1
00:00:01,551 --> 00:00:03,109
Yeah, that's no problem.
Pam.

2
00:00:03,186 --> 00:00:05,677
Sure.
Pam, knock knock.

3
00:00:05,756 --> 00:00:07,587
I'm on the phone.
I know you are. Knock knock.

4
00:00:07,657 --> 00:00:09,625
You can fax it over.

5
00:00:09,693 --> 00:00:13,789
Yeah, 5-7-0-5-5-5...
4-9-1...

6
00:00:13,864 --> 00:00:15,525
0-1...
7-4...

7
00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:17,362
7-5.
Five-ling.

8
00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:20,528
0-1-7-5.
Thank you. Bye-bye.

9
00:00:22,439 --> 00:00:23,783
That really makes us
look unprofessional.

10
00:00:23,807 --> 00:00:25,184
They would never know
it was me doing it.

11
00:00:25,208 --> 00:00:26,368
Here we go. Knock knock.

12
00:00:27,944 --> 00:00:29,241
Who's there?

13
00:00:29,312 --> 00:00:30,336
Buddha.

14
00:00:30,413 --> 00:00:32,745
Buddha who?
Buddha this bread for me, won't you?

15
00:00:35,919 --> 00:00:38,752
Great.
I need something to wipe my hand.

16
00:00:38,822 --> 00:00:41,017
Now, there's butter on my desk.
That was melting.

17
00:00:41,091 --> 00:00:43,059
It was a classic.
I got a knock knock joke.

18
00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:44,126
No. God.

19
00:00:44,194 --> 00:00:45,821
Michael, please, please, please.

20
00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:47,555
Please let me.
All right.

21
00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:49,997
Knock knock.
Who's there?

22
00:00:50,066 --> 00:00:51,465
KGB.
KG...

23
00:00:51,535 --> 00:00:54,231
We will ask the questions.
What the hell was that?

24
00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:55,915
- What are you doing?
- What are you doing?

25
00:00:55,939 --> 00:00:58,806
Hey, hey! Stop it! Stop it! Hey!
Come on! You like that? You like that?

26
00:00:58,875 --> 00:01:00,620
What are you doing?
Mine was part of a hilarious joke!

27
00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:02,373
Mine was retribution.
What are you doing?

28
00:01:02,445 --> 00:01:04,003
No more knock knock jokes.

29
00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:06,207
That's it.
Ding dong.

30
00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:07,944
Who's there?
KGB.

31
00:01:08,885 --> 00:01:10,229
Dwight, get the door.
I'm not answering it.

32
00:01:10,253 --> 00:01:11,293
Answer the door.
Ding dong.

33
00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:13,016
- No way. It's the KGB.
- Ding dong.

34
00:01:13,089 --> 00:01:14,267
I'm not answering that.
Yes, you're going to.

35
00:01:14,291 --> 00:01:15,535
You answer it!
I'm not going to answer it.

36
00:01:15,559 --> 00:01:17,203
Ding dong. I'm not going
to answer it. It's the KGB.

37
00:01:17,227 --> 00:01:19,058
The KGB will wait for no one!

38
00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:23,997
It's true.

39
00:01:25,750 --> 00:01:31,824
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org

40
00:01:49,659 --> 00:01:50,887
Good morning, Michael.

41
00:01:50,961 --> 00:01:52,895
No, no, no.

42
00:01:52,963 --> 00:01:57,593
I am not Michael.
I am Willy Wonka!

43
00:01:59,002 --> 00:02:00,902
Good morning, Mr. Wonka.
Here are your messages.

44
00:02:00,971 --> 00:02:02,268
Why, thank you very much.

45
00:02:02,339 --> 00:02:04,603
What are those?
What are those? Tell me, please.

46
00:02:04,674 --> 00:02:06,301
Jellybeans.
No, no, no.

47
00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:09,106
They are not just ordinary jellybeans,
little girl.

48
00:02:09,179 --> 00:02:14,048
These are extraordinary
jellybeans.

49
00:02:14,351 --> 00:02:17,411
The Willy Wonka
golden-ticket promotional idea

50
00:02:17,487 --> 00:02:20,581
is probably the best idea
I have ever had.

51
00:02:20,657 --> 00:02:22,682
It's probably the best idea
anybody's ever had.

52
00:02:23,093 --> 00:02:24,219
Three days ago,

53
00:02:24,294 --> 00:02:28,390
I slipped five pieces of gold
paper into random paper shipments.

54
00:02:28,465 --> 00:02:32,265
This entitles the customer
to 10% off of their total order.

55
00:02:32,335 --> 00:02:37,864
It will be a day for them that is
full of whimsy and full of excitement.

