, 42 00:02:59,551 --> 00:03:04,721 my 11 business herbs and spices in a sales batter. 43 00:03:06,298 --> 00:03:09,931 Oh, that. Well, that is Pam. 44 00:03:10,006 --> 00:03:13,912 Pam is coming along as my assistant and my driver so I can focus. 45 00:03:14,348 --> 00:03:16,079 And I like to pack heavy. 46 00:03:16,151 --> 00:03:17,414 He brought a sled. 47 00:03:17,487 --> 00:03:19,252 No, that is a toboggan. 48 00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,204 You never know when you're going to find a snowy hill. 49 00:03:21,228 --> 00:03:22,253 So... 50 00:03:22,797 --> 00:03:24,858 Every magician has a hot assistant 51 00:03:24,936 --> 00:03:26,872 and every rock star has a roadie 52 00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:29,376 and Pam is my hot roadie. 53 00:03:29,845 --> 00:03:31,975 Yeah, I love being on the road, 54 00:03:32,050 --> 00:03:33,348 but I especially love 55 00:03:33,419 --> 00:03:34,614 the time and a half pay, 56 00:03:34,688 --> 00:03:36,681 24 hours a day for three days. 57 00:03:36,759 --> 00:03:39,424 'Cause I have a mortgage now. Got to bring home the bucks. 58 00:03:39,498 --> 00:03:42,095 No, don't say "bucks." It's not ladylike. 59 00:03:42,837 --> 00:03:48,304 Here we go. Okay, so what we do is we drive all day 60 00:03:48,749 --> 00:03:51,312 and we stay in hotels together at night. Separate rooms. 61 00:03:51,388 --> 00:03:53,435 Well, that goes without saying. I'm gonna say it anyway. 62 00:03:53,459 --> 00:03:56,625 Hey, look at what you're wearing again, Pam. 63 00:03:57,334 --> 00:03:59,931 Have you ever seen a magician's assistant? That's... 64 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:03,344 This is a new cardigan. Kind of blech. 65 00:04:03,679 --> 00:04:05,946 Maybe you could tie it around your waist 66 00:04:06,018 --> 00:04:07,596 or lose the shirt underneath or something. 67 00:04:07,620 --> 00:04:09,715 No. No? All right. 68 00:04:13,699 --> 00:04:15,464 Hi, Kelly. Screw you. 69 00:04:17,107 --> 00:04:19,703 Excuse me. That is no way to address a superior. 70 00:04:19,778 --> 00:04:21,805 Oh, yeah? Screw you, too. 71 00:04:23,452 --> 00:04:25,752 Whoa. What was that all about? 72 00:04:25,823 --> 00:04:27,690 You forgot her birthday. 73 00:04:27,995 --> 00:04:29,657 It was yesterday. 74 00:04:33,339 --> 00:04:34,568 Go ahead. Go ahead. 75 00:04:34,641 --> 00:04:35,642 You do it. 76 00:04:35,710 --> 00:04:37,202 Okay. I insist. 77 00:04:38,315 --> 00:04:40,512 Basically, after Phyllis blackmailed Angela, 78 00:04:40,586 --> 00:04:41,988 Michael asked them both to step down 79 00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:44,170 from the Party Planning Committee because there was too much drama. 80 00:04:44,194 --> 00:04:46,187 What he said was... Just... Easy. 81 00:04:46,265 --> 00:04:49,726 There was a problem with having one head of the Party Planning Committee. 82 00:04:50,173 --> 00:04:53,771 She becomes too powerful, so he appointed two heads. 83 00:04:54,014 --> 00:04:55,325 Party planning? I am a paper salesman. 84 00:04:55,349 --> 00:04:56,461 This is literally the stupidest thing 85 00:04:56,485 --> 00:04:58,327 I've ever done in my life. This is humiliating. 86 00:04:58,990 --> 00:05:01,051 That's on my side. 87 00:05:03,232 --> 00:05:04,291 So this is fun. 88 00:05:04,668 --> 00:05:07,231 My birthday was yesterday, and everybody forgot. 89 00:05:07,774 --> 00:05:10,245 I got really dressed up and excited and no one said a word. 90 00:05:10,313 --> 00:05:12,146 There wasn't even a party. 91 00:05:12,217 --> 00:05:15,849 I think sometimes people are really mean to the hot, popular girl. 92 00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:17,383 Can I turn on the radio? 93 00:05:17,494 --> 00:05:19,988 No, I need silence or Sam Kinison to prepare. 94 00:05:20,666 --> 00:05:22,813 But then you fall asleep and there's nothing for me to do. 95 00:05:22,837 --> 00:05:25,104 Then listen to your iPod, Pam. That's dangerous. 96 00:05:25,176 --> 00:05:28,114 Well, then... Hey, you know what? Let's just talk. 97 00:05:28,616 --> 00:05:30,518 That's okay. I can... I'm fine. 98 00:05:30,586 --> 00:05:32,715 I'll just play a song in my head. 99 00:05:37,033 --> 00:05:39,060 You nervous about seeing Karen again? 100 00:05:39,237 --> 00:05:41,400 Since she was the other woman? 101 00:05:42,110 --> 00:05:43,875 Actually, you were the other woman, so... 102 00:05:43,947 --> 00:05:46,247 No, that was a long time ago. 103 00:05:46,785 --> 00:05:48,379 Is that why you're wearing makeup today? 104 00:05:48,455 --> 00:05:51,552 No, I'm not even wearing that much. 105 00:05:51,728 --> 00:05:54,291 I hate the idea that someone out there hates me. 106 00:05:54,768 --> 00:05:57,672 I even hate thinking that Al-Qaeda hates me. 107 00:05:58,409 --> 00:05:59,935 I think if they got to know me, 108 00:06:00,012 --> 00:06:01,640 they wouldn't hate me. 109 00:06:02,050 --> 00:06:04,954 But Karen knows me and she still hates me, so... 110 00:06:05,389 --> 00:06:07,052 Oh, this is a nice office. 111 00:06:07,126 --> 00:06:10,998 You don't have to lie. Through here. 112 00:06:12,737 --> 00:06:13,738 Um, Phyllis? 113 00:06:15,610 --> 00:06:16,839 Who's that? 114 00:06:16,913 --> 00:06:19,008 She's out of your league, Andy. 115 00:06:20,086 --> 00:06:23,217 For your information, I've been with lots of beautiful women. 116 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:24,985 Sexually? 117 00:06:25,864 --> 00:06:27,492 This conversation is over. 118 00:06:27,667 --> 00:06:29,261 I am single now. 119 00:06:29,804 --> 00:06:34,405 What we have here is the ultimate smackdown between the Nard-Dog 120 00:06:35,349 --> 00:06:38,753 and crippling despair, loneliness and depression. 121 00:06:41,261 --> 00:06:42,854 I intend to win. 122 00:06:43,532 --> 00:06:45,399 We just wanted to say we are very sorry. 123 00:06:45,469 --> 00:06:46,648 Screw you guys. You're dead to me. 124 00:06:46,672 --> 00:06:48,198 If you say screw you one more time... 125 00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:50,288 Yeah, screw you, beet farmer, I didn't forget your birthday. 126 00:06:50,312 --> 00:06:51,975 I would never do that! Hey! Hey! 127 00:06:52,050 --> 00:06:53,143 Guys, guys, guys. 128 00:06:53,686 --> 00:06:55,648 We just want to make it up to you. What can we do? 129 00:06:56,391 --> 00:07:00,297 I guess my only wish would be that nothing so terrible would ever happen 130 00:07:00,366 --> 00:07:01,527 to anyone else ever again. 