56
00:02:38,642 --> 00:02:40,405
And full of fantasy.

57
00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:42,973
I've written these things

58
00:02:43,046 --> 00:02:46,675
because it is my responsibility
as manager of this branch

59
00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:49,412
to profiligate great ideas.

60
00:02:49,486 --> 00:02:53,183
And I think I have done my part
with the golden-ticket promotion.

61
00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:54,746
Now it is your turn.

62
00:02:54,824 --> 00:02:59,158
I want to hear some great ideas from
you that are just as good as mine.

63
00:03:00,964 --> 00:03:02,693
We own our own delivery trucks.

64
00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:04,810
We could lease them out on the
weekends... Too many words.

65
00:03:04,834 --> 00:03:07,826
Good ideas are simple,
golden ticket.

66
00:03:07,904 --> 00:03:10,134
Free paper.
No, Jim.

67
00:03:10,206 --> 00:03:13,937
We're a business. Post-its,
that is a golden-ticket idea.

68
00:03:14,010 --> 00:03:18,276
NASA took five or six golden-ticket
ideas to get men on the moon.

69
00:03:18,348 --> 00:03:22,717
Golden Girls. That's
a golden-ticket idea. Right?

70
00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:24,310
I mean, how great was that show?

71
00:03:24,387 --> 00:03:27,379
Golden Grahams.
Another. It's a...

72
00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:30,149
I don't get this.

73
00:03:30,226 --> 00:03:31,818
No, you don't. No. It...

74
00:03:33,396 --> 00:03:37,264
What will be
the state of this company

75
00:03:37,334 --> 00:03:41,236
if I am the only one coming up
with the great ideas, right?

76
00:03:41,504 --> 00:03:43,529
I think I should call her.

77
00:03:44,541 --> 00:03:47,374
No. No. No.

78
00:03:48,211 --> 00:03:51,908
Why is it so bad for me to call
and ask her to lunch today?

79
00:03:52,248 --> 00:03:55,479
You're making
it too easy for her.

80
00:03:55,552 --> 00:03:59,386
You're just conveying,
"I like you just the way you are."

81
00:03:59,456 --> 00:04:01,447
But I do like her
just the way she is.

82
00:04:01,524 --> 00:04:03,583
Well, that's not
what we agreed on.

83
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:04,786
What are you doing?

84
00:04:04,861 --> 00:04:06,658
Why don't you just
go on a date with her?

85
00:04:06,730 --> 00:04:09,699
Try to spark up an ongoing joke
and then, in a month or two,

86
00:04:09,766 --> 00:04:11,393
- if it feels right, you'll know.
- No.

87
00:04:11,468 --> 00:04:13,129
You don't have
to wait that long.

88
00:04:13,203 --> 00:04:16,900
I mean, you don't have to wait a month
to ask her out. Just ask her out.

89
00:04:16,973 --> 00:04:19,305
You're asking him
to give up all of his power.

90
00:04:19,376 --> 00:04:20,400
What power?

91
00:04:20,477 --> 00:04:24,914
Andy, Pam and Jim
are all telling me

92
00:04:24,981 --> 00:04:27,745
how to deal with this
girl that I like, Lynn.

93
00:04:28,218 --> 00:04:32,211
I don't like getting advice from
more than one person at a time.

94
00:04:32,288 --> 00:04:34,483
I'm a textbook over-thinker.

95
00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:39,394
You can't let a girl feel good about
herself. It will backfire on you.

96
00:04:39,462 --> 00:04:41,259
Every compliment
has to be backhanded.

97
00:04:41,331 --> 00:04:44,562
"I like your dress, but I'd like
it more if you had prettier hair."

98
00:04:44,634 --> 00:04:46,499
That's psychotic.

99
00:04:46,569 --> 00:04:47,831
Do guys actually do that?

100
00:04:47,904 --> 00:04:50,099
Guys with girlfriends don't.

101
00:04:50,173 --> 00:04:51,333
That's low, Tuna.

102
00:04:51,941 --> 00:04:54,000
Hey, Tom. What's that?

103
00:04:54,077 --> 00:04:55,544
Oh, you found a golden ticket.

104
00:04:55,612 --> 00:04:57,172
One of my clients
found a golden ticket.

105
00:04:58,348 --> 00:04:59,348
Yeah.

106
00:04:59,682 --> 00:05:02,742
No, congratulations about that.

107
00:05:04,788 --> 00:05:06,165
Yeah, I'll take that down right now.
Tell me,

108
00:05:06,189 --> 00:05:08,623
was it a spoiled little girl

109
00:05:08,691 --> 00:05:09,931
with big lips?
I'm on the phone.