131 00:07:01,601 --> 00:07:03,730 Oh, God. Okay. 132 00:07:03,806 --> 00:07:06,487 In a way, it's good that it happened to me because at least I can bear it. 133 00:07:06,511 --> 00:07:08,845 What kind of cake do you want, imbecile? 134 00:07:08,917 --> 00:07:09,918 Ice cream. 135 00:07:13,659 --> 00:07:16,222 Okay, point at the Dunder Mifflin. 136 00:07:25,516 --> 00:07:27,816 Hello, Rolando, how are you? Hi. 137 00:07:27,888 --> 00:07:30,791 Rolando, I'd like you to meet Pam. 138 00:07:30,861 --> 00:07:32,386 She is our receptionist. 139 00:07:32,730 --> 00:07:33,755 You know what? Maybe 140 00:07:33,832 --> 00:07:36,429 you guys could go out on a little friend date sometime. 141 00:07:37,140 --> 00:07:40,510 You're late. Everyone's waiting in the conference room. 142 00:07:40,579 --> 00:07:42,572 Karen will be right here to take you over. Okay. 143 00:07:42,850 --> 00:07:45,845 Don't be nervous. Just picture her naked. 144 00:07:45,957 --> 00:07:46,958 Stop it. 145 00:07:47,026 --> 00:07:48,204 That's what I do. Steal my trick. 146 00:07:48,228 --> 00:07:49,719 - Please cut it out. - Hey. 147 00:07:50,599 --> 00:07:51,863 Hi, guys. 148 00:07:52,603 --> 00:07:53,970 Oh, my God. 149 00:07:56,144 --> 00:07:57,169 Is that Jim's? 150 00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:58,339 - What? - Michael! 151 00:07:58,415 --> 00:07:59,440 Of course not. Okay. 152 00:07:59,651 --> 00:08:02,680 Wow. Oh, man. My head just exploded. 153 00:08:03,592 --> 00:08:06,792 Whoo! Thank God for everybody, right? 154 00:08:07,733 --> 00:08:12,072 Wow, you're huge! That's incredible. 155 00:08:12,710 --> 00:08:15,705 I... God, sorry, sorry. My head is... I'm just... 156 00:08:15,783 --> 00:08:19,518 I'm trying to figure out the last time that you and Jim had sex, and... 157 00:08:19,591 --> 00:08:22,114 Let's just get this over with, shall we? Okay. Mmm-hmm. 158 00:08:22,263 --> 00:08:23,731 Ten? Ten months? 159 00:08:30,247 --> 00:08:31,840 Are you kidding? 160 00:08:31,917 --> 00:08:33,442 Well, I'm not done yet. 161 00:08:33,653 --> 00:08:36,922 Dwight, this fits in the palm of my hand. 162 00:08:37,361 --> 00:08:38,955 You haven't blown them up enough. 163 00:08:39,598 --> 00:08:41,795 Why have you chosen brown and gray balloons? 164 00:08:41,870 --> 00:08:43,338 They match the carpet. 165 00:08:43,406 --> 00:08:44,806 What is that? 166 00:08:44,910 --> 00:08:46,276 "It is your birthday," period. 167 00:08:46,345 --> 00:08:47,574 It's a statement of fact. 168 00:08:47,648 --> 00:08:49,311 Not even an exclamation point? 169 00:08:49,385 --> 00:08:50,683 This is more professional. 170 00:08:50,754 --> 00:08:52,747 It's not like she discovered a cure for cancer. 171 00:08:52,825 --> 00:08:55,319 I can't believe how bad this looks. 172 00:08:56,332 --> 00:08:57,995 Are you trying to hurt my feelings? 173 00:08:58,069 --> 00:08:59,430 Because, if so, you are succeeding. 174 00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:03,404 Fortunately, my feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal mars. 175 00:09:03,513 --> 00:09:04,514 Okay, good then. 176 00:09:04,582 --> 00:09:05,994 Have you collected the money from everyone? 177 00:09:06,018 --> 00:09:07,816 I am working on it. How much do you have? 178 00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:09,090 $6. 179 00:09:09,725 --> 00:09:13,187 That's how much you and I contributed! Damn it, Jim! 180 00:09:13,266 --> 00:09:14,598 I said I was working on it. 181 00:09:17,608 --> 00:09:19,441 Trying to see what CDs she's got. 182 00:09:20,347 --> 00:09:22,944 It's good to know the deets about the girl you're wooing. 183 00:09:23,553 --> 00:09:25,022 Uh... Ah-ha! 184 00:09:25,090 --> 00:09:27,424 Feist! Yes! 185 00:09:39,485 --> 00:09:40,510 No! 186 00:09:41,990 --> 00:09:43,549 Oh, my God. 187 00:09:45,363 --> 00:09:49,098 Oh, no. That is so awful. That is the worst news. 188 00:09:49,605 --> 00:09:51,872 I have to go. I have to do a presentation. 189 00:09:51,944 --> 00:09:53,674 I'll talk to you... 190 00:09:54,148 --> 00:09:56,744 This is going to be hard for me to speak today, 191 00:09:57,054 --> 00:09:59,752 because I just learned that my father has died. 192 00:10:01,195 --> 00:10:03,324 No, he didn't. He is alive. 193 00:10:03,766 --> 00:10:06,533 And this isn't even a cell phone. This is a calculator, 194 00:10:06,706 --> 00:10:09,975 but you bought it and now you can't return it. 195 00:10:10,680 --> 00:10:13,083 Or can you? No, you can't. 196 00:10:13,686 --> 00:10:16,590 Yes, Karen? Do you need to go pump? 197 00:10:17,694 --> 00:10:19,607 Not gonna have to do that until after I have the baby. 198 00:10:19,631 --> 00:10:22,228 No, I am wondering what are you talking about? 199 00:10:22,304 --> 00:10:26,768 I am talking about how you all need to sell an experience. 200 00:10:26,846 --> 00:10:30,115 Like I sold you on the idea that my father had died. 201 00:10:30,186 --> 00:10:31,985 But now we think you're a liar. 202 00:10:32,391 --> 00:10:35,557 Would a liar bring mini Mounds bars? 203 00:10:37,768 --> 00:10:39,260 I am a theatrical person. 204 00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:41,651 Growing up I always thought I would become an actor 205 00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:46,447 because I have these memorization tricks that I use. 206 00:10:47,087 --> 00:10:48,453 Um... 207 00:10:48,523 --> 00:10:51,963 For instance, I learned the Pledge of Allegiance 208 00:10:52,030 --> 00:10:54,592 by setting it to the tune of Old MacDonald. 209 00:10:58,109 --> 00:11:03,074 I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America 210 00:11:03,152 --> 00:11:06,090 And to the republic for which it stands 211 00:11:06,158 --> 00:11:08,355 One nation under God 212 00:11:08,729 --> 00:11:11,223 With a woof-woof here And a woof-woof there 213 00:11:11,302 --> 00:11:14,035 Here a woof, there a woof Everywhere a woof-woof 214 00:11:15,410 --> 00:11:16,742 You get it. 215 00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:20,316 I don't know you. But I need to know you in order to sell to you. 216 00:11:20,921 --> 00:11:23,403 That is why I've asked you to go around and tell me your names. 217 00:11:23,626 --> 00:11:25,425 I have an amazing mnemonic device 218 00:11:25,497 --> 00:11:28,993 by which I have now memorized all of your names. 219 00:11:30,473 --> 00:11:35,381 Shirty, mole, lazy eye, Mexico, baldy, 220 00:11:35,717 --> 00:11:37,516 sugar boobs, black woman. 