110
00:05:09,993 --> 00:05:12,962
Or an odd little boy
with a cowboy obsession?

111
00:05:13,029 --> 00:05:14,507
Hold on one sec.
Invite them on the tour.

112
00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:15,657
Hold on one sec.

113
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:18,792
It's actually Blue Cross
from Pennsylvania. Really?

114
00:05:18,868 --> 00:05:20,836
Yeah.
That's kind of a big client.

115
00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:22,667
Hey, Oscar.

116
00:05:25,942 --> 00:05:29,378
How much of a hit is 10%
of our Blue Cross account?

117
00:05:29,446 --> 00:05:30,446
10%?
Yeah.

118
00:05:30,513 --> 00:05:31,878
They're our largest client.
Yeah.

119
00:05:31,948 --> 00:05:33,813
- That's going to hurt.
- Hold on one sec.

120
00:05:33,883 --> 00:05:35,714
Hold on one sec, Tom.
What's that?

121
00:05:35,785 --> 00:05:38,049
You found five golden tickets?

122
00:05:39,622 --> 00:05:41,590
And does it say
limit one per customer?

123
00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:44,386
Nope. It doesn't.

124
00:05:46,129 --> 00:05:48,574
How do you not spread out the
tickets into different shipments?

125
00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:50,225
I thought I did,

126
00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:52,645
so no harm, no foul. Okay, well
I'm going to go call corporate

127
00:05:52,669 --> 00:05:55,035
to make sure that they know
I didn't lose half my sales.

128
00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:58,905
You didn't. It'll be fine.

129
00:05:58,975 --> 00:06:00,465
It'll be good.

130
00:06:01,744 --> 00:06:06,772
Hey, hey, hey. You idiot.

131
00:06:06,850 --> 00:06:08,044
Start over.

132
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:13,215
Sir, I placed a bunch of
golden tickets into five separate boxes

133
00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:16,183
and somehow they all
ended up at Blue Cross.

134
00:06:16,259 --> 00:06:17,453
How does this happen?

135
00:06:17,527 --> 00:06:18,824
Were the boxes near each other?

136
00:06:18,895 --> 00:06:19,919
Irrelevant.

137
00:06:19,996 --> 00:06:23,159
I put three pallets on the
truck to Blue Cross once a week.

138
00:06:23,233 --> 00:06:25,064
They use a lot of paper.

139
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:28,571
Okay, I'm going to ask you something,
and I want you to be honest.

140
00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:30,299
What is a pallet?

141
00:06:31,441 --> 00:06:34,740
My golden-ticket idea, okay.

142
00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:38,440
Why would anyone think that
this is my golden-ticket idea?

143
00:06:38,515 --> 00:06:43,475
There's a one in 13 chance that this
could be anybody's golden-ticket idea.

144
00:06:43,553 --> 00:06:44,747
That...

145
00:06:46,189 --> 00:06:48,282
Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.

146
00:06:48,892 --> 00:06:50,519
Hi, David.

147
00:06:51,060 --> 00:06:55,258
No, I'm sorry. He's not back
from the civil rights rally.

148
00:06:56,533 --> 00:06:59,832
I'll have him call you the minute he
gets back from the Lincoln Memorial.

149
00:06:59,903 --> 00:07:04,465
When Michael's skirting a phone call,
he gave me a list of places to say he is.

150
00:07:04,541 --> 00:07:06,304
"Stopping a fight
in the parking lot.

151
00:07:06,376 --> 00:07:09,834
"An Obama fashion show."
Whatever that is.

152
00:07:10,647 --> 00:07:14,447
Or "Trapped in an oil painting."
I'm going to save that one.

153
00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:21,112
Nobody panic.
The good news is

154
00:07:21,191 --> 00:07:23,386
they can't fire all of us, right?
They can.

155
00:07:23,459 --> 00:07:24,892
No, they can't.
Yes, they can.

156
00:07:24,961 --> 00:07:27,725
Well, Oscar, you don't know what
the hell you're talking about.

157
00:07:27,797 --> 00:07:29,992
Michael, what do you think
shutting down a branch is?

158
00:07:30,066 --> 00:07:32,296
All right, then we're screwed.

159
00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:39,403
I am just a net that traps all
of your crappy subconscious ideas

160
00:07:40,510 --> 00:07:44,674
and adds a little bit of my own
childhood memories and whimsy so...

161
00:07:44,747 --> 00:07:47,648
Okay, well, I lost
a ton of money today.

162
00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:49,295
And I have a mortgage,
so I'm a little pissed, too.

163
00:07:49,319 --> 00:07:50,650
Thank you.
Jim is with me.

164
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,381
Absolutely not.
I'm mad at you.

165
00:07:52,622 --> 00:07:56,615
Well, you know what, Jim, it is not my fault
that you bought a house to impress Pam.

166
00:07:56,693 --> 00:07:59,253
- That is why carnations exist.
- That's not why.

167
00:07:59,329 --> 00:08:04,028
Okay, we need a gold-ticket idea
to get us out of this mess. Yes?

168
00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:06,432
Does that mean an idea that
blows up in our faces later?

169
00:08:06,502 --> 00:08:07,502
Good one.

170
00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:10,232
Okay, don't get that. Please.

171
00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:12,301
I've got
a golden-ticket idea.

172
00:08:12,375 --> 00:08:14,935
Why don't you skip on up
to the roof and jump off?

173
00:08:15,011 --> 00:08:16,672
That is not constructive.

174
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,707
Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.

175
00:08:19,649 --> 00:08:21,139
Oh, hi, David.

176
00:08:22,185 --> 00:08:24,210
He's having a colonoscopy.

177
00:08:25,822 --> 00:08:28,620
All right. I'll find out
if he's out yet.

178
00:08:29,525 --> 00:08:31,789
Hello, David.
I just got back from my procedure, so...

179
00:08:31,861 --> 00:08:33,988
Michael, what the hell
is going on here?

180
00:08:34,063 --> 00:08:35,155
How are you doing?

181
00:08:35,231 --> 00:08:37,199
Fine. What is going on?
My colonoscopy

182
00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:40,532
was an examination
of my large colon

183
00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:43,436
and the distal part of my
small bowel with a camera.

184
00:08:43,506 --> 00:08:46,964
Why did you okay
this golden-ticket idea?

185
00:08:47,043 --> 00:08:49,944
We're going to lose a fortune, Michael.
How could you let this happen?

186
00:08:50,013 --> 00:08:55,508
Well, there is an explanation that
involves me not letting it happen,

187
00:08:55,585 --> 00:08:59,248
and I just don't...
I don't know.

188
00:08:59,322 --> 00:09:00,602
How could you not know, Michael?

189
00:09:00,623 --> 00:09:06,357
I think we might have hired an
outside marketing consultant.

190
00:09:07,764 --> 00:09:10,597
You might have...
Okay, what firm?

191
00:09:10,667 --> 00:09:13,033
You're breaking up.
Michael.

192
00:09:13,102 --> 00:09:17,539
Okay. I think it might have
been an inside consultant.

193
00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:20,435
Was it the sales department?

194
00:09:21,244 --> 00:09:22,302
Yes.

195
00:09:22,378 --> 00:09:24,938
Was it Jim?
No.

196
00:09:25,014 --> 00:09:26,777
Okay. Was it Dwight?

197
00:09:30,586 --> 00:09:31,644
Yes.

198
00:09:36,959 --> 00:09:40,224
Come on in. Good to see you.
Have a seat.

199
00:09:42,064 --> 00:09:46,296
I just wanted to congratulate you
on that great golden-ticket idea.

200
00:09:46,369 --> 00:09:47,529
That was your idea.

201
00:09:47,603 --> 00:09:49,935
Whoa, wow, who told you that?
You did.

202
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:51,006
No.
Several times.

203
00:09:51,073 --> 00:09:52,284
I don't think I ever did.
Over and over again.

204
00:09:52,308 --> 00:09:54,252
That was your idea, Dwight.
You were dressed as Willy Wonka.

205
00:09:54,276 --> 00:09:56,369
I'm not taking credit for that.
So... Wasn't my idea.

206
00:09:56,445 --> 00:09:58,256
Would love to, but I can't.
Wait a second, wait a second.

207
00:09:58,280 --> 00:10:00,714
Wait a second.
I wrote it down in my diary.

208
00:10:00,783 --> 00:10:03,445
You don't keep a diary. Yes, I do.
You've just never seen it.

209
00:10:03,519 --> 00:10:08,547
March 4th, "Dwight came up with the
best idea today about golden tickets."

210
00:10:08,624 --> 00:10:09,852
Hold on.

211
00:10:17,066 --> 00:10:20,229
March 4th,

212
00:10:20,302 --> 00:10:22,681
"Michael Scott came up with
golden-ticket idea to give five customers"

213
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:24,764
"10% off for one year."

214
00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:25,932
Why do you have a diary?

215
00:10:26,008 --> 00:10:27,339
To keep secrets
from my computer.

216
00:10:27,410 --> 00:10:29,401
Okay, you know what,
you came up with this idea.

217
00:10:29,478 --> 00:10:33,676
I remember you told me that
you loved the Willy Wonka movie

218
00:10:33,749 --> 00:10:35,376
when you were growing up.
Impossible.