221 00:11:37,922 --> 00:11:41,053 I have taken a unique part of who you are 222 00:11:41,529 --> 00:11:45,094 and I have used that to memorize your name. 223 00:11:45,603 --> 00:11:49,043 Baldy, your head is bald, it is hairless, 224 00:11:49,211 --> 00:11:53,880 it is shiny, it is reflective, like a mirror. 225 00:11:53,954 --> 00:11:55,786 "M," your name is Mark. 226 00:11:56,225 --> 00:11:58,491 Yes. Got it. It works! 227 00:11:58,596 --> 00:12:00,828 Uh, it's very insulting. 228 00:12:00,901 --> 00:12:02,096 But it works. 229 00:12:02,170 --> 00:12:05,301 I would like you all to give this a shot. What do you say? 230 00:12:05,410 --> 00:12:08,041 But we already know each other's names. 231 00:12:08,115 --> 00:12:10,449 Well, then it will be easier for you. 232 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:12,752 But I still think it's worthwhile to give it a try. 233 00:12:12,824 --> 00:12:15,159 Okay, all right, everyone. Meeting's over. 234 00:12:15,230 --> 00:12:16,391 But I still have more. 235 00:12:16,465 --> 00:12:18,765 Can I please see you in my office, please? 236 00:12:19,471 --> 00:12:22,807 She is pregnant. She is knocked up. "K," Karen. 237 00:12:22,912 --> 00:12:24,141 Pam, let's go. 238 00:12:27,687 --> 00:12:29,520 I can't accept these prices, Stanley. 239 00:12:29,591 --> 00:12:30,786 They just cut our budget. 240 00:12:30,861 --> 00:12:32,625 Brought you guys some coffees. 241 00:12:32,697 --> 00:12:34,758 Stanley, I know you have adult-onset diabetes, 242 00:12:34,835 --> 00:12:37,933 so I put Splenda in yours. 243 00:12:38,643 --> 00:12:40,306 Let's see, how many did I put in there? 244 00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:45,152 One, two, three, four Splendas in your coffee, Stanley 245 00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:49,027 None in yours, Julia, because I don't know how you take it 246 00:12:49,097 --> 00:12:50,725 But if you'd rather... 247 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:53,101 Four Splenda? Are you crazy? 248 00:12:53,172 --> 00:12:54,606 No, I actually only put in two, 249 00:12:54,675 --> 00:12:57,442 but that's not how the song goes. 250 00:12:57,514 --> 00:12:58,915 Are you out of your damn mind? 251 00:12:58,984 --> 00:13:01,216 Are you out of your damn mind? 252 00:13:01,789 --> 00:13:04,192 You bring an angel like that into this office 253 00:13:04,261 --> 00:13:06,629 and you don't even set me up with her. 254 00:13:06,966 --> 00:13:09,664 We're not friends. I didn't think about it. 255 00:13:10,106 --> 00:13:13,010 We are friends. Stanley, we're friends. 256 00:13:13,746 --> 00:13:15,340 And you let me down. 257 00:13:17,253 --> 00:13:19,052 You really like her, huh? 258 00:13:19,124 --> 00:13:22,392 Yeah, I really like her with all my heart. 259 00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:28,032 Give me two clients for her. 260 00:13:28,676 --> 00:13:31,911 I grab this, and I turn it on and I say, 261 00:13:31,983 --> 00:13:35,478 "Prepare yourself for the Utica Chain Store Massacre." 262 00:13:35,590 --> 00:13:38,187 No, that is incredibly dangerous. 263 00:13:38,262 --> 00:13:39,821 No, don't worry, the chain is off. 264 00:13:39,899 --> 00:13:40,992 No, it's not. 265 00:13:41,068 --> 00:13:43,732 You know, I think I'm just going to distill all of this 266 00:13:43,806 --> 00:13:45,673 and send it in an e-mail to my team. 267 00:13:45,743 --> 00:13:49,080 E-mail's not scary. This is an opportunity. Don't blow it. 268 00:13:49,217 --> 00:13:50,948 So, when are you due? 269 00:13:51,188 --> 00:13:53,021 Uh, in about a month. 270 00:13:53,225 --> 00:13:56,095 Wow, that is wonderful. Congratulations. 271 00:13:56,165 --> 00:13:58,932 Thank you. It just all happened so fast. 272 00:13:59,070 --> 00:14:01,199 It's really amazing. Congratulations, Karen. Thanks. 273 00:14:01,775 --> 00:14:04,942 So is there a guy or a person 274 00:14:05,850 --> 00:14:10,815 or a sperm machine that did this to you or... 275 00:14:10,894 --> 00:14:13,866 Yes, Michael. My husband impregnated me. 276 00:14:13,934 --> 00:14:15,061 Great. 277 00:14:15,536 --> 00:14:16,971 His name is Dan. 278 00:14:18,642 --> 00:14:20,805 This is us. We're so dorky. That's cute. 279 00:14:20,881 --> 00:14:22,247 Yes, thank you. 280 00:14:22,317 --> 00:14:25,916 He's a dermatologist. We met at a bar. Can you believe that? 281 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:28,719 What is happening there? 282 00:14:28,796 --> 00:14:31,290 Oh, yeah, don't even... That's really dorky. 283 00:14:31,735 --> 00:14:32,736 It's really sweet. 284 00:14:32,837 --> 00:14:34,170 No, it's really dorky. 285 00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:36,575 You were right the first time. 286 00:14:36,712 --> 00:14:39,411 So how are things in Scranton? How's Jim? 287 00:14:39,484 --> 00:14:41,887 They're good. Jim's good. 288 00:14:43,726 --> 00:14:45,218 We're engaged. 289 00:14:47,734 --> 00:14:50,035 That's so great. That's great. 290 00:14:50,106 --> 00:14:51,574 Thank you. 291 00:14:51,642 --> 00:14:52,924 Oh, my God. I'm so happy for you. 292 00:14:52,945 --> 00:14:54,106 Oh, wow. Thank you. 293 00:14:55,216 --> 00:14:58,848 Old hatreds dissolve into new friendships. 294 00:14:59,291 --> 00:15:01,591 This is really a wonderful moment. 295 00:15:05,804 --> 00:15:07,569 I have to take care of a couple of things, 296 00:15:07,641 --> 00:15:09,874 so Andy will be taking over things here. 297 00:15:09,947 --> 00:15:12,816 You are in good hands and give my best to your mother. 298 00:15:13,988 --> 00:15:18,520 So, Julia, um, let's see. 299 00:15:19,298 --> 00:15:24,570 With regards to billing, should we send bills 300 00:15:24,642 --> 00:15:27,273 to you or to your boyfriend's house, or... 301 00:15:27,348 --> 00:15:29,443 No, it can go straight to our business address. 302 00:15:29,518 --> 00:15:32,513 Oh, okay. All right. That makes sense. 303 00:15:32,591 --> 00:15:35,529 How does your boyfriend deal with your phenomenal success? 304 00:15:36,299 --> 00:15:39,066 Is he just, like, totally threatened by you, or... 305 00:15:39,138 --> 00:15:42,076 Actually, I don't have a boyfriend. 306 00:15:42,478 --> 00:15:46,816 Really? Is that... Wow, that's so weird. 307 00:15:48,256 --> 00:15:49,554 Guys, stop everything. 308 00:15:49,625 --> 00:15:52,256 I'm about to ask out this girl and I'm completely panicking. 