219
00:10:35,451 --> 00:10:38,614
Yes, you did.
I wasn't given candy as a child,

220
00:10:38,688 --> 00:10:42,784
so a movie that fetishized it that
much would've made no sense to me.

221
00:10:42,858 --> 00:10:47,261
Plus, we weren't allowed
to see movies, so do the math.

222
00:10:50,299 --> 00:10:51,299
What are you writing?

223
00:10:51,367 --> 00:10:55,667
"Had conversation with Michael about taking
credit for an idea that wasn't mine."

224
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:57,296
"Discussed movies."

225
00:10:57,373 --> 00:11:01,537
Would you like to go to lunch with me?
Just the two of us?

226
00:11:03,546 --> 00:11:05,207
With all my heart.

227
00:11:06,048 --> 00:11:08,414
You guys are throwing
a lot at me.

228
00:11:08,484 --> 00:11:11,596
Well, all I'm saying is it's the first
date, so just keep a respectful distance.

229
00:11:11,620 --> 00:11:12,644
Right.

230
00:11:12,722 --> 00:11:14,866
I don't think Jim means to say
that you shouldn't touch her.

231
00:11:14,890 --> 00:11:15,914
No, that is what I mean.

232
00:11:15,991 --> 00:11:19,085
Kevin, a playful
touch on the arm or on the back,

233
00:11:19,161 --> 00:11:22,927
it can show your interest,
and it's really romantic.

234
00:11:22,998 --> 00:11:24,727
Like that?
No. Stop it.

235
00:11:27,036 --> 00:11:32,269
Don't touch her, don't talk to her,
don't look at her.

236
00:11:32,341 --> 00:11:34,486
He wants to be more than just friends.
Put your heart out there,

237
00:11:34,510 --> 00:11:36,876
it's liable to just turn into
this blackened, carbon brick,

238
00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:39,506
where it has barbeque sauce
of shame and rage.

239
00:11:39,615 --> 00:11:42,448
And two hot people
with a perfect relationship

240
00:11:42,518 --> 00:11:44,543
would not understand that.

241
00:11:46,255 --> 00:11:48,052
We think a lot alike.

242
00:11:48,724 --> 00:11:52,785
Sometimes you will think something,
and I will say what you're thinking.

243
00:11:52,862 --> 00:11:55,057
Okay, what am I thinking
right now?

244
00:11:57,399 --> 00:11:59,026
Nacho chips.
No.

245
00:11:59,101 --> 00:12:01,379
I was thinking about how the skin
is the largest organ of the body.

246
00:12:01,403 --> 00:12:04,304
Okay. Let me just cut
to the chase, Dwight.

247
00:12:05,641 --> 00:12:07,302
I want you to fall
on your sword for me.

248
00:12:07,376 --> 00:12:08,809
Oh, not gonna happen.

249
00:12:09,378 --> 00:12:10,845
I did fall on my sword once.

250
00:12:10,913 --> 00:12:14,349
I was running with it in my belt.
Wort happen again.

251
00:12:14,583 --> 00:12:18,349
Why do you even want to stay at Dunder
Mifflin? I mean, what's the point?

252
00:12:18,420 --> 00:12:22,584
You're cooped up in there all day.
You don't get to do your farming.

253
00:12:22,658 --> 00:12:23,955
You're not dating
Angela anymore.

254
00:12:24,026 --> 00:12:28,963
It doesn't matter if you get fired for
taking credit for the gold-ticket idea.

255
00:12:29,031 --> 00:12:30,157
It doesn't matter.

256
00:12:30,232 --> 00:12:32,666
Me, on the other hand,
I would be lost without this place.

257
00:12:32,735 --> 00:12:34,464
You, way too manly.

258
00:12:34,537 --> 00:12:35,868
What about Shoe La La?

259
00:12:35,938 --> 00:12:38,236
It's not ready yet.

260
00:12:38,307 --> 00:12:43,176
I have an idea for a fancy men's
shoe store called Shoe La La.

261
00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:48,649
And it's just men's shoes for the
special occasions in a mars life.

262
00:12:49,385 --> 00:12:54,288
Like the day that you get married,
or the day your wife has a baby,

263
00:12:54,356 --> 00:12:56,586
or for just lounging
around the house.

264
00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:00,993
May I have your attention, please?
I have an announcement.

265
00:13:01,063 --> 00:13:07,798
Mr. Dwight Schrute and I just returned
from a wonderful stroll together.

266
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:12,068
And although I probably will
never do it again, I had fun.

267
00:13:12,141 --> 00:13:15,872
I really had fun with my best friend,
Dwight. These aren't announcements.