309 00:15:52,331 --> 00:15:53,765 Oh, my desk is over... 310 00:15:53,833 --> 00:15:56,031 This gal, she's really into you? 311 00:15:56,105 --> 00:15:57,835 Yeah. Yeah, I mean, 312 00:15:57,909 --> 00:15:59,775 I've seen her like three times today 313 00:15:59,845 --> 00:16:01,838 and we love all the same music 314 00:16:01,917 --> 00:16:04,615 and whenever I walk into a room she totally looks up. 315 00:16:04,689 --> 00:16:08,720 All right, say no more. This is how I got Squeaky Fromme. 316 00:16:09,665 --> 00:16:13,230 No small talk. Just show her who's the boss. 317 00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:14,797 Just go right in and kiss her. 318 00:16:14,876 --> 00:16:16,572 Okay, it sounds risky. 319 00:16:16,646 --> 00:16:19,174 Have I ever steered you wrong, Jim? 320 00:16:20,087 --> 00:16:21,146 Wait, what? 321 00:16:21,656 --> 00:16:23,889 I would give that lecture a solid B-plus. 322 00:16:23,961 --> 00:16:27,730 Although, for the record, Karen, wow, kind of mean. 323 00:16:27,969 --> 00:16:28,970 I like her. 324 00:16:29,038 --> 00:16:32,340 Really? No, honestly. Tell me what you really think. 325 00:16:32,745 --> 00:16:35,649 I'm serious. I'm really glad I came. 326 00:16:36,085 --> 00:16:37,815 Why? 327 00:16:37,889 --> 00:16:39,323 Because, um... 328 00:16:41,395 --> 00:16:45,699 Because I'll never wonder ever again if I did something wrong, 329 00:16:47,608 --> 00:16:48,975 and now I have closure. 330 00:16:49,044 --> 00:16:50,637 She's happy, 331 00:16:51,015 --> 00:16:53,178 and, I don't know, it feels good. 332 00:16:57,594 --> 00:16:58,789 Thanks for walking me out. 333 00:16:58,864 --> 00:17:01,801 Oh, my pleasure. Yeah, there's all kinds of weirdo's out here, so... 334 00:17:01,870 --> 00:17:03,498 You must be freezing. 335 00:17:03,573 --> 00:17:06,010 I am about to die. 336 00:17:06,746 --> 00:17:08,648 Will you wait here while I go get my jacket? 337 00:17:08,716 --> 00:17:10,618 No, it's okay. This is my car. 338 00:17:10,687 --> 00:17:12,247 Okay. Okay. 339 00:17:12,357 --> 00:17:14,452 Well, listen, 340 00:17:14,528 --> 00:17:18,298 you're a new client and as one of my new clients 341 00:17:18,670 --> 00:17:20,799 you will always be taken care of 342 00:17:20,875 --> 00:17:23,846 and that is the Nard-Dog guarantee. 343 00:17:23,914 --> 00:17:25,780 What's a Nard-Dog? 344 00:17:25,851 --> 00:17:27,650 This is the Nard-Dog. 345 00:17:28,423 --> 00:17:30,518 Whoa! What the hell? 346 00:17:30,594 --> 00:17:31,721 Oh... 347 00:17:32,631 --> 00:17:34,898 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 348 00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:38,105 I thought we had this energy 349 00:17:38,176 --> 00:17:41,171 and I'm a mess and I just had my heart broken 350 00:17:41,716 --> 00:17:43,777 and you came in today and you're so pretty. 351 00:17:43,853 --> 00:17:45,099 You're, like, incredibly pretty. 352 00:17:45,123 --> 00:17:48,095 I just got out of a relationship, too. It's really hard. 353 00:17:48,162 --> 00:17:50,394 Yeah, right? Wow. 354 00:17:51,369 --> 00:17:52,564 Do you want to talk about it? 355 00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:54,360 Go to a mall or something, just walk around? 356 00:17:54,408 --> 00:17:55,569 No, I don't think so. 357 00:17:55,644 --> 00:17:58,548 Sure, yeah, you're right. It's too soon. 358 00:17:59,351 --> 00:18:01,344 Definitely too soon for me, 359 00:18:01,422 --> 00:18:03,858 so I'm glad we got that out of the way. 360 00:18:04,361 --> 00:18:06,208 I'm going to be in touch with you in three months. 361 00:18:06,232 --> 00:18:08,429 I'm going to call you about that order. 362 00:18:08,503 --> 00:18:10,473 And maybe about that mall walk. 363 00:18:10,774 --> 00:18:11,775 Okay. 364 00:18:12,644 --> 00:18:13,669 Take care, Julia. 365 00:18:13,746 --> 00:18:14,805 Thank you. 366 00:18:20,593 --> 00:18:22,563 Sorry I tried to kiss... 367 00:18:25,972 --> 00:18:27,668 We lost the account. 368 00:18:33,052 --> 00:18:34,520 Damn it! 369 00:18:36,359 --> 00:18:38,352 - Dwight Schrute. - How old is Kelly? 370 00:18:38,563 --> 00:18:39,564 Who is this? 371 00:18:39,631 --> 00:18:41,157 It's Mose. Who do you think it is? 372 00:18:41,235 --> 00:18:43,728 Mose doesn't know how to use a phone, so joke's on you. 373 00:18:43,806 --> 00:18:46,188 Look, I'm at the supermarket and they only have numbered candles. 374 00:18:46,212 --> 00:18:47,305 How old is she? 375 00:18:47,381 --> 00:18:49,578 Twenty-four. Thirty-seven. 376 00:18:49,953 --> 00:18:52,000 Do you think I'm calling you for your best approximation? 377 00:18:52,024 --> 00:18:53,049 I'll call you back. 378 00:19:01,675 --> 00:19:04,841 I have here Kelly Kapoor's personal and confidential file. 379 00:19:05,016 --> 00:19:06,245 Allow me to share. 380 00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:11,393 "Kelly Kapoor spent April 1995 to December 1996" 381 00:19:11,462 --> 00:19:13,694 "at Berks County Youth Center." 382 00:19:14,568 --> 00:19:15,593 Juvie. 383 00:19:16,873 --> 00:19:21,712 "According to past employers, it in no way affects her job..." Blah, blah, blah. 384 00:19:23,887 --> 00:19:25,287 Are you asleep? 385 00:19:25,356 --> 00:19:26,551 No. 386 00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:29,796 Just thinking about what you said. 387 00:19:31,268 --> 00:19:33,363 About Karen, about closure. 388 00:19:35,076 --> 00:19:38,480 You remember Holly? She used to work for HR. 389 00:19:40,253 --> 00:19:41,312 No, remind me. 390 00:19:41,655 --> 00:19:43,090 Blonde hair, 391 00:19:43,861 --> 00:19:45,659 nice boobs. 392 00:19:45,730 --> 00:19:47,393 Not too big, not too small. 393 00:19:47,834 --> 00:19:50,898 Perfect boobs. Of course I remember Holly. 394 00:19:51,442 --> 00:19:53,036 She was the love of my life. 395 00:19:54,515 --> 00:19:58,615 What you and Jim have times a hundred. Just... She... 396 00:19:58,689 --> 00:20:02,686 She just left and I didn't... 397 00:20:02,764 --> 00:20:04,290 I never got closure. 398 00:20:04,368 --> 00:20:06,361 You know? I never got closure with her. 399 00:20:06,438 --> 00:20:09,672 I haven't talked to her since. I haven't seen her since. 400 00:20:09,745 --> 00:20:13,207 And I feel like I need to go to Nashua and get closure. 401 00:20:13,286 --> 00:20:14,777 I feel like I need that. 402 00:20:18,629 --> 00:20:21,100 Okay. Let's go. 403 00:20:22,571 --> 00:20:25,839 Oh, just blow off the lecture at Rochester? 404 00:20:27,847 --> 00:20:30,546 Yeah. Screw them, let's do this. 405 00:20:37,100 --> 00:20:38,261 Okay. 406 00:20:41,944 --> 00:20:44,676 I am collecting $3 from everybody for Kelly's party. 407 00:20:44,782 --> 00:20:46,012 I'd like to contribute. 408 00:20:46,085 --> 00:20:47,451 Oh, great. 409 00:20:50,727 --> 00:20:51,820 Here you go.