268
00:13:15,945 --> 00:13:19,381
Yes, they are. You just don't
care about the information.

269
00:13:19,448 --> 00:13:22,110
I love working here,
and I do not want to leave.

270
00:13:22,184 --> 00:13:24,084
He doesn't love it that much.

271
00:13:24,153 --> 00:13:26,178
Wouldn't be such a bad
thing for him to be fired.

272
00:13:26,255 --> 00:13:30,089
Well... I mean,
like we were talking about,

273
00:13:30,159 --> 00:13:33,026
that is why he has come
to the conclusion...

274
00:13:33,095 --> 00:13:36,087
We discussed the fact
that I'm cooped up here

275
00:13:36,165 --> 00:13:38,065
instead of experiencing
the whole wide world.

276
00:13:38,133 --> 00:13:40,931
Right. You know,
plowing my own acres.

277
00:13:41,003 --> 00:13:45,702
Going around shirtless all day.
You know, experiencing freedom.

278
00:13:45,774 --> 00:13:49,505
That's it. That's it.
You can't put a price on freedom.

279
00:13:49,578 --> 00:13:51,341
Try me.
That's why you've made the decision.

280
00:13:51,413 --> 00:13:53,278
That's why you made...

281
00:13:53,349 --> 00:13:55,442
I haven't made a decision yet.
You kind of have.

282
00:13:55,517 --> 00:13:58,918
No.
Yes, you have.

283
00:14:03,425 --> 00:14:05,450
You cannot take
the fall for him.

284
00:14:05,527 --> 00:14:06,927
He said he would
do the same for me.

285
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:11,161
He can do the same for you right
now by getting fired instead of you.

286
00:14:13,535 --> 00:14:15,662
So what are you going to do?

287
00:14:16,372 --> 00:14:21,810
I'm going to go back to work, after
I write you up for insubordination.

288
00:14:21,877 --> 00:14:23,139
There he is.

289
00:14:25,881 --> 00:14:28,714
Oh, my God. Dwight!
Dwight, get in.

290
00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:32,879
What's it going to be?
What are you going to do?

291
00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:36,015
What's it going to be?
Are you going to do this thing for me?

292
00:14:36,091 --> 00:14:37,319
Dwight?

293
00:14:38,794 --> 00:14:41,058
Hey, David, how are you?
Michael.

294
00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:42,859
Good to see you.
Nice surprise. Hey.

295
00:14:42,932 --> 00:14:43,932
Yeah.

296
00:14:43,999 --> 00:14:47,366
Dwight and I were just having a
very unfortunate conversation.

297
00:14:47,436 --> 00:14:48,528
That's too bad.

298
00:14:48,604 --> 00:14:51,095
Yes, it is.
But it had to be done, didn't it?

299
00:14:51,173 --> 00:14:56,543
Hopefully, nothing that can't be undone
because, Dwight, I owe you an apology.

300
00:14:56,612 --> 00:14:59,103
The head of Blue Cross
just called.

301
00:14:59,181 --> 00:15:01,376
They were so excited
by the golden-ticket discount

302
00:15:01,450 --> 00:15:05,477
that they have decided to make Dunder
Mifflin their exclusive provider

303
00:15:05,554 --> 00:15:07,454
of all office supplies.

304
00:15:10,759 --> 00:15:12,624
Congratulations, Dwight.

305
00:15:15,064 --> 00:15:16,224
David,

306
00:15:19,468 --> 00:15:21,333
you're welcome.
Yeah.

307
00:15:27,109 --> 00:15:29,669
I just want to say
that this golden-ticket idea

308
00:15:29,745 --> 00:15:32,905
is one of the most brilliant signs of
initiative I've ever seen at this company.

309
00:15:32,948 --> 00:15:36,714
And how about a big round of
applause for Mr. Dwight Schrute?

310
00:15:39,288 --> 00:15:40,949
All right, Dwight!

311
00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:44,716
This is huge.
That's what she said.

312
00:15:46,528 --> 00:15:50,055
Hey, Dwight, great idea.
Dwight, Dwight, great idea.

313
00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:53,933
How'd you come up
with that idea?

314
00:15:55,070 --> 00:15:56,662
Inspiration.
Really?

315
00:15:56,739 --> 00:15:58,750
How were you inspired?
Never know when it's going to strike.

316
00:15:58,774 --> 00:16:01,072
How did it pop into your head, Dwight?
Just boom.

317
00:16:01,143 --> 00:16:02,754
Just give me the details
of how that happened.

318
00:16:02,778 --> 00:16:05,611
You're talking to Dwight Schrute,
the biggest Wonka fan I know.

319
00:16:05,681 --> 00:16:07,726
I mean, you've been talking
about that movie for years.

320
00:16:07,750 --> 00:16:08,944
What?

321
00:16:09,018 --> 00:16:10,542
You know what,
I even made fun of you

322
00:16:10,619 --> 00:16:13,110
when you dressed up as Willy
Wonka to pitch this idea,

323
00:16:13,188 --> 00:16:14,519
and, for that, I apologize.

324
00:16:14,590 --> 00:16:16,558
Apology rejected.

325
00:16:16,625 --> 00:16:18,889
Thanks so much for helping
the company, Dwight.

326
00:16:18,961 --> 00:16:20,258
Oh, Pam.

327
00:16:20,329 --> 00:16:21,353
Good work, kid.

328
00:16:21,430 --> 00:16:22,692
Thanks, old man.

329
00:16:22,765 --> 00:16:23,823
This is...
This is great.

330
00:16:23,899 --> 00:16:27,059
Okay, look, I want to get you on the horn
with the marketing people in New York.

331
00:16:27,102 --> 00:16:28,646
- They should meet you.
- Great idea. Yeah.

332
00:16:28,670 --> 00:16:31,639
Pam, could you set up a call in
there in about 15 minutes, please?

333
00:16:31,707 --> 00:16:33,572
Sure.
David. David.

334
00:16:33,642 --> 00:16:35,166
'Cause
I've got this idea for a...

335
00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:37,109
Yeah?
Could I be part of the meeting also?

336
00:16:37,179 --> 00:16:38,456
You probably have
too much to do around here.

337
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:40,948
I don't want to take up your
time with another meeting.

338
00:16:41,016 --> 00:16:43,628
Yeah, let's face it, this meeting
sounds like it's Wonka fans only.

339
00:16:43,652 --> 00:16:44,710
He's never seen the movie.

340
00:16:44,787 --> 00:16:46,550
All right.

341
00:16:54,029 --> 00:16:57,430
Hey, guys, I have with me Dwight
Schrute. Dwight, take it away.

342
00:16:57,499 --> 00:17:01,868
Okay, guys, listen up. Here's the deal.
I love candy, sweet, sugary candy,

343
00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:03,337
from the second
it touches my tongue

344
00:17:03,405 --> 00:17:05,600
to the moment it's metabolized
by my stomach acid,

345
00:17:05,674 --> 00:17:08,734
so naturally
I liked Willy Wonka.

346
00:17:08,811 --> 00:17:10,904
Wait, do you guys hear that?

347
00:17:10,979 --> 00:17:14,278
There's not a dog listening in,
is there? I hear panting.

348
00:17:14,349 --> 00:17:16,214
No. No dogs.

349
00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:19,516
So I love Willy Wonka.

350
00:17:19,588 --> 00:17:23,524
The golden-ticket scene
is so inspiring to me

351
00:17:23,592 --> 00:17:25,560
that that's where
I came up with that idea.

352
00:17:25,627 --> 00:17:27,788
There is no movie
called Willy Wonka!

353
00:17:27,863 --> 00:17:29,641
It's called Willy Wonka
& the Chocolate Factory.

354
00:17:29,665 --> 00:17:32,143
It's actually based on a book called
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

355
00:17:32,167 --> 00:17:34,465
I can't vouch for that.
Pam.

356
00:17:34,536 --> 00:17:37,664
But I do know this. He is a liar.
He has taken my idea.

357
00:17:37,739 --> 00:17:39,934
That is my idea.
We are going to call you back, guys.

358
00:17:40,008 --> 00:17:43,341
What is going on here?
Okay, here's what happened, David.

359
00:17:43,412 --> 00:17:44,845
It was all my idea.

360
00:17:44,913 --> 00:17:47,905
You called me,
and you were really angry at me,

361
00:17:47,983 --> 00:17:50,349
and I got scared,
so I had Dwight take the fall.

362
00:17:50,419 --> 00:17:52,785
But now it turns out
that it's a great idea,

363
00:17:52,855 --> 00:17:55,449
and Dwight will not confess.
Can you believe that?

364
00:17:55,524 --> 00:17:56,786
No. No.
It is my idea.

365
00:17:56,859 --> 00:17:59,293
How dare you, Dwight?
It is my idea.

366
00:17:59,361 --> 00:18:00,761
I'm filled with good ideas.
Are you?

367
00:18:00,829 --> 00:18:02,319
Thousands of good ideas.
You are?

368
00:18:02,397 --> 00:18:03,625
Yeah.
Good ideas?

369
00:18:03,699 --> 00:18:05,428
Hey, did you come up
with Toilet Buddy?

370
00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:08,231
It's a net,
a circular net you put inside the toilet

371
00:18:08,303 --> 00:18:12,262
to catch all of your change and your
wallet from falling into the toilet,

372
00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:14,502
formerly known as Toilet Guard.
Horse Boat.

373
00:18:14,576 --> 00:18:17,272
Oh, please.
A canoe built around your horse

374
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:20,509
so you can go from riding to
water travel without slowing down.

375
00:18:20,582 --> 00:18:22,049
Horse Boat.
Toilet Sponge.

376
00:18:22,117 --> 00:18:23,982
It's a hollowed out sponge...
Give me a break.

377
00:18:24,052 --> 00:18:27,954
That is more absorbent
and softer than toilet paper.

378
00:18:28,023 --> 00:18:30,355
I have a lot of toilet ideas.
That's 'cause they're easy.

379
00:18:30,425 --> 00:18:32,120
They're not easy.
Guys. Guys.

380
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:33,991
Everybody...
Women's urinal.

381
00:18:34,062 --> 00:18:39,466
Everybody has to go to the bathroom!
Enough. Please, enough.

382
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:43,995
Well, is this true, Dwight?
I mean, is this true?

383
00:18:44,072 --> 00:18:49,669
Yes, it's Michael's idea that he
forced on me on threat of death.

384
00:18:49,745 --> 00:18:51,076
Thank you.

385
00:18:52,014 --> 00:18:53,825
I don't know what...
What do you want me to do now, Michael?

386
00:18:53,849 --> 00:18:56,215
What am I supposed to do now?

387
00:18:56,285 --> 00:18:58,014
Well, David,
I will be honest with you.

388
00:18:58,086 --> 00:19:01,078
I do want the credit
without any of the blame.

389
00:19:02,257 --> 00:19:05,715
Okay. I am going
back to New York.

390
00:19:07,963 --> 00:19:11,126
Pam, do me a favor,
don't send me those notes.

391
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:12,292
Okay.

392
00:19:13,769 --> 00:19:15,100
I am gone.

393
00:19:20,275 --> 00:19:22,903
When they look back on this
day in the history books,

394
00:19:22,978 --> 00:19:26,436
all that will be remembered
is that I had a good idea.

395
00:19:26,515 --> 00:19:29,313
And that's what I'm going
to write down in my diary.

396
00:19:29,384 --> 00:19:31,296
And that is what I want
you to write down in yours.

397
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:34,346
Oh, I am.
In my own words.

398
00:19:35,390 --> 00:19:36,448
I want to see it.
No.

399
00:19:36,525 --> 00:19:37,602
I want to see that.
No, Michael.

400
00:19:37,626 --> 00:19:39,719
Give me the diary.
No. No!

401
00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:47,425
Hi.
Lynn,

402
00:19:47,502 --> 00:19:50,699
I'm just going to say to you
everything that I'm thinking.

403
00:19:50,772 --> 00:19:54,333
Okay.
I think you have the best smile.

404
00:19:55,877 --> 00:19:58,937
I'd like to take you out
to dinner and a movie.

405
00:19:59,982 --> 00:20:00,982
Okay.

406
00:20:01,850 --> 00:20:02,874
Nice...

407
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:05,780
boobs.

408
00:20:14,429 --> 00:20:16,727
Well, it's his funeral, so...

409
00:20:20,769 --> 00:20:21,793
Ding dong.

410
00:20:21,870 --> 00:20:22,996
Who is it?

411
00:20:23,071 --> 00:20:24,902
KGB.
All right.

412
00:20:24,973 --> 00:20:27,168
I just got out of the shower.
I'll be one second.

413
00:20:27,242 --> 00:20:29,642
When you are done,
open the door.

414
00:20:33,448 --> 00:20:34,938
Hello in there?

415
00:20:35,017 --> 00:20:36,828
Yeah, I'm late for work
so I have to brush my teeth.

416
00:20:36,852 --> 00:20:38,046
It's a whole routine.

417
00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:40,179
We have other houses to visit.

418
00:20:40,255 --> 00:20:43,622
If you want to come back,
then that would be fine.

419
00:20:43,692 --> 00:20:45,660
We'll come back at...

420
00:20:45,994 --> 00:20:47,723
How's 4:45?

421
00:20:47,796 --> 00:20:49,627
I get home
from work around 6:00.

422
00:20:51,767 --> 00:20:53,667
How about 5:15?

423
00:20:54,636 --> 00:20:57,104
You can try.
That might work.

424
00:20:57,172 --> 00:20:59,333
Very well, we will
come back at 5:15.

425
00:20:59,408 --> 00:21:00,739
All right.

426
00:21:01,055 --> 00:21:11,055
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